FabSwingers.com forum: Meeting singles and finding out married?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So if you meet a single then found out chating before you played thay was married would this put you off and If in there profile thay said single? Would you think its up to them its there life? Its only a shag who cares? No i cant there poor husdand or wife? or Just see them as a normal swinger? or how would you feel?

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By *ertnbeckyCouple
over a year ago

oldham

would just think they were cheating sod so would block after a nice pm to them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"would just think they were cheating sod so would block after a nice pm to them

"
yes but what about if you was face to face with them then found out ??

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By *ertnbeckyCouple
over a year ago

oldham

"would just think they were cheating sod so would block after a nice pm to them

yes but what about if you was face to face with them then found out ??"
they would get a piece of my mind then told to fook off becky would also be very angry as we dont like dishonest people

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

I always ask if they are married or seeing someone before I decide to meet them. That way its my decision whether I meet or not as often find they have extremely limited time or get a call half way and half to leave.

But other than that I do meet them occasionally and look on it as I am single, here for fun and it is them who have all to lose if the wife/girlfriend finds out.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I tend to avoid them.... mainly because they are mostly looking for daytime or want to 'nip-in' for an hour or so.

I also think playing at clubs and some other situations is different to arranging 1-2-1 meets online. At clubs and the like... how do you tell?

I wouldn't like to guess just how many married folk have single profiles, but each time a bit of questioning chat reveals yet another one, I have noticed some trends in their verifications...... the same people pop up (regionally).

I have wondered more than once why there have been so many threads about married men cheating.... yet so few about the people who meet and verify them..... who seem more than happy to either not know or not care about their playmates real status.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yes polo you made some good points in that post. How on earth at a club would you ever know if married or not .. Some here do look down on people for meeting married but its hard to tell at times. If fems married playing away lots here dont care i am sure as men out number them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Way i see it if a woman is in a relationship that is sexless and emotionless and she looks outside her marriage hardly anyone sees it as a bad thing as they think it must be her hubbys fault for treating her like that. But if the same was applied to a bloke a lot of people see him as cheating and not working at his marriage and just out for sex. My situation is like the former.

We all need to feel wanted. Yes it is cheating but a lot of people need to understand the situation a person is in.

My profile sets out what it is im looking for and that im married. Met a lot of good people on here who accept me for me and my situation. Im not just looking for sex either. I miss the social side.

Some people are quick to judge and i understand that and its their _iew.

But to look at it from another angle arent we all technically cheating if we are in relationships and meeting other couples?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

But to look at it from another angle arent we all technically cheating if we are in relationships and meeting other couples? "

Ermmmmmmmmmmm...... No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating is cheating whether your male or female. But then that is just my opinion having been on the other end of a cheating ex husband. Who apparently hadn't had sex in 7 year when I found out (according to what he told the other woman) Our twins were 5 at the time and had a healthy sex life.

I choose not to be part of someones cheating. If they have their partners consent then that is another matter entirely.

If I met someone who had said they were single and I found out face to face that they were married I would have to say see you later. I dislike dishonesty.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

We are all sinners in the eyes of our Lord...

Repent!.....Repent!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol you thinking the same thing then?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

lol you thinking the same thing then?

hell yeah, my face look like this....

cept I have more hair

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

lol you thinking the same thing then?

hell yeah, my face look like this....

cept I have more hair"

Shut up you pair of cheats!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

lol you thinking the same thing then?

hell yeah, my face look like this....

cept I have more hair

Shut up you pair of cheats!

suitably chastised..........now off to find a gorgeous man to shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does it really matter? Swinging is about having fun. Why all this continuing hang up about "is he/she married, .. in a relationship, .. committed ... ad nauseam". I meet girls who I am attracted to, and who are attracted to me, and if we "click", we take it all the way, and have invariably terrific sex together. Its mutual consent, mutual concensus, and fun. No guilt or suspicion or any other inadequate guilt trips. Be independent, and enjoy sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But to look at it from another angle arent we all technically cheating if we are in relationships and meeting other couples?

Ermmmmmmmmmmm...... No."

Why though? Not saying what couples do is wrong? But just cos you consent to having sex with others it doesnt it mean your vows to love and honour forsaking all others have been broken?

Thats just what i think?

Like i said though everyone has needs and should respect others lifestyle. Which i do. Its that person or persons choice to live how they are. And if consequences arise from it then so be it. Nobody forces anyone to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he told me before we met....not a problem.

If he waited until we were face to face...I would simply walk away because he wasnt honest with me from start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But to look at it from another angle arent we all technically cheating if we are in relationships and meeting other couples?

Ermmmmmmmmmmm...... No.

Why though? Not saying what couples do is wrong? But just cos you consent to having sex with others it doesnt it mean your vows to love and honour forsaking all others have been broken?

Thats just what i think?

Ermmmmm if its consensual (have I spelt that right) lol...NOT CHEATING

The OP's question was about men/women on here as "single" so think its a dam good guess to assume the other half knows NOTHING about it....therefore cheating!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Cheating is cheating whether male or female, but then its not me having to go home and look a husband/wife in the eye. I think in a club there isnt really a good way to tell apart from some stick out like a sore thumb, so in a club i would unknowingly go with a married man

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By *ercedes62Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

I had been talking to a guy over the site and mobile for sometime.

0n saturday a social meet was arranged for this week after a few txts. About half an hour later his phone called me - yes you can guess i answered and it had i presume dialled by accident in his pocket.

I heard his voice and a childs - now he told me he was single and unattached.

So sent a txt saying "You just called me who is the child".

You guessed it was his - so my last text said "Think i caught you with your pants down".

I quite clearly state i wont see married guys and i am just glad it happened to ring me by mistake.

Mercedes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I say before, I dont have a problem with married men....

I do however state that "single" men must be able to accommodate...it s out the married ones....

If a guy is honest from the start, can accommodate...(not his own home though, draw line at that)..then no, not a problem

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

We wouldn’t knowingly help anyone to do anything that constituted betraying another person, simple as that. If at any point we came to realise that a so-called single wasn’t then it’s out the door they go. It’s perfectly clear on our profile that for us single MUST be single.

Sorry but in my opinion the phrase ‘its only sex’ is about as lame as it gets, if it is ‘only sex’ is it worth the risk of causing a partner the possible irreparable emotional damage? We think not and so we steer clear of being a party to it.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

does it matter..... absolutly it does!!!

I have not problem with people who are "playing away with permission"... in fact I see a few couples where I met both first and talked about there situation before going further...

I do have problems with those "without permission".... I have been on the wrong end of that in vanilladom, it is not nice, and I vowed that I wouldn't do it to others.. simple as that.....

so in the end it comes down to honesty...

if people are honest in there profiles to begin with, then it at least gives us the information...and choice of making up our minds as whether to take it further or not....

an "informed" decision as such......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally would think they were scum and leave thier company, male or female.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ermmmmm if its consensual (have I spelt that right) lol...NOT CHEATING

The OP's question was about men/women on here as "single" so think its a dam good guess to assume the other half knows NOTHING about it....therefore cheating!

So if i said to my wife tonight that i was on here and she replied ok go for it, that wouldnt be cheating? Even though i would see other women not neccesarily for sex may i add.

I know what the OP means by saying married men(and lets face it women do too. Lets not just assume its always men) passing themselves off as single is wrong. If they go out just looking for sex cos they feel like it that is wrong. If they are not honest to the person they are with that is wrong. But if people are open and honest as to why they feel the need to be with others then why should they have to justify it to others? People dont more my situation and needs more than i know someone who feels the need to have consensual sex with others than in a relationship.

But if its about honesty then right here right now im not ashamed to say why im here. And whether you judge me or not is entirely up to you.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Personally would think they were scum and leave thier company, male or female."

Shame, the discussion was going along nicely until this point......

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

ya reap what ya sow.....

so start with a little honesty on your profiles... then informed choices can be made.

then whatever happens next.. you went in with your eyes wide open.

then no bleating if things go wrong.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

In a club situation its difficult to tell who are married, unless you can see the "band of deceit" on their left ring finger. So I quite probably have played with married men without realizing it.

However, it quite clearly states on my profile that I will only meet married men that have permission to play away, which I verify with a phone call. My methods aren't foolproof, but it helps.

If I found out someone was lying to me, I'd make them very aware, very loudly what I thought of them. Have done before, will do again!!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Personally would think they were scum and leave thier company, male or female.

Shame, the discussion was going along nicely until this point......"

I agree.

It is always a shame that this subject always brings out people who can't just have an opinion but have to call people "scum" etc.........as then it normally goes pear shaped.

If you are going to join in on the thread then please keep it polite at least.....you can have your opinion without the need for provocative posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting questions posed. It is up to the individual if they are going to play behind their partner's back but I do agree that it is only fair to be upfront and honest to others on this site (or other sites for that matter).

I am married and the appropriate box is ticked. I am on here without my wife's permission / knowledge but I am on here mainly for the social side only. If I was offered fun by a lady / couple on here, I am a man and it is unlikely I would turn the offer down (hey my dick CAN rule me!).

I would agree that openness on here is essential if you are involving someone else in your hopes for extra marital fun!

I guess I am still a sinner for even being on here without my wife's knowledge but that is my affair!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had this where I chatted to a guy on here then met for a coffee. While we sat there he said he had a confession to make, that he was married but that they didn't have a sexual relationship. I told him that wasn't my problem to solve. Then after 5 mins, I made my excuses, thanked him for his time and left.

Each to their own. I'm not here to judge. But I choose not to play with married men because it wouldn't suit the way I like to play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was single I can't say I had any moral guidelines when it came to married people having extra-curricular sex. Whatever their situation is, or reasons for playing away, it is preciely that, theirs. If I found someone attractive and desirable then my labido determined what happened next and I left it for them to deal with any fallout from their spouse. The way I saw it was that if it wasn't me they cheated with it would be someone else.

Now I'm married I wouldn't dream of playing away and as Siren doesn't approve of people cheating, we wouldn't play with a married single either... but I have to confess, it still doesn't bother me.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

So if i said to my wife tonight that i was on here and she replied ok go for it, that wouldnt be cheating?

if that was the case then for me that is "with consent"... heck you could take that further like some people I know in profiles and say "they can talk to the other half as well to prove it"

heck ... see.... nothing to hide, open and upfront, informed decision making

if you are married or in a relationship and the other half doesn't know you are here then fine however all I and a lot of people ask is please don't use any "excuses" to justify what you are doing.....

your morals are your own... however as a genuinely single bloke with nothing to hide, if people have issues with marrieds pretending to be single then it does rightly or wrong affect all of us....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess I am still a sinner for even being on here without my wife's knowledge but that is my affair!"

exactly. We dont know your reasons as to why your on here except for your looking for the social side and if a lady offers you wouldnt say no. You didnt say you would force a woman to do anything they didnt want to do either. And seem happy with platonic friendship.

And your prepared to take the consequences and like you said its your own affair.

Honesty is the best policy. And unless you know a persons situation as to why they are here dont feel the need to judge them anymore than you would like to be judged as to your reasons to be on here.

The points that were missed was when i said 'technically cheating' honesty and not knowing someones situation as to why they cheat.

For instance if you were driving down the motorway at a hundred miles an hour for the thrill and were stopped by the police with no explanation except i like doing it , it is wrong. But you were driving at same speed and were pulled over but you told the copper you honestly had to speed because you have a relative that is dying in hospital and you need to get there fast, then you have been open and honest with them. The copper understands but still says its wrong of you to do so. You still get a ticket cos technically what you have done is wrong even if you feel you have good reason. If the copper then escorts you at a hundred mile an hour with his permission for you to do so it can still be technically wrong because your not supposed to drive that fast. But you feel that cos you have pemission and consent from the police it is ok.

Therefore all cheating but for different reasons. And yes the only one that isnt right is the one who wasnt honest in the first place. Everyone else had their reasons and consent. Why should they have to justify?

Now all this has cooked my small grey matter so im off to have meaningless sex with a few dirty slappers! DONT YOU DARE JUDGE ME! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not quite a swinging related thing, but years ago my partner found her husband was cheating by ringing him when he was 'away rock climbing'

A young girl answered the phone and Viv asked to speak to her husband, the girl said no problem and was heard to shout "Daddy, someone on the phone for you" !!!!

If Viv had bollocks, she was certainly kicked in them that day!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is not, and will never be my business what other people do - married or not.

I chose NOT to play with married men and state it on my profile. It's when they contact me with.."I know you don't meet married men but..." that things get ugly...for them!!!

No one has to justify what they're doing to anyone else, but please, leave me alone!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this post sums it all up, all men looking will say just about anything to get a meet/force an issue.

we look at it as searching for the good old sympathy fuck,however if the male/female has their partners consent to play away as the marriage is sexless then thats a different case altogether.

whether a marriage is going wrong or the sex has dried up we dont see it as a valid reason to go behind your partners back to gratify your own needs whilst risking the emotional heartbreak the situation can cause.

were probably opinionated fuckers tho..us northern monkeys!
"We wouldn’t knowingly help anyone to do anything that constituted betraying another person, simple as that. If at any point we came to realise that a so-called single wasn’t then it’s out the door they go. It’s perfectly clear on our profile that for us single MUST be single.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

I took £10,000 from bank, the law found out and I was stood before a Judge, he asked me ‘why’ I had taken the money so I told him…

‘Driven by desire and the fact that there isn’t enough money in my life I just had to have some’

It seems he wasn’t impressed, but what really pisses me off is that I never agreed not to break the law, I mean its not like I’m even married to it, so why should it be assumed that I will abide by it? And it’s not like I lied, when I went into the bank I told them, ‘I’ve not got enough money at home’ And who the hell is this bloke with the silly wig? Who the hell is he to judge me or impose his morals on me?

Anyway, it seems you’re supposed to have PERMISSION to take money from a bank and that makes it alright… what a strange way of doing things!!!

On another planet… I took £10,000 for a bank, the law found out and everyone said, ‘no that’s fine, you carry on mate especially as you have such a good excuse as you’ve not got enough money at home just now.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"On another planet… I took £10,000 for a bank, the law found out and everyone said, ‘no that’s fine, you carry on mate especially as you have such a good excuse as you’ve not got enough money at home just now.

Which planet is this? Just out of interest. I like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you see .. thats why we dont bank with nat west either!!
"I took £10,000 from bank, the law found out and I was stood before a Judge, he asked me ‘why’ I had taken the money so I told him…

‘Driven by desire and the fact that there isn’t enough money in my life I just had to have some’

Anyway, it seems you’re supposed to have PERMISSION to take money from a bank and that makes it alright… what a strange way of doing things!!!

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"So if you meet a single then found out chating before you played thay was married would this put you off and If in there profile thay said single? Would you think its up to them its there life? Its only a shag who cares? No i cant there poor husdand or wife? or Just see them as a normal swinger? or how would you feel?"

Easy for me - I'd just walk away - it is up to them but I don't want to be part of it. They're not 'normal' swingers they're cheats! And swinging isn't cheating and the clue is in the meaning of the word 'cheating'!!! Z

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

"For instance if you were driving down the motorway at a hundred miles an hour for the thrill and were stopped by the police with no explanation except i like doing it , it is wrong. But you were driving at same speed and were pulled over but you told the copper you honestly had to speed because you have a relative that is dying in hospital and you need to get there fast, then you have been open and honest with them. The copper understands but still says its wrong of you to do so. You still get a ticket cos technically what you have done is wrong even if you feel you have good reason. If the copper then escorts you at a hundred mile an hour with his permission for you to do so it can still be technically wrong because your not supposed to drive that fast. But you feel that cos you have pemission and consent from the police it is ok."

Interesting analogy there but what about…

Whilst not intending to hijack this thread it’s a fact that the emergency services, police, fire and ambulance are the greatest killers on the road for any group/type of road user.

Now if mum and dad are sat at home and little Jonny has swallowed a marble it stands to reason that mum, dad and little Jonny want the ambulance there as soon as possible. Mean while the person behind the steering wheel makes the decision to drive at exceptionally high speed and thus puts at risk everyone between the two points, where the ambulance comes from to little Jonny’s house.

Now if you happen to be the parents of little Jonny then chances are you’ll be delighted BUT you’ll not be so happy if the ambulance doesn’t turn up because some distance from your house the ambulance is stuck on a couple of dead bodies under its wheels.

I think this just goes to prove anyone can justify anything if they try hard enough.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

I LOVE it when the married guys put that they're married on their profiles then get applauded for being honest! Crikey, not being too honest to their wives are they? Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's not the issue of them being single or not, it's the lack of honesty.

If they're lying about this then what else are they lying about?

People "play away" for various reasons but I'd appreciate honesty when meeting someone

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I LOVE it when the married guys put that they're married on their profiles then get applauded for being honest! Crikey, not being too honest to their wives are they? Z"

that has always been my biggest bugbear....

but if they do that then at least you then have the choice as whether to be a part of that "deception" or not...

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"I LOVE it when the married guys put that they're married on their profiles then get applauded for being honest! Crikey, not being too honest to their wives are they? Z

that has always been my biggest bugbear....

but if they do that then at least you then have the choice as whether to be a part of that "deception" or not..."

Yes, that's true - it's better that the info on on there! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We will only meet single guys who can accomodate at home, that way we are sure they have no hidden wives or girlfriends who live with them.

Been contacted many times by guys who are upfront about being married, but afraid that is cheating and not swinging in my book, would never go there.

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

"I LOVE it when the married guys put that they're married on their profiles then get applauded for being honest! Crikey, not being too honest to their wives are they? Z"

exactly...it is all "don't judge me because you don't know my reasons for cheating" cheating is cheating whether it is for sex or the social side...if you are doing it behind your partener's or spouse's back, it is cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I LOVE it when the married guys put that they're married on their profiles then get applauded for being honest! Crikey, not being too honest to their wives are they? Z

Its not just guys though. We have seen women's profiles with it on and they also seem to think its ok as long as it says it on their profile.

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

I think my favorite case had to be a guy I had chatted on here with for well over a year...(he is no longer on the site)because of the distance we had yet to meet but we became friends, so I thought. when my mum was over visiting I had said that I could possible meet him half way as I had my mum to look after the kids and he said well, he wwould have to see when he could get away from the missus...I was like WTF? when we first started chatting he said he was single...and according to him then, he had been single but in the process had met someone .got engaged and then married her, all the while still meeting people on here. I gave him a peice of my mind as he knew that I don't meet married or attatched men and stopped contact. The bit I just LOVED was he said it was my fault for not asking! so apparently when someone says they are single, you should ask them again every month or so in case they have gotten married in the meantime...lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

No one has to play with married people and everyone can ignore a profile if they want.

If I was a married playing alone I certainly wouldn't be justifying what I do to strangers on a forum and I don't think anyone should feel they have to.....BUT if you decide to, then people will comment and maybe judge your posts.

To the OP....no, we wouldn't have a meet with someone who admitted they were married at the last minute.

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

"I LOVE it when the married guys put that they're married on their profiles then get applauded for being honest! Crikey, not being too honest to their wives are they? Z

Its not just guys though. We have seen women's profiles with it on and they also seem to think its ok as long as it says it on their profile."

as far as I am concerned it is just as bad for women playing away. I am bi and have declined playing with women too if they are attatched and playing behind someone's back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I LOVE it when the married guys put that they're married on their profiles then get applauded for being honest! Crikey, not being too honest to their wives are they? Z

Its not just guys though. We have seen women's profiles with it on and they also seem to think its ok as long as it says it on their profile.

as far as I am concerned it is just as bad for women playing away. I am bi and have declined playing with women too if they are attatched and playing behind someone's back"

What I don't understand is how they think by putting it on their profile its ok. After all they are hurting someone with their dishonesty. If they are not happy with the relationship they are in then get out! It's that simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting questions posed. It is up to the individual if they are going to play behind their partner's back but I do agree that it is only fair to be upfront and honest to others on this site (or other sites for that matter).

I would agree that openness on here is essential if you are involving someone else in your hopes for extra marital fun!

I guess I am still a sinner for even being on here without my wife's knowledge but that is my affair!"

No, you do whatever you want to do but it is not "your affair" it also concerns those you chat to and those you meet.

State on a public forum your status and it becomes the affair of anyone who wishes to comment because you have given them the right to do so by posting in public.

You can choose to keep it between those you chat to and those you meet and yourself of course but that is what you have done here by chatting to everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ALL MEN SAYING ANYTHING TO MEET AND GET A SYMPATHY FUCK? Really? ALL men?

Ok if people want to judge then judge this. If you believe it or not then i dont give a flying fuck anymore cos i will not be put in my box because others feel their morals should be placed on others and they feel they are right when at no time have i mocked or disrespected their lifestyle. Only trying to put over how others dont understand someones situation as to why they are here while their partner doesnt know. At no time have i not been honest in how i am.

From an early age i was mentally and sometimes physically abused by my real father which lead me to have psychological problems and depression now diagnosed after so long as bipolar type two.

I wanted a normal relationship with a woman but due to my poor judgement and low confidence only ended up with a succesion of women that mistreated or took advantage of me because i was seen as a soft target who couldnt stick up for himself as he was too scared.

My ex who i have a daughter with was and still is an alcohlic who was a bully and completely shattered me and lead me to have a breakdown and admitted to a psychiatric wing for two months. Once well enough i finished with her but went thru a bitter custody battle which i lost because she played the poor mother and deserting father act and she promised to go to AA.

I met my now wife a year later after vowing not to be made to be mistreated again. All was well and blindly i put her temper tantrums to one side thinking it was my fault for causing them. ( i now thru therapy have realised it isnt)

We were together for 4 years and in that time i started to notice a change in her behaviour towards me. I wanted to go to counselling to work at it but she said we didnt have any problems and to leave it be.

I started to realise i was being controlled but felt helpless as my confidence was on a low again. I had another breakdown but this time not admitted. But she promised to change and make a fresh start.

We got married 4 years ago and all was well fir the first few months. Sex was mundane but i put it down again to me not very good at it and she wasnt a fan of it anyway. She then wanted us tohave kids. I was delighted as i thought that by being a family would bring us closer. She became very demanding and occupied with wanting to get pregnant. Sex became mechanical. No intimacy or love towards me. And i just felt i was there to be a sperm donor.

After our son was born i was naturally happy for the first time in years. But my other half was more pre occupied with our son and started to shut me out. I love my son and daughter to bits but i didnt and still dont get any emotion from my wife. I put it down to alsorts. My condition, possible post natal dep. But in the two years that have followed she has drifted from me and it feels like just living with a housemate sometimes. Other times i would be controlled. Not bullied like my ex did but put in my place. I wasnt allowed out with friends. She didnt want to go out with me but was happy to go out with others. Maybe she having an affair who knows? Tried asking to sort it out but she doesnt want to. I even have to ask her for a hug. Kissing doesnt happen at all never mind sex. She told me she didnt want sex with me anymore cos she has a baby now. And only time she wants it is when she is d*unk. Even then its emotionless and over quick to satisfy her.

My confidence again crashed before christmas last year when she even suggested seperate beds for no reason. I again tried to talk to her but was laughed at. She didnt see a problem.

I went thru CBT and made myself a stronger person wanting confidence and wanting a life that i have missed out on for 18 years.

I was told about this site and at first it was social interaction for me. Being online was easier then face to face. I made it clear from the start i was married and just looking for people to talk to. I then started to chat to others that had been thru experiences of their own and realised i wasnt different and i could feel wanted. I saw people were having fun and not just sex. I felt i wanted that too. Again i made it cleat on my profile that i would meet when i was ready and it didnt have to be sex cos i wasnt ready to do that. I went thru a lot of soul searching before i commited to the idea of wanting a meet. But not with strangers but with people who understood my situation and i knew theirs. Not just notches on bed posts as you will see on my profile.

Yes its cheating.yes my wife doesnt know and yes it is seen as being wrong by others So why do i do it? Why dont i leave her and start anew?

Well when you been like i have been for so long its habit. Your controlled. You want to be there for your kids. I could go on. And i know if i was a woman people would sympathise.

But im not asking for sympathy let alone a symoathy shag. Which disgusts me to think people see all blokes are seen like that. You may have had one or two like that but dont group everyone with your lazy opinion.

I am asking to be accepted for who i am. I dont force people to meet me anymore than a couple or a single person would. I know one or two will still tut and play the moral high ground not believe me etc. But to them on behalf of all men and women all i can do is take a quote from your profiles about not playing with married people 'if you dont like it move on.'

But i do respect others opinions and i do believe in honesty up front. And that is my honesty for all to see.

Would anyone else like to show theres?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand how can you you state you was mistreated and say it nearly pushed you to a break down then openly admit your playing without consent. Surely your mistreating your current partner even though you know what its like to be the victim.

Its not people getting on hight horses its people knowing that others can be hurt if things come out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You say we impose our morals on others but its ok for you to impose your lack of honesty with your wife and your lack of morals about marriage on us ?

You dont give a flying fuck - thats your choice, some of us do, that is our choice.

You were abused and that is why you abuse the trust and love of your wife, I personally believe that makes you as bad as your ex wife.

That is my opinion and I am entitled to it, you are entitled to do what you want and to use this site and meet people who are happy to meet cheats, and there are many that will.

But please do not try and tell us we are wrong for having an opinion just because it differs from your own, we listen to your opinion and we give our own, that is what forums are for.

If you don't want to hear other peoples opinions do not discuss your circumstances in the forum.

I am faithfull to my partner, anyone want to give your opinion on that please feel free, good or bad warts and all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The OP's question was....."IF it said on profile SINGLE....."

Gawd almighty......some right fkn touchy fukers on here!!!!!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

phew.....right here is where i stand....

people don't have to justify why they are here... your here, your life....

however I also understand why people don't want to hear "excuses" to justify why people are here either.....

in the grand scheme of things life is not just black and white... it is always differing shades of grey

having been on "the other end" of someones actions.. to have someone do that to me all I can tell you is that the pain I went thru.

The doubting,

The thinking "was I to blame?"

"is there anything I could have done differently?"

the mental anguish I went thru... the dragging myself and building myself back up to the point where I would say "never again!" and where I am a lot stronger now than I am before....

would I wish upon anyone else what I went thru... hell no.....

would I want to be in a position where I was in anyway contributing to put someone in the position I was in... Hell no.....

My conscience is clear for the way I do my swinging... My conscience is clear in the way I pick the people I play with......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The OP's question was....."IF it said on profile SINGLE....."

Gawd almighty......some right fkn touchy fukers on here!!!!!!"

The original quistion is of multiple parts if we are picking people up on things. It included the following.

Would you think its up to them its there life?

Its only a shag who cares?

No i cant there poor husdand or wife?

Just see them as a normal swinger?

how would you feel?

Its not being touchy its an open forum where people will express opinions both for and against things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do respect others opinions. And they are entitled. So why am i not seen as being entitled to one. All i have picked up on is cheating is cheating no matter what. You were abused so why abuse others?

So answer me this? Why are you here swinging? What is the need for you to want sex with others? Is it to explore your sex lives and be liberated? Is it just sex?

Im on here for my reasons too. Same as you. At least i have admitted it. Not judged others. i.e. People who cheat behind a partners back are wrong. But to say they are scum? Thats not an opinion that is judgement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's interesting that in swinging clubs you have, at most, an evening to judge whether you fancy someone enough to have sex with them or not. By fancy I mean not just physically, but also how they carry themselves, do they appear to be a 'nice' person. Are they honest perhaps.

Whatever your selection criteria is you can only employ it on what is standing before you and hope you make the right judgement call, and we've all been taken in by a liar or a con artist at some point in our lives.

And then something like the following happens: when confronted with someone who is drop dead gorgeous and clearly available, that selection criteria flies straight out the proverbial window and something akin to animal lust takes over. You just *have* to have that person come what may. You flirt outragiously, send out all the 'come and fuck me' signals or just blatantly and shamelessly ask them outright to fuck you. I've seen it, and experienced it, and it's horny as hell to be pursued by someone who fancies the pants off you, and equally exciting to have someone you fancy reciprocate and then you get down to some messy fun stuff.

It's all too easy to be judgemental when you've got enough time and information to make a well informed decision about someone but when you're relying on a few minutes of speaking to someone in person and are then faced with them walking away forever before you have had the chance to play with them, you have to go with your gut instinct.

Often that's all you've got.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So answer me this? Why are you here swinging? What is the need for you to want sex with others? Is it to explore your sex lives and be liberated? Is it just sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You just said that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think alot here have been hurt from people close to them doing it and thats why some have very strong _iews on this. Thay know how it made them feel how hurt. Its not a easy thing to chat about for some i know. Others here think why not i am staying here maybe living a lie or hold my family together for the kids but what the hell its my life and i just have one i need to feel somthing.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

@ The OP…

We would not hold it against you for enjoying the social side of the swinging hobby, we really like swingers, they are right up the top of our likeable people list, even more so than what might be called vanilla friends. With most there is an inherent openness and honesty that we don’t seem to find in other communities.

We do not hold it against you for cheating on you wife, regardless of what your justifications might be. We are actually good friends with a married swinger, known him for years but day one he said he’s married and we said ‘no play’. I’ve had some interesting conversations with him on the subject and we actually do sympathise with him BUT we will still not cross that line.

Now opinions were asked for in this thread regarding this subject matter and you have been batting for the ‘play away’ team. Some of us are batting for the other side. ONE person so far has been abusive and they were put in their place by a few who were indeed speaking for all of us, and good on them for doing so.

But there will always be an imbalance because generally speaking the only people who will support the ‘playing away’ game are those who are doing it and those who choose to ignore it to suit their own selfish desires.

Adultery/betrayal happens all the time, its nothing special, there are millions doing it but I dare say there is a large proportion that occur by accident, circumstances conspire inside and outside of a relationship and the event(s) happen… FFS its human nature.

In the swinging hobby there is one thing to be certain of… the man or woman seeking sex with others without the knowledge or consent of the partner are acting ‘premeditated’, there is a conscious active plan to have sex with others, there is ‘intent’ to betray their partner, and that for sake of a shag many people think to be unreasonable. However, this is all brought about by imprinting the current society/social structure we live in, which in fact isn’t natural for the animal known as humans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You just said that.

"
Bloody iphone crashed lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Plus those people who don't play with marrieds but choose to ignore what others do as it is their business and not ours

Well written posts by you as usual BTW x

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

SORRY - CORRECTION to my last post - NOT @ OP - @ backagain sorry

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"Does it really matter? Swinging is about having fun. Why all this continuing hang up about "is he/she married, .. in a relationship, .. committed ... ad nauseam". I meet girls who I am attracted to, and who are attracted to me, and if we "click", we take it all the way, and have invariably terrific sex together. Its mutual consent, mutual concensus, and fun. No guilt or suspicion or any other inadequate guilt trips. Be independent, and enjoy sex

Yes, to a lot of people it does matter - we're not 'hung up' about it - we ask - it's quite easy really!!! For us to indulge without guilt or suspicion - we'd obviously have to be with someone who isn't cheating otherwise you've got guilt and suspicion! We don't have inadequate guilt trips because we don't meet people who are cheating! We are indepedent and enjoy sex - we can be because we're guilt free!!!! Which side are you on by the way as you seem to have made the case for the 'not meeting cheats' rather than the other party with that post!!!

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Thanks Rugby…

As a BTW… I’m at my desk at work and so I’m logged onto FAB and following this thread, so it follows that today I’m on-line during the day. I’m starting to loose count of PM’s dropping into my inbox from ‘single male’ with all the tell-tale signs of married. I guess because I’m online during the day they choose to ignore ‘singles must be singles’ and ‘we can only meet weekends, no weekdays or daytime’. Had as many hits today as we’d typically get in a month of evenings, like maybe when the wife and kids are hanging around the computer?

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"Way i see it if a woman is in a relationship that is sexless and emotionless and she looks outside her marriage hardly anyone sees it as a bad thing as they think it must be her hubbys fault for treating her like that. But if the same was applied to a bloke a lot of people see him as cheating and not working at his marriage and just out for sex. My situation is like the former.

We all need to feel wanted. Yes it is cheating but a lot of people need to understand the situation a person is in.

My profile sets out what it is im looking for and that im married. Met a lot of good people on here who accept me for me and my situation. Im not just looking for sex either. I miss the social side.

Some people are quick to judge and i understand that and its their _iew.

But to look at it from another angle arent we all technically cheating if we are in relationships and meeting other couples? "
wow that is one interesting way of explaining it. Interesting or warped i would call it. If your partner knows you meet people off the site and is happy about it its not cheating. If your partner doesnt know or doesnt approve then its cheating. Simple. Same for men and ladies. Both as bad and wrong in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plus those people who don't play with marrieds but choose to ignore what others do as it is their business and not ours

*Nods in agreement*

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"It's interesting that in swinging clubs you have, at most, an evening to judge whether you fancy someone enough to have sex with them or not. By fancy I mean not just physically, but also how they carry themselves, do they appear to be a 'nice' person. Are they honest perhaps.

Often that's all you've got."

Possible the best post I have seen you make on here Wishy....as you point out there sometimes isn't time to go into the personal lives of potential playmates, it's often 'See...Want...Have' in club and party situations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im just going to accept now that everybody here has their own _iew point on all these issues. We are all different in our tastes and wants and thoughts. My points werent there to rally and rile people even tjough i did get strong minded.And believe it or not i enjoyed this duscussion. Makes a change for me to be serious.

Now if anyone wants me ill be starting a thread on favourite flavoured crisps very soon. But dont piss me off by saying cheese and onion!

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

dont care if married or not to be honest

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"Im just going to accept now that everybody here has their own _iew point on all these issues. We are all different in our tastes and wants and thoughts. My points werent there to rally and rile people even tjough i did get strong minded.And believe it or not i enjoyed this duscussion. Makes a change for me to be serious.

Now if anyone wants me ill be starting a thread on favourite flavoured crisps very soon. But dont piss me off by saying cheese and onion!

No, I don't think that you should accept that other people have their own _iew point! Joking apart - a good debate is healthy and if you haven't got strong enough convictions to fight your own corner hard then thats a shame! You are fully entitled to air your own opinions - as is everyone else! What is good for the goose isn't always good for the gander - we've all got different morals, standards and _iewpoints on life - vive la differance! (Somehting like that!) Z

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

To backagain. You dont have the monopoly on having a hard life, but not everyone cheats because of it. If your marriage is that bad then leave after all you got the guts to come on here to potentially have sex without your wives consent. Mind you if she found out she may leave you anyway

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

just dont meet married guys if you are that bothered...... i dont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Diamondsmiles i never said i had a monopoly on a hard life and never said i wanted sympathy either. I gave my reasons for being here quite clear and gave my reasons for not being able to leave my wife.

As for having the guts to come on here and not having guts to tell my wife i can tell you it was bloody guts that got me here in the first place and then know that others are like me. Im honest about what i do on here and what i want when i know there are others that arent. But i respect them same as i respect other peoples reasons for being here and want they want.

Its easy to say leave her. I get that told all the time. But saying and doing are twodifferent things. And when somebody controls you for so long over your life it really isnt that simple.

Im not saying either of us is right or wrong on this matter. Cos it will just go round in circles.

But from now on as alwaysit will be everybody else to decide how they treat me. Same as i choose to treat others that have preferences i dont choose to partake in. Now would you like a bag of crisp or not?

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Pickled Onion Monster Munch please. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would like to add our opinion but it may get taken our of all portion lol

then again what the hell. Cash wont meet men that play behind partners/wife back. Doesnt want to rock the boat, stand on anyones toes.

if he has consent to meet others without partner / wife we insist on speaking to the female via the phone before meeting. If this doesnt happen then we know she doesnt know he's here

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"would like to add our opinion but it may get taken our of all portion lol

then again what the hell. Cash wont meet men that play behind partners/wife back. Doesnt want to rock the boat, stand on anyones toes.

if he has consent to meet others without partner / wife we insist on speaking to the female via the phone before meeting. If this doesnt happen then we know she doesnt know he's here

That sounds fair enough. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To backagain. You dont have the monopoly on having a hard life, but not everyone cheats because of it. If your marriage is that bad then leave after all you got the guts to come on here to potentially have sex without your wives consent. Mind you if she found out she may leave you anyway"

Just out of interest what would your reaction be if your wife or husband(to the women) were on here advertising for meets behind your back. Not been funny asking but it's surprising how many men in a club turn round and say they would not bring their partners to a place like the club. Just wondered what your reaction would be.

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By *omer47Man
over a year ago

leigh

so when men/women go to clubs,do the couples ask if they are married,single or attached then?...i doubt it very much some how.so why is it such a big deal outside a club.its meant to be fun,not an interigation.thats why its called No Strings Attached fun.....men could say that if a couple where that happily married,why do they want,or need another man/woman or couple to join them.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"men could say that if a couple where that happily married,why do they want,or need another man/woman or couple to join them."

runs for hard hat... it's gonna get heated

nibbles, finger buffet anyone ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so when men/women go to clubs,do the couples ask if they are married,single or attached then?...i doubt it very much some how.so why is it such a big deal outside a club.its meant to be fun,not an interigation.thats why its called No Strings Attached fun.....men could say that if a couple where that happily married,why do they want,or need another man/woman or couple to join them."

So,what are you saying that couples are only on here because they not in strong happy relationships?

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Swinging for most couples is about trust and honesty.

Anyone who has a partner who is playing 'away' has neither of those values.

**And there is never a good excuse for cheating**

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its getting hotter

dives for cover

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

have chicken and mushroom vol au vents and cheese/pineapple/cocktail onions on cocktail sticks...

cinzano bianco on ice...

fire in, it's gonna be rocky xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn’t it a big assumption everyone goes to clubs!!!! After all many don’t and we are not sat in a club here we are on an internet forum where many of us choose to play at party’s or in private where you want to know more about someone’s background. To many it is a big issue in for multiple reasons.

If someone is short on morals with regard to a marriage/relationship then many won’t play with them for many reasons. Part of that will be cheaters may contact your partner behind your back. After all if they have no scruples for their own partner they sure aren’t for someone they have met in a no strings situation.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

[Removed by poster at 12/10/10 18:50:07]

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

You can normally (I say normally as it's a generalisation) pick out who's married at a club.

They are the ones watching the clock and go before 8.30pm cus they have to be home for the hubby/wifey.

Play after 9, with no wedding ring, it's a safe(ish) bet they are single.

There are always exceptions to the rule but you can generally tell by asking a few pertenant questions who is a cheating tosser.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Ahem....

Excuse me.... actually I do ask, and you can ask people who know me....

for me it is part of the process... and after all.. it is just a question, not part of an interogation....

people have asked me in a club and I have answered it truthfully because I have nothing to hide.....

"men could say that if a couple where that happily married,why do they want,or need another man/woman or couple to join them."

ooooh... I really.... really.... really think you don't want to be going down that road..... thats a whole new "can of worms" you are opening up there

mighty big hole you just put yourself in if you are thinking what I think you are thinking......start digging!!!

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Did someone just turn the gas up LOL

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"ALL MEN SAYING ANYTHING TO MEET AND GET A SYMPATHY FUCK? Really? ALL men?

From an early age i was mentally and sometimes physically abused by my real father which lead me to have psychological problems and depression now diagnosed after so long as bipolar type two.

My confidence again crashed before christmas last year when she even suggested seperate beds for no reason. I again tried to talk to her but was laughed at. She didnt see a problem.

I went thru CBT and made myself a stronger person wanting confidence and wanting a life that i have missed out on for 18 years.

Yes its cheating.yes my wife doesnt know and yes it is seen as being wrong by others So why do i do it? Why dont i leave her and start anew?

Well when you been like i have been for so long its habit. Your controlled. You want to be there for your kids. I could go on. And i know if i was a woman people would sympathise.

But i do respect others opinions and i do believe in honesty up front. And that is my honesty for all to see.

Would anyone else like to show theres?"

Yeah here is my honesty.

So what?

You know your situation.

You know a lot about yourself.

You have had therapy to help you change as a person.

Don't blame the past for the choices you make know. The past doesn't make them any less wrong. You know it's wrong and choose to do it... end of.

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By *usterMan
over a year ago

worthing

OP said they found out actually on the date. I would leave - if they lie to me beforehand about that, what else will they be lying about? disease? violent behaviour? drugs?

OK - here's my situation. Wife has major disability and gets pain if she is touched more than very lightly. It started 30 years ago.

We still love each other after 40+years. I am her carer. masturbation is not enough and makes me more frustrated generally.

What choices do I have?

a) tell her I can't take any more chastity so will leave her.

b) tell her I am shagging another woman / other women? that will make her feel even more inadequate

c) have discrete sexual encounters and continue to do everything else for her?

I could tell you all her feelings but wont.

Am I showing double standards?

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Come on Polo, don't mess about, what are you trying to say?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats right. I CHOSE to be like this now. I chose my reasons same as you chose your reasons to be here. Same as everybody else chose their reasons to be here. Right or wrong for everybody.nobody will be happy with everybodys Like ive already said if you dont like what someone does dont bother with them and dont tut in judgement.

Maybe i should take stock of my life. And it has raised serious questions for me to think about in this thread. But i accept me for me same as i accept everybody else for how they run their lives.

Its all opinions on here. Not a witch hunt of morals i accept that. So accept me. You dont have to agree. You dont have to respect me even. Same as i dont have to agree with how i see others but accept them.

If you dont like me for how i am there is a block button and i wouldnt take it personally.

Now i really am going to start a thread about crisp. All are welcome to join in and lets have a laugh knowning the cheating demonised toe rag aka backagain will not be beating down your door in a crazed sex filled frenzy. I really am quite nice to talk to. Let me repeat that...TO TALK TO!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

it is now sounding like the auditions in the Xfactor.......

why are we justifying why we are on here...?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But to me anyone married is out of bounds, i dont care how fanciable they are, i have respect for myself and the marriage vows, besides having been stuck in the middle of my parents divorcing due to my slag of a mothers adultery, it really isnt much fun, not that those cheating care, she certainly didnt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP said they found out actually on the date. I would leave - if they lie to me beforehand about that, what else will they be lying about? disease? violent behaviour? drugs?

OK - here's my situation. Wife has major disability and gets pain if she is touched more than very lightly. It started 30 years ago.

We still love each other after 40+years. I am her carer. masturbation is not enough and makes me more frustrated generally.

What choices do I have?

a) tell her I can't take any more chastity so will leave her.

b) tell her I am shagging another woman / other women? that will make her feel even more inadequate

c) have discrete sexual encounters and continue to do everything else for her?

I could tell you all her feelings but wont.

Am I showing double standards?"

I understand your reason for cheating on your wife and why you wont tell her, what i dont understand is how you can say you are respectful to others on your profile when by your own admission you are cheating on her???

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

"OP said they found out actually on the date. I would leave - if they lie to me beforehand about that, what else will they be lying about? disease? violent behaviour? drugs?

OK - here's my situation. Wife has major disability and gets pain if she is touched more than very lightly. It started 30 years ago.

We still love each other after 40+years. I am her carer. masturbation is not enough and makes me more frustrated generally.

What choices do I have?

a) tell her I can't take any more chastity so will leave her.

b) tell her I am shagging another woman / other women? that will make her feel even more inadequate

c) have discrete sexual encounters and continue to do everything else for her?

I could tell you all her feelings but wont.

Am I showing double standards?"

or...

d) Learn how to masturbate

Maybe the wedding contract needs re_iewing, 'For better, for worse, so long as I can always get a shag'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP said they found out actually on the date. I would leave - if they lie to me beforehand about that, what else will they be lying about? disease? violent behaviour? drugs?

OK - here's my situation. Wife has major disability and gets pain if she is touched more than very lightly. It started 30 years ago.

We still love each other after 40+years. I am her carer. masturbation is not enough and makes me more frustrated generally.

What choices do I have?

a) tell her I can't take any more chastity so will leave her.

b) tell her I am shagging another woman / other women? that will make her feel even more inadequate

c) have discrete sexual encounters and continue to do everything else for her?

I could tell you all her feelings but wont.

Am I showing double standards?

or...

d) Learn how to masturbate

Maybe the wedding contract needs re_iewing, 'For better, for worse, so long as I can always get a shag'"

Possibly remove the line that starts "in sickness......."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

N.S.A

Does not mean anyone can fuck anyone regardless.

It means you can fuck ......and there is nothing to pay emotionally, no attachment is formed, no one owes you anything nor you they ..

N.S.A does NOT mean you can fuck people without telling them that they are betraying your spouse as much as you are.

Some people do put morals before sexual satisfaction.

Sex is fleeting. Most here like to live happily with themselves for years.

I get fed up of people saying ........Aww what you on about ...it's N.S.A here. Soon they'll use the phrase to justify beasiality!

Where is the dog ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"N.S.A does NOT mean you can fuck people without telling them that they are betraying your spouse as much as you are."

I think that's a bit harsh on the person being lied to in addition to the wife/hubby. If someone says they are single and give you some sort of evidence to back that up then it's logical to believe they are what they say they are.

The person unkniwingly playing with a married person is not a part of the deceit if they are being lied to also.

A cheat won't care who he or she is lying to so long as they get what they want.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"N.S.A

Does not mean anyone can fuck anyone regardless.

It means you can fuck ......and there is nothing to pay emotionally, no attachment is formed, no one owes you anything nor you they ..

N.S.A does NOT mean you can fuck people without telling them that they are betraying your spouse as much as you are.

Some people do put morals before sexual satisfaction.

Sex is fleeting. Most here like to live happily with themselves for years.

I get fed up of people saying ........Aww what you on about ...it's N.S.A here. Soon they'll use the phrase to justify beasiality!

Where is the dog ?

I'm with you on that one!!!

I clearly have it stated on my profile, but I still have to justify myself...I have my own code of conduct to live by...

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Thats right. I CHOSE to be like this now. "

See that bit I quoted... that's all you need to say. The rest is just low value bumf and padding.

Why try and justify yourself to us?

Do you really think it makes it alright or will make a difference and people won't think as badly of you? If you do, why don't you print your post and give it to your partner to read... after all she is the one you have to justify your actions to.

I'll be honest (again - see more of my honesty)...

I do believe if I come across a profile and discover they are married, then it's none of my business. It's not my place to be their moral mentor... I say no thanks and move on.

I don't believe individuals should have their home situation brought into threads by other people.... when the subject has nothing to do with whether they are actually single or not. Their life is none of our business and as long as they are upfront and allow others to make informed choices why should I worry about it.

I do think though that this acceptance is what brings so many cheats to swinging sites.... yes you are cheats, it's not a judgement it's a fact.

However........ (did you see a however coming?)..... I do have little tolerance for people (cheats) who then come onto a forum and start trying to justify themselves.

If we asked your partner what would be the top ten worst things you could do (not just you but cheats generally) to break their heart and cause them intense sorrow..... I am pretty sure for many this would be in the number 1 slot.

If your reasons for being here are not good enough for your partner to hear... and certainly not good enough for your partner to say "OK hunni, that's fine then"... why the fudge packet would anyone think they are good enough for anyone else?

If it's worth saying...... say it to the one person who matters to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"N.S.A does NOT mean you can fuck people without telling them that they are betraying your spouse as much as you are.

The person unkniwingly playing with a married person is not a part of the deceit if they are being lied to also.

A cheat won't care who he or she is lying to so long as they get what they want."

Read it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thats right. I CHOSE to be like this now.

See that bit I quoted... that's all you need to say. The rest is just low value bumf and padding.

Why try and justify yourself to us?

I'll be honest (again - see more of my honesty)...

I do believe if I come across a profile and discover they are married, then it's none of my business. It's not my place to be their moral mentor... I say no thanks and move on.

I do think though that this acceptance is what brings so many cheats to swinging sites.... yes you are cheats, it's not a judgement it's a fact.

However........ (did you see a however coming?)..... I do have little tolerance for people (cheats) who then come onto a forum and start trying to justify themselves.

If it's worth saying...... say it to the one person who matters to you."

Their partners DON'T matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To them I mean.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"To them I mean."

Then it should be no problem moving out to singlesville.

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By *eorge17Man
over a year ago

Leven

Someone who is cheating can also be putting their playmate at risk of a beating, or worse, if their spouse/partner finds out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone who is cheating can also be putting their playmate at risk of a beating, or worse, if their spouse/partner finds out."

Here's hopin' they have a bdsm fetish then ........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"have chicken and mushroom vol au vents and cheese/pineapple/cocktail onions on cocktail sticks...

cinzano bianco on ice...

fire in, it's gonna be rocky xx

Think this is going to need something stronger than Cinzano pet: I've got Remy's, Courvosier and Three Barrels!

The "peasants" will be revolting soon!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do my best to ascertain if one is truly single before I would agree to meet him.

However, that is not always possible to do that when I meet peeps at clubs.

Mind you, I do not believe I have knowingly played with anyone who is attached at a club or otherwise.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"have chicken and mushroom vol au vents and cheese/pineapple/cocktail onions on cocktail sticks...

cinzano bianco on ice...

fire in, it's gonna be rocky xx

Think this is going to need something stronger than Cinzano pet: I've got Remy's, Courvosier and Three Barrels!

The "peasants" will be revolting soon!

aye sassy, xx dinna bother with glasses... let me swig it neat from the bottle.. I need the kick xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let them get on with it we say, they always seem to describe themselves as honest and respectful, that says it all really, if they were honest and respectful they wouldn’t be cheating on anyone

Honesty should always start at home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"N.S.A does NOT mean you can fuck people without telling them that they are betraying your spouse as much as you are.

The person unkniwingly playing with a married person is not a part of the deceit if they are being lied to also.

A cheat won't care who he or she is lying to so long as they get what they want.

Read it again. "

oops - totally missed the 'NOT' - and it was in capitals too! Good job I'm off to have a laser eye treatment consultation on Thursday, I think I need it lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"N.S.A does NOT mean you can fuck people without telling them that they are betraying your spouse as much as you are.

The person unkniwingly playing with a married person is not a part of the deceit if they are being lied to also.

A cheat won't care who he or she is lying to so long as they get what they want.

Read it again.

oops - totally missed the 'NOT' - and it was in capitals too! Good job I'm off to have a laser eye treatment consultation on Thursday, I think I need it lol.

Wishy ......does that mean you are Capitalexsic ?

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By *ertnbeckyCouple
over a year ago

oldham

cheating is cheating and cannot be justified......................unless hang on a minute i,ve lost my leg that means i can fuck behind my wifes back. i dont think so so to all cheaters you are dishonest and living a lie so please leave us alone

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Good job I'm off to have a laser eye treatment consultation on Thursday, I think I need it lol.

Lol good luck with that....will say best thing I have ever done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes let me get on with MY life. I havent discriminated about anybody else here.im not scum as people like to describe. I have not told anyone i have chatted to im single or lied to them otherwise. I dont carry dirty diseases cos im a cheat as someone else has mentioned. I have accepted others lifestyles whether they married single or whatever. I have accepted people dont want to chat or meet a married person who has no consent from their partner. And i dont contact them either or coerce them otherwise to. Read my profile and you will see im happy to have a platonic chat IF the person wants to. And sex isnt an issue.

But still i am seen as being wrong to the point where i now think it is becoming victimisation. How dare people think they should judge just because i am trying to have a life. How dare people make insinuations about me and group me into the just a bloke up for a fuck club.

And how dare people mock snear and take a high moral stance when, just because they have consent from their partner, it makes them a better person to have multiple partners gangbangs and the like because at least they are not cheating.

I have given my reasons why am here and made it clear im not here for sympathy sex or anything as such. I have been honest to a fault about myself. YES I KNOW ITS NOT TO MY PARTNER BEFORE ANOTHER PERSON POUNTS IT OUT!! but i am not shifting on my stance. Ive already said feel free to block me. I will not be bullied preached to mocked insulted or anything else.

And dont come back with we are all entitled to our opinion when i have already said yes i have accepted your opinion. But obviously my opinion and my say doesnt count. Im not even going to bother with thus thread anymore. So if you want you can carry on with it and witter to your hearts content about me or any other married person on here and subjicate others to why your moral standards of life style are better.

NOW FOR THE LAST TIME DOES ANYBODY WANT A CRISP????????? !!!!!!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

It can't be victimisation if you stop coming back.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

This is just going around in circles now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About these Crisps...?

Plain or salted ?.

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