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Competitiveness

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By *rank Einstein OP   Man
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

Good or bad?

Healthy or not?

When is it ok and when is it an issue?

Any thoughts appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's necessary.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It's life.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Healthy competition is always a good thing where competition is warranted.

When you get those people who always feel they have to "one-up" you or put you down in everyday situations though, not so good.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Healthy competition is always a good thing where competition is warranted.

When you get those people who always feel they have to "one-up" you or put you down in everyday situations though, not so good."

I think it's a bit shit that they don't have winners at school sports days in some places. It's good to take part but there's a lot to be said for winning. A little competition makes people try harder. I'm all for that.

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By *rank Einstein OP   Man
over a year ago

Burton upon stather


"Healthy competition is always a good thing where competition is warranted.

When you get those people who always feel they have to "one-up" you or put you down in everyday situations though, not so good."

Just to be pedantic, where would you draw the line between healthy and unhealthy competition with a few examples?

I think the one uppers have some buried inferiority issues so over-compensate

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By *rank Einstein OP   Man
over a year ago

Burton upon stather


"Healthy competition is always a good thing where competition is warranted.

When you get those people who always feel they have to "one-up" you or put you down in everyday situations though, not so good.

I think it's a bit shit that they don't have winners at school sports days in some places. It's good to take part but there's a lot to be said for winning. A little competition makes people try harder. I'm all for that. "

YES! I couldn't agreed more.

Teaching children that you don't need to try to win is a bad idea.

You don't get anywhere in life by not trying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Competitiveness is stupid.

Do your best, congratulate yourself for waking up and trying again for another day because so many people out there can't or don't want to.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Healthy competition is always a good thing where competition is warranted.

When you get those people who always feel they have to "one-up" you or put you down in everyday situations though, not so good.

I think it's a bit shit that they don't have winners at school sports days in some places. It's good to take part but there's a lot to be said for winning. A little competition makes people try harder. I'm all for that. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plus not everyone is going to value you for winning. It's a bit fake really, like 'i'm the best at *whatever', doubt you are really coz out of 7 billion people you are not gonna be the best, there'll be loads out there who don't care to prove it that's all.

It's just trying to prove you have some value in a world where people value the unimportant. Look at how much money sports makes, and the amount of people who think they're the best because they only support that team, lol, stupid, all you did was give them money.

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By *northernsoulMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Competitiveness is stupid.

Do your best, congratulate yourself for waking up and trying again for another day because so many people out there can't or don't want to."

I'll second that, especially when competitiveness turns into nothing but bravado (and it does at lot where men are concerned).

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I'm not that competitive. I know plenty of people who are and find a lot of them a bit tiresome. There's nothing like watching 2 grown men playing top trumps over who's seen the most episodes of Red Dwarf.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I would like to add that I think competition is in principle a good thing not just for the winners (and runners up) but also it is such a valuable life lesson that we cannot always win and nobody is fab at everything. Losing is part of life and it seems to be wrapped up a little bit these days when there are games with no winners and losers. How are kids meant to learnt about life? The first experience of losing will be painful and even more so if learnt as a teenager or young adult.

That said, learning to lose is best introduced gently and in a controlled environment perhaps at home playing games.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Competitiveness definitely has it's place in life even if sometimes it's only with yourself.

Being a gracious winner or a good looser shows your true spirit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Competitiveness is stupid.

Do your best, congratulate yourself for waking up and trying again for another day because so many people out there can't or don't want to.

I'll second that, especially when competitiveness turns into nothing but bravado (and it does at lot where men are concerned)."

Seen it with women too, the bitchiness and jealousy of someone else makes them think they have nothing to offer so have to drag down someone else to worthless make themselves feel better.

I've seen women slagging off new mums who are learning and trying, they don't offer to help them out. Instead they just make these learners want to give up. Sad. It's a projection of their own insecurities and trying to prove to themselves that they are doing a good job and better than someone else instead of focusing on improving themselves for their own personal reasons.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


" It's a projection of their own insecurities and trying to prove to themselves that they are doing a good job and better than someone else instead of focusing on improving themselves for their own personal reasons."

Absolutely agree with you (Sorry not quoting your whole post) and maybe those who need to do that have never learnt to lose themselves, have never been given the opportunity to develop a healthy self-worth and self esteem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a middle of the pack girl. I love the anonymity of never being top or first at anything.

No one challenges losers. I'm happy with that.

Xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" It's a projection of their own insecurities and trying to prove to themselves that they are doing a good job and better than someone else instead of focusing on improving themselves for their own personal reasons.

Absolutely agree with you (Sorry not quoting your whole post) and maybe those who need to do that have never learnt to lose themselves, have never been given the opportunity to develop a healthy self-worth and self esteem. "

Yeah no problem, i cut messages myself sometimes if i'm only responding to some of it.

There's nothing to prove to anyone. You have traits some admire, some useful, and a whole host of other stuff you admire yourself and are proud to have. Doesn't give you a value though, doesn't make you better than anyone else. it makes you an amenity to some people and that is all.

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By *rank Einstein OP   Man
over a year ago

Burton upon stather


"I'm a middle of the pack girl. I love the anonymity of never being top or first at anything.

No one challenges losers. I'm happy with that.

Xxxxx "

You don't have anything you're particularly good at?

Not being good at anything is different to not being competitive.

Surely you must have something you are better at than most people you know?

And if you do it's ok to be proud of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it is, be the best in what you do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the op means here as well as publicly, then here there is a hell of a lot of competition and well, I dont feel I can compete with it. Just my personal opinion of myself

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 25/08/15 17:12:22]

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"If the op means here as well as publicly, then here there is a hell of a lot of competition and well, I dont feel I can compete with it. Just my personal opinion of myself "
That is a shame, really I mean that. Everybody has something they are good at, something about them that looks nice and when I meet new people, not just in the scene, I usually find something I like or even admire about them.

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London


"Competitiveness is stupid.

Do your best, congratulate yourself for waking up and trying again for another day because so many people out there can't or don't want to.

I'll second that, especially when competitiveness turns into nothing but bravado (and it does at lot where men are concerned)."

You're absolutely right.

Women never involve themselves with competitiveness or bravado.

Only men stoop so low.

(Do I get bonus points on my white knight disloyalty card now?)

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

There is another thought... thinking about where competitive thinking comes from originally. I guess being the fastest would have meant being the one who got the food and consequently survived. Maybe it is a relict from those times? But then again, in today's times winning is associated with power which many people find attractive. Perhaps again because its underlying association is strength... survival etc... Who knows...

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"I would like to add that I think competition is in principle a good thing not just for the winners (and runners up) but also it is such a valuable life lesson that we cannot always win and nobody is fab at everything. Losing is part of life and it seems to be wrapped up a little bit these days when there are games with no winners and losers. How are kids meant to learnt about life? The first experience of losing will be painful and even more so if learnt as a teenager or young adult.

That said, learning to lose is best introduced gently and in a controlled environment perhaps at home playing games."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is another thought... thinking about where competitive thinking comes from originally. I guess being the fastest would have meant being the one who got the food and consequently survived. Maybe it is a relict from those times? But then again, in today's times winning is associated with power which many people find attractive. Perhaps again because its underlying association is strength... survival etc... Who knows..."

Tournament species are like this. They use superficiality and agression to ensure their genes survive.

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By *northernsoulMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Competitiveness is stupid.

Do your best, congratulate yourself for waking up and trying again for another day because so many people out there can't or don't want to.

I'll second that, especially when competitiveness turns into nothing but bravado (and it does at lot where men are concerned).

You're absolutely right.

Women never involve themselves with competitiveness or bravado.

Only men stoop so low.

(Do I get bonus points on my white knight disloyalty card now?)"

If you like. Although, this isn't a competition.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"Healthy competition is always a good thing where competition is warranted.

When you get those people who always feel they have to "one-up" you or put you down in everyday situations though, not so good.

Just to be pedantic, where would you draw the line between healthy and unhealthy competition with a few examples?

I think the one uppers have some buried inferiority issues so over-compensate "

It always makes me think the one-uppers have self-esteem issues.

I'm not sure how to put into words where you'd draw the line but I've known plenty of people take it into situations where it's not warranted. But, again, I'd say they were "one-uppers".

Say, for example, baking things for a charity sale and getting that one person who always seems to scoff at everyone else and says something like "Oh, you only made 100 cupcakes? I brought cupcakes, cookies, sausage rolls and apple pies and my daughter made the brownies. I guess some people jist don't care as much as I do" kind of thing (ok, I've only witnessed this once, but you know what I mean).

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

One of my ex's was one of those people who couldn't let you have anything either.

He was a sore loser AND winner and anything that made you feel good or proud of yourself, he had to put you down for it. But then again, he was an abusive cunt and that was obviously more down to control on his part. x

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've never been particularly competitive, however, we need some in our lives.

How do children learn to function in the real world without knock backs, how do they learn that they might not win prizes for maths but they shine at sport. Competition gives us the umpff we need.

We need to know that we all have something we are good at and we do, in some cases it's just finding it.

But I can't bloody stand one upmanship, or I'm better than you attitude.

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Good or bad?

Healthy or not?

When is it ok and when is it an issue?

Any thoughts appreciated "

I think in this country there's too much emphasis that competition or winning is a bad thing.

I admire the Australian mentality when it comes to sport and they have a winning attitude.

To be a winner and/or to be competitive automatically tags you to be arrogant or have no personality with it.

I have always enjoyed competition and being competitive. Including when I haven't won!

When I've won, I've felt good about myself, enjoyed and deserved my moment and acted gracefully and with respect; whether there have been opponents or just in competition with myself.

When I've lost, I haven't enjoyed losing but nevertheless, congratulated my opponent. Sometimes miffed because they have had the rub of the green, sometimes a my outright well deserved winner!

It's given me the drive to do better next time.

But regardless to winning or losing, I have thoroughly enjoyed competition. It's stimulating and something that has a place in society and is much needed. Business, Sports, Family Games or otherwise.

Competition is not a bad thing. Winning is not a bad thing.

It should be encouraged in schools and explained that there are always going to be people better or worse than you at something. And equally you will be to them.

But the important thing for the individual is to compete with yourself before others and improve your personal best. That you have control of.

Enjoy competition. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the op means here as well as publicly, then here there is a hell of a lot of competition and well, I dont feel I can compete with it. Just my personal opinion of myself That is a shame, really I mean that. Everybody has something they are good at, something about them that looks nice and when I meet new people, not just in the scene, I usually find something I like or even admire about them. "

Thank you for saying this. Ive been told I have nice eyes before now, always get the usual comments about body too, nice boobs, etc. But I suppose its a normal comment on here regardless of body shape or size.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am amused that the FA are promoting non-competitive football up to the age of 12 now. Yet all the teams play to win. I think over-emphasis on competition can be harmful if it is to the detriment of development, cooperation and each other's welfare. However anti-competitive approaches in things like sport in schools are just as detrimental. Balance and awareness are required for competition be handled healthily. Unfortunately it appears to me that balance and awareness are often in short supply, so people naturally tend to gravitate to one end or the other of the competition spectrum, often based on their childhood experiences of competition.

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I am amused that the FA are promoting non-competitive football up to the age of 12 now. Yet all the teams play to win. I think over-emphasis on competition can be harmful if it is to the detriment of development, cooperation and each other's welfare. However anti-competitive approaches in things like sport in schools are just as detrimental. Balance and awareness are required for competition be handled healthily. Unfortunately it appears to me that balance and awareness are often in short supply, so people naturally tend to gravitate to one end or the other of the competition spectrum, often based on their childhood experiences of competition."

Ultimately, I agree with awareness and believe competition should be promoted as normal, healthy and a good thing (for the most part), and from the ground up, education should promote that you compete gracefully, win gracefully and lose gracefully.

Having said this though, the emotion captured in competition are attributes we all know and have, and love.

Take Gazza's tears in Italy 90 after his yellow card, knowing he'd miss the final.

Take Eubank with his arrogant swagger and persona when entering the ring and fighting.

Take Naz with his party orientated approach, filled with cockiness and confidence.

Take the Eagle Edwards impressively competing in the ski jump but finishing last.

The Jamaican bob sleigh team, Frank Bruno, the delights of Brazil or the flair of Ronaldo, Messi and Neymar.

I know these are all sport examples as when we talk about competition we do naturally think of the sporting world. But you could mention other people that compete in their own worlds thriving to be the best or successful or both. Simon Cowell, Donald Trump, Beyoncé.

All the above examples are successful, competitive people and act in different ways with their success and competitiveness.

Some you may love, some you may not, but generally we find them interesting to watch, observe, cheer with/against, finally see them win, finally see them defeated.

So is competition really a bad thing?

I certainly don't think so.

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