FabSwingers.com forum: Is it really a "lifestyle"

By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

Single blokes messaging us often say they've been in "the lifestyle" for years or that they want to try "the lifestyle".

But it seems instead they just want sex - which is fine. But is this really about being in the swinging "lifestyle"?

In fact, is it even a "lifestyle" rather than just, say, a hobby or pastime?

Like there's healthy lifestyles, active lifestyles, vegetarian lifestyles, etc - but they're constant ways of living.

We don't say people who frequently go off to play golf or spot trains are in a "golf lifestyle" or "train spotting lifestyle" (tho we may say they're sad ).

So is there really a "swinging lifestyle"? We've been swinging for years, but don't consider our occasional fun a "lifestyle".

Thoughts please

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 13/04/26 13:55:54]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

It irks me slightly to hear it referred to as 'the lifestyle' but it's an American term that's slowly becoming more common here

It's just a hobby to us and has never been our lifestyle so we think similarly to you.

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By *ootnootboopCouple
5 weeks ago

Cheshire

We think people use the term "the lifestyle" as it's something that's evolved to explain to people that they're involved in swinging without actually saying it explicitly. Kinda like a "if you know you know" thing.

Neither of us believe it is an actual lifestyle choice, except perhaps in a small amount of cases where people live, breathe and are totally invested in swinging. But we're not sure just how possible that really is!

In other words, it's probably just another term that really means nothing in particular.....

😁

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By *eyeYCouple
5 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

Not a lifestyle for us honestly, occasional fun involving others.

But understand where you're going, the other phrase is 'scene' find neither annoying but we always seem to require labels in this life 🤷😘

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By *issmorganWoman
5 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I'm half a couple and for us, we like the social side along with the other suff.

It's not a lifestyle as such no. We just enjoy organised socials, club meets and meets with other like minded couples from time to time.

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By *9 Love-To-TryCouple
5 weeks ago

East Anglia

We live a D/s life he has been my sub for 7 years now

Meeting swingers and like minded people up for sexy fun is great occasionally

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By *WB85Man
5 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Swinging is more than just sex to both me and my wife.

Honestly....meeting people for a mixture of social dates and hotel meets....its such a wonderful feeling.

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
5 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

We feel it’s more of a community than a life style, we dip our toes in and out and we prefer to build connections with others rather than just having sex.

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By *strokeC100Couple
5 weeks ago

chester

We sometimes call it a lifestyle. Didn’t think of it as an Americanism particularly- maybe in this context it is. . It certainly doesn’t quite fit what it is we and many others enjoy. ‘ Hobby’ may be more accurate but has overtones of fretwork!

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By *lik and PaulCouple
5 weeks ago

cahoots

In that swinging is part of an overall liberated lifestyle then it probably is. It's more about mindset for us.

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By *an1978Woman
5 weeks ago

Gwynedd/ Powys Border

It is different for everyone I guess.

For some it is just a once in a blue moon thing, some a hobby, for others it is their whole personality.

I'm not part of the "Swinger" lifestyle, but the site overlaps nicely with the Poly community.

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"It irks me slightly to hear it referred to as 'the lifestyle' but it's an American term that's slowly becoming more common here

It's just a hobby to us and has never been our lifestyle so we think similarly to you. "

Yes - "lifestyle" seems to be giving it greater status. It sounds good even if meaningless

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"We think people use the term "the lifestyle" as it's something that's evolved to explain to people that they're involved in swinging without actually saying it explicitly. Kinda like a "if you know you know" thing.

In other words, it's probably just another term that really means nothing in particular.....

😁"

Agree it's a term that means nothing in particular, though it sounds good.

And people who live, breathe and are totally invested in ANYTHING - be it swinging, train spotting, cars, football, whatever - are the sort of people you DON'T want to be stuck with at a party!

Okay, I'm being a bit mean to train spotters - nowt wrong with a train or two - and many people with niche interests are often quite interesting, at least for a bit ...

Hmm. I'm rambling

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"Not a lifestyle for us honestly, occasional fun involving others.

But understand where you're going, the other phrase is 'scene' find neither annoying but we always seem to require labels in this life 🤷😘"

Occasional fun.

Exactly

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"I'm half a couple and for us, we like the social side along with the other suff.

It's not a lifestyle as such no. We just enjoy organised socials, club meets and meets with other like minded couples from time to time. "

Yeah agree that the social side and meeting like minded folk is great, even if it's not a lifestyle as such

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"We live a D/s life he has been my sub for 7 years now

Meeting swingers and like minded people up for sexy fun is great occasionally

Don't know much about D/s stuff, but I suppose it might sometimes count as a "lifestyle" ...

Ps. While I don't know about D/s, I have seen AC/DC. Does that count?

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"We live a D/s life he has been my sub for 7 years now

Meeting swingers and like minded people up for sexy fun is great occasionally

Don't know much about D/s stuff, but I suppose it might sometimes count as a "lifestyle" ...

Ps. While I don't know about D/s, I have seen AC/DC. Does that count?

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By *umagain58Man
5 weeks ago

London

I try not to overthink these things about swinging lifestyle. What I like you might not and so on. What I try and do is to communicate and find out what pleases others. The end result is so much better then. I know others will

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"Swinging is more than just sex to both me and my wife.

Honestly....meeting people for a mixture of social dates and hotel meets....its such a wonderful feeling. "

It's liberating being able to talk to other adults about 'adult stuff' - tho the sex bit does add a bit of ... you know

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"We feel it’s more of a community than a life style, we dip our toes in and out and we prefer to build connections with others rather than just having sex.

That's a good way to put it - a community

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"We sometimes call it a lifestyle. Didn’t think of it as an Americanism particularly- maybe in this context it is. . It certainly doesn’t quite fit what it is we and many others enjoy. ‘ Hobby’ may be more accurate but has overtones of fretwork!

Yeah, hobby perhaps doesn't quite capture it ...

Though 'fretwork' sounds like a euphemism for something sexual

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"In that swinging is part of an overall liberated lifestyle then it probably is. It's more about mindset for us."

Have to think about that. Not sure if us swinging equals a "liberated lifestyle" cos we don't go broadcasting it to friends and family ...

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By *lanenakedMan
5 weeks ago

wychwood

It's 50 pc bullshit .. folk saying it's a 'lifestyle' are over thinking it and trying to dress it up. It's sex. So what .. I mean really, some folk like to make a song and dance about it. Guys will say anything if they think it'll get their dick wet.

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"It is different for everyone I guess.

For some it is just a once in a blue moon thing, some a hobby, for others it is their whole personality.

I'm not part of the "Swinger" lifestyle, but the site overlaps nicely with the Poly community."

Yes, commited polyamorous people have a definite lifestyle for sure

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By *xposedInTheMaleMan
5 weeks ago

Cambridgeshire

When we visited swingers resorts, it definitely felt like a lifestyle.

Other than that, it's just a word, and if you don't like it, then you have to come up with something better. I'm not sure "community" works because it implies there's only one group.

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By *ee And MikeCouple
5 weeks ago

Cannock

We are slightly different as a cuckold couple, in that our life is probably more of a lifestyle choice than most.

Words mean different things to different people.

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By *randMrsMaybeCouple
5 weeks ago

Glossop

Perhaps the lifestyle element is that if in a relationship you're non-monogamous?

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By *ust want fun 888Man
5 weeks ago

nearby

If I were lucky enough, the way I would phrase it is I’m in the swinging scene

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By *riel13Woman
5 weeks ago

Northampton

That's what they think it is

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By *quirtyndirty!Couple
5 weeks ago

Nottingham

It's not really a lifestyle for us but something we like to do every month or so.

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"We are slightly different as a cuckold couple, in that our life is probably more of a lifestyle choice than most.

Words mean different things to different people.

Hmm. Well that raises another question of what cuckolding means - like we use this profile occasionally if we're open to male company, but don't regard it as cuckolding - just a different sexual experience

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"Perhaps the lifestyle element is that if in a relationship you're non-monogamous? "

Yeah, that seems more like a constant 'lifestyle' arrangement, not occasional like swinging

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By *umi2 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Wild West

"It's not really a lifestyle for us but something we like to do every month or so. "

Same with us!

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
5 weeks ago

Coventry

Before I met Mr Misfit (on here) I was in the lifestyle as a single guy.

I wasn't here for no strings one on one causal sex. I was finding perfectly fine on other more conventional sites.

But what intrested me is the wider variety and freedom of this lifestyle. I was intrested in clubs, parties, multiple people and group sex. I wasn't looking to simply hook up, I was looking for something more and varied. And I found it. My first visit to a club was a massive step towards something so free and full of filthy opportunities. Also the ability to just chill with like minded people in various states of undress and see sights most people will never see. So for me being on here was far more than just getting my end away. It was unlocking an entire world where I just felt more at home.

As to if its a lifestyle or just a naughty hobby I think that's subjective. For us I'd say it's somewhere in between lifestyle and hobby. It's not what defines us but it's almost part of our DNA. Not that we're particularly frequent swingers but it's just knowing we have that freedom and that world where we feel so at home. It's under our skin and just a part of us and how we were forged as a couple.

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By *vonCalling2022Couple
5 weeks ago

Whyteleafe

Yes for some and no for others.

Not for us, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like being a bad girl sometimes!

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By *oupleSeducedCouple
5 weeks ago

Canterbury/Greenwich

Lifestyle refers to the typical way of life, habits, attitudes, and behaviors of an individual or group, reflecting their values and interests.

We think of ourselves as into the lifestyle. We go to clubs, socials and meet up with individuals and couples we met on Fab and elsewhere with similar attitudes and desires. It's really the great people and honest relationships you have with them that determines this as a lifestyle for us and we love it

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By *eekyTattsCoupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Tyne and Wear

I personally dislike the quotes of ‘I’ve been around long enough to how this works’. Well that might be true but how it worked then may not be how it works now, things change.

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By *entleman JayMan
4 weeks ago

Leeds

For me it’s a hobby. I don’t like the term Lifestyle.

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By *anilla-sinCouple
4 weeks ago

Yeah.. each to their own, of course.. but to me ‘lifestyle’ feels like it defines you to some extent.. which isn’t us. It’s something we occasionally do.. or not! It’s more like a hobby than a vocation 😂

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By *nlyliveonce69Man
4 weeks ago

carlisle

I think there a lot men join thinking easy sex. Same as someone men think like idea 3 some but never tried . Few times been in situation men all up for 3 some mfm but last min cannot perform in front another man or jump across room if both men touch in anyway. I know I enjoy life styre as enjoy watching or been watched or conversations about what been up to etc . If you very into swinging can be no room for jealousy you must enjoy seeing other having fun

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By *tlanshiaWoman
4 weeks ago

Chatham

I always thought the lifestyle meant fetish relationship

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By *inky PerkyCouple
4 weeks ago

Narnia

Not a term we use. It's a bit of fun, not a lifestyle.

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By *enerationfornicationMan
4 weeks ago

In a place not far from...

"Single blokes messaging us often say they've been in "the lifestyle" for years or that they want to try "the lifestyle".

But it seems instead they just want sex - which is fine. But is this really about being in the swinging "lifestyle"?

In fact, is it even a "lifestyle" rather than just, say, a hobby or pastime?

Like there's healthy lifestyles, active lifestyles, vegetarian lifestyles, etc - but they're constant ways of living.

We don't say people who frequently go off to play golf or spot trains are in a "golf lifestyle" or "train spotting lifestyle" (tho we may say they're sad ).

So is there really a "swinging lifestyle"? We've been swinging for years, but don't consider our occasional fun a "lifestyle".

Thoughts please

It's more of a dopamine hit. Of its going well, you feel good, of its not, you feel bad.

Some fella come to it believing ladies will fall at their feet. You can get nice ones and you can get assholes - but that goes both ways.

If it were a "lifestyle" people wouldn't be doing it in secret because it breaks "societal norms" - it causes rumor and speculation.

I see it as more of an interest or an escape to place for a bit each day. Meets are infrequent because of other commitments and even at that, they are a cuppa.

You will see profiles that say, no face pics, no reply - I'm sorry, I work in an area where it has never been so easy to manipulate a picture. I limit what I post because of it.

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By *ctionSandwichCouple
4 weeks ago

Newcastle under Lyme

No, not to us anyway. Maybe to the kind of folk that attend parties frequently, like every weekend. Sex workers might be considered as having a life style, but not folk who partner swap once a month or less.

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By *estinyIsAllCouple
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Not for us, more of an extracurricular activity. A hobby if you will. It certainly isn't a large part of our life, we don't live for it nor think about it 24/7.

Some people do, and power to them! That just isn't for us.

Freyja x

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By *rixi1000Woman
4 weeks ago

Wicklow

Words are just words in the end, whatever one calls this pastime. No matter what you want to call it can we all agree that it's about having lots of fun with like minded people

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