FabSwingers.com forum: Sub Dom

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi and happy Christmas!

Can I kindly get some advice....

I have entered into a sub Dom relationship, for a couple of months now. Wasn't intentional, in fact we met for just a drink and it suddenly clucked. We chat regularly daily, meet regularly and had a couple of overnight enjoyable times.

My concern is that ... This is my first sub Dom experience (had several fab meets and repeats which is no issue) but I find myself thinking about him on a personal level and we both admitted we were going to miss each other whilst he went back to family for Christmas.

In your opinion, do I step away now or just let it run its natural course. I don't want to be overthinking things if this is naturally what occurs with a Dom sub relationship and it's a doms "way" when there isn't actually any emotional connection.

Please don't judge, I've spent some time thinking this over and wanted some advice

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi and happy Christmas!

Can I kindly get some advice....

Please don't judge, I've spent some time thinking this over and wanted some advice

Thank you "

Do you like the feeling? Does he like the feeling?

I have d/s relationships with emotions, and others without emotions.

You should do things the way that *you* think you would most enjoy them. And you should talk to your partner about it too and see what he thinks. As long as you are both looking for the same things, open to the same things, and enjoying the same things then do things your way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you Wasp, that's a balanced fair and unjudgemental comment - I appreciate that

I've struggled with the emotions and thought about ending it for a good couple of weeks but found myself just relaxing into it only I don't want to "over step" any lines that may exist in this type of situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you Wasp, that's a balanced fair and unjudgemental comment - I appreciate that

There are no rules. Do what makes you happy.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

what op? you expect to get a raft of fucks between him going and coming back? Ride that horsey babey yeah!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not sure what you mean?

Not expecting any and actually have declined any meets since we started our meets, which is strange also as I didn't think I would go "exclusive" with a fabber.

Also one of the reasons I was wondering if I should cut ties as I don't want to get emotionally attached if as a Dom he has other meets etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure what you mean?

Not expecting any and actually have declined any meets since we started our meets, which is strange also as I didn't think I would go "exclusive" with a fabber.

Also one of the reasons I was wondering if I should cut ties as I don't want to get emotionally attached if as a Dom he has other meets etc

You can have other meets if you want them too, you know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh I know

I totally do, just strangely haven't wanted them

Which is maybe what worries me about the emotional connection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh I know

I totally do, just strangely haven't wanted them

Which is maybe what worries me about the emotional connection

Well, that's ok too. In my network a couple of people don't see multiple other partners. They are 'faithful' to one person, and that person sees others. They don't *have* to be faithful, it's just worked out that way.

If it makes you happy, then go for it. What's the worst that might happen? In six months you decide you're not enjoying yourself so you stop and do something else?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's exactly the kick up the bum I needed haha xxx

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

I would go with the flow and see what feels right?

I've had Ds relationships with attachment and without. I always tend to bond quickly though. Even with sporadic play partners. As long as you are both on the same page so you don't risk getting hurt?

It may be the nature of your play too? I love to idolise and worship my dom, hence picking one to focus on. I would bond quick and miss them too if I was apart from them. Maybe that's just my personality though. My Doms have always accepted this. Even if the relationship has been very formal and short term, I've still been allowed to just let my feelings flow naturally.

Maybe talk about it with him?

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

I've had vanilla meets n I so enjoyed d lady that much I did not really need to meet others n even though we don't play any more we still chat as good friends were still very fond of each other . She wanted to try out a lady n I said go for it.she enjoying her lady friend

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By *wrecks11Man
over a year ago

manchester

Maybe this might help from a doms point of view. Yes I know I'm quite young to be a Dom but some mature faster than others mentally.

My first point is to make sure to establish a connection with the sub usually tends to end up intimate and usually ends up becoming exclusive depending on what exactly the Dom is looking for.

For the more sexual oriented doms, they usually have other meets regularly and the more role oriented doms end up building a bond with their sub(generic view). Be careful and get to know your Dom first before deciding anything and make sure that he feels something for you before connecting emotionally. there are no rules as stated earlier in the forum chain but make sure you're not only protected emotionally but also that you're having fun.

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By *rab74Man
over a year ago

Huntingdon

Most of the D/s people I know are couples. Plenty of them do hitty things and ropey things with other people, including on request at play events. Some are open to sex with others as well, but that's less usual.

The big thing with D/s is discussing limits. If emotional involvement is somewhere one or other of you can't go, then it's as much a limit as "don't break the skin", "no fire play", or whatever. Limits change as you go on, and emotional involvement can change just as much as pain tolerance. So talk about it.

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