FabSwingers.com forum: Single Guys, what’s wrong.

By *K86 OP Couple
2 weeks ago

Tenterden

My wife and I are feeling seriously let down by single men in the lifestyle.

“Hey” “want to come round”, grainy pictures where we can’t see your face, dick pics in the first message and being ghosted after a meet.

Couples, please help and advise as it’s got my wife quite down and thinking it’s her.

I’m beginning to think that clubs are the way to go and that’s it, rather than meets outside of that.

Honestly we both need some reassurance here.

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By *SexiiMan
2 weeks ago

Kent

Your wife is absolutely stunning firstly.

Secondly, its meeting people who cop out.

Just need to ensure when it all joins up they are not gonna flake out.

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By *K86 OP Couple
2 weeks ago

Tenterden

"Your wife is absolutely stunning firstly.

Secondly, its meeting people who cop out.

Just need to ensure when it all joins up they are not gonna flake out.

Thanks for the comment

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By *igBeardyDanMan
2 weeks ago

Bilston

Unfortunately i can write a nice polite message mention something that they are interested in and not be crude or creepy but it usually gets lost in a sea of yellow. Which is why i only meet at my local club. Most of the events have a group chat so you can get to know people on there and arrange any potential play before you get there.

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By *harAndBryCouple
2 weeks ago

Downham Market

OP: we think that 40% of the single guys on here are fantasists that like the idea of talking to couples and get all excited at arranging meets that they have no intention of attending. Another 40% are married or otherwise attached and when it comes down to it they can't get a reasonable excuse for being away from the house.

20% are decent, honest, single guys. Unfortunately it's then making the pool of available guys smaller as you have to factor in distance and actual attraction, so it's actually hard to arrange anything at all.

Char gets the same thing - every time a guys cancels or doesn't show, she takes it that they didn't actually want to meet her and it knocks her confidence. Add in the two hours she might have spent getting ready for a meet and she has quite a come down when it doesn't happen.

It's not you two, it's the guys.

Only thing we can say, is that our no-show rate among guys that have meet verifications is a lot lower than those that have none.

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By *WB85Man
2 weeks ago

Staffordshire

My best is advice is to use a slow and relaxed approach.

Lots of single men don't appreciate that approach and will ghost before anything even happens. Everyone can talk the talk.....but can they then actually stay true to their words.

We call it our vetting system, it helps us find those with a similar mindset.

I hope you guys both find what you're looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

"My wife and I are feeling seriously let down by single men in the lifestyle.

“Hey” “want to come round”, grainy pictures where we can’t see your face, dick pics in the first message and being ghosted after a meet.

Couples, please help and advise as it’s got my wife quite down and thinking it’s her.

I’m beginning to think that clubs are the way to go and that’s it, rather than meets outside of that.

Honestly we both need some reassurance here."

Having had first hand experience of the small town where you live I can tell you it’s not you, it’s the town. We were on fab there a while back and it was definitely slim pickings.. My husband got more luck on fabguys at the time, but even those guys were all married men seeking secret fun.

You guys look great, so don’t take it personally.

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By *hunkymonkey81Man
2 weeks ago

Sheffield

Mature single guy very respectful

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By *ilmour98Man
2 weeks ago

Fethiye

Here for me it’s the opposite , two times we arranged a meeting with a couple and they made me wait in the reception them didn’t show up.Most of the couples here are also time wasters.So I don’t think the problem here is either one of us, problem is people who don’t show up.

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By *BCBWCCouple (MM)
2 weeks ago

Manchester

"Here for me it’s the opposite , two times we arranged a meeting with a couple and they made me wait in the reception them didn’t show up.Most of the couples here are also time wasters.So I don’t think the problem here is either one of us, problem is people who don’t show up."

yes we want to apologies for single guys not turning up or following through . but just like above had the the same from possibly fake couples who just disappeared even after waiting in pubs for just socials

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex

Block all single men from messaging you, search for profiles that appeal and contact them. It's not easy for anybody on fab to meet good, decent people it takes time, patience and a bit of leg work. I'd say a maximum 2 out of every 30 profiles we've interacted with have led to social meets and of those meets a very low percentage have resulted in anything more.

What were your expectations of the site?

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By *BCBWCCouple (MM)
2 weeks ago

Manchester

Agree . our meets have been with lovely people . but yes it takes time to make connections. find the real people and develop relationships that are true and meaningful. and then when the bond is there the hot sexy is real and comfortable.

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
2 weeks ago

South East

"My wife and I are feeling seriously let down by single men in the lifestyle.

“Hey” “want to come round”, grainy pictures where we can’t see your face, dick pics in the first message and being ghosted after a meet.

Couples, please help and advise as it’s got my wife quite down and thinking it’s her.

I’m beginning to think that clubs are the way to go and that’s it, rather than meets outside of that.

Honestly we both need some reassurance here."

Clubs are so much better and easier for meeting, it’s the only way we play now and would t have it any other way

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By *ildmanYorksMan
2 weeks ago

Doncaster/Bembridge

"My wife and I are feeling seriously let down by single men in the lifestyle.

“Hey” “want to come round”, grainy pictures where we can’t see your face, dick pics in the first message and being ghosted after a meet.

Couples, please help and advise as it’s got my wife quite down and thinking it’s her.

I’m beginning to think that clubs are the way to go and that’s it, rather than meets outside of that.

Honestly we both need some reassurance here."

All I can say is if I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to meet you, I definitely wouldn't flake out! She has a hot body that I'd want again and again.

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By *oupleInSyncCouple
2 weeks ago

Falkirk

The one thing I can confidently say in our experience is that it isn't you. We have experienced things very similarly. To give two examples from the past seven days...

A guy messaged our profile, I decided to explicitly explain our life situation, that we don't meet often due to logistics, that we do like a WhatsApp group chat with the three of us, that being patient and understanding would help. He spent a couple of days chatting sporadically, we were quiet over the weekend as we were together and busy. He left our WhatsApp group unannounced last night.

On Saturday past, a guy messaged with the standard issue "hey how are you guys", bit of a pet hate, but thought I'd be polite and replied that we were good and thanked them for asking. Their next message were three photos. A face pic, a body shot and a picture of their cock (just to be clear, completely unsolicited) along with their phone number. Then maybe ten minutes later, having noticed that we'd read the message, simply sent "?". So I felt I had to reply bluntly that we didn't ask for a photo of their cock, or their phone number.

The good news is that not everyone is the same, but sadly there's a lot of ing to do.

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By *abulincsCouple
2 weeks ago

near a bridge

We’ve had very similar guys wanna meet ect next time you’re looking drop us a message ect no reply 2 days later we still on for meeting lol

And then there’s the no shows ghosted,oh and one guy we drove over an hour to meet at his place ,see him get up go to back of property ring doorbell in rain for , 5 minutes get in car to drive away come running out lol

Then rang us saying come back I was putting shirt on I asked what colour his reply white oh same colour you had on when we arrived 🔔 end

We go clubs now

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By *ymbunny99Woman
2 weeks ago

sheerness

I only meet in clubs, I have had guys message to say they are on their way to meet me at a club and then never hear from them again

It does hit your confidence but I think they got a thrill out of being able to attract me, well that is what I tell myself lol

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
2 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

"I only meet in clubs, I have had guys message to say they are on their way to meet me at a club and then never hear from them again

It does hit your confidence but I think they got a thrill out of being able to attract me, well that is what I tell myself lol "

I don’t get this though. Why get the thrill of being able to attract you only to bottle the very chance to not only attract you but get to play with you and kiss your amazing body ? There are so many single men threads on the forum complaining they can’t get meets and then they do this ?

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By *ussex swingerMan
2 weeks ago

crawley

I’m a single guy and always got blocked or not even messaged back after I wrote a nice message .

Met a few couples and singles now but really hard to get invited to anything .

I go to parties now as I feel it’s better for me and I’ve got good feedback from people aswell as going bghs in Brighton

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By *herrybakewellCouple
2 weeks ago

Staffordshire

A big change I made recently is how I chat to people, and its actually helped to filter people.

Solo men tend to get a kick from rude chats and want pictures.

So I now make it very clear, non of that will ever happen until we've had a social and both agree there is a connection.

The majority get bored, but it saves me wasting my time.

This was my husbands tip, don't tell him....but it does actually work.

Mrs. X

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By *igBeardyDanMan
2 weeks ago

Bilston

I think theres someone for everyone on here but unfortunately they often live opposite ends of the country, the couples and single ladies who have mentioned problems meeting i would meet but live nowhere near

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By *rad670Man
2 weeks ago

South Lakes

I chat with and meet a few couples that feel the same from time t time but it has its advantages by filtering out idiots and people with no respect or manners, both qualities you might hope to find as a couple. Nothing wrong with your profile, possibly it's that many men under 45 have not grown up yet lol, it takes us a lot of years to mature, be patient.

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By *ognorworthibg23Man
2 weeks ago

littlehampton

"My wife and I are feeling seriously let down by single men in the lifestyle.

“Hey” “want to come round”, grainy pictures where we can’t see your face, dick pics in the first message and being ghosted after a meet.

Couples, please help and advise as it’s got my wife quite down and thinking it’s her.

I’m beginning to think that clubs are the way to go and that’s it, rather than meets outside of that.

Honestly we both need some reassurance here."

Just browsed your profile,am out of your age range but just have to say it's definitely not her(a stunner)

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
2 weeks ago

Coventry

We've met about 2 in 8 years on fab. But we meet people in clubs and have great experiences all the time. Regardless of if its a single or a couple you just encounter people face to face without being messed around or stood up. And when you meet people in the real world you quickly get a vibe for chemistry or not. And if not you simply move on, never a wasted night, never a wasted babysitter or day off work. And obviously if things go well you can arrange to meet outside of the club again. All our freinds in the lifestyle we've meet in clubs and parties. For us clubs are the only way to meet people (or occasionally just on random vanilla night out in town).

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

Single men: we can't get meets with couples!!!

Couples: we can't get meets with single guys!!!

The endless fab swingers conundrum

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By *ourHertsFWBMan
2 weeks ago

East Herts

"OP: we think that 40% of the single guys on here are fantasists that like the idea of talking to couples and get all excited at arranging meets that they have no intention of attending. Another 40% are married or otherwise attached and when it comes down to it they can't get a reasonable excuse for being away from the house.

It's not you two, it's the guys.

Only thing we can say, is that our no-show rate among guys that have meet verifications is a lot lower than those that have none."

Hello 👋 one of the 20% ers here

Genuine decent messages, respectful and a clothed pic usually shared in first or early messages, I'd say I get no reply 90% of the time, not even a thanks but not my type message.

Seems for the 40k people on here most evenings not that many are on the same page

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By *ourHertsFWBMan
2 weeks ago

East Herts

"My wife and I are feeling seriously let down by single men in the lifestyle.

“Hey” “want to come round”, grainy pictures where we can’t see your face, dick pics in the first message and being ghosted after a meet.

Couples, please help and advise as it’s got my wife quite down and thinking it’s her.

I’m beginning to think that clubs are the way to go and that’s it, rather than meets outside of that.

Honestly we both need some reassurance here.

Just browsed your profile,am out of your age range but just have to say it's definitely not her(a stunner)

Maybe its the area you are in? Fan says Littlehampton, that is very Unfortunate for this website 🤣

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By *4bimMan
2 weeks ago

Farnborough Hampshire

whatever you do in life it comes with risks.

some you control like how you fast you drive in a 30.

but what you cant control is people.

you have to expect a reaonable amount of people who enter your life will lie, cheat , steal and let you down.

this is no different. people will let you down.

its not exclusive to you, it happens to everyone. all sexes, all races.

you have to except this and be strong enough to move on and stand up.

if not its not for you.

sorry but lifes hard. for everyone.

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By *onMogsMan
2 weeks ago

Lincoln

As a single guy I always send respectful messages with thought behind them! I send pics of my face always when introducing myself. For me I think what unfortunately lets me down is 2 things. 1 I don’t have any couple or single f verifications in meeting in person and 2nd my physical attributes let me down. But if given the chance I would love to meet couples and be a regular. For me this is real and I want to meet others and have mutual fun more than once!

It’s a shame so many single guys do this! Message once and ghost with no intention of meeting

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By *ANiCURETV/TS
2 weeks ago

Winchester

Don't show too much interest and never ask them to meet again, wait till they ask you

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By *unner6969Man
2 weeks ago

Kent

As a single guy, I just wanted to say this isn’t your wife’s fault. Sadly, there are plenty of men who mistake confidence for entitlement and excitement for urgency.

There are good, respectful single men out there too - patient, communicative and genuinely interested in connection. Please don’t let the bad experiences convince her otherwise.

(And hello from Tenterden!) Small world, eh?

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By *ristolGuy46Man
2 weeks ago

Bristol

Most single men on here are desperate weirdo’s from what I can gather, the decent ones who aren’t pushy get ignored, just the nature of the site and the fact it’s saturated with men

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
2 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

Single men reached out tonight to say ooh you local, our profile says if we want a meet we will post it.. we haven’t posted a meet , we here for a funeral tomorrow.. the weirdos said let’s meet after ?? Like wtf

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By *easejasmineWoman
2 weeks ago

Wymondham norfolk

Mens ruin it,I have had plenty of time wasters no shows and ghosting. Dont let the idiots get you down.

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By *ighlander40Man
2 weeks ago

oxford

It's not you two, it's the guys.

Only thing we can say, is that our no-show rate among guys that have meet verifications is a lot lower than those that have none."

Having seen you both at VA only a blind idiot would back out if invited to meet Char . 💯 🔥 total goddess Wish I could magically shed a few years to get into your age range

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By *onyHoveMan
2 weeks ago

North East

Weirdly, the last thing I'm after when I chat is a rude discussion. I want a proper conversation that shows me people understand discretion, have some spark and humour, and are interested in a two way discussion. When that comes together all the delightful idea of why we are here falls into place. It's all an adventure. There might be elements of flirting, of course, going both ways.

Or it doesn't and nothing develops. That's fine too. You can chat a good while but things change for people. Family/illness/work or whatever. Things get in the way, but

there's nothing better than when you finally meet and you're all on the same page.

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By *oiluvfunMan
2 weeks ago

Penrith

"Most single men on here are desperate weirdo’s from what I can gather, the decent ones who aren’t pushy get ignored, just the nature of the site and the fact it’s saturated with men "

I used to do really well through Fab, but then I made the schoolboy error of ageing past 45. These days I rarely get a reply to a message, and it's fair to say my age is probably working against me, alongside the sheer numbers of single guys. Fab is no place for old men....

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