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By *aradisecpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

bristol

I noticed that a cpl can go on cam and be verified but it says that a single guy has to meet someone to be verified why?..... isnt this a bit sexist

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By *ildroseandthestagCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

and?

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By *aradisecpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

bristol

Was just asking wildrose

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By *ildroseandthestagCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

..swinging generally is sexist ...ie club prices etc.. even general admittance ..some sites we are on dont allow single guys....

an explanation of why the different rule may be valid but because it is sexist is irrelevant in swinging.. dont ya fink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

errr Ok but what is being verified.

Surely it's the same thing for both. Merely the fact that they actually exist.

and ello everyone again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

didn't take long for this old topic to resurface again lol..

Verification is merely establishing that someone is who they say they are and has nothing to do with whether they actually fuck or not which is why I cant see any logical reason why single guys should be excluded, if anything, I think single guys need verifying more than any other category.

And the reason the clubs discriminate against single men is simple - if they had an equal-for-all policy they'd be swamped with single guys every night and that would drive away the couples/single fems and they be left with a club full of single men wanking themsevles silly - they'd close within a fortnight I think!

Wishy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now that's a bit pointless... I can Reply in forum or add a new post to this thread.... same thing innit?

Plus I can't edit my own posts to correct typos... grr... x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am fairly sure that anyone (single or couple, male or female) can be verified by cam, phone or in person. I have certainly verified single guys who I have only seen on webcam.

The benefit of new photo verification is that couples and women can prove that they are couples and women. Let's face it there are so many single guys that some of them probably do try to pass themselves off as someone else.

Seems a great idea and has to be good for the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The photo verification stops single men getting hold of photos of women and couples and pretending to be them,..this way people know that if they are photo verified its not a fella

S&A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have read the new rules and can see that guys can now only be verified by someone who has met them.

Again, I can understand the differences in how people are allowed to be verified. A single female or couple is unlikely to be masquerading as a single guy.

So it may seem unfair but it is the nature of adult sites.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

About time.

Will stop a percentage of the feckwits who pretend to be couples or single females.

And it buggers up those marrieds who just use this site to jerk off to.

Swinging is for the swingers I say!

Still don't like this style of forum though!!!!!

Rant to continue in ......10...9...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally agree with single guys only being verified on meets. As phone and webcam doesnt mean they are genuine in meeting.

My opinion to this is (some might disagree).

Some guys do not have intentions of meeting but to play on cam or watch others play on cam, if it states on thier profile fair enough, but i like to chat (clean cam) with a veiw to meeting not to give out kicks on cam or talk durty on msn, so if the verification is there that they have met i will contact them if not then why waste my time or theirs!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so.....them guys who aint met anyone yet wont be verified yet??

mmmmm any fit sexy new men want verifying contact me lol

after all we all have to have our 1st meet with some one ....

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never saw he point of the verification by phone or webcam in the first place. If it has been taken off for the men then surely it should be taken off for the couples and women too... someone mentioned that it doesn't prove that a guy will genuinely meet with you, and I agree with that, but it means the same of the women and couples as well.

I guess originally it was a good idea to prove that a couple was a couple and not just a single guy, but now there is the new photo system which probably makes it obsolete...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah i agree, i think its should be verification by meets only for couples and single females too, but then again there are different reasons why we are all on here, some dont like to meet and only play on cam, so then that makes them genuine in the play on cam thingy, and theres a lot that do that.

Then it can be stated on thier profile what they are looking for.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

yep.... one rule for all......

whats the point of varifying by cam or on the phone... all in shows is that it is a man or a woman at that point....

doesn't mean they wont show up or piss you about......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But that's applicable to any form of contact/dating isn't it?

There will always be timewasters/no shows/plain fantasists in any community of people looking to make contact and hook up for sex or relationship/s, all we can do is extraopolate the wheat from the chaffe using our gut instincts, experience and common sense but some will always slip through the net.

I think one does have to develop a somewhat hardened approach to swinging though and set out ones rules and adhere to them religiously because the prettiest girl in the world (online) is never going to show up for a meet if 'she' is really a 'he', and by setting out your stall from the outset in terms of how you verify people will save a lot of grief later - if 'she' won't agree to a phone call or a cam session before setting a date and venue, then you must face the very likely prospect that 'she' isn't who 'she' claims to be, or 'he', or 'them'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We think that the verification of anyone by phone or cam is useless, surely been verified means that you will actually turn up at a meet and are not a time waster or dreamer. Just been able to see someone looks like they say they are doesn't mean that they are not on this site to just collect pics or perv on the fact that you are a swinger.

I also don't like the verification of pics as all this does is verify the picture and not that they are genuine swingers, also this is very easy to fake anyone who can use photoshop oe other image software can make any pic look like its holding a piece of paper with writing on.

We ALWAYS meet with people for an 'Ice Breaker' drink and chat that way we find very quickly if they are wasting our time, also we find if we actually get on and wish to meet for some mutual fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing is, no form of verification is foolproof, it doesnt matter what we come up with it will not give certainty, but the more that is done, the less the chances are of someone being fake,..and that all any site can do.

Just add the verifications to the phone call or the webcam, add them all together and try and [and hope] that you have found a genuine person

A&S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best way to be sure someone is real.. is meet.

Foolproof so far lol...

Mike and Ju xx

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

We agree with wishy.

We think the verification is a good thing, it is a starting point to at least tell you who you are likely to be speaking to, but your own verifications will tell you more of what you need to know.

A cam to show face on and make sure it is who they say they are is a must for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No system operated by humans, swing site verification systems included, is ever going to be infallible. That said, we think it speaks volumes that of all the sites we have tried, it is most often the truly free ones (like this) that at least make a real attempt to offer members a verification facility, whereas in our experience it is mostly pricey sites which invariably pay lip service at best to ing out fakes.

A verification system should be recognised for what it is - assistance to members; not an absolute guarantee.

It is important to look at the whole picture too: verifications, a friends' list (that isn't ridiculously long!), feedback etc. It's an overall sum total.

On a closely related point, we have also found that it is invariably free sites like this that allow users to hide their profiles if they want to take time out from playing (as we currently need to) as opposed to being forced to pay through the nose for the privilege of NOT using the site for a bit! Furthermore, many pay sites make no attempt whatsoever to remove fake or disused profiles (perhaps because by not doing so they "magically" increase their claimed membership numbers?) One has to wonder how many of those mails that go forever unanswered/unread were sent to "ghost" / "shill" accounts?

We say kudos to the fabswingers administrators for all the active management of the site - all for free!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do agree that no verification system is fool proof, but you must make it as fool proof as possible or why have one!!

Your comments about pay sites having people on their database just to inflate the membership numbers, ALL site , both free and pay do this, to entice new members,problem is that all this does is to slow down database searches. I have just done a quick search for people in our area who meet our requirements and half of the search results have not logged in for the past month with some being 9 months, why not make sure that people are playing an active role within the site and delete their profile automatically if they do not log in for 1 month?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its so good to be back !...

it should be equal !..men women couples...I dont think its fair ... im sure there are lots of couple out there that give couples a `bad`name like a percentage of single men give the good uns a bad name. single men can be a pain in the ass, but there are also nice ones out there, that get tar`d with the same brush !....

scott... (far from single man)..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In reply to hornyheather,

I do not agree with your one month and out policy,... there are many reasons why people may not be around for much longer times that that, we have soldiers who are away, we have people in hospital,..hell we might have folk whos family is in crises and cant be on-line.

Turn that one month into something like six months, and I would agree, even so there are sure to be genuine swingers who could be away for longer.

S&A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with Sexywelshcouple:

I'm sure that there are loads of single men that are time wasters. However, from experience there are just as many couples that are timewasters and picture collectors!

The problem isn't "single men", the problem is inconsiderate people...which isn't gender, relationship status or sexuality specific!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With regard to the one month policy, there is ways to take into account people who have GENUINE reasons not to log in like soldiers, in hospital etc...

But having a database full of people who are taking no active role in the site is madness as it slows down the site for the rest of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and while I'm on my high horse..lol

I would prefer a site to have 1000 GENUINE swingers than 2,000,000 DREAMERS.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do take your point,... maybe the idea would be to automaticly hide the profile after it has been inactive for a month,..that way it would not appear on our search, and yet it would still be there for the owners return

S&A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i verified myself as some people on this site thought i was a fake... even tho i cam and have verifications(which one man asked if i payed people to do them for me..) i am a genuine swinger who holds the odd party too and met and made friends with lots of lovely people.I do think all should fly the flag to wipe out the wanabees tho... i cant see the point in a blank profile no pics! and then they message you for a fook? as if..! Another guy i met off here was a lovely guy and a few weeks later a guy was in a chatroom been rude and offensive and i clicked on and there was my "friend" in the pic! this guy stole his pic ffs... so if all was made to fly the flag this wudnt have happend... its good to get verified i think to make sure your you and to stamp out the fakes i think xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In reply to sugarXspice

Problem with only hiding profiles and not deleting them is that your still slowing your database searches down. A better solution may be to allow people ( as currently available) is that if you choose to hide your profile that you wouldn't have your profile deleted but if you, haven't it gets deleted after say a couple of months!

Also perhaps MAKE people picture verify, this may get rid of some of the fakers, problem is it might also get rid of some of the genuine people who just cannot be bothered!

There are ways to minimise the chance of fakers, the harder you make it on this site to fake, these fakers will leave and move on to one of the many other swinging sites!

Keep up the good work

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By *eviousLiasonsCouple
over a year ago

Travelling

WishynSiren said "Plus I can't edit my own posts to correct typos... grr... x"

Google some typing lessons?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In reply to Hornheather

I also agree with the compulsary photo verification,... this can be done even if a profile has no public or private photos

The photo you send in for photo verification is not seen by anyone private or public,.. except site owners, it is then put into your profile where only you have access to it

S&A

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

I have to say, for me the only way i would verify anybody would be to actually meeting the person in the flesh. This doesn't have to be to play, just maybe for a drink/coffee I feel that the chat on fone or see on cam is a load of rubbish. Anybody can do that but it doesn't mean they will actually turn up for a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There can sometimes be a problem with the social meeting first.

If you live in a city, or build up areas, then that is an easy thing to do,...if you live in a remote place like we do on the west coast of the Scottish Highlands, then that can sometimes be a problem...lol

We have to simply judge as best we can,...so far thankfully, we have only been wrong on once

S&A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think verification is a great idea

If only I could get verified!!!!

Mark

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why not go into the chat rooms put on a webcam, and ask someone to verify you

S&A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wanna know how that bird up there ^^^ verified herself and thats true why her profile has not been deleted after she admitted it?

unless i have got wrong end of stick?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh i dont know i read it again and i dont understand lol if she had already been verified but then verified herself?? lol hellllp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have all got the wrong end of the stick!!

I think what Carmel means is she picture verified herself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In response to hornyheather / sugarxspice:

Auto-deletion of dormant profiles after a month? This seems most excessive and unnecessary. Auto-hiding them after a month sounds reasonable and balanced.

If there is no login after another month, could perhaps an e-mail not automatically be sent to the users concerned informing them that if they don't log in within the next 30 days, the profile will be auto-deleted?

That makes a total of a 3-month period. Why? Because that's pretty much the maximum for most holiday visas abroad!

As regards comments re: dormant/hidden profiles slowing down site searches:

With all due respect, this isn't exactly the biggest database in the world; if you're finding searching it slow, one assumes that you must find trying to use e.g. price comparison websites absolutely impossible?

Slow searches are far more likely to be due to your comp not having enough available memory due to all sorts of unnecessary junk stored on it and/or unnecessary numbers of programs running while you're browsing. This is a common enough problem and a lot of people make very good money for sorting it out for you, which you needn't spend. You can easily remove redundant programs (e.g. installation progs for applications long since installed, older versions of java etc. that have long since been replaced with updates, stuff installed by the manufacturer which you never use (e.g. an e-mail / antivirus system which you never, ever use because you've chosen something else off the 'net) etc. etc. Then drefrag your disk and compact your file registry.

Also remember that running WindowsXP along with an AntiVirus guard and a web-browser is an extremely resource hungry procedure. It's quite possible that your machine may be using ALL of it's free memory just to do this, in which case it's "stealing" virtual memory from the hard-drive, drastically slowing things down. You realistically need at least 1gig of truly free memory to surf the web effectively these days even if you're still running Windows XP, and most machines over a couple of years old came with half that at best!

If you're trying to run Windows VISTA on with anything other than a modern dual-core processor and less than a full gigabyte of truly free memory, your machine will freeze up quick.

Buy and install more memory if needed. Memory cards are cheap enough.

RE: compulsory photo verification - we have to say that this is starting to sound rather "nanny state-ish". Surely adults should be allowed to make their own, informed decisions about who they'll contact and who'll they'll meet?

If you want to set yourself a criteria of refusing to arrange to meet anyone without verified pictures on their profile, there's nothing to stop you doing so. It's no different from any other rules users make for themselves e.g. will / won't reply to winks, will / won't accept friends' invites unless they've actually met / played with the people concerned, will / won't meet smokers / bi-curious / without a mobile number / cam check etc. etc. etc.

Speaking personally, back in the days when I was a single guy, one of the hardest things was getting that first meet before I was verified. Quite frankly, it made me try harder and be damn polite and reliable about it.

The obvious points bear repeating: we've met plenty that turned out to look nothing like their photos - often because the verification (if there was one at all) was obviously done YEARS before and they'd never been updated.

And finally - a user can have all the verification in the world, and still, quite simply, just mess you about through lack of basic courtesy. As WishyNSiren point out above, the fact that someone may be real does not mean that they will necessarily pitch/play.

Again, we've met our fair share of peeps that take time-wasting to a new level - they're ultra-reliable for the first meet (which they insist is purely social), express great enthusiasm for a follow-up for play - and then cancel at the last minute due to "something haven come up" or "unforeseen emergencies" etc. every time a follow-up is actually arranged. Very, very sad, but that's evidently how some get their jollies.

Our own rule with an unknown quantity - 2 strikes and out i.e. 2 cancellations for whatever reason cited, and sorry - yes, you may well be genuine and have given reasons, but life's just too short.

In short, please let adults make their own decisions about who'll they'll meet and on what criteria; it's only right!

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By *aradisecpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

bristol

Think this has gone way off track only asked why was it single men have to meet to be verified and single women and couples can be done by cam or phone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh para u know this lot LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well as a way of getting back on track, we think that if a single guys wants to verify himself on cam then so be it, after all if he looks like the guy in his profile photos then it must be him,.. weither he is there to meet, collect photos, or mess people about, is another story,.. but that also applies to us all

S&A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i missed stewie

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

You verify yourself by sending a picture to admin holding a piece of paper with name and site on it. This is so admin can verify that the pictures are genuine. Or so this is what i was led to believe by the fact there is a great big piece about it when you log on about verifing via photos and you get a little green flag as carmel did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

doh! hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in response to Insatiable_Incorrigible

Thanx for the computer lecture, but my Engineering degree in Electronics and computing already helps me here, also I have a very powerful computer, on which I do database programming and design!!!

It doesn't matter how large your database is, a fact is the more information you search the slower the results will be, having data on a database that's not required is a waste of resource, and if they don't show in results why keep this information?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We did ours.. just because we met a couple who met us purely as they didn't think our pictures were our pictures or even real lol....

Mind.. we had a great night regardless!! That'll teach em.. lol..

Took a minute.. and is private so no harm done.. and isn't compulsory either..

Mike and Ju xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Staggy ...

".some sites we are on dont allow single guys..."

Send us the site links please mate.Ta.

Karen & Ian x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I noticed that a cpl can go on cam and be verified but it says that a single guy has to meet someone to be verified why?..... isnt this a bit sexist"

Think the process filters out the hordes of single guys on here. Bit like stopping a plaque of locusts.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.


"I noticed that a cpl can go on cam and be verified but it says that a single guy has to meet someone to be verified why?..... isnt this a bit sexist

Think the process filters out the hordes of single guys on here. Bit like stopping a plaque of locusts."

Single men can be cam verified for as long as i can remember

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