FabSwingers.com forum: When someone makes you feel like shit

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do something you enjoy that will take your mind off it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

I believe that no one can make you feel bad unless you let them or if there is a truth to what they say and it pangs your conscience.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

Shaking it off is not too difficult if you don't believe that what they said or did applies to you ......

Don't let others put THEIR monkey on YOUR back.

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By *im L FuckitMan
over a year ago

Dumfriesshire

I feel your pain. A few (probably inadequate) suggestions:

Watch a film/TV, listen to music, read a book (all designed to direct your train of thought somewhere else)

I really believe in the healing power of nature and animals, too.

But probably best of all... a female counsellor once advised me to visualise the offending individual in a comprising or embarrassing position. Sounds odd, but it can work! The choice of mental image is your own.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "

Meditate, hold the image or feeling in your mind.

If its a situation or person pause the image, make it black and white, reduce its size and or volume.

Think on moments when you did well or felt good about yourself. Overlay them mentally until the original is obscured and weak. Keep doing that.

When you feel more positive/happier kindle that thought and expand it. Then holding it securely pick a point on your body (right knee just above and to the right of the kneecap is good) press it hard while maintaining happy thoughts/elation/positivity

You should get an echo of that every time you press there. Will help to reduce the negative feeling hopefully!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Know in your mind that you’re better than them

Anyone who purposely makes someone feel like shit isn’t worth your angst

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's really hard but just take it one day at a time, keep busy, do things you love or spend time with people who love you, until you start to feel better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think deepak chopra says something along the lines of:

Put not your happiness in an object or thing, because those can be taken away from you.

I would say it's along the lines of something like that for your own happiness as well. Don't put how you feel into the way a person makes you feel because they can also disappear etc etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just Take some time to breathe. Consentrte on your breathing going in and out . Its an anchor you can use if you get stressed and begin to over think .

Remeber you can't read any ones mind or thoughts .

Try a good long walk , being outside can ease your feelings .

If you find yourself over thinking don't be hard on yourself , be as compassionate with yourself as you are with others

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

How are they making you feel like shit? Is it words or actions? If its words why are they making you feel shit. Is it the truth? Are they right? If theres no truth take the power away from them. Concentrate on other things going on in your life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Know in your mind that you’re better than them

Anyone who purposely makes someone feel like shit isn’t worth your angst "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have an orgasm thinking of someone else

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

How to change how you feel - doing something that's physical will change your physical state. It helps to flush and process hormones etc and potentially release uplifting ones. It may be something very active or just standing and moving - a good walk for example.

Remembering and reassociating into positive experiences is a good way that I find of benefit.

I'd also recommend that you could progressively pass from a highly negative state to a very positive one most easily - bunny hops, so to speak. There's less pressure on you if you don't expect to go from hell to nirvana in one step. I don't know if that's clear but I'm happy to elucidate.

Take any quick decisions if appropriate - that can help us to move on.

Being around nature is really helpful.

Connecting with people who uplift you and hold no pressure on you to be any specific way may be right too.

Not CBT, I'm not ignoring your request SH, just wanted to offer these quick thoughts as you absolutely deserve better than someone who has degraded your spirit. You rock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In work, I challenge things directly.

On a personal level it's hard to give an answer without facts...grannys answer makes sense but that approach needs practice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go thrash the living daylights outta my motorbike

Works for me unfortunately my poor old bike is suffering

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By *horecruxCouple
over a year ago

SE4

Music,driving,going out,working out

I personally go with a vanilla cinnamon bun cake and a lord of the rings session

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think about all the people that actually love you, care for you, spend time with you and make you feel happy.

Anyone who makes others feel shit are the ones with issues. Don't waste another thought on them.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Find someone that makes you feel good!!

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

You have taken that first step by acknowledging that they make you feel like shit. You know deep down that aint right and you deserve better. I find a long long walk alone in the countryside helps process my thoughts. Get out there and think off all the times they made u feel bad. Now take control. Baby steps to make you feel happy again. Happiness comes from within. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the right to be happy. That may mean letting go xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think about why they are doing it.

Insecurity, jealousy and just pure nastiness are probably amongst the reasons.

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By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

show that person who is making you

feel bad a red card OP and get rid of them.

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

You are not responsible for anyone elses life, happiness or other.

If youve done em wrong.. apologise amd move on... if theyre being a dumbass... dont let them bring you down x

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By *ightkitty4uWoman
over a year ago

Epsom

Ignore them and get under someone else to take your mind of them....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I believe that no one can make you feel bad unless you let them or if there is a truth to what they say and it pangs your conscience.

Yes

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Shaking it off is not too difficult if you don't believe that what they said or did applies to you ......

Don't let others put THEIR monkey on YOUR back."

yes part 2

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I make cute little dollies

Then I stick pins in them

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By *heangelWoman
over a year ago

wonderland

Go for a run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which wanker did that to you? Let me have a word with my little legs. I got my ways.

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By *ottie_84Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Which wanker did that to you? Let me have a word with my little legs. I got my ways.

Awww that’s cute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always used to go and have a cuppa with my Mum, she was wise.

Now, I’d call or visit one of my close friends to tell all and get it all off my chest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this site can build you up but also can knock you down . You just have to learn to enjoy the highs and deal with the lows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get in the gym and go hard!!!! Or have a cuppa and watch a film

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which wanker did that to you? Let me have a word with my little legs. I got my ways.

Awww that’s cute "

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By *ottie_84Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Which wanker did that to you? Let me have a word with my little legs. I got my ways.

Awww that’s cute

I thought you were joking about being little legs till I had a perv, you’re a adorable humunculous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which wanker did that to you? Let me have a word with my little legs. I got my ways.

Awww that’s cute

I thought you were joking about being little legs till I had a perv, you’re a adorable humunculous

I don’t joke. I have a mean serious face you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What happened OP?

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By *ottie_84Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Which wanker did that to you? Let me have a word with my little legs. I got my ways.

Awww that’s cute

I thought you were joking about being little legs till I had a perv, you’re a adorable humunculous

I don’t joke. I have a mean serious face you know.

Seeing is believing

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By *arie79Woman
over a year ago

Stornoway

Vent to help get it out your system, have a friend tell you how wonderful you are and then find distractions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "

EFT = Emotional Freedom Technique will help you get over it in minutes.

EFT is really easy to learn. It's cost no money to do it. You can learn the basics in minutes. Plenty of information via Google and plenty of free instructional videos on YouTube.

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

As so many of the previous posters have mentioned:

The cure is entirely with you.

You can't stop bad people from trying to treat you like shit if they are that way inclined BUT people can't make YOU feel like shit unless you let them get to you.

The advice for defeating their actions is as old as the hills: count your blessings and your little triumphs (of good, of a task well done, a problem solved, a good walk completed, a good book read, a good day spent with real friends etc. etc) whatever they may be.

I am me, these are the things (however humble) that I have achieved.

I'm sure there are plenty of people on here who will recognise that self-help in these lines from an old poem:

"If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it"

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By *hechapMan
over a year ago

Derry

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "

I cant see how cock and ball torture (CBT) will help you in the long term.

It might help at the time but afterwards you will go back to feeling like shite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "

Tell them to go fuck themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because someone doesn't value you, it doesn't mean that you don't have value. Believe in yourself and be your own best friend x

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately.

I cant see how cock and ball torture (CBT) will help you in the long term.

It might help at the time but afterwards you will go back to feeling like shite.

I have to say that CBT translated the same to me too.

Perhaps it's that old fetish purification through pain?

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

"Just because someone doesn't value you, it doesn't mean that you don't have value. Believe in yourself and be your own best friend x"

Yep, a reading of Desiderata tells much.

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By *ove3funCouple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Think repeatedly of your good qualities and focus on a personal goal...you will be too busy with the good stuff to even think of the negatives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading is a good distraction method , it’s hard at first but when you get into a good book it really helps. I find if my mind wanders I pick my book up and it totally distracts you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/08/18 22:18:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately.

Do you know what, I used to let it bother me but I now laugh at their ignorance.

People who pop at others usually have their own deep seated issues which they sweep under the carpet and then have a go at other people in the hope it makes them feel bad when, in fact, it just makes them look like the sad, sorry individuals that they really are x"

Sorry. I meant in the hope it makes them feel better ... Not bad

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately.

Do you know what, I used to let it bother me but I now laugh at their ignorance.

Sorry. I meant in the hope it makes them feel better ... Not bad "

I think you hit the nail on the head there for some people that I’ve ‘experienced’ anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "

I divorced her - then I felt a lot better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately.

Do you know what, I used to let it bother me but I now laugh at their ignorance.

Sorry. I meant in the hope it makes them feel better ... Not bad

I think you hit the nail on the head there for some people that I’ve ‘experienced’ anyway

There are two particular people on here with whom I apply this way of thinking, and chatting to others privately has shown that I am correct x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all so much! I want to reply to every comment but I always feel weird doing that, sorry.

I've saved all your comments (told you I'm weird!) because every single one has helped me. You've given me a solution to my problem from the OP.

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By *ommyxyzMan
over a year ago

Harlow

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "

Sit in a nice place, feet flat on the floor everything resting. Think through your body from toes to top of your head, relaxing each bit of you as you go. Think my feet are totally coumfortable I love my feet...... and so on. It’s great but a bit hard to do on your own better if someone talks you through each stage.

Hope it helps.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Thank you all so much! I want to reply to every comment but I always feel weird doing that, sorry.

I've saved all your comments (told you I'm weird!) because every single one has helped me. You've given me a solution to my problem from the OP.

"
yay

Always good to see a positive outcome of the back of an advice thread

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"Thank you all so much! I want to reply to every comment but I always feel weird doing that, sorry.

I've saved all your comments (told you I'm weird!) because every single one has helped me. You've given me a solution to my problem from the OP.

Aw that’s great to hear.

Fab has its uses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to be thick skinned here, just shrug it off, wasn’t meant to be and move on..... onwards and upwards

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

Write down all the positive things you have done, add to it each time you do something new and then you can look back at it when you need a little pick me up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thank you all so much! I want to reply to every comment but I always feel weird doing that, sorry.

I've saved all your comments (told you I'm weird!) because every single one has helped me. You've given me a solution to my problem from the OP.

yay

Always good to see a positive outcome of the back of an advice thread"

I very much appreciate it. I'm still reading the comments. It's not an issue about the site, I can't give info.

It's also been useful in general, I hope it's helped others too.

I know I already said it but I really do appreciate every single reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do agree with everything everyone has said but me personally found I was too anxious to write journals or do relaxation techniques, everyone is different, the only thing I found worked for me was distracting myself by reading, x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something I have tried in the past to get over bad experiences and feelings about people - write it all down on a piece of paper, screw it up and then set light to it. While you watch it going up in flames concentrate on the passing of your bad thoughts until they have turned into ash and can hurt you no more. xx

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"What do you do? How do you shake that feeling off?

Does anyone have any CBT type tips? Or any tips at all that work for you.

"Not thinking about it" isn't an option unfortunately. "

Can you cut this toxic person adrift.

I feel sad for them actually, if all they have to think about is making you feel shit then they are the ones with the empty life.

You know that you aren't shit OP. Tell yourself you are better than them, you have lots of positives, list your top three for starters.

Sending positive thoughts

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By *oaddy20Man
over a year ago

tullamore

Keep the fuck away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Overthink it get upset then bottle it up i should have been born a woman

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