FabSwingers.com forum: Wife reads very dirty books on phone

Cardiff

Hi. After some advice / comments (ideally from a ladies point of view). My wife and I rarely have sex. She flirts with me a lot and promises me sex but it very rarely happens. I’ve stopped asking her now as I’m fed up of the rejection. She fell asleep the other night and her phone was left open. I noticed she has been reading really naughty books. The first line I read was “I was sliding up and down his think veiny cock”! Why would she be reading these books and presumably getting horny whilst reading. But then rarely has sex with me? Do you think it’s just that she doesn’t find me attractive? She tells me she does but something just doesn’t add up! (And I’m certain she isn’t having sex elsewhere) If any ladies do this themselves and could shed some light on it that would be great. Or males in a similar position to me. Thanks

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By *aughtyFreddoMan
6 days ago

Coventry

She may be tired, maybe you need to help out around the house more etc. Also, make sure you are not giving her the ick. Cutting toenails, licking your plate after dinner, sniffing, there are a million things that turn off some people. Foreplay starts with complements.

Good luck

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
6 days ago

Carlisle usually

I do like a good fuck book.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the book, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too 💜

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By *iGuy197747Man
6 days ago

Stamford

"Hi. After some advice / comments (ideally from a ladies point of view). My wife and I rarely have sex. She flirts with me a lot and promises me sex but it very rarely happens. I’ve stopped asking her now as I’m fed up of the rejection. She fell asleep the other night and her phone was left open. I noticed she has been reading really naughty books. The first line I read was “I was sliding up and down his think veiny cock”! Why would she be reading these books and presumably getting horny whilst reading. But then rarely has sex with me? Do you think it’s just that she doesn’t find me attractive? She tells me she does but something just doesn’t add up! (And I’m certain she isn’t having sex elsewhere) If any ladies do this themselves and could shed some light on it that would be great. Or males in a similar position to me. Thanks "

I'm in a similar situation. I think it's OK for any wife to do anything that makes her feel good. She may just be bored and unsatisfied by you (relating to my own experience) so why shouldn't she explore a little?

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By *iscretion Assured OP Man
6 days ago

Cardiff

Yes I get that. And I totally trust her but if I don’t give her what she wants is it likely that she may stray at some point?

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By *ympho6969Woman
6 days ago

glasgow

For women, especially in relationships, foreplay is more than just foreplay.

It's taking your share of rhe mental and physical load. I don't mean doing the dishes once in a while and expecting sex cos you did it.

I'm talking systematic changes, that last. When was the last time you 2 had a date night, or night out? When did you last complement her expecting nothing in return? Do you help around the house, do the shopping? Do your fair share with the kids?

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By *eus n EuropaCouple
6 days ago

Derby

"Yes I get that. And I totally trust her but if I don’t give her what she wants is it likely that she may stray at some point? "

Is this not what your doing tho.

Having a single guy profile is also straying

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By *ympho6969Woman
6 days ago

glasgow

"Yes I get that. And I totally trust her but if I don’t give her what she wants is it likely that she may stray at some point? "

I find this a bizarre question considering your profile here is over a year old. Does she know you're here? Would she consider this straying as you called it?

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By *iscretion Assured OP Man
6 days ago

Cardiff

I come on here for a perve yes. And when I’m horny (some would say sexually frustrated) I do wank on cam. I don’t cheat. I have no issue with her reading the books in fact I quite like it. But I would have thought she would get fruity with me a bit more regularly if these books turn her on. That’s all.

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By *iscretion Assured OP Man
6 days ago

Cardiff

I think you rajase some valid points! Thanks I’ll take this on board

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By *neeyedwillieMan
6 days ago

Darlington

"I do like a good fuck book.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the book, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too 💜"

Men..take heed of this answer.

Because this is how lots of women think and how many men end up in sexless marriages

If its happening to.you...leave. you're better off alone.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
6 days ago

Carlisle usually

"I do like a good fuck book.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the book, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too 💜

Men..take heed of this answer.

Because this is how lots of women think and how many men end up in sexless marriages

If its happening to.you...leave. you're better off alone. "

Please do 💜

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By *neeyedwillieMan
6 days ago

Darlington

"I do like a good fuck book.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the book, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too 💜

Men..take heed of this answer.

Because this is how lots of women think and how many men end up in sexless marriages

If its happening to.you...leave. you're better off alone.

Please do 💜"

Point proven.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
6 days ago

Carlisle usually

"I do like a good fuck book.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the book, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too 💜

Men..take heed of this answer.

Because this is how lots of women think and how many men end up in sexless marriages

If its happening to.you...leave. you're better off alone.

Please do 💜

Point proven."

If your response to your partner not wanting sex with you is to want to leave. Just leave. Everyone will be happier.

Sometimes, I'm not in the mood. If that's ever an issue for my partners they're welcome to get the fuck out of my life rather than get resentful and fuck around 💜

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By *aughtyFreddoMan
6 days ago

Coventry

"For women, especially in relationships, foreplay is more than just foreplay.

It's taking your share of rhe mental and physical load. I don't mean doing the dishes once in a while and expecting sex cos you did it.

Good advice.

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By *igNick1381Man
6 days ago

BRIDGEND

Men watch porn, women read it

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By *r_magic_tongueMan
6 days ago

Hull

Guys it's not difficult. Ladies get turned on by mental images & fantasy scenarios. Be creative, tell her how you'd like to pleasure her, put ideas in her head and let her fantasise about it.

Don't just fuck, take your time teasing and pleasuring her with lots of foreplay. She should be having at least 1 orgasm before you even think about entering her.

If she knows she's going to be having good hot sex with orgasms, she'll be the 1 suggesting 'early nights', and that book will be abandoned

Put the work in and reap the rewards!

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By *igNick1381Man
6 days ago

BRIDGEND

"I do like a good fuck book.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the book, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too 💜

Men..take heed of this answer.

Because this is how lots of women think and how many men end up in sexless marriages

If its happening to.you...leave. you're better off alone. "

I do like a good porn film.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the film, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too

See how that sounds

Porn addiction affects everyone

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
6 days ago

Carlisle usually

"I do like a good fuck book.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the book, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too 💜

Men..take heed of this answer.

Because this is how lots of women think and how many men end up in sexless marriages

If its happening to.you...leave. you're better off alone.

I do like a good porn film.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the film, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too

See how that sounds

Porn addiction affects everyone "

Sounds like you've either had a hard day or ongoing relationship troubles.

I live alone and only share my bed with people who excite me.

If I'm reading a fuck book and then going to sleep it's usually because I'm crashing with someone I'm not interested in that way 💜

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By *ympho6969Woman
6 days ago

glasgow

"Men watch porn, women read it"

This is also very valid. Men go for visual, women's imaginations make the visual from books

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By *ummerSun_1Woman
5 days ago

York

"Guys it's not difficult. Ladies get turned on by mental images & fantasy scenarios. Be creative, tell her how you'd like to pleasure her, put ideas in her head and let her fantasise about it.

Don't just fuck, take your time teasing and pleasuring her with lots of foreplay. She should be having at least 1 orgasm before you even think about entering her.

If she knows she's going to be having good hot sex with orgasms, she'll be the 1 suggesting 'early nights', and that book will be abandoned

Put the work in and reap the rewards!"

I agree with most of this and Preys posts. Sex drives disappear when frustrations and resentments start. Share the load in the home, the physical and mental loads, ask her what she needs/ wants in life not just in sex and support that, get stuck into it. Plan and execute great dates, make time for her to get rest/ tlc time. When she's rested and feeling sexy in herself, then she might feel more ready to feel another human/you. Also read the book - see what you think of it, discuss it with her, could be good to see what she likes in it about him, again not just the sex bits.

The one thing I disagree with is that not all women need an orgasm before penetration but definitely give plenty of orgasms well before your done.

Also if you don't think what you do here is cheating, why do you hide it from her? Tell her and let her decide if it's a betrayal or not.

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By *umpkinandCakeCouple
5 days ago

Hitchin

"I come on here for a perve yes. And when I’m horny (some would say sexually frustrated) I do wank on cam. I don’t cheat. "

"Genuine professional male looking for a “partner in crime” to explore each others fantasies. Open to ideas, but thinking of a rendezvous every 4-6 weeks, where we play out fantasies we have discussed in message exchanges in the prior weeks."

You might not have slept with someone yet, but you clearly have intend to...

How much actual effort have you put into finding out what she is interested in, what her hangups are, what gets her in the mood.

Women, generalising here, tend toward needing more build up, more intellectual stimulation to get in the mood. Being relaxed, in a low pressure, low stress environment, and having some personal time/flirting/long foreplay ( it starts in the mind) will help get her in the mood.

Think about how much of your focus is on her pleasure and satisfaction and how much is on your own when you are initiating.

And if all that doesn't work, then she just isn't that into you.

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By *neeyedwillieMan
5 days ago

Darlington

"I do like a good fuck book.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the book, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too 💜

Men..take heed of this answer.

Because this is how lots of women think and how many men end up in sexless marriages

If its happening to.you...leave. you're better off alone.

Please do 💜

Point proven.

If your response to your partner not wanting sex with you is to want to leave. Just leave. Everyone will be happier.

Sometimes, I'm not in the mood. If that's ever an issue for my partners they're welcome to get the fuck out of my life rather than get resentful and fuck around 💜"

Why are you changing the narrative of what was being discussed?

The context was the OP being in a sexless marrige but finding his wife reading erotica. Your response was "if the human option next to me is less exciting..."

Nothing to do.with being in the mood or not, nor was anyone talking about a single occasion here. We are talking about a long period of time and your response implies "boring partner" ergo no sex for him.

So in that case...why hang around with someone who thinks so little.of you?

But you can assume other things if you like. It wont make them true.

Relationships take work...and if ones takin the other for a ride...time to leave.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
5 days ago

Carlisle usually

"Why are you changing the narrative of what was being discussed?

The context was the OP being in a sexless marrige but finding his wife reading erotica. Your response was "if the human option next to me is less exciting..."

So in that case...why hang around with someone who thinks so little.of you?

But you can assume other things if you like. It wont make them true.

Relationships take work...and if ones takin the other for a ride...time to leave.

Frankly I was being facetious in the original reaponse. Like I said, I don't share my bed with people who don't excite me. One of the reasons I don't ever intend to live with a partner again is so I don't ever end up tolerating that kind of situation. If I'm not excited by someone they're not appropriate companions for bed. I don't withhold sex from boring people, I simply don't have them in my life.

If the wife isn't interested there's likely a myriad of reasons. From the context given it's unlikely to be just having a bad day. And with a partner that's been on here behind her back for so long it's unlikely either side is putting much into the actual relationship at this point. So the best thing to do probably is leave 💜

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By *ervent X KissMan
5 days ago

Portsmouth

My partner of 10 years reads porn novels by the truckload and always has done, never brought any of that knowledge into our lives though, which is odd as if I’d seen a new /different position on porn I’d want to experiment!

We’ve had date/hotel nights but there’s never any moments as like the Op I can’t stand to take the rejection and moreover she’s the only woman I’ve ever met that literally NAGS for a fucking. I’ve tried extending foreplay and asking to fulfill her needs before intercourse but honestly the nagging and her desperation for me to fuck her is off putting. She’s intelligent knows how desperate I seek the wantoness of a woman; I love to kiss and would do anything for a decent kiss.

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By *isfun2023Couple
5 days ago

wakefield

"I do like a good fuck book.

If the human option next to me is less exciting than the book, I'm rolling over to sleep instead too 💜"

So you have any recommendations

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By *iss KinkWoman
5 days ago

North West

"Yes I get that. And I totally trust her but if I don’t give her what she wants is it likely that she may stray at some point?

Is this not what your doing tho.

Having a single guy profile is also straying "

Exactly this. Double standards!

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By *iss DevilWoman
5 days ago

Bedford

"Guys it's not difficult. Ladies get turned on by mental images & fantasy scenarios. Be creative, tell her how you'd like to pleasure her, put ideas in her head and let her fantasise about it.

Don't just fuck, take your time teasing and pleasuring her with lots of foreplay. She should be having at least 1 orgasm before you even think about entering her.

If she knows she's going to be having good hot sex with orgasms, she'll be the 1 suggesting 'early nights', and that book will be abandoned

Put the work in and reap the rewards!"

Exactly this! We need our brains stimulated before our bodies can be.

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By *iss DevilWoman
5 days ago

Bedford

"I come on here for a perve yes. And when I’m horny (some would say sexually frustrated) I do wank on cam. I don’t cheat. I have no issue with her reading the books in fact I quite like it. But I would have thought she would get fruity with me a bit more regularly if these books turn her on. That’s all. "

Some people would consider even just having a profile on a swingers site cheating as it creates possibility of "straying". Wanking on cam, for others to see and maybe get off on it, that would be yet another level.

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By *iss KinkWoman
5 days ago

North West

Your profile says you are looking to cheat?

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By *ympho6969Woman
5 days ago

glasgow

Your profile says you are looking to cheat? "

Don't worry, most of us pounted out double standard of this post and he ran away, tail between his legs

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By *rdere OpusCouple
5 days ago

Brum - ish

Is it possible she’s found that you have a profile on here? If she’s suspects she’s being cheated on, it’s not exactly conducive to a healthy shared sex life.

Or as others have said, does it feel like an equal relationship? One where she has mental and physical energy to feel attractive, where she feels desired by you and it’s clear you’re attracted to her (and not the women in the Fab chat rooms)?

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By *lla_eastWoman
5 days ago

Manchester

Says the man with a fab profile looking to hook up every 4-6 weeks.

The audacity of men

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By *eus n EuropaCouple
5 days ago

Derby

Possible he's put this on the wrong forum section and actually intended to put in Stories and Fantasies

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By *estinysswingersCouple
5 days ago

Worsley

Usually the opposite for me. Wife is reading a dirty book, gets horny and won’t take no for an answer.

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By *utdoorfun7474Couple
5 days ago

armagh

"Usually the opposite for me. Wife is reading a dirty book, gets horny and won’t take no for an answer. "

lol. That’s how it is

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By *lanenakedMan
5 days ago

near you

Works both ways go and watch some porn .. when she raises her eyebrows have it out with her .. if there's isn't some progress id likely split and move on esp if you aren't married and no kids ..🤷‍♂️👍

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
5 days ago

Central

Who doesn't deserve to explore sexual fantasies and titillation? I have a very elderly relative who really enjoys the most raunchy sexual literature. She almost certainly masterbates but that's beside the point. She gets a lot of her sexual satisfaction from her imagination, as she reads and imagines, without needing the physical engagement that others do. She's certainly been a very active sexual participant through her adult life, including enjoying swinging. We can often like and pursue multiple things in life.

The beauty of reading and erotica, is that it can be the perfect me-time where there's no need to have to please someone else. You don't potentially need a lot of energy either, as long as your eyes can remain open. My elderly relative is a little frail and has some disabilities. But fair play to her, she's getting the enjoyment she wants, in a manner that's amenable to her circumstances, during her latter days on this planet.

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By *lowercandyWoman
5 days ago

Lancashire

If you're both reading/she's reading in bed, have you ever asked what she's reading?

If she mentions sex but it's not happening why.. is that because you were expecting her to carry through and you just waited?

You say she is flirty but do you flirt back, pay compliments or randomly kiss her or hug her?

These are the questions that come to be from your post.

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By *WBiOnlyCoupleCouple
5 days ago

St Helens

"Yes I get that. And I totally trust her but if I don’t give her what she wants is it likely that she may stray at some point? "

This is called projection, OP. You are projecting your own thoughts and feelings about your sexless marriage onto your wife, and assuming she will do the same as you and go and cheat.

I hope she does btw. I hope she finds someone who she wants to shag morning noon and night.

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By *WBiOnlyCoupleCouple
5 days ago

St Helens

I'd consider it cheating if it were being kept secret. Me and Mr met through fab, so it never needed to be brought up, but my ex I was with for 8 years, if he'd said to me "I want to go and have a look at that fabswingers website cam rooms" id have helped him set the webcam up 😂 100% never would have questioned it or suspected he was doing anything other than what he'd told me.

However, if he'd kept it a secret, particular if he'd joined fab during our relationship, that would be different and not a chance would I believe it was just to wank over the cams.

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By *rmrssmithuk1Couple
5 days ago

Southampton

Guys it’s not that deep, these dark romance books make fifty shades look like Mary Poppins, just because us ladies read them doesn’t mean we want it translated to the bedroom…it’s escapism. Most women don’t necessarily like watching porn because you compare yourselves to the people on screen. Reading the books means the characters can be any shape they want. Reading these books does not mean we want that IRL. My husband knows I read them but is no way threatened by them and nor should he be. Get her to read you a paragraph and open a line of communication you’ll be surprised by the results 😘

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By *iddle ManMan
4 days ago

Walsall

Reading all these makes me remember why I am single

From a male point of view here.

Sure, the guy can help out and put her needs first but I bet he still isn't going to be getting any.

Plus, what about the guys needs? The op might be doing all that already, probably the reason he's on the site.

One last one, she is probably getting her excitement from somewhere else, maybe not physically but mentally. A work colleague, a friend or a single guy on a website.

It works both ways, how would you feel op if she was on here as a single woman. She's allowed her word porn, just as you are allowed your watch of filth too.

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By *ancs married coupleCouple
4 days ago

Silverdale

My wife reads these filthy books too! It's just escapism that's all. Ask her if she would like to role play any of the scenarios she's read about! That can ignite the spark again. Good luck

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By *eyeYCouple
4 days ago

Nr Leicester

Read some of these myself, definitely not a case of being bored with D!!

He asked me openly what appealed in the stories and did feel a little insecure regarding the type of guy's feature in them.

But we're very truthful in our communication, he simply introduced a the scenarios I found erotic like CNC, forced orgasms, objectifation, sensory deprivation, among others and that itch gets scratched every time I want something a little different.

Frankly he checks in with me and on the use of either safe word play is dialed down or stops.

Till then he doesn't hold back.

Haven't felt the need to read for a few years now 🤣😈

Basically trust and honesty, without accusations.. As has been said she reads erotica and you're on here as a single guy. Both equally guilty of the situation as I read. Good luck x

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By *lanenakedMan
3 days ago

near you

"Yes I get that. And I totally trust her but if I don’t give her what she wants is it likely that she may stray at some point?

This is called projection, OP. You are projecting your own thoughts and feelings about your sexless marriage onto your wife, and assuming she will do the same as you and go and cheat.

I hope she does btw. I hope she finds someone who she wants to shag morning noon and night."

Typical feminist man hater response .. FFS. If she's no interest in sex with him why doesn't she show some respect and split from him instead of humiliating him. God this female entitlement is rife on here. These things work both ways.

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By *ony444888Man
3 days ago

Bridgend

I'm the opposite end of the scale. Wife reads these a lot last 12 months. Always been very fun. Deifnetly ramped it up a notch since

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By *oan of DArcCouple
3 days ago

Glasgow

"Yes I get that. And I totally trust her but if I don’t give her what she wants is it likely that she may stray at some point?

This is called projection, OP. You are projecting your own thoughts and feelings about your sexless marriage onto your wife, and assuming she will do the same as you and go and cheat.

I hope she does btw. I hope she finds someone who she wants to shag morning noon and night.

__________________________

Interesting response. It's the OP who's complaining, not his wife, she may be perfectly happy with her life, he doesn't appear to especially since he has a membership here.

Btw the poster you responded to may well have been the male of the couple.

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By *antasticmrfucsMan
3 days ago

Penzance

Married man who uses his phone to try and physically cheat on his wife and get aroused, is upset that she uses phone to mentally get aroused.

That attitude is probably the source of your marriage issues.

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By *aramelChocolatecoupleCouple
2 days ago

Surrey

"Married man who uses his phone to try and physically cheat on his wife and get aroused, is upset that she uses phone to mentally get aroused.

That attitude is probably the source of your marriage issues. "

Round of applause.

OP, you are absolutely hypocrite!

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By *umpkinandCakeCouple
2 days ago

Hitchin

Entitlement to read a book and not have your husband who has told you he was monogamous, cheat on you?

Yeah! Women these days.. so entitled, I mean, the absolute GAUL to expect their husbands who made vows to stick to them

Or was it the part where he decides its ok to cheat because he believes he is entitled to her body and if she doesn't give it he is entitled to seek out other women to use for his pleasure elsewhere?

Probably not that entitlement bit...

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