FabSwingers.com forum: Honesty

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Be honest is being honest the best thing,ive been honest with ppl on my profile,but ive had a lot of agro for it.So would it be better to lie even though its not really my style????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lie a bit and tell you have a huge cock.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

ok...

deep breath...its the word honest that i think pisses people off, you arent...

Stop looking for support and sympathy on a site full of couples in a happy loving relationship and if u must be here keep your head down...

Personally i reckon if u will lie to the person u are supposed to love why not lie on your profile...after all that word honesty clearly means little to you

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Be honest is being honest the best thing,ive been honest with ppl on my profile,but ive had a lot of agro for it.So would it be better to lie even though its not really my style????"

Try one of the married and cheating sites.

Swingers are people with a set lifestyle not an easy lay and people who will sleep with just anyone. They have choice and are capable of making their own decsions as to whether they will meet you. If you joined a swinging site because you thought you'd get loads of easy sex.......... you now realise how wrong you were.

If you get aggro because you are mailing people who don't like cheaters, then ignore it or in the case of real abuse, report it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not all people on this site are bothered about meeting men who are cheating on their wives. you sound quite nice on your profile, maybe you shouldnt mention that you are married as plenty of other people on here dont. it does sometimes put me off a bit when men say they are cheating on their wives, i think they might be miserable sods or people who keep going on about their wives, and i am not in the least bit interested.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

But, if you don't mention it on your.profile do mention it during the first few messages. You'll get more anger if people feel they've been lied to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But, if you don't mention it on your.profile do mention it during the first few messages. You'll get more anger if people feel they've been lied to."

maybe they wont find out though.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

Swingers are people with a set lifestyle not an easy lay and people who will sleep with just anyone. "

Why does being a cheater mean you will 'sleep with just anyone'.

I am sure there are couples and unattached singles who will do the same. Don't generalise because of your thoughts

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"But, if you don't mention it on your.profile do mention it during the first few messages. You'll get more anger if people feel they've been lied to.

maybe they wont find out though."

It's usually possible to spot.

And if you do hide it that well and meet a couple who take swinging and the inherent honesty it demands of them as a couple very seriously then they will feel very upset about it.

There are people who have no problem meeting attacheds, better not to deceive and not get caught out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be honest is being honest the best thing,ive been honest with ppl on my profile,but ive had a lot of agro for it.So would it be better to lie even though its not really my style????"

I dont agree with married men cheating on their wives, but at least this guy is being open with people on here about that fact and isnt taking the deception to further depths...its up to them then if they persue him or not...that said, this probably isnt the best site to be on...try benaughty or fishforfanny (errr i mean POF), you might have more luck there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To declare yourself as an honest person, requires that you are honest in all aspects. If you are happy to lie to the person closest to you why would you be concerned about strangers?

Many on the forums at least would prefer not to get involved with "cheaters", for a number of reasons, but some will, and I guess the same would apply statistically across the whole site.

There is one person on this planet who you must always be honest with, yourself. To everyone else you should be fair, and mostly truthful, but the bum never looks big in whatever!

Put what you wish on your profile, and expect the same. Not in your situation and if either of us were, we would not be on here. Good luck, have fun, but if you get caught and the shit hits the fan, try not to take the site or anyone from the site down with you.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"But, if you don't mention it on your.profile do mention it during the first few messages. You'll get more anger if people feel they've been lied to.

maybe they wont find out though."

I think it depends how you play though. If you meet one offs in hotels, "meet today" without too much interaction, meet in clubs etc of course you're not going to find out...as you'd probably be the type that doesn't care.

If like me you like to get to know people, talk on the phone, meet socially, meet in their home as well as yours...and not during the day, I can tell you they might as well wear a sign around their neck "playing away".

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"But, if you don't mention it on your.profile do mention it during the first few messages. You'll get more anger if people feel they've been lied to.

maybe they wont find out though.

That should be "playing away" if they can't.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Along with the paranoia about a coffee meet! Lol the attacks I get about that make me laugh, don't they realise that they're making it obvious that their wedding ring has been slipped into their left pocket as they walked in to Starbucks!

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

What about a person in an open relationship with a partner that doesn't swing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about a person in an open relationship with a partner that doesn't swing? "

for some, the fact you have a partner is enough

they don't want to know the whys and wherefores (or, as some see them, excuses)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Along with the paranoia about a coffee meet! Lol the attacks I get about that make me laugh, don't they realise that they're making it obvious that their wedding ring has been slipped into their left pocket as they walked in to Starbucks!

saw that once or twice and at chams when the wedding ring is gone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well the way I look at it is simple……

If a stranger sends me a message which clearly indicates they tell lies on their on profile, how can they expect me to believe what’s written in their message’s either…..

To me every aspect of safe-successful swinging with new partners necessitates strangers placing an element of trust in each-other …

So why risk trusting anything a stranger that tells lies, says too you! Eh!…………

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i mention trust and gut feeling and i get laughed at. BUT its true

honesty, trust and my gut feeling i always go with

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

you say should you lie when its not your style, but you are living a lie arent you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i love when they claim they are honest and says " my wife/partner doesnt know"

makes me give them a ummm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont lower your standards. Honesty IS the best policy and im sure you will get your rewards eventually.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"What about a person in an open relationship with a partner that doesn't swing?

for some, the fact you have a partner is enough

they don't want to know the whys and wherefores (or, as some see them, excuses)"

That is my view. With do many men to choose from for NSA sex, I bring the drama...don't need any more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i love when they claim they are honest and says " my wife/partner doesnt know"

makes me give them a ummm

but what about when their wife or partner does know ?

mine knows, but doesn't want to know ANYTHING about this side of my life

when i make people aware of that, they either have the option to walk away or take my word that she does know

as i said to a poster above, the fact a guy (or a gal) has a partner at all with deter many

that is one thing we have to accept

as with all aspects that come down to choice, concentrating on those that ARE interested is far more fulfilling than concentrating on those that aren't

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By *weetcheekstooWoman
over a year ago

southampton

honesty is the best policy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everybody lies.

Anyone that tells you different is a liar.

People will either want to play with you or they wont. There are plenty on here who declare they don't care if your married / cheating or not.

The only real shame is when you compromise your own morals for the sake of a leg over.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

If you keep lying about everything then no one will find out.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"not all people on this site are bothered about meeting men who are cheating on their wives. you sound quite nice on your profile, maybe you shouldnt mention that you are married as plenty of other people on here dont. it does sometimes put me off a bit when men say they are cheating on their wives, i think they might be miserable sods or people who keep going on about their wives, and i am not in the least bit interested."

so your solution would be to "lie by omission" instead.... Wow!!! Absolutely stunned...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you keep lying about everything then no one will find out.

Haha,,, nice try Munkles, but what if we don't believe that’s really your honest opinion ? eh... hmmmm... eh....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to have a very good memory to be a liar. I know someone who lies about everything and over the years I've heard two versions of the same story and so on. I can't rely on any information they have, I certainly can't trust them, I have to guard my words in front of them in case they turn them into more lies.... y'know... it's not good.

Honesty is always the best policy. Being up front about being married and playing is to be commended. 99.9% won't ever let on about it, or wait for an oppurtune moment to do so and be damned. It immediately sets you at a disadvantage to others, but It's a better disadvantage than being dishonest at least.

Good luck

Wolf

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"Dont lower your standards. Honesty IS the best policy and im sure you will get your rewards eventually."

yes, im certain OP will get everything he deserves sooner or later lol

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"If you keep lying about everything then no one will find out.

Haha,,, nice try Munkles, but what if we don't believe that’s really your honest opinion ? eh... hmmmm... eh....

Ha! Then you would be lying to yourself old friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing about lying is it almost always bites you in the ass. Which possibly isn't a big deal for you if a couple finds out after the event, after all you will have already got your leg over. but it's more of a big deal to me if I find out that a guy that we've shagged has been married, it really makes me feel like a bit of a twat.

You already have your conscience beaten down into a little box within yourself or you wouldn't be on here, with me my conscience is all free and floaty and therefore when something niggles at it I get consumed in guilt.

Worst of all tho, if you didn't tell someone and allow them to make an informed choice and you're wife found out and went screeching at their door you could be seriously messing up some totally innocent peoples lives. At least if they were informed they could allow for that possibility and make their own choice if it was worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather people were honest so i can make an informed choice not to get messed up in their crap.. being dishonest can hurt many people in the long run... yourself included, but i think its kind of ironic people that moan about being honest and people not wanting to play or be involved with them when they are being dishonest to the one person in the world who should matter the most

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"Worst of all tho, if you didn't tell someone and allow them to make an informed choice and you're wife found out and went screeching at their door you could be seriously messing up some totally innocent peoples lives. At least if they were informed they could allow for that possibility and make their own choice if it was worth it."

see thats my big thing.

trying to be constructive and not shoot OP down in flames.

imagine the scene, you go to a single fem/couples house, and you are doing what we all enjoy doing.

meanwhile, you missus is sat outside just bubbling with rage after one of her friends saw you sat in a pub with a couple/female having a drink and getting to know each other.

she then proceeds to scream and shout, hammering on the door, outing the female/couple to all their neighbours, which they possibly wouldnt want at all, and you walk away, obviously to sweet talk your missus around, while thier reputation is in tatters in their local community.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

honesty is very important to me and i would like to be given a choice before i met them

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"honesty is very important to me and i would like to be given a choice before i met them"

I totally agree. I want to know if somebody is attached as I would not meet them; not because I disagree with their moral stance but because I dont want to be part of it. It would worry and upset me to be at the receiving end of a phone call by a distraught wife/ gfriend.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

[Removed by poster at 01/05/12 18:42:41]

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Swingers are people with a set lifestyle not an easy lay and people who will sleep with just anyone.

Why does being a cheater mean you will 'sleep with just anyone'.

I am sure there are couples and unattached singles who will do the same. Don't generalise because of your thoughts"

Where did I say that being a cheater means that you will sleep with anyone?

Try reading the whole post next time and not just a section that you think you can twist, and you will see that I said that swingers choose a lifestyle, they are not an easy lay or people who will sleep with just anybody........ well, at least thats how everyone else read it!

and the rest of the post never said anything of the sort either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We as a couple, feel that there are reasons for someone to play away from home, that is their business, and they may have their own reasons. However as a couple we don't want to contribute to the anguish or upset that may evidently ensue, if and when the partner finds out. Albeit we appreciate honesty from the outset, it then gives us the chance to decide, as to whether we want to go on and have fun with that person, have to say we would not play with someone who is not honest to their partner or us , if we found out they were lying, would immediately have no further dealing with them. If the partner is aware and does not mind then it would not be a problem for us, although we would want confirmation.

We as a swinging couple, are here because we are honest with each other and both want to explore our boundaries and sexual experiences together, but cannot and will not judge others reasoning for doing what they ultimately decide to do.

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