FabSwingers.com forum: Persuading wife

By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

How do I persuade the wife to fuck other guys. I've told her she can do anything with anyone at anytime. I'll even go out so guys can come to ours or drive her to theirs and wait outside. I don't need to watch or anything. She knows how I feel and doesn't mind me saying it but just won't take that next step or won't tell me she has. She spends time with her single best friend who has friends with benefits who knows how much I want it to happen.

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By *arryandhedgehogCouple
20 weeks ago

Essex

You shouldn’t need to persuade anyone to do anything maybe stop pushing your sexual fantasies on her and be happy with that you have

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By *CExeCouple
20 weeks ago

Hong-Kong/Exeter

It's her decision. If she doesn't want to sleep with others, you need to respect it. Badgering her incessantly will only cause a division in your relationship. I assume she knows you're on here?

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By *ellinever70Woman
20 weeks ago

Ayrshire

Be a bit more _elightful and stop pestering her with your selfish desires

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

I’m on as a couple and a single. I know how you feel as the idea of my partner with someone else turns me on however it’s not something she wants ( she actually wants me to meet solo )

We’ve spoke at great length about what she would like to try and are now looking for mmf ( previously all she wanted was ffm )

Pushing someone to try something they don’t want or are uncomfortable doing would ruin any experience you do actually have.

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By *cnugatugMan
20 weeks ago

Chatham

You shouldn't be trying to sway her to doing it it's her choice at best have an open honest discussion with her listen to eachother and if she is interested good but if not the respect it end of tbh

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By *adCherriesCouple
20 weeks ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"How do I persuade the wife to fuck other guys. I've told her she can do anything with anyone at anytime. I'll even go out so guys can come to ours or drive her to theirs and wait outside. I don't need to watch or anything. She knows how I feel and doesn't mind me saying it but just won't take that next step or won't tell me she has. She spends time with her single best friend who has friends with benefits who knows how much I want it to happen. "

Maybe she already has

and just doesn't want to tell you

No point asking on the forums though op you will just get white knighted to death etc 😂

We started out with pillow talk and discussing scenarios while fucking.. Then we moved on to actual meets. Good luck! 🍀

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By *idcot58Man
20 weeks ago

didco

Just watch porn together and c what she thinks

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By *ash0000Man
20 weeks ago

Southwest

Pillow talk to reality is definitely the hardest bit

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
20 weeks ago

East Sussex

You don't.

Stop trying to make her do something she doesn't want to do.

Why in earth does her single best friend knowing that you're desperate for your wife to fuck other men have anything to do with it? Do you imagine she's going to persuade your wife on your behalf?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
20 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Just watch porn together and c what she thinks "

He knows what she thinks, she's told him

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By *nnocentsecret66Woman
20 weeks ago

Birmingham

Try hooking up with her best friend she sounds more compatible.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

You may push her away if you keep asking.

I'd like my wife to do the same again, but I don't mention it often unless she asked me if there is anything I'd like to do.

I'm happy to wait and just fantasize.

You may be better off doing the same.

If it happens it will be much more fun

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

She actually loves the idea and its a fantasy of hers but its the final step. Not pushing anything on her at all.

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

I'm not badgering her and its something we speak about a lot.

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

I'm not pestering her. It's something we speak about a lot and shes open to it. Its just the final step. How funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

"She actually loves the idea and its a fantasy of hers but its the final step. Not pushing anything on her at all. "

Still, you don't persuade her. Not every fantasy has to become a reality and maybe thats all shes comfortable with it being. If she wants to take it further, thats up to her.

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

I'm not pushing her! She'd never do anything she didn't want to do.

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

We've had the conversation for years. Its something she'd love to do. Just the final step. No one is pushing her.

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

I hope she has. You are right about the flack.

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

We've spoken about it for years. It may happen one day.

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

Lol, yes, she'd never betray her friend.

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

The best friend is actually working on it, yes. Its something we've spoken about for years. She'd never do anything she didn't want and I wouldn't expect her to.

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By *outhstaffscoupleCouple
20 weeks ago

cannock

"We've spoken about it for years. It may happen one day. "

You're best to use the reply and quote to answer people, that way your replies will be with the relevant question

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

Yes, the final step.

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By *outhstaffscoupleCouple
20 weeks ago

cannock

We started off by just going to clubs and watching others, we played but only on our own in locked rooms. The atmosphere was still sexy as hell. Things naturally moved on from there but honestly the club visits really helped

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
20 weeks ago

Tamworth

You don’t, quite simply. Either someone wants to try it or they don’t.

Your wife doesn’t exist to play out your fantasies, you’re much better finding something you share.

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By *elboy1957Man
20 weeks ago

Weston-super-Mare

Little steps is the answer then you're know her limits

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By *_the_impalerMan
20 weeks ago

canterbury

You can’t convince her and if she feels pressured that can go horribly wrong. She needs to choose to play herself on her terms. There are ways to give her a good selection of options that meet your desires and build up her up. Feel free to message me as I have been in a similar situation with a two couples who turned into long term play mates of mine

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By *estinysswingersCouple
20 weeks ago

Worsley

I think Paul McKenna has a book on it.

Failing that you could just actually respect that’s it’s not for her.

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

Lol, the book might work

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

Thanks

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

Thanks

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

She wants to its the final step

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

Thanks

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
20 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Lol, the book might work"

Tap reply+quote under the post you're answering we know who you're talking to then

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
20 weeks ago

East Sussex

"She wants to its the final step"

If she wants to why do you need to persuade her.

What's stopping her, how can you help with that?

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By *rasshopper201Man
20 weeks ago

kendal

Mine did it when young but now no sex we’re British attitude

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By *issmorganWoman
20 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

All I see in your post is me me me.

She knows how much you want it, what about what she wants op?!.

I'll give the same advice I do on all the other posts from "single" men trying to persuade their wives.

You shouldn't be trying to convince her, sit and talk and ask her outright if she's interested in it.

If she says no, you need to leave it at that.

Swinging isn't for everyone op and nobody should do it, to please anyone else.

I'm amazed how many men can't have an open honest conversation, with the ones who are supposed to be most important to them.

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By *ormagenericlblokeMan
20 weeks ago

Hertfordshire

Simple answer to this one

Don't

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By *issmorganWoman
20 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Reading a bit more, if you say you've asked her and she's not having it, she isn't into it op.

I don't know why that's so hard to grasp.

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By *uilder1979Man
20 weeks ago

birmingham

I’ve asked my wife loads of times if she wanted to sleep

With another man whilst I watch, but she always declines. It’s frustrating but that the way it is

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By *efinitely MaybeCouple
20 weeks ago

Wakefield

If she understands she’s got your permission to be naughty just leave it at that and be a supportive husband.

If she meets the right person in the right place at the right time believe me, anything can happen.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
20 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I’ve asked my wife loads of times if she wanted to sleep

With another man whilst I watch, but she always declines. It’s frustrating but that the way it is "

imagine how frustrating it is for her to be asked the same thing over and over and having her answer ignored

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By *renzMan
20 weeks ago

Between Chichester and Havant

She may know she has your permission but she needs to do it for herself, not you!

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By *uffolk1234Man
20 weeks ago

suffolk

Very interesting maybe you should go to a club in a safe environment

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By *ellinever70Woman
20 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"Very interesting maybe you should go to a club in a safe environment "

Or just maybe, he should let it go

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By *abulincsCouple
20 weeks ago

near a bridge

You can’t persuade her at all if mentioned and she’s not up for it end of really

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By *aciallovrMan
20 weeks ago

Manchester

I think it will happen when your wife decides she is ready, or she will decide that she is happy with the role play and fantasy. Good Luck in your adventures...

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By *rectus HumongusMan
20 weeks ago

morecambe for the day

Does she know you are member of fab? Because you come across pushy and fucking someone just to keep other person happy is wrong on many fronts, man up show her your profile I am sure she will be happy(NOT).

Many years ago as planned this couple came to my house the lady was beautiful yet seemed unhappy he was saying to me you can do what you want to get.

I looked at her and asked if she was doing this to please him she said yes I said stay finish brew and leave I gave my views to him about being disgusting.

I helped him leave the house in let her hang on and ring a taxi she was in a distressed state the post here brought back that memory

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By *adCherriesCouple
20 weeks ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"Does she know you are member of fab? Because you come across pushy and fucking someone just to keep other person happy is wrong on many fronts, man up show her your profile I am sure she will be happy(NOT).

Many years ago as planned this couple came to my house the lady was beautiful yet seemed unhappy he was saying to me you can do what you want to get.

I looked at her and asked if she was doing this to please him she said yes I said stay finish brew and leave I gave my views to him about being disgusting.

I helped him leave the house in let her hang on and ring a taxi she was in a distressed state the post here brought back that memory"

Not all heros wear capes🦸‍♂️

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By *uenevereWoman
20 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

As others have said, you don't.

Does she know you have a single profile on here and are actively looking to meet?

Successful swinging is about a strong healthy, open relationship and good communication. Being on here without her knowledge, as is probably the case, indicates you don't have this kind of relationship.

The fact that you're asking others how to make your wife do what you want, doesn't look good either. Loving couples understand and accept that they don't always want the same thing.

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

Thanks for the lecture lol

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

Lol, how funny

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

Many years ago as planned this couple came to my house the lady was beautiful yet seemed unhappy he was saying to me you can do what you want to get.

I looked at her and asked if she was doing this to please him she said yes I said stay finish brew and leave I gave my views to him about being disgusting.

I helped him leave the house in let her hang on and ring a taxi she was in a distressed state the post here brought back that memory"

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

So funny

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By *elightful OP Man
20 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

Well, how funny. I don't really need the lectures but they made me laugh a lot.

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By *una_RaineCouple
20 weeks ago

worcester

Me personally, reading that; sounded like you are testing her loyalty idk

Maybe she just doesn’t want to, she’s happy just being with you

I’d love my partner to be that enthusiast and encouraging with me but it’s not a kink for him

Each to their own

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By *rownylove69Man
20 weeks ago

wokingham

My honest take, like Men, I am sure women too have their desires but society taboos and inhibitions and body consciousness is what makes them undecided. I am in the same dilemma, we keep talking about it during our love making sessions and from the earlier NO, STOP it she has reached a stage where she says once she loses some flab she would be ready to visit a swinger club and we are close to it now. Human desires vary between Men and Women but the desire to experience everything life has to offer is universal, some comforting talks telling her and understanding she is reciprocating would help

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By *cnugatugMan
20 weeks ago

Chatham

I honestly think your making a huge mistake by trying to persuade her into doing anything she may not want to do

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By *a1970Man
20 weeks ago

East cork

"You shouldn’t need to persuade anyone to do anything maybe stop pushing your sexual fantasies on her and be happy with that you have "
best advice I've seen anywhere

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By *un couple 2Couple
20 weeks ago

Tynemouth.

Im sure if a woman wants or needs another man/men for sex, she will let you know about it.

My wife has always been honest and up front about wanting other men.

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By *rectus HumongusMan
20 weeks ago

morecambe for the day

You may not like lectures but are the one trying to get wife under duress to fuck others to ease your guilt how about you tell her that your cheating behind the woman you supposedly love.

Grow a pair and be honest you come across selfish and certainly a spanner short of a full toolbox

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By *ertiebassett61Man
20 weeks ago

Ilkeston

I've asked my wife afew years ago but she was not interested then although she's met a guy at our home on the odd occasion but he pays her for photos

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By *CExeCouple
20 weeks ago

Hong-Kong/Exeter

Think this thread has run it's course. Pretty obvious the OP only wanted sympathetic voices rather than genuine advice regarding his behaviour.

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By *haringisCaring1208Couple
20 weeks ago

Lurgan

You’ve asked the wrong question, reading all your replies if true it should be “how do I help my wife feel more comfortable to possibly try a fantasy we both have”

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By *adCherriesCouple
20 weeks ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"You’ve asked the wrong question, reading all your replies if true it should be “how do I help my wife feel more comfortable to possibly try a fantasy we both have” "

Definitely a better way of putting it, especially for those white knights that assume women are being exploited or he's glorified cheating.

Mrs xx

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
20 weeks ago

South East

You shouldn’t be persuading your wife to do anything really, if she doesn’t want to, then listen to her.

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By *ee And MikeCouple
19 weeks ago

Cannock

As a cuck I didn’t need to persuade my hotwife to fuck anyone else, it was her decision.

If she wants to fuck someone else then she’ll do it, you can drop subtle hints tyat you are ok with it and things like that, but ultimately it’s her decision and you should not be forcing anyone to do anything they don’t want to.

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By *ickedwillyCouple
19 weeks ago

Bangor

That makes us lucky cucks.

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By *esmdMan
19 weeks ago

Woodhall Spa

I think a lot about my Mrs taking cock too

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By *eus n EuropaCouple
19 weeks ago

Norwich

The fact the OP has been advised many times in the post to reply+quote so we know who he's responding too each time tells us everything

He doesn't listen to a word anyone says probably including his wife

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By *arleycplWoman
19 weeks ago

Frodsham

Perhaps you should have respect for your wife.

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By *elaxed CoupleCouple
19 weeks ago

Cheshire

If one of us wants something specific to happen, we just keep talking about it occasionally.

If it's meant to be, it'll happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"Well, how funny. I don't really need the lectures but they made me laugh a lot. "

I have no idea what you expected really, you were never going to get a sympathetic ear, most people are just feeling sorry for your partner now,

Surely you must see that to on reflection

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By *ickdom6Couple
19 weeks ago

Stockport

"You shouldn’t need to persuade anyone to do anything maybe stop pushing your sexual fantasies on her and be happy with that you have "

This! In my experience, you have mentioned it, she’s aware. Leave it alone. If that seed is to grow then she will let it happen organically. I’m sure you will (hope) to have had a conversation about it, in which you both stated how you feel.

I think what’s not helping in this message is it’s all, Me, Me, Me. When in fact the questions/info you should be disclosing is what was her “thoughts, feelings, ideas” about it. Even more you should be understanding to those needs and even more so then acting upon them.

Your wife shouldn’t be doing anything for your sexual fantasies, if she does, she will resent you in the long run and seriously damage your relationship. Be supportive and understanding, listen and react appropriately. Then if she decides to want to try it will be of her own doing, which is way hotter anyway! Hope this helps

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By *haft100Man
19 weeks ago

walsall

Invite me round for a drink

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By *oleraine-coupleCouple
19 weeks ago

Coleraine

Stop pushing here.

She knows your feeling and fantasies

She will tell you now if she ever wants to

Take it she doesn’t want to and focus on your joint sex life and what she does want from you

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By *andb69Couple
19 weeks ago

leeds

Persuasion, along with coercion, has no part in swinging. Mutual respect and consent is essential.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
19 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Invite me round for a drink "

Then what?

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By *ed and WolfieCouple
19 weeks ago

Gravesend

"The fact the OP has been advised many times in the post to reply+quote so we know who he's responding too each time tells us everything

He doesn't listen to a word anyone says probably including his wife"

Haha. Probably spot on.

It's quite simple.

You don't persuade anyone.

You discuss, perhaps encourage, but really listen and accept an outcome.

I wonder if its really a case of ' if she shags someone that's a greenlight for me shagging someone else as well'

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By *rectus HumongusMan
19 weeks ago

morecambe for the day

Anyone else thinking the O P is not even in a relationship except with his hand😁

I reckon his favourite song is Desperados 😆

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By *haft100Man
19 weeks ago

walsall

"Invite me round for a drink

Then what?"

I’ll bring a bottle and help out making long lasting memorable memory’s x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
19 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Invite me round for a drink

Then what?

I’ll bring a bottle and help out making long lasting memorable memory’s x"

Watching holiday videos or something?

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By *urreyGuy19792Man
19 weeks ago

Egham

"Invite me round for a drink

Then what?

I’ll bring a bottle and help out making long lasting memorable memory’s x

Watching holiday videos or something?"

Videos? More like a slide show... that gets the juices going, right?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
19 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Invite me round for a drink

Then what?

I’ll bring a bottle and help out making long lasting memorable memory’s x

Watching holiday videos or something?

Videos? More like a slide show... that gets the juices going, right?

Do people still do slide shows?

I just wondered what someone would plan for an evening with a couple where the woman has said she doesn't want to have sex with other men. Holiday videos was my first thought but I suppose monopoly is an option 😇

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By *hilling2Couple
19 weeks ago

Bridgnorth

To be fair if she wants to engage she will, if she doesn't that's it . It should all be consensual and not achieved via coercion.

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By *am450Man
19 weeks ago

Sidcup/Bexley

If she engaged in something to please you but soon regretted it could rapidly unravel out of control and be difficult to manage. Be happy you wife does have with you if your not happy though ask a guy who has been in a sexless marriage for 24 years how he feels. I 'll be here when you need me. Brought it up again this evening the look on her face suggested it's me who is the problem.

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By *tchrPukMan
19 weeks ago

Coventry

I've been chatting to a guy (not on this site) who was looking for someone to watch him and his wife and maybe join in if invited.

Initially I had the impression they were jointly looking for someone, but that she was a bit nervous. I offered to meet them both socially first so she could decide if she was comfortable, but he declined and said they'd rather just go straight to a play meet.

It became clear that he was the one looking and was 'working' on her (in his words). I stopped engaging at that point. Maybe it would have turned out ok but I think any hint of coercion is a big red flag.

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By *lack Beauty 1Man
19 weeks ago

Coalvile

I didn't read all the replies but most seem to be saying stop badgering her. Firstly I don't think you are and if you are STOP

Unfortunately it's your thing and not hers, I don't think watching porn will help remember she prob already thinks this is disgusting and can't get her head round it.

Maybe try a swingers club for more as a social and see if thers anything she likes wether it be watching others or looking at normal everyday women just enjoying themselves and not being judged. Try and park your idea for now and see what she loves or likes and try n get turned on by that..

What you don't want to end up doing is looking for this excitement else wer... hope that helps good luck !!!

Oh n talk seriously not pressure talk bout her fantasies and turn ons.

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By *rasshopper201Man
19 weeks ago

kendal

"If she engaged in something to please you but soon regretted it could rapidly unravel out of control and be difficult to manage. Be happy you wife does have with you if your not happy though ask a guy who has been in a sexless marriage for 24 years how he feels. I 'll be here when you need me. Brought it up again this evening the look on her face suggested it's me who is the problem.

"
I’m in the same kind of relationship with my wife 17 th ears now hardly any sex if I mention it she blames me on erectile difficulties being Dieabetic but I can manage to get hard and penetrate yes divorce is an option but a very expensive one at that weve been married for 43 years and she was a very sexy and horny women why they get turned off by age is beyond me

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By *elightful OP Man
19 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

I’m in the same kind of relationship with my wife 17 th ears now hardly any sex if I mention it she blames me on erectile difficulties being Dieabetic but I can manage to get hard and penetrate yes divorce is an option but a very expensive one at that weve been married for 43 years and she was a very sexy and horny women why they get turned off by age is beyond me "

I feel it mate

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By *elightful OP Man
19 weeks ago

Ipswich /Colchester

"Anyone else thinking the O P is not even in a relationship except with his hand😁

I reckon his favourite song is Desperados 😆"

How funny.

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By *am450Man
19 weeks ago

Sidcup/Bexley

Mine was really keen before we married after zero I think it's known as "bait and switch" make any mention of it and I'm clearly the idiot in the room.

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By *ustforfun1759Couple
19 weeks ago

IRVINE

Don't keep at your wife about your fantasy.she knows what it is give it time and maybe one day she will surprise you mrs

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By *oan of DArcCouple
19 weeks ago

Glasgow

"Well, how funny. I don't really need the lectures but they made me laugh a lot. "

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You seem to find it hard accepting what people say x

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By *oan of DArcCouple
19 weeks ago

Glasgow

"She actually loves the idea and its a fantasy of hers but its the final step. Not pushing anything on her at all. "

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I fantasise about eating a bath full of cream cakes but Im never going to do it!

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By *oan of DArcCouple
19 weeks ago

Glasgow

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Maybe that isn't what's turning her off

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By *iverstMan
19 weeks ago

Rossendale

Be careful. Pushing her to do something may actually push her away. Emotions and feelings are sometimes on a very delicate ballance. Tip it too far and she may feel she isn't enough for you anymore or that you don't respect her. Don't make her lose confidence in you or herself. Don't let this damage your relationship.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
19 weeks ago

Coventry

It's not a matter of persuasion. You can give her the freedom, support and let her know it's ok if she wishes but you can't impose your kink on her. Giving her the freedom and permission is all you can ethically do. What she wants to do (or not do) is her provocative. I would also argue that trying to pressure her is a sure way to kill any lady boner for you or any other men.

When you love someone you give them freedom and you love and accept them for who they are. If she don't want to sleep with other men you need to accept that or leave the poor woman so she can be with someone who does love and accept her for who she is.

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