FabSwingers.com forum: dont seem to be any females interested in older men in the South West

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i heard alot about this site.......but seem to have a problem getting any females to meet me....{an older man 55 }. i can accomadate or travel.....and am free whenever the moment pleases.....anyone got any idea`s of what i`m doing wrong....just drop me a line and let me know.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yu been here a week m8, so maybe you need to change your expectations slightly.

patience and taking time to build rapport with folks in your area.

maybe make your profile text more alluring and detail why you are different to the other guys on here..

what is your USP..

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ps..

updating your profile with

"very disillusioned with this site......things cant get any worst.......!!!".

isn't going to help after 1 week..

as before

good luck , I hope it works out for you.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"very disillusioned with this site......things cant get any worst.......!!!".

If you don't like it, you can always join another site.

The whinging, the crap profile and the chronic photographs are not going to do you any favours.

You've been here a week, some of the nicest, unwhinging men, wait a year to get a meet.

This isn't "I'm bored I'll shag anything .com"

Jezus...... and single blokes wonder why they get a bad name!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh cut the guy some slack its been emm 2 days since we had a thread moanin!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You been on here a whole week and not had a meet yet??!!!!

"very disillusioned with this site......things cant get any worst.......!!!".

Get over yourself,this may be a swinging site but does not mean women are goung to fall over themselves to sleep with you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ooh that was a bit harsh but in sum ways true...a week is nothing. staying up beat and with a positive attitude will get you a lot further than coming straight on the forum after just 7 days moaning...this site is an absolutley fantastic site....dont knock it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i meant the post before was a bit harsh lol ....slow typer xx

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I agree that expecting a meet for a single man when there are hundreds of single men in your area possibly is a tad presumptious. It also depends what age ladies your looking for maybe. If your 55 then are you looking for your age ladies or for much younger? If your looking for a similar age then fair enough but if much younger then what have you got to offer that is so good you expect to get a meet after one week!

Sorry but grumbling isnt a good way to get meets. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

change your profile mate , if you think women are just going to give out their mobile numbers so you can text them your very much mistaken , you will be waiting a very long time. remember you are a stranger so why would any woman give out personal details without knowing something about you first, safety for everyone lad

there are hundreds on here , so you would need to say something in your profile/ messages that stand out from the rest

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are loads of advice threads in the forums for single guys and newbies to the site to improve thier chances but patience is a virtue, it can take up to a year to get your first meet as a single guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you also have to understand david is the ratio of single fems to males in the south west, its a minority to the males, so we have the pic of the bunch with so much to chose from.

sell yourself, get in chat, stop moaning!!!!

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By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago

Charlestown, Cornwall

"There are loads of advice threads in the forums for single guys and newbies to the site to improve thier chances but patience is a virtue, it can take up to a year to get your first meet as a single guy"

Oh yes, patience is a virtue!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"change your profile mate , if you think women are just going to give out their mobile numbers so you can text them your very much mistaken , you will be waiting a very long time. remember you are a stranger so why would any woman give out personal details without knowing something about you first, safety for everyone lad

there are hundreds on here , so you would need to say something in your profile/ messages that stand out from the rest

good luck"

Agree smacks of desperation asking for mobile numbers - no sane woman is going to do that and I think you assume the women on this site are desperately seeking.

As others have said patience: it really is the key - good luck.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"i heard alot about this site.......but seem to have a problem getting any females to meet me....{an older man 55 }. i can accomadate or travel.....and am free whenever the moment pleases.....anyone got any idea`s of what i`m doing wrong....just drop me a line and let me know......."

1 whole week... wow....

1 whole week.... have to now ask what where you expecting....

just because it is a swinging site, it doesn't mean people will swing with just anyone! doesn't mean people will drop there knickers at a drop of a hat...

people always find a reason for not having success... like others have said one week shows a distinct lack of patience for a start.. but lets glide over that and chose the reason you think it is.... age....

said this before but i'll say it again...

not everyone fancies playing with people old enough to be there mum or dad...

not everyone fancies playing with people young enough to be there son or daughter...

you're 55 and have an age range of 30 to 70 on your profile... so isn't it kinda rich for you to have a preference but for others not to......

you get out what you put in... took me 6-7 months to get my first meet, but that was me getting myself known, getting to know people, chatting in the forums, going in the chatrooms, going to socials....

I am really not sure of what advice to give you other than it normally takes time.... if you want something quicker may I suggest going to a club or looking in your local paper in the adverts....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you have had alot of very good advice on here already so I don't have much to add, Single woman on here get alot of people wanting to meet, if we were to meet everyone that asked we'd not be able to walk for a very long time, not that we'd have time to do anything else anyway. Make your messages interesting, its got to stand out from the start. Hi, How are you. Or Fancy a shag will probably not work with most of the woman on here or copying and pasting the same thing to everywoman and then sending exact same message again and again, that wont work either. It might not be a dating site as such but people still want to meet someone to have fun with that stands out and interesting, with a brain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well said!! xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do what i did ,,, get ya mum ( or daughter ) to join ,, get them to verify ya ,,, and ya on ya way ,,, nimps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/01/10 17:35:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

think some of the original reactions to the OP were way over the top and unnecessary! There are a lot of people who come on this site, browse around the profiles, read the verifications and could be forgiven for thinking meets were easy to get. I fell into this trap and posted the same sort of thing as the OP on here after about three weeks, got a lot of crap from existing members as well, left and didn't come back for a year, thinking that was the mentality of the site as a whole!!

All the regulars on here seems to forget that there is a high through-flow of new members who don't know the ropes and the etiquette and if the existing members are tired of reading these threads, there is a simple answer DON'T READ THEM!! You can see the title of the thread so why come on just to berate the OP!

Basically telling the OP to get a life, stop whinging and that he has crap photography (especially coming from a woman who doesn't have a face pic on her page and close up of her pussy!) is a totally counter productive and down-right fucking nasty!!

A lot of people already think this site is full of close knit groups who get off on being bitchy about others (don't know where they get that idea!) and might other-wise put people off who, after getting to know the ropes, would turn out to be great members.

Jeez, no wonder single guys are put off!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the expectency to find a lazy quick lay is not what swinging is about and then the profile was a bit lackin and the disillusional comment did no favours!

comin in moanin about it does no favours either!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i thought my post was constructive ,,,,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" think some of the original reactions to the OP were way over the top and unnecessary! There are a lot of people who come on this site, browse around the profiles, read the verifications and could be forgiven for thinking meets were easy to get. I fell into this trap and posted the same sort of thing as the OP on here after about three weeks, got a lot of crap from existing members as well, left and didn't come back for a year, thinking that was the mentality of the site as a whole!!

Jeez, no wonder single guys are put off!!"

Have to agree poster has a point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i thought my post was constructive ,,,,,,

t was totally constructive and very worthwhile.

I maybe came over a little bit strong with what I said but it annoys me that nearly 2 years ago I was taken aback by the grief I got for asking why I wasn't getting any meets after three weeks, not really having grasped how the site and swinging worked properly and it annoyed me that 2 years on, the same crap is being dished out! By different people, admittedly, but think they have a right to harrass and condem others for asking a question!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it would be worse if no one answered!! yes the feedback can be harsh but 9 times out of 10 if the person stays around takes note of some of the feedback things do work out!!

the major drawback for some single guys and i do mean some, is they join they expect to have a que of ladys within hrs wantin to meet and cant understand when it doesnt happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well as the first to post on here.

I could have thought ' oh here we go again ' and ignored..

but I remember well when I was new and the words of advice given to me and it is nice to give something back..

however,

even as a newbie they surely dont find the forums for the first time, immediately open a post asking for help.

they surely must read some of the other posts especially in the support and introductions where there is newbie asking for help, asking for help, asking for help, asking for help..and the same advice is given by the same people over and over and over again..

however I replied nicely and offered him advice..

I also checked later if he had been back on line... and noticed a 'NEW' update slagging off the site.

what happened next is nothing to do with me..

as for this putting off other single guys........ hardly m8.

so far the OP hasnt come back to add anything... but he has thanked people for their feedback on his profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally agree mate, as I say, I totally fell into that trap a couple of years ago and as we all know, it really doesn't work that way. I was very lucky and when I joined the second time, I got a first meet and a verification relatively quickly and went from there but I realise I was probably very very lucky.

My point was more that, alright the OP sounded a bit whiney but the grief he got was totally out of proportion, especially considering who was dishing it out!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"i thought my post was constructive ,,,,,,

t was totally constructive and very worthwhile.

Ok then.....

You tell us, as a single male, what it is that you EXPECT to have happened after 1 week on a swinging site?

And we will listen........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem here it that some people on this site rarely use the forums others like me are forum whores we spend many hours a day in here and sometimes it gets a little boring seeing the same posts over and over again, however as we are a helpful bunch we try to lend a hand whenever we can. After reading the o.p's post I checked out his profile this was not good bad pics very little effort with the content and a winge in the header, all in not a good profile. There are many threads with good advise here thats been haven before the o.p. Could have taken time to go through them but chose the look at me option. Kind of like shooting yourself in the foot when your moaning in your header lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i thought my post was constructive ,,,,,,

t was totally constructive and very worthwhile.

Ok then.....

You tell us, as a single male, what it is that you EXPECT to have happened after 1 week on a swinging site?

And we will listen........"

Lol! I can just see you standing with you hands on your hips saying that....

Too answer your question, who the hell knows!! As I said in my first post, someone who is reading profiles for the first time, seeing verifications and what people have written about others can be forgiven for thinking getting meets is easy.

If you read my post again through the red mist which has clearly come down, you'll see that I don't disagree with anyone that guys expect too much, too quickly.

I fell into the trap of expecting too much when I joined the first time and that guys do come on here with expectations of getting laid straight away. The basis of my initial post was that I objected to, as you'll read, the treatment the original OP got from certain members of this site.....There was some perfectly good, constructive points and help which is what new people, men, women, couples or whoever needs...and there was some down-right nasty patronising nonsense as well!

I know plenty of single women on this site and they have all said that with about three words on their profile when they joined and no picture, were inundated with messages so its not a position that I imagine most women have found themselves in. By that I mean getting responses from the kind of people they joined the site to meet. I am of course, speaking in general terms. Guys on the other hand, come into FAB with the same high expectations of having fun that women do and get disappointed, often with a lack of response from their well written messages and they don't know why. They haven't got it yet that women, generally, get a tons of messages more than most guys. The OP was hasn't given it time and learned the ropes and how the 'game' works as he should and I agree that he didn't really come across very well but to say 'The whinging, the crap profile and the chronic photographs' are the reason, is not exactly constructive to say the least!! Thats what I was objecting to!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but it was the truth?? sorry but the pc brigade dont actually have any territory here and people do say what they see. the OP has added a wee bit more so he obviously took some advice! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok maybe the o.p. Was treated harshly but that was in response to people looking at his profile to help him only to be greeted with a message slaging the site we all know and love off. Surely people are bound to bite at that!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

" As I said in my first post, someone who is reading profiles for the first time, seeing verifications and what people have written about others can be forgiven for thinking getting meets is easy.

And those of us that get shirty with the constant whinging whineing from single men are sick of just that..... single males thinking its easy getting meets.

We are swingers, we are NOT tarts, whores, slappers or sluts.

The amount of blokes that wander through swinging sites thinking that they only have to say hello and we will drop our knickers from them gets ridiculous.

So..... forgive us if we get shirty, stroppy or down right rude sometimes... but there are those of us that are sick to the back teeth of blokes thinking that just because we are swingers, we will shag anything and anyone and they can't understand why they aren't good enough for us 'easy birds'

You can come down from your high horse and try and see it from our point of view....... because I'm dam sure most single blokes don't give a flying fuck if we get arsey about being seen as an 'easy lay'

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

I got a meet within one week of joining, bearing in mind I had no pic or verifications, it was through a wink followed by 1 message and over the phone to ask for the postcode.

it just shows that there is no pattern or time interval within which to meet.

Have fun, enjoy the company of like-minded people,if a meet happens, it happens, if it does not, it is not the end of the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The OP's profile still contains a request for brave ladies to leave their mobile numbers so that he could text them back.

Reality has not hit home yet I see!

Good luck to the OP. Keep reading profiles and sending messages, as I doubt if you would be flooded with messages from ladies with their mobile numbers!

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"I got a meet within one week of joining, bearing in mind I had no pic or verifications, it was through a wink followed by 1 message and over the phone to ask for the postcode.

it just shows that there is no pattern or time interval within which to meet.

Have fun, enjoy the company of like-minded people,if a meet happens, it happens, if it does not, it is not the end of the world.

To get a meet with no pic and verfication tells alot about the person mailing you to be honest. If they are going to meet someone with no pic, verfication and go on just what they have written on their profile is very dangerous. Yes I know you may be a lovely guy. But most ladies and couples alike dont meet a single man until they have seen a face pic and chatted on the phone and possibly seen them on cam too. If you had a meet with none of that then well done you but as an experienced single fem I never meet without lots of checking and chatting before agreeing to a meet. Well done you tho is your case was different but I prefer to stay safe x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a meet within one week of joining, bearing in mind I had no pic or verifications, it was through a wink followed by 1 message and over the phone to ask for the postcode.

it just shows that there is no pattern or time interval within which to meet.

Have fun, enjoy the company of like-minded people,if a meet happens, it happens, if it does not, it is not the end of the world.

I have to say I agree with you there - hard to believe in this day and age a single female would meet someome under those circumstances.

That said, this is the only site I've been on with verifications and to be honest they don't really mean that much to me - I add them because I know the users of this site likes them. I meet people of other sites that don't have verification, but we talk on the phone, we exchange photos and the first meet is always in a public place for a drink/coffee/dinner depending on the time of day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would never agree to meet singlely or as a couple without seeing face pics or seen the person/persons on cam so you single girls are not on your own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a meet within one week of joining, bearing in mind I had no pic or verifications, it was through a wink followed by 1 message and over the phone to ask for the postcode.

it just shows that there is no pattern or time interval within which to meet.

Have fun, enjoy the company of like-minded people,if a meet happens, it happens, if it does not, it is not the end of the world.

Been sitting here racking my brains as to why you got a meet so quickly...and the O.P is still struggling to get one....swinging is a funny old game..lmao..

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

"I got a meet within one week of joining, bearing in mind I had no pic or verifications, it was through a wink followed by 1 message and over the phone to ask for the postcode.

it just shows that there is no pattern or time interval within which to meet.

Have fun, enjoy the company of like-minded people,if a meet happens, it happens, if it does not, it is not the end of the world.

Been sitting here racking my brains as to why you got a meet so quickly...and the O.P is still struggling to get one....swinging is a funny old game..lmao..

That was the moral of my post, there is no written law on when one can get their 1st meet. It could be within one day, it could never happen.

And I stick with what I wrote, I am not into endless emails and chat...it helps being frank.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a meet within one week of joining, bearing in mind I had no pic or verifications, it was through a wink followed by 1 message and over the phone to ask for the postcode.

it just shows that there is no pattern or time interval within which to meet.

Have fun, enjoy the company of like-minded people,if a meet happens, it happens, if it does not, it is not the end of the world.

Been sitting here racking my brains as to why you got a meet so quickly...and the O.P is still struggling to get one....swinging is a funny old game..lmao..

That was the moral of my post, there is no written law on when one can get their 1st meet. It could be within one day, it could never happen.

And I stick with what I wrote, I am not into endless emails and chat...it helps being frank.

Hehe...guess it kinda helped being ..tall..gorgeous..nice age..and being called _entadread..

...just a wild stab in the dark..

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I think you look great and I lurrrve older men

My idea would be why not host a few events at your place?

You can accomodate

So invite a few people around and they will see that you are genuine

Eve x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a meet within one week of joining, bearing in mind I had no pic or verifications, it was through a wink followed by 1 message and over the phone to ask for the postcode.

it just shows that there is no pattern or time interval within which to meet.

Have fun, enjoy the company of like-minded people,if a meet happens, it happens, if it does not, it is not the end of the world.

Been sitting here racking my brains as to why you got a meet so quickly...and the O.P is still struggling to get one....swinging is a funny old game..lmao..

That was the moral of my post, there is no written law on when one can get their 1st meet. It could be within one day, it could never happen.

And I stick with what I wrote, I am not into endless emails and chat...it helps being frank.

Hehe...guess it kinda helped being ..tall..gorgeous..nice age..and being called _entadread..

...just a wild stab in the dark..

LOL - yep was thinking the same thing

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

"I got a meet within one week of joining, bearing in mind I had no pic or verifications, it was through a wink followed by 1 message and over the phone to ask for the postcode.

it just shows that there is no pattern or time interval within which to meet.

Have fun, enjoy the company of like-minded people,if a meet happens, it happens, if it does not, it is not the end of the world.

Been sitting here racking my brains as to why you got a meet so quickly...and the O.P is still struggling to get one....swinging is a funny old game..lmao..

That was the moral of my post, there is no written law on when one can get their 1st meet. It could be within one day, it could never happen.

And I stick with what I wrote, I am not into endless emails and chat...it helps being frank.

Hehe...guess it kinda helped being ..tall..gorgeous..nice age..and being called _entadread..

...just a wild stab in the dark..

LOL - yep was thinking the same thing

It is down to having a relaxed attitude to life, if a meet happens it happens, if it does not, there are other places you can try other than this site.

As for being tall, and gorgeous,people can have different tastes...but thanks, you two are sweet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a meet within one week of joining, bearing in mind I had no pic or verifications, it was through a wink followed by 1 message and over the phone to ask for the postcode.

it just shows that there is no pattern or time interval within which to meet.

Have fun, enjoy the company of like-minded people,if a meet happens, it happens, if it does not, it is not the end of the world.

Been sitting here racking my brains as to why you got a meet so quickly...and the O.P is still struggling to get one....swinging is a funny old game..lmao..

That was the moral of my post, there is no written law on when one can get their 1st meet. It could be within one day, it could never happen.

And I stick with what I wrote, I am not into endless emails and chat...it helps being frank.

Hehe...guess it kinda helped being ..tall..gorgeous..nice age..and being called _entadread..

...just a wild stab in the dark..

LOL - yep was thinking the same thing

It is down to having a relaxed attitude to life, if a meet happens it happens, if it does not, there are other places you can try other than this site.

As for being tall, and gorgeous,people can have different tastes...but thanks, you two are sweet.

Mwah..your welcome..xxx

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