FabSwingers.com forum: Pain

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So hard to find people who will admit that giving pain turns them on, without them also sounding like they’d totally take the piss and not listen to limits. Are there any considerate sadists out there, or by the nature of that term can they not exist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not on my to do list yet if im honest id be constantly going you ok it would get repetetive fast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In certain areas of bdsm, 'someone' has to be the dealer of pain and humiliation. Does it depend on how much pain one delivers, or how much one enjoys giving pain to be defined as a sadist ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not on my to do list yet if im honest id be constantly going you ok it would get repetetive fast"

Ha! Funny and honest response.

Yes, that’s me when I try to Domme...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In certain areas of bdsm, 'someone' has to be the dealer of pain and humiliation. Does it depend on how much pain one delivers, or how much one enjoys giving pain to be defined as a sadist ?"

I have a feeling you know much more than me about this. What’s your view?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not on my to do list yet if im honest id be constantly going you ok it would get repetetive fast

Ha! Funny and honest response.

Yes, that’s me when I try to Domme...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In certain areas of bdsm, 'someone' has to be the dealer of pain and humiliation. Does it depend on how much pain one delivers, or how much one enjoys giving pain to be defined as a sadist ?

I have a feeling you know much more than me about this. What’s your view?"

I really don't know, hence my questioning post rather than a statement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In certain areas of bdsm, 'someone' has to be the dealer of pain and humiliation. Does it depend on how much pain one delivers, or how much one enjoys giving pain to be defined as a sadist ?

I have a feeling you know much more than me about this. What’s your view?"
check8ng out your arse why lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In certain areas of bdsm, 'someone' has to be the dealer of pain and humiliation. Does it depend on how much pain one delivers, or how much one enjoys giving pain to be defined as a sadist ?

I have a feeling you know much more than me about this. What’s your view?check8ng out your arse why lol"

Checking her arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In certain areas of bdsm, 'someone' has to be the dealer of pain and humiliation. Does it depend on how much pain one delivers, or how much one enjoys giving pain to be defined as a sadist ?

I have a feeling you know much more than me about this. What’s your view?check8ng out your arse why lol

Checking her arse

"
thats my view

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In certain areas of bdsm, 'someone' has to be the dealer of pain and humiliation. Does it depend on how much pain one delivers, or how much one enjoys giving pain to be defined as a sadist ?

I have a feeling you know much more than me about this. What’s your view?check8ng out your arse why lol

Checking her arse

thats my view"

I'm not bi. Not sure what you mean ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In certain areas of bdsm, 'someone' has to be the dealer of pain and humiliation. Does it depend on how much pain one delivers, or how much one enjoys giving pain to be defined as a sadist ?

I have a feeling you know much more than me about this. What’s your view?check8ng out your arse why lol

Checking her arse

thats my view

I'm not bi. Not sure what you mean ?"
i was jumping convos never mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dunno about giving but I've been tied up, slapped about a bit and woman's nails dragged all over my body.

She nearly pulled my cock off too.

Was great

Haters form a queue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dunno about giving but I've been tied up, slapped about a bit and woman's nails dragged all over my body.

She nearly pulled my cock off too.

Was great

Haters form a queue

Ouch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In certain areas of bdsm, 'someone' has to be the dealer of pain and humiliation. Does it depend on how much pain one delivers, or how much one enjoys giving pain to be defined as a sadist ?

I have a feeling you know much more than me about this. What’s your view?check8ng out your arse why lol

Checking her arse

thats my view

I'm not bi. Not sure what you mean ?i was jumping convos never mind "

Oh, am I just being thick

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In certain areas of bdsm, 'someone' has to be the dealer of pain and humiliation. Does it depend on how much pain one delivers, or how much one enjoys giving pain to be defined as a sadist ?

I have a feeling you know much more than me about this. What’s your view?check8ng out your arse why lol

Checking her arse

thats my view

I'm not bi. Not sure what you mean ?i was jumping convos never mind

Oh, am I just being thick

I think it was just a quip..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So hard to find people who will admit that giving pain turns them on, without them also sounding like they’d totally take the piss and not listen to limits. Are there any considerate sadists out there, or by the nature of that term can they not exist?"

I’ve met a considerate sadist, enjoys inflicting pain but respects limits. Are you looking for one or are you wanting to be one?

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

I love pain(sexual) when administered by someone i totally trust.....and i am pretty sure he loves administering it, so yea i guess he is sadistic but would also never go too far...so a considerate sadist. Is that an oxymoron, i am not sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be a bit of a sadist at times (I can see all the guys backing away from me now

). But most of the attraction and the turn on is being in control. Reading their reactions, knowing when to give more and when to stop.

I think that's the case for most genuine people, there are unfortunately a whole load of "sadists" I'd put in the Dim Dom category where they think being rough and slapping people around a bit is all it's about.

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

The best way for me to explain this, is to go back to when this first became a thing for me.

I was with a girl who asked me to spank her. I was shocked and replied that I wouldn’t want to do that, as I liked her. Her response was that she liked me too and that was why she wanted (and trusted) me to do it.

So for me, it’s not about inflicting pain, it’s about that level of intimacy and trust.

I wouldn’t say I’m a sadist... except perhaps in that moment when I’m testing her limits.

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By *ensualgent38Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh; London

Giving pain is as big a turn on to me as giving pleasure BUT.....in both cases that turn in only comes when I know the woman I am with wants to receive it as much as I enjoy giving it. Then you are into a whole world of shared kink and enjoyment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like with most labels and terms everyone will have their own definition.

One official definition is

"a person who derives pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others."

I think it can depend on the level of pain and skill administered to decide if someone is a sadist or not. However someone who is new to receiving pain may call someone a sadist after their first spanking. I think it takes time and learning to understand the different levels of pain and how to administer it properly. And also to be able to adjust the levels depending on who they are playing with

I have played with some that others have called a sadist but due to my sometimes low pain levels they reduced their levels to meet mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like with most labels and terms everyone will have their own definition.

One official definition is

"a person who derives pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others."

I have played with some that others have called a sadist but due to my sometimes low pain levels they reduced their levels to meet mine

I've played with a few sadists. A few bad but mostly good. The good sadists are so in tune to the sub. They listen for safe words and watch the bodies reaction. A good sadist should stop the scene if he feels like the sub has reached her limits. It could be she is in subspace and no longer aware of her surroundings. But some masochists like to take as much as the sadist is capable of taking. Sometimes I like to recieve pain and sometimes i recieve it to please my sadist partner. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dunno about giving but I've been tied up, slapped about a bit and woman's nails dragged all over my body.

She nearly pulled my cock off too.

Was great

Haters form a queue

Ouch"

Honestly I loved it.

Kept looking at the red lines all over my body for weeks she did a good job

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By *wickermanMan
over a year ago

Staines

A sadist would not care about your limits other than to want to exceed them because then you would suffer more and hence they would get more out of it

Are there men who gain pleasure from activities some might find unpleasantly painful but those they meet find highly pleasureable. Yes but finding those with the inclination and the ability is not always easy.

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By *horehouseprincessWoman
over a year ago

small town near Munich

A good (considerate and respecting limits) sadist is hard to find. Unfortunately

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

Hit me said the masochist.

No said the sadist.

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By *reendanMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I mostly play in the BDSM scene. I've met quite a number of sadists and played with a few. So far I haven't played with anyone that has ignored my limits. Although my limits are pretty hard compared to most (I'm told). I'm known as 'pain slut' on the scene so...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve met a considerate sadist, enjoys inflicting pain but respects limits. Are you looking for one or are you wanting to be one? "

Looking for one. I’d be very interested in recommendations.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hit me said the masochist.

No said the sadist.

Exactly sums up the issue! It is all a game that requires willing participants at the end of the day..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

A sadist who doesn't respect limits is an abuser.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

I always say that such play is about exploring mutual pleasures and mutual satisfaction. As such there must be a rapport between partners and an understanding on the part of the dom/top of what experience the sub/bottom wants.

Under those parameters i love giving pain. I have one partner who can cum from paddling her boobs or bum with no genital contact at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always say that such play is about exploring mutual pleasures and mutual satisfaction. As such there must be a rapport between partners and an understanding on the part of the dom/top of what experience the sub/bottom wants.

Under those parameters i love giving pain. I have one partner who can cum from paddling her boobs or bum with no genital contact at all. "

That must be incredible to be able to do that..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A sadist who doesn't respect limits is an abuser."

Whilst that is true it doesn’t mean that people dont ignore limits or think they ‘know better’ than the sub..

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By *ensualgent38Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh; London

"A sadist who doesn't respect limits is an abuser."

I don’t like the word ‘sadist’. It implies that the pain is the pleasure when for me the sharing of the experience is the pleasure. A fine line I know and one better explained and enjoyed in person rather than in writing!

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

"A sadist who doesn't respect limits is an abuser."

Abuser (modern terminology that it is) is of no consequence to a real sadist as the victim's limits are irrelevant.

What most fabbers into the scene want is a "play-sadist".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loads of them about, just look in the right places but there’s also the wannabes and downright dangerous players too

The scenes never been the same since that shite awful book came out

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

That must be incredible to be able to do that.."

It happens when we are both in a certain zone, head space. And it is quite amazing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A sadist would not care about your limits other than to want to exceed them because then you would suffer more and hence they would get more out of it

In the bdsm world safe words still stand unless your a kajira slave where there are no safe words but i wont go there. A sadist loves pain tears bruises even blood but will only go as far as a masochist wants. Safe words stand x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t send you a private message I’m outside your age range lol!! Suddenly feeling very old

message me and I’ll give you a fab name for you to check out xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A sadist would not care about your limits other than to want to exceed them because then you would suffer more and hence they would get more out of it

Just dont make it ouch

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By *astersteve905Man
over a year ago

Near Lutterworth

I always respect limits

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can’t send you a private message I’m outside your age range lol!! Suddenly feeling very old

message me and I’ll give you a fab name for you to check out xxx "

You are UNDER my age range, you should feeling youthful! I’ll pm you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can’t send you a private message I’m outside your age range lol!! Suddenly feeling very old

message me and I’ll give you a fab name for you to check out xxx

You are UNDER my age range, you should feeling youthful! I’ll pm you."

Lol cancelling my Botox appt!! And feeling better about the world

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Absolutely adore B/d play.

D/s play is a whole different dynamic, lot more convoluted intense play.

S/m, umm not really my thing.

Well in my world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My LTP is a very considerate pain giver. I don't always know when it's coming and that adds to the feeling of anticipation.

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By *ensualgent38Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh; London

"My LTP is a very considerate pain giver. I don't always know when it's coming and that adds to the feeling of anticipation. "

That’s just delicious. Mixing pleasure and punishment so you don’t know what’s coming next and what you want more. Surely the best possible kind of teasing domination!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can be a bit of a sadist at times (I can see all the guys backing away from me now

). But most of the attraction and the turn on is being in control. Reading their reactions, knowing when to give more and when to stop.

I would never back away

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By *tephens11Man
over a year ago

Leeds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/11/18 10:24:44]

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