FabSwingers.com forum: Favourite sayings and expressions.

By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Ours has to be

"You can't polish a turd"

What's yours?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can cover a shit in a sugar, but it’s still not a donut

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

All that glitters is not gold.

Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine brighter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/11/17 07:17:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big, fat, hairy bollocks

(Aka Tom in Gimme Gimme Gimme)

Use it all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mahoosive fuckwit

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

There was one on another thread the other day from a fem.

Cock Womble!

Now that made us laugh

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

"Teeth like a burnt fence"

"I can only piss with the cock I was born with"

"Face like a slapped arse"

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

Leeds

“That’s Nice” said in a sarcastic way

Or as we say in ireland. “ F off”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try everything once !

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Teeth like bombed down railings.

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By *appyhumper123Man
over a year ago

hull

What's before you, won't pass you

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

A much use as a chocolate tea pot or an ashtray on a motor bike

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

A face that only their mother could love

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

"Teeth like bombed down railings.

Teeth like a vandalised graveyard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What goes around, comes around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ours has to be

"You can't polish a turd"

What's yours?"

You can however roll it in glitter!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Buy a toilet brush before you need a toilet brush!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thicker than two planks

You penis

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

This is hard work!

Translated:

Like rolling shit up a mountain

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

No shit Sherlock

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By *randMrsPipCouple
over a year ago

Alfreton

You've got two kinds of hope, Bob and none.

Mrs Pip

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Whenever someone says " Beauty is only skin deep " my usual answer is " Well yes , I can't see your fucking pancreas can I "

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By *ighclassfunMan
over a year ago

Cheshire

Get involved

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine brighter. "

Very apt on here Babs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How hard can it be" is mine. But she always looks slightly panicked for some reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got teeth like the Holy Commandments......ten of 'em, every one broke!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'He's not the brightest spark in the tool box'

'Does the pope s**t in the woods?'

'you've as much chance as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest'

Just a few of my favorites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When someone's tried to be funny or sarcastic in a group I always say....

"He thinks he's a wit, but he's only half right!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No shit Sherlock

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By *evon DelightCouple
over a year ago

A town in Devon

Even a broken clock is correct twice a day.

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Loving them, keep them coming

Don’t worry, if Plan A fails then there are another 25 of them to work through

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By *appyhumper123Man
over a year ago

hull

don't come running to me if you fall and break your leg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before you criticise someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way they can't hear you and can't chase you barefoot...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst at work.

If you want a cuppa tea making or owt sweeping up. I’m your man, other than that...fuck off

How to quickly shoot down over zealous colleagues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ours has to be

"You can't polish a turd"

What's yours?"

But you can roll it in glitter!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

They say, “You are what you eat!” that’s funny. I don’t remember eating a sexy beast this morning.

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

"Stop that crying or I will give you something to cry for". Eh, what!

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By *ighamCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Higham Ferrers

Delete as applicable

He/She/they need shooting with a ball of their own shit

generally used no more than half a dozen times a day at work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're a sandwich short of a picnic x

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

My personal fav. "You are a long time dead"

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

Dude, back the fk off

Usually said several times a shift at work

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By *K430Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

What do you expect from a pig but a grunt , or if he had two brains he would be twice as thick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look after your broom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As much use as a chocolate fire guard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time to piss on the pot or get off.

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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish

Wouldn't laughth if he seen a chair walk.

Stop a clock at a thousand paces.

I've seen milk turn quicker than him(football one).

He would make a glass eye cry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my grandmothers sayings, "it's better to come from a broken home than to live in one"

And her classic "never run after a man or a bus"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When someone is whinging about some trivial,unimportant matter n I'm sick of hearing them bitch about it then I'll tell em....."Well it's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick!"

That usually stuns them into silence....for a few minutes at least lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows you're dead..

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Drier than a Nun's Chuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Drier than a Nun's Chuff

It wetter than an otters pocket

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

The KFC Slogan fits well on Fab!

It's Finger Licking Good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope your next shits a hedgehog

And

...like a blind lesbian in a fish and chip shop (thanks to Car Share

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust me I'm a doctor

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By *ydrewMan
over a year ago

forest

Im not a practising gynocolgist but i like to keep my finger in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much a saying but a movie quote, I just love it, it MUST be read in the voice of Liam neeson..... (hope this counts lol)

If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it.

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By *eus n EuropaCouple
over a year ago

warrinton

You cant educate Pork and your fucked with Spam

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You cant educate Pork and your fucked with Spam"

Oh this tickled me

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Not so much a saying but a movie quote, I just love it, it MUST be read in the voice of Liam neeson..... (hope this counts lol)

But we never took her, honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not so much a saying but a movie quote, I just love it, it MUST be read in the voice of Liam neeson..... (hope this counts lol)

But we never took her, honest

Yes you did..... but if you let her go, I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.

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By *ighamCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Higham Ferrers

Another of my favourite work ones

Couldn’t find their own arse with both hands and a torch

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Not so much a saying but a movie quote, I just love it, it MUST be read in the voice of Liam neeson..... (hope this counts lol)

But we never took her, honest

Yes you did..... but if you let her go, I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.

That Killing Malarkey, it's a bit harsh don't you think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/11/17 19:11:32]

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford

Sounds like a fart in a biscuit tin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not so much a saying but a movie quote, I just love it, it MUST be read in the voice of Liam neeson..... (hope this counts lol)

But we never took her, honest

Yes you did..... but if you let her go, I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.

That Killing Malarkey, it's a bit harsh don't you think

If someone took my daughter?!?!

What would you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look after your broom"

Plagiarist!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You give my arse toothache

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By *ewbie1972Man
over a year ago

Somewhere

"Ours has to be

"You can't polish a turd"

What's yours?"

But ya can try and roll it in glitter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In our office Yer Maw is well used for answers to various things.

Wank Bangle has recently been introduced, which I found hilarious and I still don't know why, to put it into perspective, we were having a chat about music and Morissey was mentioned, one guy piped up with Morissey? Morrissey? That cunts nothing but a wank bangle. If your reading this please try and read it with a Glasgow accent.m

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Up shit creek without a paddle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In our office Yer Maw is well used for answers to various things.

Another fav weegism for me is “Away an lie in yer pish!”

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

Run up ma ribs

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By *typical guyMan
over a year ago

wigan

You make my shit itch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An empty vessel makes the most noise

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can put lipstick on a pig...but a pig, is still a pig

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir

A significunt... someone who thinks they are important!

If you lay down with dog's you will get up with flea's

When someone tries to steal your thunder...tazer that fucker with a bolt of lightning

Madame Boo (sweetness & light)

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Think it was Kinky Butler that once said, “and Bob’s your mother’s brother”.

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By *uriousgirl85Woman
over a year ago

Lincs

When discussing how “moist” I am i often say “I’m dripping like a fucked fridge” I also like the terms;

Fanny like a yawning donkey

Face like a stunt mans knee

Fuller than a fat woman’s shoe

I want you to leave my face looking like a decorators radio... i could go on....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twat badger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

liking it up the council gritter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not so much a saying but a movie quote, I just love it, it MUST be read in the voice of Liam neeson..... (hope this counts lol)

But if you don’t I will find you

And I will kill you

Love those films

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By *bbitMan
over a year ago

Watford

To older cat to be fucked by a kitten !!!!

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Had a face like the bottom of a spot welders ruck sack.

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By *oingallknightMan
over a year ago

norwich

One of mine is...

“That’s like swapping deck chairs on the Titanic”

And one of my dads is

“Well I Go to the foot of the stairs” apparently it stops him swearing

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By * and M looking OP Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Now I am going to start to count to 10"

WTF parent chastising their child?

Child P***ing themselves laughing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Can I buy you a drink?'

I'll never tire of hearing that one.

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By *atsun xxxMan
over a year ago

Nr LOUTH Lincolnshire

My bosses dad always says

Thin people look like a matchstick with the wood shaved off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would rather set fire to the hairs on my cock than.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not rocket science!!

I’d rather drink a gallon of turpentine and piss on a bush fire

It’s a bit pearl harbour out here

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Its always ok in the end. If its not ok, its not the end.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

They have a face like a bull dog chewing a wasp..

Usually reserved for people I really don't like

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

"They have a face like a bull dog chewing a wasp..

Usually reserved for people I really don't like"

Or "a bulldog licking piss off a nettle" is a popular variation

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