FabSwingers.com forum: What's YOUR excuse for not doing the London Marathon?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm waiting till its re-named London-Snickers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would die...

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I don't live anywhere near London anymore.

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

I am in Inverness riding Etape Loch Ness instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m waiting it to be renamed....walkers

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

"I would die...

I would give you mouth to mouth.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Already done it

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

I've ran 26 miles before why do it again.

Agreed it has been 26 miles over 40 odd years but hey

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I've ran 26 miles before why do it again.

Agreed it has been 26 miles over 40 odd years but hey

It's 26.2 miles.....the .2 is very important

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My joints and the rest of my body would be fucked

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

My breasts wouldn't survive the impact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't want to drive 26 miles in London,let alone,run.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would die...

I would give you mouth to mouth.

Charmer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once was all that was needed. Done it and that's off the bucket list. Many more challenges to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would probably die. But my brother is doing it tomorrow. Raised over 7k. Very proud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the basis that I can't be arsed doing the Belfast Marathon, I definately can't be arsed heading all the way to London at great personal expense to avoid doing that too.

Oh and my knees wouldn't handle it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im too fat

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"I've ran 26 miles before why do it again.

Agreed it has been 26 miles over 40 odd years but hey

It's 26.2 miles.....the .2 is very important

I've heard that before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm chunky and massively out of shape. I want to die doing something fun, not needlessly running in a big circle.

Sin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just lazy really. I'd do it if someone pushed my bed with me in it, gently so not to wake me

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t do running.

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By *ak777Man
over a year ago

shaw

i.m a lazy bastard.

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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

I can never get a place, so have done different ones instead.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

No one needs to see me run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a perfectly good car, if I need to go 26 miles I’ll use that.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Managed to get in via the ballot in 2013, unfortunately didn’t get in for this year, but will try again

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

I can't do vertical running

T x

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By *upremexMan
over a year ago

liverpool. huyton. near yewtree

They would not let me go round in the car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didnt even know it was on, and I'm erm ... washing my hair?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I can afford a bus ticket to get me from one side of London to the other.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

It’s gonna rain and my trainers would get wet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'd be a broken man half way round. Worse the next day when I go rigid from all the damage. I'd be out for a week.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I drove 26 miles and it felt like a long way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The air pollution is too high.

When Mayor Khan manages to reduce it to safe levels I'll consider doing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm waiting till its re-named London-Snickers"

Excellent!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I didn't get in through the ballot.

Will be there cheering all day though and for the third year will set up a mini cheering spot for the runners running for the charity my gf ran for in 2016

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't have an excuse but my reason is I don't want to.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Can't smoke and run at the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't smoke and run at the same time. "

Preach! Seriously thought I wouldn’t even make a mile, I get knackered just watching them.

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By *am4CamWoman
over a year ago

Fairy Land

I’m shite at running.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have an excuse but my reason is I don't want to. "

I came on just to say this but you beat me to it and now I'd just look like a copy cat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not desperate enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit far from me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possible Social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Athletes foot

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Can't smoke and run at the same time.

Preach! Seriously thought I wouldn’t even make a mile, I get knackered just watching them."

I'd love to give up the ciggies, its 1 of my last vices.

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By *corpio67Man
over a year ago

hillingdon

It's further than my local Bus Stop!!!

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By *imandher84Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

I earned my face by not running if i can help it, I'll be damned if I'm going to do it for "fun"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 interesting miles, 23 miles through inner city housing estates. No thank you, there are 1001 nicer places to go for a run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I simply can't be bothered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't live in London. And I'd rather sexercise all night long than run a marathon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Done it before, 2011. Have entered every year since and not got in.

Great event though!

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

It would um......... be very demoralising to those who train for it properly when I win it with very little effort.

Obviously.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

I didn’t get a place

Although apparently you actually have to apply for one in the first place

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"I didn’t get a place

Although apparently you actually have to apply for one in the first place

Better luck next time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m too fast I’d put them all to shame

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

My tits would knock me out...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think running twenty six miles is just as unhealthy as being a couch potato.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I need one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Runnings shit boring and charity begins at home rather eat marmite

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By *ill74Man
over a year ago

New forest area

"Already done it "

Same. Atmosphere was fantastic. Camaraderie was fantastic. Will be watching it tomorrow.

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By *illing2016Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

A recently diagnosed heart condition has put a stop to any such thing (at the moment) - I am currently struggling to walk more than 200 yards without a short rest. I guess I could do a marathon if it was held say over 3 days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm waiting till its re-named London-Snickers"

I have a bone in my foot

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Broken back and far to lazy I mean that's a long way to run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fat and unfit.

They would have to dangle a naked Tom Hardy covered in Nutella in front of me like a carrot to horse for me to even consider it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't need one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, and running is boring as fuck. In fact I've got plenty of reasons not to run any marathon.

Respect to those who do however, and good luck to any fabsters who are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't run far. That's my excuse. I did do the length plus more last year for charity, but walked it. Last 3 miles hurt. No training, fuck all. Just got up and went walkies. Think I'd did well. About 8.5 hours.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

My legs are literally made of low impact polystyrene.

So they wouldn’t last two miles yet alone 26

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only time I run is if I'm being chased!

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"The only time I run is if I'm being chased! "

Hope you're not fast

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Already done it

Same. Atmosphere was fantastic. Camaraderie was fantastic. Will be watching it tomorrow."

I live the London marathon. My dad did it 3 times and his uncle raised thousands of pounds running it over several years....he met princess Di for his fund raising efforts.

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Some one needs to answer to all the messages we never get

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a runner!

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

I was gonna take the message, but Pheidippides said he would take it...so meh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My legs are literally made of low impact polystyrene.

So they wouldn’t last two miles yet alone 26"

Hahahaha I especially like your use of 'literally' xx

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I have 2 very valid reasons.

1-I got a place 3yrs ago, but had to pull out after spinal surgery.

I can't do high impact on hard surfaces anymore.

2- And I'm doing something else ,more important

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Applied for the ballot, missed out this time around!! Try again on Monday when it reopens

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I have 2 very valid reasons.

1-I got a place 3yrs ago, but had to pull out after spinal surgery.

I can't do high impact on hard surfaces anymore.

2- And I'm doing something else ,more important "

Love your tats

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have 2 very valid reasons.

1-I got a place 3yrs ago, but had to pull out after spinal surgery.

I can't do high impact on hard surfaces anymore.

2- And I'm doing something else ,more important "

well why couldn't your chihuahua do it?

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By *oonloverWoman
over a year ago

bognor regis

"I wouldn't want to drive 26 miles in London,let alone,run."

Probably quicker to run though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only time I run is if I'm being chased! "

I bet you get chased a lot

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"I have 2 very valid reasons.

1-I got a place 3yrs ago, but had to pull out after spinal surgery.

I can't do high impact on hard surfaces anymore.

2- And I'm doing something else ,more important

Love your tats"

Thank you x

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"I have 2 very valid reasons.

1-I got a place 3yrs ago, but had to pull out after spinal surgery.

I can't do high impact on hard surfaces anymore.

2- And I'm doing something else ,more important

well why couldn't your chihuahua do it?"

Because she's busy doing important things with me

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By *r Rubba LoverMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Badly damaged knee cartilage and also bone end has had some of tje surface broken off...

No more impact spirts for my knees.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I'm waiting till its re-named London-Snickers"

It's a marathon and it's in London too very good reasons NOT to join in xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would probably die. But my brother is doing it tomorrow. Raised over 7k. Very proud

Awsome! Me and Ash are going to be there cherring everyone on. We might see him.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"It would um......... be very demoralising to those who train for it properly when I win it with very little effort.

Obviously. "

Yeah totally get you

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By *awty_twosomeCouple
over a year ago

Kent

We would but we’re both shagged !!!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I wouldn't want to drive 26 miles in London,let alone,run.

Probably quicker to run though "

Not if I'm running it wouldn't...fag in .mooth huffing and puffing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People die doing that shit!

If I wanted to risk my life like that I'd spend the day petting tigers....that'd be a better way to go!

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

It's not compulsory.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm too fat...have sponcered friends though.

I'm more a race for life kind of girl... I'm doing the miles for May thing though

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By *ill74Man
over a year ago

New forest area

"Already done it

Same. Atmosphere was fantastic. Camaraderie was fantastic. Will be watching it tomorrow.

I live the London marathon. My dad did it 3 times and his uncle raised thousands of pounds running it over several years....he met princess Di for his fund raising efforts. "

That's impressive. Nice.

1st time I applied and got in through the ballot.

Beer was good at the end!

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By *ill74Man
over a year ago

New forest area

"People die doing that shit!

If I wanted to risk my life like that I'd spend the day petting tigers....that'd be a better way to go!"

In my double life I'm a real tiger.

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By *onygirlieWoman
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I run like a turtle apparently... it’s not a good look

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Erm.....I don't want to

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

There isn't a Tena Lady big enough to deal with the fallout

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

"There isn't a Tena Lady big enough to deal with the fallout

Pmsl!!!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Already done it

Same. Atmosphere was fantastic. Camaraderie was fantastic. Will be watching it tomorrow.

I live the London marathon. My dad did it 3 times and his uncle raised thousands of pounds running it over several years....he met princess Di for his fund raising efforts.

That's impressive. Nice.

1st time I applied and got in through the ballot.

Beer was good at the end!"

I didn't realise it was so tough to get into

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont get me wrong ive got great stamina but my knees are fucked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Male of the couple) used to be very fit and sporty a few years back, even then after completing a number of half marathons I always said never again after each one.

The monotony of running without having to chase a ball is far too pyschologically tiring to me.

To be honest I lie, I would enter but I had to give up marathon running as the powers that be said I had to stop humiliating Mo Farah, so I decided to tow the line

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I need an excuse?

V x

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By *omvampmMan
over a year ago

gillingham

I liked to get fucked but not by running a marathon plus passing out after five hundred yards would just be plain embarrassing all credit to those that can run it thou

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got flat feet and I'm too fat and I can't be arsed

And I didn't even know it was on before I read this thread so Ive made other plans

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

I haven't trained also been asked to look after my granddaughter so would have cancelled anyways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I’m going to power wank until each thrust of my cock length totals the 26 miles.

I’ll be wanking for a while. Bystanders are welcome to pass me cups of water (no plastic, please be environmentally friendly).

My cock is looking forward to it; my hand isn’t. Bystanders are allowed to assist.

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By *iss-louWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Because I did it... never again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My lung collapsed

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Because we can’t stand the place.

Over-rated.com

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Already done it

Same. Atmosphere was fantastic. Camaraderie was fantastic. Will be watching it tomorrow.

I live the London marathon. My dad did it 3 times and his uncle raised thousands of pounds running it over several years....he met princess Di for his fund raising efforts.

That's impressive. Nice.

1st time I applied and got in through the ballot.

Beer was good at the end!

I didn't realise it was so tough to get into"

There used to be a rule that if you entered the ballot 5 years in a row and didn't get in you'd get an automatic place the following year but they scraped that. Some people I know apply year after year with no luck.

I managed to get a place through my running club ballot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two decades of sport have fucked my knees and ankles so I just do my bit by sponsoring people. I honestly think even walking that distance would cripple me now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already done it

Same. Atmosphere was fantastic. Camaraderie was fantastic. Will be watching it tomorrow.

I live the London marathon. My dad did it 3 times and his uncle raised thousands of pounds running it over several years....he met princess Di for his fund raising efforts.

That's impressive. Nice.

1st time I applied and got in through the ballot.

Beer was good at the end!

I didn't realise it was so tough to get into

I managed to get a place through my running club ballot. "

Do you get priority if you live in London?

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By *rated-BaconMan
over a year ago

medway

Would go off too fast, pass out, get up. Repeat. Get med dropped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m doing something much more dangerous in June, walking over hot coals. I’m training by walking over Lego and upturned plugs.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Already done it

Same. Atmosphere was fantastic. Camaraderie was fantastic. Will be watching it tomorrow.

I live the London marathon. My dad did it 3 times and his uncle raised thousands of pounds running it over several years....he met princess Di for his fund raising efforts.

That's impressive. Nice.

1st time I applied and got in through the ballot.

Beer was good at the end!

I didn't realise it was so tough to get into

I managed to get a place through my running club ballot.

Do you get priority if you live in London?

Don't think so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't want to - is that a good enough excuse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love to do it, I'm a runner, I struggle with injury tho and a marathon always seems 10 miles too far nowadays

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never remember when it is... Along with most stuff tbf

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

I'm doing a 14 hour shift.

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By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Pheidippides has a lot to answer for

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Washing my hair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fat and unfit. Probably not wise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't be arsed to run through a city with twenty-hundred other people. I'm training for a 50k trail run instead - there's more food on the route

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By *irty Boy-123Man
over a year ago

wirral

I only run when I am in danger or nearly late.I would never win anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fat, I'm unfit, I'm lazy and I don't want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/04/19 02:33:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d end up giving myself two black eyes with my tits.

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By *avethefish400Man
over a year ago

Chichester

Recovering from a broken pelvis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Recovering from a broken pelvis "

If you're going to sit there giving good reasons for not doing it, you'll take all the fun out of making excuses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/04/19 02:44:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anit nobody got time for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am a fat someone with out a father simple answer

don't want a ban for bad word's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the pollution, can’t be bothered and because the only other group of of more annoying people apart from runners are cyclists x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to watch and cheer people on, that counts as doing the marathon right...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’d end up giving myself two black eyes with my tits. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was doing it but overslept

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

not one person has said they have got a note ....I'm afraid you're all going to have to do it even if it means running in your y-fronts or knickers. off you go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because it's about 26 miles too far to run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ran half Marathons when younger that hurt enough 26 miles just too far would trash my poor knees too

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Because I got talked out of taking the charity place that I was given. (yes really)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No money in it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No money in it! "
There's a joke there somewhere!

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Already done it

Same. Atmosphere was fantastic. Camaraderie was fantastic. Will be watching it tomorrow.

I live the London marathon. My dad did it 3 times and his uncle raised thousands of pounds running it over several years....he met princess Di for his fund raising efforts.

That's impressive. Nice.

1st time I applied and got in through the ballot.

Beer was good at the end!

I didn't realise it was so tough to get into

I managed to get a place through my running club ballot.

Do you get priority if you live in London?

Don't think so"

No you don't.

My friend applied 8 years in a row and only got a place this year!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't need an excuse but I honest cannot think of a good reason for running or walking 26 miles on any day.

Plus im fat and lazy

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By *dward_TeagueMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I overslept

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By *ruebameMan
over a year ago

from the womb and tryout to get back

My excuse is my mam is in hospital or I would have been there but a friend is taking my place

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"My excuse is my mam is in hospital or I would have been there but a friend is taking my place

In the hospital ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't want to drive 26 miles in London,let alone,run."

I second that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've already done it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I wouldn't want to miss Evie's BBW bash at chams

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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I get nipple chap

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Both to old and to fat

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By *ave 42Man
over a year ago

pontefract

Just an idle twat on a Sunday

Ooops full English is ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I didn't get in. Again!

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By *ubenesque.Woman
over a year ago

over by there

My knees wouldn't make it past the first mile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its like brexit. What i want to do, but will happen are two different things. But i want to do the marathan. Just like brexit it ant going to happen.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

well done Bridget Kosgei. I'll cross you off my 'to stalk' list ,you're far too fast

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Stuck in traffic on the way down

lol really still in bed lol

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By *r Rubba LoverMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"I can't be arsed to run through a city with twenty-hundred other people. I'm training for a 50k trail run instead - there's more food on the route

If I'm running through a city....its usually AWAY....from the police...or some twat who wants to fight because I paid his s/o a compliment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm waiting till its re-named London-Snickers"

the fact i didnt want to do it and i dont need an excuse not to do anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dog ate my running kit.............................................again

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Because I didn't get in. Again! "

Ballot is open now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The wheel was invented.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The wheel was invented."

"WHAT!- NOOO!" But wasn't the person who invented the second wheel cleverer !

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Because I didn't get in. Again!

Ballot is open now

Already on it!

Failing that, charity places!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because it's far too costly and far too over subscribed.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"The wheel was invented."

So doing ride London in August then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The wheel was invented.

So doing ride London in August then?

You didn't let me finish...............then the internal combustion engine was invented

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I’m to unhealthy & just had a major operation. And I just don’t want too.

J x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The wheel was invented.

So doing ride London in August then?

You didn't let me finish...............then the internal combustion engine was invented

and that was the end of the dinosaurs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I didn't get in. Again!

Ballot is open now

I'm all over it... !

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

"I would die...

I would give you mouth to mouth.

Necrophilia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was washing my hair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was washing my hair

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