FabSwingers.com forum: Those that dont read the profile

By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I have been on swinging sites for a few years now and have learnt how to spot if a person has read my profile or not.

Normally it is not.

I normally mail them back saying that its good they liked my profile but shame they didnt actually read it.

Short, I know, but when you may have 30 like that I get to a point where I am pleased and surprised when someone actually does read it.

I normally mail them that or similar and then occasionslly they mail back to then try prove to me that they did read it first time and dig a deeper hole lol.

I normally just delete the message.

I never block them as only normally only block a person if I find them rude or something just makes me feel like the block button has to be pushed.

So its normally delete the message but dont think about blocking them.

I just had another message from a guy who mailed me a while back and didnt read my profile then as now. I suddenly thought why in god name didnt I block him in the first place so in another 2 months I dont get the same message from the same person.

So now decided to do that so eventually I will not be found on the search for that guy again so its one less person to mail me again.

Eventually I hope that the ones who actually do read the profile and not just perv the pics,scan the profile and read the verfications will be left.

Does every single fem who gets a decent amount of mail do this and have I just woken up and thought clearly or do they just delete like I have been doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i basically just delete the emails, i rarely block....only if someone is abusive, or making a nuisance of themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to do something along the same lines as you. But it interrupted too much with the ones who had actually made the effort to read my profile.

If I am confident they haven't read my profile or are repeat messages then I block them. Makes it easier to get on with the real fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get may be 5 to 10 unsolicited messages a day, and count myself lucky for having so few messages compare with the others.

I would like to believe it is partly down to my lengthy profile.

Those who are after quick shags would have lost the will to live after reading the first half and bog off, and they would have missed the magic word I would like to see in the message title towards the end of the profile text.

I went through a phase of not replying to messages when I was not meeting/looking for anyone.

However, I normally reply, even if it is just a short "No thanks."

I don't block either, unless they keep sending me messages after I have declined them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My philosophy is if they message me and they are not my type, I tell them no thanks then delete and block them. As stated, it stops them contacting me again.

I advised guys to do this too when they get a rejection, save them sending another message to the same person. Some of the guys thanked me for the advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm to the OP, think I am coming to the same conclusion as you, starting to get a bit bored with the repeat enquiries from men i have already declined!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive started to block everyone im not interested in, saves lots of time and effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took a lot of stick for blocking so many people when the subject was aired a year or so ago, these days more and more people are finding it suits them.

As some have said it prevents repeat messages after you have declined someone.

For those who use the chatrooms it slows down the pace of the room if you block anyone you are never going to talk to or meet.

For some that would be those without pictures on thier profiles or perhaps one line profilers, married and cheating people, those into things you are not like watersports or such like.

There are many reasons why the block list can be used, it's rarely personal, it is just a way of cutting down on unwanted mail.

For myself I block locals who have no photographs, it's one thing to be recognised in the street but when you have no idea that the person is on the site it is a bit disconcerting.

We were recognised as site members by someone at the gym we use recently it was harmless and the person who recognised us did have pictures on thier own profile so we were able to read about them in the same way they had read about us.

People do get upset at being blocked but I don't think they should, move on it means nothing, if you say hello to someone in a bar and they opt not to say hello back you rarely get upset by it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I took a lot of stick for blocking so many people when the subject was aired a year or so ago, these days more and more people are finding it suits them.

As some have said it prevents repeat messages after you have declined someone.

For those who use the chatrooms it slows down the pace of the room if you block anyone you are never going to talk to or meet.

For some that would be those without pictures on thier profiles or perhaps one line profilers, married and cheating people, those into things you are not like watersports or such like.

There are many reasons why the block list can be used, it's rarely personal, it is just a way of cutting down on unwanted mail.

For myself I block locals who have no photographs, it's one thing to be recognised in the street but when you have no idea that the person is on the site it is a bit disconcerting.

People do get upset at being blocked but I don't think they should, move on it means nothing, if you say hello to someone in a bar and they opt not to say hello back you rarely get upset by it."

I agree with you blocking people, at the end of the day if they dont meet your criteria the there is no problem, however I cant agree with the last statement, if I said hello to someone and they ignored me I would think they were bloody ignorant

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Thanks everyone. Am going to start blocking those that cant be arsed to read my profile.

Am gonna be a block em lady lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive started to block everyone im not interested in, saves lots of time and effort"

Me too. Cos sometimes you find you get exactly the same message not a week later.... or is it just me with deja vu....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps I am too soft, as I would normally block on the third attempt.

On the second attempt, I would remind the sender he had previously contacted me and had been declined. Usually, I don't hear from them again after the reminder. Perhaps they blocked me after that, I do not know, as I don't follow it up by looking at their profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive started to block and delete repeat offenders who message me not understanding the word "no"

and believe it or not its nit just single men, a few couples recently have been very abusive and rude so yes i have blocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rude and abusive peeps deserve to be blocked IMHO, as there is no need for such behaviours on here and anywhere else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only really block those that get abusive or those that seem to think im going to drop everything for them or those i recognise (like my sons friend

who sent me a msg last night). I have though blocked someone who sent me a message, its obvious that he hasnt read my profile, so ive told him you are not for me, he goes off, a couple of months later i get the same message

On the third message, i tell him that this is the third time he has messaged me and then i blocked him.

When they say they have read your profile, what they mean is they have seen your picture and think "phwoar i want some of that!"

But i dont block everyone that doesnt fit my criteria as i dont see the point if we have had a fairly good conversation and as can be seen, ive only had one message me more than once since ive been here and in one year, thats not bad going

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rude and abusive peeps deserve to be blocked IMHO, as there is no need for such behaviours on here and anywhere else.

one was touch and go if i reported them but i thought i couldnt be bothered in the end lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What there's writing on profiles now as well as pics???

Bloody hell admin i cant keep up with these new features xx

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

"What there's writing on profiles now as well as pics???

Bloody hell admin i cant keep up with these new features xx

They are written quite high up short stuff - stand on tippy toes and you should be able to see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they tell me they have read my profile and it's blatently obvious they havent, I just tell them I would be interested but I do like people to be able to read.

Never hear off them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What there's writing on profiles now as well as pics???

Bloody hell admin i cant keep up with these new features xx

They are written quite high up short stuff - stand on tippy toes and you should be able to see

xx"

Oh yeah thanks hun xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What there's writing on profiles now as well as pics???

Bloody hell admin i cant keep up with these new features xx

They are written quite high up short stuff - stand on tippy toes and you should be able to see

feel free to ingore my dribble and perv my pics

Oh yeah thanks hun xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My bad again I meant more that if you chatted someone up in a bar and they weren't interested and said no thanks n moved away never to talk to you again, it's what we do we move on, we wouldn't run around saying "oh they blanked me" and that would be the same as blocking someone.

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Its interesting reading everyone elses thoughts.

I would rather have less mail from people that havent mailed me before rather than 30 and probably 20 have already mailed me before and I replied with thanks but no as you didnt read my profile.

Definately blocking those that dont read.

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

We use the old password trick in the profile

If you havent read the profile and your message has a title of hi.. there is a good chance of it ending straight in the bin

(although to be quite honest we do have a little glance but dont really pay that much attention to the contents as they normally are the cut and paste variety)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and you can usually tell a normal cut and paste job

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

Within our profile we have a password which must be quoted when messaging us

If the password is not quoted, it shows our profiles not been read, result, no password = blocked

If members don't have time to read our profile, we don't have time for them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Within our profile we have a password which must be quoted when messaging us

If the password is not quoted, it shows our profiles not been read, result, no password = blocked

If members don't have time to read our profile, we don't have time for them!

We do that also. Bottom of the profile, a keyword to put as subject.

But still each day, so many emails without it.

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

i normally block if a person just wont take no for an answer, had one guy yesterday decided to give up fab coz i wouldnt verify him after meeting for a coffee, he only wanted me to do that so he could meet someone who would only meet if verified........ i didnt verify him so he left........ he threw his teddies out the cot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I Have a password in my profile .. and i think it is quiet to the point !!!.. but still i get guys message me that have not read it .. so yes i am now hitting the block button !!

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"i normally block if a person just wont take no for an answer, had one guy yesterday decided to give up fab coz i wouldnt verify him after meeting for a coffee, he only wanted me to do that so he could meet someone who would only meet if verified........ i didnt verify him so he left........ he threw his teddies out the cot"

Why wouldnt you verify him?

Was he not who he said,was he really a woman? Did you catually meet him?

Can I ask,do you not think a woman has met your next man that your going to meet and verified him maybe and your going to meet him. So why would it be a problem you verifing a guy that is about to meet someone else before meeting you.

If you met him for coffee then it must have been(I guess)as your interested in seeing if the chemistry is there to possibly meet him yourself for fun.

Now I may have read this wrong but if your saying a man messaged you to meet him for a coffee for you to verify him so he can meet someone else and not you then can understand as that may be seen as cheeky.

Am slightly confused.

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Just seen my block list and it is increasing every day with those that dont read my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why wouldnt you verify him?

Was he not who he said,was he really a woman? Did you catually meet him?

If you met him for coffee then it must have been(I guess)as your interested in seeing if the chemistry is there to possibly meet him yourself for fun.

Am slightly confused.

i thought that as well tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive started to block and delete repeat offenders who message me not understanding the word "no"

and believe it or not its nit just single men, a few couples recently have been very abusive and rude so yes i have blocked

I have had to block a few guys who also dont know the meaning of NO, but some of them are getting sneaky by setting up another duplicate account similar profile writing but either a different location, age, username etc but when they message me they are using the same old pics which gives the game away slightly and i usually have a good eye for a guy that has sent a pic before and been turned down by me xxx Lois xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive started to block and delete repeat offenders who message me not understanding the word "no"

and believe it or not its nit just single men, a few couples recently have been very abusive and rude so yes i have blocked

Have just had the very same! About 2 minutes ago!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive started to block and delete repeat offenders who message me not understanding the word "no"

and believe it or not its nit just single men, a few couples recently have been very abusive and rude so yes i have blocked

Funny you should say that as ive had a message from someone with a picture on his profile that looks awfully like a picture i have seen on another profile, neither of whom i have blocked or turned down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive started to block and delete repeat offenders who message me not understanding the word "no"

and believe it or not its nit just single men, a few couples recently have been very abusive and rude so yes i have blocked

Have just had the very same! About 2 minutes ago!

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Grey that is your choice to block or not xxx

Others may block for that

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

My block list is getting massive lol

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By *averiMan
over a year ago

Swindon to bristol

"My block list is getting massive lol"

I should see a doc about that then! lol

Cocktail by the way!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Grey that is your choice to block or not xxx

Others may block for that"

What i was referring to was the comment about someone who gets blocked and sets up a completely new profile, abuses someone, gets blocked and starts again

It just seemed strange that i look at the picture the guy had on his profile and thought, im sure ive seen it before on someone else profile so im wondering if he either, deleted a profile and set up a new one, or he has 2 profiles with the same picture hedging his bets so to speak. Also ive one guy who seems to have changed colours in his pictures

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

apologies grey, got the wrong end of a stick then x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Grey that is your choice to block or not xxx

Others may block for that

What i was referring to was the comment about someone who gets blocked and sets up a completely new profile, abuses someone, gets blocked and starts again

this does happen - i received a lovely abusive message from a guy i had reported previously for abuse from a brand new profile that was clearly him. so he has double the chance of abusing women on here now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we purposely made ours a long profile to catch people out who dont read it.....soon s out the idiots who cant be arsed......and it works

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

wakey your so right.

Think I have blocked about 12 people today for not reading

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"apologies grey, got the wrong end of a stick then x"

No apology needed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we purposely made ours a long profile to catch people out who dont read it.....soon s out the idiots who cant be arsed......and it works"

Just read through your profile Wakeys - it's quite a giggle actually! Why can't folks be as open and honest as you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

woooo!

So glad I read your profile then Fruity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have been swinging for years now and learnt a long time ago that honesty attracts the right people........certainly keeps the wankers away thats for sure

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"woooo!

So glad I read your profile then Fruity

xx"

I was very glad too.

Always dissapoints me when a person I would really like to meet with doesnt bother to read it xx

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

Thoroughly pissed off with people obviously not bothering to read ours and sending friends invites even though there are no or very little common interests..

Always wanted to reply with 'why dont you read the fucking profile first????'...but we are too polite..

Had to post a silly warning at the top, which looks soooo negative, but it seems to have done the trick (apart from blanket posters)

Hate negative profiles where all people have a load of angst and dont this dont that...wont this..forget that none of these..none of them...and they have the cheek to say 'drop us a line if your interested'!!!

Tried to avoid that and give a fair reflection of us..but in the end we had to stick a little warning on to ward off the chancers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i basically just delete the emails, i rarely block....only if someone is abusive, or making a nuisance of themselves."

Thinking i should be like you, nuisance definitely when it clearly states i use my mobile as my alarm and i get a guy ring me at 11pm at night!!!

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

I read the looking for bit first before bothering to read the main bit of the profile. Saves me a lot of time...

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By *tevelizCouple
over a year ago

northampton

have read your profile, and it seems to be a cocktail of don't. That's fine, but do you ever get any meets?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we purposely made ours a long profile to catch people out who dont read it.....soon s out the idiots who cant be arsed......and it works"

What is it with people on here thinking that those that can't be bothered to read a massive long profile are all idiots? I'm a perfectly well adjusted, friendly, normal guy but I can't bothered to read massive long waffling profile because I have a life!

People have often said in reply to those that moan about not getting any meets that a FAB introduction is akin to walking into a pub and trying to introduce yourself to everyone at the same time. Some people say 'if I've bothered to write a long profile, the least you could do is read it'...no! I don't want to read your life story, I don't want to have to write down all the things you don't want and go back through them and check them off to make sure I satisfy your criteria and end up being the one person left on FAB who you might actually be interested in!

As for this password guff, looking through some of the posters on this thread who have stated they use them, it seems to me they're the ones who have the massive long profiles and a list of what they aren't looking for but want to actually make you read what they have to say. No thanks

I do read profiles and if I send you a message and you aren't interested, by all means block me. I understand why you've done and have no problem with it but should people really be proud of the size of their block list????? Is that a measurement by which you want others to judge you? 'Oooo, check out her/his/their block list, they must be popular!!'

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By *ush girlWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Hehehe

some people just don't make any effort at all

I cleary state not interested in men but MF couples still as 'want to treat my hubby' or 'I'm on my own would you be interested if she joins us later' I know those are time wasting single blokes trying it on & havnt even bothered so why should I not block!

It's all about my choice so what's the point of whining??

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"have read your profile, and it seems to be a cocktail of don't. That's fine, but do you ever get any meets?

LOl. er, yes I get alot of meets. I am lucky in the fact that I get alot of people wanting to meet me as do other single females. If you scroll down to my verfications you wil see I get plenty of meets and never short of offers from lovely people but often the offers are from those that dont bother to read.

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"we purposely made ours a long profile to catch people out who dont read it.....soon s out the idiots who cant be arsed......and it works

In answer.

Can anyone see my block list? Dont think so.

My block those that dont read thread was purely me stating that after 4 years of doing this and getting mail time and time again to people I have already said no to its suddenly made me think its better to block them to save me time.

If you can be bothered thats your choice but you will likely miss out on(IMHO) many meets as many people on here want people to actually be arsed to read.

If a person cant be bothered to make the effort in reading a profile then they cant be bothered to make sure they do fit into what I am looking for and get to know me.What else cant they be bothered in. Foreplay, smelling nice??

I know its all effort! Sorry if a man needs to make an effort. I take hours getting ready,its called making the effort.

Sorry but I am not going to waste my time replying to everyone man that cant be bothered to read. Its not very hard normally. Its a bit of effort.

Those that do read it and note the keyword get a nice reply and then I look and read their profile to see if we match up.

For every 80 man/couples/single fems that dont make the effort there are some lovely ones that do make the effort.

High 5 to those that do xxx

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Tongue in cheek here.....

live for the moment, I did begin to read your profile but it got so long and I was tired. Can you accomodate me?

No? Sorry did I miss the last bit on your profile about accomodating as I couldnt be bothered to read that far.

See how it works.

Hope you do see that as me taking the mick but in a nice way.

Does it give you food for thought?

If yes great, if no fair enough xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tongue in cheek here.....

live for the moment, I did begin to read your profile but it got so long and I was tired. Can you accomodate me?

No? Sorry did I miss the last bit on your profile about accomodating as I couldnt be bothered to read that far.

See how it works.

Hope you do see that as me taking the mick but in a nice way.

Does it give you food for thought?

If yes great, if no fair enough xxxx"

Taken as given Fruit

You didn't have to read the whole profile to find if I can accommodate you...its just under the heading 'Meeting', the bit that says 'can't accommodate'... Lol!

I totally know where you're coming from and I wasn't actually having a pop at you directly, I actually think you've got a really good profile. It was more the ones you have to scroll down to reach the bottom of the intro description. Lol@ my profile being so long!

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we purposely made ours a long profile to catch people out who dont read it.....soon s out the idiots who cant be arsed......and it works

I guess you don't care if people can't be bothered reading your long post

We don't think people are idiots just because they don't want to read our long profile, that is thier choice. We just are not interested in those that don't, that is our choice.

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"Tongue in cheek here.....

live for the moment, I did begin to read your profile but it got so long and I was tired. Can you accomodate me?

No? Sorry did I miss the last bit on your profile about accomodating as I couldnt be bothered to read that far.

See how it works.

Hope you do see that as me taking the mick but in a nice way.

Does it give you food for thought?

If yes great, if no fair enough xxxx

Taken as given Fruit

You didn't have to read the whole profile to find if I can accommodate you...its just under the heading 'Meeting', the bit that says 'can't accommodate'... Lol!

xxxx"

When you originally posted it sounded like you really couldnt be arsed/bothered to read a profile which really surprised me. Hence my tongue in cheek reply at prooving its easy to miss something important if you dont read the profile.

I know my profile needs redoing but it always ends up a list of what i dont want and less of what I do lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have to agree with others you should verify him , if nothing else you should at least just say he turned up ect

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive been told my profile is long, but i think it says everything i wanted it to say. Ive now got my message filter set so that only guys with pictures and verifications can message me, it has cut my in box right down and the messages i receive tend to be well written ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually delete the one liners with no pics - as they clearly haven't read my profile. I had a guy the other day message me this "too long can't be arsed" quite why he had bothered to even message me is beyond me, needless to say he got blocked!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive been told my profile is long, but i think it says everything i wanted it to say. Ive now got my message filter set so that only guys with pictures and verifications can message me, it has cut my in box right down and the messages i receive tend to be well written ones"

Nah, it is not THAT long!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Ive started to block everyone im not interested in, saves lots of time and effort"

Welcome to the world of Madchick.

Blocked another 3 today who can't read, didn't do as the profile asked or were totally NOT what the profile asked for.

Whats the point of giving them the chance to ping you back, moaning about deleting their message or worse, sending you the same message 2 weeks later.

I have started sending a message back though...... standard cut and paste.

"Thank you for your message.

However, I only shag literate men, and as you obviously can't/won't read, I won't bother even thinking about it.

Idiot"

send, back into the message, block user, delete.

Done!

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

have to agree with others you should verify him , if nothing else you should at least just say he turned up ect "

If its the lady I think your referring to she private messaged me and she certainly was looking at the verify bit in a very different way to me and you.

I verify to say the person is the person in the photos on the profile when I met them for a drink wether there is any play or not or wether I will meet him again.

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Wow mad, sounds like you tell it like it is lol. Well done you.

I mail back saying thanks but dont read those that cant be bothered to read my profile. Then block them to save them messaging me again in a few weeks/months time.

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By *tevelizCouple
over a year ago

northampton

please remember, it's not only the single adies hat getmessages from people that have not read profiles. Also they are not all from single men.

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By *ruit OP Woman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Steveliz your very right. I also get couples who dont bother to read the profile.

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By *irtyduoCouple
over a year ago

nr stirling

i actually just giggle and reply you've already sent that message!!!

i just delete. i dont feel the need to block just because they are sending another message unless of course they are being abusive!

this is a fun site and i think this is part of the fun lol!!!

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By *irtyduoCouple
over a year ago

nr stirling

and as a couple if we are interested in a profile we always read the profile to make sure its both wot we are looking for!!!

each to their own i say!

we can be interested in a profile and half way down they like things we dont!! so we dont contact! simples xx

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Some just don't read... weird humans.

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