FabSwingers.com forum: Finding fit (healthy BMI) couples over 40

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

We find it difficult to meet couples who are similar to ourselves in terms of age and build. The big issue is that we are both reasonably fit and a healthy BMI. Not supermodels or gym addicts but we look after ourselves with exercise and reasonably healthy diet.

We really find it difficult to find people, we are attracted to , with a healthy BMI (body mass index) and a similar age to ourselves. Thought it was just the site but been to socials and parties and find most people our age are a bit bigger than we find attractive. It’s just our preference in terms of body shape and we respect people have different lifestyles but we find about 80%+ of people at our age in swinging are above a healthy BMI.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s of loads of fantastic couples with excellent bodies over the age of forty on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And... dare I say it... and I will because I think this is a rather strange thread... is that you guys are slim but not gym fit- there’s a ton of couples on here I could show you that look like they’re in their twenties. Perhaps you need to dig about a bit more?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooooh i think ill pull up a pew and watch the arguments begin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap "

Tru' dat. Body fat % is far better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And... dare I say it... and I will because I think this is a rather strange thread... is that you guys are slim but not gym fit- there’s a ton of couples on here I could show you that look like they’re in their twenties. Perhaps you need to dig about a bit more?"

We’re not gym bunnies definitely but we can go out tomorrow run a 10k with no issues. We’re not looking for muscle men or aerobics teachers just people who are a healthy weight. We have found some lovely couples but we have been to parties, etc here in Scotland and slim, fit looking couples are in minority. Perhaps we need to come down south

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know about your area but up here we have many fab couples that are older and slim so they definitely exist. If there are more that aren't so slim, well I would say that is a reflection of society today. Fab is just a small slice of that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm obese on bmi

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

It's natural to get a bit flabby in your fifties and it takes an effort not to be

We know what you mean though, come and see us

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap "

We’re only using BMI as a guide here to slim(ish) healthy people. It’s just a preference and we are waiting to be flamed to hell for expressing a preference and asking if that preference is a bit of a unicorn expectation in the swinging world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is this one off ur fantasy?

I don't see any slim fit on ur veri

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wear a fabswingers badge to the gym when your working out ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a preference for body type and unfortunately I suspect this thread will get people's backs up as those around size and shape often do.

However I am confused as to how you can determine someone's BMI just by meeting them? Do you measure and weigh perspective meets?

I can understand saying you are attracted to slim people and you don't find many (understandable given high levels of obesity in Glasgow and the average dress size of women across the UK increasing). But to mention BMI is very odd

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

Knew you would get the PC brigade giving you grief.

How dare we have preferences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap

People meeting your expectations with regards to age and body type you are looking for are very much in the minority in the swinging world doesn’t matter where you are located, just the way it is. People who have personality, are likeable, friendly and flirty with no hang ups are more important to us, although obese people are not for us, get used to the fact that lots of people have body issues and meeting up with you would just exasperate this issue x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont see anything wrong at all having preferences regarding size, but as someone has already said, i see no reason why the average size of the population in general wouldnt be reflected here as much as anywhere else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is this one off ur fantasy?

I don't see any slim fit on ur veri

That's their whole point

They've clearly met people socially (as proven in their post and their verifications) but they're struggling to find slim people to play with locally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think there is anything wrong with having a preference for body type and unfortunately I suspect this thread will get people's backs up as those around size and shape often do.

However I am confused as to how you can determine someone's BMI just by meeting them? Do you measure and weigh perspective meets?

I just took it the OP was mentioning bmi to avoid any language that may cause upset. It's tricky to know what you can say when talking about body size without offending anyone. I doubt they actually intend to weigh and measure prospective playmates...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

Knew you would get the PC brigade giving you grief.

How dare we have preferences

where has the OP been given 'grief'? No one had said anything against his post, just given opinions on why they might feel they don't see many people that fit their preference..

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By *orn_To_PerformCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

You’re talking about a problem across the whole of society, not just swingers! Obesity is a serious issue and it’s mostly down to attitude; “I’ll do what I want, eat and drink as much as I like and no one’s gonna stop me.” We’re not interested in obese people, or in the narcissistic body-building gym-bunnies at the other end of the spectrum. We’re just looking to meet realistic and sensibly-sized swingers, like ourselves.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

Knew you would get the PC brigade giving you grief.

How dare we have preferences

where has the OP been given 'grief'? No one had said anything against his post, just given opinions on why they might feel they don't see many people that fit their preference.."

They are entitled to choose who they wish.

The negativity that people get in these types of threads is proof that most on here aren't swingers.

If so how can they be so narrow minded?

My point was that if you post as they have trying to find another couple that fits the bill, why can't people just accept that that is what they are looking for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You’re talking about a problem across the whole of society, not just swingers! Obesity is a serious issue and it’s mostly down to attitude; “I’ll do what I want, eat and drink as much as I like and no one’s gonna stop me.” We’re not interested in obese people, or in the narcissistic body-building gym-bunnies at the other end of the spectrum. We’re just looking to meet realistic and sensibly-sized swingers, like ourselves. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure if the couple are worried about BMI or stamina another couple that can keep up with them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

Knew you would get the PC brigade giving you grief.

How dare we have preferences

where has the OP been given 'grief'? No one had said anything against his post, just given opinions on why they might feel they don't see many people that fit their preference..

They are entitled to choose who they wish.

The negativity that people get in these types of threads is proof that most on here aren't swingers.

If so how can they be so narrow minded?

My point was that if you post as they have trying to find another couple that fits the bill, why can't people just accept that that is what they are looking for?"

there hasnt been any 'negativity'..no one questioned their right to decide who to meet, the OP just asked if others had found the same as they had.

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap "

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

The difficulty is this. Most people in the OP's target age group are overweight. They will feel that the OP is essentially saying they are not attractive and get upset about that.

It doesn't matter how much you talk about personal preference etc etc some people will take it that way. The reason for this is that the general social/media consensus is that overweight people are less attractive than slim people.

It's different where people express a preference for overweight people. That goes against the consensus and hence does not accept the slim people.

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap "

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

So go and find what you want. This thread is wierd op....

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"We’re not gym bunnies definitely but we can go out tomorrow run a 10k with no issues. We’re not looking for muscle men or aerobics teachers just people who are a healthy weight. We have found some lovely couples but we have been to parties, etc here in Scotland and slim, fit looking couples are in minority. Perhaps we need to come down south

So can I but I couldn't be classed as slim... I couldn't care less about not being someone's preferred body type but I do get naffed off by the constant assumption that I'm not fit, healthy or that I know what a gym looks like...

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By *ip_brumMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Offer yourselves as a prize to your local Weightwatchers group ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The difficulty is this. Most people in the OP's target age group are overweight. They will feel that the OP is essentially saying they are not attractive and get upset about that.

It's different where people express a preference for overweight people. That goes against the consensus and hence does not accept the slim people. "

I havent seen anyone on the thread get upset about it though? Even with the usual negative opinions on why people are obese thrown in. Which nobody asked for... I am very overweight and not at all upset that some people find it unattractive. I dont fancy every person I see either, slim or otherwise

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Hmmmmm as someone that is overweight on the bmi index I would say that your post made me feel SO good about myself

I am 6 2 and yes 16 stone but if I was pure muscle and that size no one would say anything.

I can run a 5km in sub 28mins. However I know that from my Veris I am a decent bloke that people will meet

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm not sure where else you could look op.

We go by a persons pictures although they might not be up to date.

I think as has been said, that fab reflects the general population.

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

This thread has been quite decent so far - no one has a problem with preferences. As a big girl myself, I am fine with not being some people’s type - there’s plenty that are as happy with my buddha belly and thunder thighs as I am

That might be because I prefer petite, lithe females too - I’ve never found my body shape attractive in others. Good looking, beautiful, sure...but doesn’t stir my loins. I understand having a type.

OP, as others have said, the average weight is rising in the UK and it’s tougher to keep yourself trim as you get older so this will be reflected on Fab. Added to that, you guys have got to find two people together that you find attractive and trim which is exponentially harder.

They are out there though - I’ve met several lovely trim couples in their forties down here in Leeds (and obesity here is actually worse than many other parts of the UK). Keep digging!

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Oh, and forumites? I think BMI was just a random indicator they pulled out to illustrate the point. Let’s not get hung up on it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So go and find what you want. This thread is wierd op...."

The point is we are finding it difficult to find what we want and are asking other people, with a similar preference possibly, if they also find it difficult. We are trying to be respectful in our preference.

Imagine if we posted that we are looking for a black guy with a 9” cock but are having difficulty finding one. Would that be a weird post or a question to guage how easy it is to find such a thing ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hmmmmm as someone that is overweight on the bmi index I would say that your post made me feel SO good about myself

I am 6 2 and yes 16 stone but if I was pure muscle and that size no one would say anything.

I can run a 5km in sub 28mins. However I know that from my Veris I am a decent bloke that people will meet

With BMI we are just trying to put some sort of measure that is perhaps more socially acceptable than other terms. We really really don’t want to upset people even people with big muscles. ??

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hmmmmm as someone that is overweight on the bmi index I would say that your post made me feel SO good about myself

I am 6 2 and yes 16 stone but if I was pure muscle and that size no one would say anything.

I can run a 5km in sub 28mins. However I know that from my Veris I am a decent bloke that people will meet

With BMI we are just trying to put some sort of measure that is perhaps more socially acceptable than other terms. We really really don’t want to upset people even people with big muscles. ?? "

I think no matter how you phrase it people will feel put out. Size and weight are very touchy subjects on fab.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

[Removed by poster at 09/02/18 14:03:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmmmm as someone that is overweight on the bmi index I would say that your post made me feel SO good about myself

I am 6 2 and yes 16 stone but if I was pure muscle and that size no one would say anything.

I can run a 5km in sub 28mins. However I know that from my Veris I am a decent bloke that people will meet

With BMI we are just trying to put some sort of measure that is perhaps more socially acceptable than other terms. We really really don’t want to upset people even people with big muscles. ?? "

So OP, c’mon, just say you don’t want to meet any fatties and have done with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get what you are saying, and it sounds like you’ve had no luck within your area. We play with couples, in your age brackets, and having used the clubs for meets, found Leeds to have some hot couples. Maybe a visit down this way is needed?!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Hmmmmm as someone that is overweight on the bmi index I would say that your post made me feel SO good about myself

I am 6 2 and yes 16 stone but if I was pure muscle and that size no one would say anything.

I can run a 5km in sub 28mins. However I know that from my Veris I am a decent bloke that people will meet

With BMI we are just trying to put some sort of measure that is perhaps more socially acceptable than other terms. We really really don’t want to upset people even people with big muscles. ??

I think no matter how you phrase it people will feel put out. Size and weight are very touchy subjects on fab."

This indeed. I used to be really skinny but then in early 30s put it on. If some calls me fat or large I often fire back but yes it gives me force to fuck with - that often brings a smile and shrug of the shoulders

At the moment I can see my penis when hard, and I can fuck when I am invited to so for me that is fine

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This thread has been quite decent so far - no one has a problem with preferences. As a big girl myself, I am fine with not being some people’s type - there’s plenty that are as happy with my buddha belly and thunder thighs as I am

They are out there though - I’ve met several lovely trim couples in their forties down here in Leeds (and obesity here is actually worse than many other parts of the UK). Keep digging!"

Thank you. They do exist as we have met some but in 10 years we have possibly met 4 or 5 couples like that. Some are off the site now unfortunately.

Not helped by the fact that with single guys L can have a fit 35 year old any day of the week so when we come to 50 year old couples she’s not as attracted to a guy who is several waist sizes bigger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So go and find what you want. This thread is wierd op....

Can't see anything weird in it. I've often wondered similar as finding tall men locally can be an issue!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I get what you are saying, and it sounds like you’ve had no luck within your area. We play with couples, in your age brackets, and having used the clubs for meets, found Leeds to have some hot couples. Maybe a visit down this way is needed?! "

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

They are out there though - I’ve met several lovely trim couples in their forties down here in Leeds (and obesity here is actually worse than many other parts of the UK). Keep digging!

Thank you. They do exist as we have met some but in 10 years we have possibly met 4 or 5 couples like that. Some are off the site now unfortunately.

Would the solution be to stick to younger couples?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So go and find what you want. This thread is wierd op....

Can't see anything weird in it. I've often wondered similar as finding tall men locally can be an issue!"

Exactly. We should all be allowed to have preferences . That could be height, body shape, cock size, boob size, facial hair, tattoos, education , whatever.

If someone posted to say they want to meet extra large men/women or members with large cock/breasts I don’t think you would get people saying ‘Thanks OP I feel SO good about myself’ .

Again we’re trying to say we have a preference and wondering if people are finding it as difficult as we are in finding that preference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over 40’s couple in not bad nick here

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

There are sexy couples about - clubs maybe better

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They are out there though - I’ve met several lovely trim couples in their forties down here in Leeds (and obesity here is actually worse than many other parts of the UK). Keep digging!

Thank you. They do exist as we have met some but in 10 years we have possibly met 4 or 5 couples like that. Some are off the site now unfortunately.

Would the solution be to stick to younger couples?"

We struggle to meet younger couples as many age preferences are set below our age. It’s their preference and we respect that.

We find the single guys will have wider age ranges, generally, than couples so it’s pretty easy for L to meet guys 30 years and above if she wanted. However for us to meet 35 or even year old couples it’s pretty rare that their age range extends to us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Over 40’s couple in not bad nick here "

If you’re ever in Scotland

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s of loads of fantastic couples with excellent bodies over the age of forty on here. "

I absolutely agree, I am shocked at physical condition or the lack of it on here of the younger men actually

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By *HornyScotsUKCouple
over a year ago

dundee

We have always felt younger than our age. Partner has always been slim n muscular but I never noticed my weight change x 2 year ago I was a stay at home mum n felt tired n was not happy x I have been doing exercises daily, training to run a half marathon n went from 16 to a 10, sex feels better than in our 20's n we are fit n 40's xx Loving my new fit life xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Over 40’s couple in not bad nick here

If you’re ever in Scotland

It’s about time we went to see our beautiful neighbours in the north

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Over 40’s couple in not bad nick here

If you’re ever in Scotland

It’s about time we went to see our beautiful neighbours in the north

And once you've seen the sights of Glasgow feel free to travel to Aberdeen

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

They are out there though - I’ve met several lovely trim couples in their forties down here in Leeds (and obesity here is actually worse than many other parts of the UK). Keep digging!

Thank you. They do exist as we have met some but in 10 years we have possibly met 4 or 5 couples like that. Some are off the site now unfortunately.

Would the solution be to stick to younger couples?

We struggle to meet younger couples as many age preferences are set below our age. It’s their preference and we respect that.

Once you get over fifty loads start cutting you off

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By *iReyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire East

"I'm obese on bmi"

Looks like I’m into obese men then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Over 40’s couple in not bad nick here

If you’re ever in Scotland

It’s about time we went to see our beautiful neighbours in the north

we can’t message you though as you’re only accepting messages from site supporters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Over 40’s couple in not bad nick here

If you’re ever in Scotland

It’s about time we went to see our beautiful neighbours in the north

And once you've seen the sights of Glasgow feel free to travel to Aberdeen

That’s for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Over 40’s couple in not bad nick here

If you’re ever in Scotland

It’s about time we went to see our beautiful neighbours in the north

we can’t message you though as you’re only accepting messages from site supporters

Filters amended

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap

Ah don't worry about the people that will whine at you, im nowhere near slim and I don't think you've said anything that would cause any offence. You are completely entitled to only search for/ play with people that meet your preferences.

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By *ally_weaverMan
over a year ago

Stoneyburn

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I feel bad for the people on your verification list you have clearly 'settled' for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

No chance all lard arses obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm obese on bmi

Looks like I’m into obese men then

Haha lucky me then I won't try and lose weight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly can’t see anything offensive in this post

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"I'm obese on bmi

Looks like I’m into obese men then

Haha lucky me then I won't try and lose weight

Those thighs!

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Represent the chunky majority here.

Big up the BMI massive

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I feel bad for the people on your verification list you have clearly 'settled' for. "

How do you jump to that conclusion? We’ve met these people on our veris, we played with some and we met others socially but not played for a variety of reasons. How would you think these people would think we ‘settled’ for them ? Don’t understand your logic .

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Of course we are all allowed to have preferences, as to who we find attractive and hope to meet. Sounds like it must be your area, OP, from what you say. We personally don't have a problem meeting any size of people, yes maybe you need to travel a bit, to find what you are looking for, as you can see from posters on here, they are about!

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

OP we all have preferences and can ask for whatever we want from a meet, it doesn't mean we will get it though.

The membership on sites like this will very closely reflect the general public at large. These days the majority of British adults are overweight so it goes the majority of swingers will be too.

Here are a few stats taken from Wikipedia.

Data published as a part of the World Health Organisation (WHO) study in 2014 indicated that 28.1% of adults in the United Kingdom were recognised as clinically obese with a Body Mass Index (BMI) greater than 30. In 2014 62% of adults in England were classified as overweight (a body mass index of 25 or above) or obese, compared to 53% 20 years earlier. More than two-thirds of men and almost six in 10 women are overweight or obese.

Combing three years of data (2012, 2013 and 2014) Public Health England identified Barnsley, South Yorkshire as the local authority with the highest incidence of adult obesity (BMI greater than 30) with 35.1%. Data from the same study revealed that Doncaster, South Yorkshire was the local authority with the highest overall excess weight with 74.8% of adults (16 years and over) with a BMI greater than 25.

There are slimmer couples in your age group OP but don't expect there to be as many of them as there are bigger people.

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By *ygriff89Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I think it's a fair request if your preference is for slimmer body types...Everyone has different preferences and that's what makes life so interesting!

I'm a fitness trainer and we definitely have a growing issue with weight and obesity in this country. It's something I've noticed personally on this site aswell, however since I'm quite partial to a bit of junk in the trunk, I don't have any issue at all with someone having a few extra pounds.

Bad personal hygiene on the other hand...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For all of us looking for something specific there will always be a problem finding what we are looking for. Where's the fun in wanting average??

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think the op was suggesting BMI as a widely recognised system that is known, coupled with their explanation of the type of people and body style.

Whilst an academic review of the BMI calculator and restrictions of relevance for health analysis , including the multitude of material covered in recognised literature may be useful - consider the context here. That discussion could go in a health forum.

The op wants to meet some fairly slim people but not cause offence in how they say it - that's respectful. Helpful tips towards that goal could be useful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see why you never posted this in the Scottish forum

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By *anetandNickCouple
over a year ago

Ross-on-Wye

He hee it's not hit you yet!

Until just 3 or 4 years ago, we could eat anything and still look fit and trim. Then ones metabolism changes and it starts getting harder to stay fit-looking even though one still gets the same amount of exercise.

Now, careful dressing and camera angles start getting more important!

We seem to be able to still pull, though...

Janet xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think the op was suggesting BMI as a widely recognised system that is known, coupled with their explanation of the type of people and body style.

The op wants to meet some fairly slim people but not cause offence in how they say it - that's respectful. Helpful tips towards that goal could be useful. "

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He hee it's not hit you yet!

Now, careful dressing and camera angles start getting more important!

We seem to be able to still pull, though...

Janet xxxxxx"

Think as you get older it’s not just about exercise but more about what you eat. Believe us that it has hit us and our only response is to eat less than we did when we were younger.

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By *oshmoleCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

A bit of exercise and portion control. It definitely gets harder as you get older.

I think we do OK for our ages.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We are both reasonably fit and definitely over 40.

BMI isn't really useful though... according to BMI I'm quite overweight at 5'6" and roughly 13 stone.

Yet someone who is slim may actually be unhealthy, despite their BMI being "right".

Nita

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Having said that.

I agree that finding attractive people, who are also interested in us "oldies" isn't always easy.

Nita

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Why is it ok for people to have a preference for BBW etc but not for people to seek slimmer people?

Another double standard.

I say this as a bigger girl, who still can't understand how anyone would find my shape appealing (I'm obviously glad they do though)

As others have said the site will likely represent the population in general.

No one should have to settle for something they don't want, it defeats the purpose!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

Have you thought of taking a set of speak your weight scales and a tape measure ?

It would enable you to work out their bmi on the spot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it ok for people to have a preference for BBW etc but not for people to seek slimmer people?

Another double standard.

I say this as a bigger girl, who still can't understand how anyone would find my shape appealing (I'm obviously glad they do though)

As others have said the site will likely represent the population in general.

No one should have to settle for something they don't want, it defeats the purpose!"

Nobody has said it isnt ok though have they?

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By *eus n EuropaCouple
over a year ago

louth

I'm not sure your problem is all bout attracting slim people some of it may be due to the restrictions of your profile which is of course your choice

Not being able to accommodate can pose a big problem for lots on here along with a lot of folk are either both bi or just one to make things more attractive to others looking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the BMI bit is a red herring. As has been pointed out already, it is but a crude yardstick of body shape. The key is for people to be able to see someone's whole body, and they will know in a second or two whether they fancy them or not.

I would also point out that Glasgow, home of the deep fried Mars bar, does have a particular name for obesity and associated ailments. Maybe the OP has a point there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go with what you prefer O.P it may be like finding a needle in a haystack but if it's what you seek it's what you seek.

I'm currently attempting to shift weight after long term mobility problem(sorted thankfully)

I know what I prefer but need to shift my own "keg" first.

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By *lackbird1000Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Is personal preference I agree !As in my opinion I find slim girls without ass not attractive at all!

Saying that I know from my running club some not slim ladies , who are extremely fit ! 4miles 3 times a week ! They not slim but they are fit! Many half and full marathon under their belt !

We should meet who we fancy and find attractive .

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

We're far from being"gym fit" ourselves, but we do sometimes look at very overweight people and decide they're not for u. However we very often meet meet such people in clubs or parties and get on so well, that we don't notice they're size until after we've played. So for us it's about some form of attraction, physical or otherwise.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I think your fab "search" might be broken,

I've just put in couple for couple 40-50yo and 10 miles and lots of couples come up and to be fair the women look hot.

Do you mean you can find hot women but the hubby is overweight ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I think your fab "search" might be broken,

I've just put in couple for couple 40-50yo and 10 miles and lots of couples come up and to be fair the women look hot.

Do you mean you can find hot women but the hubby is overweight ?"

As a couple we’re not just looking for hot women but nice fit(ish) couples.

In answer to your observation we checked with a quick search. Uk male waist size is 38” and average dress size is 16 apparently. In most cases this is probably overweight. So we assume if people term themselves average on Fab then we assume they’re a bit overweight. That’s been our experience in meeting anyway.

So on Fab that generally leaves slim and athletic people. We did a search of couples in Glasgow between 40 and 50, as you did. Of 30 couples on the first page only 3, 10%, had both partners in the slim or athletic category. Of those two had smokers which leaves us with a 1 in 30 non-smoking slim(ish) couples.

Not scientific but maybe explains our experience, we think, and would be interesting to try the same search in other cities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to feel attraction its not just the body .somebody who is athletic could have a nasty attitude .

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

It can be difficult for a couple trying to meet with another couple, four people to be happy lol. I know single guys complain it can be hard to get a meet on here but honestly it's far more difficult for a couple trying to meet another couple with attraction on both sides

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I think your fab "search" might be broken,

I've just put in couple for couple 40-50yo and 10 miles and lots of couples come up and to be fair the women look hot.

Do you mean you can find hot women but the hubby is overweight ?

As a couple we’re not just looking for hot women but nice fit(ish) couples.

Not scientific but maybe explains our experience, we think, and would be interesting to try the same search in other cities. "

Shot putters are athletes

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"It can be difficult for a couple trying to meet with another couple, four people to be happy lol. I know single guys complain it can be hard to get a meet on here but honestly it's far more difficult for a couple trying to meet another couple with attraction on both sides

I'm not sure about that, you hardly see any couples without veris but loads of blokes can't get a meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Got to feel attraction its not just the body .somebody who is athletic could have a nasty attitude ."

Absolutely but if you find being overweight unattractive then I suppose we are saying your choice would appear to be severely limited. Of course you want nice and reasonably attractive people too.

It’s hard to give this sort or preference without sounding up your own arse but we’re really just looking for people similar to ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not sure about that, you hardly see any couples without veris but loads of blokes can't get a meet"

Many couples have veris from single guys which is the easiest meet to get on here.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

I'm not sure about that, you hardly see any couples without veris but loads of blokes can't get a meet"

I admit it will be difficult for a single guy to get their first veri but usually once they have then more usually follow. We don't meet anyone that's not verified, harsh but had our share of time wasters when we joined

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are lots of couples slim physiques, our experience is different from yours Op.

We'd recommend that you try more parties. We find that hosts often invite couples with a similar body shape to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging is what keeps us in shape. Always battling the bulge.

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By *itch and TwatCouple
over a year ago

Near Rushden Lakes

As others have said, physical preferences are fine to have but can “slim down” (pun intended) the Fab population you have to choose from. We have never had strong physical preferences (being fuglies who need paper bags)...but we do find it sometimes difficult to find the right connection, especially in another couple...all 6 pairwise connections have to work. So maybe it’s just a general thing about a couple finding other couples to suit? Or maybe we and the OP are just slightly more selective than some?

Twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmmmm as someone that is overweight on the bmi index I would say that your post made me feel SO good about myself

I am 6 2 and yes 16 stone but if I was pure muscle and that size no one would say anything.

I can run a 5km in sub 28mins. However I know that from my Veris I am a decent bloke that people will meet

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"Got to feel attraction its not just the body .somebody who is athletic could have a nasty attitude .

Absolutely but if you find being overweight unattractive then I suppose we are saying your choice would appear to be severely limited. Of course you want nice and reasonably attractive people too.

It’s hard to give this sort or preference without sounding up your own arse but we’re really just looking for people similar to ourselves. "

I wouldnt think you were up your own arse... whats wrong with just saying you are looking for couples similar to yourselves?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Got to feel attraction its not just the body .somebody who is athletic could have a nasty attitude .

Absolutely but if you find being overweight unattractive then I suppose we are saying your choice would appear to be severely limited. Of course you want nice and reasonably attractive people too.

It’s hard to give this sort or preference without sounding up your own arse but we’re really just looking for people similar to ourselves.

I wouldnt think you were up your own arse... whats wrong with just saying you are looking for couples similar to yourselves?"

Thanks. That’s our opinion too. However some people do seem to react to posts that perhaps rule them out of a meet. This has been a pretty civilised thread though which is good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a fat fucker, so for that reason, I'm out.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Got to feel attraction its not just the body .somebody who is athletic could have a nasty attitude .

Absolutely but if you find being overweight unattractive then I suppose we are saying your choice would appear to be severely limited. Of course you want nice and reasonably attractive people too.

It’s hard to give this sort or preference without sounding up your own arse but we’re really just looking for people similar to ourselves.

I wouldnt think you were up your own arse... whats wrong with just saying you are looking for couples similar to yourselves?"

I think that's probably the best way of saying it. Or say nothing and just go by photos and a social

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By *ilmissplumpyWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

For once i'm glad my bmi is over 30

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By *ldiablowMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

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By *ldiablowMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I’m starting to think this place is where fat birds come to get laid. It is hard work finding nice chicks on here, tinder and Bumble is much better but I like the open mindedness that this site provides. This is the hardest site to get laid on imo x

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By *ilmissplumpyWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I’m starting to think this place is where fat birds come to get laid. It is hard work finding nice chicks on here, tinder and Bumble is much better but I like the open mindedness that this site provides. This is the hardest site to get laid on imo x"

Long may your unused erection last....

Lmp

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

If the sites you mention are so much better than here then what are you doing here?

If you thought it was difficult before this post of yours you'll find it even more difficult now.

Your attitude towards larger ladies is absolutely disgusting.

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

Can't see your profile, so can't comment on whether we're the 'same dap' as we say in Wales.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Us fat birds seem to be getting laid quite often so maybe it's only you that is struggling? Could be your bad attitude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Post reconsidered and not posted for fear of stirring up controversy by poster at 11/02/18 15:28:22]"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of slim people on here

It’s true that some older people can put on a bit of weight as their metabolism slows and theyenjoy the finer side of life , but still plenty to choose from !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Us fat birds seem to be getting laid quite often so maybe it's only you that is struggling? Could be your bad attitude."

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

"
OP we know what you are trying to say in the nicest possible way and you are not alone as we also have this problem.

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By *09309309Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

OP we know what you are trying to say in the nicest possible way and you are not alone as we also have this problem. "

Is it a match then??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Going by your photos, your man has a bit of a belly and a set of tits."

Classy! Making a personal comment on someone’s photos in response to a respectful general question. Especially coming from someone in their early thirties who doesn’t show their photos on their profile.

As someone in their early twenties/thirties also commented on the forum we are not ‘gym fit’ but we’re both normal BMI and so feel that we can express a preference for similar people. We’re not looking for ripped people just couples where both are in reasonable shape.

But of course doing that opens us up for personal comments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can i just say your bmi is aload of shit, a 6 ft 5 bodybuilder can be 15st of pure muscle yet can be overweight.

A lady can be as fit as a fiddle but if shes at that time of the month when she has her bmi calculated, she could be considered fat, never aim for whats classed as a healthy bmi

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can i just say your bmi is aload of shit, a 6 ft 5 bodybuilder can be 15st of pure muscle yet can be overweight.

A lady can be as fit as a fiddle but if shes at that time of the month when she has her bmi calculated, she could be considered fat, never aim for whats classed as a healthy bmi "

Sorry instead of BMI let’s just say couples where the guy is 34” in waist and woman is size 12 or less. We’d consider that healthy. We’re using a yardstick not a scientific process but don’t want to offend anyone !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

46 and hitting the gym in a bit not snoozing in the armchair like I’m supposed to

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

OP we know what you are trying to say in the nicest possible way and you are not alone as we also have this problem.

Is it a match then??

"
Impossible to say as the op may tick the body preference but is the mutual attraction there as well as the sexual chemistry.To make a good cake you need more than one ingredient.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

OP we know what you are trying to say in the nicest possible way and you are not alone as we also have this problem.

Is it a match then??

Impossible to say as the op may tick the body preference but is the mutual attraction there as well as the sexual chemistry.To make a good cake you need more than one ingredient.

Absolutely, body preference is only the starter for 10 . Attraction and personality are important too. Being close to each other geographically helps too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't understand why people get so hung up on size as long as they're friendly got good personality and fun whose bothered.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't understand why people get so hung up on size as long as they're friendly got good personality and fun whose bothered."

It’s only a preference like people looking for well endowed guys, bbw, bbc, soft swap, girl/girl play, etc. Everybody has something that floats their boat or turns them on/off.

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"Don't understand why people get so hung up on size as long as they're friendly got good personality and fun whose bothered."
Because to some of us it is a sexual turn off.As is a thin person that is unfriendly with no personal.I do not like parsnips but my wife likes them. Different strokes for different folks.We are all different it does not make any one a bad person because they like different things it just makes them human.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't understand why people get so hung up on size as long as they're friendly got good personality and fun whose bothered.Because to some of us it is a sexual turn off.As is a thin person that is unfriendly with no personal.I do not like parsnips but my wife likes them. Different strokes for different folks.We are all different it does not make any one a bad person because they like different things it just makes them human. "

Would say if people have no preference then they would play with anyone which can’t be the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Join the club OP

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Would say if people have no preference then they would play with anyone which can’t be the case. "

No they will just have other factors that are more important to them. I genuinely have no size preference, but I wouldn't meet just anyone. Facial attraction is my main focus. Not that there's anything wrong with being attracted to a particular size or shape but you should also accept that's not important to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Join the club OP "

For a moment we though you were inviting us to a particular club that catered for our bizarre fetish

Got us thinking though that clubs have BBW appreciation nights, BBC appreciation nights, TV/TS admirer nights, greedy girl nights, etc. Is there a market catering for our particular fetish on a club night ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Join the club OP

For a moment we though you were inviting us to a particular club that catered for our bizarre fetish

Wouldn’t be many ooops shouldn’t say that wouldn’t want to offend . Just a preference. But I was speaking metaphorically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are loads of fit and not too big people here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah the joys of stereotypes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are out there though - I’ve met several lovely trim couples in their forties down here in Leeds (and obesity here is actually worse than many other parts of the UK). Keep digging!"

This

I'm too attracted to petite, slim women. Although I'm morbidly obese, I'm not really attracted to someone my size.

We all have preferences and there should be no shame in that.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap "

Yep, the army tried telling me I was overweight when I joined as my BMI was high, I've got a 30" waist and hardly any fat on me! It's a crap system.

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By *itch and TwatCouple
over a year ago

Near Rushden Lakes

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap

Yep, the army tried telling me I was overweight when I joined as my BMI was high, I've got a 30" waist and hardly any fat on me! It's a crap system."

Waist or waist:hip ratio is usually better (or body fat), but BMI needs to be taken with a pinch of salt. As a population measure, rather than an individual assessment, it’s not bad to track general size over time and population studies often have height and weight recorded but not waist or hip. The people who have high BMI but low body fat/narrow waists are in the minority though...

And personally, I love a curvy woman...mmm...

Twat

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By *exy_HornyCouple
over a year ago

Leigh

"...but we have been to parties, etc here in Scotland and slim, fit looking couples are in minority. Perhaps we need to come down south

When we went to a chippy in Oban last summer they were doing a roaring trade in battered deep fried pizza .... Enough said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people are deliberately trying to find something to be upset about wit the OP. It's their preference and they're entitled to it, you may not like it but it's what they are after.

There are some larger people who are very fit and attractive but similarly there are also some larger people who I find less so. Not making the effort to go to the gym is a lot different to not making the effort to brush your hair of have a wash!

There are much worse crimes than saying you don't want to fuck larger people.

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap

Yep, the army tried telling me I was overweight when I joined as my BMI was high, I've got a 30" waist and hardly any fat on me! It's a crap system.

And personally, I love a curvy woman...mmm...

Twat"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap

Yep, the army tried telling me I was overweight when I joined as my BMI was high, I've got a 30" waist and hardly any fat on me! It's a crap system."

Strange how many insisted on debating the merits or not of BMI rather than the Ops actual question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

Feel your pain ,my advice is find a local area where people with substance go out like err Wilmslow or alderly edge and maybe a trendy gym with a Jacuzzi ..I've done it in a Hilton Jacuzzi with a cultured milf ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/02/18 17:59:46]

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By *andACouple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I think your fab "search" might be broken,

I've just put in couple for couple 40-50yo and 10 miles and lots of couples come up and to be fair the women look hot.

Do you mean you can find hot women but the hubby is overweight ?

As a couple we’re not just looking for hot women but nice fit(ish) couples.

Not scientific but maybe explains our experience, we think, and would be interesting to try the same search in other cities. "

I wouldn't take how people classify themselves on fab as being so precise though. My partner describes himself as average build on here but he has a 32 inch waist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given that the members of fab are hoping to get naked in front of strangers I would have thought it would be an incentive to produce a membership that was slimmer than average.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BMI is bullshit.

A lot of this medical advice comes from people with eating disorders. Sorry but it does. Everyone is different. Use attraction rather than BMI

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Given that the members of fab are hoping to get naked in front of strangers I would have thought it would be an incentive to produce a membership that was slimmer than average."

Why? Should larger folks not want to get naked in front of others?

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Given that the members of fab are hoping to get naked in front of strangers I would have thought it would be an incentive to produce a membership that was slimmer than average.

Why? Should larger folks not want to get naked in front of others?"

Indeed

Not everyone is into slim people. I've seen some very confident larger people happy to go naked and slimmer ones not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What???the op mentioned a healthy bmi

And I said why bmi shouldn’t be used as a health tool or to judge someone who is healthy so get back in your box

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap

Yep, the army tried telling me I was overweight when I joined as my BMI was high, I've got a 30" waist and hardly any fat on me! It's a crap system.

Strange how many insisted on debating the merits or not of BMI rather than the Ops actual question."

What???the op mentioned a healthy bmi

And I said why bmi shouldn’t be used as a health tool or to judge someone who is healthy so get back in your box

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We really find it difficult to find people, we are attracted to , with a healthy BMI (

That’s the op quote so read that again then get off your high horse as what I have said is right there isn’t a healthy bmi

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By *ythichoneyCouple
over a year ago

bognor ,nearby and around

"Over 40’s couple in not bad nick here

If you’re ever in Scotland

It’s about time we went to see our beautiful neighbours in the north

we can’t message you though as you’re only accepting messages from site supporters

Damn those preferences now eh

As a couple who have both been/still are above average body size the 1 thing we look for above all else is personality.

We find personalities attractive..yes visual attraction is important also but it's not a main point for us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bmi is a load of rubbish so don’t go by that for a match I’m

A personal trainer and never judge by that you can be 5 foot 5 weigh 15 stone of solid muscle but your bmi will be obese don’t even use that crap

Yep, the army tried telling me I was overweight when I joined as my BMI was high, I've got a 30" waist and hardly any fat on me! It's a crap system.

Strange how many insisted on debating the merits or not of BMI rather than the Ops actual question.

What???the op mentioned a healthy bmi

And I said why bmi shouldn’t be used as a health tool or to judge someone who is healthy so get back in your box"

We’re just going with the NHS guidelines which indicate that for most individuals BMI is a good indicator of whether you are healthy weight, overweight or obese. It does say for really muscular people it will give a false Indication. We could talk about waist size/ratio but we were trying to keep things simple and go with a published standard which isn’t perfect but a good rule of thumb.

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By *reamytitwankCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Oooooh i think ill pull up a pew and watch the arguments begin

This comment lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Over 40’s couple in not bad nick here

If you’re ever in Scotland

It’s about time we went to see our beautiful neighbours in the north

we can’t message you though as you’re only accepting messages from site supporters

Damn those preferences now eh

As a couple who have both been/still are above average body size the 1 thing we look for above all else is personality.

We find personalities attractive..yes visual attraction is important also but it's not a main point for us. "

We find personalities and people who are genuine attractive, size isn’t really a factor but we are not into very big people, the OP however has a point many plus 40 people are very overweight and if you are older and looking for similar body types it is very hard to find

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By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago

North West

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

We go to certain Clubs that in our opinion, attract the sexiest and fittest crowd. There is one particular party event in the Midlands that is renowned for being attended by fit, hot and healthy people - AND... It is not some snobby invitation-only event - it just attracts hot, fit people.

I think that trying to get Fab to work just from meets off this site would be extremely difficult if you value quality meets over quantity.

Our advice would be to scour the Clubs section and look for those Clubs and events where people have to make an effort how they dress. If they make an effort to dress properly, generally - they make an effort to look after themselves.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Each to their own. I love slim men, ladies I don't have a preference. Mr is slim, I am overweight but very pretty with huge boobs. We are both happy with ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I think that trying to get Fab to work just from meets off this site would be extremely difficult if you value quality meets over quantity.

Thanks for the advice. We are going to look at clubs though we’ll probably have to travel a distance to find the right ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not being fat but not being our ideal BMI we sort of fit into the area you'd probably not meet us. We go for looks and personality over body size, we met a couple where he was good body but terrible teeth and skin, she was bigger but gorgeous.

To the OP, this is just a thread to either drum up interest from elsewhere as you're struggling locally, or just a moan about fab? That's totally you're perogative, and we wish you happy hunting, just don't be blind to good looking people whatever their size we say

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By *oiretblancCouple
over a year ago

London

We don't find fat people attractive and don't want to have sex with them.

Unfortunately in the swinging world there is a disproportionate amount of overweight people.

Mainly women oddly enough! I am a bisexual woman and sometimes it is a real challenge to get my little pink tongue into the pussy through the cushions of chubbiness!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Reaching for the......crispbreads.

Daren’t say popcorn lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here we go again, it always happens with this kind of preference lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I think that trying to get Fab to work just from meets off this site would be extremely difficult if you value quality meets over quantity.

Thanks for the advice. We are going to look at clubs though we’ll probably have to travel a distance to find the right ones.

Good point, however the trouble is this certain club event doesn’t encourage over 40’s to attend even if you’ve a better body than many of the 25-35 year old people attending!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not being fat but not being our ideal BMI we sort of fit into the area you'd probably not meet us. We go for looks and personality over body size, we met a couple where he was good body but terrible teeth and skin, she was bigger but gorgeous.

We’re really just asking for advice. Are we hanging out in the wrong places, etc. but it appears from comments that we aren’t particularly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't find fat people attractive and don't want to have sex with them.

Unfortunately in the swinging world there is a disproportionate amount of overweight people.

Mainly women oddly enough! I am a bisexual woman and sometimes it is a real challenge to get my little pink tongue into the pussy through the cushions of chubbiness!"

Don’t like? Don’t do it

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"We don't find fat people attractive and don't want to have sex with them.

Unfortunately in the swinging world there is a disproportionate amount of overweight people.

Mainly women oddly enough! I am a bisexual woman and sometimes it is a real challenge to get my little pink tongue into the pussy through the cushions of chubbiness!

Don’t like? Don’t do it"

No likey........

Am sure someone can finish the sentence!

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By *itch and TwatCouple
over a year ago

Near Rushden Lakes

We’re really just asking for advice. Are we hanging out in the wrong places, etc. but it appears from comments that we aren’t particularly. "

OP your OP was fine...it’s others who have changed the focus.

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots

"Oooooh i think ill pull up a pew and watch the arguments begin

I'll join you

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By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago

North West

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I think that trying to get Fab to work just from meets off this site would be extremely difficult if you value quality meets over quantity.

Thanks for the advice. We are going to look at clubs though we’ll probably have to travel a distance to find the right ones.

Good point, however the trouble is this certain club event doesn’t encourage over 40’s to attend even if you’ve a better body than many of the 25-35 year old people attending!! "

I don’t know what you are thinking and where you are thinking but we are talking about the DPraved event at Club Xtasia. Neither the Club, nor the event undertake any sort of active or passive vetting other the people who attend are real people. The thing is that events and places where you are encouraged to make an effort to look good attract the type of people who make an effort. Ergo people who make an effort with their appearance, generally speaking, also tend to look after themselves.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I think that trying to get Fab to work just from meets off this site would be extremely difficult if you value quality meets over quantity.

Thanks for the advice. We are going to look at clubs though we’ll probably have to travel a distance to find the right ones.

Good point, however the trouble is this certain club event doesn’t encourage over 40’s to attend even if you’ve a better body than many of the 25-35 year old people attending!!

Agree Club nights are exciting and people make an effort. So going to try dpraved, gutted can't make this Sat but were in Amsterdam xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol!

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

*waves

(Although we’re very un-local!)

Just to add though, whilst our initial preferences and ‘wish list’ types would be slim, athletic types, we have met and played with some lovely people who perhaps don’t fit into this category.

So whilst it’s fine to have a preference, we’ve found this can be relaxed a bit once you actually meet people

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

"*waves

(Although we’re very un-local!)

Just to add though, whilst our initial preferences and ‘wish list’ types would be slim, athletic types, we have met and played with some lovely people who perhaps don’t fit into this category.

So whilst it’s fine to have a preference, we’ve found this can be relaxed a bit once you actually meet people

TB"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly can we say we’re not having a go here and it’s a serious question.

Anyone else find this a problem or are we looking in the wrong place?

Again we’re not having a go or think we are in that great shape but if our sexual preference is fit(ish), healthy couples over 40 or 50 then we’re having trouble finding many of them on the site

I think that trying to get Fab to work just from meets off this site would be extremely difficult if you value quality meets over quantity.

Thanks for the advice. We are going to look at clubs though we’ll probably have to travel a distance to find the right ones.

Good point, however the trouble is this certain club event doesn’t encourage over 40’s to attend even if you’ve a better body than many of the 25-35 year old people attending!!

Xtasia New Years party I saw many sexy people great night !!! Was hot !!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"*waves

(Although we’re very un-local!)

Just to add though, whilst our initial preferences and ‘wish list’ types would be slim, athletic types, we have met and played with some lovely people who perhaps don’t fit into this category.

So whilst it’s fine to have a preference, we’ve found this can be relaxed a bit once you actually meet people

TB"

We suppose on the site you only get to see pics which can mask a great personality or sense of humour.

At socials or parties we’ve not been attracted to 80-90% of the people there so you would not want to approach them in case they get the wrong idea. The other 10-20% might only be three couples if you’re at a night with 30 couples and you might not get to them as they may know and be talking to others. We felt like outsiders at the limited parties and socials we’ve been to.

Maybe we’re up our own arse or maybe we need to get to bigger gatherings

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"*waves

(Although we’re very un-local!)

Just to add though, whilst our initial preferences and ‘wish list’ types would be slim, athletic types, we have met and played with some lovely people who perhaps don’t fit into this category.

So whilst it’s fine to have a preference, we’ve found this can be relaxed a bit once you actually meet people

We suppose on the site you only get to see pics which can mask a great personality or sense of humour.

Maybe we’re up our own arse or maybe we need to get to bigger gatherings

No you're not up your own arse but maybe bigger gatherings will give you more choice

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