FabSwingers.com forum: If you knew....

By (user no longer on site) OP
Forum Mod
over a year ago

That someone had a form of aspergers or autism would you find it easy to make allowances for their thinking to be a little different to how you see things?

I have found that having to look at things from a perspective that I would never have thought about can be quite refreshing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do no some with autism and yes

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"That someone had a form of aspergers or autism would you find it easy to make allowances for their thinking to be a little different to how you see things?

I have found that having to look at things from a perspective that I would never have thought about can be quite refreshing"
Yes, i agree, but i know some ppl wont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I would and do H.P.C.

The most intelligent and experienced of people find delight in many kinds of thinking and a wide range of behaviours in others and let's be honest.....it's so bloody educational to be pushed to think a little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That someone had a form of aspergers or autism would you find it easy to make allowances for their thinking to be a little different to how you see things?

I have found that having to look at things from a perspective that I would never have thought about can be quite refreshingYes, i agree, but i know some ppl wont"

I'd have guessed you would x lovely x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being a thick fooker though, I would need a few clues

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

yes I hope I would but if honest, don't fully understand what the conditions 'look like'.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Autism is a very broad condition.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

We have a very dear friend who has aspergers, he is the sweetest guy you could ever wish to meet and we have learned to adapt and adjust to his often whacky behaviour.

However he recently lost both his parents in quick succession to illness, and having been left a small fortune (they were big hotel owners down this way) he has already been taken advantage of financially by people looking for investments in questionable business ventures.

We managed to get him along to see a good family solicitor to safeguard his future by way of trust funding.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Autism is a very broad condition."
What about Asbergers....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we are all different and some have conditions which others may find hard to understand.

even those which are classed as unwell can be intelligent people and it is just as important to listen to them and treat them as equal.

sometimes listening gives you a different point of _iew. and that _iew can come from anyone.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

People accept physical disabilities more readily than they do other types....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless you know someone, how do you recognise conditions like that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Unless you know someone, how do you recognise conditions like that?

Sometimes just by listening or watching someone and seeing how they can see and do things in a more literal way than you or I do

you think to yourself oh that makes sense but its not how im conditioned to see it

Thast just a tiny example though and im not an expert,sometimes its really obvious and sometimes its not so obvious

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

How nice it is to see the comments on here about Asbergers and Autism.

The guy who came on to the forum about 6-9 months ago who had this or a similar condition was given a hard time on his first post, even though he had his condition clearly stated on his profile.

I hope this is a case of people having learnt a lesson. (I can't rmember who gave him a hard time, but as they say, if the cap fits!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I wish it was _umour xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At risk of being battered could I just say .......Aspergers.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"How nice it is to see the comments on here about Asbergers and Autism.

The guy who came on to the forum about 6-9 months ago who had this or a similar condition was given a hard time on his first post, even though he had his condition clearly stated on his profile.

I hope this is a case of people having learnt a lesson. (I can't rmember who gave him a hard time, but as they say, if the cap fits!)

Totally agree, and it is only a few moments ago that he was still getting a hard time.

Sometimes this piss taking goes way too far, and maybe the people who say they would make allowances for disabilities are not really telling the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That someone had a form of aspergers or autism would you find it easy to make allowances for their thinking to be a little different to how you see things?

I have found that having to look at things from a perspective that I would never have thought about can be quite refreshing"

I always try to look at things from different perspectives to my own. It's all about the art of communication.

Sometimes the world is a whole different place when seen through my grandson's eyes, completely different than through the eyes of my niece who has a form of autism.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"At risk of being battered could I just say .......Aspergers. "

Ooops!! Thinking of me dinner!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How nice it is to see the comments on here about Asbergers and Autism.

The guy who came on to the forum about 6-9 months ago who had this or a similar condition was given a hard time on his first post, even though he had his condition clearly stated on his profile.

I hope this is a case of people having learnt a lesson. (I can't rmember who gave him a hard time, but as they say, if the cap fits!)

Totally agree, and it is only a few moments ago that he was still getting a hard time.

Sometimes this piss taking goes way too far, and maybe the people who say they would make allowances for disabilities are not really telling the truth."

It's difficult to guage true reaction from text. At times I feel it's an equally balanced debate with a certain party showing a great ability to respond but then I ask myself if this is only my perception. I didn't sense piss taking just banter.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

That depends on wether the banter is being welcomed as to wether it is banter.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Unless you know the person has an aspergers condition you wouldn't be in a position to judge whether their behaviour/attitude was down to a medical condition.

Our friend was arrested in Plymouth for commenting on the lovely backside of a policewoman as she walked past, she had no way of knowing he sometimes can't control what he says....because he often says the first thing that enters his head.

We managed to clear it up before they got him in the back of the van.....but she couldn't have known his condition.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Autism is a very broad condition.What about Asbergers....?"

I can only assume that would be too.I have a niece who has Autism to a very severe degree but I do know it's range can be very broad.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"How nice it is to see the comments on here about Asbergers and Autism.

The guy who came on to the forum about 6-9 months ago who had this or a similar condition was given a hard time on his first post, even though he had his condition clearly stated on his profile.

I hope this is a case of people having learnt a lesson. (I can't rmember who gave him a hard time, but as they say, if the cap fits!)

Totally agree, and it is only a few moments ago that he was still getting a hard time.

Sometimes this piss taking goes way too far, and maybe the people who say they would make allowances for disabilities are not really telling the truth.

I agree and its clear the banter was from both sides but the banter becomes nasty when some people can't see a different point of _iew and just see someone a bit different to them as "sport"

You sometimes don't even have to be an expert to notice certain things about people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That depends on wether the banter is being welcomed as to wether it is banter."

Yep. That's totally true. My take was that it was being _iewed as fun or at least stimulating. If i'm not privvy to it 'not being welcomed ' then I won't have realised it wasn't ..... ( christ.... I know what i mean )

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I could write a long rambling post about Asbergers but check out this link it is more concise and accurate than i can be ....take a look it wont harm you xx

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/autism2.shtml

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

It is extremely difficult to see mental disabilities rather than physical. You have to take time to know the person. It can be very frustrating for both the person with the illness and for the person trying to understand. Not just aspergers and autism but other mental illness. No one illness fits a certain catogary although they will have similiar symptoms. Also different things have to be taken into account like if the person is tired can play a part. Literal thinking is very hard to understand, some days are worse than others. When my friends son was younger if you where going out and said "go to the bathroom" as you would to most he would go to the bathroom and just stand there, you had to tell him exactly what to do.

Also there are quite a few mental illnesses that only affect people with above average intelligence.

In written word you can only see each word no emphazize, no expression. As from many many posts each and everyone of us interprets things differently anyway.

BUT i do feel banter and piss taking are two different things (and yes both exist on here) shoud someone who may be slightly different be exempt from banter and made to feel even more different?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

You sometimes don't even have to be an expert to notice certain things about people"

I stopped posting on a thread last night and haven't on any similar today.

Felt guilty that I had questioned the OP's wording...

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"That someone had a form of aspergers or autism would you find it easy to make allowances for their thinking to be a little different to how you see things?

I have found that having to look at things from a perspective that I would never have thought about can be quite refreshing"

I would understand they process information in different ways... focusing and filtering different bits of information to most people.

However.....the condition does not excuse anyone from coming to shite conclusions or having narrow-minded and bigoted opinions.

How we see the world and process information is just different path to our beliefs... it is what grows there which matters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting point Diamondsmiles. I don't believe I was piss taking BUT whether I was or not it's easier if I just stay off his threads altogether. At least there's no running risks of accusations then.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

It's going to be a bit of a minefield if we have to second guess who has aspergers on here and who doesn't, I only read the profiles of those that I have an interest in....not those of everyone who posts on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could write a long rambling post about Asbergers but check out this link it is more concise and accurate than i can be ....take a look it wont harm you xx

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/autism2.shtml"

I'll have a look thanks

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"It is extremely difficult to see mental disabilities rather than physical. You have to take time to know the person. It can be very frustrating for both the person with the illness and for the person trying to understand. Not just aspergers and autism but other mental illness. No one illness fits a certain catogary although they will have similiar symptoms. Also different things have to be taken into account like if the person is tired can play a part. Literal thinking is very hard to understand, some days are worse than others. When my friends son was younger if you where going out and said "go to the bathroom" as you would to most he would go to the bathroom and just stand there, you had to tell him exactly what to do.

Also there are quite a few mental illnesses that only affect people with above average intelligence.

In written word you can only see each word no emphazize, no expression. As from many many posts each and everyone of us interprets things differently anyway.

BUT i do feel banter and piss taking are two different things (and yes both exist on here) shoud someone who may be slightly different be exempt from banter and made to feel even more different?"

No I don't think o.

The only thing I would say is, a good piss taker will know when it isn't welcome and when to stop. If they don't then I think it is as HPC says, and they see it as a sport.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That someone had a form of aspergers or autism would you find it easy to make allowances for their thinking to be a little different to how you see things?

I have found that having to look at things from a perspective that I would never have thought about can be quite refreshing"

If I knew, then yes. But i don't read every profile that posts on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Autism is a very broad condition."

Yes and it has been suggested that we all have a kind of autism to a lesser or greater degree.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

It's difficult to guage true reaction from text. "

Which is why the written word often puts people with AS on a level playing field, as it is the non-verbal communication which falls into their blind-spot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How nice it is to see the comments on here about Asbergers and Autism.

The guy who came on to the forum about 6-9 months ago who had this or a similar condition was given a hard time on his first post, even though he had his condition clearly stated on his profile.

I hope this is a case of people having learnt a lesson. (I can't rmember who gave him a hard time, but as they say, if the cap fits!)

Totally agree, and it is only a few moments ago that he was still getting a hard time.

Sometimes this piss taking goes way too far, and maybe the people who say they would make allowances for disabilities are not really telling the truth."

some truth in that. people will poke fun and say they are only messing about but the truth is they are bullying that person.

like i said before. listening is the key and understanding.

dont have to pity just be a friend. you lose nothing and gain an insight into someone elses world.

an eye opener.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"How nice it is to see the comments on here about Asbergers and Autism.

The guy who came on to the forum about 6-9 months ago who had this or a similar condition was given a hard time on his first post, even though he had his condition clearly stated on his profile.

I hope this is a case of people having learnt a lesson. (I can't rmember who gave him a hard time, but as they say, if the cap fits!)

Just to let you know I am still in touch with the guy in question and he's ok, misses Fab tho

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Everyday, my child has autistic spectrum disorder as do a few friends.

Wiggles also acuses me of having far to many of the same traits as my daughter too..

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I disagree with my esteemed colleague above. I think that forums are in fact even harder for such people.

We who are used to processing non-verbal communications have a much better chance of identifying the underlying tone of a forum post (we still get it wrong, but we're generally close).

Those who have no concept of it have no chance, hence the spiralling misunderstanding on another thread.

It's tricky because "I've got X condition" shouldn't be an excuse for posting bollocks, or an exemption from banter.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Errr...it was polo I was disagreeing with. She was above me when I started typing!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I disagree with my esteemed colleague above. I think that forums are in fact even harder for such people.

We who are used to processing non-verbal communications have a much better chance of identifying the underlying tone of a forum post (we still get it wrong, but we're generally close).

Those who have no concept of it have no chance, hence the spiralling misunderstanding on another thread.

It's tricky because "I've got X condition" shouldn't be an excuse for posting bollocks, or an exemption from banter."

People without AS often say "oh I didn't mean it literally" and we all have to guess when not to take something as it written... which causes more misunderstanding than someone who says and means things literally... and generally has good to excellent vocabulary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes definately. There are a couple of people I know who I suspect have either one or the other and I do think more about how I interpret what they say and how I say things to them too.

Seems to have worked with a colleague, we're great friends now and she confides in me about all sorts which I think is a result of her feeling understood when we talk.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

I had to take an autism spectrum test a few weeks ago and apparently I have more than a few autistic tendancies and an autistic range of 35.

Now, whether or not the test I took is a true scientific test of autism is not for me to judge but it does explain a few things.

I will definately be looking at this type of disability differently from now on.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Many people with Asperger's have the _iew that it is a difference, rather than a disability.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many people with Asperger's have the _iew that it is a difference, rather than a disability."

As do most people with 'disabilities'.

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By *ig bird brightWoman
over a year ago

Swansea

i have a son who has asd and on the serve end off the spectrum it is a very hard condition to live with and understand. and alot off people are igorant and have no understanding and just think you have a un-controlable child. but asd people find it hard understand the world round them or emotions. also i have autistic quirks and also i,m dyslexic and find it hard to chat or write what i,m thinking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That someone had a form of aspergers or autism would you find it easy to make allowances for their thinking to be a little different to how you see things?

I have found that having to look at things from a perspective that I would never have thought about can be quite refreshing"

As an able bodied person myself I tend to treat everybody else as though they are too, but only until I am made aware that a particular person may not be as abled as myself, and on that basis I adjust the way I deal with that person in the best manner that I can to ensure an suitable connection between both of us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's strange i still don't see my posts as being 'different' to others just the content questionable

but maybe that is the problem?

analogy

it's like 2 jigsaws sets. U can't place one piece in the other set as they won't fit

But placing them side by side u can me made aware of their differences

but whether or not there is a difference in interpretation as a result of the condition

ppl will always choose to differ from others

that is the essence of humans - the diversity.

can u imagine life where everything was understood

what would be the point. u would be like a robot

aimless existence....

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

To be honest Grim your thread about face sitting today was probably the most enjoyable I have witnessed on this site for ages, it made a great change from the whinging threads we see so often on here.

So thank you for that.....it really cheered me up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest Grim your thread about face sitting today was probably the most enjoyable I have witnessed on this site for ages, it made a great change from the whinging threads we see so often on here.

So thank you for that.....it really cheered me up."

it cheered me up having woman talk about sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unless you know the person has an aspergers condition you wouldn't be in a position to judge whether their behaviour/attitude was down to a medical condition.

We managed to clear it up before they got him in the back of the van.....but she couldn't have known his condition."

Above is more akin to tourettes. An example of Asbergers is when you tell someone to put their hand in the fire to see how it feels - and they actually do it. Asbergers sufferers tend to take things literally. If it was raining quite heavily outside and you said, 'omg, its raining cats and dogs', they may say, 'no its not, dont be stupid', and mean it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

However tourettes and asbergers syndrom tend to be related or conected and can work parallel with one-another.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Unless you know the person has an aspergers condition you wouldn't be in a position to judge whether their behaviour/attitude was down to a medical condition.

We managed to clear it up before they got him in the back of the van.....but she couldn't have known his condition.

No it's not tourettes that our friend 'R' suffers from....it's Aspergers. He was diagnosed first as Autistic as a child, but later behaviour disorders led doctors to cite Aspergers as the cause for his problems.

You wouldn't know he has it until he 'peaks', when he does you think at first he's maybe a little bit quirky.

He won't ever....and I mean EVER be defeated in a discussion or argument. He has an extreme inability to refuse he is wrong. He is highly intelligent, which means that he has an awful lot of information stored away in his brain, maybe too much.

But he doesn't spurt out individual words or insults as in Tourettes....he just tells it like it is....however embarrassing that may be.

We were in Marks and Spencers in Plymouth once and I wanted to try on a knitted top.....when I asked him what he thought he just blurted out "You have great tits Jane", and quite loudly too.

But being A/S he never left it there, he kept telling me all afternoon how great my boobs were, when we were in the coffee shop...when we were in WH Smiths....in fact in every bloody shop and out loud.

He forgets that he has just told me that twenty times in the last three hours....classic A/S.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unless you know the person has an aspergers condition you wouldn't be in a position to judge whether their behaviour/attitude was down to a medical condition.

We managed to clear it up before they got him in the back of the van.....but she couldn't have known his condition.

Aspergers like other conditions i guess have varying degrees of interpretational ability. It doesn't help or it may help by the folks they surround themselves with. but in the end

basically everyone in the world is fucked.

everyone has to make adjustments

if u want to encroach it's destructive powers in society in respect to harmony

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

You wouldn't know he has it until he 'peaks', when he does you think at first he's maybe a little bit quirky.

But he doesn't spurt out individual words or insults as in Tourettes....he just tells it like it is....however embarrassing that may be.

We were in Marks and Spencers in Plymouth once and I wanted to try on a knitted top.....when I asked him what he thought he just blurted out "You have great tits Jane", and quite loudly too.

He forgets that he has just told me that twenty times in the last three hours....classic A/S."

Why would anyone with a huge amount of information stored away in their brain admit to being wrong? Especially as they are probably right and know it.

As for the forgetting they have said something... it's more common to find they can recall conversations in great detail. The repatition is often a result of feeling they hadn't made the point clear enough the first time... or just to take the piss.

For every 'expert' who claims people with AS have no sense of humour, you will find another who has anecdotal evidence to condradict this... it just tends to be humour on a different level.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

It's strange i still don't see my posts as being 'different' to others just the content questionable

..."

And there you have it. You know the content is questionable.

I didn't include the bit about it being a problem in the quote as I don't think it is a problem... unless you think it is a problem that you knowingly post questionable content.

As for 'different'.... I would hope everyone, who is being open and not putting on a front, is posting something which is in some way 'different'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's strange i still don't see my posts as being 'different' to others just the content questionable

...

And there you have it. You know the content is questionable.

I didn't include the bit about it being a problem in the quote as I don't think it is a problem... unless you think it is a problem that you knowingly post questionable content.

As for 'different'.... I would hope everyone, who is being open and not putting on a front, is posting something which is in some way 'different'."

the reason i said questionable was to do more with how i word it. after ppl telling u that the grammar is bad u do get paranoid about your abilities..

this is a sex site and my feeling is that anything goes about what to talk about on the forums. it may not be to everybodies taste - but that individual doesn't have to respond to it. they can choose to ignore it. But some don't and this is where the argument stem from...

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