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"Sorry meant to say, as a single.lady, you will definitely get approached. Might take a little while, as people will be looking to see if you're with someone. Also worth saying hi to the organiser/bar staff who may be able to introduce you to some regulars as well as giving you the tour." Thank you. I like the idea of making myself know to the organiser and staff and possibly asking for some introductions from them | |||
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"I go to clubs in Leeds solo and find that the regulars look after me. Ive never felt awkward by myself and have always managed to find playmates pretty early in the night. I wouldn't be finding a "chaperone" to take me as you will be seen as part of a couple with that person and if found out as a fake couple it could get you a ban. Safety for single females in clubs isn't an issue as you will find that both staff and regulars will keep an eye out for you." Thank you. Do you find it relatively easy to approach and chat to others, or chat to people who come to you? Thanks for the heads up about the fake couples ban, I think if I were to go with someone I'm not in a relationship with I'd make it super clear that it was a friends situation | |||
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"If you pick a club that has a Jacuzzi, just jump in as we find them to be the best places to break the ice." I won't be getting in if there's ice on it | |||
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"One thing I'd like to try in the future is going to clubs more, and as a single girl this would predominantly mean going on my own, something which I haven't dared to try yet. " Hi OP. The clubs will look after you initially. Places like Quest in Leeds or Cupids in Manchester or indeed any of the clubs within striking distance of Halifax all welcome single ladies and soon put them at ease. Dont get too hung up on the fake couples advice. The club management dont give a toss about your circumstances. Only time they go on the alert is when couples come into a club on a couples night, or as non members as a couple but then the woman leaves and the guy has just used her as a means to get in, either to get get in as a single, or to avoid paying a membership fee. Ive been to clubs many times with my long time lover (were both separately married) and its perfectly normal. We just arrive as a couple, and leave as a couple, which is all the club expects of you if you enter and pay as a couple. As a single (lady or guy) its bloody scary for the first few times but also exhilerating. Good luck | |||
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"One thing I'd like to try in the future is going to clubs more, and as a single girl this would predominantly mean going on my own, something which I haven't dared to try yet. I've loved every club meet I've been to and people have always been lovely and friendly but I've always had a bit of security with going with people I know. Are there any tips from any singles ladies who go to clubs, or even social events solo, about what to do while you're there? Do you sit at the bar trying to catch someone's eye, do you wander over to a couple and go in with an ice breaker? I'd love to get over myself and just grab the opportunity but I can't help feeling I'll be a little awkward! Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you! " Be approchable and be yourself. As a guy in a club i am happy to chat to anyone, but i don't expect them all to fancy me or be what they are looking for and i may not them. Doesn't mean you can't be sociable and chat if only for a short time. Being unsociable isnt sexy at all! | |||
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"Hi I hope you don’t think this is inappropriately misogynistic but I would recommend you find a chaperone if you are visiting clubs and seek security. I’m sure there are plenty of nice chaps who would accompany without any expectations. I would ce rays only do so. I would also recommend that you select a club carefully. " I’m curious why you’d say this. My experience is the opposite - most of the clubs I’ve been to have been very protective of their single women, not just staff but members too. | |||
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"I’m guessing it’s easier for single girls rather than guys at clubs " Definitely. People will often chat to women but totally blank men. Not always though. I went to a club on my own and there was a group of single women there. They totally blanked me and were rowdy and rude. It was clear they thought they owned the place the way they were talking (they made sure that everyone could hear). If I'd chatted to a man they liked I'm sure there would have been trouble. I decided to just leave. | |||
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"Hi I hope you don’t think this is inappropriately misogynistic but I would recommend you find a chaperone if you are visiting clubs and seek security. I’m sure there are plenty of nice chaps who would accompany without any expectations. I would ce rays only do so. I would also recommend that you select a club carefully. I’m curious why you’d say this. My experience is the opposite - most of the clubs I’ve been to have been very protective of their single women, not just staff but members too. " I agree with what he says. One club we went to as a couple, the man on the door (taking the money and signing people in) was telling all the men they would definitely get a fuck that night as it was "greedy girls and they are right sluts". If the club staff can say that it's no wonder some men get annoyed when a woman says no. | |||
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"Thank you for all the brilliant advice given. I definitely hadn't thought about seeing who was going to a club beforehand and dropping them a message through Fab, I'll make sure to do that. Hanging out around the bar, hot tub and smoking area to get chatting sounds good too. They're like neutral ground! " Social areas have less play pressure. Whereas in play rooms etc you can feel peer pressure to join in if asked. | |||
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"Hi I hope you don’t think this is inappropriately misogynistic but I would recommend you find a chaperone if you are visiting clubs and seek security. I’m sure there are plenty of nice chaps who would accompany without any expectations. I would ce rays only do so. I would also recommend that you select a club carefully. " Definitely in our experience this isnot a good idea! Like others have said, seen it go wrong on so many occasions from been a ticket to get in the door to only then fuck off to the play areas to get their willy wet or being controling and isolating you from everyone else due to expectations Your simply better off going on your own, teaming up with other single ladies and been very open to staff and couples you're on your own that way everyone will be keeping an eye out for your welfare. Look after yourself OP and hope it goes well for you | |||
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"Hi I hope you don’t think this is inappropriately misogynistic but I would recommend you find a chaperone if you are visiting clubs and seek security. I’m sure there are plenty of nice chaps who would accompany without any expectations. I would ce rays only do so. I would also recommend that you select a club carefully. " No I don’t recommend a chaperone at all. I’ve done it, it’s gone wrong. Only go with someone you know well. If you tell them you are on your own they will look out for you. | |||
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"One thing I'd like to try in the future is going to clubs more, and as a single girl this would predominantly mean going on my own, something which I haven't dared to try yet. I've loved every club meet I've been to and people have always been lovely and friendly but I've always had a bit of security with going with people I know. Are there any tips from any singles ladies who go to clubs, or even social events solo, about what to do while you're there? Do you sit at the bar trying to catch someone's eye, do you wander over to a couple and go in with an ice breaker? I'd love to get over myself and just grab the opportunity but I can't help feeling I'll be a little awkward! Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you! " Drop me a message and we can always meet there as a social so you know who you’re going to meet - and treat it as a night in the pub x | |||
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"Hi - I like going to clubs but would struggle going on my own. I’d be too nervous and bottle it. I use to go with another women on here , and that worked really well. We’re close ish so if you’re ever looking for a club buddy let me know " Same goes to you, D T W - I’d be up for just meeting you both and asking all about your fab life! I love chatting about sex | |||
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"Sorry meant to say, as a single.lady, you will definitely get approached. Might take a little while, as people will be looking to see if you're with someone. Also worth saying hi to the organiser/bar staff who may be able to introduce you to some regulars as well as giving you the tour." This | |||
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"I'm going for the first time on my own to a club next weekend, I'm crazy nervous but don't have any single friends so having to bite the bullet x" I hope you have a blast! You'll have to come back to this thread to let me know how it all went lol | |||
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"Hi I hope you don’t think this is inappropriately misogynistic but I would recommend you find a chaperone if you are visiting clubs and seek security. I’m sure there are plenty of nice chaps who would accompany without any expectations. I would ce rays only do so. I would also recommend that you select a club carefully. " I would much rather go to a club on my own. Can do my own thing. Agree with all the ladies comments as how to mingle. Would never do it any other way now. You certainly don't need a guy on your arm | |||
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"I always start a conversation in a club with a compliment,"your dress looks lovely" etc. That always seems to be a good starter. " Yes, yes, yes, as it's sincere, honest and a simple line to remember. Fancy dress or the like is when people want to be told that. I posted this before and Halloween is my favourite for that reason. They've put time, money and effort in those outfits and compliments are very welcome. Make them smile=doing the right thing=making friends and networking. | |||
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"I was at a club last night and a young lady walked in with me who was gorgeous! I was a little shocked that she was on her own but then I thought, fair play girl, she knows what she wants !" Who was she? | |||
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"I've been going to clubs my myself for over a decade, when you arrive let the management know it's your first time and ask to be shown around and introduced to a few friendly regulars. I have found them to be very welcoming and friendly places, there is no pressure to be intimate with anyone, and usually I hang around at the bar. I find good conversation starters are letting them know it's your first time and asking them which are the clubs the they attend. I definitely wouldn't look for a chaperone personally, I would be much more uncomfortable going in a venue with somebody I didn't know very well and couldn't be sure of their intentions or behavior, than going in by myself and being free to come and go, and do as I please." Confidence is key. Easier said than done, but I did my first club visit over 3 years ago, only regret...should have done it decades ago. | |||
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"I go to clubs in Leeds solo and find that the regulars look after me. Ive never felt awkward by myself and have always managed to find playmates pretty early in the night. I wouldn't be finding a "chaperone" to take me as you will be seen as part of a couple with that person and if found out as a fake couple it could get you a ban. Safety for single females in clubs isn't an issue as you will find that both staff and regulars will keep an eye out for you." This is true. Whenever I've been at clubs single women do tend to be looked after, which in itself is a positive thing. That being said I've often wondered why single guys (generally) don't get that same attention, but are often left to their own devices. Apologies, not trying to hijack the thread - just an observation. As others have said staying by the bar and chatting tends to get results, as does a hot tub. Good luck! | |||
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"I was at a club last night and a young lady walked in with me who was gorgeous! I was a little shocked that she was on her own but then I thought, fair play girl, she knows what she wants ! Who was she?" Not a clue? She had very sexy underwear on | |||
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"One thing I'd like to try in the future is going to clubs more, and as a single girl this would predominantly mean going on my own, something which I haven't dared to try yet. I've loved every club meet I've been to and people have always been lovely and friendly but I've always had a bit of security with going with people I know. Are there any tips from any singles ladies who go to clubs, or even social events solo, about what to do while you're there? Do you sit at the bar trying to catch someone's eye, do you wander over to a couple and go in with an ice breaker? I'd love to get over myself and just grab the opportunity but I can't help feeling I'll be a little awkward! Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you! " Firstly, I'm not a single lady, but I can't help noticing that you are from Halifax. Swingers clubs are VERY different to the Acapulco. In the Aca, shaping some moves is always gonna be a winner, especially as the music is turned up too loud for any kind of convo. However, in a swingers club, the music is more seductive and played more at a reasonable level. Do spend some time at the bar, but after your drink is served, wander off politely. Wander around, but try not to follow any one person specifically. Go to the loo. Take a shower. If you're brave enough, strip off and then ask if there's enough space in the hot tub for one more? Pull on a bathrobe and wander out to the smoking area. Hope That Helps? | |||
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"The wierd thing I found about clubs as a single guy was how angry some couples can get and some single ladies when I politely turn them down, it seemed like as a single male in a club I should automaticly be all over them begging to have sex and that really isn't the case for me I'm not there to have sex with every one regardless of atraction I have standard's, I stopped going because of this." Same applies for us ladies too, just because I have chatted at the bar with a guy for a few minutes does not translate to me being fair game for groping and a guaranteed fuck I'll chat to everyone but can be selective about who I take things further with, same as everyone else. | |||
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"The wierd thing I found about clubs as a single guy was how angry some couples can get and some single ladies when I politely turn them down, it seemed like as a single male in a club I should automaticly be all over them begging to have sex and that really isn't the case for me I'm not there to have sex with every one regardless of atraction I have standard's, I stopped going because of this." 100% agree. Refusal does offend some! Hasn't stopped me going to clubs though. | |||
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"Hi I hope you don’t think this is inappropriately misogynistic but I would recommend you find a chaperone if you are visiting clubs and seek security. I’m sure there are plenty of nice chaps who would accompany without any expectations. I would ce rays only do so. I would also recommend that you select a club carefully. " I go to clubs frequently on my own and have done for 15 years. I'd NEVER, EVER seek a chaperone !!! All clubs I've been to are safe and fun for everyone and especially females. Plus you would then be seen as a couple and your experience would be different. | |||
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"The wierd thing I found about clubs as a single guy was how angry some couples can get and some single ladies when I politely turn them down, it seemed like as a single male in a club I should automaticly be all over them begging to have sex and that really isn't the case for me I'm not there to have sex with every one regardless of atraction I have standard's, I stopped going because of this." Er don't we all have standards and ask yourself would you be more interested and proposition more appealing people than yourself (age, size, looks etc.)? That is an experience that all of us can have be it online or in clubs M, MF and F we know that because we where both singles on the scene before we met It's a element of attraction that isn't just confined in the swinging world either | |||
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"You should b able to walk into a club and there be a even no of guys to girls and the staff and customers friendly watever club u go to " I agree! Still hoping…… | |||
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"The wierd thing I found about clubs as a single guy was how angry some couples can get and some single ladies when I politely turn them down, it seemed like as a single male in a club I should automaticly be all over them begging to have sex and that really isn't the case for me I'm not there to have sex with every one regardless of atraction I have standard's, I stopped going because of this." Never had to beg in my life. I'm the one sat on a stool at the bar sipping a drink, with my pinkie in the air | |||
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"The wierd thing I found about clubs as a single guy was how angry some couples can get and some single ladies when I politely turn them down, it seemed like as a single male in a club I should automaticly be all over them begging to have sex and that really isn't the case for me I'm not there to have sex with every one regardless of atraction I have standard's, I stopped going because of this." Fair point. | |||
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"One thing I'd like to try in the future is going to clubs more, and as a single girl this would predominantly mean going on my own, something which I haven't dared to try yet. I've loved every club meet I've been to and people have always been lovely and friendly but I've always had a bit of security with going with people I know. Are there any tips from any singles ladies who go to clubs, or even social events solo, about what to do while you're there? Do you sit at the bar trying to catch someone's eye, do you wander over to a couple and go in with an ice breaker? I'd love to get over myself and just grab the opportunity but I can't help feeling I'll be a little awkward! Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you! " Just be yourself and have a float around. Make sure you tell the club you are a single lady attending alone, any decent club will keep an eye on you. I go to greedy girls alone and never had a problem, most guys are brilliant but make sure you tell them what you want or don't want. Also remember single guys are as nervous as you, don't be like some ladies I have seen who somehow get a rise out of making single guys feel uncomfortable. Single guys can get a bad press but we have found some ladies are the worse culprits, seem to think as they are the belle of the ball in a swingers club the can lord it about where in reality outside a swingers club in a normal bar they wouldn't get a second glance. I try to treat single guys with respect and courtesy. Have a great time, it's a massive confidence booster. | |||
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"I have to say as a single woman who visits clubs alone and with friends that the only thing a guy "chaperone" does is cramp your style! I'm actually surprised here how many people are saying don't go alone. It's absolutely ridiculous. If you don't feel like you can say no and defend yourself, regardless of who you go with you shouldn't be going to a club. And the fact that men on here feel like they can keep a woman safe is the most old fashioned, bull shit, misogynistic statement I've ever heard. It's actually laughable. Whatever you need to tell yourselves, at least then you have a purpose right? Instead of just being a dick to use basically. " This^^ | |||
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"I'd love to get over myself and just grab the opportunity but I can't help feeling I'll be a little awkward! " Hi OP, The truth is every one of us who has ever attended a club or social has had the same feeling, even if it was for the briefest of moments. You are not alone in your thoughts and usually someone will notice it and invite you to join them or come and introduce themself to you. Suck it up for a few minutes and you'll be fine. Good luck | |||
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