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Oh and us bi women can keep our hands to ouurselves,did it occur to you the husband may have fancied you?i don't drink coffee,but it is on my shopping list cos kev likes it.
The word no has far more meaning in a club/at a party than in the vanilla scene.Use it!
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"I have been to a couple of Party's and i found out that there is never enough room plus single Woman get hunted down by Couple and single guy's.So i do give them a miss." yes we saw the same and worse. it dont happen here , its just getting that across | |||
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"ve only once been invited to a private party - it was by a couple off here and I had never had previous contact with them They were clearly trawling for single women on Fab. I declined, not knowing them, but also explained that as I'm not bi and therefore not interested in playing with couples that was another reason for me not to attend - I didn't really fancy being hassled by women to join in a MFF threesome. The above comments about hunted down by couples seem to confirm my fears about attending as a single woman. " again yes we have seen that too but that because the hosts allow it. it dosent have to be that way | |||
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"i have been to a number of clubs alone,and do not need other people make rules about my personal saftey.As for being hunted down,what a problem to be found attractive by people who want to have sex with you!
Oh and us bi women can keep our hands to ouurselves,did it occur to you the husband may have fancied you?i don't drink coffee,but it is on my shopping list cos kev likes it.
The word no has far more meaning in a club/at a party than in the vanilla scene.Use it!
"tha may work for you , lets hope it always does. not all women may be as confiden as you though , everyones different | |||
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"i have been to a number of clubs alone,and do not need other people make rules about my personal saftey.As for being hunted down,what a problem to be found attractive by people who want to have sex with you!
Oh and us bi women can keep our hands to ouurselves,did it occur to you the husband may have fancied you?i don't drink coffee,but it is on my shopping list cos kev likes it.
The word no has far more meaning in a club/at a party than in the vanilla scene.Use it!
"im with you im the only one in charge of mty personal safety ....havnt let myself down in 6 years ...i would never rely on anyone to vet my meets ....ive attended parties and clubs on my own never felt at risk ....i think the OP could easily be scaring new ladies off ... | |||
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"This is baffling because it sounds like you have done a great job organizing things. But if you say the large number of single ladies you talk to say "personal safety" is their big concern it's hard to work out why they wont then attend after you put as lot of care into sorting that aspect out. yes we do. and we do get single women attend , its just we know that there are an awful lot more that wont whatever anyone says because of what their experiences have been or indeed heard. should streaa its not like that at the majority of parties and there are some great hosts out there but if u attend your first one and it leaves a bad taste the chances are you wont go to another. a bit like going to pub and a mass fight breaks out , it may have never happened before but most people wouldnt go back Is it possible you could publicize the personal safety aspect more in your ads for the parties?" | |||
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"I don't really do the party thing either unless it's with people I know. I've been to a couple of parties in the past and had the groping and people launching themselves into a full on snog as I happened to walk past them in the hallway! It's not nice and I don't like my space being invaded in that way. What I find is that people seem to assume that you're at a swinging party so therefore you must want to play. Not always the case for me. I've always tended to meet people socially at munches or socials and then make arrangements to play at a later date. My way works for me, other people are happy to dive on in there and that's great if it works for them. I'm a sociable person and there really is no rush for me. I don't consider it a waste of time to go to a party and not play and I find that some people see that as a crap party. If there are nice people there and I have a giggle and perhaps see someone I want to play with at some point then that's great. If someone is worth playing with then they'll respect my way of doing things, if they don't then for me that's pretty clear that they're not worth playing with. I'm not always comfortable that some people aren't happy with that. I don't want to go to a party and feel like some sort of prize and I realise that sounds like I'm up myself and think I'm something special, that's not the case, I'm just me. However, to me it's very much the case that single bi females are looked upon as "rocking horse shit/hens teeth/holy grail" etc and that has always made me feel uncomfortable. I want to play with people who I find attractive and who find me attractive, I don't want to play with people simply because I happen to be a swinger at a party with other swingers and therefore must be up for it. My comfort and safety is the most important thing for me. If I'm not comfortable, I leave. " you summed it up perfectly !! and of course agree with all you say. what we say is that you shouldnt have to go to a "social" to feel theres no pressure . we created an envoirenmet where the social/play combine . mutual respect and if someone wants to dance , chat or just be there without feeling the pressure to play thats kool and of course if u want to thatskool to | |||
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"What the OP is proposing sounds fab. I've never been to a party by myself but I'd want to feel at ease with no pressure to play. If I wanted to play I would or if I only wanted to soft swing then I'd want to feel I could do just that and not feel obliged to do more "Thats exactly what we do. the majority want that . we got over 600 e mails when we posted our first party only one was negative | |||
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"This is one for single ladies. Aftre being regulars at clubs we moved on to parties. But we noticed that (in our view) many we went to had whats best described as "lax" personal safety/ security arrangements. This seemed/seems to deter single ladies in particular from attending despite many wanting to. So we started our own where we controlled the "mix" , only allow decent respectful people, strict guest list and invite onll admission and despite not charging we even enrolled a bona fide SIC door security man (a friend with working a swinging club door experience) and strictly enforce "no means no" at all times the result was fantastic, relaxed fun parties but we still struggle to tempt single wome to atend despite many veris from those that have. What else are single women looking for or we could provide for them to take the decisio to attend. We understand the concerns but would really appreciate an input from you girls who want to party but are put off by all the horror stories xxxxxxxx "Horror stories dont put me off, i have many of my own lol I do think club are a safe place to play than house parties for single females I can only talk from how i feel but i feel paying to go into a club the club owes me a certain amount of back up, what i mean by that is if i had a problem with anyone i would expect to be able to tell them and they sort it out as i feel that is part of what im paying for However if i went to a house party, where i have never paid to go to, i do not expect to party runners to be there to 'look ater me' i wouldnt dream of going over to them and moaning about their other guests, and yes i have been to house parties in the past and had some really pushy pissed up guys to the point i have left because they just have not left me alone, (and not all of them have been single guys i must add) but i would never go and tell the party runners, as the other people are their guests and its their home and they are not there to look after my safty so i feel if theres a situation someone else is making me feel uncomfy about its upto be to sort it or leave simple as but each parties are different, im not sure what you can do to make more women go, me personally if i get a invite and i want to and can make it, i just go and take it from there, you eather have a good night or you dont | |||
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"i have been to a number of clubs alone,and do not need other people make rules about my personal saftey.As for being hunted down,what a problem to be found attractive by people who want to have sex with you!
Oh and us bi women can keep our hands to ouurselves,did it occur to you the husband may have fancied you?i don't drink coffee,but it is on my shopping list cos kev likes it.
The word no has far more meaning in a club/at a party than in the vanilla scene.Use it!
"I'm perfectly capable of saying no, thanks. Nor do I assume bi women aren't capable of keeping their hands to themselves. But if I go somewhere to have fun I don't want to be spending a chunk of that time saying no to people and feeling stressed because of it. And it's not about what you think - the OP was asking why single women won't go to parties and I gave an honest answer. That's the second time in a couple of days you've had a pop at me for not wanting to go parties. Why shouldn't I not want to go? That's my business. After all, I wouldn't go to the cinema if I preferred the theatre. We all make our choices. | |||
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" ..... we created an envoirenmet where the social/play combine . mutual respect and if someone wants to dance , chat or just be there without feeling the pressure to play thats kool and of course if u want to thatskool to " Now that's the type of party I avoid. A party needs to be defined as either a social or a play party for me to be interested. Smudging the lines and trying to be best of both just puts me off. I have never been to a play party where there was any pressure to play, nor where you couldn't spend time socialising... but everyone there knows we've all gone there with the intention of finding people we want to play with. That sets the expectations and prepares me to expect someone to be making a move either verbally or physically. Thus I won't be offended if someone I don't fancy tries it on and I need to say a polite 'no thanks' or move their hand or whatever. If I was at something described as a 'social meeting' and someone tried it on..... I may well end up decking them. | |||
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"I wouldn't like to try counting the number of parties I have been to over the years and can honestly say I have never felt my safety was in danger at any of them. However.... 1 - I will NOT attend pay parties. 2 - I always have a good chat to the hosts to get a feel of their attitudes and their views of how the party will be run.....before confirming. 3 - I always ask about the other people who are going. 4 - If it doesn't sound all hunky-dory, I don't go." i have never felt unsafe but there has been a couple of times i felt like men was forcing themselves on me I found when i was a couple i didnt get this as being with a guy men was less likely to just grab what they fancied, as so to speak, men would usually ask my ex if it was ok to join in and show more respect Being single i find some guys do just see u as a easy target, they feel its easier as they have no guys to battle thro to get to you and you have noone to look out for you Im not saying all men are like this, as they are obviously not But it is something i have noticed being a couple to being single, and more so at parties than clubs | |||
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" ..... we created an envoirenmet where the social/play combine . mutual respect and if someone wants to dance , chat or just be there without feeling the pressure to play thats kool and of course if u want to thatskool to Now that's the type of party I avoid. A party needs to be defined as either a social or a play party for me to be interested. Smudging the lines and trying to be best of both just puts me off. I have never been to a play party where there was any pressure to play, nor where you couldn't spend time socialising... but everyone there knows we've all gone there with the intention of finding people we want to play with. That sets the expectations and prepares me to expect someone to be making a move either verbally or physically. Thus I won't be offended if someone I don't fancy tries it on and I need to say a polite 'no thanks' or move their hand or whatever. If I was at something described as a 'social meeting' and someone tried it on..... I may well end up decking them." lol you wouldnt need to avoid it cos we wouldnt invite you lol | |||
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" ..... we created an envoirenmet where the social/play combine . mutual respect and if someone wants to dance , chat or just be there without feeling the pressure to play thats kool and of course if u want to thatskool to Now that's the type of party I avoid. A party needs to be defined as either a social or a play party for me to be interested. Smudging the lines and trying to be best of both just puts me off. I have never been to a play party where there was any pressure to play, nor where you couldn't spend time socialising... but everyone there knows we've all gone there with the intention of finding people we want to play with. That sets the expectations and prepares me to expect someone to be making a move either verbally or physically. Thus I won't be offended if someone I don't fancy tries it on and I need to say a polite 'no thanks' or move their hand or whatever. If I was at something described as a 'social meeting' and someone tried it on..... I may well end up decking them. lol you wouldnt need to avoid it cos we wouldnt invite you lol" I wasn't being specific and referred to 'the type'.... but it's good to know one knock back was enough. Now stop being petty and move on | |||
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" ..... we created an envoirenmet where the social/play combine . mutual respect and if someone wants to dance , chat or just be there without feeling the pressure to play thats kool and of course if u want to thatskool to Now that's the type of party I avoid. A party needs to be defined as either a social or a play party for me to be interested. Smudging the lines and trying to be best of both just puts me off. I have never been to a play party where there was any pressure to play, nor where you couldn't spend time socialising... but everyone there knows we've all gone there with the intention of finding people we want to play with. That sets the expectations and prepares me to expect someone to be making a move either verbally or physically. Thus I won't be offended if someone I don't fancy tries it on and I need to say a polite 'no thanks' or move their hand or whatever. If I was at something described as a 'social meeting' and someone tried it on..... I may well end up decking them. lol you wouldnt need to avoid it cos we wouldnt invite you lol I wasn't being specific and referred to 'the type'.... but it's good to know one knock back was enough. Now stop being petty and move on "dont do petty , you seem to have that market cornered. just being honest | |||
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