FabSwingers.com forum: Just been accused of being racist from my profile!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

I'm not a racist (I'm half Asian FFS) and don't want to come across as such, but I'm not sexually attracted to people who are not white and I do feel that I need to state this on my profile. I think I need help here?!

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So he / she / they blocked you? Not a big deal. You'll always find people that are offended by something.

Just move on and don't get upset by it. It's personal preference.

N x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you feel you need to state it on your profile?

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By *ick270Man
over a year ago

Here

Forget it just a troll

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do you feel you need to state it on your profile?

In the vain hope that people read my profile and don't message me if they don't check all the boxes.

There are a lot of boxes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So he / she / they blocked you? Not a big deal. You'll always find people that are offended by something.

Just move on and don't get upset by it. It's personal preference.

N x"

Thanks

I'm not upset as such, just don't wanna be accused of being a racist. Can't say that's ever happened before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do you feel you need to state it on your profile?

She said...

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Block back and move on OP x

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

So he / she / they blocked you? Not a big deal. You'll always find people that are offended by something.

Just move on and don't get upset by it. It's personal preference.

N x

Thanks

I'm not upset as such, just don't wanna be accused of being a racist. Can't say that's ever happened before.

Ignore them. People throw 'the racist' remark too much on here. I find that more offensive as it detracts from the real racist issues some face day in - day out. It's beyond a joke sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do you feel you need to state it on your profile?

In the vain hope that people read my profile and don't message me if they don't check all the boxes.

There are a lot of boxes

Some will read it and won't message.

Some will be mortally offended and send you a message like you got.

Some won't read any of it.

Always worth a try.

I don't think anything you said would have helped so don't worry about them being offended. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So he / she / they blocked you? Not a big deal. You'll always find people that are offended by something.

Just move on and don't get upset by it. It's personal preference.

N x

Thanks

I'm not upset as such, just don't wanna be accused of being a racist. Can't say that's ever happened before.

Ignore them. People throw 'the racist' remark too much on here. I find that more offensive as it detracts from the real racist issues some face day in - day out. It's beyond a joke sometimes. "

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

Rather than saying what you are not looking for just state what you are looking for.

E.g. Only looking to meet a white gentleman at the moment.

Or steal from the bbc brigade and use BWC.

That way you are clear on what you want without having to list everyone you don't.

Or don't put a preference and block single men. Then you can approach the guys you are looking for directly with out having to turn down those who do not appeal to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

Rather than saying what you are not looking for just state what you are looking for.

E.g. Only looking to meet a white gentleman at the moment.

Or steal from the bbc brigade and use BWC.

That way you are clear on what you want without having to list everyone you don't.

Or don't put a preference and block single men. Then you can approach the guys you are looking for directly with out having to turn down those who do not appeal to you. "

Hehe thanks.

I'm just gonna leave it as it is and not worry about this one message.

I was just worried that it was a completely racist term and I was using it. Doesn't sound like it was so fuck it

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

It’s clear you’re not racist given the tone of the thread. However, it’s worth bearing in mind that that phrase can often perceived as being offensive in the UK but is quite mainstream in the USA - however weird that may seem.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."
. Now a days using the term people of colour is viewed by some of the younger generation ( under 40 ) as a racist remark I have a lady friend 70 years of age from Trinidad & Tobago ???? of Asian descent and she always using the term people of colour.I don’t personally believe you are a racist so don’t let this idiot ruin your experience on Fabs.I wonder if he will have the nerve to get involved on this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Persons of colour" is perfectly acceptable. Popularised by the Obamas it allows distinction without prejudice. It should not be confused with the term coloured people - this is old-fashioned and construed as offensive by some, although I'm African/Asian and it doesn't bother me in the slightest

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By *layfulserfMan
over a year ago

Northolt

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

There is nothing wrong with stating preferences... i dont get offended when people say they dont like baldies or people carrying extra weight. In fact im grateful that they have saved me the time of messaging.

As for the term, it is widely used. Different countries have different preferences and it is not easy keeping up with the latest politically correct terminology.

At least you tride to appologise for any offence unwittingly caused

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I have a ton of preferences like I’m sure everyone does

Absolutely no reason to put anything on your profile that can cause offence, all you need to do is ignore the message or say sorry no thanks if the person is not your type

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

I have a ton of preferences like I’m sure everyone does

Absolutely no reason to put anything on your profile that can cause offence, all you need to do is ignore the message or say sorry no thanks if the person is not your type

Best to leave profiles blank then cos some on here would find offence at anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just are plain assholes if you ask me! I for one don't see any problem with what it says on ur profile. Just do you and ignore those idiots.

It's a case of they got rejected, then become ignorant and try arguing with you because you ain't interested. Don't let those twats get to you hun! Enjoy your day and life your lovely life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do you feel you need to state it on your profile?

In the vain hope that people read my profile and don't message me if they don't check all the boxes.

There are a lot of boxes

"
exactly it was a mammoth read and I didn't see anything that would indicate you're racist

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some people just are plain assholes if you ask me! I for one don't see any problem with what it says on ur profile. Just do you and ignore those idiots.

It's a case of they got rejected, then become ignorant and try arguing with you because you ain't interested. Don't let those twats get to you hun! Enjoy your day and life your lovely life

I wouldn't have paid any attention if they'd have got rejected, but it was literally the first and only message. I didn't even know who they were.

So weird.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do you feel you need to state it on your profile?

In the vain hope that people read my profile and don't message me if they don't check all the boxes.

There are a lot of boxes

exactly it was a mammoth read and I didn't see anything that would indicate you're racist

Yeah, it's a novel!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

As for the term, it is widely used. Different countries have different preferences and it is not easy keeping up with the latest politically correct terminology.

At least you tride to appologise for any offence unwittingly caused"

I agree. Some people are offended by politically correct terms so you can't win anyway.

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

So he / she / they blocked you? Not a big deal. You'll always find people that are offended by something.

Just move on and don't get upset by it. It's personal preference.

N x"

This is the sensible choice - we cannot be the guardians of other people's sensitivities ... other issues might be in play. Your language is both respectful and meaningful.

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

"It’s clear you’re not racist given the tone of the thread. However, it’s worth bearing in mind that that phrase can often perceived as being offensive in the UK but is quite mainstream in the USA - however weird that may seem. "
we should be a little more open minded in the UK ... successful multiracial and multicultural societies allow discourse rather than shut down debate

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

I've always thought people of colour was an outdated term and offensive to many

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Can't please everyone with profile text and someone will always be unhappy about something or other.

Some will make it known they aren't happy some won't.

Just ignore them and move on, try not to let it bother you too much too.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

Call it a result.

We used to look at a lot of profiles for no results.

Statistics say those that block you cut down on the (dickheads, delete that) people you wouldn’t want to meet anyway.

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

I've just read your (long) profile and I can't see that term ?

I'll have to read it again now

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

I got accused of being racist for refusing a straight guy entrance to my bi night. It bothered me for about 2 mins when he started putting up status' about me being racist and then I got over it lol. It wasnt true. Be true to yourself you weren't being racist.

He hounded me so much and would not take no for an answer I was actually thankful I stuck to my guns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got abuse, threats and endless lectures on other sites and apps for stating looking for white amongst other things. Apparently I am not allowed to be white and have sex with white only. Political correctness in the extreme now when people think they can force you into bed with people you are not attracted to. I am just thankful on Fab there are a lot more common sense people on this subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore them , some people are born stupid he was properly bored and wanted some attention

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By *hocolate37Man
over a year ago

Heathrow

"I got accused of being racist for refusing a straight guy entrance to my bi night. It bothered me for about 2 mins when he started putting up status' about me being racist and then I got over it lol. It wasnt true. Be true to yourself you weren't being racist.

He hounded me so much and would not take no for an answer I was actually thankful I stuck to my guns. "

I'm gonna ask the fairly obvious question - in what way is this possibly racist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

Rather than saying what you are not looking for just state what you are looking for.

E.g. Only looking to meet a white gentleman at the moment.

Or steal from the bbc brigade and use BWC.

That way you are clear on what you want without having to list everyone you don't.

Or don't put a preference and block single men. Then you can approach the guys you are looking for directly with out having to turn down those who do not appeal to you. "
steal from the BBC brigade hahaha that made me laugh a little ... But yeah some women always objectify men as BBC'S even though they're mediocre at best... And most always have such negative , upstuck and spoilt attitudes against white men .... And by some women's standards of BBC'S it makes my cock a BWC.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got abuse, threats and endless lectures on other sites and apps for stating looking for white amongst other things. Apparently I am not allowed to be white and have sex with white only. Political correctness in the extreme now when people think they can force you into bed with people you are not attracted to. I am just thankful on Fab there are a lot more common sense people on this subject."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have been accused of racism for having a preference to white men...

I've been thrown racist abuse for having a preference of black men.

Shall we do swapsies... I'll send you the white guys and you send me your black lol...don't do that ... It was a joke

If anyone gives you abuse or make you feel like crap for the types of people you allow to enter your body just block and report the offender.

Or get them to paint themselve white ... Again joking guys

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If they've blocked you that's a good thing, isn't it? No need to apologise as it's their problem not yours.

And being half Asian doesn't rule you out of being a racist - I'm certainly not saying you are and I'm not having a go, just saying I've met a few Asian and Black racists

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Must say I see it a lot on here and I didn't think anything of it. I'm white (mixed race, whatever) and I just wanna have sex with people I wanna have sex with. I'm allowed to know who that is and not allow people to have sex with me based on whatever I want.

It's so stupid

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You have been accused of racism for having a preference to white men...

I've been thrown racist abuse for having a preference of black men.

Shall we do swapsies... I'll send you the white guys and you send me your black lol...don't do that ... It was a joke

If anyone gives you abuse or make you feel like crap for the types of people you allow to enter your body just block and report the offender.

Or get them to paint themselve white ... Again joking guys

Lolz. Can you imagine?? I'll send them all your way, gladly. Some of the black guys are super hot, but they just don't do it for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He hounded me so much and would not take no for an answer I was actually thankful I stuck to my guns.

I'm gonna ask the fairly obvious question - in what way is this possibly racist?"

Presumably he wasn't white?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've just read your (long) profile and I can't see that term ?

I'll have to read it again now

Yeah I removed it now lol. I genuinely don't want to upset anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have been accused of racism for having a preference to white men...

I've been thrown racist abuse for having a preference of black men.

Shall we do swapsies... I'll send you the white guys and you send me your black lol...don't do that ... It was a joke

If anyone gives you abuse or make you feel like crap for the types of people you allow to enter your body just block and report the offender.

Or get them to paint themselve white ... Again joking guys

Lolz. Can you imagine?? I'll send them all your way, gladly. Some of the black guys are super hot, but they just don't do it for me. "

Ok ok

Let's get this situation so it works

1 hot white guy for ever 1 hot black guy exchange program

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By *hocolate37Man
over a year ago

Heathrow

He hounded me so much and would not take no for an answer I was actually thankful I stuck to my guns.

I'm gonna ask the fairly obvious question - in what way is this possibly racist?

Presumably he wasn't white?"

Yeah, there is that...it was only mentioned that he was refused because he was straight, though, hence my confusion?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have been accused of racism for having a preference to white men...

I've been thrown racist abuse for having a preference of black men.

Shall we do swapsies... I'll send you the white guys and you send me your black lol...don't do that ... It was a joke

If anyone gives you abuse or make you feel like crap for the types of people you allow to enter your body just block and report the offender.

Or get them to paint themselve white ... Again joking guys

Lolz. Can you imagine?? I'll send them all your way, gladly. Some of the black guys are super hot, but they just don't do it for me.

Ok ok

Let's get this situation so it works

1 hot white guy for ever 1 hot black guy exchange program

Yes I prefer black too and got an abusive message from a white guy calling me damaged goods. There’s good and bad in all races and the ones who send abusive messages fall into the latter but are unlikely to have much luck on here. Enjoy yourself with who you want and don’t worry about the knobheads.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You have been accused of racism for having a preference to white men...

I've been thrown racist abuse for having a preference of black men.

Shall we do swapsies... I'll send you the white guys and you send me your black lol...don't do that ... It was a joke

If anyone gives you abuse or make you feel like crap for the types of people you allow to enter your body just block and report the offender.

Or get them to paint themselve white ... Again joking guys

Lolz. Can you imagine?? I'll send them all your way, gladly. Some of the black guys are super hot, but they just don't do it for me.

Ok ok

Let's get this situation so it works

1 hot white guy for ever 1 hot black guy exchange program

Totes. Love it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You have been accused of racism for having a preference to white men...

I've been thrown racist abuse for having a preference of black men.

Shall we do swapsies... I'll send you the white guys and you send me your black lol...don't do that ... It was a joke

If anyone gives you abuse or make you feel like crap for the types of people you allow to enter your body just block and report the offender.

Or get them to paint themselve white ... Again joking guys

Lolz. Can you imagine?? I'll send them all your way, gladly. Some of the black guys are super hot, but they just don't do it for me.

Ok ok

Let's get this situation so it works

1 hot white guy for ever 1 hot black guy exchange program

The fuck?? Why are people SO rude?? You can't help who turns you on or we're going back 50 years when we were telling people they shouldn't find their own gender sexually attractive?! I mean, how crazy is this?!

Grrrrrrrrrrr

Well for the record, I'm bi, single, female and like white men and women.

Other races are absolutely stunning and beautiful and I love them BUT they just don't do it for me in my foof. Sorry! You'll have to find other women who will jump your bones.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"You have been accused of racism for having a preference to white men...

I've been thrown racist abuse for having a preference of black men.

Shall we do swapsies... I'll send you the white guys and you send me your black lol...don't do that ... It was a joke

If anyone gives you abuse or make you feel like crap for the types of people you allow to enter your body just block and report the offender.

Or get them to paint themselve white ... Again joking guys

Lolz. Can you imagine?? I'll send them all your way, gladly. Some of the black guys are super hot, but they just don't do it for me.

Ok ok

Let's get this situation so it works

1 hot white guy for ever 1 hot black guy exchange program

Yayyyyyy! I'm in! You can have all the white guys who message me. They can't read though.

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

He hounded me so much and would not take no for an answer I was actually thankful I stuck to my guns.

I'm gonna ask the fairly obvious question - in what way is this possibly racist?

Presumably he wasn't white?

Yeah, there is that...it was only mentioned that he was refused because he was straight, though, hence my confusion?"

I only add bi guys to my event he was straight.

He contacted me over and over asking to come and would not listen to me.

He then said he would report me to the benefits office unless I let him come. I told him to do so (I'm not on any benefits). He then called me a druggie and said he would tell people. ( I'm 10 years into recovery and proud of it) so no problem with that. He then said I was being racist and he would sue me.

It was all very extreme just over a party. He then proceeded to post on fab that he was fighting racism and standing up for his rights and I was racist.

It really bothered me at first but then I just let him get on with it.

Asian people , black people, all different races and culture come to my event so I just didnt react. I thought to myself if he cannot accept no from me, how would he be with others at a party?

Hence me saying be true to yourself. If other people think something let them think it. It's not your stuff to deal with.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

He hounded me so much and would not take no for an answer I was actually thankful I stuck to my guns.

I'm gonna ask the fairly obvious question - in what way is this possibly racist?

Presumably he wasn't white?

Yeah, there is that...it was only mentioned that he was refused because he was straight, though, hence my confusion?

I only add bi guys to my event he was straight.

He contacted me over and over asking to come and would not listen to me.

It was all very extreme just over a party. He then proceeded to post on fab that he was fighting racism and standing up for his rights and I was racist.

It really bothered me at first but then I just let him get on with it.

Asian people , black people, all different races and culture come to my event so I just didnt react. I thought to myself if he cannot accept no from me, how would he be with others at a party?

Hence me saying be true to yourself. If other people think something let them think it. It's not your stuff to deal with."

It’s a bit of a trek, but you’ve sold it to me, if I’m free I’d certainly appreciate going to a party that actually enforces the rules. Good on you for sticking to your guns, quite correct he’d have caused more problems if you’d let him attend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It as an antiquated term nowada5s as is half caste... mixed race or black is the polit8cally correct terminology. I know you haven't been deliberately racist here it is a mistake due to a lack of knowledge. The person who bl8cked you is hyper sensitive and should have had a concersation with you and helped you to become more aware of the correct way to refer to peo0le with diverse skin colours.... oh im not white i am a shade of pink

Lol

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By *art123Man
over a year ago

Stoke

What a crazy world we live in... how to ‘phrase’ skin colour

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

honestly too many people are looking for something to be offended by, maybe you could put attracted to white guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Person of Colour is fine, it's more of an American and social media term, where as in England's big cities the term BAME is often used by the younger crowed.

The confusion comes from the fact that it's close to an old derogatory term, calling people "coloureds" is the bad one as it's often used as a put down by the you know who types.

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By *ral_isthenewblackMan
over a year ago

london

It seems u already had yr mind made up and just wanted justification. Which makes me wonder why u asked the question in the first place. I mistakenly thought u needed people's opinion.

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By *laqgrapeMan
over a year ago

Sanderstead

"Why do you feel you need to state it on your profile?

"
Thank u

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By *laqgrapeMan
over a year ago

Sanderstead

Racist or not just simply block em and move on simple x

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By *ral_isthenewblackMan
over a year ago

london

Each to there own and if she only wants white men then there is nothing wrong in stating it on her profile. Mr _laqgrape... there is a lady on yr verification list who states black men only. Did u also show the same passion to her as you did now to this lady that states white men only?? Guess not. Point is we choose who we criticize if it doesn't go our way. Live n let live. The lady wants only white men.. fair enough. Put it on yr profile girl. Nothing wrong with that. I am black and I have noticed that most black guys don't have a problem with white girls putting black guys only on their profile. But as soon as a white girl puts white guys only the racist accusations pour out. Different rules ehhh..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to there own! I'm.pt sure I'd put that on my profile o wouldn't be brave enough! By the way I love all people from.all cultures. You shouldn't be judged that you dont though. People always find an arguement regardless. Move on keep.the chin up.oys not wrong to have a preference

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By *laqgrapeMan
over a year ago

Sanderstead

"Each to there own and if she only wants white men then there is nothing wrong in stating it on her profile. Mr _laqgrape... there is a lady on yr verification list who states black men only. Did u also show the same passion to her as you did now to this lady that states white men only?? Guess not. Point is we choose who we criticize if it doesn't go our way. Live n let live. The lady wants only white men.. fair enough. Put it on yr profile girl. Nothing wrong with that. I am black and I have noticed that most black guys don't have a problem with white girls putting black guys only on their profile. But as soon as a white girl puts white guys only the racist accusations pour out. Different rules ehhh.."
.....its why i said racist or not everyone has their own preference no different to the girl you mentioned on my profile she gets abused too it is what it is and whole lot more girls too even black girls who prefer white guys get it from black guys it is what it is this is nothing new here and it aint going anywhere .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen profiles that say Black cock only no whites. Is that not the same. It's just a preference nothing more in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone.

I think I'm fine using the phrase on my profile - though I've removed it for now.

One person has said it's antiquated and to use BAME (which I've never even heard of?!) And then two posts down, someone has said it's fine to us POC!

I can't win lol

It's exactly the same as only wanting black men or Asian men. It's just a preference and anyone should be able to state THEIR preferences on THEIR profile without judgement or abuse. If you don't like a profile, then just move on. If you wanna 'educate' someone then don't insult them and block, educate them!!!

Thanks for all the comments abs healthy debate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Person of Colour is fine, it's more of an American and social media term, where as in England's big cities the term BAME is often used by the younger crowed.

The confusion comes from the fact that it's close to an old derogatory term, calling people "coloureds" is the bad one as it's often used as a put down by the you know who types."

I think this is why I (mixed race) find "people of colour" offensive, how close it seems to "coloured".

I don't think the op is at all racist though! Just that wording wasn't great.

I've had some abuse for my preference too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The world has gone fucking crazy

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By *ilentnoiseMan
over a year ago

Belfast

“I’m not a racist I’m half Asian FFS” kind of assumes then that only white people can be racist which is absurd. It’s also like saying “I’m not racist I have black friends”. The reality is you are racist and so is everyone else on here, including me! But before I get shot down, let me qualify that by saying it sounds like you are not intentionally racist. Whilst the majority of us have the common decency to treat everyone with respect regardless of their ethnicity or their cultural heritage, unfortunately it is impossible for us NOT to be racist - we live in very racist societies and racism is bred into us. It’s all around us whether we know it or not. We all carry around ‘unconscious’ racism that we are not even aware of.

Expressing things on profiles like “I love BBC” or “I am only into white men” might seem like a straightforward preference, but it is technically a form of sexual racism whether we want to accept that or not. It calls for us to delve deep and question how and why it is we have come to value certain ‘preferences’ whilst devaluing others.

You sound very thoughtful in wanting to reply to this person and explain that you had not intended to appear offensive. That says a lot about your character. I’m guessing that the guy you were speaking too may have been less bothered by the term “person of colour” and more bothered by the fact that you have ruled out meeting the majority of the world’s population.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

It's about men wanting women to NOT have choices.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's about men wanting women to NOT have choices."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“I’m not a racist I’m half Asian FFS” kind of assumes then that only white people can be racist which is absurd. It’s also like saying “I’m not racist I have black friends”. The reality is you are racist and so is everyone else on here, including me! But before I get shot down, let me qualify that by saying it sounds like you are not intentionally racist. Whilst the majority of us have the common decency to treat everyone with respect regardless of their ethnicity or their cultural heritage, unfortunately it is impossible for us NOT to be racist - we live in very racist societies and racism is bred into us. It’s all around us whether we know it or not. We all carry around ‘unconscious’ racism that we are not even aware of.

Your perseption of what racism is is somewhat incorrect and the notion that all of us are racist is incorrect. Ruling out guys who we give permission to ENTER our bodies has to come down to our own personal preference. I sure as hell am not about to let 3,776,294,273 men enter my body because that's what they want or to avoid offending someone.

Yes I googled how many men there are in the world...

Nether I or the op are racists we have a difference of who we are attracted too not who we will engage with, not how we will treat people both out in the world or I'm our own minds.

I certainly do not agree with your statement in any shape or form.

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By *ink Panther 123Man
over a year ago

Colnbrook

There are so many black female profiles that say no whites , double standards Comes to mind , guys just can't face rejection , I can just move on. It's a free world we meet who want to and people should respect people's pretences

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By *eteforprincesssMan
over a year ago

up a monkeys butt!

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

Forget it... you cant give offence... offence is something taken...and you cant pander to everyone.. there's always someone ready to throw the PC card .. they are the small minded.. say what you want on your profile..its yours not theres and if they don't like it... that's there problem not yours x

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

I have blocked people because they said only white guys just to prevent me from contacting them. If I were to guess the reason he blocked you, don't feel the need to justified yourself.

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By *ink Panther 123Man
over a year ago

Colnbrook

"There are so many black female profiles that say no whites , double standards Comes to mind , guys just can't face rejection , I can just move on. It's a free world we meet who want to and people should respect people's pretences "

I meant preferences doh !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite a regular thread ay.. Preference, racism we can't seem to move forward

Anyway here's an interesting song, cheer up people and get along

https://youtu.be/43gm3CJePn0

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for your reply. And you're right, of course. Yes black and white people can, of course, be racists, but i meant to say that it's not a 'I don't like people of colour' thing, it's more like ' i don't find them sexually attractive - sorry!'.

Of course, I'll never say never, but I've not met someone 'of colour' yet that has made me want to sleep with them. I can find them attractive and be friends with them, hang out, chat , work with, whatever but they just don't do it for me.

I did try to say sorry! Hopefully they've seen this post and can appreciate that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's about men wanting women to NOT have choices."

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before.... Now a days using the term people of colour is viewed by some of the younger generation ( under 40 ) as a racist remark I have a lady friend 70 years of age from Trinidad & Tobago ???? of Asian descent and she always using the term people of colour.I don’t personally believe you are a racist so don’t let this idiot ruin your experience on Fabs.I wonder if he will have the nerve to get involved on this thread."
. I see you have changed a sentence on your profile which as far as I am concerned makes it clear what your preferences are not that there was anything wrong with the previous sentence as far as I am concerned.As I stated earlier you are not a racist it’s just about preference.

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By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

South

Nothing wrong with having a preference.

Me personally, I wouldn’t want anyone to call me “coloured” or “a person of colour”.

Every human on the planet earth has a “colour” so I don’t see why that phrase is exclusive for people who are not Caucasian. Isn’t white a colour?

If a profile reads “only seeking white men” then I know exactly that I’m not for them, make a private (so I don’t message them) and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quite a regular thread ay.. Preference, racism we can't seem to move forward

Anyway here's an interesting song, cheer up people and get along

https://youtu.be/43gm3CJePn0"

Bit deep that one trim

If anyone is going to listen they need to listen to the whole song to be honest.

Much like anything else... You can listen to half the story and assume or listen to the whole story and understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly why I posted it. Two sides to a story

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By *laqgrapeMan
over a year ago

Sanderstead

"The world has gone fucking crazy "
its always been fucking crazy lol

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By *laqgrapeMan
over a year ago

Sanderstead

"Nothing wrong with having a preference.

Me personally, I wouldn’t want anyone to call me “coloured” or “a person of colour”.

Every human on the planet earth has a “colour” so I don’t see why that phrase is exclusive for people who are not Caucasian. Isn’t white a colour?

If a profile reads “only seeking white men” then I know exactly that I’m not for them, make a private (so I don’t message them) and move on. "
simple

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By *laqgrapeMan
over a year ago

Sanderstead

"Quite a regular thread ay.. Preference, racism we can't seem to move forward

Anyway here's an interesting song, cheer up people and get along

https://youtu.be/43gm3CJePn0"

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By *hocolate37Man
over a year ago

Heathrow

He hounded me so much and would not take no for an answer I was actually thankful I stuck to my guns.

I'm gonna ask the fairly obvious question - in what way is this possibly racist?

Presumably he wasn't white?

Yeah, there is that...it was only mentioned that he was refused because he was straight, though, hence my confusion?

I only add bi guys to my event he was straight.

He contacted me over and over asking to come and would not listen to me.

It was all very extreme just over a party. He then proceeded to post on fab that he was fighting racism and standing up for his rights and I was racist.

It really bothered me at first but then I just let him get on with it.

Asian people , black people, all different races and culture come to my event so I just didnt react. I thought to myself if he cannot accept no from me, how would he be with others at a party?

Hence me saying be true to yourself. If other people think something let them think it. It's not your stuff to deal with."

Simply put, I think this guy's got his shit seriously twisted...if it's a bi night, it's a bi night, and he's straight...and I can't think why or how he's taken that as "racist" at all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all

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By *heEvilWithinWoman
over a year ago

Barnsley

Can I just play devil's advocate and say.

If someone wrote on their profile "no Asian women" and they were white would you find that offensive? Yes is probably the answer.

We do unfortunately live in a society where the racism card is played too easily. Especially when a preference to what you're attracted to isn't technically racist. Although people do like to find a reason to be upset over absolutely nothing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I just play devil's advocate and say.

If someone wrote on their profile "no Asian women" and they were white would you find that offensive? Yes is probably the answer.

Why would I find that racist? To me, it's the same as preferring blonde, slim and tall women. I am none of those things and don't get offended if people have that on their profiles.

I am mature enough to understand personal preference and sexual attraction. Not everyone finds everyone attractive (life would be easier that way!).

All this has shown me is that there's no clear cut answer and people can be offended by anything as anytime lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best to be open and honest what you want and don't want rather than waste people time.

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By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

[Removed by poster at 14/07/19 11:16:49]

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By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

Think you could prob of worded it a bit different rather than 'not my thing' ... Personally i think its only a preference thing . I like black asian or whatever im not fussy aslong as they have an amazing body lol . Theres alot on here who show prejudice towards me not for not having hair or too short . So everyone should just consider a bit more when doing profiles of preference maybe. But hey im not bothered tbh . We live in the world of 'snowflakes' now ya know lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I just play devil's advocate and say.

If someone wrote on their profile "no Asian women" and they were white would you find that offensive? Yes is probably the answer.

One should not be labelled racist for being honest about their sexual preference. The issue in this case is the use if the word 'coloured and not her prefered choice of sexual partner.

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

"Can I just play devil's advocate and say.

If someone wrote on their profile "no Asian women" and they were white would you find that offensive? Yes is probably the answer.

One should not be labelled racist for being honest about their sexual preference. The issue in this case is the use if the word 'coloured and not her prefered choice of sexual partner. "

The word coloured was not in the original op's post..

It is/was 'people of colour' which is very very different..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they have a problem with your profile its their problem.Let them deal with it.

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By *r FirecrackerMan
over a year ago

London

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

Don’t worry about it, people make a living out of being offended these days. It’s your profile so feel free to put whatever you like, if someone does not like it then they have the option to block you and vice-versa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

It is not 'their problem, racist language and it's use is considered a hate crime and punishable by law. Too many ignorant and uninformed people on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rather than say what you don’t want emphasise what you do want?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Rather than say what you don’t want emphasise what you do want? "

Yeah cos I'm sure 'white people only' would have been better? Lol x

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By *r FirecrackerMan
over a year ago

London

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

It is not 'their problem, racist language and it's use is considered a hate crime and punishable by law. Too many ignorant and uninformed people on here!"

I don’t see any racist language on the profile in question, if you do please point it out to me......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

It is not 'their problem, racist language and it's use is considered a hate crime and punishable by law. Too many ignorant and uninformed people on here!

I don’t see any racist language on the profile in question, if you do please point it out to me......"

She got called racist for not being interested in BBC by the looks of it. Nothing racist just someone being a twat to her.

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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago

Derby

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

I don't believe you are racist, but why does being half asian mean you can't be?

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

He hounded me so much and would not take no for an answer I was actually thankful I stuck to my guns.

I'm gonna ask the fairly obvious question - in what way is this possibly racist?

Presumably he wasn't white?

Yeah, there is that...it was only mentioned that he was refused because he was straight, though, hence my confusion?

I only add bi guys to my event he was straight.

He contacted me over and over asking to come and would not listen to me.

It was all very extreme just over a party. He then proceeded to post on fab that he was fighting racism and standing up for his rights and I was racist.

It really bothered me at first but then I just let him get on with it.

Asian people , black people, all different races and culture come to my event so I just didnt react. I thought to myself if he cannot accept no from me, how would he be with others at a party?

Hence me saying be true to yourself. If other people think something let them think it. It's not your stuff to deal with.

Simply put, I think this guy's got his shit seriously twisted...if it's a bi night, it's a bi night, and he's straight...and I can't think why or how he's taken that as "racist" at all?

It wasnt racism at all. He just chose to pull that card out

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By *eepgliderMan
over a year ago

Chacewater

He is entitled to have sex with you, it will be bareback and you have no choice (sic.)

Ignore.

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By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

Your all racists soo there !!

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

I have a ton of preferences like I’m sure everyone does

Absolutely no reason to put anything on your profile that can cause offence, all you need to do is ignore the message or say sorry no thanks if the person is not your type

Best to leave profiles blank then cos some on here would find offence at anything."

This!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought what ever colour we are we are all of the same race, the human race, so racist is something that confuses me

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By *anes HubbyCouple
over a year ago

Babbacombe Torquay

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

I don't believe you are racist, but why does being half asian mean you can't be?"

I think it depends on what half is Asian....bottom half might be an issue

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By *idymanMan
over a year ago

east markham

The age of the snowflake we are living in

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By *anny_jMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

Ur half Asian? r u sure?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing wrong with having a preference.

Me personally, I wouldn’t want anyone to call me “coloured” or “a person of colour”.

Every human on the planet earth has a “colour” so I don’t see why that phrase is exclusive for people who are not Caucasian. Isn’t white a colour?

If a profile reads “only seeking white men” then I know exactly that I’m not for them, make a private (so I don’t message them) and move on. "

Interestingly enough if color is solely the way physics describes it as the visible spectrum of light waves, then black and white don’t actually count as true physical colors.

Dunno how the PC brigade are gonna view that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I loved your profile. It's witty and fun. I think some people are just born offended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has their own preferences,no need to apologise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

Ur half Asian? r u sure?"

Why do you need to question that the lady should know if she is half Asian or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many snowflakes around, dont worry about it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a ton of preferences like I’m sure everyone does

Absolutely no reason to put anything on your profile that can cause offence, all you need to do is ignore the message or say sorry no thanks if the person is not your type

Best to leave profiles blank then cos some on here would find offence at anything."

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

Ur half Asian? r u sure?"

Why are you asking this question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone from any religion can be racist... I personally don’t think you’re being racist in what you’ve written.

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

What you have in your profile can probably be found on a third of the couples and single lady profiles on here. Nothing to be ashamed of in stating your preferrnces.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not think what you said was racist however the more acceptable terms would be looking for Caucasian( of European origin) or not looking for mixed race ( people with coloured skin) .

It's crazy I know. I have looking for Caucasian only not because I dont like mixed race people as I have tones of mixed raced friends being from South Africa ( white Caucasian from European parents) but because that's my preference .

Its just a colour of skin. I have no idea why anyone takes it so personally. Most "white people" all try to tan to get darker skin and many Caucasian people love mixed race especially mixes race men because that's their preferences and apparently they are well hung ?? and the whitest teeth ever .

People need to get a grip because it ruins it for other people who don't have issues with the whole race thing but get put under the same bracket.

You didn't say anything wrong just someone who's maybe had a hard time in life and race being a big issue aswell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."
millennials for you

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By *lackdemonMan
over a year ago

Gorton

Don't let it worry you i just think a lot of black men can't take rejection just ignore them not everyone is into black guys just enjoy your self and don't worry about what other people think they most likely not proper swingers anyway

Love hugs and kisses blckdemon

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By *ruman77Man
over a year ago

London

To be fair everybody is a person of colour, but yet the term is used to single out people of any race who aren't white, and it's ignorant of race and identity. So yes you might find people getting pissed of with that phrase. Others may brush it off though.

The context in which it's used is probably the more potentially upsetting. If your profile read something like "I only like/don't like to meet people of colour" then you can definitely expect non-white people to take offence whether or not the comment was in their favour, as it's seen as either an instant dismissal or acceptance based on a pre-existing stereotype. Can I ask how your profile was referring to people of colour?

I think the person who blocked you should have let you respond though. Wouldn't they want to know what you had to say before making their mind up about you.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"To be fair everybody is a person of colour, but yet the term is used to single out people of any race who aren't white, and it's ignorant of race and identity. So yes you might find people getting pissed of with that phrase. Others may brush it off though.

I think the person who blocked you should have let you respond though. Wouldn't they want to know what you had to say before making their mind up about you. "

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the name of the civil rights organisation in America.

It uses the same words in its title.

Personally I think its simpler to list what you want or desire rather than what you don't want.

But simpler still is for the lady to do the looking and approaching rather than hoping that you have worded your profile precisely enough to attract the specific individuals that you want to contact you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would personally use colour over the term black or chocolate that some tend to use

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By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

"Don't let it worry you i just think a lot of black men can't take rejection just ignore them not everyone is into black guys just enjoy your self and don't worry about what other people think they most likely not proper swingers anyway

Love hugs and kisses blckdemon"

I know many not into white guys aswel . Bit of a bummer really as theres a hot black girl at work grrrr but she only does black men . I did ask her to try at least once you never know hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a ton of preferences like I’m sure everyone does

Absolutely no reason to put anything on your profile that can cause offence, all you need to do is ignore the message or say sorry no thanks if the person is not your type

This

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By *oul BrothaMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

Being half Asian does not mean you are incapable of being racist, OP.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In response to everyone saying that anyone can be racist and it doesn't matter if they are black/white/orange/purple/whatever. Yes, I understand that and I wasn't saying that I couldn't be racist because of my half-Asian ethnicity, I was saying that I am mixed-race and am NOT offended by the term 'people of colour'.

The implication from some people is that being racist means that you don't like people who are a different race to you. Hence why I was explaining that I many friends who u like very much who are all different races. Lol.

In this specific example, we are talking about sexual attraction in terms of race, and I PERSONALLY am not sexually attracted to black men or Asian men. That's just biology and chemistry and nothing I'm going to change.

I've changed my profile now and I had an Asian guy PM to say that I was racist and then said I should change and always sleep with Asian or Black men as they are better in bed. As if skin colour has anything to do with sexual prowess.

I think the irony was lost on him when I accused him of being totally racist. He continued to argue with me - was rude, insulting, offensive, persistent, patronising and generally fit in with every stereotype of an Asian man on the swinging scene.

And people wonder why I don't want to attract certain people based on their race/ethnicity/nationality/whatever.

Ultimately, it's my time, my body, my profile and my life so I can do and say whatever the fuck I want.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"In response to everyone saying that anyone can be racist and it doesn't matter if they are black/white/orange/purple/whatever. Yes, I understand that and I wasn't saying that I couldn't be racist because of my half-Asian ethnicity, I was saying that I am mixed-race and am NOT offended by the term 'people of colour'.

And people wonder why I don't want to attract certain people based on their race/ethnicity/nationality/whatever.

Ultimately, it's my time, my body, my profile and my life so I can do and say whatever the fuck I want.

Agree with you. It's your profile and you are totally entitled to play with those you find attractive. Pulling the race card is getting very old on here and we will continue to block anyone who trys to pull the race card on us. It's down right offensive and plays down real racism. Continue to play your way OP.

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By *ruman77Man
over a year ago

London

And people wonder why I don't want to attract certain people based on their race/ethnicity/nationality/whatever.

Ultimately, it's my time, my body, my profile and my life so I can do and say whatever the fuck I want.

While there may be arguments for and against this type of colour based preference being seen as racist, it's a pity some people see race or colour (or any other external feature) as a significant factor to base attraction on. Surely we've all been with someone we were insanely attracted to physically, only to find they just didn't interest or stimulate us? I would have thought Love Island was a good example that conventional good looks means very little. For the record I haven't find anyone on that show attractive.

I can accept that we all have certain things that attract us initially, but to limit our search according to a criteria made up by fantasies, stereotypes, or previous encounters just limits one's chances of finding a perfect match doesn't it? I may be wrong, but how often does someone talk about a partner as "someone I wouldn't usually go for"?

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By *s.FrostWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Most people have no idea what the word actually means.

You have personal preferences. Everyone does.

I've had maybe 2 guys take offense. Most guys, who have messaged me, and been kindly told that I'm only interested in men of my own race, have been very polite and not taken offence, and have actually been really sweet.

There's a block and delete option. Use it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we have to use the term BAME now don't we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually Jonathan Pie has a good rant about this subject on you tube.

Just search Jonathan Pie bame

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By *ruman77Man
over a year ago

London

"Actually Jonathan Pie has a good rant about this subject on you tube.

Just search Jonathan Pie bame"

Got to love that guy.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

You know Race is just a social construct.

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By *amille66Woman
over a year ago

Gerrards Cross London

I wouldn’t worry about. I’m like you too in that my preference is for white men. I don’t feel the need to justify it to anyone and it’s not racist. It’s a personal choice.

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By *s.FrostWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"You know Race is just a social construct. "

Ahahaha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you're excluding based on ethnicity alone. It's racist behaviour. Even if it's just your foof being a bit racist. If it preferred white cock.. it wouldn't be against other cocks.

It's not meant to detract from the nastier, more accure racist behaviour in society today. It's nowhere near the same level of nastiness. If a business operated by same standards.. it'd be closed down for only catering to White people. Though I imagine theres a few about still, sadly.

I think it's a bit sad and it'd put me off anyone writing it.

If you can write off an entire continent and all the variety that comes with it.. then there is something underlying you may want to look into. Go travelling or something, broaden your mind. Or not.. Carry on as you are and posting where we can see it and avoid it.

I've seen a few non-white people use the "I'm not racist, I'm ..... FFS!" As if it's something only white skinned people behave like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if you're excluding based on ethnicity alone. It's racist behaviour. Even if it's just your foof being a bit racist. If it preferred white cock.. it wouldn't be against other cocks.

I think it's a bit sad and it'd put me off anyone writing it.

I've seen a few non-white people use the "I'm not racist, I'm ..... FFS!" As if it's something only white skinned people behave like. "

I'm not telling anyone who they can or cant sleep with. or how to go about it.. just defining what I see as racist behaviour by dictionary definition and personal experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn’t worry about. I’m like you too in that my preference is for white men. I don’t feel the need to justify it to anyone and it’s not racist. It’s a personal choice."

I agree.

And those who feel the need to cry “racism” at every given chance aren’t worth your time.

You know yourself, and you know what you are, so the opinions of strangers on the internet attempting to be offended at every given thing, should be irrelevant to you.

I’ve had the “You’re racist” in my inbox, and in the same sentence they put “black bitch” which I found ironic. Little did they know, I date and have dated different ethnicities, but on here I seek something specific. If they’d have asked, they’d have found out, but no “racist black bitch” is what I am!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand that everyone has a preference. If a lady does not want to meet someone who is Asian and just wants to stick to her race so let her be.

Having a preference is not necessarily racist

racism comes in all forms. Another thing that is linked to racism is stereotype. For an example if one Asian does something bad, the racist individual seem to tarnish all Asians with the same brush. All this thing about the 21st century blah blah thing will not change the mind of a racist.

But having a preference is a different ball game altogether. They might get along with someone who is off-colour socially. But sexually might not be attracted. There's simply nothing racist about that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's more about a traction more than anything. If you're not sexually attracted to someone how do you expect the sex to get better.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The OP has a lovely detailed profile. Not racist in my opinion.

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

""Persons of colour" is perfectly acceptable. Popularised by the Obamas it allows distinction without prejudice. It should not be confused with the term coloured people - this is old-fashioned and construed as offensive by some, although I'm African/Asian and it doesn't bother me in the slightest

It gets even trickier unfortunately because in America the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People founded in 1909 (NAACP) chose to retain their name and it’s still used.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

It gets even trickier unfortunately because in America the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People founded in 1909 (NAACP) chose to retain their name and it’s still used.

But they do not use the term in sentences, just in their name, which is part of their historic legacy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about it its your preference I've been called racist for wearing a poppy remembrance day the race card is weak now and nobody interested but people still use it just another idiot on fab it won't be the first won't be the last I won't play with a couple where the male is bi or bi curious but it doesn't mean I'm homophobic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As has been said, don't worry... we all have preferences

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By *ruman77Man
over a year ago

London

"Don't worry about it its your preference I've been called racist for wearing a poppy remembrance day the race card is weak now and nobody interested but people still use it just another idiot on fab it won't be the first won't be the last I won't play with a couple where the male is bi or bi curious but it doesn't mean I'm homophobic "

What's racist about wearing a poppy? Surely it is more of symbol of unity and anti war.

I've seen quite a few race preferences on female profiles. Do many men state the same kind of preferences? I'm curious if it's the same across the board, but I don't really see that many male profiles so am curious to know.

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By *ayHamboMan
over a year ago

Enfield

I wouldn't worry about the race baiters, wearing a poppy is not a racist symbol, and having a preference is not an issue either, it's a handy way to avoid time wasting. Some people are too quick to throw labels around and look for faults in others, do your thing!

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

Rather than saying what you are not looking for just state what you are looking for.

E.g. Only looking to meet a white gentleman at the moment.

Or steal from the bbc brigade and use BWC.

That way you are clear on what you want without having to list everyone you don't.

Or don't put a preference and block single men. Then you can approach the guys you are looking for directly with out having to turn down those who do not appeal to you. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's racist about wearing a poppy? Surely it is more of symbol of unity and anti war.

There’s nothing racist about wearing a poppy.

It’s just another way for snowflakes of the century to have a go at someone who does something they don’t like.

I have seen race preferences on male profiles, not that many! Black guys looking for whites women, and white men looking for black/mixed/Indian women!

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By *atonMan
over a year ago

barnet

There are people who will stand on there wardrobe peering through there curtains , craning there necks in order to look into the neighbours house hoping to be outraged and offended.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"X BBC/Asian men (sorry, sorry, sorry #awks)"

100% racist. No question. Don't be "awks", understand what that says about you and get rid of it, and have the decency to just ignore those people. Think about what that feels like to read for one second.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""X BBC/Asian men (sorry, sorry, sorry #awks)"

Tbf she hasn't ruled out small black cocks

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before...

Rather than saying what you are not looking for just state what you are looking for.

E.g. Only looking to meet a white gentleman at the moment.

Or steal from the bbc brigade and use BWC. "

This discriminates against us with small-to-average white cocks.

I'm offended

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By *rAngleseyMan
over a year ago

Anglesey

The whole racist thing has become over sensitive & people get offended at anything these days. You`ve made it clear what you do or don`t like & that saves wasting everyone`s time. People might not want to meet me because of my age or because I smoke. It`s a personel choice & i`m never offended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has anyone ever used BAME? As in ‘No BAME’?

Is that less offensive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""X BBC/Asian men (sorry, sorry, sorry #awks)"

It’s her profile, not yours.

So you’re not really in a position to tell her what to write.

You say “Think about what that feels like to read for one second” yet you aren’t black yourself, so how would you know how it feels? I am black and I don’t feel anything reading that.

OP ignore the abusive people who feel the need to call you racist for using a well accepted term that isn’t at all offensive. It’s ridiculous. Block them!

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

RULE....... Oh I forgot the number but it was on one of those FAB rules threads, grow a thick skin.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"Has anyone ever used BAME? As in ‘No BAME’?

Is that less offensive?"

I would if they knew what it stands for.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

Obviously, it would be WAME.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day you cant choose who you are attracted too. (I find all races can be sexy btw)

It's not racist, it's what floats ya boat. Block and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."
their probably are many white people youre not attracted to what do you do in that instance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/10/19 23:56:43]

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

It's a dogwhistle report by someone on the far right which I have seen used before (the accusation that is)

IRL human resources including diversity is part of my day job POC is American but growing in popularity in the UK and is a perfectly acceptable and inclusive term for non white people

Sorry you got attention from a numpty sadly far too many of them about xxx

Ms Icebreaker

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By *ooianCouple
over a year ago

Padstow

That's the terminology to use. Shouldn't offend anyone.

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By *ease2017Man
over a year ago

Leicester

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

I’m a person of colour and it’s not racism at all it’s a preference. Xxxx

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By *oinus1961Couple
over a year ago

Huntingdon

Isn't racism based on the idea that a particular race is in some way inferior? I don't think any race is inferior. I just dont fancy non Caucasian men. That is preference. I don't much like beards. That's also preference.

My husband doesn't fancy men - is that sexism?

I get bloody cross at my preference being labelled racism. My body my choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Isn't racism based on the idea that a particular race is in some way inferior? I don't think any race is inferior. I just dont fancy non Caucasian men. That is preference. I don't much like beards. That's also preference.

My husband doesn't fancy men - is that sexism?

I get bloody cross at my preference being labelled racism. My body my choice. "
but what choice do you make when you see a white guy you dont fancy?

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By *ay68Man
over a year ago

London

"Well I've just been accused of being racist for using the term 'people of colour' on my profile. I thought this was an okay term to use.

The person has then blocked me so I can't apologise for any offence or ask what term/terms I should be using.

BTW my profile has been the same for months, if not a year and no-one has mentioned this before..."

I think what has caused offence is the fact that in your profile you twice mention that you are not interested in meeting black men.

Nothing wrong with stating your preferences of course, but the male ego is v fragile and can react aggressively to rejection...by calling you a racist for example.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband doesn't fancy men - is that sexism?

I get bloody cross at my preference being labelled racism. My body my choice. "

I think some people play the racist card so that the person will feel guilty and fuck them anyway.

They can call me whatever they like, I don't fuck people like that.

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By *onny1208Couple
over a year ago

Huddersfield

With respect it's the longest drawn out profile I've ever seen and very few people would read it anyway... keep it short sweet Kiss.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

"With respect it's the longest drawn out profile I've ever seen and very few people would read it anyway... keep it short sweet Kiss. "

No profile advice was requested.

There are usually reasons why a profile gets long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband doesn't fancy men - is that sexism?

I get bloody cross at my preference being labelled racism. My body my choice. but what choice do you make when you see a white guy you dont fancy? "

Isn’t that obvious?

She probably deletes the message, sends a polite no thank you, or blocks them.

That’s what I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"With respect it's the longest drawn out profile I've ever seen and very few people would read it anyway... keep it short sweet Kiss. "
a

I personally would much prefer to read a long profile over a “fill in later” profile.

Just goes to show, everyone’s different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably someone being butt hurt about not being able to meet you

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By *he Shads.Couple
over a year ago

Lichfield

To be fair I’m sick off all the PC bullshit in whatever context and can honestly say we don’t give a toss what ethnicity you are or what you identify as.

If you’re a twat then you’re a twat!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So he / she / they blocked you? Not a big deal. You'll always find people that are offended by something.

Just move on and don't get upset by it. It's personal preference.

N x

Thanks

I'm not upset as such, just don't wanna be accused of being a racist. Can't say that's ever happened before.

Ignore them. People throw 'the racist' remark too much on here. I find that more offensive as it detracts from the real racist issues some face day in - day out. It's beyond a joke sometimes. "

I was accused of being racist for politely declining a certain guy I'd never previously had contact with. Blocked him and tend not to sent polite decline messages now.

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