FabSwingers.com forum: Captivating Messages!

By *ohnjones3210 OP Man
over a year ago

Chester

Hi everyone,

Let's be honest, this is a fairly taboo subject in the world of fab as women seem to hate any mechanicalisation when it comes to paying attention to them... but lets face it, with the crazy ratios of men to women on here, a guys first message must be spot on!

Have any of you men got a 'standard' for their message writing?

Is there anything in particular which you ladies like/don't like to read?

This is a general template which I use when I send messages:

Greet.

I liked your profile because...

Who I am, what I'm looking for.

Show a genuine complement.

Comment on something of interest.

Say something cheeky.

Say something confident.

Say something funny.

Ask one or two open ended questions.

Attach pics.

Even after doing this, the message can still be deleted! What exactly do women WANT to read? How can one trully stand out to the best of his abilities?

Thoughts appreciated!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its hard work I do agree.

If I can give any advice, is that all women on here are smart cookies, so I tend to read a profile and find a hook to message them on i.e., something they like,dislike etc. Doesn't always work but if your message can inform the reader that you've taken the time to read their profile they should hopefully pick up on that in your message.

That said, to the women and couples profiles that have no information whatsoever, i tend to pass over as they cba in writing anything then neither can I.

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Hi everyone,

Have any of you men got a 'standard' for their message writing?

Is there anything in particular which you ladies like/don't like to read?

This is a general template which I use when I send messages:

Greet.

I liked your profile because...

Who I am, what I'm looking for.

Show a genuine complement.

Comment on something of interest.

Say something cheeky.

Say something confident.

Say something funny.

Ask one or two open ended questions.

Attach pics.

Even after doing this, the message can still be deleted! What exactly do women WANT to read? How can one trully stand out to the best of his abilities?

Thoughts appreciated!"

I have taken to doing the exact same as Tinder, we either click or we don't.

I can't be bothered in pretending and trying to impress, quite simply it's going to be good or it's going to be bad.

I wouldn't want to waste my time pretending to have fun with someone just cause they are hot!

Done that way too many times when I was younger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"..we either click or we don't.

I can't be bothered in pretending and trying to impress, quite simply it's going to be good or it's going to be bad."

This is a good approach to my eyes. I think if I actually met anyone off here, and then it was good and fun, I'd probably consider it another of life's little adventures and leave it at that.

No point stressing over getting laid off a website.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a general template which I use when I send messages:

Greet.

I liked your profile because...

Who I am, what I'm looking for.

Show a genuine complement.

Comment on something of interest.

Say something cheeky.

Say something confident.

Say something funny.

Ask one or two open ended questions.

Attach pics.

Even after doing this, the message can still be deleted! What exactly do women WANT to read? How can one trully stand out to the best of his abilities?

Thoughts appreciated!"

A message along those lines would be fine by me and I would definitely reply, even just to say no thanks. I don't really like being sent cock pics, or offered anything my profile specifically mentions me disliking, for example Skype or phone sex.

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By *ohnjones3210 OP Man
over a year ago

Chester

This is a general template which I use when I send messages:

Greet.

I liked your profile because...

Who I am, what I'm looking for.

Show a genuine complement.

Comment on something of interest.

Say something cheeky.

Say something confident.

Say something funny.

Ask one or two open ended questions.

Attach pics.

Even after doing this, the message can still be deleted! What exactly do women WANT to read? How can one trully stand out to the best of his abilities?

Thoughts appreciated!

Message me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everyone,

Have any of you men got a 'standard' for their message writing?

Is there anything in particular which you ladies like/don't like to read?

This is a general template which I use when I send messages:

Greet.

I liked your profile because...

Who I am, what I'm looking for.

Show a genuine complement.

Comment on something of interest.

Say something cheeky.

Say something confident.

Say something funny.

Ask one or two open ended questions.

Attach pics.

Even after doing this, the message can still be deleted! What exactly do women WANT to read? How can one trully stand out to the best of his abilities?

Thoughts appreciated!"
hey man women change the goal posts what they want today they hate tomorrow its all luck but with better odds than the lottery

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

The biggest reason we have for deleting messages is that the sender obviously hasn't read our profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The biggest reason we have for deleting messages is that the sender obviously hasn't read our profile."
men can't read surely you knew that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

funny messages make my knickers fall down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can be the most genuine guy woman couple in here but if you message someone and try to break the ice you'll sometimes find you get the most arrogant reply because some are far so their arses thinking they are the dogs bollocks just a pity really when we all shit and stink the same

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

[Removed by poster at 07/01/16 13:40:36]

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"The biggest reason we have for deleting messages is that the sender obviously hasn't read our profile.men can't read surely you knew that

The number that start "I know it says straight on my profile but......." tends to show they can read.

They just think they'll try it on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The most captivating message I ever had read

"I am going to kidnap you and keep you in a hidden cell under my garage."

I wish now I'd taken it seriously, though as cells go it is quite spacious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly you can write anything. If they don't like your pics they won't reply.

Trust me if you look like a model and send " fancy a fuck "

Women will answer

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage

"Hi everyone,

Have any of you men got a 'standard' for their message writing?

Is there anything in particular which you ladies like/don't like to read?

This is a general template which I use when I send messages:

Greet.

I liked your profile because...

Who I am, what I'm looking for.

Show a genuine complement.

Comment on something of interest.

Say something cheeky.

Say something confident.

Say something funny.

Ask one or two open ended questions.

Attach pics.

Even after doing this, the message can still be deleted! What exactly do women WANT to read? How can one trully stand out to the best of his abilities?

Thoughts appreciated!"

Practice, send me a message

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage

"Honestly you can write anything. If they don't like your pics they won't reply.

Trust me if you look like a model and send " fancy a fuck "

Women will answer"

Wrong, fancy a fuck messages regardless how they look are instant delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i don't like the look of you from your profile the message doesn't matter. I've answered guys who have literally just said "hi" before just because i wanted to rip their pants off from looking at their pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The biggest reason we have for deleting messages is that the sender obviously hasn't read our profile."

Nor taken any notice of it, Grrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can be the most genuine guy woman couple in here but if you message someone and try to break the ice you'll sometimes find you get the most arrogant reply because some are far so their arses thinking they are the dogs bollocks just a pity really when we all shit and stink the same

Would you want to meet someone with their head up their arse? Think of it as a lucky escape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everyone,

Have any of you men got a 'standard' for their message writing?

Is there anything in particular which you ladies like/don't like to read?

This is a general template which I use when I send messages:

Greet.

I liked your profile because...

Who I am, what I'm looking for.

Show a genuine complement.

Comment on something of interest.

Say something cheeky.

Say something confident.

Say something funny.

Ask one or two open ended questions.

Attach pics.

Even after doing this, the message can still be deleted! What exactly do women WANT to read? How can one trully stand out to the best of his abilities?

Thoughts appreciated!"

I disagree. There's no special formula. "Hello" works fine for me. I always reply to first messages, it's not difficult and I think it's rude not to.

I don't care even if someone has no profile and no pics, there's still a person behind it. I make the time to find out if I want to chat to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly you can write anything. If they don't like your pics they won't reply.

Trust me if you look like a model and send " fancy a fuck "

Women will answer

Wrong, fancy a fuck messages regardless how they look are instant delete"

I agree.. I would delete before even looking at pics

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I reply to all messages. What I have found a lot of is guys who say "Hi" and then their next message is great.

They say they didn't want to say much because they didn't know if they'd get a reply.

Do your best in the first message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesnt matter what you write to us, 90% of men havent read our profile, and those that do mostly don't match what we want but ignore that and message anyway, so no matter how impressive your message, we wouldn't be interested.

If you do match what we want we look at your pics and if we like we'll message back. Shallow? Yes maybe, but it's all about physical attraction for me (female), and no, it's not about if you look like a model as someone said previously, I rarely go for model looks

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I've no template or formula.. if I send a message I don't send many.. it'll be something unique, personal and hopefully interesting enough to the recipient to reply.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I hate messages that are obviously cut and paste. I've had messages addressed to the wrong person!

I hate cock pics. They aren't attractive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I reply to all messages. What I have found a lot of is guys who say "Hi" and then their next message is great.

They say they didn't want to say much because they didn't know if they'd get a reply.

Do your best in the first message."

I've found exactly the same thing.

What's the point in wasting time on a long message if most people don't bother to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as I know they have read profile so they know I'm what they are looking for and vice.. and I'm attracted to them, then a simple hi is fine... Not hi babe.. Or love or hun though..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as I know they have read profile so they know I'm what they are looking for and vice.. and I'm attracted to them, then a simple hi is fine... Not hi babe.. Or love or hun though..

Vice versa **

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as I know they have read profile so they know I'm what they are looking for and vice.. and I'm attracted to them, then a simple hi is fine... Not hi babe.. Or love or hun though..

Vice versa **"

So if a guy you're attracted too sends a hi babe message you would delete and not look at his profile.

But if a minger sends you a long thoughtful message you would read and look at his profile?

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By *ohnjones3210 OP Man
over a year ago

Chester

So the general consensus is;

It's more about what is not in the message rather than what is in the message.

As long as there are no cock pics, no services are offered, it's not a 'fancy a fuck' type message, it's not an obvious copy and paste message and there are no terms of endearment, it is considered.

The message shouldn't conflict with the recepient's profile nd should work in harmony with it.

People who message who have good profiles have a chance of getting through regardless if the woman find him attractive.

Ofcourse, this is from a woman's point of view.

Personally, I don't believe this in entirety because the amount of women's profiles which say "stand out", "write a good message" or similar things are enormous!

I've also noticed that I get more commendation when I send a fuller message.

But ok! I've learnt some interesting stuff.

Thanks everyone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as I know they have read profile so they know I'm what they are looking for and vice.. and I'm attracted to them, then a simple hi is fine... Not hi babe.. Or love or hun though..

Vice versa **

So if a guy you're attracted too sends a hi babe message you would delete and not look at his profile.

But if a minger sends you a long thoughtful message you would read and look at his profile?"

That's not what I said

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By *ohnjones3210 OP Man
over a year ago

Chester

Sorry, I misworded this bit!

"People who message who have good profiles have a chance of getting through regardless if the woman find him attractive."

Should say:

"People who message who have good profiles, have a change of getting through, regardless of the quality of the message, if the woman finds him attractive".

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By *ohnjones3210 OP Man
over a year ago

Chester

"As long as I know they have read profile so they know I'm what they are looking for and vice.. and I'm attracted to them, then a simple hi is fine... Not hi babe.. Or love or hun though..

Vice versa **

So if a guy you're attracted too sends a hi babe message you would delete and not look at his profile.

But if a minger sends you a long thoughtful message you would read and look at his profile?

That's not what I said "

Ohhhhh, getting on Gillette's bad side! Haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as I know they have read profile so they know I'm what they are looking for and vice.. and I'm attracted to them, then a simple hi is fine... Not hi babe.. Or love or hun though..

Vice versa **

So if a guy you're attracted too sends a hi babe message you would delete and not look at his profile.

But if a minger sends you a long thoughtful message you would read and look at his profile?

That's not what I said

Ohhhhh, getting on Gillette's bad side! Haha!"

I don't have a bad side.. on forums.... Save that for meets

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By *uny1122Man
over a year ago

longeton

Don't understand our in English plz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, I misworded this bit!

"People who message who have good profiles have a chance of getting through regardless if the woman find him attractive."

Should say:

"People who message who have good profiles, have a change of getting through, regardless of the quality of the message, if the woman finds him attractive".

If someone has taken there time to read my profile and ensure we are compatible.. And I find them attractive.... As long as nothing degrading to women is on their profile or a whiny status.. Then I'll probably message them back... Doesn't mean I will definitely meet them though...

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By *ohnjones3210 OP Man
over a year ago

Chester

"As long as I know they have read profile so they know I'm what they are looking for and vice.. and I'm attracted to them, then a simple hi is fine... Not hi babe.. Or love or hun though..

Vice versa **

So if a guy you're attracted too sends a hi babe message you would delete and not look at his profile.

But if a minger sends you a long thoughtful message you would read and look at his profile?

That's not what I said

Ohhhhh, getting on Gillette's bad side! Haha!

I don't have a bad side.. on forums.... Save that for meets

Haha! I'm glad to hear it! You've shown mercy on me and not got me banned. Xxx

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By *ohnjones3210 OP Man
over a year ago

Chester

"Sorry, I misworded this bit!

"People who message who have good profiles have a chance of getting through regardless if the woman find him attractive."

Should say:

"People who message who have good profiles, have a change of getting through, regardless of the quality of the message, if the woman finds him attractive".

We understand that! Thanks for the clarification! Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as I know they have read profile so they know I'm what they are looking for and vice.. and I'm attracted to them, then a simple hi is fine... Not hi babe.. Or love or hun though..

Vice versa **

So if a guy you're attracted too sends a hi babe message you would delete and not look at his profile.

But if a minger sends you a long thoughtful message you would read and look at his profile?

That's not what I said

Ohhhhh, getting on Gillette's bad side! Haha!

I don't have a bad side.. on forums.... Save that for meets

Haha! I'm glad to hear it! You've shown mercy on me and not got me banned. Xxx"

band?.. For what reason?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as I know they have read profile so they know I'm what they are looking for and vice.. and I'm attracted to them, then a simple hi is fine... Not hi babe.. Or love or hun though..

Vice versa **

So if a guy you're attracted too sends a hi babe message you would delete and not look at his profile.

But if a minger sends you a long thoughtful message you would read and look at his profile?

That's not what I said

Ohhhhh, getting on Gillette's bad side! Haha!

I don't have a bad side.. on forums.... Save that for meets

Haha! I'm glad to hear it! You've shown mercy on me and not got me banned. Xxx

band?.. For what reason? "
band of gold or band he likes to listen to maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as I know they have read profile so they know I'm what they are looking for and vice.. and I'm attracted to them, then a simple hi is fine... Not hi babe.. Or love or hun though..

Vice versa **

So if a guy you're attracted too sends a hi babe message you would delete and not look at his profile.

But if a minger sends you a long thoughtful message you would read and look at his profile?

That's not what I said

Ohhhhh, getting on Gillette's bad side! Haha!

I don't have a bad side.. on forums.... Save that for meets

Haha! I'm glad to hear it! You've shown mercy on me and not got me banned. Xxx

band?.. For what reason? band of gold or band he likes to listen to maybe

My phone hates me tonight.. Spellcheck should be banned

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

As long as the message shows signs of my whole profile being read it will always mean a response from me even with just a polite no thanks, unless of course they've read it and aren't what your looking for but are trying it on anyway with lines like "I know you don't meet married men playing without consent, BUT ...." There's no but! I don't meet married men playing without consents

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Hi everyone,

Have any of you men got a 'standard' for their message writing?

Is there anything in particular which you ladies like/don't like to read?

This is a general template which I use when I send messages:

Greet.

I liked your profile because...

Who I am, what I'm looking for.

Show a genuine complement.

Comment on something of interest.

Say something cheeky.

Say something confident.

Say something funny.

Ask one or two open ended questions.

Attach pics.

Even after doing this, the message can still be deleted! What exactly do women WANT to read? How can one trully stand out to the best of his abilities?

Thoughts appreciated!"

As a single male. I never had an issue.

I think the key thing for me was a profile with a bit of effort. No magic ingredient but who I am, what I want, what I can give you. Coupled with a bit of intelligence and humour and that was me in control of my profile and the image I wanted to give out.

Then if I was to contact a profile, I would put some effort in to read what they were about and what they were looking for. Check their verifications to see if I would more or less fit the profile and that we were aligned.

Then finally, write an mail. Doesn't have to be brief and doesn't have to be war and peace but to introduce myself and demonstrate that I've read their profile.

No magic formula. No lying, no template, no being funny, no being intelligent. Just simply working out if we are potentially matched and then contacting them.

This worked for me. In terms of people contacting me and of course receiving a response when I initiated communication.

Were there some that got ignored for whatever reason? Yes of course, but this will always happen whether a single male, female or couple.

But this was what I did and it did yield good communication and meetings from women and couples alike.

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