FabSwingers.com forum: Is it just me ?

By *weetest thing OP Woman
over a year ago

East Midlands

So I’ve been here 5 years know the score don’t want to offend but do any other women find that most guys aren’t interested in whether you cum or not do they even try to make you cum? And do any give oral ? I’m meticulous about my hygiene so I know there’s no issues there and yes I know it’s a site for sex but does that mean penetration only ??!! Would be good to hear others experiences please as losing faith

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I’ve been here 5 years know the score don’t want to offend but do any other women find that most guys aren’t interested in whether you cum or not do they even try to make you cum? And do any give oral ? I’m meticulous about my hygiene so I know there’s no issues there and yes I know it’s a site for sex but does that mean penetration only ??!! Would be good to hear others experiences please as losing faith "

I hate to sound like I am playing the white knight in shining armour. However, sadly you are meeting selfish guys.

I could not imagine meeting a woman and not giving her oral sex. Again, I hate to sound like I am playing the white knight in shining armour. However, I want the woman I meet to be pleasured and cum a lot. I want her to think that was great when can we meet again?

I hope you don't give selfish guys a second meet.

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By *romagefraisWoman
over a year ago

Sunderland

I've found the opposite, that most meets their main aim has been about me enjoying it and making me cum. About half have given me oral. If I'm not getting what I want though I tell them what to do to me.

On the other hand I have had a couple of meets that have been absolute dyer and were the worst sex I've ever had from selfish men who wouldn't have a clue what a woman wants, but those have been a minority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/10/22 23:43:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My blocked list is a battalion of over punchers. So many people talk a good game but have fuck all to back it up. Its not you queen xxx

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

There are men out there who don't love giving a woman oral sex??????????

Fools.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

There's no shortage of men who are fairly selfish lovers. They usually manage to make themselves knowm fairly quickly, with their demands and I avoid them, like a plague. If I meet them and it doesn't work out for me, I make it really clear and end things, if they can't or won't meet my needs. Never a problem putting an immediate stop to things and sending them away.

See if you cam get them to out themselves early on.

There are lots of good, attentive guys too

Mamy women say that a lot of men treat us like free of charge escorts here. We do have to root them out. I'll be explicit up front about my expectations, without giving wank fodder sex chat.

It knocks a lot out

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By *thfloorCouple
over a year ago

Hove

Definitely not "just you". The sad truth is that the scripts for hetero sex are DIRE for women's pleasure/orgasms, and the casual aspect of our encounters make it all even worse. Add to this that most people are mediocre at best! (Yep even the ones that have been having a lot of it

) and you're left with some pretty disappointing experiences.

Yes, I do find that most men are fixated on PIV and ploughing ahead, idk if that's porn's influence or just stereotypical thinking. They seem to be convinced that this is the pinnacle of what they have to offer me, so I can't even blame them as being selfish. Perhaps self-absorbed would be a better description.

I think the answer is, like a poster described above, to be very conscious about what you need to get off/enjoy the encounter, and not shy away from asking for it, insisting on it. I've been pondering about this for some time. I don't think I am up for this level of negotiations. Frankly I'm avoiding 1-on-1 with men, these encounters are not worth the trouble. (Of course it's easy enough for me to drop this, I do have a male partner who is adept at satisfying me). My top experiences having sex with strangers has been joining couples, so if that appeals I'd defo recommend trying it!

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

There's nothing worse than a guy that has one goal,and hasn't got a clue about a womans body and their needs and desires. I'm pretty sure that porn influences alot of men, which is sad because they are not getting to experience what real women wants from them and what they can do for a woman.i think you need to be outright forward in telling them your expectations and that you pretty much demand they meet them if they want to meet you, the ones that have no problem with that will hang around..Good luck.

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By *egvisir71Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Without blowing smoke up my own ass, I love giving oral, ensuring the woman cums wayyyy more than once, in many ways. I’ve always been a giver and the main aim isn’t for me to cum, although I always will wherever she wants it in the end.

Some guys just give us bad press

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Maybe you're just meeting the wrong guys

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

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By *weetest thing OP Woman
over a year ago

East Midlands

I’ve actually had that as my status a few times that people chat the chat but can’t back it up x

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By *weetest thing OP Woman
over a year ago

East Midlands

I’ve actually had that as my status a few times that people chat the chat but can’t back it up x

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

In the past when I was single ,I met one bloke who was all about him.He had such good veries too that made it even more disappointing.

I never met him again ,sadly the ones who were out to satisfy themselves weren't that frequent.

I think some give themselves away in their messages if you chat a while.For example I had a bloke who was one of these "I'll make you squirt types " more fixated on what he wanted than me.He ended up blocked ,that's not what I'm after and despite being told that,he persisted with it.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

*Not sadly ,fortunately *

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

29 verifications OP and no fireworks! You must be choosing the wrong type of men is all I can conclude. My goal is always to ensure the lady has as much pleasure as I can deliver as there is nothing hotter than seeing a woman orgasm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven’t you met the men that can “lick for hours”?

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

As others have said - wrong fellas

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"Haven’t you met the men that can “lick for hours”?"

If they have to lick for hours they are doing by it wrong

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

Definitely picking the wrong guys.

Personally I’m disappointed if the lady doesn’t orgasm. Obviously some only cum once, and some can cum multiple times, but I’m happy as long as she’s satisfied…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haven’t you met the men that can “lick for hours”?

If they have to lick for hours they are doing by it wrong "

90% do it wrong anyway according to my female friends.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

"Haven’t you met the men that can “lick for hours”?

If they have to lick for hours they are doing by it wrong

90% do it wrong anyway according to my female friends."

Are they recording the data on Excel?

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By *romagefraisWoman
over a year ago

Sunderland

It's the ones that say they "can lick for hours" are the worst ones.

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By *weetest thing OP Woman
over a year ago

East Midlands

Yes lol they all ‘say’ that but the harsh reality is they don’t

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

There's definitely something very wrong with your selection process if you're meeting so many guys who can't even do the basics right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The number of men who've said they will make me come SO many times, and then two mins of finger blasting doesn't do it so...they give up.

An orgasm for me and many other women is in the mind. So if you're in a situation where the guy clearly isn't arsed whether you come - there is no fucking point demanding an orgasm from him.

All the guys I've ever chatted to here and on other apps talk about my pleasure and how important it is. And all the men are saying it here too and how women who encounter this must be meeting the wrong guys. Yeah, ok.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

Mrs would love to meet a guy who didn't insist on giving her oral!

Seems that the vast majority of guys who give oral do so for their own enjoyment.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

"Definitely picking the wrong guys.

Personally I’m disappointed if the lady doesn’t orgasm. Obviously some only cum once, and some can cum multiple times, but I’m happy as long as she’s satisfied…"

So you do it for your own pleasure, not the womans then?

That's not "pleasing the woman" that's just doing something some women like.

What if they didn't want to cum because they wanted to save that for their partner once they got home? Would you consider that a bad meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that it's fairly balanced though - IE I've heard stupid amounts of guys tell me that their Mrs have no interest in giving or receiving oral - so much so it was considered a Birthdays or Christmas event by most guys I knew in my twenties and thirties myself included across two marriages.

I'd say that those that are more liberated in their mind set are in the minority and the concentration of that mindset here in this forum is not typical in the wider population. Of course you are going to see some of that attitude leeching in here as it gets flooded with vanilla guys that don't really know what it's about and think it's just a free shag.

Most people that swing are very much aware of their physical and sexual needs and those of their partners.

As mentioned previously selection is key. You have the privilege of asking as many questions as you want up front here. Ask them what they think makes a great sexual meet (not what do you like doing) and don't lead the witness so as to speak. Like a school report card or job reference what they leave out will tell you as much as what they say.

Anyways blah blah blah - we both love oral and here comes me trumpet cos I'm personally very proud of it we are both very good at it, verging on excellent

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Majority I've met have said giving oral is their favourite thing to do.

I would mention this when you're chatting if it's really important to you. Set your boundaries!

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"There's nothing worse than a guy that has one goal,and hasn't got a clue about a womans body and their needs and desires. I'm pretty sure that porn influences alot of men, which is sad because they are not getting to experience what real women wants from them and what they can do for a woman.i think you need to be outright forward in telling them your expectations and that you pretty much demand they meet them if they want to meet you, the ones that have no problem with that will hang around..Good luck. "

Sadly young people are being influenced by porn. Young women think they should behave like women in porn. You men think women love doing what women do in porn and they want their man to do it.

There should be videos that show what caring, sensual, lovemaking between a couple is.

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By *herrybakewellCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Everyone's interpretation of sex is so different.

For me penetration is just a small part, I reallyyyy enjoy the build up including oral before penetration happens which helps the lady get warmed up ??

If you aren't getting what you need to make you cum, then take control of the situation and tell them. They might thankyou for it.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

I would rather not receive oral so penetration only is my preferred option

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Or maybe your with the wrong guys. Or maybe that's exactly the sort of thing what the wrong guys would say

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

This was genuinely something that has surprised me as I've met or spoken with more and more people. I've always enjoyed giving oral as much as receiving and couldn't belueve so many guys seem not to.

One thing I'd add, especially in a club/swinging environment where you don't really know each other, is "please communicate!".

I've gone down on women who've really enjoyed it and orgasmed multiple times - which you might say means my technique is good - and on others it's not hit the mark at all - which you could say is a sign I'm not good. In reality, what works for one might not for another, so please, if I'm circling my tongue around your clit but you'd rather I flicked it side to side, just tell me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you meet a guy and he is being sexually selfish I would end the meet.

Remember you have every right to say stop at any time.

If he is being sexually selfish I would just say sorry I am not feeling this.

If he said I can lick for hours or I love giving women oral sexy remind him of what he said.

If he licks you for 30 seconds suck his cock for 30 seconds. See how he likes it lol.

If he gets funny with you just tell him you are no longer prepared to put up with sexually selfish guys. Tell him your needs, desires, and wants matter. b

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell guys you love tying them up and teasing them. Tie him to the bed spreadeagled. Then sit on his face and get him to tongue your cunt for as long as you want. That will teach the selfish bastards lol.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I see both sides of the coin

Some women don’t want oral, some do. For those that do and are not getting it. Have you told your partner I want this or why don’t you try this

I never used to like giving oral due to not a perceived thought that I was y very good. My good friend helped me.

Now I give as good as I get but again I will give it as I know women enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately you've picked the wrong guys

I think I'm lucky cause I've been on and off here for about 4/5 years and never met any men like that

Most of the men I've met have been amazing and giving sexually

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By *asques and boxersCouple
over a year ago

Ashford and dept16

Hi we are non penetration only couple so if they cant do wont do oral then they go home full

That said as your bi curious why not spend a afternoon or evening being shared between us? Toys are avialable without any fear of not recieving the pleasure soooo sort.

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By *asques and boxersCouple
over a year ago

Ashford and dept16

We have never met a guy who doesnt love orally pleasuring.

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By *eliusMan
over a year ago

Henlow

I suspect it’s not most guys .. but a certain type. If it’s happening to you regularly then there is a common theme with the profiles you’re selecting. Remember the definition of insanity is ‘doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.’

You’re not insane, just trying to suggest as to why you’ve found these selfish individuals.

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By *r. CMan
over a year ago

Tiverton

I don't personally understand guys who don't want to give a woman as much pleasure as possible. I love to tease and edge a lady for a decent amount of time before sex is even a thought. It makes the whole experience more intense for both of us when we do.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Great sex is everyone’s responsibility. Not everyone likes the same things and the only way to ensure you get it right with a new partner is to talk and explore. If one partner isn’t getting what they need then ask for it. Sex with new and different people is fraught with opportunities to get it wrong.

If you frequently don’t get what you need it might be that you need to make sure the other person (people) have no doubt what you are looking for.

V x

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

"Definitely picking the wrong guys.

Personally I’m disappointed if the lady doesn’t orgasm. Obviously some only cum once, and some can cum multiple times, but I’m happy as long as she’s satisfied…

So you do it for your own pleasure, not the womans then?

That's not "pleasing the woman" that's just doing something some women like.

What if they didn't want to cum because they wanted to save that for their partner once they got home? Would you consider that a bad meet? "

That’s one hell of a distorted perception of what I said.

What is it with people on these forums? Go and troll someone else, idiot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the opposite for me

Mr fox gets off on guys cuming qnd hates when they focus on her all the time, she literally just wants the cum..

Like a cum vampire

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

(In simple terms, read the original post, and read my response to it)

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

"(In simple terms, read the original post, and read my response to it)"

I'm not an idiot, but I did probably take your comment out of context of the OP. My bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes find it hard my to cum but I do make sure the woman does even if I dont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not insane at all and hopefully you've at least had some good experiences from your veris.

It's all about communication really, before, during and after. It sounds like you know what you want and say it but some guys just BS and dont deliver? Well tell them and don't deliver for them either.

Sometimes I think it would be great if we could give better reviews on here, the good the bad and the ugly. Everyone might try harder if they had to be rated haha!

You'll find your cunninglinguists don't despair xx

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

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By *ubandsubCouple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Looks like the wrong guys, Oral with women is a must, i love nothing more than feeling a ladies thighs tighten around my head when she cums. Mmmm

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"It's the opposite for me

Mr fox gets off on guys cuming qnd hates when they focus on her all the time, she literally just wants the cum..

Like a cum vampire "

Lol @ cum vampire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The number of men who've said they will make me come SO many times, and then two mins of finger blasting doesn't do it so...they give up.

An orgasm for me and many other women is in the mind. So if you're in a situation where the guy clearly isn't arsed whether you come - there is no fucking point demanding an orgasm from him.

Men who talk about sex stuff before meeting in person are usually just wankers. As in they just want wank chat because they are crap at sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid the ones who talk about sex/ brag about their skills.

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By *thfloorCouple
over a year ago

Hove

"The number of men who've said they will make me come SO many times, and then two mins of finger blasting doesn't do it so...they give up.

An orgasm for me and many other women is in the mind. So if you're in a situation where the guy clearly isn't arsed whether you come - there is no fucking point demanding an orgasm from him.

Sorry to see the UNLOS. But illustrates the point.

Bang on - for everyone who said the OP is picking wrong, what do you think the mistake is? I've met with all sorts, young old fit average experienced inexperienced, the vast majority were good men, not selfish, and I'm not shy of giving instructions or making a request. But there is little point, when there are set routines to follow and the very basics are skewed towards male physiology.

When you say the problem is individual you deny that casual sex is crap for women. We should instead be asking, what can we do for more women to enjoy casual sex? A poster above said they consider foreplay as part of sex (and good for him!) - in this day an age this is still rare enough to be considered a USP.

If this worked for women, there'd be lots more women on fabs, cos good sex is a big draw! It's that simple.

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