FabSwingers.com forum: SLUT OR SWINGER??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?"

One of them will fuck a guy who asks them a question like that and the other one probably won't...

I don't mind being treated like a slut occasionally by someone who doesn't THINK I'm one...there IS a difference...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?"

......good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

See.. I thought there was a difference.. I was just curious as I may be on here for swinging, but to be fair.. Im not looking to just meet sluts or women that put it about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can find a woman in a nightclub or pub who PUTS IT ABOUT like u say,good luck finding any woman who wants to meet u with tht way of thinking,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well as women are on here solely looking for shags, I would say there wasn't a difference.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"See.. I thought there was a difference.. I was just curious as I may be on here for swinging, but to be fair.. Im not looking to just meet sluts or women that put it about

and men who put it about are ?

how someone describes themselves is one thing, how people choose to describe each others is a totally different one in my book.....

if someone shags about, that is their choice and mine to meet them or not. I would choose not to describe as a slut.

but the tapestry here is a colourful one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See.. I thought there was a difference.. I was just curious as I may be on here for swinging, but to be fair.. Im not looking to just meet sluts or women that put it about

So 'you' want to swing.... but not with women that 'put it about'?

Swinging is about having a liberal sex life, you aren't going to find many virgins on here who offer 'exclusivity'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See.. I thought there was a difference.. I was just curious as I may be on here for swinging, but to be fair.. Im not looking to just meet sluts or women that put it about

You clearly didn't understand what I said...the difference is in how YOU perceive her or jow she percives herself..."putting it about" as you so eloquently put it, is relative...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"See.. I thought there was a difference.. I was just curious as I may be on here for swinging, but to be fair.. Im not looking to just meet sluts or women that put it about

So 'you' want to swing.... but not with women that 'put it about'?

Swinging is about having a liberal sex life, you aren't going to find many virgins on here who offer 'exclusivity'."

No I didn't meet like that at all (seems to of worded this wrong)

I mean, I like to swing yes, but there are still morals or ethics to it in my book..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?"

Dangerous post!! Guess to me a slut will fuck anything, but a swinger is more selective. Plenty of guys on here that I would class as sluts rather than swingers as a few do have an 'any hole's a goal' mentality, otherwise why would you message profiles with no pics and no previous communication asking straight away if a woman wanted a fuck?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a discerning slut!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I thought this would create a interesting topic lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?

thank you!! you get what im on about :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought this would create a interesting topic lol"

Do you have hooves and dwell under a bridge?

Posting topics to stir on forums is very big and clever

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By *stwoCouple
over a year ago

anywhere

not even worth making up an answer for this one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its not stirring as certainly was intended to get anyone's back up..

Can a person not just ask a community what there _iews are on a subject?

Otherwise how is someone to know how others _iew something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

In my mind-and this is the way ive always thought, a "slut" is a woman who sleeps with men purely to impress them or "hook" them. Swingers appreciate sex and are looking for mutual satisfaction, but thats just my opinion. Being a student you see that most people see sex as a naughty thing my age, and that most of the girls sleep with the men to try and get a boyfriend, rather than for their own benefit-which to me is being a slut.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

was NOT intended*

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Its not stirring as certainly was intended to get anyone's back up..

Can a person not just ask a community what there _iews are on a subject?

Otherwise how is someone to know how others _iew something?"

I wasn't offended by the question.

welcome to the site and the forums. enjoy your time and have a lot of fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do people even try to answer this guy? Guys like him should be on here think its offensive Got a few names I could call him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

So you would say that just purely to get guys in and get there own satisfaction would be a slut(I should of choose a better word to be honest) and someone who does it for the love of mutual pleasure would be more classed a swinger?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?"

a sluts something that 15 years olds call each other a swingers the expression adults use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me a slut is someone I'd tie up and use. A swinger on the other hand I'd be looking to have a drink, a laugh, and a shag with!

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do people even try to answer this guy? Guys like him should be on here think its offensive Got a few names I could call him"

If you think its offensive thats just your choice.. Sorry it upset you, was only a question lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

so only women are sluts then? so whats a man called who only sleeps with women to impress or hook them? or dont men do that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To me a slut is someone I'd tie up and use. A swinger on the other hand I'd be looking to have a drink, a laugh, and a shag with!

Wolf

I like that answer..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not stirring as certainly was intended to get anyone's back up..

Can a person not just ask a community what there _iews are on a subject?

Otherwise how is someone to know how others _iew something?"

The fact you put "lol" at the end of your post makes it look like you find responses to your OP humorous, does it not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And can see why you have met no one on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

so only women are sluts then? so whats a man called who only sleeps with women to impress or hook them? or dont men do that

Sorry my bad, I just asked it from my perspective but yes your right men are equally as bad or even worse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its not stirring as certainly was intended to get anyone's back up..

Can a person not just ask a community what there _iews are on a subject?

Otherwise how is someone to know how others _iew something?

The fact you put "lol" at the end of your post makes it look like you find responses to your OP humorous, does it not?"

Yes I do find some of them a little funny tbh, I was just hoping for some good honest feedback.. Didnt expect it to turn into some slagging messages as some have chosen to post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

so only women are sluts then? so whats a man called who only sleeps with women to impress or hook them? or dont men do that

Sorry my bad, I just asked it from my perspective but yes your right men are equally as bad or even worse.

nope, in my experience they are equaly as good

my glass is always half full

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

so only women are sluts then? so whats a man called who only sleeps with women to impress or hook them? or dont men do that

Sorry my bad, I just asked it from my perspective but yes your right men are equally as bad or even worse.

I seriously think you should stop digging now...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/02/12 12:39:28]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

so only women are sluts then? so whats a man called who only sleeps with women to impress or hook them? or dont men do that

Sorry my bad, I just asked it from my perspective but yes your right men are equally as bad or even worse.

I seriously think you should stop digging now...

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope, in my experience they are equaly as good

my glass is always half full

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/02/12 12:43:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

Not really no. It is hard to explain but i think that slut is such a hard word to define and like someone said above just a juvenile word. On here, slut can mean a whole number of different things and is quite often used to describe someone who is being submissive (but not in a derogatory sense) and both parties enjoy that (me included!) but in the non swinging world it has a totally differnt meaning and i think, with the exception of a few people on here who just want to fuck anything that breathes for the sake of it, people know what they are doing and are here to socialise and please and be pleased so no one who fits into that category is a "slut". Sorry for the long answer but it is hard to explain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

so only women are sluts then? so whats a man called who only sleeps with women to impress or hook them? or dont men do that

Oh no, mean do that-should have made my answer gender neutral sorry

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?"

none, they are simply different words for someone who has sex freely. i am proud of being a slut, not at all sure i am a swinger.

The word slut is used to attack women for behaving in a manner that patriarchal society finds threatening, i quite like the idea of threatening idiots

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?"

none, they are simply different words for someone who has sex freely. i am proud of being a slut, not at all sure i am a swinger.

The word slut is used to attack women for behaving in a manner that patriarchal society finds threatening, i quite like the idea of threatening idiots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Said this was a dangerous post!

Your first mistake was being a single guy, and as such you are of course on here to cause upset and generally waste people's time! Had a single female posted this, the replies probably wouldn't have been as hostile, and would have included plenty reassurance to the poster that she shouldn't _iew herself as a slut.

The second mistake is that some people, regardless of how long they have been swinging, are sensitive to how closely Slut and Swinger are _iewed to people out of the swinging lifestyle. Both Sluts and Swingers have sex for pleasure...otherwise what would be the point!...but the key difference is selectivity and usually not being so d*unk you have no idea who you're fucking!

If you are on here to cause upset, congratulations you managed it with some people! I somehow doubt you are, and perhaps didn't really think your post through properly before you put it up on the forums. Maybe think a little more carefully about questions you ask in future and phrase them a little bit better!!

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"To me a slut is someone I'd tie up and use. A swinger on the other hand I'd be looking to have a drink, a laugh, and a shag with!

Wolf

i imagined i could do both with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not stirring as certainly was intended to get anyone's back up..

Can a person not just ask a community what there _iews are on a subject?

Otherwise how is someone to know how others _iew something?

The fact you put "lol" at the end of your post makes it look like you find responses to your OP humorous, does it not?

Yes I do find some of them a little funny tbh, I was just hoping for some good honest feedback.. Didnt expect it to turn into some slagging messages as some have chosen to post"

I'll leave you to it.

Just remind yourself that there are swinging ladies using this site that are not going to like you comparing them to sluts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No my thinking isnt of a bad way at all.. I just honestly wondered

No thats cool

these are the answers I was looking for rather than getting grilled, I should choose how I word things in the future much better as I clearly made a little mess up there

Thank you

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"See.. I thought there was a difference.. I was just curious as I may be on here for swinging, but to be fair.. Im not looking to just meet sluts or women that put it about

How judgmental can you be....whats wrong with women who just put it about...google slut shaming and start rethinking your attitudes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Said this was a dangerous post!

No I agree, Defo spend a lil more time choosing my words next time. didnt think it was going to turn into this at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Labels labels bloody labels

Ok so a women likes sex ye gods thats what we were ALL designed for

Take away the crap invented and imposed by society get down to the basics of life and there are two main instincts

Survival (by eating) and reproduction

Thats why we are ALL here no matter what anyone thinks

Every time anyone calls a woman a slag slut or worse and a man a stud etc

They actually insult life itself in my eyes

We are here for a finite number of years and then we die end of

Does it really matter what we do in that time??

All this crap about straight men not being able to suck cock cause then they not straight

All this crap about sluts and swingers being no different

Why the hell we cant just all enjoy the diversity of life and get on with it without label fook knows

Lets celebrate life not label it xx

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"well as women are on here solely looking for shags, I would say there wasn't a difference."

well in my experience they are not just looking for shags - they are looking for something which you wouldnt get by just picking a guy up in a bar.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"See.. I thought there was a difference.. I was just curious as I may be on here for swinging, but to be fair.. Im not looking to just meet sluts or women that put it about

How judgmental can you be....whats wrong with women who just put it about...google slut shaming and start rethinking your attitudes

As I said. I chose the wrong words for what I ment. Sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Said this was a dangerous post!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I class myself as a swinger but the things that I have done are and make me feel slutty...

Does that make me a swinger or a slut? The answer I don't give a shit...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To me a slut is someone I'd tie up and use. A swinger on the other hand I'd be looking to have a drink, a laugh, and a shag with!

Wolf

See I did think the same thing with slut myself, but was pretty sure that wasn't the kind of slut he meant!!

Isn't it weird how differently people can interpret words...I don't mind the word Slut to be honest, but despise the word Slag, when in a playground they mean pretty much the same thing!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?"

So you wondered if there was any difference between a slut and a swinger?

Tell me...... why are you on a swingers site if you don't want to have sex with a woman who 'puts it about' and is a 'slut'?

Desperation?

You think we are easy shags?

Endear me with your wisdom because up to now....... all I am seeing is a small minded egit who thinks that women swingers are easy meat and should be labelled with a vindictive name because they choose to have sex with more than one person.

Or did you just phrase your original question badly on purpose so as to cause a ruckous on here so that you could then bemoan the fact that swingers are not open to idiotic questioning?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Hi ShockMeKinky,

Thanks for the post. It's a good question and itelligently put.

It's a bit of a shame that some are apparently unable to see the difference between a question and a statement and tried to use you as a stepping stone up their ephemoral moral ladder.

I'm not going to answer the question - yet at least.

I was impressed by your ability to keep responding to others without losing it and without pointing out their shortcomings.

I also think one or two did a good job of responding with clear non personal opinions.

I'm going to give it good thought now as it's something i often ponder, particularly as some now think that swinging covers just about any perversion under the sun.

thanks again for a good Q

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I class myself as a swinger but the things that I have done are and make me feel slutty...

Does that make me a swinger or a slut? The answer I don't give a shit...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?

So you wondered if there was any difference between a slut and a swinger?

Tell me...... why are you on a swingers site if you don't want to have sex with a woman who 'puts it about' and is a 'slut'?

Desperation?

You think we are easy shags?

Or did you just phrase your original question badly on purpose so as to cause a ruckous on here so that you could then bemoan the fact that swingers are not open to idiotic questioning?"

I give up.. I really do.. if you read the whole post you will see what I ment

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi ShockMeKinky,

Thanks for the post. It's a good question and itelligently put.

It's a bit of a shame that some are apparently unable to see the difference between a question and a statement and tried to use you as a stepping stone up their ephemoral moral ladder.

I'm not going to answer the question - yet at least.

I was impressed by your ability to keep responding to others without losing it and without pointing out their shortcomings.

I also think one or two did a good job of responding with clear non personal opinions.

I'm going to give it good thought now as it's something i often ponder, particularly as some now think that swinging covers just about any perversion under the sun.

thanks again for a good Q "

Thank you for understanding it as a question

I look forward to your answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?"

Hmmmm there's a hornets nest over there, lets go smash it and see the results!!!

Probably a similar result to asking a question like that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Just like to point out that the OP has said a couple of times that he chose his words badly and that hes sorry as he did'nt think it would cause such a response

Just saying because people never seem to notice these things and prefer to react with outrage instead of giving a reasoned response that could be educational for him

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

YOu know .......some don't want to see. Don't apologise for asking a question.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Isn't it weird how differently people can interpret words...I don't mind the word Slut to be honest, but despise the word Slag, when in a playground they mean pretty much the same thing!"

Ooh, I would ever call someone a slag.. I agree that too is a really low word for some to be called

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op - what is your definition of a slut?

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"well as women are on here solely looking for shags, I would say there wasn't a difference."

Speak for yourself

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just like to point out that the OP has said a couple of times that he chose his words badly and that hes sorry as he did'nt think it would cause such a response

Just saying because people never seem to notice these things and prefer to react with outrage instead of giving a reasoned response that could be educational for him"

Thank you for noticing

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Just like to point out that the OP has said a couple of times that he chose his words badly and that hes sorry as he did'nt think it would cause such a response

Just saying because people never seem to notice these things and prefer to react with outrage instead of giving a reasoned response that could be educational for him"

I did read the whole thread.

I'd still like to know why he is on a swingers site..........

And what he thinks the difference between a slut and a swinger is........

**Personally, I don't think the OP worded his original question badly, I personally suspect he worded it exactly how he wanted it to sound and now he's backtracking.

But then I'm a cynical bitch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?"

That's a good question

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?"

Someone who sleeps around regardless of who its with and with no moral reason for doing so other than to just have sex with as many as possible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i can understand a lot of peoples points of _iews but come off it how many people have assumed tht if u swing ur sleep with anybody n anything,thats what i think people have taken offensive to myself where the comment puts it about,well all i can say id i choose very carefully who i meet up with n dont just meet anyone,like clumsy said its a lot to do with his wording n way question was asked

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?

Someone who sleeps around regardless of who its with and with no moral reason for doing so other than to just have sex with as many as possible"

I know some female swingers who see sex as just sex, regardless of who it is with and will have sex with anyone.......gangbangs and greedy girl nights being their favourites. Their partners are always present and they also swing with couples etc, they visit clubs and go to parties........

Does that make them sluts or swingers in the true sense of the word?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?

Someone who sleeps around regardless of who its with and with no moral reason for doing so other than to just have sex with as many as possible"

In that case, that makes me a swinger.... far from being a slut.

.....there are loads of swingers on here, evidence is in the sheer mass of threads started by single males whinging that they can't get any meets

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

For me one is caused by being desperate to be loved and accepted and the other is an empowerment for fulfilling THEIR desires.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?

Someone who sleeps around regardless of who its with and with no moral reason for doing so other than to just have sex with as many as possible"

So how would you define someone who lets say has a gangbang is that a swinger or a slut?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since you worded the question wrongly can you re-write the question how you wish to word it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?

Someone who sleeps around regardless of who its with and with no moral reason for doing so other than to just have sex with as many as possible"

Oooh me then xx

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?

Someone who sleeps around regardless of who its with and with no moral reason for doing so other than to just have sex with as many as possible

So how would you define someone who lets say has a gangbang is that a swinger or a slut?

I personally think he has just defined the gang bangers and the greedy girls..... as sluts!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"For me one is caused by being desperate to be loved and accepted and the other is an empowerment for fulfilling THEIR desires. "

Excellent definition and one I fully agree with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?

Someone who sleeps around regardless of who its with and with no moral reason for doing so other than to just have sex with as many as possible

Oooh me then xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is wrong with people who like to have as much sex as possible, without knowing the names of the people they have had sex with?

It may not be everyone's cup of tea, however, is it wrong?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me one is caused by being desperate to be loved and accepted and the other is an empowerment for fulfilling THEIR desires. "

Well put...like the empowerment bit!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me one is caused by being desperate to be loved and accepted and the other is an empowerment for

fulfilling THEIR desires. "

That was almost what i was trying to say, but id add that one appreciates and respects their partner (s)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I am a bit of both then. Fussy on a 1:1 basis, not so much in a group situation. I will label myself accordingly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So how would you define someone who lets say has a gangbang is that a swinger or a slut?

These are the things im asking the community but I would like to think that they would be arranged or planed and safe ect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is wrong with people who like to have as much sex as possible, without knowing the names of the people they have had sex with?

It may not be everyone's cup of tea, however, is it wrong?!

Nope cause it aint but only to the people who see it like that

Its personal choice and we all have it

Anonymous gangbangs,group sex and the like are a personal favorite of mine

It dosent then mean i can have a meaningful one to one meet either though xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oooh me then xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me one is caused by being desperate to be loved and accepted and the other is an empowerment for fulfilling THEIR desires. "

Nice answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well i can only have sex with people i like ....... i cant open my legs and think of England , lol if that makes me a slut i really dont care x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"well i can only have sex with people i like ....... i cant open my legs and think of England , lol if that makes me a slut i really dont care x"

See to me that would be a swinger

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Historically slut mean dirty woman or slovenly woman who didn't keep a tidy place. At one time serving calls were called sluts and it wasn't meant as an insult it was their station in life. It appears in one form or another across Europe but like all words it has come to change meaning over time.

Recent history sees the word used to name a woman who is sexually promiscuous and this is where the concept muddies for me .....

Isn't promiscuity subjective?

Also the term couldn't be applied to men years ago but with the advent of less social and political stranglehold on women we do now call men sluts though we tend to smirk or laugh when we say it and men accept it as some sort of macho compliment or sign that he is getting his quota.

There will be people that swingers will lable as prudish and prudes that will lable swingers sluts.

For me I think it is possible to get sluts who are swingers and swingers who are sluts.

I've ended up concluding that swingers think everything they do is just fine and excusable and use awful phrases like i.m.h.o or each to their own and sluts don't exist cos it's all personal perception.

Interestingly ( im unconcluding ) the words slut and whore are used by masters and those of the same ilk and slaves and subs seem to like it. So I guess it's got a place as a derogatory term in psychological sex play.

So .... slut is a derogatory term for promiscuous women or women _iewed as having little worth and in are simply vessels to be abused even if she likes it really

I don't think of myself as a slut. I'm stable and make my own choices for sex partners. Somehow the word slut makes me think of a pathetic used and abused woman. It's less to do with the amount of sex or sexual partners she has than how men in society _iew her.

Slut is a masculine issue.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Hi ShockMeKinky,

Thanks for the post. It's a good question and itelligently put.

It's a bit of a shame that some are apparently unable to see the difference between a question and a statement and tried to use you as a stepping stone up their ephemoral moral ladder.

I'm not going to answer the question - yet at least.

I was impressed by your ability to keep responding to others without losing it and without pointing out their shortcomings.

I also think one or two did a good job of responding with clear non personal opinions.

I'm going to give it good thought now as it's something i often ponder, particularly as some now think that swinging covers just about any perversion under the sun.

thanks again for a good Q "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And can see why you have met no one on here"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?

Someone who sleeps around regardless of who its with and with no moral reason for doing so other than to just have sex with as many as possible"

I guess I'm a swinger with a bit of slut in me!! I am selective about who I meet, but I am enjoying having sex with a lot of different guys with different things to offer.

I've been toying with the gangbang idea, but I think I would have to select guys I found attractive...so maybe just a picky slut? Who knows! I guess the difference between Slut and Swinger and it's all down to personal interpretation of the words and the situation you want to apply them to?

So long as it's all consensual fun where all parties are happy does it really matter? Maybe contradicting myself a bit there, but so what! I'm on here for fun, both mine and whichever guy I choose to invite into my boudoir(!)...if that makes me a slut in some people eyes then so be it! I've been called worse, and am sure I'll be called worse in the future!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Historically slut mean dirty woman or slovenly woman who didn't keep a tidy place. At one time serving calls were called sluts and it wasn't meant as an insult it was their station in life. It appears in one form or another across Europe but like all words it has come to change meaning over time.

Recent history sees the word used to name a woman who is sexually promiscuous and this is where the concept muddies for me .....

Isn't promiscuity subjective?

There will be people that swingers will lable as prudish and prudes that will lable swingers sluts.

For me I think it is possible to get sluts who are swingers and swingers who are sluts.

So .... slut is a derogatory term for promiscuous women or women _iewed as having little worth and in are simply vessels to be abused even if she likes it really

Slut is a masculine issue. "

Brilliant Answer!! Well said

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Present thoughts.......

Ever noticed in a public slanging match how the woman shouting 'You fat ugly slag' is usually a fat ugly slag ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?

Someone who sleeps around regardless of who its with and with no moral reason for doing so other than to just have sex with as many as possible

I guess I'm a swinger with a bit of slut in me!! I am selective about who I meet, but I am enjoying having sex with a lot of different guys with different things to offer.

See again that makes me think Swinger over slut, mostly for the reasons of you are able to choose between the two and think of others rather than just youself

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"And can see why you have met no one on here

+1"

with all due respect, the guy has been here for 4 weeks, he acknowledged a badly worded OP. He has carried himself off well in the face of the usual onslaught. He has not been rude to any poster, he has tried to put his point across and has done so in a dignified fashion.

I for one hope he gets lots of meets, gets more comfortable with the forums/the site and enjoys every minute.

the same, I wish for all..........

and true, if he had a vagina... he most certainly would have had a meet within the 4 week timeframe.

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By *rs and mr sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

Boldon

"Labels labels bloody labels

Ok so a women likes sex ye gods thats what we were ALL designed for

Take away the crap invented and imposed by society get down to the basics of life and there are two main instincts

Survival (by eating) and reproduction

Thats why we are ALL here no matter what anyone thinks

Every time anyone calls a woman a slag slut or worse and a man a stud etc

They actually insult life itself in my eyes

We are here for a finite number of years and then we die end of

Does it really matter what we do in that time??

All this crap about straight men not being able to suck cock cause then they not straight

All this crap about sluts and swingers being no different

Why the hell we cant just all enjoy the diversity of life and get on with it without label fook knows

Lets celebrate life not label it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi ShockMeKinky,

Thanks for the post. It's a good question and itelligently put.

It's a bit of a shame that some are apparently unable to see the difference between a question and a statement and tried to use you as a stepping stone up their ephemoral moral ladder.

I'm not going to answer the question - yet at least.

I was impressed by your ability to keep responding to others without losing it and without pointing out their shortcomings.

I also think one or two did a good job of responding with clear non personal opinions.

I'm going to give it good thought now as it's something i often ponder, particularly as some now think that swinging covers just about any

perversion under the sun.

thanks again for a good Q

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So woman that have gang bangs not knowing whos going to be there or care ?? Thay diffrent? I may like a group if i new them all and liked them . I dont think it makes people slags liking sex ... I dont like the word .

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk

Has anyone read The Ethical Slut?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And can see why you have met no one on here

I for one hope he gets lots of meets, gets more comfortable with the forums/the site and enjoys every minute.

the same, I wish for all..........

and true, if he had a vagina... he most certainly would have had a meet within the 4 week timeframe."

+1 xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So how would you define someone who lets say has a gangbang is that a swinger or a slut?

These are the things im asking the community but I would like to think that they would be arranged or planed and safe ect"

So in this made up gangbang what if there was only an attraction with some of the people that attended but not all of them does that make some of them swingers and some of them sluts or a part of you a swinger and part of you a slut even though they are all doing the same thing?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And can see why you have met no one on here

I for one hope he gets lots of meets, gets more comfortable with the forums/the site and enjoys every minute.

the same, I wish for all..........

and true, if he had a vagina... he most certainly would have had a meet within the 4 week timeframe."

Thanking you

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Has anyone read The Ethical Slut?"

No who wrote it ?

Have you read it ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So how would you define someone who lets say has a gangbang is that a swinger or a slut?

These are the things im asking the community but I would like to think that they would be arranged or planed and safe ect

Honestly I do not know, I asked the question just to find out the answers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So woman that have gang bangs not knowing whos going to be there or care ?? Thay diffrent? I may like a group if i new them all and liked them . I dont think it makes people slags liking sex ... I dont like the word . "

I hate the word slag, its one of the lowest word you could use in my thoughts.

But I do not know the answer to your question thats why I was asking hun.

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk

Yes It' s good read, link below

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate the word slag, its one of the lowest word you could use in my thoughts.

But I do not know the answer to your question thats why I was asking hun."
I think the answer is people are all diffrent and sex is not the same for everyone .... its just SEX . Some people values are diffrent .

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Yes It' s good read, link below

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut"

I just looked it up on Amazon thanks ..... good synopsis there too. Might buy it and give it a read.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I hate the word slag, its one of the lowest word you could use in my thoughts.

But I do not know the answer to your question thats why I was asking hun."

I'd rather be called a slag than 'hun'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate the word slag, its one of the lowest word you could use in my thoughts.

But I do not know the answer to your question thats why I was asking hun.

I'd rather be called a slag than 'hun' "
i dont like hun or slag ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ill be your slut xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ill be your slut xx

"
well i may like to play that game too , lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate the word slag, its one of the lowest word you could use in my thoughts.

But I do not know the answer to your question thats why I was asking hun.

I'd rather be called a slag than 'hun' "

ooops...I have a habit of using the word hun!! covers so many situations though...and stops you having to remember the name of all those men!! (ps that last bit is a joke for those who'll want to jump on it!) x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I hate the word slag, its one of the lowest word you could use in my thoughts.

But I do not know the answer to your question thats why I was asking hun.

I'd rather be called a slag than 'hun' "

Really :O Sorry :P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate the word slag, its one of the lowest word you could use in my thoughts.

But I do not know the answer to your question thats why I was asking hun. I think the answer is people are all diffrent and sex is not the same for everyone .... its just SEX . Some people values are diffrent . "

think that is the main thing really...everything is down to personal interpretation. I can see the excitement of having an anonymous gangbang, but I don't think it's something I personally would be happy with. It doesn't mean I think any less of a woman (or man) that takes part in it, and maybe I am missing out in some way, but that would be my personal choice. To me a huge part of swinging is having that choice to do what makes you (and any other parties involved) happy...it's all about personal choice, and about being able to accept other peoples choices even if you may not make that same choice!

Guess the key thing really is Swinging = Choice...and respecting the choices of others x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you can find a woman in a nightclub or pub who PUTS IT ABOUT like u say,good luck finding any woman who wants to meet u with tht way of thinking,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you can find a woman in a nightclub or pub who PUTS IT ABOUT like u say,good luck finding any woman who wants to meet u with tht way of thinking,

You should read the whole post

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I hate the word slag, its one of the lowest word you could use in my thoughts.

Guess the key thing really is Swinging = Choice...and respecting the choices of others x"

Again another great answer

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Swinger-Slut,... I can only speak for myself.

I'm a swinger in public.. and a slut in private Hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Swinger-Slut,... I can only speak for myself.

I'm a swinger in public.. and a slut in private Hahahaha"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Swinger-Slut,... I can only speak for myself.

I'm a swinger in public.. and a slut in private Hahahaha"

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Said this was a dangerous post!

What feckin' planet are you from?

Honestly?

Is this a dumb wind-up?

Have I taken the bait here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Said this was a dangerous post!

What feckin' planet are you from?

Honestly?

Is this a dumb wind-up?

Have I taken the bait here?

Planet Earth last time I checked!! What bait are you referring to? Which part of my opinion don't you agree with and instead of referring to me as dumb we can have an intelligent conversation about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And can see why you have met no one on here

I for one hope he gets lots of meets, gets more comfortable with the forums/the site and enjoys every minute.

the same, I wish for all..........

and true, if he had a vagina... he most certainly would have had a meet within the 4 week timeframe.

+1 xx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No fishy .... it's really really reel.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Said this was a dangerous post!

What feckin' planet are you from?

Honestly?

Is this a dumb wind-up?

Have I taken the bait here?

No one called you dumb.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Said this was a dangerous post!

What feckin' planet are you from?

Honestly?

Is this a dumb wind-up?

Have I taken the bait here?

I doubt I could have an intelligent conversation with anyone who even attempts to differentiate between being a swinger and a derogatory name by the simple belief of ‘being picky’… whilst happy to depict other women as ‘sluts’for not having the same selection standards.

It's a fucking joke!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Said this was a dangerous post!

What feckin' planet are you from?

Honestly?

Is this a dumb wind-up?

Have I taken the bait here?

No one called you dumb.

See how easily something can be misinterpreted to be offensive!!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No one called you dumb.

I'm glad you can read Granny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Said this was a dangerous post!

What feckin' planet are you from?

Honestly?

Is this a dumb wind-up?

Have I taken the bait here?

It's a fucking joke!"

I never specified women. And I personally don't use words such as slut etc in a derogatory way, I was responding to the post and how I felt the op was referring to a Slut. I have commented later on how it's all down to personal choice and how differently people interpret words and their meaning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we love playing with the sluts but at £1 for 3 goes i,d love 5 shagging goes for a £1 but then i,m a male slut me mrs tells me that i,m a slut machine lets all play the slut machines

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*yawn*

I didn't know we were still in the playground, I thought this was a swingers site?

Why oh why are we talking about studid immature labels? Come on op grow up for goodness sake.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

" Both Sluts and Swingers have sex for pleasure...otherwise what would be the point!...but the key difference is selectivity and usually not being so d*unk you have no idea who you're fucking! "

There are two differences between a slut and a swinger which immediately come to mind.

One is the imaginary difference perceived by the not so liberated sexually repressed individual who just can’t let go of their hang-ups…. and thus declare they are not a slut but a swinger to sanitise their guilt.

This imaginary hierarchy is often feebly justified with phrases such as….

I’m more selective.

I don’t put it about.

I’m picky.

The simple fact of the matter is…. if you judge another woman to be a slu,t in the derogatory sense of the word, because she has recreational sex… then you are a slut too. The number, the location, the method of selection is irrelevant…. the activity is exactly the same…. d*unk or sober.

The second difference is slut is generally (though not solely) used as a derogatory term, swinger is not. It is the intent with which it is used. Yes people do decide to call themselves sluts, just as many rappers call themselves the ‘n’ word… doesn’t mean you can walk up to one who has and say it. Their definition will quite likely be a positive one. If you want to insist ‘slut’ it not a derogatory term and you are at liberty to label women as such because of how YOU _iew their sexual activity…. go out on the street and try it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No one called you dumb.

I'm glad you can read Granny."

Janet and Janet book 4 now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Both Sluts and Swingers have sex for pleasure...otherwise what would be the point!...but the key difference is selectivity and usually not being so d*unk you have no idea who you're fucking!

There are two differences between a slut and a swinger which immediately come to mind.

This imaginary hierarchy is often feebly justified with phrases such as….

I’m more selective.

I don’t put it about.

I’m picky.

I never said it wasn't perceived as a derogatory term, of course it is otherwise this thread would not have gotten so heated. I merely said it meant different things to different people. As another poster has mentioned, a slut in a BDSM environment can be very different to what is used on programmes like Jeremy Kyle. I try not to judge other people on their sexual decisions, but on some level we all are guilty of it. I'm sure others wouldn't have made some of the decisions I have made and that's their right.

I have known people (both male and female) that boast about numbers of sexual partners as part of some kind of game rather than seeming to have genuinely enjoyed each experience...more to score points at having more conquests than a friend, once even to win a bet, and I personally find that a little sad. If that makes me a bad person in your eyes then so be it...it won't change my opinion.

Maybe 'being selective' was a poor choice of words on my part. I have met a lot of different men on this site...some as one offs and some more frequently...and some may _iew me as being a slut, but that is how they choose to perceive me. It's not going to change my habits or my choices...my profile being passed around work hasn't put me off so why should other peoples opinions!

Although can I just clarify...are you trying to say that all swingers are sluts as there is an 'imaginary hierarchy' in your eyes? Or am I interpreting a few of your words too literally?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people even try to answer this guy? Guys like him should be on here think its offensive Got a few names I could call him"

That was my thinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it,s only a word for gods sake say the word money watch eyes light up say war watch em all run all for a word get over it you only live once we a;ll sluts in a way to 1 thing or another each to there own and how ever you feel our who ever you feel

if you dont like what i say i am sorry but its true its how you say it at the time as said 2 fems fight you hear them call each other sluts slags cows bitches my mrs is my little slut but it,s said with affection and humour why dont we all just grow up and have fun on this here great fun and fabswingers site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if ur the neighbourhood bike ur prolly a tad slutty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it,s only a word for gods sake say the word money watch eyes light up say war watch em all run all for a word get over it you only live once we a;ll sluts in a way to 1 thing or another each to there own and how ever you feel our who ever you feel

It is only a word, and it is open to interpretation. I agree with what you say, but I've found it interesting to see how people have reacted. It is clearly something people have taken offence from, whether intended or not, so it is obviously something people are bothered about x

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I never said it wasn't perceived as a derogatory term, of course it is otherwise this thread would not have gotten so heated. I merely said it meant different things to different people. "

I'm sorry... did I imagine the bits where you outline there are differences between being a slut and a swinger?

Although can I just clarify...are you trying to say that all swingers are sluts as there is an 'imaginary hierarchy' in your eyes? Or am I interpreting a few of your words too literally?"

I don't have a hierarchy, I thought I had made it fairly clear I don’t believe there is one by using the word 'imaginary'.... however it is clear you do; along with anyone else who tries to imply they are better than someone else... by using a derogatory term and then trying to list why the derogatory name doesn’t apply to themselves.

I don’t have use for any derogatory terms used against women who enjoy sex.

If you call another woman a slag, a slut, a slapper because she has sex, in a manner you don’t approve of, you are by default calling yourself a slag, a slut and a slapper for having sex. It’s pointless trying to differentiate one from the other. It’s far more open minded to accept one is purely an imaginary concept used by twats to put other people down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrrh a nice relaxing Sunday afternoon

Ya canna beat it xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Arrrh a nice relaxing Sunday afternoon

Ya canna beat it xx

lol I know right, its still going.. thought it would of died down by now

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Why do people even try to answer this guy? Guys like him should be on here think its offensive Got a few names I could call him

That was my thinking.

I don’t find the OP’s post offensive. Naive and tainted with the school yard boys talk which he’s yet to fully grow out of, may be, but not offensive.

I find it far more offensive that an allegedly grown woman on a swinging site, for her own sexual pleasure, would confirm it's OK to think of women who put it about a bit as slut because they are not picky and probably d*unk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never said it wasn't perceived as a derogatory term, of course it is otherwise this thread would not have gotten so heated. I merely said it meant different things to different people.

I'm sorry... did I imagine the bits where you outline there are differences between being a slut and a swinger "

as I have said I was replying to what I felt the post defined a slut as. I personally use the word slut quite regularly to describe myself in a submissive sexual situation.

"Although can I just clarify...are you trying to say that all swingers are sluts as there is an 'imaginary hierarchy' in your eyes? Or am I interpreting a few of your words too literally?

I don’t have use for any derogatory terms used against women who enjoy sex.

again you are assuming that these words are used solely against women. whilst they probably are used more against women, they are also used against men. I'm trying to remember when I last personally used such a word in that context and I'm struggling to think...I must have been at school, possibly college, and so have matured since then. I'm not going to deny I ever used them, but in my twenties I gained a better understanding of sex and sexuality...hence me coming onto a site like this where I am allowed to express myself more without worrying as much about how society _iews me.

I understand you don't have an hierarchy, and yes I understand what imaginary means! My question was more of a play on your comment that people _iewed there to be a imaginary difference between slut and swinger, and so if I were to interpret that literally then that could imply you _iew all swingers as sluts? I understand that completely contradicts everything else you have said, and so can accept that wasn't your direct meaning.

I have already said that later on in the post I refer to everything being personal choice...I think I even comment that I have contradicted myself...but you have chosen to use one sentence out of everything I have put to beat me with and claim I see myself as better than others. I don't, although I wouldn't make the same choices as other people...just as some wouldn't make the choices I make.

Knew from the start this was a dangerous post!!

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

"Op - what is your definition of a slut?

Someone who sleeps around regardless of who its with and with no moral reason for doing so other than to just have sex with as many as possible"

deffinatley a swinger here (but only a part timer)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its amusing how such words can upset people. If its used to me direct I can get a bit annoyed..

If its used in a first message for instance.

I dont count myself as a slut ( unless Master says I am lol) but I dont count myself as a swinger either.

More a sexual adverturer... btw.. is it slutty to have 14men in one lunch time sitting.. if so... oh well

To be fair the OP thread is no worse than the ones from people saying they wont meet people because they have to many verifications.

We all have different ideas of what we want sexually.. I dont personally care if someone thinks I am a slut, in fact last person to call me one I said "thanks"

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its amusing how such words can upset people. If its used to me direct I can get a bit annoyed..

If its used in a first message for instance.

I dont count myself as a slut ( unless Master says I am lol) but I dont count myself as a swinger either.

More a sexual adverturer... btw.. is it slutty to have 14men in one lunch time sitting.. if so... oh well

To be fair the OP thread is no worse than the ones from people saying they wont meet people because they have to many verifications.

We all have different ideas of what we want sexually.. I dont personally care if someone thinks I am a slut, in fact last person to call me one I said "thanks"

Cali "

14!! How long was this lunchtime sitting!! I'm guessing longer than the stolen half hour I get for my lunch at work! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

14!! How long was this lunchtime sitting!! I'm guessing longer than the stolen half hour I get for my lunch at work! x"

lol think it was about an hour in the cinema

To me slut or swinger is just something someone says... one persons slut is another persons perfect woman lol

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

14!! How long was this lunchtime sitting!! I'm guessing longer than the stolen half hour I get for my lunch at work! x

lol think it was about an hour in the cinema

To me slut or swinger is just something someone says... one persons slut is another persons perfect woman lol

Cali"

True...people get too tied up on labels and other people's interpretation of them. Everyone has their own opinion and that's what keeps things interesting...would be a boring little world if we all have the same thoughts and feelings x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people even try to answer this guy? Guys like him should be on here think its offensive Got a few names I could call him

That was my thinking.

I don’t find the OP’s post offensive. Naive and tainted with the school yard boys talk which he’s yet to fully grow out of, may be, but not offensive.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Its amusing how such words can upset people. "

Words themselves very rarely get my back up..... the attitude behind them is another thing altogether.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

True...people get too tied up on labels and other people's interpretation of them. "

May be because some labels shouldn't exist... or is that the bit you just can't get your head around?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sluts love to make their partners lose all control, because sex should never be 'controlled', it should be unrestrained, unchained and uninhibited...

not my own words i pinched them but can't remeber where from Jem will be able to tell ya though but they do say what i feel a slut is so for me no there is no difference between the two but then i do not share the _iew of the word slut that so many do i feel both sluts and swingers should just be open minded and liberated people but sadly this thread has shown they are far and few between

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is indeed the attitude behind said words that are the issue.

There are plenty of people on here and other sites that will happily think of a woman as a slut... yet still happily fuck them... its when a woman that they percieve to be a slut has the audacity to refuse them that they show what they really think.

Cali

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Imagine an opening post which asked… Are all immigrant workers dirty, dishonest scumbags?

And then imagine a migrant worker replying “Those of us who work in the nice warehouses and the food processing factory are not dirty or dishonest. We were much more selective which jobs we applied for as we didn’t want to be called scumbags. But those who go to work on farms and building sites are not to be trusted. They’ll rob anything which isn’t nailed down and then go out and get d*unk… they are scumbags.

What message is the migrant worker really giving?

What do they directly and indirectly imply?

What implications is the migrant worker making for themselves and other migrants?

Now apply the same principles to a woman using a derogatory term for women who enjoy sex, in a derogatory context, about other women…. when she herself is on a swinging site.

You are not the first.

You’re not the worst.

I doubt you’ll be the last.

But it still beggars belief.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True...people get too tied up on labels and other people's interpretation of them.

May be because some labels shouldn't exist... or is that the bit you just can't get your head around?"

Maybe they shouldn't, but unfortunately they do exist in society. Some are good and some are bad. All are open to interpretation by the individual.

You feel that I _iew myself as above others and that is your opinion. As I have said, I will have used words like slag and slut in a derogatory was in my adolescence, and I was responding to what I felt the post interpreted as being a slut. However I haven't used such words in that manner for several years as I don't like them and have become more sexually open, understanding and tolerant since leaving school.

I do stick by my thoughts that it is sad when people look at sex as a numbers game/competition rather than an experience to be enjoyed, but that is my opinion and I am entitled to it. I do also believe that some people do make poor sexual decisions when d*unk or otherwise intoxicated...although maybe I didn't phrase that in the best way.

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By *enandlisaCouple
over a year ago

Burnley'ish

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?"

Define what makes a slut?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I do also believe that some people do make poor sexual decisions when d*unk or otherwise intoxicated...although maybe I didn't phrase that in the best way."

Having been to a number of swingers parties and socials, I have to agree they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do also believe that some people do make poor sexual decisions when d*unk or otherwise intoxicated...although maybe I didn't phrase that in the best way.

Having been to a number of swingers parties and socials, I have to agree they do."

I didn't mean to imply that poor decisions were made purely out of the world of swinging...like I said maybe I phrased the comment wrongly. Although from my experience I have known it to happen less in the swinging world than in the 'normal' world (not really sure how to define the difference without using another incorrect label!!). I haven't been to parties though, only clubs, so my experience is limited. I can only speak from my own experiences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally respect your opinion and your outlook

We all have different _iews

However one difference i wouldnt have used the word sad

See im not sad that you feel and swing your way

Im happy for you as you should be for those who swing differently xx

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

"Has anyone read The Ethical Slut?"

Brilliant read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not believe one is necessarily a slut/slag just because he/she makes poor sexual decisions under the influence of alcohol.

Irresponsible to him/herself for lacking in self-control and judgement, yes, IMHO.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I do also believe that some people do make poor sexual decisions when d*unk or otherwise intoxicated...although maybe I didn't phrase that in the best way.

Having been to a number of swingers parties and socials, I have to agree they do.

I didn't mean to imply that poor decisions were made purely out of the world of swinging...."

I know. That's why I posted the reply to point out that swingers do it just as much as anyone else..... yet you brough being d*unk into the debate as a thing which seperated swingers from sluts... to quote you:

" ...but the key difference is selectivity and usually not being so d*unk you have no idea who you're fucking! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally respect your opinion and your outlook

We all have different _iews

However one difference i wouldnt have used the word sad

See im not sad that you feel and swing your way

Im happy for you as you should be for those who swing differently xx

I wasn't necessarily referring to swingers...I have known people who have had bets on how many people they could have sex with in a certain time limit and I personally felt that was a bit sad. I'm not saying if you want to sleep with 'x' number of people that is a bad thing, but to me sex is more about each experience rather than a tally chart to get one over on friends (or win a bet).

Each to their own I guess, but to me that detracts from the whole point of sex. To me it should be about mutual attraction and enjoyment, and all parties should know if it's a one off or something more...which in the bet case wasn't always explained to the conquests and led to some hurt feelings x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do also believe that some people do make poor sexual decisions when d*unk or otherwise intoxicated...although maybe I didn't phrase that in the best way.

Having been to a number of swingers parties and socials, I have to agree they do.

I didn't mean to imply that poor decisions were made purely out of the world of swinging....

...but the key difference is selectivity and usually not being so d*unk you have no idea who you're fucking! "

As I have said several times now, maybe I didn't phrase myself in the best way. A later post I put in might have been overlooked:

" I guess the difference between Slut and Swinger and it's all down to personal interpretation of the words and the situation you want to apply them to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally respect your opinion and your outlook

We all have different _iews

However one difference i wouldnt have used the word sad

See im not sad that you feel and swing your way

Im happy for you as you should be for those who swing differently xx

a part of your post can be explained in this way

I take it you dont do club swinging?

I do and always have

Yes i have one to one meets too

But most people in clubs are aware that 99% of shags are one offs

As for your statement of sad applying to other parts of life not just swinging can i say that as long as there is nothing illegal going on im happy for anyone on this planet to live there lives to the full in any which way they want to

And if they enjoy it i certainly wouldnt feel sad about them

If they want to feel sad about what i do well thats their waste of time and thoughts tbh

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Is this the queue for cucumbers ? Darn...... I was after beetroots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally respect your opinion and your outlook

We all have different _iews

However one difference i wouldnt have used the word sad

See im not sad that you feel and swing your way

Im happy for you as you should be for those who swing differently xx

a part of your post can be explained in this way

I take it you dont do club swinging?

I do and always have

Yes i have one to one meets too

But most people in clubs are aware that 99% of shags are one offs

And if they enjoy it i certainly wouldnt feel sad about them

If they want to feel sad about what i do well thats their waste of time and thoughts tbh "

I have done club swinging, but haven't always played when I've gone (or have just played with the person I have gone with).

I do agree that it's each to their own, but for me personally I'm not looking for an infinite number of partners purely for the sake of stacking up the numbers. If that's your choice, then so be it, but that wouldn't make me happy.

And I do think the feelings of others should be considered, not just you're own individual happiness. In a swinging environment yes it's a given that a lot of meets are for one offs, but in a non-swinging environment that needs to be explained to the other party and often isn't.

I've had many friends crying on my shoulder about feeling 'used' after someone else has had their way with them...and maybe they were naive for expecting anything more, but just because it isn't illegal is that really fair?! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So thats the other persons fault is it?

The friends you mention also have a choice their choice in the instance you mention is NOT to sleep with anyone outside of a commited and well built relationship

If you cant stand the heat keep out of the kitchen so to speak

It certainly doesnt make the other person wrong in my eyes if thats how they operate

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

As you say... they expected more. People should have sex because they want to have sex.... nothing more, no other expectations.... whether swinging or not. Otherwise they are using sex as a trading tool... and setting themselves up to be 'used'.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

After your "im falling for someone on here" post after being here 3 weeks and now this thread Id suggest that you might be better off on a proper "dating" site not a swingers site.

The last thing this place is more people trying to label behaviour and put it in boxes where the only real reason seems to be to put negative connotations on how some people choose to live or not.

This is a site aimed at those that enjoy sex aside from that do we really need to compartmentalise everyone else to the Nth degree based on their habits (that arent hurting anyone) ?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

As I have said several times now, maybe I didn't phrase myself in the best way. A later post I put in might have been overlooked:

It doesn’t really matter if you phrased something wrong or not… the fact is you have tried (more than once) to explain what the difference is between a swinger and a slut……… there by confirming sluts do exist and thus there is a use for the word slut in a derogatory context.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So thats the other persons fault is it?

The friends you mention also have a choice their choice in the instance you mention is NOT to sleep with anyone outside of a commited and well built relationship

If you cant stand the heat keep out of the kitchen so to speak

It certainly doesnt make the other person wrong in my eyes if thats how they operate

Maybe not wrong, but maybe they weren't exactly clear in their intentions and mislead the other person...just because it was out of a committed relationship that doesn't necessarily mean there weren't feelings involved. Not everyone _iews sex as a purely physical act...it's all open to personal interpretation. I just feel that people should be honest about there intentions...whether in a swinging environment or out or it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I'll have the turnips instead of waiting thanks ....

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

So thats the other persons fault is it?

The friends you mention also have a choice their choice in the instance you mention is NOT to sleep with anyone outside of a commited and well built relationship

If you cant stand the heat keep out of the kitchen so to speak

It certainly doesnt make the other person wrong in my eyes if thats how they operate

Were your friends honest? Did they explain they were only prepared to have sex if their expectations beyond the shagging bit were fulfilled. Did they set out their stall as to what they thought a fair trade would be before having a jump?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Is it full yet?

Ahhh yes it is.... thank god.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I have said several times now, maybe I didn't phrase myself in the best way. A later post I put in might have been overlooked:

To some people yes the word exists as a derogatory word, to others it is liberating, and to some it means you might be in for a spanking if you're naughty...just because a word exists in a specific form it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with it or agree with it's use. To me it's more of a BDSM term, although I do accept it is used in other contexts by other people...but as with most things in life it's all open to personal opinion.

If you have chosen to take offence by comments I have written then that is your choice. You have already made your decision and I am clearly not going to change it so this has now become a pointless conversation as we are going round and round in the same circle, and staring at the screen is giving me headache!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats the difference between the two? if any at all I wondered?

none, they are simply different words for someone who has sex freely. i am proud of being a slut, not at all sure i am a swinger.

The word slut is used to attack women for behaving in a manner that patriarchal society finds threatening, i quite like the idea of threatening idiots

A+++++ answer, this is why jems is awesome :D

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

" To some people yes the word exists as a derogatory word, to others it is liberating, and to some it means you might be in for a spanking if you're naughty...just because a word exists in a specific form it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with it or agree with it's use. To me it's more of a BDSM term, although I do accept it is used in other contexts by other people...but as with most things in life it's all open to personal opinion."

If you really believed that whole heartedly and it is the whole truth of your opinion with no omissions….. I cannot understand why you earlier said some of the things you did, even if you do claim they were poor wording…. They just wouldn’t have entered your head.

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