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Finding a dom?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Anyone have any good tips to find a dom ? I’m new to being a submissive and would really like to have a mistress/dom any ideas welcome x

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

Your best bet might be fet life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to kiss a helluva lot of frogs to find a genuine one on any site. But they're out there. Just check they've had some experience and definitely a social meet first. Good luck

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I would suggest looking online at articles on looking for a domme. I am not, to be clear, suggest you look online for a domme.

The difficulty in the scene as in swinging is the number of men are in excess of the women particularly when it comes to submissives. Therefore you have to be clear as to what you are bringing in your submission to interest a domme. To turn it around, does your submission match the domme's requirements. Have you specifically looked for a domme whose requirements matches yours? Any experienced (non professional) domme will not want a sub who is trying to impose the sub's fantasy upon them. The domme's that specifically cater for fulfilling fantasies are a separate category.

The usual advice of attending munches, and events probably Femdom events and see who you get to know may be a starter.

Good luck

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By *ylonSlutTV/TS
over a year ago

Durham

I agree that a fet related website is probably better and munches are a good idea too. As mentioned the ratio of dommes to male subs is not easy either. As a beginner be aware there are a lot of fakes and con merchants out there pretending to be dommes. Considering your age you probably don't really know your dislikes/like and limits so it may be worth considering visiting a pro domme as you will be a lot more in control then.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

As you have nothing on your profile to indicate your interest in that side of your sexuality (not even the SM "interest" ticked) - that might be a good place to start

It might also help if you expanded and understood for yourself what your submission means to you and what exactly you are looking for from it - or is this just some vague fantasy as a result of having seen a couple of BDSM porn videos (which usually is nothing like a truly submissive relationship really is).

My advice to you would be to go back to square one - read as much about the subject as you can, and then when you have done that read some more - put some thought into what you truly believe BDSM means to you - there is no wrong or right answer only your answer and anyone that you do find that is worth their salt, will want to know what that is.

Take a look at some on-line BDSM questionnaires which are a good way of discovering what interests you and more importantly what doesn't.

As others have said get along to some munches and talk to people experienced in the lifestyle and be prepared to listen and ask questions.

Being submissive isn't something you just decide in the same way you choose an ice cream flavour, it's something that comes from within and the place to start with finding what it truly means to you is some introspection and thought.

Good luck

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"As you have nothing on your profile to indicate your interest in that side of your sexuality (not even the SM "interest" ticked) - that might be a good place to start

It might also help if you expanded and understood for yourself what your submission means to you and what exactly you are looking for from it - or is this just some vague fantasy as a result of having seen a couple of BDSM porn videos (which usually is nothing like a truly submissive relationship really is).

My advice to you would be to go back to square one - read as much about the subject as you can, and then when you have done that read some more - put some thought into what you truly believe BDSM means to you - there is no wrong or right answer only your answer and anyone that you do find that is worth their salt, will want to know what that is.

Take a look at some on-line BDSM questionnaires which are a good way of discovering what interests you and more importantly what doesn't.

As others have said get along to some munches and talk to people experienced in the lifestyle and be prepared to listen and ask questions.

Being submissive isn't something you just decide in the same way you choose an ice cream flavour, it's something that comes from within and the place to start with finding what it truly means to you is some introspection and thought.

Good luck "

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)


"As you have nothing on your profile to indicate your interest in that side of your sexuality (not even the SM "interest" ticked) - that might be a good place to start

It might also help if you expanded and understood for yourself what your submission means to you and what exactly you are looking for from it - or is this just some vague fantasy as a result of having seen a couple of BDSM porn videos (which usually is nothing like a truly submissive relationship really is).

My advice to you would be to go back to square one - read as much about the subject as you can, and then when you have done that read some more - put some thought into what you truly believe BDSM means to you - there is no wrong or right answer only your answer and anyone that you do find that is worth their salt, will want to know what that is.

Take a look at some on-line BDSM questionnaires which are a good way of discovering what interests you and more importantly what doesn't.

As others have said get along to some munches and talk to people experienced in the lifestyle and be prepared to listen and ask questions.

Being submissive isn't something you just decide in the same way you choose an ice cream flavour, it's something that comes from within and the place to start with finding what it truly means to you is some introspection and thought.

Good luck "

Don't jump in feet first, do your homework and network, as has been said munches are a good place to start, at least you can get some excellent advice first hand at them.

Don't focus on it and be prepared to take your time finding the right Dom/Domme. As with all aspects of life on here there are lots of fakes and wanabees, learn to spot them and don't let them get you down.

Above all stay positive and good things will happen. Good luck in your search.

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By *wickermanMan
over a year ago

Staines

[Removed by poster at 23/11/18 16:04:40]

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By *wickermanMan
over a year ago

Staines

You, like in any other arena, are marketing yourself so do your research.

What are you able to offer that others do not. It certainly will not be the size of your cock or any supposed sexual talent. It will not be about your sexual desires. It is a buyer's market.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Good luck

Don't jump in feet first, do your homework and network, as has been said munches are a good place to start, at least you can get some excellent advice first hand at them.

Don't focus on it and be prepared to take your time finding the right Dom/Domme. As with all aspects of life on here there are lots of fakes and wanabees, learn to spot them and don't let them get you down.

Above all stay positive and good things will happen. Good luck in your search."

As said above pop to a local munch/social and start from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your best bet might be fet life"
that's dead as well lol been on year's same problem as here to many of us men looking same thing

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)

That site is a good repository for information to anyone who is thinking about following their desires into that type of play.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

The fet site ( to me) is an impossible American mess, virtually impossible to navigate yet worshiped by many.

Talk to subs first, you will then know what you want (plus understand) from a Dom.

The play is a dance, make sure you and your partner are doing the right steps together.

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham


"Your best bet might be fet life that's dead as well lol been on year's same problem as here to many of us men looking same thing"
its not dead at all .you have to go about things in the right way .first of all you have to get yourself out and about and be seen at munches ,events and clubs . this scene likes to put a face to any profile . you cant expect much response if all you do is put out messages saying you want to meet some Dom/ domme or sub .the bdsm scene is vast and there are many avenues to explore . its not all about being tied up ,spanked and punished and the like . and while there is dome crossover between this type of site and that side of things its completely different . its certainly no 50 shades of tripe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fetlife has become far too big

So many specialised sections that the whole seems to suffer

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