FabSwingers.com forum: how to get 1st meet?

By *JSpin OP Man
over a year ago

Sydney CBD

hi hny to u all, im a newbie to the site and was woundering if there is any advice u could give me on getting my 1st meet? was in a relationship for 7 years (not now) and got bored with "normal sex" now looking for different experiences

finding it hard to get off the ground. any help would be great!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Patience.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

A better picture.

**No offence meant, but constructive critisism**

The one you have makes you look like you have jaundice and it looks like there is something growing out of your head!

And.........

Patience!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep think u need a better pic hun it is a bit yellow, and agree with the other comments patience xxx

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By *JSpin OP Man
over a year ago

Sydney CBD

ty ladies i see what u mean about the pic and my hair ! never noticed it before...lol

is my new pic any better? what do you think??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think the ladies have said it really: patience!!!

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By *r.edMan
over a year ago

Somewhere over the rainbow !?!

if it first you dont sucseed try and try again ?? message more mista sista ? or go on chat ?? open your eyes !?!

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By *r.edMan
over a year ago

Somewhere over the rainbow !?!

MEET TODAY ???? near browse ? my account ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

really decide what you are looking for then search for couples/fems in the area near you.

READ FULLY THEIR PROFILE and if yu meet what they are looking for in a single guy.. compose a nice message that sells you.

good luck..... and thick skin is required but great fun to be had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think the comments already here are about right,

Also think you will find there are a lot more Guys on here than Women so the ladies have a lot to choose from,so lots of patience, good thing is worth waiting for lol

Good luck mate and have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can i also add....

when you first send a message, dont just put 'hi' and then cut and paste your profile text. If youre looking for a reply, type a personal message - try make her/them smile or such :D

and secondly and most importantly - if it looks like a meet is on the cards, have a good long think about whether you really want to meet. And if you do, be specific and honest. If you dont, be honest and say so....never ever ever timewaste. There are a lot more men than women on here but the women still get messed around and so they learn to go with their gut and if you start messing about theyll go elsewhere to someone verified.

Oh, and put a pic back on - im sure the yellow one was better than nothing! i personally dont reply to anyone without a pic...

Hope you have lots of fun !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My tuppe......... fiv......pounds worth .....

Whenever someone starts ( as your profile does ) with [ insert whiny voice here ] bored and needing ...... OR NEED a woman to show me .....

I don't bother reading the rest and I suspect many other women wouldn't either. Why Why WHY do 'some' males think that curing their boredom is what women seek. Generally I find bored people to be excessively boring. Take some responsibility for yourself. Tell someone what you are GIVING ..... you come across as a whiner to me. Now don't try to bish me ... you asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is an HONEST to God's honest question.

Do Englishmen put up pics wearing pin stripe n a bowler ???

Just a thought ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging is about what YOU are willing to give not take.

The more you put into your profile the more will read it.

The more you put into reading other peoples profiles and respecting them the more people will know that you have.

The more you put into your mails to people the more responses you will get

The more you put into your photo's the more people will want to look at them

The more you put into time the more chance you have, less than a week on the site

some really nice guys wait a year for thier first meet, you have to get to know people, chat in the chatroom, go to socials or to clubs, use the forums etc, swinging is not Asda, the sex isn't there to be picked off the shelf as some believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can anybody tell us what is normal sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not so sure I'd include the word 'cheezy' in my username

Conjures up all manner of weird thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not so sure I'd include the word 'cheezy' in my username

Conjures up all manner of weird thoughts

my thoughts exactly .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"can anybody tell us what is normal sex?"

Yes. It's what your parents or your chldren do. Or better had be!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

can I just point out something with regard to your profile.... not a criticism at all but something you may want to think about

if you consider that your profile is like your "shop window" to the swinging world, you don't actually say anything about yourself, or about what type of person you are after.... for example..tall/short/fat/thin/black/white ect ect....

there are thousands of profiles out there... so why should people pick you? what is it that says to people "pick me!!" rather than someone else...how do you stand out?

took me 6 months to get my first meet... so like the others have said "patience" is a must.. just because people happen to swing, doesn't mean they will drop there knickers for just anyone...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not so sure you warranted that kind of response op haha...

but patience is one of em. obviously a good pic as physical attraction is 9 tenths of the law (tho most women on here tend to say they prefer personality.. errrrmm ;p) whatever haha.

i think best to mingle and make some friends, go from there.

over eagerness leads to nights so beaverless my friend..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

exactly , well put. good to see people actually here to help

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"not so sure you warranted that kind of response op haha...

but patience is one of em. obviously a good pic as physical attraction is 9 tenths of the law (tho most women on here tend to say they prefer personality.. errrrmm ;p) whatever haha.

i think best to mingle and make some friends, go from there.

over eagerness leads to nights so beaverless my friend..

All I see is tips on how he might achieve meets so I don't think there was any need for your first sentance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ok. my opinion. and?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am with the other "bewildered of nottingham" and wondering which responses you thought were negative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

**No offence meant, but constructive critisism**

The one you have makes you look like you have jaundice and it looks like there is something growing out of your head!

i'm sure he's lookin in the mirror with a ton of confidence as we speak.!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow, you have been on a week and you not meet any yet, good job your asking for advice....

This site is heaving with people who are swingers and all are up for it...Thats what the primary purpose of the site is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/01/10 14:24:39]

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"ok. my opinion. and?"

As expected, an aggressive reply back

In answer to your "and? " I was saying that there was no need to try and inflame a situation that wasn't there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

patience is the key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not aggressive at all. need to look nearer to home love for tht. i was merely giving an opinion in the 1st place, but i can see only people like you can do tht...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"not aggressive at all. need to look nearer to home love for tht. i was merely giving an opinion in the 1st place, but i can see only people like you can do tht...

Don't call me love and I suggest you try and leave the agression out of your posts as you may come unstuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who the hell do u think ur threatening?

there was no aggression in any post i have added to. its a shame people like you have to jump on posts and totally get the wrong end of the stick, and become 'AGGRESSIVE'..! grow up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont think he was being 'AGGRESSIVE'

maybe just the way its read as ppl

take my post the wrong way an its

new year so play nice lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"**No offence meant, but constructive critisism**

The one you have makes you look like you have jaundice and it looks like there is something growing out of your head!

i'm sure he's lookin in the mirror with a ton of confidence as we speak.!

I can see where some might find that offensive, but I personally believe the person who said it did mean it in the best possible way, positiong yourself in a photograph is important, exterior objects can spoil a picture, getting the lighting right can make a big difference. a bad photo can at times be worse than no photo, if you only have a bad photo, make a joke about it in the profile eg: sorry about the turnip in my head I tried to remove it but the turnip stopped me so you have to have a picture of my turnip with my head showing too, but I did manage to turn the colour perception up so I look like a cross between a banana and a jaundice ridden single guy"

Now if I read that in a profile I would think "great someone with a sense of humour and a realistic view about himself and life since this is all meant to be fun"

OK not everyone can be as articulate as some, I am constantly saying things in type that come out totally wrong, yet if I spoke them face to face with a wry smile or a wink the context would be seen totally different.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"i dont think he was being 'AGGRESSIVE'

maybe just the way its read as ppl

take my post the wrong way an its

new year so play nice lol

Oh don't start on me too, you know I am shit scared of you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

aww group HUG lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Anyway back to a thread that had some great advice for the OP, who I might add accepted it all graciously.

Let us all know if it worked.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"aww group HUG lol

Phew !! at least the hugs are on offer and not the baw busting !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hey hun im going out soon so my

boots are hung up 4 the ngt so

all fabber's are safe for 1ngt

only tho lol

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By *JSpin OP Man
over a year ago

Sydney CBD

thanks for all the advice i have updated my profile. is it an improvement? what ya think now, and no fighting lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

reads better...

I personally hate the word fuckbuddy no thats a personal thing

good luck with new profile

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By *JSpin OP Man
over a year ago

Sydney CBD

now chaged lol ta bud!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm speechless!

A great new profile .... xxx

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Excellent profile.

and some other piccies as well.

It's nice to see someone take the comments on bored, realise we are being constructive and come up with a cracking profile.

Well done hun............. and good luck!

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By *JSpin OP Man
over a year ago

Sydney CBD

so a vast improvement ? of there is anything you think i could put in to help please offer the suggestions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey Gordy, great profile, good pics, glad there's no mention of fuckbuddy (I'm with you on that one, view).

As others have said, patience, and I'm sure you will soon be rewarded! Good luck! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So good profile and extra pics.

Now try and get yourself to some social meets. always a good way of extending your circle of friends and then things sometimes just evolve

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

first lesson learned well, you have listened and acted

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By *JSpin OP Man
over a year ago

Sydney CBD

"So good profile and extra pics.

Now try and get yourself to some social meets. always a good way of extending your circle of friends and then things sometimes just evolve

good luck

how do i do that??

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

how do i do that??

The Socials are advertised in the forums, and you can request an invite. They're just an opportunity for people to get to know each other, although that's not to say that things don't carry on after the event if people decide they want to

However, the main point of a Social is to meet people in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere.

I don't tend to visit the Scotland area of the forums as it's miles away from me, but that's where they're likely to be advertised. Keep an eye open and I'm sure there'll be one soon enough.

If there's not much happening in Scotland, are you able to travel far? There are Socials in the North of England which may happen more frequently than ones in Scotland. I'm not sure how viable that would be for you, but might be something to bear in mind.

Other than that, stick around the forums and visit the chat rooms too. They're both good ways of making friends with others.

Good luck with everything - I have to say I'm impressed that you took the advice given in the vein it was intended and acted on it very well. Your profile is much better now than it was originally.

All the best

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Just had a quick look and there's one happening in Fife in February.

More details... http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/scotland/16872

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By *JSpin OP Man
over a year ago

Sydney CBD

cheers everyone for your advice

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By *oyston VaseyMan
over a year ago

Sheffield- Pothole City

"now chaged lol ta bud!

"
Well done mate - the change of profile certainly worked for you - 4 weeks on here and 3 meets .

Lucky Lad

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"hi hny to u all, im a newbie to the site and was woundering if there is any advice u could give me on getting my 1st meet? was in a relationship for 7 years (not now) and got bored with "normal sex" now looking for different experiences

finding it hard to get off the ground. any help would be great!

What is normal sex? You may swing with a female or couple but surely at the end of the day the sex you will have is just the same as with a partner?

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By *lack_BoltMan
over a year ago

oxford

I think most people have provided excellent help and advice, but I'd just like to add that, along with all the other comments, a general sense of respect for other people is vital. This isn't a flesh market and so try to make friends, talk to people as though they matter and aren't just pieces of meat to do with what you will. Show consideration and real interest in the other person. Don't just see them as a shag.

Sometimes it 's worth just making friends first so that people get to know you. Go into the chat rooms, and of course the forums, create a dialogue with people who genuinely interest you. Be kind, honest, and thoughtful. Don't expect an instant shag. You'll be pleasant surprise how quickly people will warm to you and then might even approach you first.

You have to work at it just as you would in the "vanilla" world. But it's worth it in the end. And by the way try to see each encounter as a friend for life. It's much more satisfying that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so glad I found this thread. i'm new here, found the place a week ago and have struggled with what to put in my profile. thanks to all of the friendly and positive advice in here, I am off now to re-write it again. This time, I hope, it reads in a way that not only I like but hopefully some of you lovely sexy people do too.

Spoogle

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

hope ya take it all in better than the OP poster has... he has now put up a whinging post in the scottish forums on the same subject....

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