FabSwingers.com forum: New and struggling

By *leasure4you OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tunbridge Wells

Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle?

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By *host63Man
15 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

No but unless yij are six foot six pack with a six figure salary your like pretty much every guy here.

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By *iss DevilWoman
15 weeks ago

Bedford

"No but unless yij are six foot six pack with a six figure salary your like pretty much every guy here.

That is very much not true. But if you could point me to those 6 foot six figure salary guys, that would be great!

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By *leasure4you OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tunbridge Wells

But from what I see, lots of guys get meets. Or is it not as often as it looks

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By *herrybakewellCouple
15 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Its like the national lottery. The odds aren't in your favour.

There's such a high volume of men its difficult to make yourself stand out.

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By *orthampton jamesMan
15 weeks ago

Northampton

"Its like the national lottery. The odds aren't in your favour.

There's such a high volume of men its difficult to make yourself stand out. "

This is spot on

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By *iss DevilWoman
15 weeks ago

Bedford

OP, it's not easy to stand out here as a single guy as this site is full to the brim with them (some not actually single but that's a different story). Therefore, I'd suggest making sure your profile states exactly what you can bring to the party and why they should choose you instead of thousands of other guys. As most people check the profile first, usually in ninja mode, not showing on "who looked at me" page - it prevents messages like "you looked at me, wanna fuck?" or similar, allows us to perve in peace.

When you send messages (if you do), do you cast a wide net by using copy and paste message sent to loads of profiles? Or do you actually read profiles and tailor your messages?

Also, have you tried "going out there" in the big wild world of swinging? It doesn't have to be a club, but organised socials are a good way of meeting people. There are some that are being run regularly and attract quite a crowd. Also, a lot of them have chat groups set up beforehand, so you can get to know people before the social. They are usually either free or a small contribution is required, but spaces for single men are normally limited so it's good to get there early.

Last but not least - I think your age range might be limiting your options, too.

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By *iss DevilWoman
15 weeks ago

Bedford

"But from what I see, lots of guys get meets. Or is it not as often as it looks"

Have a closer look on profiles of men who, according to you, get meets. I bet at least some of the meets are from clubs or organised socials, not just purely through Fab.

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By *uckurcumMan
15 weeks ago

Bishop Auckland

"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "

It's like any site these days .... Lots of bodies to choose from,and to some extent it is as has already been said like a lottery.

You have to be prepared to stick it out and eventually things happen ...

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By *asterofmaidsMan
15 weeks ago

Telford

Read your profile sweetie it's like zzzzz your bringing your "a" game that's when it put me off

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By *harAndBryCouple
15 weeks ago

Downham Market

"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "

You're not fighting any battle at all....your profile isn't anything to shout about and your pics aren't helping. It's not that guys don't get meets (hell, look at our verifications) it's just that there's SO many, and very few couples or women meet more than a few times each month.

You've got to stand out and make yourself a good choice....and that's NOT about being the 6'6"10" rich guy that most bitter guys think we're only interested in.

On a plus side...what we can see of your face looks nice.

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By *inchestersBitchWoman
15 weeks ago

land of overweight munters

Hey OP

you've done what I think some do, a basic profile with the donts..

Some don't like bathroom pics or strange angles

There's very little bio

Very little info on what you bring to the table

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

"No but unless yij are six foot six pack with a six figure salary your like pretty much every guy here.

Load of bollocks.

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By *leasure4you OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tunbridge Wells

I have changed some of my profile, does that stand out abit more?

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "

On here there is absolutely tons of single guys, some do very well, some do ok, others do nothing.

It's extremely easy to see the guys who make an effort with their profile , approach and their pics then there's the guys who whack their cock out over a toilet bowl and cry because they can't get a response.

Basically your profile needs to stand out, good pics, good bio, get along to some organised socials or clubs (yes I know it's effort but still) it makes a lot of difference.

If you want to meet people approach them like people not a cum bucket like many do on here.

Good luck op.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
15 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I have changed some of my profile, does that stand out abit more?"

Yes but I'd say never say what you're not, why he negatives

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By *leasure4you OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tunbridge Wells

Because it's honest? I'm not great at seeing my positives. And I don't want to disappoint people with who i am/ what I look like

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By *iss KinkWoman
15 weeks ago

Up North

You don’t stand out really and your pics could be alot better. Maybe look at other profiles to get ideas

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By *leasure4you OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tunbridge Wells

Would could be better about my pics? I have updated my profile in the last half an hour so what could be better?

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

The Main thing Chap is persevere..

As said before on Many threads, There's a lot of us Single Guys on here , Some genuine Singles, Others not, Some make an effort, Others don't ..

As said before, Clearer (Closer) Pics, a bit of info in what You bring to the Table/Bed/Wherever, Don't focus on Negatives (Unless it's Test results lol) and when You message someone , make it relevant to them, not a cut'n'paste message..

Also look at Organised Socials and Clubs, good way to build a network up and see what happens - I wish You luck

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By *end1Man
15 weeks ago

southend on sea

"Would could be better about my pics? I have updated my profile in the last half an hour so what could be better?"
OP first listen to the advice from the ladies. Second you sound quite negative which is not attractive. And third your profile sounds more suited to a dating site.

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By *iss DevilWoman
15 weeks ago

Bedford

"Would could be better about my pics? I have updated my profile in the last half an hour so what could be better? OP first listen to the advice from the ladies. Second you sound quite negative which is not attractive. And third your profile sounds more suited to a dating site. "

Nah, he doesn't need to listen to our advice lol. Us ladies, we know nothing about how Fab works, about our preferences, what we like to see on profiles and in private messages and what we don't. And we all only want a BBC with a giant cock, gym bod and wallet full to the brim

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By *eavenscentitCouple
15 weeks ago

barnstaple

"No but unless yij are six foot six pack with a six figure salary your like pretty much every guy here.

Load of bollocks."

True

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By *eavenscentitCouple
15 weeks ago

barnstaple

"Would could be better about my pics? I have updated my profile in the last half an hour so what could be better?"

Your photos are not great but, I'm an Oldie what would I know.

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By *iss KinkWoman
15 weeks ago

Up North

"Would could be better about my pics? I have updated my profile in the last half an hour so what could be better?"

Look at the background. Untidy rooms are not good or clutter. They are not flattering

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By *lowercandyWoman
15 weeks ago

Lancashire

"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "

As a single guy you are outnumbered on here and your profile is your shop window

Having taken a look..

It doesn't stand out

The pictures are meh nothing really exciting just snap shots

Apart from what you do in your free time I have no idea what you bring to the table and why you are a better bet than the next ten messages in my inbox ( though I'm outside your age range )

But you get the idea

Get looking for a local organised social event

Look at local clubs that are having newbies nights

Get a thick skin

Learn patience

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By *leasure4you OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tunbridge Wells

Thank you, honestly I'm not sure what I bring and those pictures don't get better, im not very photogenic. I guess I'm just going to keep trying and see what happens

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

"Would could be better about my pics? I have updated my profile in the last half an hour so what could be better?"

Backgrounds, you can get a good full body pic without doing it in a mirror, hand up high and lay down, or do it in the shower hand over cock other taking the pic, there's a few guys with great pics on here you should have a look.

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

your one of many and by many i mean men outnumber women and couples by huge percentages no just on fab but the scene as a whole most men for many reason will get no where on this lifestyle scene..

its a scene where quite simply their is not NOT someone for everyone not in the slightest

sexual attraction physical attraction is needed along with compatibility and this is where women and couples struggle yes theres plenty of men on here but finding the right one or few in a nightmare at times ...

so its up to you to sell you but also get out there with clubs and socials even tho they wony guarantee anything it gets you notice at least ... deffo agree with the grow some thick skin because as a guy you will get lots of rejection ..

the scene is bloody hard for men some not but most hard infact most will never get a meet simply because on the overwhelming number of men and thats before any attraction of sorts

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By *leep walkerMan
15 weeks ago

Caerphilly

"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "

Fab is like going fishing. It's a percentage game. Be patient and keep trying.

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By *umagain58Man
15 weeks ago

London

"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "

Keep on trying and you never know it might happen. Don’t expect anyone to meet you as I find that best. It has taken me over a year of chats in some cases to meet some people from here. It was well worth the wait.

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By *r Smith 2025Man
15 weeks ago

cheshire

I’m the same, can’t get verified either, so if any lady, or couple wish to face chat / cam to help a guy out, would be much appreciated

Thanks

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
15 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

You're in the majority looking for the minority.

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By *ucka39Man
15 weeks ago

Newcastle

Hiya op

The best advice I can give you is browse other profiles see how they've created their own bio for ideas then create something that fits ideally around you. Others need to find something that not only interests them but maybe want to also explore keep your options open

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
15 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Because it's honest? I'm not great at seeing my positives. And I don't want to disappoint people with who i am/ what I look like"

You should allow people to make their own mind up about you.

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By *iss KinkWoman
15 weeks ago

Up North

"I’m the same, can’t get verified either, so if any lady, or couple wish to face chat / cam to help a guy out, would be much appreciated

Thanks "

So who is the lady in your picture? Can she not verify you?

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By *leasure4you OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tunbridge Wells

"Because it's honest? I'm not great at seeing my positives. And I don't want to disappoint people with who i am/ what I look like

You should allow people to make their own mind up about you. "

Is there any chance that we could talk?

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By *BA8891Man
15 weeks ago

Manchester

I feel exactly the same!

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By *aramelChocolatecoupleCouple
15 weeks ago

Surrey

I would get to a social or a club, meet people and chat (no pressure) and get verified as genuine.

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By *harAndBryCouple
15 weeks ago

Downham Market

"I’m the same, can’t get verified either, so if any lady, or couple wish to face chat / cam to help a guy out, would be much appreciated

Thanks "

Anything but meet verifications are pointless...they just show you might look like your pics. In person verifications show you actually leave the house to meet people. Organised socials or clubs, don't need to be play meets.

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By *ucka39Man
15 weeks ago

Newcastle

Could use the cam chat rooms and mingle get to know others it can also lead anywhere, the more you use of the site helps rather than just waiting for a response

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

My meets (and current chats) are coming from people messaging me. I don’t really bother sending out first messages, most of the time they’re left on yellow.

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By *un couple 2Couple
15 weeks ago

Tynemouth.

Having Your Profile hidden wont help

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
15 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

"Hey so I have been on this site 3 times now and still haven't met anyone and hardly spoken. Am I doing something wrong, am I not attractive or am I fighting a losing battle? "
op it would help if you didn’t hide your profile

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By *leasure4you OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tunbridge Wells

I didn't mean to, i was looking through settings

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By *nglishdelightMan
14 weeks ago

mansfield

It’s hard time is the key nothing happens that quick a women needs to protect her self the thing you have to ask yourself is what can u offer that someone else cant

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By *inky PerkyCouple
14 weeks ago

Kingston

Honest answer? - for a good looking guy your pictures are terrible and your profile is unappealing.

Contrary to certain people's opinions, it's not to do with looking like a male model, it's to do with how much effort you put in to stand out.

How long did it take you to get those pictures together? 10 mins? How long to write that profile? 5 mins?

99% of guys on this site have accounts that scream "I want to get laid but don't want to put any effort in at all". Unsurprisingly they are the ones with zero meets.

Take some time to put together a really appealing profile, work on your approach (NEVER start with: Hey!) and see if you don't get a lot more engagement. It's still a lottery but you can make the odds far better.

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By *inky PerkyCouple
14 weeks ago

Kingston

BTW, please ignore the "I never need to contact women" bullshitters.

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By *ootnootboopCouple
14 weeks ago

Cheshire

"No but unless yij are six foot six pack with a six figure salary your like pretty much every guy here.

They don't exist! The guys in the scene we know who are having the most fun probably don't even tick one of those off!

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By *uenevereWoman
14 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

"No but unless yij are six foot six pack with a six figure salary your like pretty much every guy here.

Definitely not the case

I'm not a fan of the body builder physique and height isn't a factor.

I do value humour, courtesy and positivity. Good literacy is also a bonus.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
14 weeks ago

Central

It's best to have realistic expectations, for your wellbeing as a single man.

People won't chat, if you've not given them materials that indicate that you're mutually compatible. It would lead to a dead end. It's not about good looks, right cock etc - it's personality, preferences etc. learn what you can to optimise how you sell yourself, from forum post tips. Socials and clubs will get you meeting people.

Take a long hard look at what you present here - is it all giving the best of what a prospective partner would need? Pics, really good; text showing your talents and preferences etc.

. Just remind yourself that 99% of people will never be mutually compatible. It's not a failure to be in the majority

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