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"Ok, this is what you should do...... Look under "UK JIVE" Go find a jive dance class near to you.. Attend! You will find it uplifting, energising, sociable, and damn good fun too! Loneliness is entirely in your own hands.... get out there and dance! " wow that's really positive and fun too. xxx | |||
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"Ok, this is what you should do...... Look under "UK JIVE" Go find a jive dance class near to you.. Attend! You will find it uplifting, energising, sociable, and damn good fun too! Loneliness is entirely in your own hands.... get out there and dance! " This is good advice, I'm not into modern jive but with some guys I know I can get a free hug with every dance! Had my fix last night ! | |||
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"Hi all I feel a complete fool writing this, but just writing this down helps. I'm very lonely today. I'm a sorted, friendly, sociable guy with many friends, but I feel isolated and at a bit of a loss of where to turn right now. It may seem bizarre to turn to Fabs, but I actually find there's a very supportive, kind community of people here. I have my faults, but I'm one of those guys who values good conversation on here and I'm confident that the people I've interacted with on here would back me up on that. I have tried to be supportive to others on here too, contributing positively to threads where others are struggling, particularly with anxiety related issues (I freely admit that's an issue for me). I won't bore you with the reasons here, but there's been a lot if upheaval this year and I've made decisions for postibe reasons that I'm scared will backfire on me. I'm fully aware that people have far more serious stuff to contend with and, in many ways, I'm an extremely lucky person. I'm sorry, this is a huge indulgence on my part. I'm say here in a cafe wishing someone would just give me a hug. I'm a 45 year-old bloke and I'm man enough to admit that. I guess I'm hoping there's someone at a bit of a loose end today or feeling similar. I promise I'm not hoping this will lead anywhere else - it's just about some need for human interaction. I have many friends, but I don't want to bother them right now and sometimes it's easier to talk to people who are more detached from your life. I don't blame any of you for reading this and thinking "what a self-obsessed fool". Honestly, I'm a good, kind guy who is just struggling a bit. Thanks for reading. I know I'll feel an idiot as soon as I post this, but here goes....." Life has a way of kicking you especially when your down just get up and keep smiling and a good sense of humour will help to keep you sane | |||
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"no need to feel daft - have a hug x" winters approaching and the lights reducing. Get a daylight box x bet it lifts this dip x | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 15/10/14 13:00:09]" It's only a public contact detail for a dance class I think - don't panic! | |||
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"I meant *striking not stroking ! You can tell my predictive text has been fabbed ! " | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 15/10/14 13:00:09] It's only a public contact detail for a dance class I think - don't panic!" Full name and number posted on here for all the knobheads to get hold of is not a good idea | |||
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" I have many friends, but I don't want to bother them right now ...." I get what you are saying about it being easier to speak with someone detached from your life, but believe me, I have been through similar a few years ago. When I said to my friends and family that I didn't want to bother or burden them, I got chastised because they all said if they knew how I was feeling they would have jumped to help and support me - so while you think you might be bothering them, you aren't. | |||
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"Many of us have been there, dude. Speaking up is good, so well done. ((((Man Hug))))" same here mate | |||
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"OP are you getting vitamins and looking after yourself.? At times when I have been low its been from not looking after me .. And not getting the sleep I needed . If under stress from life you need to look after number one and that's you. xxx" I eat pretty healthily and my sleep is reasonably ok, thanks. I do wake up in the night when really worried about stuff, but I'm not there at the moment. I do love walking and go as much as possible in the mountains and on the coast- I also don't mind autumn and winter, as it's my favourite time for walking. If I'm honest, a walk last Friday is one of the things I'm struggling with. It's a beautiful spot, but I was having a bit of a panic about the future. I got chatting to a woman with two dogs. I ended up telling her about my situation and she told me about her horrible husband. We walked together for over half an hour until we split to go back to our cars. I felt a deep sense of attraction and connection to her. I've got no problem giving a woman my number etc, but didn't because she was married. It was an intense chance encounter. It didn't help with the loneliness though - I wished I had someone like that. It's a repeating pattern of longing tbh - I also have massively strong feelings for my best friend, and it can never come to anything. I know it's down to me to make changes, tackle my problems and "get out there" etc. 90% of the time I do that - I'm honestly not a reclusive guy, quite the opposite in fact. It's just reared it's head again and I'm tired of it today. | |||
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"OP are you getting vitamins and looking after yourself.? At times when I have been low its been from not looking after me .. And not getting the sleep I needed . If under stress from life you need to look after number one and that's you. xxx I eat pretty healthily and my sleep is reasonably ok, thanks. I do wake up in the night when really worried about stuff, but I'm not there at the moment. I do love walking and go as much as possible in the mountains and on the coast- I also don't mind autumn and winter, as it's my favourite time for walking. If I'm honest, a walk last Friday is one of the things I'm struggling with. It's a beautiful spot, but I was having a bit of a panic about the future. I got chatting to a woman with two dogs. I ended up telling her about my situation and she told me about her horrible husband. We walked together for over half an hour until we split to go back to our cars. I felt a deep sense of attraction and connection to her. I've got no problem giving a woman my number etc, but didn't because she was married. It was an intense chance encounter. It didn't help with the loneliness though - I wished I had someone like that. It's a repeating pattern of longing tbh - I also have massively strong feelings for my best friend, and it can never come to anything. I know it's down to me to make changes, tackle my problems and "get out there" etc. 90% of the time I do that - I'm honestly not a reclusive guy, quite the opposite in fact. It's just reared it's head again and I'm tired of it today. " Well you come across positive and from that things can change . I bet the lady you meet out with the dog was just as happy to chat, Its lovely you could be so open together and I would go back there , Even if married nothing stopping you being friends having a chat . Its good getting out in the fresh air its good for the soul and you. Our minds can play all sorts of tricks on us and its about control and us not being to hard on ourselves .You need to put yourself first and look after you when low. xx | |||
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"Ok, this is what you should do...... Look under "UK JIVE" Go find a jive dance class near to you.. Attend! You will find it uplifting, energising, sociable, and damn good fun too! Loneliness is entirely in your own hands.... get out there and dance! " This, when on the road to dullsville turn off, do something completely different. | |||
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"Bear hug coming at ya bro ("\(.:.:.)/") Plus one time offer! FREE HIGH FIVE!!! " That was some bear hug mate (and the other ones from blokes were massively appreciated too). Ha ha! HIGH FIVE back (plus that little exploding hand gesture my friend's boy does straight after one). | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 15/10/14 13:00:09] It's only a public contact detail for a dance class I think - don't panic! Full name and number posted on here for all the knobheads to get hold of is not a good idea" Well I guess the moderators agreed, but if I google 'Ceroc in Cardiff' and come up with a name and a contact number it's pretty public domain I think. | |||
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"Having read the replies, I appreciate my problems are trivial by comparison." Your problems are not trivial, yes they are different to some other peoples, but they are personal to you and you have to handle them on a moment to moment basis. Get something positive going on doesn't matter if it's life changing so long as it feels good, then start repairing or building new, with something positive to give you the much needed lift when life gets tough. | |||
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"Many of us have been there, dude. Speaking up is good, so well done. ((((Man Hug))))" Man hug here too ( keeping a safe distance between jewels ) | |||
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"Ok, this is what you should do...... Look under "UK JIVE" Go find a jive dance class near to you.. Attend! You will find it uplifting, energising, sociable, and damn good fun too! Loneliness is entirely in your own hands.... get out there and dance! " what fantastic advice, I may try that myself | |||
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"Rogue/Pussy/Frisky - thanks Frisky - I will look into that contact, thanks I don't want to drone on too much, but I'm a hard-working guy and I'm not working right now. I can't believe how worthless I feel. It's crazy, I keep telling myself that I've worked for years and do so again soon enough, but I find it hard to fill the time. I have loads of interests, but it doesn't feel right to be doing them in the day! My job was possibly at risk, but I "jumped" in order to try and change my life and break the mould. It's been tough though." You jumped now that's a brave man so keep your head up and keep going forwards no matter how hard it is at times onwards and upwards | |||
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"Rogue/Pussy/Frisky - thanks Frisky - I will look into that contact, thanks I don't want to drone on too much, but I'm a hard-working guy and I'm not working right now. I can't believe how worthless I feel. It's crazy, I keep telling myself that I've worked for years and do so again soon enough, but I find it hard to fill the time. I have loads of interests, but it doesn't feel right to be doing them in the day! My job was possibly at risk, but I "jumped" in order to try and change my life and break the mould. It's been tough though." It was a risk you took and on this occassion it didnt work out. Life is full of risks and some people are braver than others. You say you feel worthless, maybe with your spare time you have why not do some volunteering work with a charity | |||
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"Game for it - I completely agree that it's all in the mind. I've learned to recognise the signs and challenge the negative thoughts. Most of the time I can do that and, from the outside, I probably come across as a positive person who is very busy and sociable The main reason I've ended up here over the last six months is I took the decision to change direction and avoid the "dullsville" that the last poster mentioned. Having done that I've just landed myself with too much uncertainty. I did it for positive reasons, but now wish I'd stuck with what I'd known and accepted I was, at heart, an anxious person - safe, but at least I had regular income. Throw in massive doses of loneliness and unrequited love and worries about an ageing parent and it becomes debilitating. Having read the replies, I appreciate my problems are trivial by comparison." The past is over and done OP, We cannot change that now yet we can change our thoughts and also we cant keep beating ourselves up over it .. Its the present moment we need to live in and see things for what they are now not what they could be .. We live and learn and I think you have been over the last year and you do learn from all this good and bad things . I see it as lifes tests . | |||
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"Rogue/Pussy/Frisky - thanks Frisky - I will look into that contact, thanks I don't want to drone on too much, but I'm a hard-working guy and I'm not working right now. I can't believe how worthless I feel. It's crazy, I keep telling myself that I've worked for years and do so again soon enough, but I find it hard to fill the time. I have loads of interests, but it doesn't feel right to be doing them in the day! My job was possibly at risk, but I "jumped" in order to try and change my life and break the mould. It's been tough though." Yes, I have been there, am there still in many ways. But a man's identity and self-worth is often far more tied up in his work I think, and even starting a business from home can feel 'wrong'. Maybe you need a transitional occupation of some kind to offer routine. I feel very spare not having done some horses first thing each morning - that was my routine, get out of bed, sort horses, whether two or ten. | |||
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"Rogue/Pussy/Frisky - thanks Frisky - I will look into that contact, thanks I don't want to drone on too much, but I'm a hard-working guy and I'm not working right now. I can't believe how worthless I feel. It's crazy, I keep telling myself that I've worked for years and do so again soon enough, but I find it hard to fill the time. I have loads of interests, but it doesn't feel right to be doing them in the day! My job was possibly at risk, but I "jumped" in order to try and change my life and break the mould. It's been tough though. It was a risk you took and on this occassion it didnt work out. Life is full of risks and some people are braver than others. You say you feel worthless, maybe with your spare time you have why not do some volunteering work with a charity " In fairness - it's not that it hasn't worked out, it'd just it could be a long time before it does work out and every day of that intervening period is scary. Just another thought on loneliness, in response to something someone read. I do agree we are responsible for that ourselves. I am very active - excellent social life, do loads of activities, meet loads of people etc. in a way it makes it harder when you still have these feelings. I will try to do more though. | |||
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"Here's something a bit different OP, i do a pre recorded smooth show on hospital radio - think of a soothing, calming song and I will include it.. We all have lots going on and the stuff I doat the hospital helps me immeasurably " Thanks. My last but one bout of unrequited love was with a woman from Leigh . I specialise in it, to be honest, but the current one is by far the worst ever! That's a nice idea. A song..,,well I'm an ageing soul boy at heart. This is a bit obscure and may be a bit full-on lyrically for hospital radio, but I listen to A Whole Lot of Love by the Staple Singers in tough times. Would that be ok? Some times life is so hard, things are so bad Rough times at tomorrow is as twice as sad But, do not you give up - no, life is not over Look to the good side - it could be twice as bad And, here comes another day and I know, That there will be someway - you will see A whole lot of love; a whole lot of love amongst us Let me talk about it - baby, without even trying When I look at to your eyes, they are beautiful things But, do not you give up - no, the life is not over Keep on - keeping on, see what the love can bring And, if comes another day and I know, That there will be someway - there will be A whole lot of love; a whole lot of love; a whole lot of love Hu - yey! And if comes another day, and I know that, There will be someway - there will be someway A whole lot of love; a whole lot of love; A whole lot of love... | |||
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"Hi all I feel a complete fool writing this, but just writing this down helps. I'm very lonely today. I'm a sorted, friendly, sociable guy with many friends, but I feel isolated and at a bit of a loss of where to turn right now. It may seem bizarre to turn to Fabs, but I actually find there's a very supportive, kind community of people here. I have my faults, but I'm one of those guys who values good conversation on here and I'm confident that the people I've interacted with on here would back me up on that. I have tried to be supportive to others on here too, contributing positively to threads where others are struggling, particularly with anxiety related issues (I freely admit that's an issue for me). I won't bore you with the reasons here, but there's been a lot if upheaval this year and I've made decisions for postibe reasons that I'm scared will backfire on me. I'm fully aware that people have far more serious stuff to contend with and, in many ways, I'm an extremely lucky person. I'm sorry, this is a huge indulgence on my part. I'm say here in a cafe wishing someone would just give me a hug. I'm a 45 year-old bloke and I'm man enough to admit that. I guess I'm hoping there's someone at a bit of a loose end today or feeling similar. I promise I'm not hoping this will lead anywhere else - it's just about some need for human interaction. I have many friends, but I don't want to bother them right now and sometimes it's easier to talk to people who are more detached from your life. I don't blame any of you for reading this and thinking "what a self-obsessed fool". Honestly, I'm a good, kind guy who is just struggling a bit. Thanks for reading. I know I'll feel an idiot as soon as I post this, but here goes....." Its a new year on Jan 1st mate, it will soon be here, chin up, and lets hope 2015 is a better one eh? | |||
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"Here's something a bit different OP, i do a pre recorded smooth show on hospital radio - think of a soothing, calming song and I will include it.. We all have lots going on and the stuff I doat the hospital helps me immeasurably " What a nice post | |||
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"Well done that man, you can be in a room with a thousand people and still feel lonely. When you feel you have hit the bottom, there is only one way and that is up Her" Love this thread. Forumites rock! Hugs from me too OP. xxxx | |||
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"Here's something a bit different OP, i do a pre recorded smooth show on hospital radio - think of a soothing, calming song and I will include it.. We all have lots going on and the stuff I doat the hospital helps me immeasurably What a nice post " I suppose that shows there are even some normal nice guys amongst us hahaha | |||
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"This is a really nice thread Im especially lovin all the man hugs that have been offered I hope this has made _ost sock feel warm and cosy " | |||
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"I don't think you are a fool at all, I'm sure there are a lot of people on here who feel lonely quite a lot of the time and have a serious hug deficit they would like to put right on a daily basis, I know I would! I hope you find someone x" | |||
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"I hope your today feels better than your yesterday did and just know that I am sending more hugs your way xxx " Well said Lickawitch and seconded here. We need a hug emoji don't we. | |||
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"I hope your today feels better than your yesterday did and just know that I am sending more hugs your way xxx " Ditto | |||
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""I'm very lonely today. I'm a sorted, friendly, sociable guy with many friends, but I feel isolated and at a bit of a loss of where to turn right now. I feel this right now" Sorry to hear that. I've had amazing support (thanks again all) and hope you get some too. Feel free to send a message if you like. | |||
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""I'm very lonely today. I'm a sorted, friendly, sociable guy with many friends, but I feel isolated and at a bit of a loss of where to turn right now. I feel this right now" 9 times out of 10 there is a reason behind this ....... maybe its something in your passed you need to deal with . At times its hard to pin point as could come from years ago . | |||
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