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Work Is Dull ...... Best Jokes Please

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland

[Removed by poster at 02/02/16 09:11:04]

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland

Balls. Deleted by accident

Anyone got and good jokes news this boring day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's one...I hope you're sitting comfortably

What's black and white and rolls down a hill??

A penguin rolling down a hill...

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland

LOL ..... Simple jokes I like

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Some nuns are working in the convent on a hot day sweltering in their habits. They ask mother superior if they can remove their habits to cool down. To their surprise she agrees saying "its Ok sisters there are no men here let us be as nature intended"

After stripping off there is a knock at the door followed by a male voice calling "blind man"

The nuns panic, naked, hurriedly trying to put their habits back on. "Calm now sisters" says mother superior "he is blind, he cannot see us let him in and show him charity"

So the nuns open the door and the man enters exclaiming "cracking tits love!"

"I thought you said you were a blind man" exclaims mother superior outraged

"I am" says the man holding up two rolls "where do you want them hung?"

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland

Hahaha haha ha haha

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Here's a couple of sheep jokes...

I saw my Aussie mate the other day, walking down the street with a sheep under each arm. I shouted 'Hi mate, you shearing?' then he said 'naa mate, I'm gonna fuck 'em both meself.'

How does a Welshman find sheep in long grass?

Irresistible

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland

LOL, like the Aussie one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Man was sitting in the bar when a stunning lady approached him and said "Hello again"

The man so stunned that he should not remember such a beautiful women asks politely "How do I know you?"

"Your the father of one of my children" she replied.

The man now mortified that he cannot remember such a night of being unfaithful to his wife wracks his brain.

" OHhhh....you must be that stripper that I had sex with on the pool table, whilst all my friends stood round and watched and your friend whipped my bum with wet celery!"

"NO!" She exclaimed...."I'm your sons school teacher"

Sorry but it chuckled me when I heard it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have that body of an 18 year old.....

I keep it in the fridge.

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By *hynewguy2012Man
over a year ago

dartford

I've put this here before but I like it

The guy who wrote the hockey y song died last week .

It took them hours to put him into his coffin .

Left leg in , you put the left leg out , in out , in out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Balls. Deleted by accident

Anyone got and good jokes news this boring day"
do you want a dirty joke ???? ........................................ A boy fell in the mud

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland

Hahaha that's brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy goes to the doc and says... I'm worried my wife is going deaf, but, dont want to upset her by mentioning it.

OK, says the doc... here is what you do.. When your wife is in the kitchen ask a question in a normal voice when you are in the bedroom, if your wife doesnt answer, walk closer and repeat the question.

So, next day the guy asks his wife.. whats for dinner darling?.. no reply, he moves into the lounge and repeats the question... no reply, he moves to the kitchen door and repeats the question... no reply. Now standing next to his wife asks the question again.

His wife says.... For fuck sake George, for the 5th time.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that a space bra your wearing in your profile pic? It must be a space bra because your boobs are out of this world! Boom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definition of a glass bra ???? ...........................................smash and grab mmmmmmmm

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland


"Is that a space bra your wearing in your profile pic? It must be a space bra because your boobs are out of this world! Boom "

LOL ..... Good one

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By *aughty Thoughts99Couple
over a year ago

Drogheda

Ok a " yo momma " joke

What's the difference between a joke and 3 cocks ......

Yo momma can't take a joke ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between anal sex and microwave cooking? Microwave cooking doesn't brown your meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between light and hard????

You can go to sleep with the light on!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.....

Sorry, I have a free day too. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a bj and anal sex?

A blow job makes your day....anal makes your hole weak!!!

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By *urnziMan
over a year ago

Cheshire

What's a gangbang girls favorite drink? ???????

7up in cider

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time."

"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland


"Ok a " yo momma " joke

What's the difference between a joke and 3 cocks ......

Yo momma can't take a joke ??"

Made me proper LOL, more yo momma jokes

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland


"Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time."

"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!""

Love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy says to his swinger girlfriend we've been screwing everything that moves now for ages how come I havnt met your parents ? Girlfriend says well they are a little odd wasn't sure you would want to meet them ,boyfriend says well look instead of going to chams tonight let's go round yours so I can meet them,girlfriend says well I was looking to have a good fucking at chams in the public room with all them yummy hard single guys watching but ok so they both walk in her living room door dads sitting in armchair with his cock and balls hanging out and a matchstick holding his eye open and the mums sitting in the corner with a bottle of corona stuck up her wet snatch ,boyfriend grabs girlfriend pulls her into kitchen says god yes they are odd are they swingers ? Girlfriend says no silly they are deaf and dumb and sending eachother sign language oh he says what they saying ? G/f mums saying " get the beer in you cunt " and dads saying " ballocks I'm watching the match "

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland

Was that with your last girlfriend LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was that with your last girlfriend LOL"
hehe did you like though ?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers. "

This boy's quite funny

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland


"Was that with your last girlfriend LOL hehe did you like though ? "

I did LOL

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland

Where are all the Fab Top Trumps coming from?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where are all the Fab Top Trumps coming from?"
don't know but does it matter ?? A guy walked into a swingers bar .........................OUCH it was an iron bar

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

What's green and smells like bacon?

.

.

Kermits cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cos i'm single my old aunty always comes up to me at family weddings, pokes me in the ribs and says "your next" ..... she stopped after i did the same to her at a funeral.

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland


"What's green and smells like bacon?

.

.

Kermits cock "

The office liked that one ..... One of my colleagues resembles Kermit LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off

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By *ussiesCouple
over a year ago

gwent

Yo mamma is so ugly,

Even her vibrator has to take viagra

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

someone threw a bottle of omega 3 tablets at me when out cycling I'm ok though I only resieved super fish oil injuries

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland


"Yo mamma is so ugly,

Even her vibrator has to take viagra "

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By *iss Adventure OP   Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland


" someone threw a bottle of omega 3 tablets at me when out cycling I'm ok though I only resieved super fish oil injuries "

LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the definition of pain?

An elephant sliding down a razor blade using his balls for brakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yo momma's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yo Momma's so bald, I can read her mind.

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