FabSwingers.com forum: How to get the wife more adventurous

By *ewcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

leicestershire

Hi all.

Just asking for a bit of advice as how to get the wife more adventurous...

We have been trying to swing for a few years now...had kids so things were put on hold.

Now looking at giving it another go

But one minute the wife is up for it the next it's a no no.

She is stunning and likes the cock so can't see what's holding us back...

Cheers all

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What does your wife say when you talk to her about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

only you know your wife ? or dont you ? amazes me when people ask strangers for advice on there other halfs ? stop being lazy and sit down with your wife and find out why shes 50/50 ...

having kids at home and swinging is about the hardest thing you can do swinging wise our shakles never came off fully until the kids left home then it was full on

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By *lirtyAndFunCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

It may be a lack of self confidence, I know mine was when we started arranging meets. Being able to pull guys at a bar is so different to actually pre planning sex, it terrified me for a few weeks even though I really did want to.

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

"Hi all.

Just asking for a bit of advice as how to get the wife more adventurous...

We have been trying to swing for a few years now...had kids so things were put on hold.

Now looking at giving it another go

But one minute the wife is up for it the next it's a no no.

She is stunning and likes the cock so can't see what's holding us back...

Cheers all

Maybe she just doesn’t want to anymore

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

Couple of things.

Firstly, no one here can tell you how to convince her nor should they. She's a stranger whom we know nothing about. You need to be talking to her, asking her what she wants to do and respecting her wishes. The very worst thing you can do when swinging is cajole someone into doing something they don't really want to do, especially your wife. Talk to her and be honest.

Secondly you've clearly been on the site several years.and at least got cam verified. If tjat is as far as she was willing to go and she's not opted to do anything in that time since it's not likely she ever will.

Now I know that sounds negative but it's just blunt honesty. I'm of the firm mindset and speak from

experiance that swinging only works when everyone is on board fully. It's a disaster waiting to happen when they are not.

If.ypu cant talk frankly to her, it ain't going to work. If you won't bring it up in normal conversation, bring it up in the bedroom. Suggest it or suggest going to a club to.see what it's all about but if she's not willing, just leave it at that for your own marriages sake.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"Hi all.

Just asking for a bit of advice as how to get the wife more adventurous...

We have been trying to swing for a few years now...had kids so things were put on hold.

Now looking at giving it another go

But one minute the wife is up for it the next it's a no no.

She is stunning and likes the cock so can't see what's holding us back...

Cheers all

Non of us can or should be convincing her.

You shouldn't be convincing her

The far more pertinent question would be what are her concerns or anxieties when she says no which I suspect people might be able to offer more advice around. Though that assumes she means it when she says yes and the no is down to nerves rather than a refusal to consider it

The more pertone

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By *ewcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

leicestershire

She is really up for it after a few drinks...

But the next morning she isn't so...

That's why I have never pushed her into it

We are looking at going benidorm just the 2 of us and she says she would like to find people to play with there.

Think it might just be a fantasy of hers

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Speaking from my own experience - I was “convinced” or rather should I say “made to be more adventurous” by my former partner and because I wasn’t ready, but did it anyway to please him - it unavoidably took me to the very dark place.

It’s obvious we are not together anymore but even I am on here now as a single person - I’m still struggling to meet because of trauma but slowly getting better.

I’d be very cautious of your wife’s feelings but that’s only my opinion.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

It's a no from her, listen. Sharing fantasies when d*unk is not consent from her.

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

"She is really up for it after a few drinks...

But the next morning she isn't so...

That's why I have never pushed her into it

We are looking at going benidorm just the 2 of us and she says she would like to find people to play with there.

Think it might just be a fantasy of hers"

Sounds like a fantasy tbh

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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago

Clevedon

Me and my wife did for a little while, not something she really got into, the occasional play, so we stopped going to clubs and i respected her descision to step back from this scene.she knows I'm on here, not that i do much anymore, but to have kept pushing would inevitably done some real damage to our relationship, which i would hate to have happened. I get the feeling its not really what she wants from what you said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like it's something you want and she doesn't and you're trying to twist her arm. Doesn't make for a very good relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like it's something you want and she doesn't and you're trying to twist her arm. Doesn't make for a very good relationship. "

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like it's something you want and she doesn't and you're trying to twist her arm. Doesn't make for a very good relationship. "

Bang on .sounds a fantasy only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id be very worried if it takes a few drinks to talk or play ... under the influence does not = consent very rocky road that but seen it before pushy husbands never ends well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a new wife.. Don't force people if it's not their thing, will never end well

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

When we first started going to Clubs, we had lots of rules as we were scared of hurting each other. So we used to go, loved getting dressed up, looking at people and then playing with each other.

We discovered over time what we were and weren’t comfortable with, and we have relaxed our rules completely now.

For some people it takes time. Just remember you are there for each other & not just yourself.

The most important bit is talk to each other & don’t rush into anything.

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By *ixenandhoundCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth, South west

I'd say if she's only up for it when she's had a few drinks then maybe it's more fantasy/ intrigue....

It's not for everyone..

Maybe suggest a club visit.... less pressure than a meet, but it sounds like she's not as keen as you maybe?

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"When we first started going to Clubs, we had lots of rules as we were scared of hurting each other. So we used to go, loved getting dressed up, looking at people and then playing with each other.

We discovered over time what we were and weren’t comfortable with, and we have relaxed our rules completely now.

For some people it takes time. Just remember you are there for each other & not just yourself.

The most important bit is talk to each other & don’t rush into anything."

Fantastic Advice! Definitely communicate regularly and when you are clear headed! I'm partial to a bit of psychobabble/psychotherapy and the worst thing you could do is force her when she's not ready. I've seen people forced into therapy when they are not ready and it's a disaster! And that's therapy with a professional not getting completely naked with strangers with a higher physical and psychological risk!

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"She is really up for it after a few drinks...

But the next morning she isn't so...

That's why I have never pushed her into it

We are looking at going benidorm just the 2 of us and she says she would like to find people to play with there.

Think it might just be a fantasy of hers"

If I was you I'd be respecting your wife's position in this, your relationship/marriage is the most important thing in this, especially if you have kids

Convincing her is not the right path. If she did go ahead with it after a few drink she could end up really regretting it and blaming you.

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Good communication is the key in this lifestyle or nobody will have fun. Ask your wife what's holding you back. It maybe a case of she isn't into it as much as you think x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't force her. If she's not into the idea when she's sober then it's probably not going to happen.

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By *astmale123Man
over a year ago

Parkhead Glasgow

Yeah almost kids put a real clamp on swinging as a couple, its easier when they are in school and when they leave home, go wild lol

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By *otfun75Man
over a year ago

leeds

Would love to no my self

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Would love to no my self "

Monthly weekends away. I used to do this with my ex. Obviously we broke up when we stopped doing it.

Nothing too fancy. We didn't have kids so we'd go to a day spa or an overnight spa. about 100 quid per person.

If you have kids, you'd have to either arrange for the kids to be looked after for the whole day or you would have to take on the child care yourself and send her to the spa/salon, so she is happy and relaxed once the kids are in bed.

If you do this on a regular basis, she will relax and not feel like a drudgery maid.

Also watch sex documentaries or read sex books together.

Sorry Porn is not going to work.

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