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Gender…..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No doubt i will get some mocking for this one… but when it comes to questions about gender/ pronouns … who do you think is best to ask advice from? The ‘collective’? Google? Individuals?

Always wanting to learn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The individual.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

Depends what it is you want advice on, I guess. And what it is specifically you want to learn.

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire


"No doubt i will get some mocking for this one… but when it comes to questions about gender/ pronouns … who do you think is best to ask advice from? The ‘collective’? Google? Individuals?

Always wanting to learn "

You shouldn't get mocked for this, wanting to learn and asking for direction is absolutely the right way to go. But yeah, as previously said go the individual. And if in doubt, adopt a 'they' mentality when talking about them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you to those who have commented.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Ask the individual what pronouns they prefer.

For understanding of the whole gender pronouns issue, consult a gender affirming individual or website. Do not ask anything of "gender critical" individuals or groups, or of anyone with right wing or evangelical Christian leanings.

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By *itvclaireTV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

Definitely the individual.

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The individual

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By *elaxedsexyfun1Man
over a year ago

Raunds

Do you have a cock, or a pair of tits?

It's pretty simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you have a cock, or a pair of tits?

It's pretty simple."

Lady-boys, intersex, trans men and women who are going through surgery, seen plenty of men with man tits and a cock, also seen plenty of flat chested women with no cock... these are all scenarios where it's not quite as simple as you make it out

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By *ookie_and_NookieCouple
over a year ago

Kent


"Do you have a cock, or a pair of tits?

It's pretty simple."

It really isn’t.

C x

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport


"Do you have a cock, or a pair of tits?

It's pretty simple."

Both thanks, or at least getting there.

Call me what you want, I'm not too concerned but by the sounds of really don't bother I won't be interested. However, start intentionally upseting my freinds and I may turn nasty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Depends what it is you want advice on, I guess. And what it is specifically you want to learn."

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I'm not entirely sure what's being asked here.

As a principle I want to treat people with repect and dignity for who they are. I generally go with the approach of addressing people by the pronouns they look to represent unless they state otherwise. I'm not going to go around calling every one I meet in gender neutral terms. However when people appear more ambiguous in their gender representation its common sense for me enquire as to how they want to be addressed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm not entirely sure what's being asked here.

As a principle I want to treat people with repect and dignity for who they are. I generally go with the approach of addressing people by the pronouns they look to represent unless they state otherwise. I'm not going to go around calling every one I meet in gender neutral terms. However when people appear more ambiguous in their gender representation its common sense for me enquire as to how they want to be addressed.

"

Thanks

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By *riendly BiMan
over a year ago

h

For me there are only 2 genders and one race

There are males and females and we are all human.

A man might transition to a female and likewise a female to a male but then they have gone from one to another but still 2 genders. Everyone who says that their gender fluid is either gay, bi or curious about their sexuality. But when it comes down to it we are still either man or woman.

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge


"Do you have a cock, or a pair of tits?

It's pretty simple."

Not so sure about that.

It’s all contextual in my uninformed opinion but in the sex/swinging/ relationship space I’m guessing you would take your lead from the individual or at least use gender neutral language as a default.

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire


"For me there are only 2 genders and one race

There are males and females and we are all human.

A man might transition to a female and likewise a female to a male but then they have gone from one to another but still 2 genders. Everyone who says that their gender fluid is either gay, bi or curious about their sexuality. But when it comes down to it we are still either man or woman. "

Would love to see your research and credentials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me there are only 2 genders and one race

There are males and females and we are all human.

A man might transition to a female and likewise a female to a male but then they have gone from one to another but still 2 genders. Everyone who says that their gender fluid is either gay, bi or curious about their sexuality. But when it comes down to it we are still either man or woman. "

You do realise gender identity and sexual orientation are not related?

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire


"For me there are only 2 genders and one race

There are males and females and we are all human.

A man might transition to a female and likewise a female to a male but then they have gone from one to another but still 2 genders. Everyone who says that their gender fluid is either gay, bi or curious about their sexuality. But when it comes down to it we are still either man or woman.

You do realise gender identity and sexual orientation are not related?"

This seems to be the biggest stumbling point. Perhaps because at least within the public perception there was no distinct between sex, as it comes to defining gender or sexuality. Important forms for example; sex and sexual orientation, where sex is being used to identify gender.

Purely anecdotal suggestion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all for live and let live!

However, if you take a Male Dog to the Vets to have its nuts cut off, it is a still a Male Dog!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are all for live and let live!

However, if you take a Male Dog to the Vets to have its nuts cut off, it is a still a Male Dog!

"

Ah yes, the old "live and let live but" line

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire


"We are all for live and let live!

However, if you take a Male Dog to the Vets to have its nuts cut off, it is a still a Male Dog!

"

What a ridiculous analogy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where’s the popcorn emoji?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Where’s the popcorn emoji?"

I grabbed a burrito and drink emoji instead….

I didn’t intend for things to escalate…. I just wanted some pointers when messaging varied folk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where’s the popcorn emoji?

I grabbed a burrito and drink emoji instead….

I didn’t intend for things to escalate…. I just wanted some pointers when messaging varied folk "

If you're messaging someone surely you wouldn't need to address them as he or she? Just as "you".

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By *riendly BiMan
over a year ago

h


"Where’s the popcorn emoji?

I grabbed a burrito and drink emoji instead….

I didn’t intend for things to escalate…. I just wanted some pointers when messaging varied folk

If you're messaging someone surely you wouldn't need to address them as he or she? Just as "you". "

Or oi!

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By *riendly BiMan
over a year ago

h


"For me there are only 2 genders and one race

There are males and females and we are all human.

A man might transition to a female and likewise a female to a male but then they have gone from one to another but still 2 genders. Everyone who says that their gender fluid is either gay, bi or curious about their sexuality. But when it comes down to it we are still either man or woman.

You do realise gender identity and sexual orientation are not related?"

Of course I do but you are either a man or a woman. You are born a male or female. Whatever you choose to do with that then it’s totally up to you but you are still one of TWO GENDERS.

All this soppy nosed society bull crap with you can’t call them this or you have to say that is really doing my nut in.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham


"For me there are only 2 genders and one race

There are males and females and we are all human.

A man might transition to a female and likewise a female to a male but then they have gone from one to another but still 2 genders. Everyone who says that their gender fluid is either gay, bi or curious about their sexuality. But when it comes down to it we are still either man or woman.

You do realise gender identity and sexual orientation are not related?

Of course I do but you are either a man or a woman. You are born a male or female. Whatever you choose to do with that then it’s totally up to you but you are still one of TWO GENDERS.

All this soppy nosed society bull crap with you can’t call them this or you have to say that is really doing my nut in. "

I love that you correctly used gender neutral pronouns in a rant about people using gender neutral pronouns. It’s a really nice touch.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham


"Where’s the popcorn emoji?

I grabbed a burrito and drink emoji instead….

I didn’t intend for things to escalate…. I just wanted some pointers when messaging varied folk "

If someone describes themselves as a girl, call them a girl. If they describe themselves as a woman, call them a woman. If they don’t talk about their gender in their profile, don’t talk about their gender in early messages, and if in doubt, ask if they’re ok with you calling them a beautiful woman or whatever.

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By *onglegs888Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Ask the individual what pronouns they prefer.

For understanding of the whole gender pronouns issue, consult a gender affirming individual or website. Do not ask anything of "gender critical" individuals or groups, or of anyone with right wing or evangelical Christian leanings."

Do they exact opposite of this as this!!! Seek out a myriad of views/opinions… see what actual evidence supports those views/opinions then make an informed decision on how you wish to behave.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Where’s the popcorn emoji?

I grabbed a burrito and drink emoji instead….

I didn’t intend for things to escalate…. I just wanted some pointers when messaging varied folk

If someone describes themselves as a girl, call them a girl. If they describe themselves as a woman, call them a woman. If they don’t talk about their gender in their profile, don’t talk about their gender in early messages, and if in doubt, ask if they’re ok with you calling them a beautiful woman or whatever.

"

Noted

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Where’s the popcorn emoji?

I grabbed a burrito and drink emoji instead….

I didn’t intend for things to escalate…. I just wanted some pointers when messaging varied folk

If you're messaging someone surely you wouldn't need to address them as he or she? Just as "you". "

Depends how far into convo you are… and if they aren’t he or she ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scotlands government !!!

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge


"Ask the individual what pronouns they prefer.

For understanding of the whole gender pronouns issue, consult a gender affirming individual or website. Do not ask anything of "gender critical" individuals or groups, or of anyone with right wing or evangelical Christian leanings.

Do they exact opposite of this as this!!! Seek out a myriad of views/opinions… see what actual evidence supports those views/opinions then make an informed decision on how you wish to behave. "

Always better to come at it from all angles, one of the secrets of life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ask the individual what pronouns they prefer.

For understanding of the whole gender pronouns issue, consult a gender affirming individual or website. Do not ask anything of "gender critical" individuals or groups, or of anyone with right wing or evangelical Christian leanings.

Do they exact opposite of this as this!!! Seek out a myriad of views/opinions… see what actual evidence supports those views/opinions then make an informed decision on how you wish to behave. "

Or treat people with respect and address them how they want, not how you want. It'll hardly kill ya

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By *onglegs888Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Ask the individual what pronouns they prefer.

For understanding of the whole gender pronouns issue, consult a gender affirming individual or website. Do not ask anything of "gender critical" individuals or groups, or of anyone with right wing or evangelical Christian leanings.

Do they exact opposite of this as this!!! Seek out a myriad of views/opinions… see what actual evidence supports those views/opinions then make an informed decision on how you wish to behave.

Or treat people with respect and address them how they want, not how you want. It'll hardly kill ya"

Very true… like it wont kill you to look at all sources of info and viewpoints before making your decision on how you behave. For someone to say only look at the info that supports their view and ignore everything else is frankly verging on cult like behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ask the individual what pronouns they prefer.

For understanding of the whole gender pronouns issue, consult a gender affirming individual or website. Do not ask anything of "gender critical" individuals or groups, or of anyone with right wing or evangelical Christian leanings.

Do they exact opposite of this as this!!! Seek out a myriad of views/opinions… see what actual evidence supports those views/opinions then make an informed decision on how you wish to behave.

Or treat people with respect and address them how they want, not how you want. It'll hardly kill ya

Very true… like it wont kill you to look at all sources of info and viewpoints before making your decision on how you behave. For someone to say only look at the info that supports their view and ignore everything else is frankly verging on cult like behaviour. "

No-one else's viewpoint on the pronouns an individual chooses to use is relevant. To deliberately misgender someone isnt big or clever.

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By *onglegs888Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Ask the individual what pronouns they prefer.

For understanding of the whole gender pronouns issue, consult a gender affirming individual or website. Do not ask anything of "gender critical" individuals or groups, or of anyone with right wing or evangelical Christian leanings.

Do they exact opposite of this as this!!! Seek out a myriad of views/opinions… see what actual evidence supports those views/opinions then make an informed decision on how you wish to behave.

Or treat people with respect and address them how they want, not how you want. It'll hardly kill ya

Very true… like it wont kill you to look at all sources of info and viewpoints before making your decision on how you behave. For someone to say only look at the info that supports their view and ignore everything else is frankly verging on cult like behaviour.

No-one else's viewpoint on the pronouns an individual chooses to use is relevant. To deliberately misgender someone isnt big or clever. "

Except that’s not true…. it’s utterly relevant to the person you/they expect to be using the language and/or behaviour. Irrespective of topic no one should use language or behaviours that someone else demands they use for no other reason than they demand it. A person can choose what pronouns they like, and if they make no demands on others then it’s of no relevance to anyone else…. But if they do it becomes relevant….. and a blind ‘do what I say’ trope is cult like at best.

It’s a very intolerant standpoint to take.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Do you have a cock, or a pair of tits?

It's pretty simple."

Ah, it was going so well.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"For me there are only 2 genders and one race."

Your "For me" is completely irrelevant. And incorrect.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"We are all for live and let live!

However, if you take a Male Dog to the Vets to have its nuts cut off, it is a still a Male Dog!

"

And probably more clued-up on sex, gender & identity than some people in this thread!

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Of course I do but you are either a man or a woman. You are born a male or female. Whatever you choose to do with that then it’s totally up to you but you are still one of TWO GENDERS. "

Firstly, you are wrong. Just wrong. Even before we consider the 'soppy nosed society' stuff, you are just scientifically wrong.


"All this soppy nosed society bull crap with you can’t call them this or you have to say that is really doing my nut in. "

That must be horrible for you.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

Can anyone that is in favour of misgendering explain what benefit they gain from it?

I mean it's literally just respecting someone's choice? I don't understand why the thought of doing so makes people so angry?

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Can anyone that is in favour of misgendering explain what benefit they gain from it?

I mean it's literally just respecting someone's choice? I don't understand why the thought of doing so makes people so angry?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can anyone that is in favour of misgendering explain what benefit they gain from it?

I mean it's literally just respecting someone's choice? I don't understand why the thought of doing so makes people so angry?"

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

it's all up to the individual in our humble opinion,

open and honest communication usually provides all the information we need without the need for any nastiness.

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By *ants_Nerdy_CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Havant

We change what we refer to people as all the time. We refer to people by their titles. Married people change their name and you don't keep calling them by the same name. You don't carry on calling a married woman "Miss Whatever", you change to Mrs and do it without any difficulty.

People refer to someone whose gender they don't know by "they" without even thinking about it.

These things are not hard.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"People refer to someone whose gender they don't know by "they" without even thinking about it.

These things are not hard."

And have done in the English language for centuries. It's not some new-fangled thing, despite people complaining they "can't keep up" and other such bollocks.

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By *inkycarolineTV/TS
over a year ago

Kilwinning

X and Y chromasomes.....you cant change those.

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Matt Walsh documentary is, interesting.

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