FabSwingers.com forum: Am I wrong?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey Fabbers

I'm a single bi girl, known as a unicorn, which I dont mind. I enjoy some attention at the moment and do get quite a few messages. My biggest desire would be to find a life partner and continue to swing as long as both of us enjoy it. But until then happy to flirt and enjoy regular meets.

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

However when I mentioned that we would both potentially see others, he took a major step back and said he wasnt interested. I tried to say that we started chatting on a swinging site and what that entails but hee was adamant, a woman seeing other men was not for him.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me....

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me...."

Don't worry about it as it's just another example of the blatant hypocrisy that is rampant on here. You just be you and enjoy the things you want.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me....

Don't worry about it as it's just another example of the blatant hypocrisy that is rampant on here. You just be you and enjoy the things you want."

Thank you, I was starting to think there was something wrong with me....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely wrong to turn the tables when it suits you, especially when you’ve met on a swinging platform.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know what you want and your happy with that, so therefore why should you negotiate??

If you want an exclusive relationship then so be it, but I wouldn’t let someone dictate their wishes or demands over your preferences.

Your not wrong, you were being honest about what you want, cannot fault that, good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Completely wrong to turn the tables when it suits you, especially when you’ve met on a swinging platform."

That's what I thought but he made me feel like I knew what he wanted....thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You know what you want and your happy with that, so therefore why should you negotiate??

If you want an exclusive relationship then so be it, but I wouldn’t let someone dictate their wishes or demands over your preferences.

Your not wrong, you were being honest about what you want, cannot fault that, good luck. "

Thank you

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

"You know what you want and your happy with that, so therefore why should you negotiate??

If you want an exclusive relationship then so be it, but I wouldn’t let someone dictate their wishes or demands over your preferences.

Your not wrong, you were being honest about what you want, cannot fault that, good luck.

Thank you"

Yes dump and move on, you don't need a posesive dickhead.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You know what you want and your happy with that, so therefore why should you negotiate??

If you want an exclusive relationship then so be it, but I wouldn’t let someone dictate their wishes or demands over your preferences.

Your not wrong, you were being honest about what you want, cannot fault that, good luck.

Thank you

Yes dump and move on, you don't need a posesive dickhead."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me...."

Hey darling

I am also a 'unicorn' and I feel you.

It is one of the many double standards that exist on fab and is the difference between those who are here to fuck and those who are here to swing.

I have had a similar experience to you, it's difficult but you just have to accept that those people Rent 'your people'.

Swinging isn't wrong. You know this. It is difficult to find someone who has hands to big enough to carry the crown of a proper swinger though. This applies to guys finding woman to.

If you are enjoying yourself and want to continue doing what you're doing then do it. If it isn't fulfilling then don't. But do all it for you and not because of someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know what you want and your happy with that, so therefore why should you negotiate??

If you want an exclusive relationship then so be it, but I wouldn’t let someone dictate their wishes or demands over your preferences.

Your not wrong, you were being honest about what you want, cannot fault that, good luck. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me....

Hey darling

I am also a 'unicorn' and I feel you.

It is one of the many double standards that exist on fab and is the difference between those who are here to fuck and those who are here to swing.

I have had a similar experience to you, it's difficult but you just have to accept that those people Rent 'your people'.

Swinging isn't wrong. You know this. It is difficult to find someone who has hands to big enough to carry the crown of a proper swinger though. This applies to guys finding woman to.

If you are enjoying yourself and want to continue doing what you're doing then do it. If it isn't fulfilling then don't. But do all it for you and not because of someone else.

Thank you hun

I never thought that I'd chat to a guy on here who wanted exclusivity with no meet, no phone call or even anything planned. I did one of those cartoon double takes when he kicked off!

I appreciate all responses x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me....

Hey darling

I am also a 'unicorn' and I feel you.

It is one of the many double standards that exist on fab and is the difference between those who are here to fuck and those who are here to swing.

I have had a similar experience to you, it's difficult but you just have to accept that those people Rent 'your people'.

Swinging isn't wrong. You know this. It is difficult to find someone who has hands to big enough to carry the crown of a proper swinger though. This applies to guys finding woman to.

If you are enjoying yourself and want to continue doing what you're doing then do it. If it isn't fulfilling then don't. But do all it for you and not because of someone else.

Thank you hun

I never thought that I'd chat to a guy on here who wanted exclusivity with no meet, no phone call or even anything planned. I did one of those cartoon double takes when he kicked off!

I appreciate all responses x"

Look back at this experience and reflect on it. I may feel, if I were in your shoes, that a guy that wanted exclusivity without meeting me or even speaking to me may be more trouble than he was worth.

Maybe I'm a cynic or maybe ima realist. Either way sounds like trouble to me x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me....

Hey darling

I am also a 'unicorn' and I feel you.

It is one of the many double standards that exist on fab and is the difference between those who are here to fuck and those who are here to swing.

I have had a similar experience to you, it's difficult but you just have to accept that those people Rent 'your people'.

Swinging isn't wrong. You know this. It is difficult to find someone who has hands to big enough to carry the crown of a proper swinger though. This applies to guys finding woman to.

If you are enjoying yourself and want to continue doing what you're doing then do it. If it isn't fulfilling then don't. But do all it for you and not because of someone else.

Thank you hun

I never thought that I'd chat to a guy on here who wanted exclusivity with no meet, no phone call or even anything planned. I did one of those cartoon double takes when he kicked off!

I appreciate all responses x

Maybe I'm a cynic or maybe ima realist. Either way sounds like trouble to me x "

I have been reflecting this evening and others have said the same as you, he was trouble

...

Thank you

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Imagine this, the other way around with a guy posting this about a woman.

Unfortunately, I'm on his side. Let him be. If he wants exclusivity, that's what he wants - there's no problem with that.

Me being on here implies nothing. I still wish to retain all of my rights. I may meet someone, I may not, I may want exclusivity, I may not!

The same as everyone else, we reserve the right to state what we want.

It may be painful, bit imagine it the other way around.

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By *atex and KinkCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"You know what you want and your happy with that, so therefore why should you negotiate??

If you want an exclusive relationship then so be it, but I wouldn’t let someone dictate their wishes or demands over your preferences.

Your not wrong, you were being honest about what you want, cannot fault that, good luck.

Thank you

Yes dump and move on, you don't need a posesive dickhead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s fine to want what you want, everyone is entitled to that, but to assume that the other person wants the same thing is where things go wrong. Especially after not having even met

Red flags are flying high and you should be thankful that you learnt about this before meeting.

Some men, even on here have double standards.. it’s ok for a man to shag his way around the site but not ok for a woman to do the same

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By *urocougarCouple
over a year ago

watton

The guy was just a possessive arse hole id say who can’t cope with swinging scene there is a lot like that I’m afraid darling I’d say over 50% of guys in the scene do the same to there partners at some point we seen it a lot guys can fuck who they want but the female cannot and they can only play with women as the guy is insecure and thinks another guy may fuck his partner better than he can which is very sad

A real swinging couple should not act like this if they do they in the wrong lifestyle I think you had a lucky escape happy swinging girl xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The guy was just a possessive arse hole id say who can’t cope with swinging scene there is a lot like that I’m afraid darling I’d say over 50% of guys in the scene do the same to there partners at some point we seen it a lot guys can fuck who they want but the female cannot and they can only play with women as the guy is insecure and thinks another guy may fuck his partner better than he can which is very sad

A real swinging couple should not act like this if they do they in the wrong lifestyle I think you had a lucky escape happy swinging girl xxx

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By *assy211279Woman
over a year ago

middle of nowhere Cornwall

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me...."

You are like me just I don't want any relationship with strings ever again. Not worth the hassle. Well unless it is with a bi woman we can then share each other and the men. I stop talking to any man who shows signs of being jealous. Why do some men get the wrong idea. Like it is good for them but not us. You are good and enjoy this place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me...."

Hi I'm a fellow unicorn looking for similar. I have experience similar. Stick to your guns and one day we will find that person to suit us.

Stay strong and enjoy what comes.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me...."

You’re not wrong honey but my take on it is if you are in a life partnership even though you meet on a swingers site, the guy may not want another person to be sexual with you the woman he loves. It’s okay to be when there are no feelings involved. I could not see a man I love enjoying sex with others. I don’t understand how couples in love do it.

However you know what you want and need somebody who wants the same as you.

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By *ongueteaserforyouMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

You know my thoughts, I'm here for you and with you 100%

Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously an arse hole. One of the main reasons I want to meet people via this site is that they obviously enjoy sex and the experience of new partners. I'd want to help any female partner to enjoy her sexuality to the full. If she wanted me to help her try something different ...be that go to an adult cinema or dogging or having DP or a gangbang I would be happy to help. I wouldn't expect exclusivity and when the relationship came to it's end I would wish her well in her new ventures.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No you're not wrong but he isn't either. Neither is he an arsehole, possessive a stalker etc etc. I'd remind people that badmouthing another site user is against forum rules.

There are very many people on fab who don't want to swing with a long term partner and many of them are women. The key to a good experience on fab is honesty (which this guy displayed) and respect for other people's preferences and requirements even if they aren't the same as yours.

Lay off the guy and accept that other people don't want the same as you

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"No you're not wrong but he isn't either. Neither is he an arsehole, possessive a stalker etc etc. I'd remind people that badmouthing another site user is against forum rules.

Lay off the guy and accept that other people don't want the same as you "

Spot on, there seem to be some very judgemental people commenting, and prescribing what "swinging" is and why people should come to this website, (which even in these stressful times of lock down is not the centre of the world). You want what you want, and you're certainly not wrong, he wants what he wants, and he's not wrong, you both luckily found out they weren't the same thing before meeting up, the purpose of swapping messages before meeting up?

Just a thought though as there are some odd folks out there.... For your own safety you may want to keep your comms on the site until you've established some trust.

As a unicorn though, you are not going to be short of guys approaching you so hopefully have better luck in the future.

The beauty of this "thing" we do is that there is something for everyone.

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

"No you're not wrong but he isn't either. Neither is he an arsehole, possessive a stalker etc etc. I'd remind people that badmouthing another site user is against forum rules.

Lay off the guy and accept that other people don't want the same as you "

Well put!

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I think this is common. A friend of mine used to state from the first meet she wasn’t looking for exclusive and that she had male friends she would continue to see. When the dust settles and the guys had his fun they more than often say they can’t handle it and move on.

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By *edburymanMan
over a year ago

Bromley

I am friends with a couple who did exactly what you like. Just be open and honest when you talk to people. If they don't like it, they should say so. It's odd to me that someone would be like that from fab, for sure.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It happens sometimes that people like you so much that they can suddenly insist on trying to change the rules and become obsessive. It's ideal if their tendencies show early on, as it can prevent very uncomfortable or even dangerous situations.

It's good that the lockdown has allowed some time and space to help us to get to know people better before moving closer.

It's never anything wrong with us when we are clear and open but somebody wants us to be different from the reality. It's wise to be cautious and to look after ourselves.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Had a similar situation recently. Chatting to someone, all quite positive initially, then he went into a full on rant about how he isn't into clubs/swapping/threesomes etc & only interested in an exclusive situation.

Now that's absolutely fine, everyone has their own preferences and is looking for their own thing. But what isn't OK is to pass judgement or make out that others are wrong for not having the same preferences as you, especially not on a site like this . Why not read a profile in the first place & only message people who have matching interests to yours?

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By *anshee99Woman
over a year ago

all over

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me...."

I've noticed this quite a number of times since rejoining fab this time around. Seems theres not that many swingers out there anymore

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Too many non swingers using Fab as a hook up site.

Ignore him. I met my partner in a club, we still swing and still go to clubs.

I couldn’t have a monogamous relationship, it’d last 5 minutes. It’s not who I am.

He’s entitled to want a monogamous relationship, and you’re entitled not to want that. What he’s not entitled to do is make you feel bad about who you are. And for that reason, he definitely IS an arsehole!!

Move on & keep having fun! x

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By *quirt1810Woman
over a year ago

Boston

Snap, I’ve had exactly the same, I’ve met 2 people since my time on here that were supposed to want the same as I did, but eventually they both said the same , they wanted more than meaningless sex.

I didn’t feel it was meaningless as we got to know each other well and I believed us to be friends as well. For me it wasn’t that they wanted to move on, both would be with me if I gave up this site, it’s just not going to happen though. Well until the Zimmer frame comes out !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

99% of men would love a gf that wants to swing but they just want it to be "their" idea!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never change the real you to try and keep someone.

When I met Abby she was the first partner I’d ever been able to be honest to, not only sex but on every level.

The same for her. “Abby” was able to exist openly and on a daily basis.

Swinging was a new thing for both of us. Luckily we love it and get great pleasure out of watching each other in a group situation.

Monogamy isn’t for us and we couldn’t be with a partner who needed that.

I don’t think either of you are wrong in this situation but you certainly weren’t right for each other.

Miss V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me...."

Your life. Your sex life. Play it as you wish. Nobody can dictate to you, or has any right tojudge you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah been in the same boat.

Meet off here then he got all jealous that I was still on and meeting other guys.

I quote ( that pussy is now mine)

Erm no thanks.

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By *bcums3Couple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

"Yeah been in the same boat.

Meet off here then he got all jealous that I was still on and meeting other guys.

I quote ( that pussy is now mine)

Erm no thanks. "

Spat my drink out reading that quote from the guy ...I assume he was given the boot very quickly after that comment!!!.... Cheeky b****r

(f)

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)

"Hey Fabbers

I started chatting to a guy on here whose profile mentioned looking to meet women and couples. We got chatting and moved off fab to continue messaging.

I actually feel wrong for being into swinging and enjoying attention from other guys, I presumed that everyone I chatted to understood this? Is it not a precursor to coming on here?

Any support would be appreciated as this has upset me...."

He is just a hypoctritcal cockwomble of the highest order, and you have done nothing wrong. Idiots like this make my blood boil. I hope you feel better about it soon, Take care and stay safe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah been in the same boat.

Meet off here then he got all jealous that I was still on and meeting other guys.

I quote ( that pussy is now mine)

Erm no thanks.

Spat my drink out reading that quote from the guy ...I assume he was given the boot very quickly after that comment!!!.... Cheeky b****r

(f) "

Yeah after he said that.

I was like thanks but no thanks.

So he got the hump and left the site.

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By *bcums3Couple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

"Yeah been in the same boat.

Meet off here then he got all jealous that I was still on and meeting other guys.

I quote ( that pussy is now mine)

Erm no thanks.

Spat my drink out reading that quote from the guy ...I assume he was given the boot very quickly after that comment!!!.... Cheeky b****r

(f)

Yeah after he said that.

I was like thanks but no thanks.

So he got the hump and left the site.

Haha of course he did!!..away in a huff lol

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I'll bet he still wanted to meet others though OP.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

No, you're not wrong - he is. We are on a swingers site, so yes it goes without saying that those on here are interested in, or at the very least open to, swinging now and therefore continuing to swing in the future. Like, duh? If he started chatting to you about getting into a relationship (which seems super weird to me in the first place seeing as you'd never even met up or anything yet...) and then did a 180 and insisted he's not looking for a partner who wants to meet other people (read: swinging), then he's in the wrong place, plain and simple. Like, at the VERY least he should put on his profile that he's not looking for swingers/swinging but instead a sexually exclusive monogamous relationship, and even then it's questionable why he's on here for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As this is a swingers website then swinging is expected. You know what you are looking for and that all good.

For him like most single guys they think Fab just a sex buffet and probably don't think or concider how they would feel being part of a swinging couple. Its perfectly reasonable for single man or woman to feel they would not be comfortable in that different scenario. Would two single people meeting for sex actually be considered as swinging??

You are a swinger and enjoy that part of your life. He clearly is not and has lost the point of this site. You have done nothing wrong at all. I would say that the guy is confused at the situation he was in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Imagine this, the other way around with a guy posting this about a woman.

Unfortunately, I'm on his side. Let him be. If he wants exclusivity, that's what he wants - there's no problem with that.

Me being on here implies nothing. I still wish to retain all of my rights. I may meet someone, I may not, I may want exclusivity, I may not!

The same as everyone else, we reserve the right to state what we want.

It may be painful, bit imagine it the other way around.

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