FabSwingers.com forum: Manners

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe I am wrong, but isn't it rude if people don't reply to messages.

Have been chatting to a couple, became "friends" on the site and now they don't answer my message. Are they just looking to add "friends" in the hope that it encourages others to chat to them? Just find it annoying when people don't answer!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if you have crafted a well written message that speaks to what they seek, it is rude.

however, it will not change so you need to get used to it.

block, so you don't contact them again and move on

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

The forum rules state that a no reply isn't rude. A no reply as far as I'm concerned means "oh stevie, thank you soooooooo much for contacting me/us, I/we are very keen to meet you and are really gagging for it, actually, but, alas, are unable to meet you".

Stevie world is a fantastic place to live.

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By *unPeteMan
over a year ago

Near Bristol

I'm going to turn this completely around ... maybe, just maybe they're having second thoughts because they think they're not good enough for you ... and are too embarrassed to tell you.

Well it always helps me to think that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I consider it bad manners of some random person online to assume because a few messages have been exchanged that the other party then HAS to reply to messages.

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By *he devil wears pradaWoman
over a year ago

gosport ish

"I consider it bad manners of some random person online to assume because a few messages have been exchanged that the other party then HAS to reply to messages. "
Indeed

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Maybe I am wrong, but isn't it rude if people don't reply to messages.

How many.messages have you sent that they haven't replied to? If it's more than one I'd stop communicating with you to be honest as I find that far too pushy. There are any number of reasons why they didn't reply as quickly as you wanted them to.

Stop fixating on your sent box. I get that it's exciting to get a bite but you need to appreciate that messages doesn't equal meets.

If you are unhappy that they have used you to just boost their friends numbers then unfriend them md carry on your merry way x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I consider it bad manners of some random person online to assume because a few messages have been exchanged that the other party then HAS to reply to messages. Indeed

Agree and maybe you have said something or been pushy?

Or perhaps they simply decided you were not what they were looking for... It happens.

We don't know but let's hope said couple don't read forums x

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

Excuse us, but he's only been on the site for 3 weeks, hardly the time to have experienced a significant number of belated "rebuffs" by no reply!

Maybe the content of his messages just kind of fizzled out for the other party? Who knows, get over it and get some service in before raising complaints. Unless of course you want a reputation as a whiner, in which case you'll def get few replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe I am wrong, but isn't it rude if people don't reply to messages.

Also forgot to mention in other post but how and why would they add you in hope of other people adding/chatting to them?

This isn't Facebook your friends don't show on profile although years ago on fab you could _iew who people were friends with as it did shoe on profiles x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you've been here three weeks and this is the fourth thread you've started about having no luck/ manners/being let down.

I suggest you re-think how you approach people, the content of your messages and the frequency! Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" This isn't Facebook your friends don't show on profile although years ago on fab you could _iew who people were friends with as it did shoe on profiles x"

Erm yes they do. You can chose to hide your friends or show them on your profile. I can see how may friends the OP has and who they are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" This isn't Facebook your friends don't show on profile although years ago on fab you could _iew who people were friends with as it did shoe on profiles x

Erm yes they do. You can chose to hide your friends or show them on your profile. I can see how may friends the OP has and who they are! "

That's me told then!!

I've just looked and can't see but will consider myself told off!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Hey Brian, the IOW is a small place really population wise so obviously there are going to be less swingers.

Legs has given you some advice about starting threads.

Why not organise your own social?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" This isn't Facebook your friends don't show on profile although years ago on fab you could _iew who people were friends with as it did shoe on profiles x

Erm yes they do. You can chose to hide your friends or show them on your profile. I can see how may friends the OP has and who they are!

That's me told then!!

I've just looked and can't see but will consider myself told off!"

That's because you're using the mobile site so wont see them, I'm on my laptop and can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" This isn't Facebook your friends don't show on profile although years ago on fab you could _iew who people were friends with as it did shoe on profiles x

Erm yes they do. You can chose to hide your friends or show them on your profile. I can see how may friends the OP has and who they are! "

Is that only available on the full site? I use the mobile site and I can't see who the OPs friends are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry you just answered my question. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" This isn't Facebook your friends don't show on profile although years ago on fab you could _iew who people were friends with as it did shoe on profiles x

Erm yes they do. You can chose to hide your friends or show them on your profile. I can see how may friends the OP has and who they are!

That's me told then!!

I've just looked and can't see but will consider myself told off!

That's because you're using the mobile site so wont see them, I'm on my laptop and can."

Will have to log on more with laptop before commenting, really didn't know that xx

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By *he devil wears pradaWoman
over a year ago

gosport ish

"Hey Brian, the IOW is a small place really population wise so obviously there are going to be less swingers.

Legs has given you some advice about starting threads.

Why not organise your own social? "
Theres plenty going on on this island that's for sure

and plenty of swingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" This isn't Facebook your friends don't show on profile although years ago on fab you could _iew who people were friends with as it did shoe on profiles x

Erm yes they do. You can chose to hide your friends or show them on your profile. I can see how may friends the OP has and who they are!

That's me told then!!

I've just looked and can't see but will consider myself told off!

That's because you're using the mobile site so wont see them, I'm on my laptop and can.

Will have to log on more with laptop before commenting, really didn't know that xx"

it's handy, especially if you're nosey like me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" This isn't Facebook your friends don't show on profile although years ago on fab you could _iew who people were friends with as it did shoe on profiles x

Erm yes they do. You can chose to hide your friends or show them on your profile. I can see how may friends the OP has and who they are!

That's me told then!!

I've just looked and can't see but will consider myself told off!

That's because you're using the mobile site so wont see them, I'm on my laptop and can.

Will have to log on more with laptop before commenting, really didn't know that xx

it's handy, especially if you're nosey like me

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

just my own experience, the first month or so when I joined, I replied to those I wasn't interested in with a polite 'no thanks'

a few then kept on pushing me... along the lines of 'but i'm different, give me a try', and a smaller amount of those got downright rude when I continued to say NO THANKS.

so now, i don't reply to a hell of a lot of messages, because frankly, its less stress for me in the long run.

move on. get messaging more people, and dont get pissed off just because one couple stopped chattin to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe I am wrong, but isn't it rude if people don't reply to messages.

When you say "chatting" is it just hellos and how are yous? Or is it conversations with substance? Sometimes people are just being polite but short little hellos and fine thanks can only go so far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only been here 2 weeks, I haven't found it difficult to meet people but I do know you just can't have everything yesterday. It takes time, but it pays off. Does it bother me if people don't reply to my messages? Maybe! But that's just how it works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/05/14 07:39:52]

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

No it isnt rude, no it isnt bad manners, no one owes you a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just another way of looking at it, do you reply to all of the spam emails that you get?

Is it not rude to ignore them rather than reply and say no thanks.

I'm not saying your email was spam, but if the couple get a lot of mail it's sometimes hard to reply to all. Therefore they only reply to the ones they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's maybe a bit rude if you have had dialogue before. But if people are going to ignore you from now on what can you realistically do about it???

Move on find another and don't dwell on it. People are not obliged to do anything on here people seem to get hung up about this.

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

Imo this is subjective. As a single blokey, I am rather flattered if someone makes an effort to send me a message, that is if they meet my requirements rather than being annoying, pushy gay men.. so I think it is good manors to take a few seconds to say thanks but you aint for me. Manors dont cost much time or money, but then I am lucky if I get anything at all, unlike a single lady or a couple. If you are getting 100 messages from people like me per dsy then I can understand it..

The next thing I question is that I may have chatted via message several times with people and then it goes cold for some reason, either time of day maybe or other things in life get in the way.. then do you bother saying hello again to see if theyre still interested in you or assume that that is it, you wouldnt know until trying. If a couple of messages get ignored, and they have been online during that period then I would forget it and move on..

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By *ubicinchMan
over a year ago

Gwynedd

There is also the handy 'read' or 'deleted'or even 'unread' notification next to your sent messages.. that can be a big clue. But then again, maybe in future when others have let them down, they may come back to look at you again one day, but thats wishful thinking! Not a lot you can do really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This isn't Facebook"

If it were possible, this is probably worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe I am wrong, but isn't it rude if people don't reply to messages.

Yes you are and no it isn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe I am wrong, but isn't it rude if people don't reply to messages.

"
Some get a lot of mail here. And at times you just don't feel like mailing back as others things are going on .Your friends have not blocked you so maybe they will mail when feel like it ... Its not rude its life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe I am wrong, but isn't it rude if people don't reply to messages.

They probably decided you weren't as attractive as they though before adding you. Rude? No its been said here 100 times its just ignorant people who think everyone should reply to unsolicited messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some will find it rude some won't , some will reply to all messages and some will only reply to the ones that interest them. everyone uses the site differently and in a way that suits them. you will be right in some people's eyes and wrong in others depending on their expectations. We had a message from a single male saying "hi " that's it, so we replied with a "hi" after a few one line messages back and forth we were asked about meeting to which we pointed out it says on our profile we are not looking for single men. we were met with abuse and told we should block single men so they can't message us !! so would we have been better to ignore the first message ? or were we polite In replying. ?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

This isn't Facebook

If it were possible, this is probably worse."

Then maybe you should consi....oh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/05/14 01:14:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I received over 1000 messages two days ago

I tried to reply to as many as I could

When it gets too much i delete in bulk as i don't think its fair to pick ones out

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