FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

How to introduce the idea to the Mrs

Jump to newest
 

By *te0151 OP   Man
11 weeks ago

Liverpool

So posted few days back looking for advice on getting the Mrs interested. Just thought I'd update following last nights discussion... Big thanks to everyone for their advice who replied and messaged me directly

It went like this..Nothing on TV as per usual, knew C4 would have some sort of swingers program. Was actually looking for open house as Jess and Mike are hot. Long story comes across young swingers first and the blurb pulled me in, bit of a mistake not good watch. So I made a comment and said let's see what goes on with this... Worst program ever sat there in masks throughout, intimidating rather than sexy.

Starts talking about could you would you etc... and my head could have fell off. She said X her mate and her fella as into swinging and use a site called fan something! My heart went nuts. To the point I was shaking, she picked up on it about 5 mins later and asked why I was shaking! Need to be extra careful now as I am here without permission!

Discussion went ok, talked about a fantasy of mine I sometimes use to wank over a MMF/MMFF with hermshe didn't engage loads but said she's not sharing me, half said well if you want me sha.. then and didn't finish the sentence. Felt the convo didn't have any legs and she wasn't opening up. At this point I was steaming especially knowing her mates at it. Finished off with a naughty shag and give her something to think about for a bit!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ogandher1962Couple
11 weeks ago

Reading

[Removed by poster at 27/04/25 19:46:06]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eavenscentitCouple
11 weeks ago

barnstaple

Your post makes me as a woman uncomfortable.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inchestersBitchWoman
11 weeks ago

land of overweight munters


"Your post makes me as a woman uncomfortable."

I 2nd that

what I can understand is very little so it just reads as you didn't ask the question, she said she doesn't want to and you got sex

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inchestersBitchWoman
11 weeks ago

land of overweight munters


"Your post makes me as a woman uncomfortable.

I 2nd that

what I can understand is very little so it just reads as you didn't ask the question, she said she doesn't want to and you got sex "

Oh and what's steaming?

Angry or d*unk?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aoirse NaughtyWoman
11 weeks ago

Cork

For me I think your walking into trouble, yea bring it up to and she finds out your already on here, for me if it was brought up to me that way I would assume he had already been with people behind my back

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

Also doesn't mention that he's married. Which isn't ok for those who don't want to see those who are attached.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *te0151 OP   Man
11 weeks ago

Liverpool

Thanks for the feedback. I'm sorry it's made a couple of you uncomfortable, not intended. I haven't been able to articulate how it went but I feel it was positive as we discussed things after sex such as she feels that she's not good enough for me hence why I want someone else which is the complete opposite. Any ways seed planted and lets see if she germinates it!

I'm walking away from it with the vision of her face when I give it like Never before!

Have a good one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oney2Couple
11 weeks ago

Chester


"Thanks for the feedback. I'm sorry it's made a couple of you uncomfortable, not intended. I haven't been able to articulate how it went but I feel it was positive as we discussed things after sex such as she feels that she's not good enough for me hence why I want someone else which is the complete opposite. Any ways seed planted and lets see if she germinates it!

I'm walking away from it with the vision of her face when I give it like Never before!

Have a good one "

Your getting into it all for the wrong reasons!

As a couple you BOTH want to be into it not be pushed or coerced into it.

Do you love this woman enough to ignore this lifestyle and continue life solely just u and her??

Or is the pull thrill of this lifestyle and having multiple partners more for you ??

In the long run I can just see a lot of cheating and secretiveness it’s nots healthy or good, esp for your lady.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inx_xxWoman
11 weeks ago

Shrewsbury


"she feels that she's not good enough for me hence why I want someone else which is the complete opposite. "

You're wife is right.

You're on a swingers site as a single male without permission or knowledge from your wife.

I'm sorry but that's cheating and I know lots of people do it and that's your business.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *quirtyndirty!Couple
11 weeks ago

Nottingham

The state of this relationship

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *teveanddebsCouple
11 weeks ago

Norwich


"For me I think your walking into trouble, yea bring it up to and she finds out your already on here, for me if it was brought up to me that way I would assume he had already been with people behind my back"

Maybe she already has and the bit about her mate being on here was a clue?

Her mate shows her his profile and she sees pictures she probably took, veris and his "they don't know what their missing" comment and she joins them for an mff to get her own back

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *te0151 OP   Man
11 weeks ago

Liverpool

Take your comment all day. Relationship could be better for us both. Think we need some new stuff and wondered if this is what we are missing. Both had lots of fun together but life,kids and jobs have impacted the bedroom sadly.

Would love to get us both here on same page.

I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ischiefManaged69Couple
11 weeks ago

Preston


"Take your comment all day. Relationship could be better for us both. Think we need some new stuff and wondered if this is what we are missing. Both had lots of fun together but life,kids and jobs have impacted the bedroom sadly.

Would love to get us both here on same page.

I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us "

Interesting. You're taking a step back.... Is that after you decide whether to message her mate as you say in your other forum post a few minutes ago?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us "

You don't need to justify your actions to anyone else. Just yourself. And your wife.

But honesty is usually the best policy.

And a status update looking to meet and accomodate tonight isn't exactly stepping back.

These 'how do I get my partner into swinging' threads rarely end up going well for the person asking the question, given that it's something couples share between them. If you really want her to consider it then only an open and honest conversation is the way forward, not trying to gauge reactions from staged TV programmes. And no means no, not a temporary answer that can be changed with some arm twisting and persuasion.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *te0151 OP   Man
11 weeks ago

Liverpool

Will be when the subscription runs out. You will know the addiction of fab yourself it's hard

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
11 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Will be when the subscription runs out. You will know the addiction of fab yourself it's hard "

Why wait? It's a fiver at most.

And no, for me it's not an addiction, it's a choice. One I make with the knowledge that I can be on here as little or as much as I wish, with both of my partners being fully aware (given I met them on Fab) and the ability to discuss life openly and honestly.

Secrecy and a lack of consent is what kills relationships, not a lack of sex.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uenevereWoman
11 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

OP, if you're in a long term committed relationship, you should know your partner well enough to be aware of the best approach.

You know her and how likely it is that she will be interested, we don't know her.

Do you have an active and varied sex life already? Are you open and honest with each other? If the answer is no to either of these questions, I really don't think swinging is for you.

Successful swinging couples have great relationships and swinging just adds another layer of sexual experiences 2 people can't achieve alone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
11 weeks ago

wonderland.

Why don’t you show her your profile here OP?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyandthebrain2023Couple
11 weeks ago

Cheshire

If the other half knows its swinging. If the other half has no idea then it's cheating. We'll that's our approach when it comes to it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ipstick KissesWoman
11 weeks ago

Newry


"Take your comment all day. Relationship could be better for us both. Think we need some new stuff and wondered if this is what we are missing. Both had lots of fun together but life,kids and jobs have impacted the bedroom sadly.

Would love to get us both here on same page.

I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us "

You've zero intention of taking a step back if your status update of 10 mins ago is anything to go by.

Your wife told you candidly that she doesn't think she's good enough for you. You say that couldn't be further from the truth. Your solution is to continue reinforcing that she isn't, and you justify it by wanting to wait til you get your fiver's worth out of the site.

It would be laughable if it wasn't so fucking tragic

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rdere OpusCouple
11 weeks ago

Brum - ish


"Take your comment all day. Relationship could be better for us both. Think we need some new stuff and wondered if this is what we are missing. Both had lots of fun together but life,kids and jobs have impacted the bedroom sadly.

Would love to get us both here on same page.

I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us "

I don’t know anything about either of you but I do know that, if things could be better for both of you, introducing other people into it isn’t the new stuff you need.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
11 weeks ago

Fucksville


"Take your comment all day. Relationship could be better for us both. Think we need some new stuff and wondered if this is what we are missing. Both had lots of fun together but life,kids and jobs have impacted the bedroom sadly.

Would love to get us both here on same page.

I'm not pushing it and I'm taking a step back from here to concentrate on us

You've zero intention of taking a step back if your status update of 10 mins ago is anything to go by.

Your wife told you candidly that she doesn't think she's good enough for you. You say that couldn't be further from the truth. Your solution is to continue reinforcing that she isn't, and you justify it by wanting to wait til you get your fiver's worth out of the site.

It would be laughable if it wasn't so fucking tragic"

This. The poor wife already feeling less worthy and now has this bastard of a "seed planted", well done OP on making your wife probably doubt herself even more. Give your head a wobble and either have a proper open hearted conversation or carry on as you were, ether way I feel sorry for her.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss KinkWoman
11 weeks ago

Up North


"Your post makes me as a woman uncomfortable."

Same

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cunthorpe123Couple
11 weeks ago

scunthorpe

I’m sorry but your poor wife.

You have broached the subject and she’s not interested yet you still press her about it.

Add to that the fact you have a single profile on here looking for meets and it absolutely tells me that you don’t respect your lady or relationship at all!

If Sean did this to me, I would be heartbroken and our relationship would be over

Donna

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eus n EuropaCouple
11 weeks ago

Dartford

These sort of posts absolutely amaze us

Tho looking at all the posts OP has put on checking the green flag am actually starting to think he's just a fantasist

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pforfun987Man
11 weeks ago

Warrington

Don't do it you'll never look at her the same after

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oney2Couple
11 weeks ago

Chester


"I’m sorry but your poor wife.

You have broached the subject and she’s not interested yet you still press her about it.

Add to that the fact you have a single profile on here looking for meets and it absolutely tells me that you don’t respect your lady or relationship at all!

If Sean did this to me, I would be heartbroken and our relationship would be over

Donna "

Good post

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oney2Couple
11 weeks ago

Chester


"These sort of posts absolutely amaze us

Tho looking at all the posts OP has put on checking the green flag am actually starting to think he's just a fantasist "

My partner said this, thinks he doing it for attention

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heshireguy99Man
11 weeks ago

Northwich

My partner and I are both on here and we are going to have a joint profile we had an mmf first and now we are looking for a bi female being open and not hiding anything is the best feeling

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inger_SnapWoman
11 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Therapy might be a better idea.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entleman JayMan
11 weeks ago

Wakefield


"So posted few days back looking for advice on getting the Mrs interested. Just thought I'd update following last nights discussion... Big thanks to everyone for their advice who replied and messaged me directly

It went like this..Nothing on TV as per usual, knew C4 would have some sort of swingers program. Was actually looking for open house as Jess and Mike are hot. Long story comes across young swingers first and the blurb pulled me in, bit of a mistake not good watch. So I made a comment and said let's see what goes on with this... Worst program ever sat there in masks throughout, intimidating rather than sexy.

Starts talking about could you would you etc... and my head could have fell off. She said X her mate and her fella as into swinging and use a site called fan something! My heart went nuts. To the point I was shaking, she picked up on it about 5 mins later and asked why I was shaking! Need to be extra careful now as I am here without permission!

Discussion went ok, talked about a fantasy of mine I sometimes use to wank over a MMF/MMFF with hermshe didn't engage loads but said she's not sharing me, half said well if you want me sha.. then and didn't finish the sentence. Felt the convo didn't have any legs and she wasn't opening up. At this point I was steaming especially knowing her mates at it. Finished off with a naughty shag and give her something to think about for a bit! "

She ain’t interested mate.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *akeland-ladMan
11 weeks ago

South Lakes

Simple question: if your wife is enough for you, as you claim - why are you on here?

You've posted two very similar threads and it seems clear from the comments and your own thoughts your wife isn't interested.

Which brings me back to my question - why aes you on here? If she was enough you wouldn't be on here without permission looking for sex, simple.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
11 weeks ago

Coventry

For me I just see this as an non starter. It fails three key tests:

First, you are completely honest and open with each other.

Second (which goes hand in hand with the first), can you communicate your desires clearly with eachother.

Third, you both individually are enthusiastic about exploring the lifestyle together.

I say this not from a point of judgement about individual circumstances but from a point of universal truths of swinging as a couple.

Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *teinsGateDuoCouple
11 weeks ago

Newcastle under Lyme

[Removed by poster at 01/05/25 12:50:09]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *teinsGateDuoCouple
11 weeks ago

Newcastle under Lyme

You want your wife to try swinging? Tell her point blank you like the idea of fucking her in a three way. Ask her if she'd be up for that, attention from you and another man. It's not a case of her shareing you, it's a case of wanting to experience partner swapping and group sex with her.

This is your wife, if you can't be honest with each other why the hell are you married? She may very well say no, in which case Id question what's more important to you? As for being on here, just tell her you've done some research beforehand as you really want to do it.

Now, off you go, god speed!

(Bloody annoying you can't edit typos)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top