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"Starting to wonder why guys bother with this site. The ratio is so one sided it seems 75 percent of messaged barely get opened, let alone a reply. I find it so much easier to get matches and dates off pretty much any other app. This isn't meant as a woe is me post, I respect women are inundated on this site. It just seems like you're batting against a ridiculous ratio on here. I know the obvious answer is don't use fab and I may well do that but just thought I'd post something on here." Realized I should have put "single men" on the title haha | |||
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"Some men actually enjoy and are actively swinging to including via clubs. Fab is the outstanding swinging site in the UK, so supports them and others doing this. Ultimately, most people are not mutually compatible with most other people, so it's probably optimistic to expect that 1 in 75 messages finds a mutual match. It's similar to real life but women here know that they don't have to settle for a bad match. You won't find the same outlook amongst potential partners elsewhere and Fab is not totally about finding someone out of the thousands here. But there's tons of choice " Sure I get that if you're into the swinging scene and clubs, Fab is probably a good place | |||
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"If you found it easier to get matches and dates on another site what made you sign up to this site 2 weeks ago? I would have just concentrated on the other site saying 'If it ain't broke don't fix it'. " It's hard for me to tell prospective vanilla dates I like being called names and being tied up  | |||
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"If you found it easier to get matches and dates on another site what made you sign up to this site 2 weeks ago? I would have just concentrated on the other site saying 'If it ain't broke don't fix it'. It's hard for me to tell prospective vanilla dates I like being called names and being tied up "Ah so the matches on the other site aren't really matches because you're not clearly revealing yourself. This is a good site for a non vanilla dates but you have to put in more than 2 weeks effort into learning how everything works. Do a search in the forums for similar queries and take onboard tips people have provided in the past  . Good luck , be optimistic, noone likes a moaner when it's outside the bedroom | |||
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"If you found it easier to get matches and dates on another site what made you sign up to this site 2 weeks ago? I would have just concentrated on the other site saying 'If it ain't broke don't fix it'. " Fab is the ONLY site a solo guy can use completely free of charge, every other site punishes men financially, just like the swinger clubs do. Why wouldn’t a solo guy sign up to this site, and hang out until they make a connection? | |||
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"If you found it easier to get matches and dates on another site what made you sign up to this site 2 weeks ago? I would have just concentrated on the other site saying 'If it ain't broke don't fix it'. It's hard for me to tell prospective vanilla dates I like being called names and being tied up "Try an opening line like “Are you a little bit kinky in the bedroom?” with a smile and a twinkle in your eye  | |||
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"If you found it easier to get matches and dates on another site what made you sign up to this site 2 weeks ago? I would have just concentrated on the other site saying 'If it ain't broke don't fix it'. Fab is the ONLY site a solo guy can use completely free of charge, every other site punishes men financially, just like the swinger clubs do. Why wouldn’t a solo guy sign up to this site, and hang out until they make a connection?" But he's getting matches and meets elsewhere so he must be a member of the other site, so why waste time wondering why people use fab, a site he's had no luck with. | |||
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"If you found it easier to get matches and dates on another site what made you sign up to this site 2 weeks ago? I would have just concentrated on the other site saying 'If it ain't broke don't fix it'. Fab is the ONLY site a solo guy can use completely free of charge, every other site punishes men financially, just like the swinger clubs do. Why wouldn’t a solo guy sign up to this site, and hang out until they make a connection? But he's getting matches and meets elsewhere so he must be a member of the other site, so why waste time wondering why people use fab, a site he's had no luck with." I'm flattered my situation on fab is causing a debate now x | |||
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" It's hard for me to tell prospective vanilla dates I like being called names and being tied up "Do you mention this desire on your Fab profile ? | |||
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"Starting to wonder why guys bother with this site. The ratio is so one sided it seems 75 percent of messaged barely get opened, let alone a reply. I find it so much easier to get matches and dates off pretty much any other app. This isn't meant as a woe is me post, I respect women are inundated on this site. It just seems like you're batting against a ridiculous ratio on here. I know the obvious answer is don't use fab and I may well do that but just thought I'd post something on here." Many Men probably think it will be easy to get sex with horny single Women and frustrated Housewives, but it's not as easy as that. If you go to social events and swingers clubs and get chatting to people you can make connections and you're more likely to get fun. Bear in mind you'll need to be chatty and say _ello to people and not be one who waits to be approached. Some Women may prefer to reply to people who have meet verifications and then it may depend on the message they receive. | |||
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"If you found it easier to get matches and dates on another site what made you sign up to this site 2 weeks ago? I would have just concentrated on the other site saying 'If it ain't broke don't fix it'. Fab is the ONLY site a solo guy can use completely free of charge, every other site punishes men financially, just like the swinger clubs do. Why wouldn’t a solo guy sign up to this site, and hang out until they make a connection? But he's getting matches and meets elsewhere so he must be a member of the other site, so why waste time wondering why people use fab, a site he's had no luck with." Yep, I get that, I was just saying that Fab is completely free to use, so why wouldn’t any guy give it a go, they have nothing to lose….? I use another site to get meets too. The ratio of men to women is very much more even, and even though it has proved very successful for me over the years, it is too expensive as a bloke in there. I’m not a tight arse, but I don’t like being taken for a mug…. | |||
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"Have you tried looking elsewhere to find munches and other kink related meetups? You'll find a higher proportion of kinky people in larger towns/cities and they generally meet up and get to know eachother in person more. The best thing about munches is that they are very low cost if not free in most areas. Might be more up your street OP A 🙂" Yes I'm on also a well known kink site and find that much easier in general
My original point in general was more majority of messages don't actually get read. So it's a bit like how do you beat the odds haha. | |||
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"Have you tried looking elsewhere to find munches and other kink related meetups? You'll find a higher proportion of kinky people in larger towns/cities and they generally meet up and get to know eachother in person more. The best thing about munches is that they are very low cost if not free in most areas. Might be more up your street OP A 🙂 Yes I'm on also a well known kink site and find that much easier in general
My original point in general was more majority of messages don't actually get read. So it's a bit like how do you beat the odds haha. "Go to socials, go to clubs, and understand the swinger mindset not the hookup one | |||
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"Starting to wonder why guys bother with this site. The ratio is so one sided it seems 75 percent of messaged barely get opened, let alone a reply. I find it so much easier to get matches and dates off pretty much any other app. This isn't meant as a woe is me post, I respect women are inundated on this site. It just seems like you're batting against a ridiculous ratio on here. I know the obvious answer is don't use fab and I may well do that but just thought I'd post something on here." You have been on 2 weeks! | |||
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"If you found it easier to get matches and dates on another site what made you sign up to this site 2 weeks ago? I would have just concentrated on the other site saying 'If it ain't broke don't fix it'. It's hard for me to tell prospective vanilla dates I like being called names and being tied up "Fab isn't the best place for this either. As suggested by someone else already, you probably want to look up kink munches in your area. I think it's against policy to link to other sites but you shouldn't have any difficulty finding the relevant one with a quick web search. | |||
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"Have you tried looking elsewhere to find munches and other kink related meetups? You'll find a higher proportion of kinky people in larger towns/cities and they generally meet up and get to know eachother in person more. The best thing about munches is that they are very low cost if not free in most areas. Might be more up your street OP A 🙂 Yes I'm on also a well known kink site and find that much easier in general
My original point in general was more majority of messages don't actually get read. So it's a bit like how do you beat the odds haha. "Sadly I don't think there is an easy way of beating the odds. Just remember your trying to find one person, and it may take a few tries to get there, but it will happen! A 🙂 | |||
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"Starting to wonder why guys bother with this site. The ratio is so one sided it seems 75 percent of messaged barely get opened, let alone a reply. I find it so much easier to get matches and dates off pretty much any other app. This isn't meant as a woe is me post, I respect women are inundated on this site. It just seems like you're batting against a ridiculous ratio on here. I know the obvious answer is don't use fab and I may well do that but just thought I'd post something on here. You have been on 2 weeks! " But as mentioned in earlier posts, and on his profile, this isn’t his first time in Fab…… | |||
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" My original point in general was more majority of messages don't actually get read. So it's a bit like how do you beat the odds haha. " Are you contacting profiles that are specifically looking for a guy like you? Despite stating I only meet in clubs 90% of the daily messages I receive are from guys that have clearly ignored that. If I take the time to reply and point it out they respond by saying “I thought I’d try my luck” Why set yourself up for failure? I delete unread and block now. | |||
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"Starting to wonder why guys bother with this site." Because, personally, it gives me everything that I'm looking for. "The ratio is so one sided it seems 75 percent of messaged barely get opened, let alone a reply." Do you mean generally or specifically the messages that ·you· send? "It just seems like you're batting against a ridiculous ratio on here." Ratios and numbers can quite possibly impede the chances for ·some· people on here. For others they have little impact. | |||
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"My original point in general was more majority of messages don't actually get read. So it's a bit like how do you beat the odds haha. " If your messages aren't being read, there's a few possibilities: 1) recipient checked out your profile before reading the message and you don't meet their basic criteria in terms of distance, age, height, whatever their personal basic requirements are 2) recipient checked out your profile before reading the message and decided that they don't fit what you're looking for 3) recipient checked out your profile before reading the message and something on it made them think 'nah' 4) recipient did read your message, wasn't interested, and marked it unread again to avoid a follow-up message 5) recipient read your message but didn't have time to properly reply to it then and there, so marked it unread to come back to later 6) recipient rage-quit and hit 'delete all' on the old inbox These are just a few reasons I personally would leave a message unread. | |||
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Regardless of ratio compatible
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"Starting to wonder why guys bother with this site. The ratio is so one sided it seems 75 percent of messaged barely get opened, let alone a reply. I find it so much easier to get matches and dates off pretty much any other app. This isn't meant as a woe is me post, I respect women are inundated on this site. It just seems like you're batting against a ridiculous ratio on here. I know the obvious answer is don't use fab and I may well do that but just thought I'd post something on here." Don't rely on this site for dates. As you said, the ratio is heavily against guys. Use the site for what it is, a tool to interact with others, there are far better sites for meeting people if that's your game. Go to a club with a theme you are interested in and I guarantee you will meet and talk to people, I can't guarantee you will hit it off those, but at least you are out there trying. There are also much better sites for your desire to be tied up, even that can be a little too far for most in here. | |||
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"Starting to wonder why guys bother with this site. The ratio is so one sided it seems 75 percent of messaged barely get opened, let alone a reply. I find it so much easier to get matches and dates off pretty much any other app. This isn't meant as a woe is me post, I respect women are inundated on this site. It just seems like you're batting against a ridiculous ratio on here. I know the obvious answer is don't use fab and I may well do that but just thought I'd post something on here." Thus is just my observation...but I think that a lot of the single men who sign up to Fab aren't really looking to swing. They're after casual sex, which in and of itself isn't a bad thing but they assume that swingers are easy and therefore treat the place like a kind of sex orientated Argos catalogue...flick through the pages, see something you like, place an order and it turns up...then they get frustrated that it's out of stock, comes in the wrong box, needs assembling or their order just doesn't get processed... We've been on here on and off for over a decade and nothing really changes from that perspective other than the names of the men writing these threads... Fab is a tool to use if you're interested in the swinging scene, but it's only one...the others are getting to know what the scene of your choice offers, turning up to events there and getting yourself known, making connections in real life and not from behind a screen...it's often a slow build for couples as well as singles...but anything worth having has to come with a but if effort...there's learning in the work too, which pays off no end... PP  | |||
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"Starting to wonder why guys bother with this site. The ratio is so one sided it seems 75 percent of messaged barely get opened, let alone a reply. I find it so much easier to get matches and dates off pretty much any other app. This isn't meant as a woe is me post, I respect women are inundated on this site. It just seems like you're batting against a ridiculous ratio on here. I know the obvious answer is don't use fab and I may well do that but just thought I'd post something on here. Thus is just my observation...but I think that a lot of the single men who sign up to Fab aren't really looking to swing. They're after casual sex, which in and of itself isn't a bad thing but they assume that swingers are easy and therefore treat the place like a kind of sex orientated Argos catalogue...flick through the pages, see something you like, place an order and it turns up...then they get frustrated that it's out of stock, comes in the wrong box, needs assembling or their order just doesn't get processed... We've been on here on and off for over a decade and nothing really changes from that perspective other than the names of the men writing these threads... Fab is a tool to use if you're interested in the swinging scene, but it's only one...the others are getting to know what the scene of your choice offers, turning up to events there and getting yourself known, making connections in real life and not from behind a screen...it's often a slow build for couples as well as singles...but anything worth having has to come with a but if effort...there's learning in the work too, which pays off no end... PP "That is the perfect analogy! And it can be relevant to everyone, not just single guys, to be fair. I was called ‘very rude’ yesterday for pointing out to a couple who messaged me that their ‘female wanted for later’ status was akin to trying to order a takeaway and probably wasn’t doing them any favours…. | |||
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"do you think it might be worth a visit to a club op" I don't think that's my scene. Tbh as I mentioned I can dates and matches fairly easy on normal dating apps. I'm not desperate I have slightly specific tastes as I've mentioned so I'm going to have be a bit more patient on here. It was also a general discussion point about single men in general on here. | |||
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"Starting to wonder why guys bother with this site. The ratio is so one sided it seems 75 percent of messaged barely get opened, let alone a reply. I find it so much easier to get matches and dates off pretty much any other app. This isn't meant as a woe is me post, I respect women are inundated on this site. It just seems like you're batting against a ridiculous ratio on here. I know the obvious answer is don't use fab and I may well do that but just thought I'd post something on here. Thus is just my observation...but I think that a lot of the single men who sign up to Fab aren't really looking to swing. They're after casual sex, which in and of itself isn't a bad thing but they assume that swingers are easy and therefore treat the place like a kind of sex orientated Argos catalogue...flick through the pages, see something you like, place an order and it turns up...then they get frustrated that it's out of stock, comes in the wrong box, needs assembling or their order just doesn't get processed... We've been on here on and off for over a decade and nothing really changes from that perspective other than the names of the men writing these threads... Fab is a tool to use if you're interested in the swinging scene, but it's only one...the others are getting to know what the scene of your choice offers, turning up to events there and getting yourself known, making connections in real life and not from behind a screen...it's often a slow build for couples as well as singles...but anything worth having has to come with a but if effort...there's learning in the work too, which pays off no end... PP "From my experience as a single guy both looking to enjoy the swinger scene and enjoy causal hook ups traditional online dating sites were far more successful for causal hook ups. Although I did have some meets and experiences from fab the majority of the causal hook ups and more regular arrangements were from dating sites. I was very open about my intent for casual hook ups and I was actually very surprised at the volume of women also looking for the same. I found women were less upfront about seeking casual sex, I think as a filter to avoid creeps. But I found if your upfront and they are chosing still to talk to you then they are intrested in causal sex. Plus I found there's an element of reading between the lines and ambiguity that helps you identify women open to casual sex on online dating even if they dont explicitly say it (for reasons stated before). And of course some women seek relationships but are open to causal sex in the meen time. I made a couple of freinds with benifits who later went on to call a stop because they started to date someone. Fab was for meets too, but I used it was more keeping in the loop for what's going on the scene, see who's going to clubs and for exploring couples and wider group dynamics. So based off my experience as a single guy fab is really not the best place if all you're seeking is one on one casual sex. Mr | |||
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 . If you are truly genuine it should pick up for you soon... | |||
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"Starting to wonder why guys bother with this site. The ratio is so one sided it seems 75 percent of messaged barely get opened, let alone a reply. I find it so much easier to get matches and dates off pretty much any other app. This isn't meant as a woe is me post, I respect women are inundated on this site. It just seems like you're batting against a ridiculous ratio on here. I know the obvious answer is don't use fab and I may well do that but just thought I'd post something on here." Messages can and do get read via the email notifications you get too, some most likely decide not to open the message just by reading the messages that way | |||
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