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Photos sent to ex

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By *eardsandboobs OP   Couple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

we are a very outgoing couple and love having our photos on show for everyone to see . But yet again after changing to a new profile and moving our location 100 miles away someone from our past has seen us and sent our pictures to her ex husband .

All our friends families and work now know what we do so there's no problems that way. But feel so frustrated that we can't be who we want to be on here.

Is there anything that can be done to the person that keeps doing this ?

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By *umslut jannineTV/TS
over a year ago

nottingham

Yes go to the police

It's classed as revenge porn which is now a crime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New revenge porn laws might cover it?

Alternatively you're just going to have to accept that you have identifiable pictures on show and you run the risk of being identified by people who aren't discrete

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By *eardsandboobs OP   Couple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

We don't think there is much we can do as our photos are technically public.

But maybe the act of trying to cause problems might be something we can look at.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Maybe don't have a face pic as your avatar?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe don't have a face pic as your avatar? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe don't have a face pic as your avatar? "

With the greatest of respect OP, this is exactly what I thought initially. You could argue that you should be able to have what you like as your avatar & I agree. Although, not having face/s visible would make it more difficult for you to be identified by this person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe don't have a face pic as your avatar? "

Not maybe, definitely don't!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really is crap that you both have to go through this as this should be a place of enjoyment for you. The profile pic should be changed to keep you both safer.

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By *eardsandboobs OP   Couple
over a year ago

north of lincoln


"Maybe don't have a face pic as your avatar? "

As we said we want to have our pictures available , we just don't want certain people sending them to a certain person.

We shouldn't have to hide ourselves. Our point was what can we do about the one individual that wants to cause problems.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly


"Maybe don't have a face pic as your avatar?

As we said we want to have our pictures available , we just don't want certain people sending them to a certain person.

We shouldn't have to hide ourselves. Our point was what can we do about the one individual that wants to cause problems. "

You also said you got a new profile and moved the location 100 miles. Seriously there's no point doing this if you're going to have face pics on show as the person who has the problem will identify you again and again! Why not just be discreet and save face pics for those you wish to meet?

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford


"We don't think there is much we can do as our photos are technically public.

But maybe the act of trying to cause problems might be something we can look at.

"
. Have you considered taking out an injunction again him which would prevent him circulating information about you?. I am not sure how much this would cost and how easy it is to enforce . Quite often money spend on legal fees is just a waste of time .

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By *eardsandboobs OP   Couple
over a year ago

north of lincoln


"Maybe don't have a face pic as your avatar?

As we said we want to have our pictures available , we just don't want certain people sending them to a certain person.

We shouldn't have to hide ourselves. Our point was what can we do about the one individual that wants to cause problems.

You also said you got a new profile and moved the location 100 miles. Seriously there's no point doing this if you're going to have face pics on show as the person who has the problem will identify you again and again! Why not just be discreet and save face pics for those you wish to meet? "

We are guessing this is the only option. Just doesn't seem fair we can't be ourselves .

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By *-ManMan
over a year ago

Kark

Any chance of talking to your Ex about it? If he's cool with it then who cares.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe don't have a face pic as your avatar?

As we said we want to have our pictures available , we just don't want certain people sending them to a certain person.

We shouldn't have to hide ourselves. Our point was what can we do about the one individual that wants to cause problems.

You also said you got a new profile and moved the location 100 miles. Seriously there's no point doing this if you're going to have face pics on show as the person who has the problem will identify you again and again! Why not just be discreet and save face pics for those you wish to meet?

We are guessing this is the only option. Just doesn't seem fair we can't be ourselves . "

Nude photos in the private domain are plain dangerous. If it isn't your ex it will be someone else who sees them. Its the world we live in I'm afraid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 62 married been on here few months would like to meet a woman with massive tits but I must be ugly to fat my wife does not a long time ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm 62 married been on here few months would like to meet a woman with massive tits but I must be ugly to fat my wife does not a long time ago "

That makes no sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you put pictures in a public forum you can't really do anything about it.

Revenge porn laws wouldn't apply because the pictures are freely available

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have your face photos public as is your choice, you have face pics that also include sexual pics, again your choice.

You know there is a history of someone sending these pics and still you have these photos in your public gallery, again your choice.

Can't see what you're complaining about, you clearly want people to see your pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like an invitation/ advertisement thread OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice pics That was the point of the thread wasn;t it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is pretty much nothing you can do.

Fab is a public website, anyone can use any information from here as they please.

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/new-law-to-tackle-revenge-porn I think if it's repeated by the same person, it's pornographic, it's without consent, it's harassment, it counts as revenge porn.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"You have your face photos public as is your choice, you have face pics that also include sexual pics, again your choice.

You know there is a history of someone sending these pics and still you have these photos in your public gallery, again your choice.

Can't see what you're complaining about, you clearly want people to see your pics."

I don't know, I think the OP's post is quite reasonable. Just because their pics are public, it doesn't mean they are inviting harassment, or that it is okay, which is what is happening.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"You have your face photos public as is your choice, you have face pics that also include sexual pics, again your choice.

You know there is a history of someone sending these pics and still you have these photos in your public gallery, again your choice.

Can't see what you're complaining about, you clearly want people to see your pics.

I don't know, I think the OP's post is quite reasonable. Just because their pics are public, it doesn't mean they are inviting harassment, or that it is okay, which is what is happening.

"

I agree. If they want to publish pictures in an ideal world they should be able to do so without fear of people outing them or blane from others if it happens. Just as a woman should be able to dress provocatively without fear of attack or blame from others if it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we are a very outgoing couple and love having our photos on show for everyone to see . But yet again after changing to a new profile and moving our location 100 miles away someone from our past has seen us and sent our pictures to her ex husband .

All our friends families and work now know what we do so there's no problems that way. But feel so frustrated that we can't be who we want to be on here.

Is there anything that can be done to the person that keeps doing this ? "

Yes there are laws on revenge porn but that is applicable to pictures that were taken privately or for private use. I think you'd struggle legally as your pictures are displayed so openly for everyone to see and recognise which is entirely your choice. You haven't made any effort to protect your own privacy in what is a very public forum but it appears to me that you are exactly who you want to be on here.

Many of us have to hide our true identity due to work and family, in some respects, we envy your courage but such open-ness will and has, had an impact xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't have any sympathy for things like this, you have explicit face pics in your public gallery, your asking to get exposed like that, yes it would be lovely if we could trust everyone on here as the majority are on here for the same thing but to trust completely anonymous strangers on the Internet? Big no no

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By *ice but Naughty PairCouple
over a year ago

Local

[Removed by poster at 22/08/15 13:58:31]

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Couldnt have put it better myself .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I doubt it, as the op post's pics on an open forum. Ie a public place. Not sure where the law would stand on this, as the pics are already out there for all to see. And in effect, the op is complicit, in openly displaying pics of themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LOL! My post was a reply to cumloverpauls post. didn't quite hit the reply+quote button right.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I doubt it, as the op post's pics on an open forum. Ie a public place. Not sure where the law would stand on this, as the pics are already out there for all to see. And in effect, the op is complicit, in openly displaying pics of themselves.

"

I don't get this "they deserve what they get" attitude. If you met someone who outed you to friends, family and colleagues would you feel it was your own fault?

I agree that it's a risk we all run but the person responsible for sending the pictures to the ex was the one who actually did it.

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By *rab74Man
over a year ago

Huntingdon

I really don't understand some of the people commenting here. The point isn't sharing the pictures - the point is harassment. It doesn't need revenge porn laws, it just needs evidence that this person has done it more than once, with the intention of causing you distress. For that, you're clearly looking at a court order.

It doesn't matter whether you're already out or not - what matters is that you are made to feel threatened. And that's clearly harassment.

I've been outed to work myself - thanks to a certain recent ex who posted screen grabs of my account details on my company's FB page! To his credit, our director (who I work with quite closely) just asked me to try to stop her doing it again, because it was FB. Nothing said about what I do.

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By *eardsandboobs OP   Couple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

Thanks to those who understand our problem. After receiving some quite nasty messages as a result of this thread we have taken our pictures down.

We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

Maybe if more "swingers" were open about their lifestyle there wouldn't be so much harassment and judgement from the outside world. But when swingers judge each other as much as they do on here it will never become an acceptable lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I doubt it, as the op post's pics on an open forum. Ie a public place. Not sure where the law would stand on this, as the pics are already out there for all to see. And in effect, the op is complicit, in openly displaying pics of themselves.

I don't get this "they deserve what they get" attitude. If you met someone who outed you to friends, family and colleagues would you feel it was your own fault?

I agree that it's a risk we all run but the person responsible for sending the pictures to the ex was the one who actually did it."

We posted a not dis-similar reply to the message you have quoted but it was not a 'they deserve what they get' response, just a mere statement of the facts; that if you openly post clearly identifiable photos of yourself in such a public forum then that is highly likely they will be recognised and possibly used against you by someone with a grudge.

But you don't even need to have a grudge to take the mick out of a friend if you see his ex-Wife naked on a swinging site, in compromising positions and send him the link. Or just to inform him because 'you're his friend'. There are lots of other angles. Their pictures don't appear to have been circulated to their friends/family, only the link, etc, sent to the ex.

But why couldn't the 'ex' be on this site and having viewed them himself, doesn't want to let on, and just says they were sent to him so not to be outed.

We're convinced one or two of our friends may suspect but as we'll never post a clearly identifiable photo, that makes it highly difficult for us to be outed.

Sadly though I agree entirely with the OP that way too many people on this swinging website are highly judgemental and critical of other swingers when people in glass houses should be careful of throwing stones. But I would say to the OP that sadly, as genuine swingers, we're not in a majority on this site as it is full of voyeurs, trolls and wanna-be's.

The OP is the real deal and some of the unpleasant messages will no doubt come from people who are a little jealous that you're daring to do what they dare not.

However learn the lesson that you are swingers, many profiles on here are not, respect your own privacy because many people will not, this is the real world and not a swinging utopia.

Good luck x

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By *retty FolliesCouple (FF)
over a year ago

south


"Any chance of talking to your Ex about it? If he's cool with it then who cares."

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"Thanks to those who understand our problem. After receiving some quite nasty messages as a result of this thread we have taken our pictures down.

We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

Maybe if more "swingers" were open about their lifestyle there wouldn't be so much harassment and judgement from the outside world. But when swingers judge each other as much as they do on here it will never become an acceptable lifestyle "

Swingers are just like anyone else unfortunately, some are judgemental, some are not. You would think that embracing an alternative lifestyle would make people more open to understanding others, but it doesn't seem to.

A real shame that you feel you have to take your pics down (they were very hot!) but it's probably for the best, considering what has happened. Hope it helps at least.

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By *eardsandboobs OP   Couple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

Just so people are aware in case they have a similar problem . We went to the local police station on Monday and we spoke with a police officer who advised us that it is harassment but we would need proof that an individual is looking to cause problems.

She also said its not against the law to send pictures that are openly available . Which we knew.

She took some screenshots of the suspected profiles we believe to be his. And advised us to just be careful. She gave us a leaflet about revenge porn laws and said its becoming a big part of their job at the moment .

We know we are taking the risk of our photos being circulated but this wasn't our problem. Beards is on many adult sites as a model so his pictures are all over the Internet .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

"

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to"

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By *eardsandboobs OP   Couple
over a year ago

north of lincoln


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to""

No we are not. Admin have removed them.

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By *rab74Man
over a year ago

Huntingdon


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to""

Aren't you confusing "don't want your photo shared" with "don't want to be harassed"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to"

Aren't you confusing "don't want your photo shared" with "don't want to be harassed"?"

I don't condone the harassment but having a large public gallery of explicit photos that easily identify the OP is beyond me. I'm not a fan if victim blaming but equally there is such a thing as personal responsibility

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to"

Aren't you confusing "don't want your photo shared" with "don't want to be harassed"?

I don't condone the harassment but having a large public gallery of explicit photos that easily identify the OP is beyond me. I'm not a fan if victim blaming but equally there is such a thing as personal responsibility"

To be honest, that just reads as 'I'm not a fan of victim blaming, but I'll do it anyway.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to"

Aren't you confusing "don't want your photo shared" with "don't want to be harassed"?

I don't condone the harassment but having a large public gallery of explicit photos that easily identify the OP is beyond me. I'm not a fan if victim blaming but equally there is such a thing as personal responsibility

To be honest, that just reads as 'I'm not a fan of victim blaming, but I'll do it anyway.'"

Not at all it's about taking responsibility for your own actions. The OP could easily solve this by putting the pictures private which I'm sure is what most people would have done as this is happening repeatedly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He seems the jelous type. Ignore him and report him to the police.

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By *eardsandboobs OP   Couple
over a year ago

north of lincoln


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to"

Aren't you confusing "don't want your photo shared" with "don't want to be harassed"?

I don't condone the harassment but having a large public gallery of explicit photos that easily identify the OP is beyond me. I'm not a fan if victim blaming but equally there is such a thing as personal responsibility"

So like someone has said if I wear a short skirt and someone slaps my bum it's my fault for wearing the shirt skirt?

The fact the pictures are explicit makes no difference , its the harassment we receive .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to"

Aren't you confusing "don't want your photo shared" with "don't want to be harassed"?

I don't condone the harassment but having a large public gallery of explicit photos that easily identify the OP is beyond me. I'm not a fan if victim blaming but equally there is such a thing as personal responsibility

So like someone has said if I wear a short skirt and someone slaps my bum it's my fault for wearing the shirt skirt?

The fact the pictures are explicit makes no difference , its the harassment we receive . "

I actually think that's quite a weak analogy. It's not really compatible. How about if you were burgled after telling the local scouts you'd be on holiday for 2 weeks but your back door was being left unlocked. I think most people would be sympathetic but probably somewhat incredulous that you had made it so easy for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to"

Aren't you confusing "don't want your photo shared" with "don't want to be harassed"?

I don't condone the harassment but having a large public gallery of explicit photos that easily identify the OP is beyond me. I'm not a fan if victim blaming but equally there is such a thing as personal responsibility

So like someone has said if I wear a short skirt and someone slaps my bum it's my fault for wearing the shirt skirt?

The fact the pictures are explicit makes no difference , its the harassment we receive .

I actually think that's quite a weak analogy. It's not really compatible. How about if you were burgled after telling the local scouts you'd be on holiday for 2 weeks but your back door was being left unlocked. I think most people would be sympathetic but probably somewhat incredulous that you had made it so easy for them. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to"

Aren't you confusing "don't want your photo shared" with "don't want to be harassed"?

I don't condone the harassment but having a large public gallery of explicit photos that easily identify the OP is beyond me. I'm not a fan if victim blaming but equally there is such a thing as personal responsibility

So like someone has said if I wear a short skirt and someone slaps my bum it's my fault for wearing the shirt skirt?

The fact the pictures are explicit makes no difference , its the harassment we receive . "

I get what you mean, you don't want to have your ex force you to change your behaviour.

Dunno, shame he isn't decent enough to realise that you're allowed to conduct your life in whatever way you want to and it's none of his business. Don't know if there's any laws that will force him to not give a shit, sadly. I completely broke contact with my ex because he was trying to manipulate my life after we spit up, just told him we haven't been friends for years and he's nothing to do with me so he had no right to tell me what to do with my life. He still sees his kids, i do not speak to him when he picks them up, i do not give off any signals that i am interested in talking to him, listening to him or anything like that. I even make it clear i am not comfortable with him just strolling into my house uninvited and never invite him in. He gets the message most of the time and when he doesn't a i talk to him like shit in as little words as possible then ignore him again. Crap way to be with someone but it's the only way to get my message across to him that i am not interested in his opinion on anything and i'd rather have nothing to do with him at all.

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By *rab74Man
over a year ago

Huntingdon

[Removed by poster at 26/08/15 21:55:59]

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By *rab74Man
over a year ago

Huntingdon


"We don't quite understand some of the negative comments we received.

No disrespect but I suspect you are confusing "don't understand" with "don't want to listen to"

Aren't you confusing "don't want your photo shared" with "don't want to be harassed"?

I don't condone the harassment but having a large public gallery of explicit photos that easily identify the OP is beyond me. I'm not a fan if victim blaming but equally there is such a thing as personal responsibility

So like someone has said if I wear a short skirt and someone slaps my bum it's my fault for wearing the shirt skirt?

The fact the pictures are explicit makes no difference , its the harassment we receive .

I actually think that's quite a weak analogy. It's not really compatible. How about if you were burgled after telling the local scouts you'd be on holiday for 2 weeks but your back door was being left unlocked. I think most people would be sympathetic but probably somewhat incredulous that you had made it so easy for them. "

And that's an even worse analogy. When you're in a hole, reverse the fucking JCB.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I don't condone the harassment but having a large public gallery of explicit photos that easily identify the OP is beyond me. I'm not a fan if victim blaming but equally there is such a thing as personal responsibility"

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Having looked again I can't work out who sent pics to who?

Someone you met sent your pics to her own ex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I doubt it, as the op post's pics on an open forum. Ie a public place. Not sure where the law would stand on this, as the pics are already out there for all to see. And in effect, the op is complicit, in openly displaying pics of themselves.

I don't get this "they deserve what they get" attitude. If you met someone who outed you to friends, family and colleagues would you feel it was your own fault?

I agree that it's a risk we all run but the person responsible for sending the pictures to the ex was the one who actually did it."

This is not a 'you deserve what you get' response. It's merely stating fact and how the law would see it. Nothing more than that.

Someone also mentioned harassment, but the law also requires that at least one warning to be issued, and you must be able to prove that the alleged harasser received that warning, or at the very least, understood or should known that there actions could be deemed to be harassment.

Once again, not a 'deserve what you get 'response, just stating fact.

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

Revenge porn and someone putting their faces, body pics for open access on a sex/swing site that someone else spots and makes another person aware of/shows are two different things.

To avoid the latter blank out your pics or make them private. Dont put them up for open viewing in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same."

The two people in your avatar agree with all you've said I assume?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same.

The two people in your avatar agree with all you've said I assume?"

You can barely see my face in the avatar pic let alone the obscured ones.

Fully compliant with site rules and I'm also happy that the people in the pic can't be identified so I'm comfortable on a moral level too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take this as a lesson

Anything you put on the net will stay for years .

And some low life will find them and use the, against you

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same.

The two people in your avatar agree with all you've said I assume?

You can barely see my face in the avatar pic let alone the obscured ones.

Fully compliant with site rules and I'm also happy that the people in the pic can't be identified so I'm comfortable on a moral level too."

I see, well as long as you're comfortable that's great and they wont mind if it's used elsewhere or sent to your friends and family after all its on the internet and will be their own fault.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same.

The two people in your avatar agree with all you've said I assume?

You can barely see my face in the avatar pic let alone the obscured ones.

Fully compliant with site rules and I'm also happy that the people in the pic can't be identified so I'm comfortable on a moral level too.

I see, well as long as you're comfortable that's great and they wont mind if it's used elsewhere or sent to your friends and family after all its on the internet and will be their own fault."

It's fully clothed, hard to identify as me, years old, not on the Internet anywhere else, I think I could cope. If any of my faceless nude pop up then it's the same thing, its nearly impossible to identify as me.

There's small risks and big risks, mine is small, the ops is big.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same.

The two people in your avatar agree with all you've said I assume?

You can barely see my face in the avatar pic let alone the obscured ones.

Fully compliant with site rules and I'm also happy that the people in the pic can't be identified so I'm comfortable on a moral level too.

I see, well as long as you're comfortable that's great and they wont mind if it's used elsewhere or sent to your friends and family after all its on the internet and will be their own fault.

It's fully clothed, hard to identify as me, years old, not on the Internet anywhere else, I think I could cope. If any of my faceless nude pop up then it's the same thing, its nearly impossible to identify as me.

There's small risks and big risks, mine is small, the ops is big."

I'm not talking about your risk. My point was that you are saying the fault lies with the people who post the picture while having a picture with other people in it on your profile. I understand that it would be difficult to identify any of you and you have taken that calculated risk.....do they know they have?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same.

The two people in your avatar agree with all you've said I assume?

You can barely see my face in the avatar pic let alone the obscured ones.

Fully compliant with site rules and I'm also happy that the people in the pic can't be identified so I'm comfortable on a moral level too.

I see, well as long as you're comfortable that's great and they wont mind if it's used elsewhere or sent to your friends and family after all its on the internet and will be their own fault.

It's fully clothed, hard to identify as me, years old, not on the Internet anywhere else, I think I could cope. If any of my faceless nude pop up then it's the same thing, its nearly impossible to identify as me.

There's small risks and big risks, mine is small, the ops is big.

I'm not talking about your risk. My point was that you are saying the fault lies with the people who post the picture while having a picture with other people in it on your profile. I understand that it would be difficult to identify any of you and you have taken that calculated risk.....do they know they have?"

Their risk of what exactly? Being associated with a swinger? Luckily I'm a young single guy so looking for sex isn't all that out of the ordinary and is about as bad as being on POF.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same.

The two people in your avatar agree with all you've said I assume?

You can barely see my face in the avatar pic let alone the obscured ones.

Fully compliant with site rules and I'm also happy that the people in the pic can't be identified so I'm comfortable on a moral level too.

I see, well as long as you're comfortable that's great and they wont mind if it's used elsewhere or sent to your friends and family after all its on the internet and will be their own fault.

It's fully clothed, hard to identify as me, years old, not on the Internet anywhere else, I think I could cope. If any of my faceless nude pop up then it's the same thing, its nearly impossible to identify as me.

There's small risks and big risks, mine is small, the ops is big.

I'm not talking about your risk. My point was that you are saying the fault lies with the people who post the picture while having a picture with other people in it on your profile. I understand that it would be difficult to identify any of you and you have taken that calculated risk.....do they know they have?

Their risk of what exactly? Being associated with a swinger? Luckily I'm a young single guy so looking for sex isn't all that out of the ordinary and is about as bad as being on POF."

Fine! If you feel it's ok to do that to other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same.

The two people in your avatar agree with all you've said I assume?

You can barely see my face in the avatar pic let alone the obscured ones.

Fully compliant with site rules and I'm also happy that the people in the pic can't be identified so I'm comfortable on a moral level too.

I see, well as long as you're comfortable that's great and they wont mind if it's used elsewhere or sent to your friends and family after all its on the internet and will be their own fault.

It's fully clothed, hard to identify as me, years old, not on the Internet anywhere else, I think I could cope. If any of my faceless nude pop up then it's the same thing, its nearly impossible to identify as me.

There's small risks and big risks, mine is small, the ops is big.

I'm not talking about your risk. My point was that you are saying the fault lies with the people who post the picture while having a picture with other people in it on your profile. I understand that it would be difficult to identify any of you and you have taken that calculated risk.....do they know they have?

Their risk of what exactly? Being associated with a swinger? Luckily I'm a young single guy so looking for sex isn't all that out of the ordinary and is about as bad as being on POF.

Fine! If you feel it's ok to do that to other people."

To do what to other people?

To obscure the faces of women met swinging and use it as a profile pic?

Surely you object then to all pics that aren't of the individual(s) who own the profile.

Or is it just my pics?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same.

The two people in your avatar agree with all you've said I assume?

You can barely see my face in the avatar pic let alone the obscured ones.

Fully compliant with site rules and I'm also happy that the people in the pic can't be identified so I'm comfortable on a moral level too.

I see, well as long as you're comfortable that's great and they wont mind if it's used elsewhere or sent to your friends and family after all its on the internet and will be their own fault.

It's fully clothed, hard to identify as me, years old, not on the Internet anywhere else, I think I could cope. If any of my faceless nude pop up then it's the same thing, its nearly impossible to identify as me.

There's small risks and big risks, mine is small, the ops is big.

I'm not talking about your risk. My point was that you are saying the fault lies with the people who post the picture while having a picture with other people in it on your profile. I understand that it would be difficult to identify any of you and you have taken that calculated risk.....do they know they have?

Their risk of what exactly? Being associated with a swinger? Luckily I'm a young single guy so looking for sex isn't all that out of the ordinary and is about as bad as being on POF.

Fine! If you feel it's ok to do that to other people.

To do what to other people?

To obscure the faces of women met swinging and use it as a profile pic?

Surely you object then to all pics that aren't of the individual(s) who own the profile.

Or is it just my pics?"

No. All I am saying is that you have said that if you put photos on the net it's your own fault if something happens to them that you didn't want to. I think that with two other people on a photo of yours it's at odds with what you said but clearly demonstrates that we don't have control over how our images are used.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we are a very outgoing couple and love having our photos on show for everyone to see . But yet again after changing to a new profile and moving our location 100 miles away someone from our past has seen us and sent our pictures to her ex husband .

All our friends families and work now know what we do so there's no problems that way. But feel so frustrated that we can't be who we want to be on here.

Is there anything that can be done to the person that keeps doing this ? "
hey it goes hand in hand with the disappointments of this place unfortunately ,some people on here treat others dispicably and the people they've treated badly react in a bad way ,others handle the disappointments well and move on some get labelled stalkers for example some are and that's certainly not a good thing they need to be punished ,some are innocent but have been given the label ,some women promise things and renege on their promises or change the goal posts its a site full of highs and lows ,jealousy high on the list not much any of us can do maybe do different pics that that person can't recognise and have another go at disappearing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you don't want people to see it then don't put it on the Internet.

Obviously it's inappropriate for people to draw attention if they find said photos but you put them out there for everyone to see, including your ex, boss, family and anyone else with an Internet connection.

Revenge porn is bad, being caught out is not the same.

The two people in your avatar agree with all you've said I assume?

You can barely see my face in the avatar pic let alone the obscured ones.

Fully compliant with site rules and I'm also happy that the people in the pic can't be identified so I'm comfortable on a moral level too.

I see, well as long as you're comfortable that's great and they wont mind if it's used elsewhere or sent to your friends and family after all its on the internet and will be their own fault.

It's fully clothed, hard to identify as me, years old, not on the Internet anywhere else, I think I could cope. If any of my faceless nude pop up then it's the same thing, its nearly impossible to identify as me.

There's small risks and big risks, mine is small, the ops is big.

I'm not talking about your risk. My point was that you are saying the fault lies with the people who post the picture while having a picture with other people in it on your profile. I understand that it would be difficult to identify any of you and you have taken that calculated risk.....do they know they have?

Their risk of what exactly? Being associated with a swinger? Luckily I'm a young single guy so looking for sex isn't all that out of the ordinary and is about as bad as being on POF.

Fine! If you feel it's ok to do that to other people.

To do what to other people?

To obscure the faces of women met swinging and use it as a profile pic?

Surely you object then to all pics that aren't of the individual(s) who own the profile.

Or is it just my pics?

No. All I am saying is that you have said that if you put photos on the net it's your own fault if something happens to them that you didn't want to. I think that with two other people on a photo of yours it's at odds with what you said but clearly demonstrates that we don't have control over how our images are used."

My comments apply as much to me as to anyone else. That is why all public pics are faceless, all friends ones are partially obscured and the only face pics are set to private.

I am perfectly happy for any of my public pics to be sent as they are either non sexual or unidentifiable.

If it was me naked with 2 women engaged in a sex act and my face visible then you might have a point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, have you changed your privacy settings so that people can't see your pics if they aren't members of this site? That might help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the US, this has become a real problem. So much so that the TV show "60 minutes" did a story on it. 22 states either don't have revenge porn laws, or they're ineffective.

Some victims (unfortunately typically female) have submitted full body pics to have them copywrited. It's kind of extreme.

Then if anybody uses a likeness of you without consent, and a revenge porn law does not apply, you have some legal recourse. --for copywrite infringement. And you can pursue financial penalties.

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