FabSwingers.com forum: I fkin hate Christmas

By *ohnaron OP Man
over a year ago

london

Can't wait till it's over.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has it begun??

**For the record, I

Christmas**

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's August ya fanny x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Has it begun??

**For the record, I

Christmas**"

And me!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My 40th first please!

xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edRapscallionMan
over a year ago

London

"It's August ya fanny x"

This needs to be repeated, in the nicest possible way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello YOU!

and, erm... Merry Christmas?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

I'd quite happily have Christmas expunged from the calendar

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decorations and Christmas cards next to the school uniforms. I love the day I just hate all the hype and build up x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Hello YOU!

and, erm... Merry Christmas?

Hello yourself!

OP... if you hate Christmas why would you bother to start a thread announcing it... IN AUGUST!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well if youve started celebrating now youve got along wait

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he-Dirty-DuoMan
over a year ago

Boston

"It's August ya fanny x"

Brilliant, gave me a good laugh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edRapscallionMan
over a year ago

London

"Well if youve started celebrating now youve got along wait"

He probably has one hell of an advent calendar. I want it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has it begun??

**For the record, I

Christmas**

And me!!"

Me too, can't wait

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont even celebrate xmas but i like xmas lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good tidings

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has the countdown begun?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont bother.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Has the countdown begun? "

Surely that began boxing day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Can't wait till it's over."

why have you started it this early if you don't like it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

It's halloween first!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, since you've started the thread, OP...Marc and I have decided to go back up to Scotland for Christmas. I'm liking forward to it. Ho ho ho

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilvercharmCouple
over a year ago

Our gate

We have to dress the house for Halloween first

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I went in a Christmas shop on Sunday!!! Loved it!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christmas is no longer Christmas, shops open on the day, holiday adverts every time there a break on the telly and far, far too commercial these days

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Christmas is no longer Christmas, shops open on the day, holiday adverts every time there a break on the telly and far, far too commercial these days

Don't go to the shops or watch telly then. The day is what you make of it. It can be as special or as boring as you want.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

It's fooking August!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twas the night before Christmas..and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate Christmas. I especially hate that already in the workplace people are discussing the work Christmas night out. And holiday requests.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm it's August old bean and I simply adore yuletide

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"Twas the night before Christmas..and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse......

And a more apt lines for on Fab....

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

I love Christmas, although it is a little early..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I stayed up till 1am this morning making wine glass charms for our Christmas party. Crackers next!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bah humbug

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edRapscallionMan
over a year ago

London

"Twas the night before Christmas..and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse......

Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.

The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.

The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,

It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Wife in her teddy, and I in the nude,

Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,

That I lost my boner and wifey went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,

Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon was so bright that it lit up the yard,

The place was a mess, something hit it real hard.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a crooked old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,

A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite,

And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

"Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,

Fuckin' slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts."

Over the lamp post, and don't hit that tree,

Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,

Just as Santa leaned out and threw up in the shrub.

And then from the roof came a hell of a splatter,

As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,

When down through the chimney he came with a crash.

His suit was all soaking with perfume galore,

He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

"That was some cathouse," he said with a smile,

"The reindeer are pooped, so I'll hang for awhile."

He walked to the kitchen and poured up a drink,

Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,

The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,

But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a black leather whip,

Next were some X-rated video clips.

A box full of condoms was Santa's next find,

And a six pack of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension,

And boxes of goodies I won't even mention.

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,

And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil.

"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa would shit,

If you don't mind I'll leave it all here when I split."

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,

With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,

And he fell on his buttocks and broke wind instead.

He cursed and got up and climbed into his hitch,

"Let's go ya varmints, the night's been a bitch!"

The shuddering lurch slammed him back in his chair,

And he let out a belch as they took to the air,

Bending the lamp post and raking the tree,

He bounced off a rooftop and finally got free.

"I'm comin' home, woman!" he sang with a smirk,

"So grab both your ankles, and pull up your skirt!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moaning about Christmas seems to start earlier every year.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Can't wait till it's over."

Tit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Twas the night before Christmas..and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse......

Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.

The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.

The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,

It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Wife in her teddy, and I in the nude,

Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,

That I lost my boner and wifey went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,

Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon was so bright that it lit up the yard,

The place was a mess, something hit it real hard.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a crooked old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,

A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite,

And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

"Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,

Fuckin' slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts."

Over the lamp post, and don't hit that tree,

Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,

Just as Santa leaned out and threw up in the shrub.

And then from the roof came a hell of a splatter,

As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,

When down through the chimney he came with a crash.

His suit was all soaking with perfume galore,

He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

"That was some cathouse," he said with a smile,

"The reindeer are pooped, so I'll hang for awhile."

He walked to the kitchen and poured up a drink,

Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,

The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,

But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a black leather whip,

Next were some X-rated video clips.

A box full of condoms was Santa's next find,

And a six pack of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension,

And boxes of goodies I won't even mention.

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,

And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil.

"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa would shit,

If you don't mind I'll leave it all here when I split."

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,

With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,

And he fell on his buttocks and broke wind instead.

He cursed and got up and climbed into his hitch,

"Let's go ya varmints, the night's been a bitch!"

The shuddering lurch slammed him back in his chair,

And he let out a belch as they took to the air,

Bending the lamp post and raking the tree,

He bounced off a rooftop and finally got free.

"I'm comin' home, woman!" he sang with a smirk,

"So grab both your ankles, and pull up your skirt!""

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edRapscallionMan
over a year ago

London

"Twas the night before Christmas..and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse......

Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.

The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.

The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook,

It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Wife in her teddy, and I in the nude,

Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,

That I lost my boner and wifey went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,

Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon was so bright that it lit up the yard,

The place was a mess, something hit it real hard.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a crooked old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,

A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite,

And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

"Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,

Fuckin' slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts."

Over the lamp post, and don't hit that tree,

Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,

Just as Santa leaned out and threw up in the shrub.

And then from the roof came a hell of a splatter,

As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,

When down through the chimney he came with a crash.

His suit was all soaking with perfume galore,

He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

"That was some cathouse," he said with a smile,

"The reindeer are pooped, so I'll hang for awhile."

He walked to the kitchen and poured up a drink,

Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,

The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,

But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a black leather whip,

Next were some X-rated video clips.

A box full of condoms was Santa's next find,

And a six pack of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension,

And boxes of goodies I won't even mention.

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,

And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil.

"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa would shit,

If you don't mind I'll leave it all here when I split."

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,

With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,

And he fell on his buttocks and broke wind instead.

He cursed and got up and climbed into his hitch,

"Let's go ya varmints, the night's been a bitch!"

The shuddering lurch slammed him back in his chair,

And he let out a belch as they took to the air,

Bending the lamp post and raking the tree,

He bounced off a rooftop and finally got free.

"I'm comin' home, woman!" he sang with a smirk,

"So grab both your ankles, and pull up your skirt!"

Not my own composition

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A thread like this before December 1st deserves a ban!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's August you fanny x

any better ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"A thread like this before December 1st deserves a ban!

I agree

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aren1956TV/TS
over a year ago

Fakenham

[Removed by poster at 16/08/16 22:59:17]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for me its one of those days to get through - i usually work it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Random.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is anybody even thinking as far ahead as Christmas ?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"A thread like this before December 1st deserves a ban!

I can't.

I'm not a massive fan but I posted a thread on Christmas crackers about a month ago... it would be a tad hypocritical.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"A thread like this before December 1st deserves a ban!

I can't.

I'm not a massive fan but I posted a thread on Christmas crackers about a month ago... it would be a tad hypocritical.

Just fucking do it woman

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Is anybody even thinking as far ahead as Christmas ?!

When you organise the Christmas party you have to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is anybody even thinking as far ahead as Christmas ?!

Yes!! We have planned out our whole Christmas holiday in Scotland again this year.

Planning ahead is a good thing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Selfridges opened their Christmas shop a couple weeks ago, no doubt to avoid the last minute rush!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"A thread like this before December 1st deserves a ban!

I can't.

I'm not a massive fan but I posted a thread on Christmas crackers about a month ago... it would be a tad hypocritical.

Ooo Im tempted...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A thread like this before December 1st deserves a ban!

I can't.

I'm not a massive fan but I posted a thread on Christmas crackers about a month ago... it would be a tad hypocritical.

Ooo Im tempted...

Do you accept bribes?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

Any season should be jolly fa la la la la la la...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is anybody even thinking as far ahead as Christmas ?!

When you organise the Christmas party you have to.

Makes sense to be fair.. Im not very organised

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is anybody even thinking as far ahead as Christmas ?!

Yes!! We have planned out our whole Christmas holiday in Scotland again this year.

Planning ahead is a good thing

Holidays are understandable too.. That sounds amazing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love Christmas,,,fucking LOVE IT

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

129 days

23 hours

59 mins... but whos counting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where's my Grinch emote?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like Christmas but I hate the build up that starts too early,spoils the magic of it imo.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely love Christmas, I love seeing all the twinkly lights when you go out, the warm feeling when you walk in and see the tree beautifully decorated and the smell of cinnamon and spiced orange from the homemade decorations. I love making the effort to see family. I love all the parties and I love spoiling my friends and family with presents.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son told me I can't have a Christmas tree this year.

I told him to fuck off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love christmas cant wait already started christmas shopping for kids ill be nagging the wife to let me put the tree up in november lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh,and you're off my naughty list.

Misery guts.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love christmas cant wait already started christmas shopping for kids ill be nagging the wife to let me put the tree up in november lol

Rub it in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just catching up

But

christmas ....

But only in august ...so i will start getting excited in december

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unglasgow69Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Only 130 days to go the countdown has begun woohoo lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

I don't hate it,I dislike it and I'm happy when it's over though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't wait till it's over."

Humbug its fecking august not fecking december why bring it fecking up now and yes i hate fecking christmas .

Humbug

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two xmases ago I got poorly and spent the entire day laid on the sofa with a bottle of cava and a box of choccies,,,,,it really was the best Christmas I ever had,,I'm planning to do the same this year and can thoroughly recommend it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread