FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

What does sharing your partner really feel like?

Jump to newest
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton

Hi I wondered how it feels to share your partners, particularly the first time, we are married interested in swinging but worried if it will spoil our relationship and closeness? Any thoughts welcome

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't think of it as sharing, its just sex and I don't own his body.

I think if you have discussed it, know what your boundaries are and agree that what happens during a meet isn't going to affect your relationship you'll be ok. If either one of you has the slightest doubt, don't do it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/07/22 23:58:53]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely you discussed this before you joined a swinging site over a year ago.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton

Yes we joined a while ago but not actually tried it yet!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes we joined a while ago but not actually tried it yet!"

We? You have a single male profile.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton

We have our own and couple profile

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *randMrskittyCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

We are trying to organise a threesum and finding it Really difficult any advice

Apparantly single bi girls to join a male female couple bit that easy to find

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have our own and couple profile "

For us communication was key. We discussed everything at length before and after our first time. You’ll never really know how you’ll feel until you do it so getting other peoples opinions won’t really help.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"We are trying to organise a threesum and finding it Really difficult any advice

Apparantly single bi girls to join a male female couple bit that easy to find "

you'd be better off starting your own thread

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single female, I never get a female from a couple contact me, always the guys. They always lead. It should be joint if they are both as eager!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hippy57Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

It’s something that you should both think about,talk ,talk and more talk,maybe role play to see how your feelings are,having a threesome with someone you not in love with is very nice,but with someone you love dearly,maybe mother of your children etc,is different ball game,so many emotions involved,you have to really love your partner to do this,as strange as it sounds,the rewards can be fantastic,bringing you closer,it’s the ultimate sacrifice,anyone that’s selfish or jealous should maybe not get involved,jealousy to a degree is part of the experience,controlled jealousy a better word,

You are agreeing to allowing your partner to enjoy another with your blessing,because you want them to experience anything that they want,

Bit corny ,but like having a bird in a cage,let it go,and if it comes back you know it loves you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral

It is different things to different people, can I explain how I see it?

I'm a voyeuristic hubby, I like to watch my wife with other men and as much as I want this it does come with its 'warnings'.

I can have conflicting emotions that come and pass with the twinkling of an eye. One second I am totally absorbed in what I am seeing and loving the fact that my wife is in orgasm, the next I get a pang of jealousy/humiliation as its not ME making her cum. It has to be said that he's feelings come and go and for me are an integral part of the whole experience. Others though may not be able to cope with things like this and you really need to be sure that you're not one of them. Your relationship needs to be rock solid also with trust and respect the very core of it. You should also both be clear in what you want from your 'adventure' - speak to each other, be open and honest and this will help you both get the experience you are hoping for.

This is a fascinating lifestyle that's (unfortunately) not for everyone - communication is key, good luck with your journey OP.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always the single guy claiming that his “wife” wants to try.

Looking for wanking fodder.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unCpl60Couple
over a year ago

Newry

Fully agree and very well explained.

Can be an emotional nightmare but also extremely erotic. The potential for follow on pillow talk can seriously enrich the couples sex life for years to come.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton


"It’s something that you should both think about,talk ,talk and more talk,maybe role play to see how your feelings are,having a threesome with someone you not in love with is very nice,but with someone you love dearly,maybe mother of your children etc,is different ball game,so many emotions involved,you have to really love your partner to do this,as strange as it sounds,the rewards can be fantastic,bringing you closer,it’s the ultimate sacrifice,anyone that’s selfish or jealous should maybe not get involved,jealousy to a degree is part of the experience,controlled jealousy a better word,

You are agreeing to allowing your partner to enjoy another with your blessing,because you want them to experience anything that they want,

Bit corny ,but like having a bird in a cage,let it go,and if it comes back you know it loves you "
Thanks for your post very useful as they all are.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *randMrskittyCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Thank you x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton


"It is different things to different people, can I explain how I see it?

I'm a voyeuristic hubby, I like to watch my wife with other men and as much as I want this it does come with its 'warnings'.

I can have conflicting emotions that come and pass with the twinkling of an eye. One second I am totally absorbed in what I am seeing and loving the fact that my wife is in orgasm, the next I get a pang of jealousy/humiliation as its not ME making her cum. It has to be said that he's feelings come and go and for me are an integral part of the whole experience. Others though may not be able to cope with things like this and you really need to be sure that you're not one of them. Your relationship needs to be rock solid also with trust and respect the very core of it. You should also both be clear in what you want from your 'adventure' - speak to each other, be open and honest and this will help you both get the experience you are hoping for.

This is a fascinating lifestyle that's (unfortunately) not for everyone - communication is key, good luck with your journey OP."

Your post is very useful, can I ask have your feelings changed over time I.e. have the negative ones got less and if so how long does it take to get to that stage?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England

OP, so you are both looking to share/swap or just you? Are you thinking about a male, couple? The feelings are surely going to be different depending on who is sharing, what you and/or partner are looking for and the relationship dynamic. How involved will your partner be? Have even thought it through between you?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton

We still working that out, interested in couple but also maybe cuckold, do you think the different dynamics can have an effect on the emotions to any extent?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dynamic and emotions are very different in my experience

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton

Any recommendations for new starts on best dynamic?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a single female, I never get a female from a couple contact me, always the guys. They always lead. It should be joint if they are both as eager!!"

I appreciate your view but for us it tends to be Mr here that posts and messages etc, because as eager as Mrs is, she finds this side of things overwhelming and it would leave her less eager, so it wouldn't work for us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England


"We still working that out, interested in couple but also maybe cuckold, do you think the different dynamics can have an effect on the emotions to any extent?"

Absolutely. As others have said the idea of seeing your partner can be hot as hell but when you see a guy pleasuring your other half reality might set in. I can understand other comments being skeptical in so far as it's you posting (not from a couple profile).

If it's something you both want you probably need to discuss it as a couple. Not sure what you both like but maybe arrange some soft play scenarios and see how you feel. Swapping or sharing is more practical than theory!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Always the single guy claiming that his “wife” wants to try.

Looking for wanking fodder. "

When genuine, this is the best approach.

Imagine all the messages a single woman would receive after posting for advice on this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickedwillyCouple
over a year ago

Bangor

It’s amazing but it has to be the right gent for her and she surprises me who she picks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As mentioned above, the mixed emotions that fleetingly appear.

I thrive on those mixed emotions, in an instant I can have two thought processes, the ....... No, don't do that, she's/you're my girl and the ....... Oh my gawd yeah, give her exactly what the wants can rush through my mind.

Generally, I'm not a jealous person at all, a little envious maybe when I watched over camera, the Mrs getting intimate with another man, and with those same mixed emotions I thrive on.

They soon pass, if you don't dwell on them.

The mixed emotions combined make for a thrilling experience, along with the intimacy happening at the time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England


"Any recommendations for new starts on best dynamic?"

You started the thread asking about how it might affect a relationship etc. I'm sure most people's experience are unique as every couple is different.

What do you both like, what are you looking for? At some point if you want this to happen you need to take some action.

I suppose the usual things will be go to a social or something like that. But you could equally arrange to meet a couple in a similar situation to yourselves. What do you think will work best for you? Don't think there is a one size fits all answer.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omblingFreeCouple
over a year ago

The Village

We are the same. Mrs Dirty is always present when we exchange messages (and I'm upfront about it if she's not). True, she is given 'edited highlights' and sees only the good messages, the presentable pics and the potentially fanciable folk who get in touch. She gives her input when we construct a reply to them, and we never exchange face pics unless both are present. But it is always me who types. Mrs D can log in any time she wants, and does when the mood takes her, but generally she finds replying to messages and viewing our inbox overwhelming. Screening for wally brains and creeps and and all the other stuff I do to filter things for her, she finds a real turn off. We all know the good is mingled with the bad on here, if it wasn't me dealing with the difficult crap Mrs Dirty would have given up on all this long, long ago and would probably have a fine sprawling collection of dildos, vibes and plugs instead of the grab bag of good memories we've managed to build up. It's not that she isn't 'as keen' as me, it's just that she will go back in her shell if she comes on and has a bad time - and we both know it. It's a sensible approach that works for us.

Mrs D

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

Very true

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are the same. Mrs Dirty is always present when we exchange messages (and I'm upfront about it if she's not). True, she is given 'edited highlights' and sees only the good messages, the presentable pics and the potentially fanciable folk who get in touch. She gives her input when we construct a reply to them, and we never exchange face pics unless both are present. But it is always me who types. Mrs D can log in any time she wants, and does when the mood takes her, but generally she finds replying to messages and viewing our inbox overwhelming. Screening for wally brains and creeps and and all the other stuff I do to filter things for her, she finds a real turn off. We all know the good is mingled with the bad on here, if it wasn't me dealing with the difficult crap Mrs Dirty would have given up on all this long, long ago and would probably have a fine sprawling collection of dildos, vibes and plugs instead of the grab bag of good memories we've managed to build up. It's not that she isn't 'as keen' as me, it's just that she will go back in her shell if she comes on and has a bad time - and we both know it. It's a sensible approach that works for us.

Mrs D"

You mean Mr D?!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton

Thanks for your useful advice that's great

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton

Thanks for your advice,bits really useful to get this type of feedback

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest that being self assured and secure in your relationship and yourself are good traits that can help.

Or a mild psychotic sway on personality type may assist

Personally, the over riding concern is of safety. Followed by curiosity and mild excitement.

Part of the kink or lifestyle is very unique to each relationship. Same act, different reasons. The ‘why’ can be very personal, but likely affects the emotive response, or certainly would for ourselves.

But as posters above note, it is sex, not emotional connection and as such no jealousy kicks into our equation.

I am not sure if my partner would compartmentalise as I do though, if/when I engage in individual play.

Of course, normal caveats - my opinion relevant to me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughtynottsCouple
over a year ago

Outside Nottingham

If anything it makes us feel even closer after a meet with others, we fuck like wild animals for days after and openly discuss everything together, it’s a fantastic feeling when you can put any jealousy to one side and realise it’s just fun and the connection you have together is unbreakable.

We both love seeing each other enjoying others but this has taken a little work over the years to be totally comfortable in everything we do, It’s all in the communication.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think of it as sharing, its just sex and I don't own his body.

I think if you have discussed it, know what your boundaries are and agree that what happens during a meet isn't going to affect your relationship you'll be ok. If either one of you has the slightest doubt, don't do it."

Well said

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral

[Removed by poster at 03/07/22 12:56:13]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral


"As a single female, I never get a female from a couple contact me, always the guys. They always lead. It should be joint if they are both as eager!!

I appreciate your view but for us it tends to be Mr here that posts and messages etc, because as eager as Mrs is, she finds this side of things overwhelming and it would leave her less eager, so it wouldn't work for us."

Couldn't agree more with this, my wife never gets involved with sifting through the applications as she finds some of the guys writing clueless and classless and is more than happy for me to cut through the chaffe to get to the wheat.

When - and only when - I find someone I believe suitable I then let her know and she will then peruse profiles, read correspondence and begin chatting etc. She trusts my judgement, she knows i will be thorough in my selection process lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral


"It is different things to different people, can I explain how I see it?

I'm a voyeuristic hubby, I like to watch my wife with other men and as much as I want this it does come with its 'warnings'.

I can have conflicting emotions that come and pass with the twinkling of an eye. One second I am totally absorbed in what I am seeing and loving the fact that my wife is in orgasm, the next I get a pang of jealousy/humiliation as its not ME making her cum. It has to be said that he's feelings come and go and for me are an integral part of the whole experience. Others though may not be able to cope with things like this and you really need to be sure that you're not one of them. Your relationship needs to be rock solid also with trust and respect the very core of it. You should also both be clear in what you want from your 'adventure' - speak to each other, be open and honest and this will help you both get the experience you are hoping for.

This is a fascinating lifestyle that's (unfortunately) not for everyone - communication is key, good luck with your journey OP.

Your post is very useful, can I ask have your feelings changed over time I.e. have the negative ones got less and if so how long does it take to get to that stage? "

Not really changed no, and they also become more heightened when a new playmate comes on the scene.

They aren't 'negative' feelings as such, it's a bit like having an angel on one shoulder and a demon on the other. Satan will say his peace but he soon gets tossed aside.

It takes a lot of mental strength to be a sharing husband as the emotions can come thick and fast, I don't believe they ever go, you just learn to control & manage them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rather than procrastinating over whether to swing by posting on forums, a better approach would be to take your partner to a swing club on a couples night.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral


"Rather than procrastinating over whether to swing by posting on forums, a better approach would be to take your partner to a swing club on a couples night."

Clubs aren't for everyone though - especially for a 1st time when your stomach may already be in knots.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think of it as sharing, its just sex and I don't own his body.

I think if you have discussed it, know what your boundaries are and agree that what happens during a meet isn't going to affect your relationship you'll be ok. If either one of you has the slightest doubt, don't do it."

Agreed, no one is owned, just comes down to understanding and respect

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omblingFreeCouple
over a year ago

The Village


"We are the same. Mrs Dirty is always present when we exchange messages (and I'm upfront about it if she's not). True, she is given 'edited highlights' and sees only the good messages, the presentable pics and the potentially fanciable folk who get in touch. She gives her input when we construct a reply to them, and we never exchange face pics unless both are present. But it is always me who types. Mrs D can log in any time she wants, and does when the mood takes her, but generally she finds replying to messages and viewing our inbox overwhelming. Screening for wally brains and creeps and and all the other stuff I do to filter things for her, she finds a real turn off. We all know the good is mingled with the bad on here, if it wasn't me dealing with the difficult crap Mrs Dirty would have given up on all this long, long ago and would probably have a fine sprawling collection of dildos, vibes and plugs instead of the grab bag of good memories we've managed to build up. It's not that she isn't 'as keen' as me, it's just that she will go back in her shell if she comes on and has a bad time - and we both know it. It's a sensible approach that works for us.

Mrs D

You mean Mr D?!! "

Yes!!!!

Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"As a single female, I never get a female from a couple contact me, always the guys. They always lead. It should be joint if they are both as eager!!

I appreciate your view but for us it tends to be Mr here that posts and messages etc, because as eager as Mrs is, she finds this side of things overwhelming and it would leave her less eager, so it wouldn't work for us.

Couldn't agree more with this, my wife never gets involved with sifting through the applications as she finds some of the guys writing clueless and classless and is more than happy for me to cut through the chaffe to get to the wheat.

When - and only when - I find someone I believe suitable I then let her know and she will then peruse profiles, read correspondence and begin chatting etc. She trusts my judgement, she knows i will be thorough in my selection process lol."

Ours is, or maybe “was” is a better word, a different experience.

The first MFF on here was instigated by Lizzie. She arranged it all and was a great experience for all.

After this, it was about 30-30 in terms of any effort arranging future meets with females. The remaining 40% was females contacting us to meet. Pleased to say that all our meets on here (and in clubs) with single females have been good ones.

Over the last few years, our usage of fab is about 75% myself and 25% Lizzie (but this includes sitting next to each other updating each other about messages), hence I’ve become Fabmin.

Though our usage of fab is a lot different now to what it was years ago.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Hi I wondered how it feels to share your partners, particularly the first time, we are married interested in swinging but worried if it will spoil our relationship and closeness? Any thoughts welcome "

Advice to the OP. If this is really going through one or both of your minds, then you do need to sit back and regroup.

With a limited amount of knowledge about your experience and thoughts (I have read your other posts), if I’m to use “gut feel”, the fact you’ve got a single profile as well as a couples profile is not a good thing. It either sounds like your partner has insecurities that you’ve got a separate profile. Or you’ve got insecurities about your partner with another person. Kind of cake and eat it.

For us, we are purely swinging as a couple and have no interest in a separate profile. There are many genuine couples that do have single profiles too, but they typically come after doing it together and feeling out the lifestyle as a couple.

My advice to you would be at this stage, scrap any single profiles, as a single profile is for self use and doesn’t represent unity in the first instance.

Concentrate on your couples profile as a profile. Establish what you both want from swinging. If they’re at two different levels, then go at the slower pace until you’re aligned.

If one doesn’t want to be doing it, then this is an issue. Though you do say you’re interested, so if this is common ground (or even not), try and go to a club together, or a social meet at a pub with no intentions to swing.

Just go out and meet people together and get a feel for the scene from others.

This can be reassuring when starting out and gives you some real life anecdotes about the scene when going home to talk about swinging.

Then if you both agree and like it, you can go into the next meet knowing you’ve not dived in at the deep end and have regrets. Contrary, you can go into the next meet knowing you both want a little more.

And then on, you can ascertain whether single profiles are for you both. But for now, focus as a couple (ps A lot of couples who have single profiles reference their profiles on their single profile and vice versa).

Hope this helps and proves constructive for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orkcoastguyMan
over a year ago

Bridlington.

In direct answer to your question, in my experience, as a couple it brought us closer together.

We were very clear between us as to what we wanted from our sharing our lovemaking with others, and how we would do it.

For us it was as n extension of our intimacy together not at all like an affaire.

Similarly when now as a man offering myself to couples, I know that essentially I am just a body that is there to enhance what they are doing as a couple; crudely a 'rent-a-cock' (no fees!)

No romantic feelings, no contact outside the sex meets and all boundaries clear and respected.

I enjoy it, they enjoy it and we part ....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *anilla-sinCouple
over a year ago

lancs

This is the big question isn't it... Can you handle it?!? It's one thing to imagine your partner with someone else.... A step further to share that desire and talk about it together (it's fun to discuss together while fucking, isn't it), and it's another step to actually start to do something about it.. join Fab, start to trawl through the endless messages.. Maybe go to a club.. (People always advise to do this.. But it is a bit scary the first time)... And An EVEN bigger step to actually DO IT! To cross that rubicon..

The answer is.. You never know how you will feel until you see your partner with somebody else for the first time.. You might know how you THINK you will feel, and you definitely know that the thought of it is good.. And it goes both ways. The first time we ever did anything as a couple, we went to a club.. and played together in an open room.. Before we knew it we had a large crowd watching, and the Mrs Vanilla-sin invited a guy to join us. He hopped onto the bed, and thrust his cock into her mouth.. And I watched as I fucked her.. We still occasionally discuss this first time.. and We were both nervous - Me wondering if I would actually like watching a stranger fuck her mouth.. Her worrying that I wouldn't like it.. A multitude of unspoken anxieties were bubbling under the surface. But.. (spoiler alert) I did like it.. And we made eye contact, she could see how turned on I was, and she relaxed and enjoyed it from that point. We do this together... And the enjoyment is from the fact the we do so, and that it is just an addition to our already great sex life.

As other people have said: You have to talk about it, and understand your motivation for doing it.. And (this might sound stupid..) But test it.. talk about it at 8:45 on a Monday morning, when you aren't horny.. talk about it after you have just orgasmed.. It's really important that it isn't just the product of the horn.. You have to be secure, and trust each other... If you can do it, then you open up an amazing world of possibilities.. But it isn't for everybody.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle MonkeysCouple
over a year ago

Kimberley

I think the feelings are different depending on the third person. We first went with a female before introducing a male as it felt an easier step into the scene. We paid for our first two experiences as we knew there would be zero chance of any connections and once we knew how we felt a little better we started here.

As long as you can see it as a shared experience you will be fine. But it has to be shared and equally wanted

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lex.and.SexCouple
over a year ago

Bedale


"As a single female, I never get a female from a couple contact me, always the guys. They always lead. It should be joint if they are both as eager!!"

Meh, L for example is keen as mustard once things get going but she has absolutely no interest wading through the bullshit involved in finding the diamonds in the rough on here.

There is a difference between keenness to play and tolerance for nonsense.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ofusplusCouple
over a year ago

Limerick

Communication is everything, before, during and after. Oh and the reclaim sex is off the scale as you will discover! Good luck, hope it works out for you x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

My partner and I honestly spoke about things for about 3 years before anything happened as we wanted to make sure it wouldn't effect our relationship

I've always had an odd outlook on sex in that I see ut as recreational like going to the pub, I can keep sex and emotions separate

I'll be honest I don't like watching my partner with another woman particuarly I find it awkward like I'm intruding but I'm also like it with anyone playing in clubs I don't have the voyeur gene, but I like hearing about it after knowing the lady has enjoyed their time with him etc

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

This is so spot on..


"This is the big question isn't it... Can you handle it?!? It's one thing to imagine your partner with someone else.... A step further to share that desire and talk about it together (it's fun to discuss together while fucking, isn't it), and it's another step to actually start to do something about it.. join Fab, start to trawl through the endless messages.. Maybe go to a club.. (People always advise to do this.. But it is a bit scary the first time)... And An EVEN bigger step to actually DO IT! To cross that rubicon..

The answer is.. You never know how you will feel until you see your partner with somebody else for the first time.. You might know how you THINK you will feel, and you definitely know that the thought of it is good.. And it goes both ways. The first time we ever did anything as a couple, we went to a club.. and played together in an open room.. Before we knew it we had a large crowd watching, and the Mrs Vanilla-sin invited a guy to join us. He hopped onto the bed, and thrust his cock into her mouth.. And I watched as I fucked her.. We still occasionally discuss this first time.. and We were both nervous - Me wondering if I would actually like watching a stranger fuck her mouth.. Her worrying that I wouldn't like it.. A multitude of unspoken anxieties were bubbling under the surface. But.. (spoiler alert) I did like it.. And we made eye contact, she could see how turned on I was, and she relaxed and enjoyed it from that point. We do this together... And the enjoyment is from the fact the we do so, and that it is just an addition to our already great sex life.

As other people have said: You have to talk about it, and understand your motivation for doing it.. And (this might sound stupid..) But test it.. talk about it at 8:45 on a Monday morning, when you aren't horny.. talk about it after you have just orgasmed.. It's really important that it isn't just the product of the horn.. You have to be secure, and trust each other... If you can do it, then you open up an amazing world of possibilities.. But it isn't for everybody. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

Just make sure you talk and talk and set your boundaries first.

The first time we visited a club. We felt very comfortable as it was just like a normal bar with music.. people chatting but just dressed sexier.

Later on we went to a room to play by ourselves but wasn’t long before I was with two guys (just think skiing!) and my husband going down on one of the guys wives.

We found the fantasy and the reality very different. We didn’t feel jealousy.. just very overwhelmed at the situation. We looked at each other and knew we needed to bring the play to a halt. We had rushed in big time.

Luckily for us the people we were playing with sat with us for ages talking to us about swinging and how they wasn’t surprised we stopped as it was pretty full on for our first taste of swinging and we were kind of split apart in a big playroom. They didn’t realise we were newbies and we were too shy to say.

We went home and had the best sex we had ever had. And our sex life was already great but it was like woahhh! This is what it’s all about! An amazing addition to what was already good.

We went back to the club a few weeks later and never looked back. We took baby steps and gradually felt more confident in what we wanted.

Just make sure both of you are always happy. If one of us isn’t happy about something then we sort it out straight away . Just like in the vanilla world, you look always after each other.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is different things to different people, can I explain how I see it?

I'm a voyeuristic hubby, I like to watch my wife with other men and as much as I want this it does come with its 'warnings'.

I can have conflicting emotions that come and pass with the twinkling of an eye. One second I am totally absorbed in what I am seeing and loving the fact that my wife is in orgasm, the next I get a pang of jealousy/humiliation as its not ME making her cum. It has to be said that he's feelings come and go and for me are an integral part of the whole experience. Others though may not be able to cope with things like this and you really need to be sure that you're not one of them. Your relationship needs to be rock solid also with trust and respect the very core of it. You should also both be clear in what you want from your 'adventure' - speak to each other, be open and honest and this will help you both get the experience you are hoping for.

This is a fascinating lifestyle that's (unfortunately) not for everyone - communication is key, good luck with your journey OP."

Excellent response

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is the big question isn't it... Can you handle it?!? It's one thing to imagine your partner with someone else.... A step further to share that desire and talk about it together (it's fun to discuss together while fucking, isn't it), and it's another step to actually start to do something about it.. join Fab, start to trawl through the endless messages.. Maybe go to a club.. (People always advise to do this.. But it is a bit scary the first time)... And An EVEN bigger step to actually DO IT! To cross that rubicon..

The answer is.. You never know how you will feel until you see your partner with somebody else for the first time.. You might know how you THINK you will feel, and you definitely know that the thought of it is good.. And it goes both ways. The first time we ever did anything as a couple, we went to a club.. and played together in an open room.. Before we knew it we had a large crowd watching, and the Mrs Vanilla-sin invited a guy to join us. He hopped onto the bed, and thrust his cock into her mouth.. And I watched as I fucked her.. We still occasionally discuss this first time.. and We were both nervous - Me wondering if I would actually like watching a stranger fuck her mouth.. Her worrying that I wouldn't like it.. A multitude of unspoken anxieties were bubbling under the surface. But.. (spoiler alert) I did like it.. And we made eye contact, she could see how turned on I was, and she relaxed and enjoyed it from that point. We do this together... And the enjoyment is from the fact the we do so, and that it is just an addition to our already great sex life.

As other people have said: You have to talk about it, and understand your motivation for doing it.. And (this might sound stupid..) But test it.. talk about it at 8:45 on a Monday morning, when you aren't horny.. talk about it after you have just orgasmed.. It's really important that it isn't just the product of the horn.. You have to be secure, and trust each other... If you can do it, then you open up an amazing world of possibilities.. But it isn't for everybody. "

Good advice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andm288Couple
over a year ago

oxford

Another single guy pretending to be a couple go figure

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

communicating is so important discuss your likes and dislikes …. Honesty and transparency is a must! Always remember that if your not happy with a person or situation always speak up …

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/07/22 08:18:11]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton


"This is the big question isn't it... Can you handle it?!? It's one thing to imagine your partner with someone else.... A step further to share that desire and talk about it together (it's fun to discuss together while fucking, isn't it), and it's another step to actually start to do something about it.. join Fab, start to trawl through the endless messages.. Maybe go to a club.. (People always advise to do this.. But it is a bit scary the first time)... And An EVEN bigger step to actually DO IT! To cross that rubicon..

The answer is.. You never know how you will feel until you see your partner with somebody else for the first time.. You might know how you THINK you will feel, and you definitely know that the thought of it is good.. And it goes both ways. The first time we ever did anything as a couple, we went to a club.. and played together in an open room.. Before we knew it we had a large crowd watching, and the Mrs Vanilla-sin invited a guy to join us. He hopped onto the bed, and thrust his cock into her mouth.. And I watched as I fucked her.. We still occasionally discuss this first time.. and We were both nervous - Me wondering if I would actually like watching a stranger fuck her mouth.. Her worrying that I wouldn't like it.. A multitude of unspoken anxieties were bubbling under the surface. But.. (spoiler alert) I did like it.. And we made eye contact, she could see how turned on I was, and she relaxed and enjoyed it from that point. We do this together... And the enjoyment is from the fact the we do so, and that it is just an addition to our already great sex life.

As other people have said: You have to talk about it, and understand your motivation for doing it.. And (this might sound stupid..) But test it.. talk about it at 8:45 on a Monday morning, when you aren't horny.. talk about it after you have just orgasmed.. It's really important that it isn't just the product of the horn.. You have to be secure, and trust each other... If you can do it, then you open up an amazing world of possibilities.. But it isn't for everybody. "

Thanks this great advice I think soft swing is way to go to test waters, our emotions and relationship, thanks again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton

Thanks alot this is great advice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *londieBluey765Couple
over a year ago

HULL

we took our time and first time shared on orgy bed sexy play in club then naughty in cinema room wife pussy licked such hot fun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *enj08475 OP   Man
over a year ago

brighton


"we took our time and first time shared on orgy bed sexy play in club then naughty in cinema room wife pussy licked such hot fun

"

Thanks alot, so is it a lifestyle you would recommend and doesn't spoil a marriage assuming relationship is secure?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"We have our own and couple profile "

What’s your couple profile?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top