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"Considering we had a good thread going on but I couldn't reply because it's been closed I started another. If you want to read the entire thread search for "why are people so afraid of clubs) Thank you to the lovely lady for defending me but I don't need defending, I can handle myself - which anyone who knows me can vouch for. And a guy with an attitude like that wouldn't speak to me like that in person. . First of all I would never meet a guy with that sort of attitude so him not wanting to spend any money to meet me is no loss to me . Lol. And to all those saying a social is cheaper I have already said multiple times that it has NON GENDERED PRICING STRUCTURE. which means guys pay the same as women. Soooo. I'm sure I'll have to repeat that a few more times. I appreciate everyone's reply (even the not so nice comments) and I'm glad some people are showing what it's actually like for women on fab. And guys really wonder why men get a bad name. Secondly to all the guys who feel they have been let down by women I apologise for that. I think I've just come to the conclusion that both men and women can be arse holes. Without any reason for it. " It was a woman coming out with those comments, that's what shocked me. | |||
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"Considering we had a good thread going on but I couldn't reply because it's been closed I started another. If you want to read the entire thread search for "why are people so afraid of clubs) Thank you to the lovely lady for defending me but I don't need defending, I can handle myself - which anyone who knows me can vouch for. And a guy with an attitude like that wouldn't speak to me like that in person. . First of all I would never meet a guy with that sort of attitude so him not wanting to spend any money to meet me is no loss to me . Lol. And to all those saying a social is cheaper I have already said multiple times that it has NON GENDERED PRICING STRUCTURE. which means guys pay the same as women. Soooo. I'm sure I'll have to repeat that a few more times. I appreciate everyone's reply (even the not so nice comments) and I'm glad some people are showing what it's actually like for women on fab. And guys really wonder why men get a bad name. Secondly to all the guys who feel they have been let down by women I apologise for that. I think I've just come to the conclusion that both men and women can be arse holes. Without any reason for it. It was a woman coming out with those comments, that's what shocked me." Yeah it did me as well but to be honest as we know women can be bitchy lol. Thank you though for your lovely comments | |||
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"Considering we had a good thread going on but I couldn't reply because it's been closed I started another. If you want to read the entire thread search for "why are people so afraid of clubs) Thank you to the lovely lady for defending me but I don't need defending, I can handle myself - which anyone who knows me can vouch for. And a guy with an attitude like that wouldn't speak to me like that in person. . First of all I would never meet a guy with that sort of attitude so him not wanting to spend any money to meet me is no loss to me . Lol. And to all those saying a social is cheaper I have already said multiple times that it has NON GENDERED PRICING STRUCTURE. which means guys pay the same as women. Soooo. I'm sure I'll have to repeat that a few more times. I appreciate everyone's reply (even the not so nice comments) and I'm glad some people are showing what it's actually like for women on fab. And guys really wonder why men get a bad name. Secondly to all the guys who feel they have been let down by women I apologise for that. I think I've just come to the conclusion that both men and women can be arse holes. Without any reason for it. It was a woman coming out with those comments, that's what shocked me. Yeah it did me as well but to be honest as we know women can be bitchy lol. Thank you though for your lovely comments " No problem | |||
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"Its simple for me.. If someone doesnt do clubs.. they wont meet me. I dont arrange to meet though.. I just say when and where I'm going and will only plan to say hello..." This is how it is for me too. | |||
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"It depends. I personally wouldn't go into a hotel room with a guy who I met that evening. Not any more. Maybe in my days of not giving a shit but I've met some real weirdos over the past 8 months of being back on fab. My original point was not to start arguments between people it was more to point out that if I say I'm going to be somewhere I will be and I expect the same courtesy in return. Maybe that's asking too much. But if I've been speaking to people sometimes for a week or so and then they don't show, it's disrespectful. And I see so many posts about guys not getting any action.. Or guys messaging "hey" and then being a dick because you don't reply to their well thought out one word message. For me going to a club and having a neutral ground to meet at but not going and wasting my time on a social. I'm basically guaranteeing I'll play with them because I speak to them beforehand. It's not like I'm saying oh I'm not sure we will see. If that's what I mean, that's what I would say (and have done on many occasions) I'm not really bothered if they don't show up. But someone you've gained a rapport with via message and you've basically said come down and meet me I want to suck your cock and then fuck you. Not really sure why they don't show. " I agree about meeting people alone in a hotel room, there's no way I'd do that, too many bad experiences. | |||
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" I'm basically guaranteeing I'll play with them because I speak to them beforehand. It's not like I'm saying oh I'm not sure we will see. If that's what I mean, that's what I would say (and have done on many occasions) I'm not really bothered if they don't show up. But someone you've gained a rapport with via message and you've basically said come down and meet me I want to suck your cock and then fuck you. Not really sure why they don't show. " This is the point I think most people missed in your original post OP; the fact you are inviting someone to definitely play with you in a club, but for some reason they don’t show. I have no answer for this, other than their nerves got the better of them? The public nature of playing in a club isn’t for everyone, and men can feel pressured to perform, which can have a negative effect on ‘Mini Me’, I’ve experienced this myself At £10 entry, it can’t be pricing putting people off, but the privacy aspect is probably the bigger issue | |||
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"If they were more reasonably priced for single Men I’d go. £70 quid for just a ticket is overpriced but there will be others who find that fair. Odds on finding a single woman at such an event is also low" You mean £70 in a club for single men? That is so out of context, go to a club is cheaper than hotel and even than go to the pub | |||
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"Don't get me wrong, I am a big critic of the low-effort, high-entitlement single male on the scene. And I entirely understand the logic of only meeting at clubs, especially if you have one where people know you and will keep an eye out for you. I want to get to know someone - their limits, how they react, etc - so we can do kinky stuff in future meets you just can't do on a first meet. So I tend to want to go somewhere that's more comfortable, private and where we can hang out for a while. If a club has that then I guess it would work, so long as the guy on the door doesn't have too many questions about the 48 brand new Sharpies amongst all the other toys in my bag " Totally get what you mean. And I'm more than happy to meet people on a regular basis outside of clubs once I get to know them. The place I go to charges £10 for guys (15 on a special event) but that's what everyone pays including women. And it's a fetish and swingers club so no one questions weird items. but I see what you're getting at. I would never ask someone to do something they weren't comfortable with. So if someone said I'm too nervous and I really liked them I may make an exception but that's very rare. But I don't go in with the attitude of arguing my point I just let people know why it's at a club and then it's up to them if they're happy with that. | |||
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" I'm basically guaranteeing I'll play with them because I speak to them beforehand. It's not like I'm saying oh I'm not sure we will see. If that's what I mean, that's what I would say (and have done on many occasions) I'm not really bothered if they don't show up. But someone you've gained a rapport with via message and you've basically said come down and meet me I want to suck your cock and then fuck you. Not really sure why they don't show. This is the point I think most people missed in your original post OP; the fact you are inviting someone to definitely play with you in a club, but for some reason they don’t show. I have no answer for this, other than their nerves got the better of them? The public nature of playing in a club isn’t for everyone, and men can feel pressured to perform, which can have a negative effect on ‘Mini Me’, I’ve experienced this myself At £10 entry, it can’t be pricing putting people off, but the privacy aspect is probably the bigger issue " I actually did several times make a point that I have guaranteed a play. Privacy is never a problem at a club as private rooms are available. It's not like I'm asking guys to come meet me to fuck me whilst a bunch of people watch or anything. It's no different from going into a room with someone at a hotel, it's just at a place where you can do everything. Socialise, have a drink and then play. | |||
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" I'm basically guaranteeing I'll play with them because I speak to them beforehand. It's not like I'm saying oh I'm not sure we will see. If that's what I mean, that's what I would say (and have done on many occasions) I'm not really bothered if they don't show up. But someone you've gained a rapport with via message and you've basically said come down and meet me I want to suck your cock and then fuck you. Not really sure why they don't show. This is the point I think most people missed in your original post OP; the fact you are inviting someone to definitely play with you in a club, but for some reason they don’t show. I have no answer for this, other than their nerves got the better of them? The public nature of playing in a club isn’t for everyone, and men can feel pressured to perform, which can have a negative effect on ‘Mini Me’, I’ve experienced this myself At £10 entry, it can’t be pricing putting people off, but the privacy aspect is probably the bigger issue I actually did several times make a point that I have guaranteed a play. Privacy is never a problem at a club as private rooms are available. It's not like I'm asking guys to come meet me to fuck me whilst a bunch of people watch or anything. It's no different from going into a room with someone at a hotel, it's just at a place where you can do everything. Socialise, have a drink and then play. " Is true the privacy is the same as go to an hotel because clubs they have private rooms also | |||
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"Which club costs a tenner. I wanna go lol. But seriously I love clubs. Meet some amazing people. Have the most mind blowing sex and get to see beautiful women in not a lot of clothes. I get absolutely no success on fab but do pretty well at clubs. For me it's not about cost as I've spent far more on vanilla nights out and had a far worse time. " In Leeds, Quest and Pandora and i do believe almost all clubs they practice same prices or very similar for single men , don't really know the exacy price but sure is arround £15 £20 max i think | |||
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" I'm basically guaranteeing I'll play with them because I speak to them beforehand. It's not like I'm saying oh I'm not sure we will see. If that's what I mean, that's what I would say (and have done on many occasions) I'm not really bothered if they don't show up. But someone you've gained a rapport with via message and you've basically said come down and meet me I want to suck your cock and then fuck you. Not really sure why they don't show. This is the point I think most people missed in your original post OP; the fact you are inviting someone to definitely play with you in a club, but for some reason they don’t show. I have no answer for this, other than their nerves got the better of them? The public nature of playing in a club isn’t for everyone, and men can feel pressured to perform, which can have a negative effect on ‘Mini Me’, I’ve experienced this myself At £10 entry, it can’t be pricing putting people off, but the privacy aspect is probably the bigger issue I actually did several times make a point that I have guaranteed a play. Privacy is never a problem at a club as private rooms are available. It's not like I'm asking guys to come meet me to fuck me whilst a bunch of people watch or anything. It's no different from going into a room with someone at a hotel, it's just at a place where you can do everything. Socialise, have a drink and then play. " Privacy can be a problem in a club. I’ve been to Chams, Atlantis, La Chambre, Townhouse, No.3, Cupids and Club f. Some of the private rooms I’ve seen have time limits on them (45 minutes in one club), some have viewing screens you can’t obscure, and all have door handles which get rattled by people hoping to ‘stumble in’ and be invited to join in I don’t believe anyone goes to a club looking for privacy, but I could be wrong.... | |||
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" I'm basically guaranteeing I'll play with them because I speak to them beforehand. It's not like I'm saying oh I'm not sure we will see. If that's what I mean, that's what I would say (and have done on many occasions) I'm not really bothered if they don't show up. But someone you've gained a rapport with via message and you've basically said come down and meet me I want to suck your cock and then fuck you. Not really sure why they don't show. This is the point I think most people missed in your original post OP; the fact you are inviting someone to definitely play with you in a club, but for some reason they don’t show. I have no answer for this, other than their nerves got the better of them? The public nature of playing in a club isn’t for everyone, and men can feel pressured to perform, which can have a negative effect on ‘Mini Me’, I’ve experienced this myself At £10 entry, it can’t be pricing putting people off, but the privacy aspect is probably the bigger issue I actually did several times make a point that I have guaranteed a play. Privacy is never a problem at a club as private rooms are available. It's not like I'm asking guys to come meet me to fuck me whilst a bunch of people watch or anything. It's no different from going into a room with someone at a hotel, it's just at a place where you can do everything. Socialise, have a drink and then play. Privacy can be a problem in a club. I’ve been to Chams, Atlantis, La Chambre, Townhouse, No.3, Cupids and Club f. Some of the private rooms I’ve seen have time limits on them (45 minutes in one club), some have viewing screens you can’t obscure, and all have door handles which get rattled by people hoping to ‘stumble in’ and be invited to join in I don’t believe anyone goes to a club looking for privacy, but I could be wrong...." I never been any of the clubs you mention but i can assure you Pandora in Leeds you have the all privacy and never experienced issue with limit time at all | |||
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"Its simple for me.. If someone doesnt do clubs.. they wont meet me. I dont arrange to meet though.. I just say when and where I'm going and will only plan to say hello..." We agree with this. We have said we’d meet people at Clubs, but never committed to more than a hello. It gives everyone the chance to say yes or no when we’ve met. People we might fancy on here sometimes we don’t click with, others we meet in Clubs we might click with. Part of the fun | |||
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"Considering we had a good thread going on but I couldn't reply because it's been closed I started another. If you want to read the entire thread search for "why are people so afraid of clubs) Thank you to the lovely lady for defending me but I don't need defending, I can handle myself - which anyone who knows me can vouch for. And a guy with an attitude like that wouldn't speak to me like that in person. . First of all I would never meet a guy with that sort of attitude so him not wanting to spend any money to meet me is no loss to me . Lol. And to all those saying a social is cheaper I have already said multiple times that it has NON GENDERED PRICING STRUCTURE. which means guys pay the same as women. Soooo. I'm sure I'll have to repeat that a few more times. I appreciate everyone's reply (even the not so nice comments) and I'm glad some people are showing what it's actually like for women on fab. And guys really wonder why men get a bad name. Secondly to all the guys who feel they have been let down by women I apologise for that. I think I've just come to the conclusion that both men and women can be arse holes. Without any reason for it. It was a woman coming out with those comments, that's what shocked me. Yeah it did me as well but to be honest as we know women can be bitchy lol. Thank you though for your lovely comments " If you knew it was a woman why the need to say.. "And guys really wonder why men get a bad name." I said it on your previous thread, You have preferences meet in clubs is one, so do they not to meet in clubs, the only folk who can answer why is the person who you're corresponding with others are just guessing. Look for those who include your preferences rather than those that exclude,. It seems a lot of folk spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure out why others don't meet their preferences when there are lots more who do, me I concentrate on those that include its a far better use of my time and far more productive. | |||
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"Considering we had a good thread going on but I couldn't reply because it's been closed I started another. If you want to read the entire thread search for "why are people so afraid of clubs) Thank you to the lovely lady for defending me but I don't need defending, I can handle myself - which anyone who knows me can vouch for. And a guy with an attitude like that wouldn't speak to me like that in person. . First of all I would never meet a guy with that sort of attitude so him not wanting to spend any money to meet me is no loss to me . Lol. And to all those saying a social is cheaper I have already said multiple times that it has NON GENDERED PRICING STRUCTURE. which means guys pay the same as women. Soooo. I'm sure I'll have to repeat that a few more times. I appreciate everyone's reply (even the not so nice comments) and I'm glad some people are showing what it's actually like for women on fab. And guys really wonder why men get a bad name. Secondly to all the guys who feel they have been let down by women I apologise for that. I think I've just come to the conclusion that both men and women can be arse holes. Without any reason for it. It was a woman coming out with those comments, that's what shocked me. Yeah it did me as well but to be honest as we know women can be bitchy lol. Thank you though for your lovely comments If you knew it was a woman why the need to say.. "And guys really wonder why men get a bad name." I said it on your previous thread, You have preferences meet in clubs is one, so do they not to meet in clubs, the only folk who can answer why is the person who you're corresponding with others are just guessing. Look for those who include your preferences rather than those that exclude,. It seems a lot of folk spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure out why others don't meet their preferences when there are lots more who do, me I concentrate on those that include its a far better use of my time and far more productive. " To answer your question it was women and guys who attacked me in previous thread. I haven't said anything unreasonable. Men also don't know the stuff women go through on this site. The amount of messages you get is unbelievable and only maybe 1 percent of those messages are decent. So I think I have every reason to make that comment. I'm not saying every guy and I've apologised to those men who have been through similar things with women. As I'm sure my verifications will show you I'm just a down to earth person. I don't judge people just because they're a guy. It'd be nice to meet some like minded guys who want the same thing as me so hopefully this thread will achieve that | |||
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"It's not like I'm saying YOU HAVE TO MEET ME AT A CLUB. I'm not demanding it. I say I only meet at clubs for x reasons which I don't think is unreasonable I think a lot of people have warped views of clubs and like I said previously I would never ask someone to do something they weren't comfortable with. I don't EXPECT anything. Just as people shouldn't expect me to change my rules to meet them It's not like I'm dwelling on it I just thought it might be a good conversation. I have also met a few people who said they've never been and absolutely loved it. Life is there to enjoy. " I think that your way of meeting is practical and safe. If they don't want to attend a club, that's their problem not yours. However, I do think that people have the wrong impression of clubs, especially single guys who think that they all cost the earth. In fact a club is likely to be much cheaper than a hotel and mist are far from sleazy. If I were meeting single men, I would do so at a club. | |||
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"Only some people are afraid of going to a club. They are the ones that comment on here. The ones that do go simply get on with it and don’t comment. While I was a little apprehensive the first time, this was outweighed by the excitement and the wish to do so. Once inside you soon relax and realise you are among some of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet. All likeminded and there for the same reason. Happy swinging to all" Some people aren’t scared or apprehensive they just don’t want to, it’s not my thing at all one bit. | |||
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"Only some people are afraid of going to a club. They are the ones that comment on here. The ones that do go simply get on with it and don’t comment. While I was a little apprehensive the first time, this was outweighed by the excitement and the wish to do so. Once inside you soon relax and realise you are among some of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet. All likeminded and there for the same reason. Happy swinging to all Some people aren’t scared or apprehensive they just don’t want to, it’s not my thing at all one bit. " Same, I'm not scared, it just holds no appeal for me whatsoever. | |||
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"Only some people are afraid of going to a club. They are the ones that comment on here. The ones that do go simply get on with it and don’t comment. While I was a little apprehensive the first time, this was outweighed by the excitement and the wish to do so. Once inside you soon relax and realise you are among some of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet. All likeminded and there for the same reason. Happy swinging to all Some people aren’t scared or apprehensive they just don’t want to, it’s not my thing at all one bit. " Can i ask if you have been to a couple of club's, or are do they not appeal ? | |||
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"Only some people are afraid of going to a club. They are the ones that comment on here. The ones that do go simply get on with it and don’t comment. While I was a little apprehensive the first time, this was outweighed by the excitement and the wish to do so. Once inside you soon relax and realise you are among some of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet. All likeminded and there for the same reason. Happy swinging to all Some people aren’t scared or apprehensive they just don’t want to, it’s not my thing at all one bit. Same, I'm not scared, it just holds no appeal for me whatsoever. " They hold no appeal. That is fine, we all like different things. Can I ask if you have been to any club's to give them a try or are you put off by what you have heard ? | |||
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"Only some people are afraid of going to a club. They are the ones that comment on here. The ones that do go simply get on with it and don’t comment. While I was a little apprehensive the first time, this was outweighed by the excitement and the wish to do so. Once inside you soon relax and realise you are among some of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet. All likeminded and there for the same reason. Happy swinging to all Some people aren’t scared or apprehensive they just don’t want to, it’s not my thing at all one bit. Can i ask if you have been to a couple of club's, or are do they not appeal ? " I’m just quite private and not an exhibitionist prefer to have sex in a more intimate setting. | |||
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"Only some people are afraid of going to a club. They are the ones that comment on here. The ones that do go simply get on with it and don’t comment. While I was a little apprehensive the first time, this was outweighed by the excitement and the wish to do so. Once inside you soon relax and realise you are among some of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet. All likeminded and there for the same reason. Happy swinging to all Some people aren’t scared or apprehensive they just don’t want to, it’s not my thing at all one bit. Can i ask if you have been to a couple of club's, or are do they not appeal ? I’m just quite private and not an exhibitionist prefer to have sex in a more intimate setting. " I’m still yet to visit a club more apprehensive about turning up as a single male then anything | |||
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"Only some people are afraid of going to a club. They are the ones that comment on here. The ones that do go simply get on with it and don’t comment. While I was a little apprehensive the first time, this was outweighed by the excitement and the wish to do so. Once inside you soon relax and realise you are among some of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet. All likeminded and there for the same reason. Happy swinging to all Some people aren’t scared or apprehensive they just don’t want to, it’s not my thing at all one bit. Can i ask if you have been to a couple of club's, or are do they not appeal ? I’m just quite private and not an exhibitionist prefer to have sex in a more intimate setting. I’m still yet to visit a club more apprehensive about turning up as a single male then anything " Have to say as a fellow straight single bloke you're likely to be very popular with women compared to most of us as long as you have a personality to match the rest of the package. While the majority of us will be ignored for the most part a good looking guy is highly likely to be approached by single women and couples. You won't be nervous for long - go for it buddy! | |||
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"Considering we had a good thread going on but I couldn't reply because it's been closed I started another. If you want to read the entire thread search for "why are people so afraid of clubs) Thank you to the lovely lady for defending me but I don't need defending, I can handle myself - which anyone who knows me can vouch for. And a guy with an attitude like that wouldn't speak to me like that in person. . First of all I would never meet a guy with that sort of attitude so him not wanting to spend any money to meet me is no loss to me . Lol. And to all those saying a social is cheaper I have already said multiple times that it has NON GENDERED PRICING STRUCTURE. which means guys pay the same as women. Soooo. I'm sure I'll have to repeat that a few more times. I appreciate everyone's reply (even the not so nice comments) and I'm glad some people are showing what it's actually like for women on fab. And guys really wonder why men get a bad name. Secondly to all the guys who feel they have been let down by women I apologise for that. I think I've just come to the conclusion that both men and women can be arse holes. Without any reason for it. It was a woman coming out with those comments, that's what shocked me. Yeah it did me as well but to be honest as we know women can be bitchy lol. Thank you though for your lovely comments If you knew it was a woman why the need to say.. "And guys really wonder why men get a bad name." I said it on your previous thread, You have preferences meet in clubs is one, so do they not to meet in clubs, the only folk who can answer why is the person who you're corresponding with others are just guessing. Look for those who include your preferences rather than those that exclude,. It seems a lot of folk spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure out why others don't meet their preferences when there are lots more who do, me I concentrate on those that include its a far better use of my time and far more productive. To answer your question it was women and guys who attacked me in previous thread. I haven't said anything unreasonable. Men also don't know the stuff women go through on this site. The amount of messages you get is unbelievable and only maybe 1 percent of those messages are decent. So I think I have every reason to make that comment. I'm not saying every guy and I've apologised to those men who have been through similar things with women. As I'm sure my verifications will show you I'm just a down to earth person. I don't judge people just because they're a guy. It'd be nice to meet some like minded guys who want the same thing as me so hopefully this thread will achieve that " Attacked.. by men and women on the previous thread really, I read the threead and attacked wouldn't be a word I'd have used. Some Guys offered their reasons why not, attacked really not what I've read.., a lady on the thread offered her opinion which seemed to cause folk offence , attacked you? if you say so. Your op was pretty clear certainly the other lady who posted on both threads seemed to think or was of the same thinking it was about the first thread... Ahhh ok ..I now know the comment about guys was just a general swipe, pretty sure the daily swipe at single guys thread will be along in a moment I have a solution to you receiving 99% non decent messages use the site toolz to prevent unwanted messages and be the hunter be proactive message guys whose interests are similar, effort in reward out. Is often said. | |||
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"Messaging people who match my interests does not mean I will like them. just because someone has the same interests as you does not automatically mean you will have things in common. And get along. But yes someone has already suggested putting filters on. However I don't like to because the type I normally go for cannot be defined. It's not any one group of people. And I am looking for people on a one to one basis just not for the initial meeting. Just to clarify. I also have a broad area of interest. From vanilla sex to bdsm. Which you would know if you had read my profile " That’s fine but don’t you think by narrowing down just meeting in clubs makes it very low in regards to men who will meet you? As suggested and said previously a lot of men and woman just DONT like clubs, you do that’s fine, some men don’t. Not because they are scared or skint just because they don’t want to, as I wouldn’t want to as a single woman. | |||
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"Having read most of the content above and both been here and to clubs as singles we can comment from all aspects F,M and FM couple infact we both first met face to face in a club. The OP mentioned that some don't want to go to a club to meet through fear possibly "reluctant" might have been a better word to use and we both totally get her reasoning for her choice - actually it's a good and safe place to meet for a single lady or couple removes the need to accommodate or pay for a hotel plus provides a social environment to be able to talk openly about sex and swinging (can't do that in a busy public place) plus nobody ever need to get the house spick and span or have issues with giving out addresses We as a couple would probably choose a club as our most preferred place to meet a M,MF or F if we had the choice, Teddy would be far more comfortable with me going to a club on my own to meet a single guy than most other options To be fair some of the comments from the single male profiles in this thread probably even give more reason to meet in a club for a single lady. Men in clubs have more social pressure to behave and bad behaviour usually isn't tolerated Top advice for men attending clubs is to be as social as possible, make an effort to talk to people. Helping your self is a big no no for any gender especially men and following people around is creepy and will put people off, sitting in a corner on your own is not going to do much to inspire people to play with you. Happy clubbing " Great and interesting perspectives. The only observation for me is the contradiction of sociability. On the one hand not being sociable will get you nowhere, but often even if you are (in the correct way) you'll encounter a lot of hostility, even just by saying hi. Lots of sine women and couples will glare at you if you so much as smile at them. Difficult to win in some ways, but something does have to give to achieve anything I'd agree. | |||
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" Great and interesting perspectives. The only observation for me is the contradiction of sociability. On the one hand not being sociable will get you nowhere, but often even if you are (in the correct way) you'll encounter a lot of hostility, even just by saying hi. Lots of sine women and couples will glare at you if you so much as smile at them. Difficult to win in some ways, but something does have to give to achieve anything I'd agree. " Well can't really say that has been the experience for either of us as singles or as a couple. Quite often our experience is to be followed around or be rudely interrupted with little attempt to strike up a conversation more so of late? Admittingly a very high proportion of swingers don't wish to play with single guy's but sometimes this is down to the general behaviour of single guy's can't say that we have experienced a frosty reception to "Hi there how are you" or other polite and friendly chat but we're well versed on experiences of exactly how not to do it by single guy's! Recently we have experienced 3 pretty shocking examples of how not to do it in a club 1St) we both walk into a play room with a massive play bed quite well into the night it's not a busy room we position ourselves dead centre as not to have our fun spoilt by the "space invaders" one guy sees us follows us to the door and soon as we start playing walks up close as possible and says "do I have to wear a condom" He got ignored the rest of the night 2nd) we are both chatting to people separately near the end of the club night and guy walks up to Vixen cuts in and asking with a hand jestures to her body says "are you sharing that or what?" she said "No!" and he left in a strop 3Rd) guy had been following us around and we had been ignoring him after trying to butt in cold to a conversation between us and squeezing next to Vixen on the sofa, later on we are just starting to play with each other and he sits down on the bed and reached over and just groped Vixen - needless to say that instantly didn't go down well he got a telling off and was nearly kicked out plus it killed it for us both Can't stress enough how single men need to be polite, friendly and respectful both online, in person and in clubs and this is coming from a once single guy swinger who really feels like the sides been let down not by the few but the majority of late Come on boys change the culture by putting the footwork in a just been nice Teddy | |||
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"Messaging people who match my interests does not mean I will like them. just because someone has the same interests as you does not automatically mean you will have things in common. And get along. But yes someone has already suggested putting filters on. However I don't like to because the type I normally go for cannot be defined. It's not any one group of people. And I am looking for people on a one to one basis just not for the initial meeting. Just to clarify. I also have a broad area of interest. From vanilla sex to bdsm. Which you would know if you had read my profile That’s fine but don’t you think by narrowing down just meeting in clubs makes it very low in regards to men who will meet you? As suggested and said previously a lot of men and woman just DONT like clubs, you do that’s fine, some men don’t. Not because they are scared or skint just because they don’t want to, as I wouldn’t want to as a single woman. " Why is the OP request to meet up in a club in low regards to men? Surely it's her right to her own personal choice on how she choses to meet? And the guys choice to accept or choose not to? Just as equally the same thing as to those like yourself who don't wish to go to club on your own it's fine it's your personal choice no issues there either On the other hand what is hard to understand is how alot of people can be so negative on something that they have no experience of in the first place? | |||
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" Great and interesting perspectives. The only observation for me is the contradiction of sociability. On the one hand not being sociable will get you nowhere, but often even if you are (in the correct way) you'll encounter a lot of hostility, even just by saying hi. Lots of sine women and couples will glare at you if you so much as smile at them. Difficult to win in some ways, but something does have to give to achieve anything I'd agree. Well can't really say that has been the experience for either of us as singles or as a couple. Quite often our experience is to be followed around or be rudely interrupted with little attempt to strike up a conversation more so of late? Admittingly a very high proportion of swingers don't wish to play with single guy's but sometimes this is down to the general behaviour of single guy's can't say that we have experienced a frosty reception to "Hi there how are you" or other polite and friendly chat but we're well versed on experiences of exactly how not to do it by single guy's! Recently we have experienced 3 pretty shocking examples of how not to do it in a club 1St) we both walk into a play room with a massive play bed quite well into the night it's not a busy room we position ourselves dead centre as not to have our fun spoilt by the "space invaders" one guy sees us follows us to the door and soon as we start playing walks up close as possible and says "do I have to wear a condom" He got ignored the rest of the night 2nd) we are both chatting to people separately near the end of the club night and guy walks up to Vixen cuts in and asking with a hand jestures to her body says "are you sharing that or what?" she said "No!" and he left in a strop 3Rd) guy had been following us around and we had been ignoring him after trying to butt in cold to a conversation between us and squeezing next to Vixen on the sofa, later on we are just starting to play with each other and he sits down on the bed and reached over and just groped Vixen - needless to say that instantly didn't go down well he got a telling off and was nearly kicked out plus it killed it for us both Can't stress enough how single men need to be polite, friendly and respectful both online, in person and in clubs and this is coming from a once single guy swinger who really feels like the sides been let down not by the few but the majority of late Come on boys change the culture by putting the footwork in a just been nice Teddy " I really don’t get why this happens.... it’s baffling - in every part of life it’s better if you’re polite and respectful, what changes in a club?? | |||
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"Messaging people who match my interests does not mean I will like them. just because someone has the same interests as you does not automatically mean you will have things in common. And get along. But yes someone has already suggested putting filters on. However I don't like to because the type I normally go for cannot be defined. It's not any one group of people. And I am looking for people on a one to one basis just not for the initial meeting. Just to clarify. I also have a broad area of interest. From vanilla sex to bdsm. Which you would know if you had read my profile That’s fine but don’t you think by narrowing down just meeting in clubs makes it very low in regards to men who will meet you? As suggested and said previously a lot of men and woman just DONT like clubs, you do that’s fine, some men don’t. Not because they are scared or skint just because they don’t want to, as I wouldn’t want to as a single woman. Why is the OP request to meet up in a club in low regards to men? Surely it's her right to her own personal choice on how she choses to meet? And the guys choice to accept or choose not to? Just as equally the same thing as to those like yourself who don't wish to go to club on your own it's fine it's your personal choice no issues there either On the other hand what is hard to understand is how alot of people can be so negative on something that they have no experience of in the first place? " I’ve had plenty of experience of being ignored, avoided, and snapped at with “We’re not interested in single guys!” in clubs. So much so, I won’t go as a single guy any more. | |||
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"We’ve been clubbing since March and normally once a fortnight. In that time we have found two guys at a club who were really nice. Chatted normally and seemed like really nice guys. Some others just stood there staring or in one case just got on the bed we were on. A quick telling them to fuck off seemed to work. But for the majority of couples swinging is about swapping with other couples. So guys for these people are surplus to requirements. We’ve had guys before think just because we have actually spoke to them that means play is on the cards for them. The successful guys at clubs know how to approach and talk to people correctly. Once you learn that you’ll be a success. " Pretty much exactly it in a nut shell | |||
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"We’ve been clubbing since March and normally once a fortnight. In that time we have found two guys at a club who were really nice. Chatted normally and seemed like really nice guys. Some others just stood there staring or in one case just got on the bed we were on. A quick telling them to fuck off seemed to work. But for the majority of couples swinging is about swapping with other couples. So guys for these people are surplus to requirements. We’ve had guys before think just because we have actually spoke to them that means play is on the cards for them. The successful guys at clubs know how to approach and talk to people correctly. Once you learn that you’ll be a success. " You got it in one; clubs are for couples. The difference between going in as a single guy, to going in as a couple, is unbelievable. I’ll only go in with a lady friend (or friends) now | |||
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"We’ve been clubbing since March and normally once a fortnight. In that time we have found two guys at a club who were really nice. Chatted normally and seemed like really nice guys. Some others just stood there staring or in one case just got on the bed we were on. A quick telling them to fuck off seemed to work. But for the majority of couples swinging is about swapping with other couples. So guys for these people are surplus to requirements. We’ve had guys before think just because we have actually spoke to them that means play is on the cards for them. The successful guys at clubs know how to approach and talk to people correctly. Once you learn that you’ll be a success. You got it in one; clubs are for couples. The difference between going in as a single guy, to going in as a couple, is unbelievable. I’ll only go in with a lady friend (or friends) now " Spot on - the difference is massive! | |||
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"Having read most of the content above and both been here and to clubs as singles we can comment from all aspects F,M and FM couple infact we both first met face to face in a club. The OP mentioned that some don't want to go to a club to meet through fear possibly "reluctant" might have been a better word to use and we both totally get her reasoning for her choice - actually it's a good and safe place to meet for a single lady or couple removes the need to accommodate or pay for a hotel plus provides a social environment to be able to talk openly about sex and swinging (can't do that in a busy public place) plus nobody ever need to get the house spick and span or have issues with giving out addresses We as a couple would probably choose a club as our most preferred place to meet a M,MF or F if we had the choice, Teddy would be far more comfortable with me going to a club on my own to meet a single guy than most other options To be fair some of the comments from the single male profiles in this thread probably even give more reason to meet in a club for a single lady. Men in clubs have more social pressure to behave and bad behaviour usually isn't tolerated Top advice for men attending clubs is to be as social as possible, make an effort to talk to people. Helping your self is a big no no for any gender especially men and following people around is creepy and will put people off, sitting in a corner on your own is not going to do much to inspire people to play with you. Happy clubbing Great and interesting perspectives. The only observation for me is the contradiction of sociability. On the one hand not being sociable will get you nowhere, but often even if you are (in the correct way) you'll encounter a lot of hostility, even just by saying hi. Lots of sine women and couples will glare at you if you so much as smile at them. Difficult to win in some ways, but something does have to give to achieve anything I'd agree. " Personally if a single guy came up to me and said hi and actually tried to make conversation I would not be hostile towards them. But maybe that's just me. I do get put off by people who just follow you around and don't say anything or the guys or couples who just sit in a corner. If you expect people to come to you that's never going to work | |||
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"Messaging people who match my interests does not mean I will like them. just because someone has the same interests as you does not automatically mean you will have things in common. And get along. But yes someone has already suggested putting filters on. However I don't like to because the type I normally go for cannot be defined. It's not any one group of people. And I am looking for people on a one to one basis just not for the initial meeting. Just to clarify. I also have a broad area of interest. From vanilla sex to bdsm. Which you would know if you had read my profile That’s fine but don’t you think by narrowing down just meeting in clubs makes it very low in regards to men who will meet you? As suggested and said previously a lot of men and woman just DONT like clubs, you do that’s fine, some men don’t. Not because they are scared or skint just because they don’t want to, as I wouldn’t want to as a single woman. Why is the OP request to meet up in a club in low regards to men? Surely it's her right to her own personal choice on how she choses to meet? And the guys choice to accept or choose not to? Just as equally the same thing as to those like yourself who don't wish to go to club on your own it's fine it's your personal choice no issues there either On the other hand what is hard to understand is how alot of people can be so negative on something that they have no experience of in the first place? I’ve had plenty of experience of being ignored, avoided, and snapped at with “We’re not interested in single guys!” in clubs. So much so, I won’t go as a single guy any more. " I agree, some men are treated horribly in clubs. I don't understand why those couples don't go on couples nights. | |||
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"Too much emphasis on fucking." | |||
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"Too much emphasis on fucking." Try somewhere like xtasia they have a dance floor, and more of a night club feel. | |||
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"Messaging people who match my interests does not mean I will like them. just because someone has the same interests as you does not automatically mean you will have things in common. And get along. But yes someone has already suggested putting filters on. However I don't like to because the type I normally go for cannot be defined. It's not any one group of people. And I am looking for people on a one to one basis just not for the initial meeting. Just to clarify. I also have a broad area of interest. From vanilla sex to bdsm. Which you would know if you had read my profile That’s fine but don’t you think by narrowing down just meeting in clubs makes it very low in regards to men who will meet you? As suggested and said previously a lot of men and woman just DONT like clubs, you do that’s fine, some men don’t. Not because they are scared or skint just because they don’t want to, as I wouldn’t want to as a single woman. Why is the OP request to meet up in a club in low regards to men? Surely it's her right to her own personal choice on how she choses to meet? And the guys choice to accept or choose not to? Just as equally the same thing as to those like yourself who don't wish to go to club on your own it's fine it's your personal choice no issues there either On the other hand what is hard to understand is how alot of people can be so negative on something that they have no experience of in the first place? I’ve had plenty of experience of being ignored, avoided, and snapped at with “We’re not interested in single guys!” in clubs. So much so, I won’t go as a single guy any more. I agree, some men are treated horribly in clubs. I don't understand why those couples don't go on couples nights. " Elitism. They’re ‘real swingers’ dont’cha know........ | |||
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"Messaging people who match my interests does not mean I will like them. just because someone has the same interests as you does not automatically mean you will have things in common. And get along. But yes someone has already suggested putting filters on. However I don't like to because the type I normally go for cannot be defined. It's not any one group of people. And I am looking for people on a one to one basis just not for the initial meeting. Just to clarify. I also have a broad area of interest. From vanilla sex to bdsm. Which you would know if you had read my profile That’s fine but don’t you think by narrowing down just meeting in clubs makes it very low in regards to men who will meet you? As suggested and said previously a lot of men and woman just DONT like clubs, you do that’s fine, some men don’t. Not because they are scared or skint just because they don’t want to, as I wouldn’t want to as a single woman. Why is the OP request to meet up in a club in low regards to men? Surely it's her right to her own personal choice on how she choses to meet? And the guys choice to accept or choose not to? Just as equally the same thing as to those like yourself who don't wish to go to club on your own it's fine it's your personal choice no issues there either On the other hand what is hard to understand is how alot of people can be so negative on something that they have no experience of in the first place? I’ve had plenty of experience of being ignored, avoided, and snapped at with “We’re not interested in single guys!” in clubs. So much so, I won’t go as a single guy any more. I agree, some men are treated horribly in clubs. I don't understand why those couples don't go on couples nights. Elitism. They’re ‘real swingers’ dont’cha know........ " | |||
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"I have had a few pissy replies on both threads about me wanting to meet at clubs and why people think that I don't have a right to dictate how I want to meet people. But I'm not saying that people are wrong for not wanting to meet at clubs that's their choice. I'm just saying for a variety of reasons I find it safer for me to do so. What's so wrong with that? Not saying you HAVE to meet at a club and as I've said on many occasions I'm not the type of person to make people do what they don't want to do. I'm just saying that I only meet there and that's my terms. Take it or leave it " We are the same and have spoken to many people in clubs who do the same simply because arranging meets from the Internet just doesn't work for them. | |||
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"We’ve been clubbing since March and normally once a fortnight. In that time we have found two guys at a club who were really nice. Chatted normally and seemed like really nice guys. Some others just stood there staring or in one case just got on the bed we were on. A quick telling them to fuck off seemed to work. But for the majority of couples swinging is about swapping with other couples. So guys for these people are surplus to requirements. We’ve had guys before think just because we have actually spoke to them that means play is on the cards for them. The successful guys at clubs know how to approach and talk to people correctly. Once you learn that you’ll be a success. You got it in one; clubs are for couples. The difference between going in as a single guy, to going in as a couple, is unbelievable. I’ll only go in with a lady friend (or friends) now " I Really don't agree with these comments been true I was a single male on fab before I met vixen. Going to a club really changed things for the better in my opinion. Yes just like the rest of fab there is a majority who are looking for couples/single females you just have to respect that and be openly clarify that it's perfectly fine and if it's still OK to be social? never experienced any hostility or kick back for that in any club or at a few swingers festivals it actually gave me a good reputation? I avoided prowling about looking to get laid like all the pestering and creepy men and viewed it as purely a social and let things happen if they were going to? After all nobody in a club is guaranteed play no matter what gender remember that. Over the years I have been approached by couples who don't want to meet single guy's but because I was viewed as friendly, respectful and genuine and always made an effort talking to both half's. I have been approached to get that box ticked off their list so it just goes to show that behaviour and respect pays off in the end. Yes it's not easy been a single guy in a club but it is far easier than online! Your ability to show your genuine and a sense of your personality would take ages in message ping pong yet five minutes infront of someone is a far easier and better way of doing it | |||
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"We’ve been clubbing since March and normally once a fortnight. In that time we have found two guys at a club who were really nice. Chatted normally and seemed like really nice guys. Some others just stood there staring or in one case just got on the bed we were on. A quick telling them to fuck off seemed to work. But for the majority of couples swinging is about swapping with other couples. So guys for these people are surplus to requirements. We’ve had guys before think just because we have actually spoke to them that means play is on the cards for them. The successful guys at clubs know how to approach and talk to people correctly. Once you learn that you’ll be a success. You got it in one; clubs are for couples. The difference between going in as a single guy, to going in as a couple, is unbelievable. I’ll only go in with a lady friend (or friends) now I Really don't agree with these comments been true I was a single male on fab before I met vixen. Going to a club really changed things for the better in my opinion. Yes just like the rest of fab there is a majority who are looking for couples/single females you just have to respect that and be openly clarify that it's perfectly fine and if it's still OK to be social? never experienced any hostility or kick back for that in any club or at a few swingers festivals it actually gave me a good reputation? I avoided prowling about looking to get laid like all the pestering and creepy men and viewed it as purely a social and let things happen if they were going to? After all nobody in a club is guaranteed play no matter what gender remember that. Over the years I have been approached by couples who don't want to meet single guy's but because I was viewed as friendly, respectful and genuine and always made an effort talking to both half's. I have been approached to get that box ticked off their list so it just goes to show that behaviour and respect pays off in the end. Yes it's not easy been a single guy in a club but it is far easier than online! Your ability to show your genuine and a sense of your personality would take ages in message ping pong yet five minutes infront of someone is a far easier and better way of doing it " The great thing about a public forum, is sharing people’s experiences. There’s no ‘one size fits all’ in the swinging world, but speaking personally, using Fab to meet likeminded genuine people for fun, has been monumentally easier, cheaper, and far more reliable, than venturing in to the club scene as a single guy. I wish you continued success though | |||
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"Why wouldn't anyone pay to go to a club??. If they are genuinely serious about there desires...and it filters out the arseholes just looking to please there own needs. one would put his hand in his pocket surely?... like any hobby men have.... costs and I know which one I'd prefer....to golf or fishing... " To be fair that's easy to say as a single female who will either get in cheaply, or in some cases free. While having never had an issue paying personally it can be hugely expensive for a single guy, only to spend the entire evening being given a stiff ignoring to (and I'm not talking about guys with no manners or social etiquette here). Going as a single guy often makes the dynamics very different to actually having people there to socialise with, or to go with together. While it's true to some extent that it can be a case of 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' its also entirely possible to get a lot of couples and single females who will glare or sneer no matter how good you are. I think it's perfectly understandable that some guys are reticent. | |||
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"We go to a club and we have had good times and I personally had a horrific experience on NYE. I can’t lie I’m not sure I’ll return that club as much as I love it but I’ll go to another club. The whole meet thing is tough full stop I think , you can meet and feel a bit weird about it etc but just style it out lol x" Really you shouldn’t let the people who caused whatever happened to effect which club you go to, NYE is a night that frankly brings out the worst in people, too much drink, too much expectation. | |||
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"We go to a club and we have had good times and I personally had a horrific experience on NYE. I can’t lie I’m not sure I’ll return that club as much as I love it but I’ll go to another club. The whole meet thing is tough full stop I think , you can meet and feel a bit weird about it etc but just style it out lol x Really you shouldn’t let the people who caused whatever happened to effect which club you go to, NYE is a night that frankly brings out the worst in people, too much drink, too much expectation." Yes I agree but I’d be nervous if I saw him again tbh it frightened me a little | |||
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"If they were more reasonably priced for single Men I’d go. £70 quid for just a ticket is overpriced but there will be others who find that fair. Odds on finding a single woman at such an event is also low" . I tend to go to OP4F depending what night I go I pay between £30 to £50 except on a Saturday where it is £70.We don’t have a lot of choice in London unless we choose to travel further a field but when you factor in the cost of petrol or train ticket or a hotel room then to me £70 is not that bad.I agree £70 can be viewed as overpriced and the chance of finding a single lady are not great. | |||
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"This is why I wish there were clubs in cornwall be so much easier " There is lots of people from all over Cornwall in secrets usually if that helps? Probably the nearest club for you and is very popular | |||
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"This is why I wish there were clubs in cornwall be so much easier There is lots of people from all over Cornwall in secrets usually if that helps? Probably the nearest club for you and is very popular " Thank you will have to have a look | |||
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"Why wouldn't anyone pay to go to a club??. If they are genuinely serious about there desires...and it filters out the arseholes just looking to please there own needs. one would put his hand in his pocket surely?... like any hobby men have.... costs and I know which one I'd prefer....to golf or fishing... " Why wouldn't they..errr .. choice we all have the same choices yes please or no thanks. So folk that don't follow your idea aren't serious. Wow, hadn't realised you 'had' to go to clubs to be "Genuinely serious". hobby costs.. you make it sound like a brothel. | |||
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"It’s good that many men are scared of clubs. Too many of them in a club ruin it. " Lots of creeping around, prowling one's hanging around the play rooms certainly change the atmosphere but social, polite, well mannered non pushy ones don't in our opinion. But this is just our take on this | |||
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"Why wouldn't anyone pay to go to a club??. If they are genuinely serious about there desires...and it filters out the arseholes just looking to please there own needs. one would put his hand in his pocket surely?... like any hobby men have.... costs and I know which one I'd prefer....to golf or fishing... " I regularly pay £55 for a day rate hotel room, to share some ‘sexy time’ with my friends To be fair, some people like to split the cost on the day, others she will book one time, I book the next. All the people I meet know I am genuine, and not tight-fisted. We have the room from 9am right through to 5pm, all to ourselves (however many of us there are on the day lol), with nice clean sheets, on a proper bed you can have a snuggle in afterwards, an en-suite, and free use of their spa/leisure facilities too. Or I could go to a club. In all honesty, if my club experiences didn’t make me feel like a second-class citizen, I would have gone more | |||
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"We’ve been clubbing since March and normally once a fortnight. In that time we have found two guys at a club who were really nice. Chatted normally and seemed like really nice guys. Some others just stood there staring or in one case just got on the bed we were on. A quick telling them to fuck off seemed to work. But for the majority of couples swinging is about swapping with other couples. So guys for these people are surplus to requirements. We’ve had guys before think just because we have actually spoke to them that means play is on the cards for them. The successful guys at clubs know how to approach and talk to people correctly. Once you learn that you’ll be a success. You got it in one; clubs are for couples. The difference between going in as a single guy, to going in as a couple, is unbelievable. I’ll only go in with a lady friend (or friends) now I Really don't agree with these comments been true I was a single male on fab before I met vixen. Going to a club really changed things for the better in my opinion. Yes just like the rest of fab there is a majority who are looking for couples/single females you just have to respect that and be openly clarify that it's perfectly fine and if it's still OK to be social? never experienced any hostility or kick back for that in any club or at a few swingers festivals it actually gave me a good reputation? I avoided prowling about looking to get laid like all the pestering and creepy men and viewed it as purely a social and let things happen if they were going to? After all nobody in a club is guaranteed play no matter what gender remember that. Over the years I have been approached by couples who don't want to meet single guy's but because I was viewed as friendly, respectful and genuine and always made an effort talking to both half's. I have been approached to get that box ticked off their list so it just goes to show that behaviour and respect pays off in the end. Yes it's not easy been a single guy in a club but it is far easier than online! Your ability to show your genuine and a sense of your personality would take ages in message ping pong yet five minutes infront of someone is a far easier and better way of doing it " Totally agree with you, it is so much easier to decide you like someone when you see them. We have met people at Clubs, not played but kept in touch and then met up another day. Clubs can be anything and everything you want from them. But the key thing is to make eye contact, smile, be open, talk to people (& listen!). Not everyone will be interested, you won’t be interested in everyone either, but you will be more likely to have a good time if you interact | |||
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"Why are people afraid of clubs? For various reasons I’d guess. Anxiety, shyness, bad experiences probs 1000 other reasons aswell. If people don’t want to meet in a club that’s their choice. And if you only want to meet in a club that’s your choice. There is no right or wrong way with swinging. Everyone has their own way of doing things. I’ve been to a couple of clubs, I felt a bit uncomfortable and couldn’t fully relax, I did go as a single guy both times, so I would be reluctant to do the same again, if a woman I messaged said she only met in clubs, I’d wish her well and move on. " This is the point, if someone doesn't want to go to a club that's fine, it's also fine for people to only meet at clubs. | |||
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"Why are people afraid of clubs? For various reasons I’d guess. Anxiety, shyness, bad experiences probs 1000 other reasons aswell. If people don’t want to meet in a club that’s their choice. And if you only want to meet in a club that’s your choice. There is no right or wrong way with swinging. Everyone has their own way of doing things. I’ve been to a couple of clubs, I felt a bit uncomfortable and couldn’t fully relax, I did go as a single guy both times, so I would be reluctant to do the same again, if a woman I messaged said she only met in clubs, I’d wish her well and move on. This is the point, if someone doesn't want to go to a club that's fine, it's also fine for people to only meet at clubs. " And I agree. | |||
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"Considering we had a good thread going on but I couldn't reply because it's been closed I started another. If you want to read the entire thread search for "why are people so afraid of clubs) Thank you to the lovely lady for defending me but I don't need defending, I can handle myself - which anyone who knows me can vouch for. And a guy with an attitude like that wouldn't speak to me like that in person. . First of all I would never meet a guy with that sort of attitude so him not wanting to spend any money to meet me is no loss to me . Lol. And to all those saying a social is cheaper I have already said multiple times that it has NON GENDERED PRICING STRUCTURE. which means guys pay the same as women. Soooo. I'm sure I'll have to repeat that a few more times. I appreciate everyone's reply (even the not so nice comments) and I'm glad some people are showing what it's actually like for women on fab. And guys really wonder why men get a bad name. Secondly to all the guys who feel they have been let down by women I apologise for that. I think I've just come to the conclusion that both men and women can be arse holes. Without any reason for it. " price, Let down.. Nervous List grows.. | |||
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"Why are people afraid of clubs? For various reasons I’d guess. Anxiety, shyness, bad experiences probs 1000 other reasons aswell. If people don’t want to meet in a club that’s their choice. And if you only want to meet in a club that’s your choice. There is no right or wrong way with swinging. Everyone has their own way of doing things. I’ve been to a couple of clubs, I felt a bit uncomfortable and couldn’t fully relax, I did go as a single guy both times, so I would be reluctant to do the same again, if a woman I messaged said she only met in clubs, I’d wish her well and move on. This is the point, if someone doesn't want to go to a club that's fine, it's also fine for people to only meet at clubs. " The OP was asking why people didn't want to meet in clubs though | |||
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"I was so worried about being to fat to go to a club I felt sick walking in but had an amazing night and would try anywhere now xx" You look fantastic chick. Bet you was inundated with offers x | |||
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"Just to clarify from the pissy comments (and if you had read the comments and original thread) I have said on numerous occasions that I don't have issues meeting people. Considering the amount of verifications I have I didn't think that'd be hard to understand. But also I'm not saying people have to meet me at clubs. Which I have said multiple times also. I'm just asking the reasons why. Not saying either answer is right or wrong and not calling anyone out for it. Just to clarify (again and again) " There’s been a few responses that have given you reasons why. Some of us find it uncomfortable, anxiety, nerves. There’s endless reasons. | |||
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"Just to clarify from the pissy comments (and if you had read the comments and original thread) I have said on numerous occasions that I don't have issues meeting people. Considering the amount of verifications I have I didn't think that'd be hard to understand. But also I'm not saying people have to meet me at clubs. Which I have said multiple times also. I'm just asking the reasons why. Not saying either answer is right or wrong and not calling anyone out for it. Just to clarify (again and again) " Having read both threads can i ask if its the planned private orgies or the public nights where the guys that previously seemed interested then didnt attend ? | |||
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"Just to clarify from the pissy comments (and if you had read the comments and original thread) I have said on numerous occasions that I don't have issues meeting people. Considering the amount of verifications I have I didn't think that'd be hard to understand. But also I'm not saying people have to meet me at clubs. Which I have said multiple times also. I'm just asking the reasons why. Not saying either answer is right or wrong and not calling anyone out for it. Just to clarify (again and again) Having read both threads can i ask if its the planned private orgies or the public nights where the guys that previously seemed interested then didnt attend ? " Both. Well one to one meets at a club in a private room Then I've tried to arrange mini group play (and 1 guy showed up - not much group play happening there). I know it's mainly to do with anxiety for people at a club or cost but the place I go is £10 entry for guys so can't see that it was cost. Unless they are really tight . My issue is that I might just need to break my own rules and meet people outside of clubs first. But I've had some bad experiences so little nervous about it. | |||
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"I'm mostly over it now but for me a big part was generally worrying that I'd end up driving a long distance to get there and getting turned away at the door or spending the best part of a day's wages on entry then finding there was nobody there I liked or worse, that there was nobody there that was interested in me. Even now I'm a little anxious when it comes to visiting new ones. " If this is the way you think of clubs then they are not for you ... always go with no expectations and if your worried you may get turned away you call first clubs are not meant as a guarantee of fun or even meeting go with the thought of just having a night out and a drink and if you get chatting to somone great even more of a bonus if you get on and play x | |||
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"I've been to a club once. Rather boring, intimidating and a lot of effort to get there. Certainly scarier than arranging a meet. Given where I live it's not really an option that often anyway." This is very much the same for me. The effort, expense, and experiences in general, have never been what I am ‘sold’ in here. Much easier, and far more reliable to find fun, with private meets | |||
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"I (male) went to Angels on my own this evening. The staff were great, the place is lovely and I felt totally happy arriving, going in, saying hello and looking around. Bit of a quiet night (wet Thursday in January), so didn’t stay too long, but it means next time we go in February we will be very comfortable about our choice. Clubs are not scary, give them a go " There more than sex it's a great night out too ... | |||
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