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Being dominated

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By *0xy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

telford

can I be truly dominated in front of hubby by a Dom using protection?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a clue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you ask nicely i’m Sure that can be done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't quite get the issue?

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

If that is what you crave can be done.

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By *hrisUB3Man
over a year ago

Heathrow


"can I be truly dominated in front of hubby by a Dom using protection? "

Yes, I always wear a hard hat and safety glasses, and have had no complaints!

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By *c69funCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield


"can I be truly dominated in front of hubby by a Dom using protection? "

Don't see why not !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"can I be truly dominated in front of hubby by a Dom using protection? "

Do you know any lads called Dom, and would your hubby be happy if he went first

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"can I be truly dominated in front of hubby by a Dom using protection? "
What do you mean by dominated?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was under the impression the dom/sub dynamic is purely illusory anyway?

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By *palWoman
over a year ago

The Bermuda Triangle in Suffolk

If a real Dom didn't play without a condom then he has no care for your own health. You must agree to a safe word and the sub has the real power whilst the Dom takes control.

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south


"can I be truly dominated in front of hubby by a Dom using protection? "
dom should dictate the course of action

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I am puzzled, I do not understand what wearing a condom has to do with domination?

There are a dozen and more ways of dominating a person without sex being involved.

I accept that people have there own definition of domination, in the same way cuckold couples have their own definition of cuckolding.

Therefore it would be best that you OP described the acts of domination required, unless you want rough sex. But rough sex alone is not domination in a bdsm sense. In any case before anything happens there should be a proper negotiation and discussion between all parties as to what is required.

With respect to the comment that 'doms dominate' that may be a confusion between being an alpha male and a dom. A distinction that at the minimum could be bullying and at the top end criminal/sexual assault.

In regard to the comment that the dom sub relationship is illusionary,I would be interested in discussing the point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure whether you're trying to work out whether you would feel comfortable being dominated in front of your husband or weather it wouldn't be proper domination if he was wearing a condom.

I love being dominated and unless I'm in a committed relationship with said Dom I always use protection.

Like others have said I'm not really sure what the issue is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not sure whether you're trying to work out whether you would feel comfortable being dominated in front of your husband or weather it wouldn't be proper domination if he was wearing a condom.

I love being dominated and unless I'm in a committed relationship with said Dom I always use protection.

Like others have said I'm not really sure what the issue is. "

I took her question to be asking whether she was truly letting him be dominant by imposing restrictions.

I.e if he was truly dominant he wouldn't need to wear a condom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not sure whether you're trying to work out whether you would feel comfortable being dominated in front of your husband or weather it wouldn't be proper domination if he was wearing a condom.

I love being dominated and unless I'm in a committed relationship with said Dom I always use protection.

Like others have said I'm not really sure what the issue is.

I took her question to be asking whether she was truly letting him be dominant by imposing restrictions.

I.e if he was truly dominant he wouldn't need to wear a condom.

"

Well if that's the case then yes absolutely!

Being dominated does not mean that you don't have restrictions or limits and it certainly doesn't mean that a man can do whatever he wants too, to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not sure whether you're trying to work out whether you would feel comfortable being dominated in front of your husband or weather it wouldn't be proper domination if he was wearing a condom.

I love being dominated and unless I'm in a committed relationship with said Dom I always use protection.

Like others have said I'm not really sure what the issue is.

I took her question to be asking whether she was truly letting him be dominant by imposing restrictions.

I.e if he was truly dominant he wouldn't need to wear a condom.

Well if that's the case then yes absolutely!

Being dominated does not mean that you don't have restrictions or limits and it certainly doesn't mean that a man can do whatever he wants too, to you.

"

Yeah as I said i've always seen the dom/sub power play as purely illusory. The sub has all the real control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The 3 most important words in any sub Dom or BDSM play are:

Safe

Sane

Consensual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That fella off the telly might be able to help op?

The one who chases up all the dodgy tradesman and shows them up for what they really are

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

If he wears a domcondom..yes

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By *0xy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

telford

I’ve never been truly dominated but I like the idea of it but still would like some boundaries as it would be my first time and I’m not into bareback As that’s just for hubby but seams a lot of the so say doms don’t want to have boundaries made by me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope so X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never been truly dominated but I like the idea of it but still would like some boundaries as it would be my first time and I’m not into bareback As that’s just for hubby but seams a lot of the so say doms don’t want to have boundaries made by me x"

I can assure you if they are not going to respect your boundaries or wishes and say just because they are dominant they set all the rules they are no Dom!!

Just an abusive or demanding man trying his luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never been truly dominated but I like the idea of it but still would like some boundaries as it would be my first time and I’m not into bareback As that’s just for hubby but seams a lot of the so say doms don’t want to have boundaries made by me x"

Then they are not doms. I've only had one dom try and say I wasn't submitting unless I fucked him bare I told him if he was tested we could go down that route-he wanted exclusivity too.

A dom I see occasionally who is one of the only dom I would trust to take all my senses away always plays safe with me and has never asked for it to be any different. A genuine Dom wants safety as well as submission

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never been truly dominated but I like the idea of it but still would like some boundaries as it would be my first time and I’m not into bareback As that’s just for hubby but seams a lot of the so say doms don’t want to have boundaries made by me x"
im no expert but id say your safety should always be the priority if going down that route if there not taking that into consideration then there not worth a second thought keep searching until you find exactly what you want why shouldnt you be able to set your own bounderys or rules thats just dangerous

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Seriously foxyminx your key is negotiation and that is a 2 way thing. Communication is essential and you should be able to communicate throughout anytime you spend together.

Your relationship or dynamic that you create is personal to yourselves, it’s what fits, what you both want and shouldn’t ever be dictated by anyone or anything else, everyone’s is different and if you speak to 10 different people with that kind of dynamic, you’ll find 10 different scenarios going on.

Probably none that fit quite what you want.

Lex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never been truly dominated but I like the idea of it but still would like some boundaries as it would be my first time and I’m not into bareback As that’s just for hubby but seams a lot of the so say doms don’t want to have boundaries made by me x"

Your phrase so called doms is spot on. In bdsm play a sub holds the power with their boundaries and a true dom respects that. Much of the play comes from an understanding of each other's mind and on that basis I'd never meet with a Dom without getting to know them first. You'll never fully relax and enjoy any experience if you've no idea whether the other person will try and push you too far.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I really have to disagree when people say the sub holds all the power. It is, I suggest a fundamental misunderstanding of the power dynamic. I explain it this way. The sub has the same right as any free person to decide what happens to their body. You do not have to be in a D/S relationship for that to apply. It is the same as saying the wife controls a marriage because she tell the husband what he can or cannot do to her body.

People look at D/S as the dom doing something to the subs. But actually the subs want something done to them and this cannot be done without dom.

Also if a sub is in control they could tell the dom what to do. So a sub could tell the dom things which the dom does not want to do. But this should not happen as the dom can have hard limits too. The dom may not do blood, scat, or switch. No sub can control the relationship to make a dom do that. If they can then the sub is domming from the bottom.

Therefore as rightly pointed there should be a discussion and negotiation about each parties wants, needs, limits and acceptable play types before any play occurs.

My view is that it is not

a question of control but of mutual agreement for mutual pleasure. If done right D/S relationships exist and can be life enhancing.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I really have to disagree when people say the sub holds all the power. It is, I suggest a fundamental misunderstanding of the power dynamic. I explain it this way. The sub has the same right as any free person to decide what happens to their body. You do not have to be in a D/S relationship for that to apply. It is the same as saying the wife controls a marriage because she tell the husband what he can or cannot do to her body.

People look at D/S as the dom doing something to the subs. But actually the subs want something done to them and this cannot be done without dom.

Also if a sub is in control they could tell the dom what to do. So a sub could tell the dom things which the dom does not want to do. But this should not happen as the dom can have hard limits too. The dom may not do blood, scat, or switch. No sub can control the relationship to make a dom do that. If they can then the sub is domming from the bottom.

Therefore as rightly pointed there should be a discussion and negotiation about each parties wants, needs, limits and acceptable play types before any play occurs.

My view is that it is not

a question of control but of mutual agreement for mutual pleasure. If done right D/S relationships exist and can be life enhancing."

Exactly this - neither the Dom nor the sub holds the ultimate power and control - they're two sides of the same coin who hold the power and control equally.

It's argued that a sub holds the power because he/she gives and can take away their submission, but just as equally a dominant can choose to take that submission or not.

As others have said, each individual circumstance will have it's own rules and boundaries and those can only come through mutual agreement and discussion - anyone, dominant or submissive, that suggests otherwise and that they exclusively and unilaterally define the individual dynamic, would be someone to avoid in my book.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"I really have to disagree when people say the sub holds all the power. It is, I suggest a fundamental misunderstanding of the power dynamic. I explain it this way. The sub has the same right as any free person to decide what happens to their body. You do not have to be in a D/S relationship for that to apply. It is the same as saying the wife controls a marriage because she tell the husband what he can or cannot do to her body.

People look at D/S as the dom doing something to the subs. But actually the subs want something done to them and this cannot be done without dom.

Also if a sub is in control they could tell the dom what to do. So a sub could tell the dom things which the dom does not want to do. But this should not happen as the dom can have hard limits too. The dom may not do blood, scat, or switch. No sub can control the relationship to make a dom do that. If they can then the sub is domming from the bottom.

Therefore as rightly pointed there should be a discussion and negotiation about each parties wants, needs, limits and acceptable play types before any play occurs.

My view is that it is not

a question of control but of mutual agreement for mutual pleasure. If done right D/S relationships exist and can be life enhancing.

Exactly this - neither the Dom nor the sub holds the ultimate power and control - they're two sides of the same coin who hold the power and control equally.

It's argued that a sub holds the power because he/she gives and can take away their submission, but just as equally a dominant can choose to take that submission or not.

As others have said, each individual circumstance will have it's own rules and boundaries and those can only come through mutual agreement and discussion - anyone, dominant or submissive, that suggests otherwise and that they exclusively and unilaterally define the individual dynamic, would be someone to avoid in my book."

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle


"I’ve never been truly dominated but I like the idea of it but still would like some boundaries as it would be my first time and I’m not into bareback As that’s just for hubby but seams a lot of the so say doms don’t want to have boundaries made by me x"

Personally I wouldn’t meet anyone who doesn’t respect your boundaries, that person isn’t a real Dom just a bloke who has watched 50 Shades of shite and thinks he knows all about it, that isn’t how genuine Dom’s work, they take you to the heights of pleasure/pain then stoke you and care for you after you come back down, don’t trust anyone who doesn’t respect the vulnerability of the situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve never been truly dominated but I like the idea of it but still would like some boundaries as it would be my first time and I’m not into bareback As that’s just for hubby but seams a lot of the so say doms don’t want to have boundaries made by me x

Personally I wouldn’t meet anyone who doesn’t respect your boundaries, that person isn’t a real Dom just a bloke who has watched 50 Shades of shite and thinks he knows all about it, that isn’t how genuine Dom’s work, they take you to the heights of pleasure/pain then stoke you and care for you after you come back down, don’t trust anyone who doesn’t respect the vulnerability of the situation.

"

Oh I remember the chair

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham


"can I be truly dominated in front of hubby by a Dom using protection? What do you mean by dominated? "
domination has many forms and shape .

I take it in this instance its more about being used in a more fun type play kind of domination ( using hubby as a voyeur ).domination is not purely about sex .

First of all you need to get someone who knows exactly what they are doing ,uses safe words ,shows his sub respect (yes the respect works both ways ).

Not your usual numptie who thinks they can go hammer and tong on you without boundaries .don't knock me there are people out there like that .if you are being abused how turned on would hubby be then . would he need to step in .would there then be a serious altercation.there needs to be hard and set rules . what some may class as domination others do not .you need to seriously look into this . what are your expectations ,what are your limits .your own safety is paramount .do not just go down that road because you have some kinky aspiration that its,all good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"can I be truly dominated in front of hubby by a Dom using protection? "
if you find the right guy im sure you can.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"can I be truly dominated in front of hubby by a Dom using protection?

Yes, I always wear a hard hat and safety glasses, and have had no complaints! "

Don't forget the hi viz

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)


"can I be truly dominated in front of hubby by a Dom using protection? "
Absolutely.

Protection has absolutely nothing to do with the Dom/sub dynamic. Heck sex has nothing to do with that dynamic either but it is like the icing on the cake.

Anyone Domming you and not using protection is a pretty shitty Dom in my honest opinion as they aren't thinking about your safety at all.

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By *0xy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

telford

Some really good views here and we appreciate them all . We have yet to do anything just looking into this so we have had various DOMS message us 1 saying he didn’t want my partner there and wanted me on my own as he would feel uneasy knowing a bloke was in the house ( he is there for my safety foremost voyeur second). Another said was ok with hubby watching me being sub to him and he DOM but would be pointless being DOM in front of hubby if he couldn’t bareback as he couldn’t see the point in it .

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)


"Some really good views here and we appreciate them all . We have yet to do anything just looking into this so we have had various DOMS message us 1 saying he didn’t want my partner there and wanted me on my own as he would feel uneasy knowing a bloke was in the house ( he is there for my safety foremost voyeur second). Another said was ok with hubby watching me being sub to him and he DOM but would be pointless being DOM in front of hubby if he couldn’t bareback as he couldn’t see the point in it ."
Sounds like the Dominant Cockwombles have introduced themselves to you. Any real Dom would respect your boundaries. Everything should be Safe, Sane and Consensual. Take your time deciding what to do and always go with your gut instincts. I wish you all the best and hope that you enjoy yourself, playing safe of course.

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By *c69funCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield


"Some really good views here and we appreciate them all . We have yet to do anything just looking into this so we have had various DOMS message us 1 saying he didn’t want my partner there and wanted me on my own as he would feel uneasy knowing a bloke was in the house ( he is there for my safety foremost voyeur second). Another said was ok with hubby watching me being sub to him and he DOM but would be pointless being DOM in front of hubby if he couldn’t bareback as he couldn’t see the point in it ."

It's about what you and hubby want , it's your fantasy , find the right person who understands that and will play by your rules and limits.

The "Doms" you've mentioned in this post don't understand your needs and are only thinking of their needs .

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