FabSwingers.com forum: Worst thing during sex ??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Okay... Here's one for fun

What's the worst / most embarrassing thing you've done during sex ?

For me it was the time when me and my then fb were having sex, he was on top. He told me to bend over for him and in the process of moving from on my back to doggy style i full on kicked him in the head !!

He never said a word !! Which was worse I think ! lol..

What's yours ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the classic missionary position

Asked mrsdpt if her mascara was running

Turns out it was a nose bleed that id dripped onto her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her husband coming home. Has to be a contender, at least.

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

This one is second hand but nevertheless it made me chuckle , a friend of mine was having a good fumble with a lady friend and then suddenly the chimney stack collapsed through the roof , thankfully no one was harmed

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Worst? Ohh, I'll ahve to think about that but in the meantime this pooped in to my hea.

Meet a young chap, go to his, as we enter the flat he says 'I live with my mum, I hope that's ok?'

No probs, says I, you gotta live with her.

I wave to mum before we go the the bedroom. W're making so much noise that we put he mattress on the floor.

Anyway, I've got him pinned on his back with my dick firmly inside him when the front door bell goes.

It's some electric/gas/utilities man.

Next thing, his mum is calling through the door, asking this lad for an access code and he's trying to remember as I'm stiffening inside him and trying not to laugh my head off.

He hisses "shut up!" at me.

I'm like, can't you see how ridiculous this is?

Anyway. Good fuck, ran for the train, bathed in sweat... get this txt saying his mum had complained about 'all the banging' lol.

I told him to say it was the boiler in to sort out his pipework. teehee

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By *oddamnCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

Pulled out during missionary and managed to shoot between our bodies and straight up her nose

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Actually now I think of it, passed out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forgetting her name was quite embarrassing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said the wrong name when having sex with who became my husband.

No wonder we divorced

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Forgetting her name was quite embarrassing

I do that all the time - I have this awful tendency to call people 'dude' instead

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This one is second hand but nevertheless it made me chuckle , a friend of mine was having a good fumble with a lady friend and then suddenly the chimney stack collapsed through the roof , thankfully no one was harmed"

Oh dear !!

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I managed to punch myself in the face with one of my own boobs once which stopped play for a few minutes as we were too busy laughing.....I was shuffling up the bed a little and it just swung round and got me

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

a few weeks ago I was happily riding a fella and next thing I woke up on the floor wondering where the hell I was, with him looming over me with a worried look on his face, stating I had passed out when I orgasmed!

Luckily he was an ex medic

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By *hattyman80Man
over a year ago

stockport

I once passed out. I was on holiday in cancun and was getting possibly the best blowjob I've ever hear. She teased and sucked me for an hour at lease. Edging me beyond belief then when I finally came it was too much and I added out lol. I still blame the heat of Mexico lol

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By *hattyman80Man
over a year ago

stockport

"a few weeks ago I was happily riding a fella and next thing I woke up on the floor wondering where the hell I was, with him looming over me with a worried look on his face, stating I had passed out when I orgasmed!

Luckily he was an ex medic

What are the chances we post post passing out within a minute or two lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wearing a pair of stiletto boots I moved position and gouged a man across the chest. I was glad I didn't take his eye out. On a few occasions my hold ups have slid down my ankles Nora Batty style,that's more embarrassing than it sounds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Worst? Ohh, I'll ahve to think about that but in the meantime this pooped in to my hea.

Meet a young chap, go to his, as we enter the flat he says 'I live with my mum, I hope that's ok?'

No probs, says I, you gotta live with her.

I wave to mum before we go the the bedroom. W're making so much noise that we put he mattress on the floor.

Anyway, I've got him pinned on his back with my dick firmly inside him when the front door bell goes.

It's some electric/gas/utilities man.

Next thing, his mum is calling through the door, asking this lad for an access code and he's trying to remember as I'm stiffening inside him and trying not to laugh my head off.

He hisses "shut up!" at me.

I'm like, can't you see how ridiculous this is?

Anyway. Good fuck, ran for the train, bathed in sweat... get this txt saying his mum had complained about 'all the banging' lol.

I told him to say it was the boiler in to sort out his pipework. teehee"

That's brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eh... My ex passed out while I was fingering her once. Too much booze...

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Has to be my favourite story of when I got a bit d*unk and thought pork scratchings were the way to go food wise....the guy I was with got a little excited during a blow job and pushed my head down on his cock.....I threw up all down myself

Quick shower for me and he stayed where he was (none went on him) and we got back down to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very embarrassed to say I have "soiled" the sheets during a rather vigorous but amazing session.

We weren't even having anal at the time.

Thankfully the guy was a perfect gentleman, although I was mortified!!!

Had a shower, changed the sheets and resumed play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was a bit d*unk and a guy went down on me.. Rather bit boring but it was relaxing, few minutes later & im fast asleep, he woke me up so i just gave him a kiss pulled the quilt over me & went back to sleep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wearing a pair of stiletto boots I moved position and gouged a man across the chest. I was glad I didn't take his eye out. On a few occasions my hold ups have slid down my ankles Nora Batty style,that's more embarrassing than it sounds. "

Mine always do that, I end up having to just take them off altogether sometimes.

I've definitely head butted/nutted a few

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By *hattyman80Man
over a year ago

stockport

Mine always do that, I end up having to just take them off altogether sometimes.

I've definitely head butted/nutted a few

Tbh I think those things would be worth it to be in that position with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Worst? Ohh, I'll ahve to think about that but in the meantime this pooped in to my hea.

Meet a young chap, go to his, as we enter the flat he says 'I live with my mum, I hope that's ok?'

No probs, says I, you gotta live with her.

I wave to mum before we go the the bedroom. W're making so much noise that we put he mattress on the floor.

Anyway, I've got him pinned on his back with my dick firmly inside him when the front door bell goes.

It's some electric/gas/utilities man.

Next thing, his mum is calling through the door, asking this lad for an access code and he's trying to remember as I'm stiffening inside him and trying not to laugh my head off.

He hisses "shut up!" at me.

I'm like, can't you see how ridiculous this is?

Anyway. Good fuck, ran for the train, bathed in sweat... get this txt saying his mum had complained about 'all the banging' lol.

I told him to say it was the boiler in to sort out his pipework. teehee"

Pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was fucking a 20 year old at her flat who I met working as a bouncer, I'm right up her pounding her twat when she goes..and I'm not kidding... I'm gonna be sick ! Lol.. Ruined the moment her going the lav to hurl and then thinking I'm the sort of guy that would vet back to it.. Like a Sun reporter I made my excuses and left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was forever getting my ex with my limbs, it was very par for the course to accidentally twat him in the face. Someone once shoved a lipstick up my bum (i know, no flared base v stupid) and I had to squeeze it out. It was brand new MAC! Or the time I was at an orgy and having a girl on girl exhibitionist moment and some prick wouldnt hush so In between my moaning and enjoying I Told him to shut up or fuck off! There must be more somewhere in my memory...

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By *yan19Man
over a year ago

NLC

There has been few really bad things that have happened but the funniest was when we where moving positioning and she accidentally kicked me in the dick I just let it a awww thank god I'm wearing protection not thinking what I just said it made us in laughter for about 10 minutes before going back to it

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By *ynchedWoman
over a year ago

Dunstable

....got cramp once, was writhing around the bed moaning, sure my partner thought he was amazing... haha!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Or possibly the time I was shagging a girl on my bedroom floor when my mum *and one of her friends* came upstairs and into the room to have a look at the rug we were doing the dirty on.

Everyone was mortified - except for my mum who twittered around as of nothing had happened...

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i was in the middle of a 69 and got caught by a stray kinky boot on the top of my head...

result being lots of blood and several stitches in the top of my head in A&E...

can i have my swinging medal for bravery now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the classic missionary position

Asked mrsdpt if her mascara was running

Turns out it was a nose bleed that id dripped onto her

Had similar during a spot of oral and we both thought for a minute she'd started a period

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Arranged a camping trip with a guy I had met a lot socially on a different site. First night in the tent and in the middle of what was quite a good session and the geezer tells me he 'receives messages from God!'

Perturbed, I stopped and sought clarification and I hadn't misheard. He believed that God was indeed sending him messages and quite specific ones which involved meeting women on the Internet and exercising their demons. He usually did this via MSN but I was a special case!

Wasn't funny at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right this pisses me right off !!

Babes with dogs that wanna join in,I'm not conditioned for a 4 legged mutt watching me back scuttle his owner.

I once had 3 shitzus jump in while I was on the job and a 4th scratching putting me off.

Sort it out girls lol

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By *ates1eMan
over a year ago

clapham

Met a guy in a club, went to a hotel, went down on her, to find out that it was her time of month and she didn't know

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

The only thing I've ever done is accidentally knee C in the balls whilst changing position

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By *ates1eMan
over a year ago

clapham

"The only thing I've ever done is accidentally knee C in the balls whilst changing position

I'm sure you kissed them better for him

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Of course

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

"Right this pisses me right off !!

Babes with dogs that wanna join in,I'm not conditioned for a 4 legged mutt watching me back scuttle his owner.

I once had 3 shitzus jump in while I was on the job and a 4th scratching putting me off.

Sort it out girls lol

What a lovely way with words you have.

I'd have to say any pets should be barred from the room during activities. My guinea pig wouldn't be interested I dare say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most embarrassing thing I encountered was when I was younger, with a girl at her parents house, after having sex I went to the toilet only to be confronted by her 16 yo sister and told that If I was going to fuck her sister so hard then pull the bed away from the wall next time! One of the few moments in my life I was speechless

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

When we first met we used to book into the regular hotels that we tend to use

one session, two weeks into our relationship, both banging away we end up on the edge of the bed by the built in side table, so i try to push back on the table slip but manage to put my hand of Bones throat, i apologies, buit then she surprises me by saying 'dont worry, carry on'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right this pisses me right off !!

Babes with dogs that wanna join in,I'm not conditioned for a 4 legged mutt watching me back scuttle his owner.

I once had 3 shitzus jump in while I was on the job and a 4th scratching putting me off.

Sort it out girls lol

What a lovely way with words you have.

I'd have to say any pets should be barred from the room during activities. My guinea pig wouldn't be interested I dare say. "

Rest assured my good lady so long as ya furry critter keeps off the bed when we are bumpin & grinding I shall refrain from moanin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Breakfast table in the morning and her father passes over a screwdriver and asks if I could tighten up the screws on his daughters bed!

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By *rab74Man
over a year ago

Huntingdon

"Breakfast table in the morning and her father passes over a screwdriver and asks if I could tighten up the screws on his daughters bed!"

You win the internet for me this morning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many years ago I was parked up a dark mountain track in Wales enjoying sex with my girlfriend. Suddenly the car shook violently. I got dressed and gingerly got out to look.

A horse had slipped passing the car and was lying upside down between the car and the steep bank. I backed away carefully thus freeing the horse. We were very glad to see it get to its feet and walk off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many years ago as a student whilst on job I was going well on the floor of a girls room whilst pissed. Got whiff of her B.O. And felt very bilious, puked in her bin and fell asleep

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

Going through these, and ticking them off my list of 'been there'. I'm surprised I can have sex considering the amount of embarrassment I've had over the years. Lame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've accidentally sliced a couple of bell ends with my nail a few times during sex!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not too bad but caused the passion to go through laughter. I'm on top missionary position when I felt strange sensation of air bubbles, coming round my balls. She didn't realise she was going to fart

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By *anejohnkent6263Couple
over a year ago

canterbury

a friend told me about when in a club fucking, a woman was enjoying herself and in the moment a brown log got out arghaaaaaa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was giving an enthusiastic blowjob and my gag reflex was out of practice... I had to pop into their en-suite and throw up. Not sexy at all! The guy was a gent about it though, probably because I let him fuck my arse.

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

I called him my exs name.

I knew he had heard but we just got on with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've looked up to see a cat watching us from the end of the bed. That was very freaky. Also had a Rottweiler banging at the bedroom door, barking and growling to be let in. That was scary.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

I've been messing about refusing to take my knickers off and while he was wrestling me, he full on headbutted the staircase bannister that we were holding on to. Surprised he stayed conscious. And hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had to hide naked in a wardrobe once when hubby came home early. She got rid of him, turns out he'd just forgotten something, but it was enough to ruin the moment.

Another time was when I managed to get with a girl that I had been chasing for ages. Unfortunately, I was d*unk & got the spins every time I lay down.

I had to leave as I was going to puke & I did once I was around the corner from her house.

I never saw her again, must have missed my chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fell asleep while recieving a BJ allegedly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just remembered this. When I was a teenager and first started going out with my husband we were having a little mess around in a small van in his front garden. We heard noises and realised that his dad,brothers and a family friend had come out to look at a car they were selling. We froze and I peeked out of the window that was by our feet to see our friends strategically placed in front of the windows so no one could see in. In my head I was saying please go away,please go away. They were a foot from the van.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saying to my second ex that she is much better than my first ex. (Facepalm) Boy that was a stupid thing to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman once said to me fuck me like you hate me so I spat in her face..... I'd didn't end well

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've loads but this one springs to mind.

Was shagging in the middle of the bed next thing I'm laying on the floor with him stood over me asking if I was OK?

I'd slipped out the bed, knocked the television off, it landed on my head and knocked me out.

I dislocated someone's wrist, broke three ribs and two floaters (his not mine)

Pierced someone to the bed with a stiletto through the arm and a million and one other things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her husband coming home. Has to be a contender, at least. "

Yep been there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her hubby foned her, so we had a brake then continued after the phobe call, he had no idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was with a bird of the larger size and she farted in bed and i ended up on next doors rooftop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was with a bird of the larger size and she farted in bed and i ended up on next doors rooftop

A ostrich

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god eh ere do I begin I was getting into position sneezed and kneed the lass right in the vagina

Was being ridden by an ex after a long day at work in my mates house and next thing I know my mate woke me telling me said girlfriend had stormed out the house in a huff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A woman once said to me fuck me like you hate me so I spat in her face..... I'd didn't end well

Hahaha

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

and the high heels in the chest from Bones on a few ocasions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arranged a camping trip with a guy I had met a lot socially on a different site. First night in the tent and in the middle of what was quite a good session and the geezer tells me he 'receives messages from God!'

Wasn't funny at the time. "

Thanks, I now have a coffee covered laptop!

I was giving oral to a girl once, she was enjoying it. When she reached orgasm she darted, sadly that kind of killed the mood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay... Here's one for fun

What's the worst / most embarrassing thing you've done during sex ?

He never said a word !! Which was worse I think ! lol..

What's yours ? "

Farting during. It's a little off putting. Carried right on, but I can't remember what she said to me afterwards about it

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

[Removed by poster at 23/08/15 09:29:16]

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By *um4usbothCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Was having a great fuck with my man, he was pounding my ass I told him to cum in my ass. He thought he was but it felt a bit strange, he was only peeing in my ass

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Was having a great fuck with my man, he was pounding my ass I told him to cum in my ass. He thought he was but it felt a bit strange, he was only peeing in my ass"

Just EWWW!

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Ending up in A&E

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was once giving a guy a bj/wank. As he was about to cum I moved back abit (as he wanted to cum on my tits) instead of cumming he pee'd. Thankfully only a tiny bit. He was so embarresed and apologetic though, I just laughed or I'd of flipped out lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just remembered another one, fingering my ex while she was on and the blood was so thick and dark, I thought it was diarrhea and stupidly commented on it. I'm surprised she didn't actually kill me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't believe I'm going to say this.

When I was a young frisky chap, having sex with my girlfriend on her bed, I felt the old exodus about to happen way too early, so I pulled out, kissed down her body and licked her whilst I shot it under her bed,

, nothing was ever mentioned, but I was waiting for a bollocking for weeks afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe I'm going to say this.

, nothing was ever mentioned, but I was waiting for a bollocking for weeks afterwards.

So the cat really did get the cream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe I'm going to say this.

, nothing was ever mentioned, but I was waiting for a bollocking for weeks afterwards.

So the cat really did get the cream"

She had a dog that used to sneak in sometimes, thanks doggy, I got away with that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a few weeks ago me and my male fb were at a club we decided to play with another male/female couple after me giving the guy a bj he cum in my mouth i puked!!

ive only ever let my fb cum in my mouth and i fkin love it can have it all day everyday! so why did i think all cum tastes the same

... this other guys was horrid eeeewwwww!!

he didnt seem to mind thoe just said sorry if he knew i didnt like cum he wouldnt of done it... my reply was i fkin love my fb's which then made the situation worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a few weeks ago me and my male fb were at a club we decided to play with another male/female couple after me giving the guy a bj he cum in my mouth i puked!!

ive only ever let my fb cum in my mouth and i fkin love it can have it all day everyday! so why did i think all cum tastes the same

... this other guys was horrid eeeewwwww!!

he didnt seem to mind thoe just said sorry if he knew i didnt like cum he wouldnt of done it... my reply was i fkin love my fb's which then made the situation worse

Drinkers, smokers, people who eat lots of dairy, onions and garlic according to several surveys have very bitter tasting semen. People who eat plenty of fruits, oats and neither drink nor smoke, have very sweet tasting semen apparently. My ex can attest to the alcohol effects, because there was an occasion I drank a fair amount, and she gave me a bj, she said it was the worst thing she'd ever tasted, yet usually, she complimented me on how nice it tasted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a few weeks ago me and my male fb were at a club we decided to play with another male/female couple after me giving the guy a bj he cum in my mouth i puked!!

ive only ever let my fb cum in my mouth and i fkin love it can have it all day everyday! so why did i think all cum tastes the same

... this other guys was horrid eeeewwwww!!

he didnt seem to mind thoe just said sorry if he knew i didnt like cum he wouldnt of done it... my reply was i fkin love my fb's which then made the situation worse

Coffee as well gives bitterness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a few weeks ago me and my male fb were at a club we decided to play with another male/female couple after me giving the guy a bj he cum in my mouth i puked!!

ive only ever let my fb cum in my mouth and i fkin love it can have it all day everyday! so why did i think all cum tastes the same

... this other guys was horrid eeeewwwww!!

he didnt seem to mind thoe just said sorry if he knew i didnt like cum he wouldnt of done it... my reply was i fkin love my fb's which then made the situation worse

the other guy was drinking lager at the time lol my fb doesnt drink that lol

thanks for that

im still very new wen it comes to men... that probs wont make sence to you lol xx

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