FabSwingers.com forum: Conversing with other members on Fab

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've just been reading a thread about the state of play on Fab, the number of horrednous messages that people have recieved and total lack of understanding about what a site like this offers.

As we know, there are a lot of single guys on here who see it as Insta-Fuck, unable to wrtie more than...

'Fancy a fuck?'

Similarly, there are so many women and couples who are equally short sighted and narrow minded on here.

The problem in my mind is universal.

So, this thread...

I'd like men, who have been verified to give some details on their approach to Fab, how they message members and what their expectatiopns are from their approach and attitude. I'd like women and couple to do the same.

Ultimatele creating a compendium of knowledge that new memnbers, and existing members can be directed to on how to conduct themselves, hints and tips.

As a man, when you message someone, how do you do it, what response do you hope for.

As a woman or couple, the same.

And when you recieve a message, what are you looking for, what makes you want to respond.

For me, all this bad blood between members is so pointless, lets help one another be better, it's the only way really.

Cheers and I hope people engage with this thread.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *YC SausageMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I've just been reading a thread about the state of play on Fab, the number of horrednous messages that people have recieved and total lack of understanding about what a site like this offers.

As we know, there are a lot of single guys on here who see it as Insta-Fuck, unable to wrtie more than...

'Fancy a fuck?'

Similarly, there are so many women and couples who are equally short sighted and narrow minded on here.

The problem in my mind is universal.

So, this thread...

Ultimatele creating a compendium of knowledge that new memnbers, and existing members can be directed to on how to conduct themselves, hints and tips.

As a man, when you message someone, how do you do it, what response do you hope for.

As a woman or couple, the same.

And when you recieve a message, what are you looking for, what makes you want to respond.

For me, all this bad blood between members is so pointless, lets help one another be better, it's the only way really.

Cheers and I hope people engage with this thread."

I approach every message the same. I only message women who have taken the time to create a nice profile. I don’t contact those that just say simple things like “hello” and “looking for an older man”.

Every message is custom for the person I’m sending it to. No copy and paste from me.

All I’m hoping for is a reply, even a copy and paste “no thank you” but I understand some women get 100s if messages a day on here.

The one thing I hate is when they delete the message, no reply, and then block! It’s not like I send multiple messages! Although I do understand that some “fuck boys” will send constant messages, which I think is pointless. What makes you think that if they ignored your previous message, sending another one will get a different response?

And for the record, every time I’ve received a message, I’ve always replied, even if I’m not interested.

Treat others as you wish to be treated

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

Your hearts in the right place OP but the (mainly) guys who really should be reading the feedback and taking the advice given won’t make the effort.

Mostly they can’t even be bothered to re enter their own thread when they’ve asked for profile help, so they’re never going to take on board this sort of information.

To answer the original question, there’s no magic formula, just treat everyone as an individual, write something that shows you’ve read their profile, have a decently shot photo or two.....

99% of success in swinging, as in life, is initial effort. We drive miles to go to clubs and make the effort to talk to people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ltcouple666Couple
over a year ago

cheshire

For us, as a couple, we are looking for friendly people first and foremost....people who don't just want a meet straight away...people who have obviously taken the time to read our profile win bonus points too....arrogance and the "meet now without us even seeing each other's faces" get blocked x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Very happy to converse.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

I only contact single men who have a picture for a profile and not a dick pic they get blocked ... I like a man who has spent time writing his profile hopefully with a bit of humour in it . He has pics but not all dick pics . I then just send a general hello nice profile etc etc . To get it all off the ground he has to respond in a general friendly maybe humorous way ... not respond with hey would love to lick

Your pussy etc etc ... that comes later down the line

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for contributing!

I think you’re right, those that need the advice won’t seek it, but at least there’s somewhere they can find it.

Treat others as they wish to be treated is such a good phrase

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take the time to construct a message based on their profile and giving a bit of info about myself and what im looking for and what i can give in return.

Often these messages are just ignored, which, contary to general consensus is downright rude.

I think this is why some guys end up messaging, 'fancy a fuck'.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heEvilWithinWoman
over a year ago

Barnsley

I think it's a good post BUT everyone wants different things.

I actually don't find couples or women any better than guys. I think couples have the mentality of you're luck if you receive a message from us so we expect you to make the effort. So that gets a delete

What am I looking for:

An intuition from an initial message. I don't look for the same things. A message which gives me an insight into that person. What are they looking for, why are they here, what they liked about my profile, what they can relate to. Honesty, wit, humour, almost a modesty to their message.

I don't really care if people have dick pics or whatever. Doesn't mean they are a bad person.

I won't reply to:

Hi how are you. Want to fuck? Suck my dick? Any message someone wouldn't have the balls to say in person I won't respond to. Some couples out "hi"... I mean hi? Lol.

Really just be honest and true to who you are. The rest will flow naturally.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heEvilWithinWoman
over a year ago

Barnsley

Put*

Lucky*

Excuse the typos

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ryanythingonce7274Couple
over a year ago

Hampshire

Totally agree. We have met single men and they are a high number that I'd like to watch with my wife but they often fail at the first hurdle. Not reading profile, one line introduction, getting frustrated if we've not responded within 5 mins, come to my hotel, I can come to you 200 miles away. The ones that win are normally the ones that can hold a conversation with male and female, show some respect and non of the above. Its not hard really, but winks and friend requests just gets deleted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find treating people on here just as you would if you bumped into them in a pub, if “fancy a fuck” wouldn’t work in the real world then it’s not going to work on here

I’ve never cut and pasted messages, be respectful, don’t bombard people with messages, we all have work, family, life to balance, just be patient

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it's a good post BUT everyone wants different things. "

Exactly what I think, hence asking the question

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *istress CockneyWoman
over a year ago

LONDON

I always respond to a well written message where it clearly shows they have read my profile.

If people put some effort in so will I even if not my cuppa.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me as a single female who only plays in clubs.

- I never ever message anyone first. Don't want to lead anyone on by doing so.

- I respond with polite declines to those that took the effort to even read the first couple of lines of my profile.

- one worded messages, a copy n paste job, rude, weird, asked for private meet messages don't get a response but an instant delete. Guys asking why I only like back and surly all cocks are the same in ant colour gets a block. Also if I haven't responded in the past and failed to block you first time and I get an identical message a week later or if I get several messages in a short space of time and I didn't respond I BLOCK. I'm ruthless with the block button as it allows me to control my own profile inbox and stops all awkward conversations or possible ignorance from others.

- I've actually got some cracking conversations with guys of all races going and as and when I'm in the same club as them I'd gladly say hi and chat to them, possibly more but no promises. If the conversation flows and you can speak to me like a normal person and not a fuck machine then my preference are subjective.

- I won't be pushed into any situation by anyone no matter how hot or not, couples or singles.

-all friends request are not deleted to stop them from requesting again. It works. I only accept friends request by people who made the effort to hold a proper convo or I've met them.

- all winks I look at but I never do anything with them unless someone I know is winking me... Then I wink back as they know my style and humour.

- views I may or may not check it out but it only shows the last 100 views and given that I get between 500-1000 views a day I'll assume those that looked read my profile, where just perving, I wasn't their type or whatever so I never pay much attention to this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I kind of simply send a message saying I am ready to fuck you, drop everything and be ready for me in 1hr. If they don't respond or say it's a No, I simply reply back I wouldn't touch you with a 10ft clown pole you hippopotopig.

Turns out fab is full of hippopotopigs who won't meet. I assuming therefore 99% of the female profiles are fake. Still if at first you dont succeed keep trying. So I never let a negative reply/no reply stop me from trying 10 more times. I'm sure my persistence will pay off one day being God's gift and all. Ladies keep an eye out in your inbox for your message from me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I kind of simply send a message saying I am ready to fuck you, drop everything and be ready for me in 1hr. If they don't respond or say it's a No, I simply reply back I wouldn't touch you with a 10ft clown pole you hippopotopig.

LMFAO

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its difficult, right at the top of my page it says in bold ' no longer looking for meets just here for the forums' as I have met someone and we want to be exclusive. But I love the forums and don't want to delete my account. Yet today I have two dozen messages asking to meet. I can't reply to all saying not meeting so I just delete as they should have read my profile, I don't think I'm rude, I just expect guys to have actually read what I have put. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for contributing!

I think you’re right, those that need the advice won’t seek it, but at least there’s somewhere they can find it.

Treat others as they wish to be treated is such a good phrase"

I don't like it when people give advice. If men are the type to think all they have to do is demand a fuck, then I don't want to ever meet them.

If someone gives them advice how to be better then someone might end up meeting them because they think they're decent, even though they're not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its difficult, right at the top of my page it says in bold ' no longer looking for meets just here for the forums' as I have met someone and we want to be exclusive. But I love the forums and don't want to delete my account. Yet today I have two dozen messages asking to meet. I can't reply to all saying not meeting so I just delete as they should have read my profile, I don't think I'm rude, I just expect guys to have actually read what I have put. X"

If you take men off your looking for list it takes you off the searches. Reduces mail to almost nothing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

London & North Wessex Downs

Well done - great topic. I think the secret is just to be a human being, and talk/ message almost as you would on other (non-sexual) social media. The good people on here want to meet other people - not just willies or boobs that talk!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well done - great topic. I think the secret is just to be a human being, and talk/ message almost as you would on other (non-sexual) social media. The good people on here want to meet other people - not just willies or boobs that talk!"

Yes, precisely, it’s not just random firing into the dark, there are people on the other end of the messages that get sent.

I always think, would I say that to someone in the street I’d just met, face to face?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *blasiansCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Good topic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was looking for new meets, I would rarely send a message, on the very odd occasion I did. It was always focussed on the profile and more often that not, focussed on a status update. Then I would always attach a face pic. It was rare I had a response from messages, which I understand. Most of my meets have been as a result of conversations in chat, where I treat people like humans and nearly always have a web cam pointing at my face. These days I just use chat to keep in touch with friends and have a laugh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arkb73Man
over a year ago

Cheshire/Staffs

It all boils down to how you look - nothing else matters on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It all boils down to how you look - nothing else matters on here "

This is true. It’s about fulfilling fantasies after all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arkb73Man
over a year ago

Cheshire/Staffs

"It all boils down to how you look - nothing else matters on here

This is true. It’s about fulfilling fantasies after all. "

Glad you agree

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It all boils down to how you look - nothing else matters on here "

Would you fuck someone you don't fancy?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arkb73Man
over a year ago

Cheshire/Staffs

"It all boils down to how you look - nothing else matters on here

Would you fuck someone you don't fancy?"

No - did I suggest that I would?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I read the message sent and check the senders profile. I dislike pressure or one sided expectations as it must be about us all.

A light first message that shares something of the senders, shows interest and helps someone to stand out is a great start. When so many message, potentially for a long time before getting to meet, being memorable really helps you. Be memorable for the right reasons.

You need to sustain interest for a long period, so stay upbeat. Each person in contact with me is a picture of fab at the micro level - it's not as easy for many single men as they want, nor is it instant fucking, with low effort.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It all boils down to how you look - nothing else matters on here

Would you fuck someone you don't fancy?

No - did I suggest that I would? "

No, just wondering.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find treating people on here just as you would if you bumped into them in a pub, if “fancy a fuck” wouldn’t work in the real world then it’s not going to work on here

I’ve never cut and pasted messages, be respectful, don’t bombard people with messages, we all have work, family, life to balance, just be patient

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you take men off your looking for list it takes you off the searches. Reduces mail to almost nothing.

Thank you! I didn't know I could do that, that's going to make it easier..there's loads of features on here I dont know yet x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So glad that people are getting some useful info from this thread.

Mwah x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"It all boils down to how you look - nothing else matters on here "

Lots of guys on here that facially I fancy the pants off but due to me disliking how they come across in conversation I would not meet in a million years. There are also guys which are not my usual type that I click so well with when chatting that I would be wiling to have a social with to see how we get on, so I majorly disagree.

The fact that alot of women get 100s of messages a day even when they have no pictures on their profile would show alot of men obviously disagree with you too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us there are a few put of points.

First those messages that don't acknowledge that we are a couple get binned. If the sender is not even bothered to say hi to MT as well as Boo why should we be polite to them

Secondly. Those that contact us that are not what we looking for. We clearly state looking for bi men and and not straight men

Thirdly and message that is disrespectful to either of us. For us nice cunt is not respectful message ... Etc.

If we get out a well thought out message that is polite and respectful we will respond even if sorry not for us.

At this point what we don't expect is a load of abuse or pleading messages. I.e why not me what's wrong with me or the one that annoys me the most that's a real shame you don't know what your missing. It's not a shame as we did not want to meet them lol.

I think nice thought out messages with a respectful tone will always do you well.

Just remember if someone does not respond you have had your answer and move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oung At Heart 73Man
over a year ago

Near the seaside

"For us there are a few put of points.

First those messages that don't acknowledge that we are a couple get binned. If the sender is not even bothered to say hi to MT as well as Boo why should we be polite to them

. "

How can people not acknowledge MT, he has a great body and cute bum, from the pictures I'm seeing you both get my full acknowledgement, just a shame most of the site doesn't have a mind like mine

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arkb73Man
over a year ago

Cheshire/Staffs

"It all boils down to how you look - nothing else matters on here

The fact that alot of women get 100s of messages a day even when they have no pictures on their profile would show alot of men obviously disagree with you too."

Ok - you disagree - great

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ogNMuseCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

"It all boils down to how you look - nothing else matters on here

This is true. It’s about fulfilling fantasies after all. "

Not sure that is entirely true, you still need to be able to converse with people on some level. Looks might open the door, but how you interact is what gets you through the doorway.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread