FabSwingers.com forum: First time MFM advice

By *azzi2010 OP Man
over a year ago

Leytonstone

My wife and I are thinking about trying a threesome with another man. She's interested but nervous about the idea. Any tips from experienced couples on making it a good first time?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no one can give advice ?? its down to you talk to your wife make sure she knows your totally ok with it and make sure its something she really wants nobody else can hold your hands you either are both on the same page to do it or your not ...its your relationship

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uperjackMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"no one can give advice ?? its down to you talk to your wife make sure she knows your totally ok with it and make sure its something she really wants nobody else can hold your hands you either are both on the same page to do it or your not ...its your relationship "

That’s good advice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Get a couple's account. Then go to organised socials and talk to people. You'll soon find a reliable 'third'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tagvixen40Couple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Communication is key and don't be afraid of saying no at any point.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty masonMan
over a year ago

nowhere

"Communication is key and don't be afraid of saying no at any point."

Most definitely open honest communication is the key But also be conscious of the vibe between everyone, comfortability is important for all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unnyPairCouple
over a year ago

Seminole

MFM can have some very different vibes depending on what the desire is. Is it her wanting two men to satisfy her, is it you wanting to see her satisfy another man, or see another man satisfy her? Maybe you both want to satisfy the man? Is bi stuff in play, is it a hotwife or cuckold role playing thing? Figure out what you hope to wake up smiling about in the morning after an MFM experience and focus on communicating about it to each other.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annaPlayABCCouple
over a year ago

Bacup

All I can say from personal experience of many MMF is..relax/enjoy ..sex is a thing to be enjoyed by people,not just couples I feel,unfortunately its classed as 'taboo' to engage with extra but all I know is it has made our relationship closer than before.

Really hope you all enjoy if it does go ahead my friend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *azzi2010 OP Man
over a year ago

Leytonstone

"MFM can have some very different vibes depending on what the desire is. Is it her wanting two men to satisfy her, is it you wanting to see her satisfy another man, or see another man satisfy her? Maybe you both want to satisfy the man? Is bi stuff in play, is it a hotwife or cuckold role playing thing? Figure out what you hope to wake up smiling about in the morning after an MFM experience and focus on communicating about it to each other."

Knowing what we want out of it before we go into it is good advice. I suspect expectation and reality will be different, not necessarily badly, just not how we imagine it will be. To me that's part of the fun, the exploration aspect, for her it's different.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

As others have said communication is key

I was once part of someone else's first threesome and the lady was understandable nervous and wanted to talk to me before anything happened

I suggest you have a social meet before hand it's always easier to play with people you know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

Both of you need to be open and honest about what you expect from this. Consider rules for you both and a safe word..if you choose to have rules then discuss these with your 3rd party and make sure he is happy with these to and make him understand if any of the rules that you have and he breaks them then play stops..this is key because its your relationship and you don't want to be waking up in the morning feeling upset about something that might have happned that your not happy with and frightened to talk about it...communication is key through the whole thing from msging, arranging,socials, and play,, even after the event make sure that your both happy about how it went..Good luck and enjoy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Don't over complicate things

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lyreelMan
over a year ago

King's lynn

What everybody seems to be missing is the third person, be very very sure he knows what you want, tell him, be clear in what you want, is it gentle or hard, is it sharing or fucking, kissing or no kissing etc etc.

If you are clear, you choose well and carefully, reading the verifications he has, then by all accounts you don’t have to worry.

Don’t spoil it by choosing the wrong one, and there are plenty wrong ones out there, just read some of the couples horror stories!! Eek.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

So many different possible dynamics in MFM or any group sex. Does she want to control to men, or be dominated by two men, or by one with one assistant , or you both take the third guy.

My very first mfm was a bit of a surprise, she wanted to just go with the flow , I didn't like that idea , I wanted the rules to be known and make sure he behaved.

Luckily he was a really nice guy but not all are , one guy actually tried to hi-five me during a spit roast ! so choose very very carefully

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Take it extremely slowly, think about it as being something that might happen in a couple of years, rather than a couple of weeks.

Finding the right guy to fit in with your imagined scenario and dynamic will be difficult, but the key to you both enjoying it and it becoming something you'll both want to experience again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ancs married coupleCouple
over a year ago

Silverdale

We are in the same boat so reading the advice is really useful - thanks everyone! We just assumed someone would fit the bill but yeh like you said, hard? Gentle? Vocal? Quiet? respectful etc. Quite a lot to consider and makes it more challenging to find a suitable candidate!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etro manMan
over a year ago

manchester

You could look for swingers clubs near you check out chat and watch or join in safe places to meet and then maybe meet drinks hotel

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

Let her talk to him and get to know him before the fact and make sure she outlines her dos and donts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

Some great advice here that we hadn’t thought about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big thing for me is remember you can always stop or take a break. Any genuine guy joining you will understand or should that it's your first time. You may love it and dive right in or you may need to take your time and feel your way forward.

Never feel pressured to go all the way and be like a porn scene. Tey to be relaxed and enjoy it, if you need a little break just take a moment or go get a glass of water or nip to the loo.

You can plan to just do some soft play and end up in a DP or you can plan to DP and end up only doing soft play. Everything is and should be OK so try to relax and enjoy with no expectations.

Have fun x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Big thing for me is remember you can always stop or take a break. Any genuine guy joining you will understand or should that it's your first time. You may love it and dive right in or you may need to take your time and feel your way forward.

Never feel pressured to go all the way and be like a porn scene. Tey to be relaxed and enjoy it, if you need a little break just take a moment or go get a glass of water or nip to the loo.

You can plan to just do some soft play and end up in a DP or you can plan to DP and end up only doing soft play. Everything is and should be OK so try to relax and enjoy with no expectations.

Have fun x"

To add to that as others have said communication is key, between you both but the guy as well. Don't get too caught up with rules and plans, definate no no rules are good like no anal or kissing etc if that's what you want but just try to see how things go or you may try to script it (we should do this and this then this) when really just enjoy the now. There can always be a next time can't there....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exfordMan
over a year ago

discombobulated land

That’s good advice. "

That's ironic. They state no one can give advice.. They then give advice and you then compliment them for the advice given. Is anyone else lost now, I am!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

Choose the guy carefully. Make it clear the first meet might just be a social and play develop over further meets. That way there's no pressure on your Mrs or sexual expectations placed on him. Then just all relax and go with the flow.... When meeting others for a social we like to sit with opposite partners to break the ice, test chemistry and allow hands to wander, maybe the odd crafty kiss

. Worked wonders at our last couple meet as Tony got very close to the lovely lady

, Cherry and the guy were very much exposed in our favourite country pub so had to behave till later lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only advice we can give is.

1. You can't unfuck somebody. Once you're doing it, there's no going back.

2. Both of you have to be 100% committed to going ahead with swinging. Any doubt, leave it out.

3. Patience. Don't rush into it or try and force anyone into a situation that can backfire.

4. Let the lady lead the way.

5. Be comfortable in your surroundings.

6. Choose wisely who you both want to play with. There's no room for envy or jealousy.

7. If you do go ahead and play with others, be prepared for the comedown a few days later. The initial buzz will slowly fade, then reality settles in.

8. Be safe. That doesn't always mean just wearing condoms. Check how the other people play, either verifications, or if in a club, take your time to scope out who is doing who and if they play safe.

9. Socialise. Get a feel for the people you meet by general chit chat and use your instincts to see if they are what you are both looking for.

10. Remember its about you two, no outside pressures. Do your own thing at your own pace.

Hope this helps.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only advice we can give is.

1. You can't unfuck somebody. Once you're doing it, there's no going back.

2. Both of you have to be 100% committed to going ahead with swinging. Any doubt, leave it out.

3. Patience. Don't rush into it or try and force anyone into a situation that can backfire.

4. Let the lady lead the way.

5. Be comfortable in your surroundings.

6. Choose wisely who you both want to play with. There's no room for envy or jealousy.

7. If you do go ahead and play with others, be prepared for the comedown a few days later. The initial buzz will slowly fade, then reality settles in.

8. Be safe. That doesn't always mean just wearing condoms. Check how the other people play, either verifications, or if in a club, take your time to scope out who is doing who and if they play safe.

9. Socialise. Get a feel for the people you meet by general chit chat and use your instincts to see if they are what you are both looking for.

10. Remember its about you two, no outside pressures. Do your own thing at your own pace.

Hope this helps."

Solid advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mizhereMan
over a year ago

Thame area

Relax and enjoy is all I can say

Set your boundaries and stick to them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

This is probably some of the best advice I have seen in this thread (other than mine obviously

)

Above all remember it is supposed to be fun.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uicypeaches77Couple
over a year ago

Torquay

Have a good social first , make sure you all enjoy each others company and get on...relaxed and with some chemistry is far more fun I think ...mr

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

Enjoy the build up of setting it up, and looking forward to it, do it away from home, find a suitable guy on here, decide on your limits and wishes, then relax and enjoy, make it a one off till you have had time to decide if you both enjoyed it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We recommend that you first talk about all the potential stuff you will do with each other a bit first. Not when you're just about to have sex or during either as you're probably a bit too horny to think in the same way.

Talk about it with each other in a normal setting, while making tea or doing things that aren't distracting. Do you want your wife to swallow the other man's cum is a good example thing to discuss.

Doing so will help prepare you for the reality of it. Then once you've laid out your boundaries with each other we would recommend visiting a swingers club.

If you go to a club, do point out it's your first time and if you're offered a tour take it as it helps knowing the layout of a place. Then from there it's just a case of talking to people like any other venue.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single male who has previously swung with my ex wife we had a clear policy for meeting men and couples.

Firstly establish it what you both want and not her being pressured either deliberately or inadvertently.

Secondly Always meet the other party for a social first with no playing. This is again to avoid pressure on any party and to establish that mutual attraction and trust. You and your wife can discuss the individual or couple to establish you are all happy to go ahead…

Finally. When you do meet to play, make sure you establish the ground rules and limits

Watch your partner very closely at all times to ensure she is happy and having fun… and not going through the motions!! To please anyone but herself. Also make sure you are happy to watch your loved one being fucked senseless and having fun!! A lot of men are not prepared for that!

Enjoy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichaelsmyMan
over a year ago

douglas

if it feels right go with it. if not dont

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread