FabSwingers.com forum: Not to answer messages

By *ustus696969 OP Couple
over a year ago

Southampton

Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested?

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By *quirtyfun69Couple
over a year ago

Burnley

We have done this a few times, saves any hassle

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Not rude at all op, no reply is a clear no thanks.

I delete most of my messages because they haven't read my profile.

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By *ayfantasiserMan
over a year ago

Nottingham/Derby

It can be a bit of a confidence knock to begin with, especially when it’s a tailored message with some thought to it that gets binned.

But then you remember the sheer volume of messages that profile must get and it makes sense. I just think there’s no point getting mardy. It does help when an account states that a delete means a polite ‘no thanks’ but even if it doesn’t, I now just shrug it off and leave alone.

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By *ootnootboopCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

If a message is not a cut and paste job, or consists of more than one sentence, then we will typically respond. Even if it's a no thanks. Having said that, 9/10 messages we get don't read the profile, send a dick pic, and consist of one line of something along the lines of "OMFG fuck me now, slut". We don't reply to those!

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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

If it's clear that someone has put effort into a message I will often reply, even if it's a case that they clearly haven't read any of my profile because they've done something that I ask not to in a first message, when it's clear no effort has been put in I don't see why I should reply and not just delete/block, yes I block a lot.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
over a year ago

There and Here

"Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested? "

No. Is the fact they haven't responded not enough indication they're not interested?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found when I text back not for me sometimes they start then what's wrong with me so on

So it a hard one to say

But in the end if I like the look of someone I text them now as it's not a running Argument and then block hope that helps fun site keep it real lol

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

I delete some with no response.

I don't reply to profiles that have hidden themselves either- can't make a judgement if I'd like to interact.

Some don't take kindly to be told no thank you. For me it's a judgment call whether to or not.

I don't think it's rude, from my point of view I'd consider it easier to have no response than multiple messages saying no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/24 11:55:58]

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested? "

No not rude.

If someone reads and deletes a message I sent, it's fairly obvious that they are not interested.

I make a private note, and move on

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By *cnugatugMan
over a year ago

Chatham

I'd like to think I'd get a response back even if it's a no thanks I'm not on here to throw abuse if I get rejected rejection only builds character sure it stings but it also makes you a better person

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

This is covered in the site FAQ's - I wish more people would read them.

It is not considered rude not to reply to messages and a non-reply should be taken as a 'No, thank you'

Consider that some people on fab are inundated on a regular basis and simply do not have the time to dedicate to replying to every single message they get.

Many ladies receive hundreds of messages per day.

Would it really make you feel any better to receive such a reply?

Put it another way, do you contact all the local takeaways that drop their leaflets through your door simply to tell them that you're not interested?

No, I didn't think so

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By *ayfantasiserMan
over a year ago

Nottingham/Derby

Love the takeaway leaflets analogy! What a perfect way to put it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No I don't. Leaving aside the FAQ that say it isn't rude, none of us know what's going on in other people's life. Sometimes I'll answer every message because I have time and the head space at others I have so much going on that I simply have no capacity to respond to people.

I personally think it's best not to invest too much into fab interactions and not to take it too seriously

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

I don't like doing that, but sometimes needs must.Depends on the initial message content.

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Unless the message is really offensive or 2/3 words then I always send a brief reply.

I don’t think it’s rude to delete but our filters are pretty tight so we’re not swamped with messages anyway

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By *ojo2joWoman
over a year ago

Penclawdd

"Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested? "

Definitely not rude. It says in the FAQs ‘no reply, not interested’.

As threads have said previously, if you reply you open yourself up to abuse or a barrage of further messages.

Eg. ‘Thanks for the message but no thank you’

‘Why?’

‘Unfortunately, you’re not my type’

‘What is your type?’

It goes on

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By *hrimper36Couple
over a year ago

Central France dept 36

Your thread op and it’s three hours old and you haven’t replied to a single post on your thread.

Do you think you are rude op or are you just busy.

Nope it’s not rude at all.

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By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington

"Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested? "
i always think its rude not to reply but also think maybe we need another button we can press saying sorry but no thanks between "reply save block sender mark unread"

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By *andN2Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested? "

Taken from the site FAQs…

There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

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By *hloe_TTV/TS
over a year ago

Nottingham

"If a message is not a cut and paste job, or consists of more than one sentence, then we will typically respond. Even if it's a no thanks. Having said that, 9/10 messages we get don't read the profile, send a dick pic, and consist of one line of something along the lines of "OMFG fuck me now, slut". We don't reply to those!"

Agreed

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I don't reply if I'm not interested as messaging stops future filters from working.

For example, if I messaged every single male back that messages me then one day I decide to block single males, all the men I've previously replied to just to say no thanks can still message me again.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested? "

In general it's not rude and quite understandable especially when it comes to ladies or perhaps couples being flooded by messages from men.

When it's couples messaging couples I think it is a touch less understandable (as far less of those messages) and in general not such a good idea. The couples world is lot smaller and chance you night meet at some point at a club, party, gathering etc. I've had people do to me and partner in relation to something specific and doesn't feel great. I've had one couple do this twice at which point gave up. A few months later they message us about something and when I pointed out they didn't reply before completely oblivious. At that point we've already lost interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We delete most messages from single men unread unless they provide the catch word at the end of the profile, then its a polite no if we aren't interested since they made the effort.

There was only so many times we could politely reply to "hey" before it got tiresome.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

No. There's no better guidance other than to move on, once you've sent a message. The Fab norm is that no reply = no interest.

People have unpredictable inbox loads, as well as lives outside of fab. Concerns about being seen as 'rude' etc should not be in our minds. Spread your interests wider and let go

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

No reply = no interest.

It's pretty straightforward

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By *hawn ScottMan
over a year ago

london Brixton

Well when reply to the same guy 6 weeks in a row that you're not gay and no it isn't because I haven't met him yet.

It's time to ignore and block

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By *avenTinaCouple
over a year ago

Southport

"Not rude at all op, no reply is a clear no thanks.

I delete most of my messages because they haven't read my profile. "

Same here

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Worcester

You never know if saying “no thanks” will get you called a fat slag or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried to message back but its relentless, still feels rude to delete but just not the time x

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

It's kinder to block and delete a message if your not interested. This is the least kind place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, it's your profile. Do what you like!

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge

I would think as a couple or single Fem you dont have any option. Replying to them all would be nigh on impossible. if you scan most, read a few, reply occasionally, be kind and block when necessary you are pretty much in the top percentile or two. ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wrestle with this all the time but there’s no right answer.

My profile clearly states what I’m not looking for and that I won’t reply if there’s no attraction.

It makes no difference. People still message so I block and delete.

If someone sends a well written message I’ll take the time to respond and say they’re not my type. 9 times out of 10 I receive abuse.

Sadly the first option is the easiest.

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

"Your thread op and it’s three hours old and you haven’t replied to a single post on your thread.

Do you think you are rude op or are you just busy.

Nope it’s not rude at all.

Brilliantly put

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By *orn-in-69Couple
over a year ago

Shipley

If they read our profile and use the key phrase most people get at least a response. But they need to put in at least more than Hi! Especially if they have a virtually empty profile. (Mr)

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By *ustus696969 OP Couple
over a year ago

Southampton

This makes us chuckle it’s a general chat on what other people’s opinion is on this matter

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By *lueLotusWoman
over a year ago

the wilderness

"I wrestle with this all the time but there’s no right answer.

My profile clearly states what I’m not looking for and that I won’t reply if there’s no attraction.

It makes no difference. People still message so I block and delete.

If someone sends a well written message I’ll take the time to respond and say they’re not my type. 9 times out of 10 I receive abuse.

Sadly the first option is the easiest."

This.

I have a lot of filters up so I get mostly very well written and thoughtful messages but it's still impossible to reply to them all. Since I uploaded a photo today I've gotten 60+ messages. It's similar or even more messages for many women on here.

I feel bad about it, but I'm not taking the flak for the ratio issue. It's not on to take it out on us women who are on here

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

Unless you want to employ a PA, only reply to the messages that most interest you. It is handy to delete them as a) reduces your inbox

b) let's the man know you're not interested. I then tend to make a private note to not contact them ever again. I'd say that half my messages are unread or saved as unread

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

"It's kinder to block and delete a message if your not interested. This is the least kind place."

I used to favour being blocked, to mean not interested. It is the most expedient for all. It now makes me feel a little shit about myself

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

If someone sends a well written message I’ll take the time to respond and say they’re not my type. 9 times out of 10 I receive abuse.

Sadly the first option is the easiest."

Well that sucks.... And not in a nice way. Bullies need to be called out. Name them in your updates for all to see

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By *ouple24669Couple
over a year ago

Brechin

Trouble is many people don’t take it like that and will continue to message if you respond to them thinking somehow they can change your mind.

There is also the time issue. If you respond to a message at least 90% of the time they will message again and if you end up sending a few messages that’s 2 or 3 minutes or more dealing with 1 person you said no to and even if you only got 20 messages that’s over an hour……sorry not doing that.

And there is also the point that as soon as you reply any filters you decide to use they have bypassed them because you have messaged them.

So for us sorry, it’s not rude its just practical…. it’s just a straight delete and if you continue then it’s a block. No offence meant and none should be taken.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

If someone sends a well written message I’ll take the time to respond and say they’re not my type. 9 times out of 10 I receive abuse.

Sadly the first option is the easiest.

Well that sucks.... And not in a nice way. Bullies need to be called out. Name them in your updates for all to see"

I think naming and shaming is against Fab rules as easy for people to make things up. Best if everybody just reports such messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's kinder to block and delete a message if your not interested. This is the least kind place.

I used to favour being blocked, to mean not interested. It is the most expedient for all. It now makes me feel a little shit about myself"

Can I ask out of interest what you would prefer?

I can’t imagine it would make anyone feel better if they received a string of “You’re not my type” messages.

Personally I’d prefer if someone simply blocked me .

There really is no easy way of rejecting people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I think every message should be replied to with a positive response of I will add you to my list. Once that has been done said recipient adds you to their very long list and works their way through it.

Once your turn cums up you get a time, date and place then bingo you meet up…..unless they have not here to shag the entire site on their profile.

Just a thought, just a thought

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By *erlins5Man
over a year ago

South Fife

I don't think it's rude to delete a message that you dishy even ask for. I do send messages now and again but although it is nice to get a reply I never expect one as the person I messaged isn't expecting that either so there is no obligation.

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By *heonixrising500Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

I reply to all messages even if not interested

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By *wesomecoupleCouple
over a year ago

east of england

Sometimes we just have way to many to be able to answer all messages especially if there from 100s of miles away

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

I've never understood this thing where guys sulk about not getting replies or not getting laid.

Try writing to customer service on Tinder with those complaints.

Just grow up. I mean really. No one should have to explain this.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"I've never understood this thing where guys sulk about not getting replies or not getting laid.

Try writing to customer service on Tinder with those complaints.

Just grow up. I mean really. No one should have to explain this. "

Just to be clear the OP was a couple and they weren't sulking or complaining about not getting laid

Some couples, including ones where the ladies takes the lead, are just trying to understand rather than sulking.

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

"I've never understood this thing where guys sulk about not getting replies or not getting laid.

Try writing to customer service on Tinder with those complaints.

Just grow up. I mean really. No one should have to explain this.

Just to be clear the OP was a couple and they weren't sulking or complaining about not getting laid

Some couples, including ones where the ladies takes the lead, are just trying to understand rather than sulking. "

Yes. I could have been clearer.

OP shouldn't have to worry about not replying or deleting messages unread.

And I don't think they would if so many guys didn't complain about it.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"I've never understood this thing where guys sulk about not getting replies or not getting laid.

Try writing to customer service on Tinder with those complaints.

Just grow up. I mean really. No one should have to explain this.

Just to be clear the OP was a couple and they weren't sulking or complaining about not getting laid

Some couples, including ones where the ladies takes the lead, are just trying to understand rather than sulking.

Yes. I could have been clearer.

OP shouldn't have to worry about not replying or deleting messages unread.

And I don't think they would if so many guys didn't complain about it."

You've still got the wrong end of the stick

OP was wondering about their own messages to others not being replied to and deleted - for example them sending to another couple and it not being replied too. Come on cut single men some slack - not everything is to be blamed on them

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

"I've never understood this thing where guys sulk about not getting replies or not getting laid.

Try writing to customer service on Tinder with those complaints.

Just grow up. I mean really. No one should have to explain this.

Just to be clear the OP was a couple and they weren't sulking or complaining about not getting laid

Some couples, including ones where the ladies takes the lead, are just trying to understand rather than sulking.

Yes. I could have been clearer.

OP shouldn't have to worry about not replying or deleting messages unread.

And I don't think they would if so many guys didn't complain about it.

You've still got the wrong end of the stick

I'm hardly blaming everything on them

I am one.

I stand by my point. But I concede that it is in wrong thread. I misread the OP

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"I've never understood this thing where guys sulk about not getting replies or not getting laid.

Try writing to customer service on Tinder with those complaints.

Just grow up. I mean really. No one should have to explain this.

Just to be clear the OP was a couple and they weren't sulking or complaining about not getting laid

Some couples, including ones where the ladies takes the lead, are just trying to understand rather than sulking.

Yes. I could have been clearer.

OP shouldn't have to worry about not replying or deleting messages unread.

And I don't think they would if so many guys didn't complain about it.

You've still got the wrong end of the stick

I'm hardly blaming everything on them

I am one.

I stand by my point. But I concede that it is in wrong thread. I misread the OP "

lol well I guess your original point is still valid then - OP should stop sulking about not getting replies or not getting laid and just grow up and they shouldn't need this explaining to them

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

"I've never understood this thing where guys sulk about not getting replies or not getting laid.

Try writing to customer service on Tinder with those complaints.

Just grow up. I mean really. No one should have to explain this.

Just to be clear the OP was a couple and they weren't sulking or complaining about not getting laid

Some couples, including ones where the ladies takes the lead, are just trying to understand rather than sulking.

Yes. I could have been clearer.

OP shouldn't have to worry about not replying or deleting messages unread.

And I don't think they would if so many guys didn't complain about it.

You've still got the wrong end of the stick

I'm hardly blaming everything on them

I am one.

I stand by my point. But I concede that it is in wrong thread. I misread the OP

lol well I guess your original point is still valid then - OP should stop sulking about not getting replies or not getting laid and just grow up and they shouldn't need this explaining to them

To be fair. If OP was a single guy there definitely wouldn't have been so many polite replies

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By *ightMountainMan
over a year ago

Basingstoke

As someone who's quite forgetful I find it really helps if I message a profile and if they don't want to communicate then they simply delete mine with no reply rather than leave it just on read.

I can then block the profile so I don't keep seeing them in search results etc and won't be bothering them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is covered in the site FAQ's - I wish more people would read them.

It is not considered rude not to reply to messages and a non-reply should be taken as a 'No, thank you'

Consider that some people on fab are inundated on a regular basis and simply do not have the time to dedicate to replying to every single message they get.

Many ladies receive hundreds of messages per day.

Would it really make you feel any better to receive such a reply?

Put it another way, do you contact all the local takeaways that drop their leaflets through your door simply to tell them that you're not interested?

No, I didn't think so"

This

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By *londebiguyMan
over a year ago

Southport

"Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested? "

I find it very rude.

But with social media And the way life is now, it seems people see it as ok.

I think it's dropping standards in society personally.

I would not ignore someone speaking to me in life do I wouldnt in a message.

I reply even if it's a polite no.

I'm sure lots of people, especially single men, don't expect every message to go positively.

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge

"I reply to all messages even if not interested"

I think thats completely up to you (and IMHO a nice thing to do.) its always up to the person receiving an unsolicited message to choose how to respond. If I responded and got abuse I’d block in an instant.

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By *ellaboo400Couple
over a year ago

Gorebridge

I hate ignoring people so I reply then we end up chatting and before I know what's happening I've got a grandad thinking he's getting somewhere so I'm now thinking that being ignorant is probably best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate ignoring people so I reply then we end up chatting and before I know what's happening I've got a grandad thinking he's getting somewhere so I'm now thinking that being ignorant is probably best "

From my experience it is best to ignore....cos if I reply they're not for me or not my type (yes I have a type I'm attracted to.... imagine that

)

Anyway..,. a NO Thanks can lead to Why Not & when they realise they're not getting anywhere with me they'll start firing unnecessary uncalled for abuse....

Then I realise.... I've really dodged a bullet after receiving this unprovoked uncalled abuse....

So yes.... Ignoring is the best option for me unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends for me .. if the message is a nice polite one and they’ve read my profile then yes I’ll be decent enough to respond and be respectful but I have no problem ignoring and just blocking the random shite senders.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

From my experience it is best to ignore....cos if I reply they're not for me or not my type (yes I have a type I'm attracted to.... imagine that

)

Anyway..,. a NO Thanks can lead to Why Not & when they realise they're not getting anywhere with me they'll start firing unnecessary uncalled for abuse....

Then I realise.... I've really dodged a bullet after receiving this unprovoked uncalled abuse....

So yes.... Ignoring is the best option for me unfortunately."

This is sadly the situation nearly all of my F friends find themselves in - called gorgeous, sexy, lovely figure blah blah until they say no thank you, you’re not for me… and then the return torrent of abuse and insults.

Delete, don’t engage, block if warranted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete, don’t engage, block if warranted. "

Yes this unfortunately.

Every now and again I let my guard down and start chatting to someone when they’ve sent a decent opening message . If it becomes apparent it’s not going any further I’ll be honest.

Nine times out of ten it’s not well received.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete, don’t engage, block if warranted.

Yes this unfortunately.

Every now and again I let my guard down and start chatting to someone when they’ve sent a decent opening message . If it becomes apparent it’s not going any further I’ll be honest.

Nine times out of ten it’s not well received."

Yes some men have great difficulty accepting a NO....I do wonder & shudder to think if they can't accept a No in a dm & become abusive & nasty....What would they be like on a physical meet....

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By *nnandElleCouple
over a year ago

Brackley

"You never know if saying “no thanks” will get you called a fat slag or not."

Always found that a bit odd - surely saying no is the opposite of being a slag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes some men have great difficulty accepting a NO....I do wonder & shudder to think if they can't accept a No in a dm & become abusive & nasty....What would they be like on a physical meet....

Absolutely! A bullet dodged for sure!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not rude at all op, no reply is a clear no thanks.

I delete most of my messages because they haven't read my profile. "

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my experience it is best to ignore....cos if I reply they're not for me or not my type (yes I have a type I'm attracted to.... imagine that

)

Anyway..,. a NO Thanks can lead to Why Not & when they realise they're not getting anywhere with me they'll start firing unnecessary uncalled for abuse....

Then I realise.... I've really dodged a bullet after receiving this unprovoked uncalled abuse....

So yes.... Ignoring is the best option for me unfortunately.

Delete, don’t engage, block if warranted. "

And this.

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By *haggydogMan
over a year ago

Brooklands/London

It's up to the receiver. I rarely message anyone on here these days. But when I do, if I don't get a response. That's fine.

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

Can I ask out of interest what you would prefer?

I can’t imagine it would make anyone feel better if they received a string of “You’re not my type” messages.

Personally I’d prefer if someone simply blocked me .

There really is no easy way of rejecting people."

I prefer the message to be deleted. I then make a private note to not bother them again.

So when women do a delete all, or take little notice when they are deleting, don't moan when you don't hear from reasonable men. We both have one chance. It's the idiots who keep messaging when you don't want them to

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By *illen5Man
over a year ago

Bath

Anyway..,. a NO Thanks can lead to Why Not & when they realise they're not getting anywhere with me they'll start firing unnecessary uncalled for abuse....

Then I realise.... I've really dodged a bullet after receiving this unprovoked uncalled abuse....

If anyone says "sorry you're not my type" , only a fucking idiot asks "why not?" to which, the retort is "because you're not"

If they're so brain dead to ask "why not?" , then that's the time to block.

I used to say "thank you for taking the time and trouble of letting me know"

Cant be bothered now.

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By *lueLotusWoman
52 weeks ago

the wilderness

So I tried to take some of ye're advice and spent half an hour looking at and deleting some messages, could only get through about 40 in that time. Hardly made a dent.

And some of the guys messaged back anyway within 24 hours!

You could say now I know for sure about those ones but I already deleted them so total waste of my time to delete them again.

No answer means no.

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By *andPextraCouple
52 weeks ago

North West

If someone has taken the trouble to write a message we try to reply.

Obvious exceptions are the ones you can read without opening or clearly generic.

Thankfully in terms of the no thanks but why brigade we’ve only had one who seemed genuinely staggered we had said no.

As another poster said it did start to descend into pointless message pong so we just stopped and hvent heard since.

I’d like to think most people are sensible enough to acknowledge that this site is all about choice and not every message will lead to success.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

I delete 99% of messages without opening them. It saves it coming up that I've messaged them. If they messaged back it shows we've not spoken before

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
52 weeks ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

"Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested? "

No. FaQs state, no reply, not interested. Simples

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By *jlondon78Man
52 weeks ago

Suffolk

I think its rude and shows people are not genuine when they cant be bothered to reply with a simple no thanks

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By *uliette500Woman
52 weeks ago

Hull

"I think its rude and shows people are not genuine when they cant be bothered to reply with a simple no thanks "

As I've stated previously replying to someone you are not interested in stops future filters from working if you change your settings.

Personally I'd rather keep filters intact for if I need them in the future.

Not to mention the abuse that often follows a polite no thanks.

Last week I decided I'd have a day where I did reply with a nice no thanks message when I got messages, I got abuse on the second one I sent so went back to not replying.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

We reply “no thanks” and block. Not sure if some men will think that’s rude too.

I think some people would rather moan about a non reply being rude than accept the fact that it’s just a “no thanks”.

Just keep doing whatever suits you. L x

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By *ndisMan
52 weeks ago

Liverpool

When you sign up it says take a no reply as a no thanks. So if I message someone and they delete, I have my answer, I will block them so I don't message again. My profile clearly says I can't accommodate, still get messages asking if I can, so if I get those messages I delete them, as they haven't read my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

All too common behaviour, sadly

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By *igtittybbwWoman
52 weeks ago

Portishead

personally I used to answer messages but even when I said no they would either keep messaging or get nasty. now I just delete which feels wrong but its best.

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Deleting without answering is fine nobody on here has an obligation to reply .

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By (user no longer on site)
52 weeks ago

Just delete and move on I know what people think then

Being read but no answer you don't know either way

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By *yn123Man
51 weeks ago

Caerphilly

I would prefer women to delete if they are not interested. That is unequivocal and speaks volumes. Merely seeing 'Read' on my Sent list is galling. On one hand, she might be considering, or be offline a few days, or I have sent a message to someone who has a profile saying they've not been online for weeks. I am wary of sending a second message if no response to the first, and don't mind a full Sent box, but delete 'deleted' if you know what I mean. I also accept there must be hundred of male profiles to one female. I didn't realise just how big the imbalance was, until I Looked at See Who is Near!Dozens, almost next door, apparently and one has to get to Page 2 or 3 to find a woman within a hundred miles. I still like Fab though. Even with no messages or meets, there is so much more to enjoy here than on Badoo, say? Yes, guilty as charged.

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By *reative-mindMan
51 weeks ago

Exeter

If I have a message just deleted then I block said person, mainly so I don't message them again and waste both our time.

I've currently got a message that i crafted a sent 6 months ago that hadn't been read, I've mainly kept it now just to see how long it'll take to be deleted.

Basically I and others don't owe anyone anything on here so play by what ever rules and standards you would in everyday life, as a single bloke who is trying to do it the right way you learn that quite quickly on here.

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By *mall.sausageMan
51 weeks ago

Rochdale

I always reply but then again i dont get 100s like people on here

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman
51 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I rarely reply and don't care if its rude or not no one is entitled to a reply

When I did reply I was called fat slag so prefer to just ignore

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By *ess n BenCouple
51 weeks ago

Didcot

Ben and I will always reply to a well written message

But if it’s obviously clear they have not read our profile the message just gets binned

And the ones that really winds us up, and I am sure you all get them are the ones which say hi or how are you definitely get binned and most get blocked

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By *enelope2UWoman
51 weeks ago

Fife

"Not rude at all op, no reply is a clear no thanks.

I delete most of my messages because they haven't read my profile. "

Exactly this... My profile says the warning it's says my interests do not reading and sending a copy paste or message not for me, means it's a simple delete..

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By *enelope2UWoman
51 weeks ago

Fife

"I think its rude and shows people are not genuine when they cant be bothered to reply with a simple no thanks "

What's rude is sending "so when can we fuck...messages expecting .."hey Hun how's tomorrow at 3?

What's rude is sending a copy and paste message to every profile... My friend and I are both in fab we see the copy paste guys

What's rude is not even reading a profile but wanting a response to a blank profile.

Maybe you'll READ this thread and understand who's really rude in this topic..but doubt you are genuine or actually care to be better....

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By *dinburghWomanWoman
51 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested?

Definitely not rude. It says in the FAQs ‘no reply, not interested’.

As threads have said previously, if you reply you open yourself up to abuse or a barrage of further messages.

Eg. ‘Thanks for the message but no thank you’

‘Why?’

‘Unfortunately, you’re not my type’

‘What is your type?’

It goes on

This, you’re wrong no matter what you do,, reply no thanks and you get above, don’t reply and you get another message asking why you haven’t replied.

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By *ojo2joWoman
51 weeks ago

Penclawdd

Unfortunately, it’s in the site FAQs that no reply means not interested.

When you receive 200 messages a day it really is impossible to reply.

I tried when I first started but a) reached my message quota b) got a temporary ban for ‘spamming’ as I was sending copy and paste responses c) received a barrage of abuse and ‘why not?’ messages.

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By *otwifeHusband888Couple
51 weeks ago

Within touching distance

We felt rude deleting messages but when you log on and there's 100s of messages you can't possibly get through them. I also found when we tried to get back to people, they didn't have any patience and would send another message. Lol

As shallow as this will sound and i know it sounds bad but you end up looking at profile pics and messaging back based on that.

Is that bad?

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By *electableicecreamMan
51 weeks ago

The West

Just curious if people claiming they get hundreds of messages have their filters set up tight?

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By *ouples_EroticaXXXCouple
51 weeks ago

manchester

"Do you think it’s rude not to message back or just delete the messages so we or people know you’re not interested? "

No read the site FAQ.

It’s a perfectly legitimate response.

It’s mean NO! And people need to realise NO means no! You don’t need to give an explanation.

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By *ouples_EroticaXXXCouple
51 weeks ago

manchester

"Just curious if people claiming they get hundreds of messages have their filters set up tight?

They likely don’t. When we have our filters set right we get maybe 10 messages a week. When they are open it’s 10’s a day. If you advertise yourself via statuses, the number climbs.

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By *ojo2joWoman
51 weeks ago

Penclawdd

"Just curious if people claiming they get hundreds of messages have their filters set up tight?

As a single female who may be interested in single men or couples between 30 and 55 that’s still a lot of potential messages.

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By *ittle. BeaverWoman
51 weeks ago

Launceston

I've been on fab (on/off) for many years now. I've tried different approaches with being messaged. And by far the easiest approach is to ignore I'm afraid.

I don't have hard filters because it's nice when a forumite messages. And on rare occasions a great guy who I wouldn't have thought to contact, messages me.

In the past I've tried to be polite and reply. But quite honestly the amount of abuse, message ping pong is just annoying. By not replying I'm not fueling anything, and I don't get repeat messages that way!

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