FabSwingers.com forum: True Love

By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

several

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!"

Well, I know one couple has

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!"

Hmmmmmmmmmm

But if it wasnt, would they tell us ?

I for one wouldnt even expect to find it here or anywhere else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know of at least 4 couples!

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"I know of at least 4 couples!

hello

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

Well I have known two people couples from here who have recently started a relationship and of course they would never have imagine this was possible so it would be interesting to know how many other situations there have been!

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"I know of at least 4 couples!

Tell me more: Are they still together? How long have they been together. Did they get married?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there has been a few and good luck to them and well done i do love a happy ending! xx

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

"I know of at least 4 couples!

are you one of them.x

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"I know of at least 4 couples!

Well its on the increase - and good luck to them all i say!!!!

Why not

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"there has been a few and good luck to them and well done i do love a happy ending! xx

do we need new hats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know of at least 4 couples!

Well its on the increase - and good luck to them all i say!!!!

Why not

Oh i agree, its lovely when it all works out.

Me...im the never ending sceptic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"there has been a few and good luck to them and well done i do love a happy ending! xx

do we need new hats

and shoes.... and bags.... and dresses... and everythin else! any excuse lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"are you one of them.x"

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"I know of at least 4 couples!

Well its on the increase - and good luck to them all i say!!!!

Why not

Oh i agree, its lovely when it all works out.

Me...im the never ending sceptic.

Same here

But i dont care that i will be forever single, i intend to make the most of it and enjoy every single moment!!

Wooohooooooooooooooo :

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we know a couple met through a swinging site,happily married 2 children and they still swing

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

"are you one of them.x

I do pay attention to the forums lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we met on another swinging site and have been together almost 3 years now and got engaged last summer

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

I can think of 4 couples I know have got it together. 3 of whom are now engaged

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love is in the air, must be Spring!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we met on another swinging site and have been together almost 3 years now and got engaged last summer

aww thats great!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reaching for the Kleenex!!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think its wonderful as well. Didnt meet my beloved on this site but it was through swinging, met him four years ago and we have been a couple for three and i love him dearly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think its wonderful as well. Didnt meet my beloved on this site but it was through swinging, met him four years ago and we have been a couple for three and i love him dearly"

Awwww thats lurverly

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

SEE Miss Cynic - love CAN happen!!!

hehehheheheee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yerrrrrrr

But its banned in my house

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

This begs the question, if you have found love on here, would you continue with the lifestyle????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmmmmmm

Probably not me....IF it ever happened as i hate sharing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Siren & I met via here in 2007. We were married in 2008 and our son was born in 2009. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect three years.

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"Hmmmmmmmm

Probably not me....IF it ever happened as i hate sharing

Funny you mentioned that! As much as I seem to perform even better in a group situation (when my emotions are under control) I have found myself incredibly jealous and unable to share when I love that person. Indeed I prefer fucking to relationships but swingers do have a heart too and most importantly this is never confused with the sexiness of that person but you instantly know that that person is special…

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"Siren & I met via here in 2007. We were married in 2008 and our son was born in 2009. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect three years.

... and my very best congratulations to both of you that is nice when it happens, indeed love is blind even in a site that most people would not join to find the love of their life! Is it not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two members , only weeks ago , declared to have found a 'special' partner and left the site saying they would not share and their new found relationships would be sexually exclusive.

Other members were quite scathing with their remarks, almost to the point of revealing a nazicistic element of swinging ( if it exists )

Begs the question:- Does jealousy have a place in swinging. If you won't share - are you a swinger ?

( N yep Peaches I do know you are self aware and open about why you are here xx )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Incidentally, BOTH members have since returned sans 'special' partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This begs the question, if you have found love on here, would you continue with the lifestyle????"

We made a decision not to play with anyone else for the time being, however, we still attend social events to meet people and friends etc...

The possibly of playing with other people in the future has not been discounted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And it helps us from being pestered by singles, however, that does not happen very often as most peeps seldom read our profiles properly!!!

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

" Two members , only weeks ago , declared to have found a 'special' partner and left the site saying they would not share and their new found relationships would be sexually exclusive.

Other members were quite scathing with their remarks, almost to the point of revealing a nazicistic element of swinging ( if it exists )

Begs the question:- Does jealousy have a place in swinging. If you won't share - are you a swinger ?

( N yep Peaches I do know you are self aware and open about why you are here xx ) "

I don't think this is a rule that you can apply to everybody. There are lots of lonely people in here who simply need a comforting hug once in a while. Some join the site out of curiosity, of course we all enjoy sex! who doesn't? but perhaps they can be more on the vanilla side of sex and hoping to be led into temptation through this site!

There is a difference between fucking and making love no doubt about that, two completely different things even if they may look the same from far away, but it is in fact those people involved who know it better!

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

" Incidentally, BOTH members have since returned sans 'special' partner. "

Interesting then it is wise to temporarily hide your profile rather then deleting it completely, would you not agree?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Incidentally, BOTH members have since returned sans 'special' partner.

Interesting then it is wise to temporarily hide your profile rather then deleting it completely, would you not agree?"

Each to their own I guess!

Peeps can still send and receive PMs when a profile is hidden, which can create tensions within a relationship if they are the jealous type!

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

... but then again I have met a young couple who have been together for 26 years! you can imagine since they were at school… yet they are serious swingers, but gosh if they have a strong relationship. I believe you have to have a solid relationship to be able to share your love one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we all have different ideas on swinging. For me, being single I like the variety of playing with different men.

Should I find a partner I wouldn't want to share them. I don't think it's jealousy, it just wouldn't be a turn on for me seeing my partner with someone else.

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By *ottongue49Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

ditto,not with guys though,thats why i also accomodate as well as ladys,no strings,no commitment and NO STRESS

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

I don't think anyone would join this site to find a relationship, this is not the place, but things happen and quite often when you are not looking for them and you least expect them to happen!

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By *ottongue49Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

im not really looking for them,so it wont happen for me,but i understand what you are saying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think we all have different ideas on swinging. For me, being single I like the variety of playing with different men.

Should I find a partner I wouldn't want to share them. I don't think it's jealousy, it just wouldn't be a turn on for me seeing my partner with someone else.

Would you allow them to continue to play with others if it's not jealousy ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im not really looking for them,so it wont happen for me,but i understand what you are saying.

It doesn't matter that you are not looking or even if you actively against it.... it happens anyway xx

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"im not really looking for them,so it wont happen for me,but i understand what you are saying.

I wish I could take a vaccine and build up my immune system believe me as it bloody hurts when it happens!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

every play meet, i treat it as love till time to go, if more out me it then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm looking for a husband.

I've heard there are a few on fab. lmao!

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By *ottongue49Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

pmsl

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"im not really looking for them,so it wont happen for me,but i understand what you are saying.

It doesn't matter that you are not looking or even if you actively against it.... it happens anyway xx"

very true granny. Is it better when it happens and you werent actively seeking i wonder??

i have no expectaions from any of the sites i am on, swinging or dating etc, just enjoying meeting new people and if a relationship happens then thats great but if not i am still enjoying being single

Would i swing when in a relationship - i think that is a hard qustion to answer until i am in one lol i have said before that i wouldnt but the more i am enjoying this sie the more i am thinking that maybe i would, after a time of getting to know each other and cementing the relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think we all have different ideas on swinging. For me, being single I like the variety of playing with different men.

Should I find a partner I wouldn't want to share them. I don't think it's jealousy, it just wouldn't be a turn on for me seeing my partner with someone else.

Would you allow them to continue to play with others if it's not jealousy ? "

I've never owned anyone or ever dictated to another adult what they can or cannot do.

As I said it wouldn't be a turn on for me to watch them with someone else but they would be free to play on their own...as would I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think we all have different ideas on swinging. For me, being single I like the variety of playing with different men.

Should I find a partner I wouldn't want to share them. I don't think it's jealousy, it just wouldn't be a turn on for me seeing my partner with someone else.

Would you allow them to continue to play with others if it's not jealousy ?

I've never owned anyone or ever dictated to another adult what they can or cannot do.

As I said it wouldn't be a turn on for me to watch them with someone else but they would be free to play on their own...as would I

Food for thought that ... thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/04/10 10:46:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can think of 4 couples I know have got it together. 3 of whom are now engaged

yep and we are one of them

met smiffy on here a while back, clicked the first time we met , didnt see each other for a bit then due to people being nasty and telling porkys, but had another meet and been together ever since and we got engaged last sat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We were together before joining the site but decided last year to part for a short while where we played separately. After 3mth we got back together through this site and are now stronger than ever. We both find it a turn on to seethe other pleasing and being pleased involving others but will never separate again. Cheers to this site

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"I can think of 4 couples I know have got it together. 3 of whom are now engaged

yep and we are one of them

awwww congrats!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I can think of 4 couples I know have got it together. 3 of whom are now engaged

yep and we are one of them

awwwww congratulations you two xxxxx

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By *ottongue49Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

this is boring,why dont fab change the name of the site,love.com

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"I can think of 4 couples I know have got it together. 3 of whom are now engaged

yep and we are one of them

Congrats to you

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"this is boring,why dont fab change the name of the site,love.com"

how rude.

This is ONE thread that you dont have to read actually.

And on about several couples who have met and got it together - and out of the number of members of this site - its a small drop in the ocean.

So i am sure there are plenty left who will meet your needs or you theirs

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"this is boring,why dont fab change the name of the site,love.com"

why do some people have to try to bring threads down??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this is boring,why dont fab change the name of the site,love.com"

And that's probably why you're single at 49 years old. You came across as very bitter then.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"this is boring,why dont fab change the name of the site,love.com

why do some people have to try to bring threads down??

Something lacking???

Got out of bed on his own on the wrong side????

GOOD LUCK TO ALL YOU COUPLES that met on here

Love is usually found in the most bizarre places and more so when you not even looking.

When you do find it you have to grab it with both hands and sail with it

Why not???

Who wants to end up and old misrebly fucker that no-one wants to be with???

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By *ottongue49Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

im not trying to bring it down,people are getting bit sloppy though,im entitled to my opinion just like everyone else on here,its called fab.swingers.com,im just having a joke when i put;;love.com,not been rude towards the thread.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

Read it back - calling it boring didnt help make it look like a joke.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"im not trying to bring it down,people are getting bit sloppy though,im entitled to my opinion just like everyone else on here,its called fab.swingers.com,im just having a joke when i put;;love.com,not been rude towards the thread.

think you need to learn appropriate use of smileys then to get your 'jokes' across lol

it is called fab swingers and when people meet on here and get together that is FAB!!!!

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By *ottongue49Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

ok ok ok you have all had a dig at me,most of them were a personal attack on me,thought you werent supposed to do that on here?Im definately not miserable and also not bitter,i enjoy my swinging lifestyle and i have also had a relationship in the past through swinging,i just said it was getting boring,there is some people on here who know i have a weird+crazy wit and those have not personally attacked me like some others are doing.I do have feelings you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok ok ok you have all had a dig at me,most of them were a personal attack on me,thought you werent supposed to do that on here?Im definately not miserable and also not bitter,i enjoy my swinging lifestyle and i have also had a relationship in the past through swinging,i just said it was getting boring,there is some people on here who know i have a weird+crazy wit and those have not personally attacked me like some others are doing.I do have feelings you know

As do we, and to have our happiness ridiculed as boring is quite insensitive. If you don't like stones thrown at you then I suggest you refrain from throwing them yourself.

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By *ottongue49Man
over a year ago

BARNSLEY

ok i apologise,it wasnt meant to come across ridiculing you,sorry if it came across like that.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

Can we bring it back onto thread now PURLEASE xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

The sun is out,

THe sky is blue

Theres not a cloud - to spoil the view

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

It's all very well chatting up someone on this site, than take all the next steps from msn before exchanging numbers to arrange a meet as we do, then you meet, you get the fun you wanted and you keep in touch once in a while. I am the first one to say I do not welcome endless tennis emails... because I am here for the fun and that’s that!

… but then when you spend 3 hours chatting on this site the first time a vanilla woman catches your eyes, you then spend a further 3 hours on msn and finally another 3 hours on the phone… a total amount of 9 hours on your first attempt in getting to know someone till you drop tired and really need to go to sleep, than you meet for coffee and you find that the conversation is really fast flowing… you never want to end it and want to see more and more of this person… how can you deny that there is nothing special and how can you not open your heart to such an exquisite meet?

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"It's all very well chatting up someone on this site, than take all the next steps from msn before exchanging numbers to arrange a meet as we do, then you meet, you get the fun you wanted and you keep in touch once in a while. I am the first one to say I do not welcome endless tennis emails... because I am here for the fun and that’s that!

Oooooooooooooooooooooh.

Sounds quite devine

You GOTTA go with it.

Whats the point in not????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

are there vanilla women on this site ???? how very dare they.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not just vanilla. I met my special friend the first day I joined another swinging site. We mailed, texted, spoke on the phone then met. I can't remember a more fun, relaxed meet but thought the correspondence would tail off it didn't: it increased!

He doesn't meet anyone else knows I do: not happy with it but accepts it.

At the moment he's away on holiday with his mother and daughters and when he comes back we will have a serious talk.

I'm enjoying this lifestyle and being single: the question is could I give it up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

are there vanilla women on this site ???? how very dare they....."

Some are cherry flavour

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

"I'm looking for a husband.

I've heard there are a few on fab. lmao! "

LOL

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

Sassy - you gotta go with your feelings.

If the relatioship works then great - if not you already have a cirlce of friends that are willing to have you back xxxx

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

Nice tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok i apologise,it wasnt meant to come across ridiculing you,sorry if it came across like that."

Got to say I didn't take it as ridiculing. It was your opinon. Stick by your guns - you made NO personal remarks.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"Nice tits

Cheers Fuss Puss - am sure yours would put mine in the shade tho!!!!

hehehehehehe

xxxxxxxxxxxx

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

Its not gonna happen with me

My man's not gonna fuck other women so your safe with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and Iyke met on this site...met up..went to Chams...and hardly left each others side...until he had to go abroad a few weeks ago...getting married when he gets back...and one of the wedding receptions will be at Chams....we didn't expect to to fall head over heels...but we did...

xxx

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"Me and Iyke met on this site...met up..went to Chams...and hardly left each others side...until he had to go abroad a few weeks ago...getting married when he gets back...and one of the wedding receptions will be at Chams....we didn't expect to to fall head over heels...but we did...

xxx"

Oooooooooooooooh hunny thats GREAT!!!

I wanna come to chams when you are celebrating !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

xxx

Will be sending out invites honey...you are defo on the list...

xxx

Oooooooooooooooh hunny thats GREAT!!!

I wanna come to chams when you are celebrating !!!!!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

xxx"

We had our wedding reception at Chams cus we met there.

Brilliant place.......... do we all get an invite????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OOOhh...and we will be playing after we get married...we both love the lifestyle....and its just a part of our lives together....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

xxx

We had our wedding reception at Chams cus we met there.

Brilliant place.......... do we all get an invite????

HELL YES...Go on then...will post it on events....Mwah xxxx

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By *ishful.thinkingWoman
over a year ago

east london

I met "my guy" on another site and currently have no problems with the idea/reality of sharing him, but that may be as much as because everything is going well and the relationship is becoming stronger - its still relatively new.

Do think that there may be times ahead that it will be as well to take a step back and focus on ourselves as we are human and do suffer from insecurities and uncertainties which can niggle away.

For me the idea of serial monogamy is frighting - even before I discovered swinging the idea of saying you and only you for ever after had me running for the hills, was a big relief when I discovered this whole way of life - big clap for the web everybody.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He doesn't meet anyone else knows I do: not happy with it but accepts it.

At the moment he's away on holiday with his mother and daughters and when he comes back we will have a serious talk.

I'm enjoying this lifestyle and being single: the question is could I give it up?

hmmm Think very carefully on this one - the desire and need for variety and excitement may never leave you and as one who tried a relationship like this last year - it doesnt work if one of you compromises but isnt happy about it. Swinging doesnt work if one of you is jealous - but equally a relationship doesnt work if one of you overly compromises. Sorry to put a dampener on it but its a dangerous game to play.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not this site, but one very similar, 6 years down the line and we still head over heel in love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok i apologise,it wasnt meant to come across ridiculing you,sorry if it came across like that.

Got to say I didn't take it as ridiculing. It was your opinon. Stick by your guns - you made NO personal remarks. "

And you're the self appointed God to say what is and isn't insensitive are you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok i apologise,it wasnt meant to come across ridiculing you,sorry if it came across like that.

Got to say I didn't take it as ridiculing. It was your opinon. Stick by your guns - you made NO personal remarks.

And you're the self appointed God to say what is and isn't insensitive are you?

I was speaking for myself Wishy. Not for YOU not for ANYONE else. Therefore no ... I didn't appoint myself as anyone elses God.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I met "my guy" on another site and currently have no problems with the idea/reality of sharing him, but that may be as much as because everything is going well and the relationship is becoming stronger - its still relatively new.

Do think that there may be times ahead that it will be as well to take a step back and focus on ourselves as we are human and do suffer from insecurities and uncertainties which can niggle away.

Thanks for that xx Very interesting. I often wonder how things would pan out if children came on the scene. Makes playing difficult enough between partners - let alone having time for swing partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He doesn't meet anyone else knows I do: not happy with it but accepts it.

At the moment he's away on holiday with his mother and daughters and when he comes back we will have a serious talk.

I'm enjoying this lifestyle and being single: the question is could I give it up?

xxx"

When me and Iyke got together..we did come off the scene for a while....loads of talking and exploring feelings...nesting...we came to the conclusion that we would both miss the lifestyle ...and we have boundaries now that we have negotiated as a couple....we love each other dearly and both want to continue playing...but we did have the swinging mindset before we met... we are realistic and do appreciate that there will be challenges...but hopefully our bond is strong enough to face them together...thanks Fab...xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/04/10 13:19:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was alot easier for me and kev when we met on the scene as im (kat) bisexual, infact i slept with a woman before a man, we stayed in the lifestyle just meeting bifems, i never had an issue with kev been with another woman as its a huge turn on for me, and kev always saw me playing with another woman as 1, a huge turn on and 2, me satisfying needs that he could not.

Over time when we had found our feet together, nesting as another poster put it, we moved our boundaries, first cpls, and then in the right situation single men. The point is i think if a cpl take the time to settle together as a cpl then swinging can be introduced if and when its right for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He doesn't meet anyone else knows I do: not happy with it but accepts it.

At the moment he's away on holiday with his mother and daughters and when he comes back we will have a serious talk.

I'm enjoying this lifestyle and being single: the question is could I give it up?

xxx"

Until I was 44 I'd only had one sexual partner: my husband. If we'd stayed together I would have in all likelihood gone to my grave having only slept with him: I have no problem with monogomy or not doing what I want to do.

My friend and I met on a swinging site, I still swing not as much granted, he doesn't. He hasn't put any pressure on me, hasn't said stop, but I see it in his face.

This has always been about fun for me and I guess sowing my oats in reverse and making up for lost time. I don't NEED to swing, I LIKE to, and my sub toys are great fun but they don't do anything my friend doesn't...I'm just greedy.

It maybe that six years of having a damn horny time may come to end, perhaps briefly while we get use to being a couple, and there's no guarantee that's what we'll be. He's back Wednesday, we meet on Thursday to see where we go...it may be business as usual - but we'll see!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sassy...wishing you all of the happiness in the world...you are right in saying...both of you should be happy with playing or it just wont work out...

if you have found a good man...and monogomy is not a problem for you....maybe you already have your answer...all the best Girl..xxx

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

And what would you say in a double trouble situation.... in the sense that a woman meets almost simultaneously two men in a website, they are both very nice guys, they also know each other and she likes both of them yet she did not know she was involved nor was of course looking for a relationship as her intention was to have some sexy fun! Thinks develop, but only a full would rush into a relationship yet because these two “nice guys” also know each other a decision, one way or the other has to be made….

I understand that when a relationship is solid we can both decide to swing if only to bring a little sparkle in the relationship, but when you are not sure you have a relationship yet? Tough luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/04/10 14:27:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!"

I met hubby on this site when we were on here as singles,was the last place i thought i would fall for someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 18/04/10 14:27:48]"

Pressed the send button too early, whoops...wanted to say this :

Very good point - we know we love the life style, which (for us anyway) is not just about having sex with others, it is as much about meeting other like-minded open non-judgemental people and somehow I cannot see us ever giving it up. From that stance we have a few boundaries in place, safe sex being one of them.

For us it is the life style is perfectly compatible with a loving relationship - it is just all about communication, boundaries and if there are any issues to be discussed, we discuss them between ourselves. If one is not happy about a (swing) situation we dont play. Simple.

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"[Removed by poster at 18/04/10 14:27:48]

Pressed the send button too early, whoops...wanted to say this :

Very sound advice... I agree!

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

Well I met someone here and believe me love was the last thing on my mind

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Well I met someone here and believe me love was the last thing on my mind"
lust?

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"Well I met someone here and believe me love was the last thing on my mindlust?

and a damn good fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Two members , only weeks ago , declared to have found a 'special' partner and left the site saying they would not share and their new found relationships would be sexually exclusive.

Other members were quite scathing with their remarks, almost to the point of revealing a nazicistic element of swinging ( if it exists )

Begs the question:- Does jealousy have a place in swinging. If you won't share - are you a swinger ?

( N yep Peaches I do know you are self aware and open about why you are here xx ) "

I also know what im like hence NOT swinging IF and i say IF i ever met that someone special.

I know my limits and expectations so thats why i prefer no strings and it causes less stress to me and i enjoy what i have .

To me ...thats why i swing. its less stressful Fun

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By *eprobatepairCouple
over a year ago

london

We met via another swingers site. Blissfully happy after 2 and 1/2 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is something about the lifestyle and the compatibility of open minded adventurous people. Maybe that is why relationships started in this way have a good chance of lasting?

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By *ishful.thinkingWoman
over a year ago

east london

" Thanks for that xx Very interesting. I often wonder how things would pan out if children came on the scene. Makes playing difficult enough between partners - let alone having time for swing partners. "

We both have children from our previous relationships, so for us it may be easier as our child free weekends coincide - long may that continue as we spent a lovely afternoon at Kestrel Hydro this afternoon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!"

Well they shouldn't as its a swingers site and they are purchasing from under the counter then. I would rather sample all the wares if possible as its more fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!

Well they shouldn't as its a swingers site and they are purchasing from under the counter then. I would rather sample all the wares if possible as its more fun."

You mean under the Trade Description Act lol?

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

are there vanilla women on this site ???? how very dare they....."

Well yes there are and how dare they? The things is they are here out of curiousity as indeed swingers we become and noone is borne as such.

It is in fact their inexperience that can be attractive yet dangerous at the same time that gets you but then again we are only human. They can have better communication skills and can be more intellectually penetrating, also as they are looking to be introduced in the scene they are more into the quality rather then quantity... you dedicate more time to them, you get to know them deeper and you start letting your emotions go for them which goes totally against the swinging idea of nsa sexy fun! This is all very well except they do not know what they want, they are confused and you are taking a risk here!

My advice to all those single guys is watch out and come to the point soon enough so that you only get to know them for what is worth and nothing more! Of course this is easy to say in theory but in practice a single guy can be vulnerable to such vanilla women and we have to take the consequences.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"Well I met someone here and believe me love was the last thing on my mind"

But if you are married you arent looking for love surely!!!

So its just sex sex and more sex.

If love comes into it then surely you wwill have BIG problems????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

are there vanilla women on this site ???? how very dare they.....

Well yes there are and how dare they? The things is they are here out of curiousity as indeed swingers we become and noone is borne as such.

i think a lot of women on here are actually looking for love and dont want to admit it....im really not!! i wa totally faithfully married to a guy for 32 yrs who left me for a friend .. ....im not willingly going to put myself in a situation where a guy can hurt me like that again ...so the swinging / NSA life style suits me ...i dont think i will ever be monogamous again...and ive met some lovely guys who adore me !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have met two guys through swinging who once ive seen a cpl of times have indicated that they would NOT like me seeing anyone else.

Fine for them...But not me and i dont want or need that hassle.

How very dare they ......

If someone meets and finds someone they are happy with through the course of swinging then thats great .

In all honesty....

I know i wouldnt be one of them if i had any choice in the matter .

Some times you dont as things have a habit of biting you on the ass when least expecting it. lmao

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

I dont believe ther are lots of women on here looking for love.

If it comes and smacks you in the face then why deny it??

But lets face it - we are all here for sex and fun, if the love thing rears its ugly head - then deal with it as is,

No big issues, either go wtih it or not.

Easy.

For those couples that HAVE gone with it and its lovely- then GOOD LUCK xxx

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

whether its on a swingers site,or in real life.if you find love.recognise it,and take the chance.not many come along.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"whether its on a swingers site,or in real life.if you find love.recognise it,and take the chance.not many come along."

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By *ouple1234Couple
over a year ago

BELFAST UK

true love is only if she swallows every man knows that

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"true love is only if she swallows every man knows that

only swallow if in own bed - saves on the washing you know!!!!

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By *ouple1234Couple
over a year ago

BELFAST UK

"true love is only if she swallows every man knows that

only swallow if in own bed - saves on the washing you know!!!!"

thats a top tip i must bring that up tomarrow when i see the girlfriend

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"true love is only if she swallows every man knows that

only swallow if in own bed - saves on the washing you know!!!!

thats a top tip i must bring that up tomarrow when i see the girlfriend

lol

when working behind the bar we got asekd the question - spit or swalloe.

Veggie girl thought she was funny by saying swallow - only protien she gts.

Polish girl was disgusted and said she spat!!

I said depends whose bed i am in, lol

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

oooo

ooooooooooooooo

and as for shaven pussies

its the only time you can return the favour of a stubble rash!!!!!!!!!!!

Heheeeeeeeeeeeee

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"whether its on a swingers site,or in real life.if you find love.recognise it,and take the chance.not many come along."

Well done and well said too! I have been terribly in love 3 times in my life; the first time when I was 16 and my third time only recently so that does not happen very often and believe me during the course I have met a few women....

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

.... some of them swallow it too in my own bed which was very considerate of them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont believe ther are lots of women on here looking for love.

If it comes and smacks you in the face then why deny it??

But lets face it - we are all here for sex and fun, if the love thing rears its ugly head - then deal with it as is,

No big issues, either go wtih it or not.

Easy.

For those couples that HAVE gone with it and its lovely- then GOOD LUCK xxx"

I agree with almost all of this except the choice bit ......

....... if love rears it's ugly head..

'No big issue. Go with it or not. Easy'

That could only happen in a perfect world where BOTH fall in love. BOTH decide to go with it or BOTH decide not to. Where BOTH are free to choose. It's never such a simple affair.

In the immortal words of that unforgettable man whose name I can't remember....

Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and marrs ....

Sometimes ( not all the time ) the pursuit of N.S.A isn't so much a prefered way of life but a way of ensuring that the little bit of unscarred tissue left on your heart stays that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better to have loved and lost than never to have experienced love at all.

When the opportunity to share my life with another person presented itself recently, I would be stupid not to grab it after the heartaches and unfortunate events I have been through in recent years.

If people keep putting up barriers to prevent them from being hurt in pursue of NSA fun for whatever reasons, then please, peeps, do me a favour and keep your mouths shut and do not whinge when you find yourselves alone without anyone to share your lives with!!!

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By *ickedWWoman
over a year ago

Chester

Well said Pearl...

Hope you are ok x

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have experienced love at all.

When the opportunity to share my life with another person presented itself recently, I would be stupid not to grab it after the heartaches and unfortunate events I have been through in recent years.

I am so glad I am not the only one who feels the same and thank you so much for letting your emotions free on this topic.... only because we are swingers and are open to the fact that we enjoy sex and feel confident with our sexual desires and fantasies, that does not mean we do not have a heart and decide to open it to the right person?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have experienced love at all.

When the opportunity to share my life with another person presented itself recently, I would be stupid not to grab it after the heartaches and unfortunate events I have been through in recent years.

im not whinging .... one happy bunny here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its quite remarkable how peoples views differ on this subject. I would have thought that to see someone else happy where ever they meet wouldn’t be a problem but apparently its not so.

We are always happy to see any partnership form if its based on honesty and trust no matter where or when they meet. P thinks its not that unusual for people to meet on a swingers site as there in little hidden from the outset and it will often work well as they have comparable sexual drives and mutual desires. Well that’s the way we see it.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

no one is grudging anyone finding a soulmate here or anywhere else, I'm sure

But I for 1 would not want a swinger for a long term partner

said so for yrs

and will keep saying it

but a lot of men on here are using the site as a stopgap until they find someone

so never say never I guess

but I do know of lots of successful partnerships found on sites like FAB and best of luck to them

they stand as good a chance as anyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no one is grudging anyone finding a soulmate here or anywhere else, I'm sure

But I for 1 would not want a swinger for a long term partner

said so for yrs

and will keep saying it

but a lot of men on here are using the site as a stopgap until they find someone

so never say never I guess

but I do know of lots of successful partnerships found on sites like FAB and best of luck to them

they stand as good a chance as anyone else"

Well i guess we will have to agree to differ as we are reading this thread maybe a little differently.

But i would agree good luck to the ones that do where ever they meet.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im not looking for a relationship just a damn good shag.Because jay and i met through swinging ive never had to explain why im a swinger or face any jeolosy on either side. We are 100% honest and open with Jay thats why i know hes my soulmate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not looking for a relationship just a damn good shag.Because jay and i met through swinging ive never had to explain why im a swinger or face any jeolosy on either side. We are 100% honest and open with Jay thats why i know hes my soulmate"

Im pretty certain if i do ever find exactly the right guy for me in the future he will have to be prepared to share me ....dont think monogamy is for me any more`?? ... but i guess u can never say never ..no one knows what is around their corner do they ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes ( not all the time ) the pursuit of N.S.A isn't so much a prefered way of life but a way of ensuring that the little bit of unscarred tissue left on your heart stays that way.

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have experienced love at all.

When the opportunity to share my life with another person presented itself recently, I would be stupid not to grab it after the heartaches and unfortunate events I have been through in recent years.

Hear Hear xx to all of that xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have experienced love at all.

When the opportunity to share my life with another person presented itself recently, I would be stupid not to grab it after the heartaches and unfortunate events I have been through in recent years.

So very true - and of course there is nothing wrong with being either a NSA swinger or in a loving relationship or both if both parties are happy with that. The main thing is about being aware of one's own expectations of the site, the life style and life in general. The other important part is to communicate with your partner (or swing partners) what it is that you both want... then there will be less hurt and scarring for all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its quite remarkable how peoples views differ on this subject. I would have thought that to see someone else happy where ever they meet wouldn’t be a problem but apparently its not so.

To be fair to everyone I don't think anyone has said they are not happy for others to have met. Everyone is just airing their thoughts on the matter. I couldn't be happier when I see people connecting for whatever reason. No use in pretending there aren't people living life to other rules tho xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes ( not all the time ) the pursuit of N.S.A isn't so much a prefered way of life but a way of ensuring that the little bit of unscarred tissue left on your heart stays that way.

Well said "

Fanks xx

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

Sometimes ( not all the time ) the pursuit of N.S.A isn't so much a prefered way of life but a way of ensuring that the little bit of unscarred tissue left on your heart stays that way.

Well said

Fanks xx"
love breaks but also mends.jfk said.judge a person, not by how often they are knocked down,but how often they rise again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes ( not all the time ) the pursuit of N.S.A isn't so much a prefered way of life but a way of ensuring that the little bit of unscarred tissue left on your heart stays that way.

Well said

Fanks xxlove breaks but also mends.jfk said.judge a person, not by how often they are knocked down,but how often they rise again."

The quote was not made in relation to love. It's a great quote though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes ( not all the time ) the pursuit of N.S.A isn't so much a prefered way of life but a way of ensuring that the little bit of unscarred tissue left on your heart stays that way.

Well said

Fanks xxlove breaks but also mends.jfk said.judge a person, not by how often they are knocked down,but how often they rise again."

wow... very true as it highlights the importance of positive thinking leaving the feeling of being a victim behind to move on in life.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

Sometimes ( not all the time ) the pursuit of N.S.A isn't so much a prefered way of life but a way of ensuring that the little bit of unscarred tissue left on your heart stays that way.

Well said

Fanks xxlove breaks but also mends.jfk said.judge a person, not by how often they are knocked down,but how often they rise again.

The quote was not made in relation to love. It's a great quote though. "
not in relation to love,but to life.of which love should be a big part.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

A life without love, whether sexual or spiritual is not worth living

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A life without love, whether sexual or spiritual is not worth living"

Absolutely.. not just love between lovers..

No man is an island !

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!"

Not as many as those who think they have

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!

Not as many as those who think they have

"
you will have to fill that half empty glass polo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i love my family, i love my friends, i love other things but to love a man i just dont think i can do!! call me cynical , hard hearted whatever i just dont have space for it in my life so happy with what i have and dont want the upheavel involved as i said kiddo would have a settled life without havin a man or that disrupt it so its the single life for me !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i love my family, i love my friends, i love other things but to love a man i just dont think i can do!! call me cynical , hard hearted whatever i just dont have space for it in my life so happy with what i have and dont want the upheavel involved as i said kiddo would have a settled life without havin a man or that disrupt it so its the single life for me !

xx"

You dont sound cynical at all... you sound like right now there is no room in your life for a special person. This may or may not change - but you sure do not sound bitter or cynical xxx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!

Not as many as those who think they have

you will have to fill that half empty glass polo.

My glass is nicely filled above the half way mark

I've just been around long enough to have seen many an announcement go full circle.

Whilst some will have genuinely found love where/when they least expected it… far more have hastily rushed to announce “I never expected…. blar blar …. it was the last thing…. blar blar” so much so that a number of phrases are now well worn cliché.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah no point in bein bitter i made the choice and me alone! dont get me wrong times it feels weird all friends etc married or attached but i just dont think its for me! i would never be bitter towards anyone else who finds love or wants it and love a good wedding lol!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yeah no point in bein bitter i made the choice and me alone! dont get me wrong times it feels weird all friends etc married or attached but i just dont think its for me! i would never be bitter towards anyone else who finds love or wants it and love a good wedding lol!! xx

you will be invited to ours and that is no idle promise xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you will be invited to ours and that is no idle promise xx"

yay new clothes!! and a dance or twelve!! im great at startin the time warp or ymca or shang a lang lol!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

quite a few in the welsh room have found love, getting engaged and that

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By *eprobatepairCouple
over a year ago

london

When we met on another site the VERY last thing we wanted or expected was to fall in love. In fact we were both very of the opinion "Hey, I'm a player, you better be damn good to impress me. I'm emotionally sorted, not needy and can walk away any time." But impress oneanother we did. We had tons in common in and out of bed. We spent more and more time with eachother. Then both realised it was more than just playmates, it wasn't infatuation or just lust. We are both old enough to know the difference.

Love wasn't what we set out to find but are both damn glad it's what resulted. In order to receive love you have to give it. Unconditionally. And accept the possibility that you may get hurt.

We've both hurt others and been hurt ourselves.

But now we have both found safe harbour.

If that's not for you, then cool. Have fun and enjoy NSA. We've just been lucky. Hopefully everyone else will be as lucky whichever path they choose to take.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Please keep your personal issues away from the forums.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Please keep your personal issues away from the forums.

"
i thought you were on holiday.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Please keep your personal issues away from the forums.

i thought you were on holiday.

Awww you must have missed me and my whip

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Please keep your personal issues away from the forums.

i thought you were on holiday.

Awww you must have missed me and my whip

"
no just ya feather bloody duster

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

haha, did you find one in the end?

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Please keep your personal issues away from the forums.

i thought you were on holiday.

Awww you must have missed me and my whip

no just ya feather bloody duster

"
speak for yourself femme.rugbys got a point.

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"haha, did you find one in the end?"

No thank god! I am ticklish enough without one

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol @ bad and saucy

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

no i didnt get one, but i bought something better today im sure BB will report in about it later, maybe not tho hehehehehehehehe..............but i still want a black n white bloody feather duster grrrrrrrrrrrrr

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"no i didnt get one, but i bought something better today im sure BB will report in about it later, maybe not tho hehehehehehehehe..............but i still want a black n white bloody feather duster grrrrrrrrrrrrr

NO you DON'T!!!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

NO you DON'T!!!

"
well il have the black and white shoes then.....? hehehehehehe

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"lol @ bad and saucy"
bad enough for the whip,please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol @ bad and saucybad enough for the whip,please

Thought you were dominant...;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NO you DON'T!!!

well il have the black and white shoes then.....? hehehehehehe

ann summers got a black and white feather duster xx

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

NO you DON'T!!!

well il have the black and white shoes then.....? hehehehehehe

ann summers got a black and white feather duster xx"
i went in and they hadnt, i dont want a lil thing i want one that can really tickle...i mean dust!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they got it in book only 6 quid and it looks not bad size?? either that or ask ken dodds for his tickling stick!!! x

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"they got it in book only 6 quid and it looks not bad size?? either that or ask ken dodds for his tickling stick!!! x

"
il look online, thank you darlin xxxx

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"lol @ bad and saucybad enough for the whip,please

Thought you were dominant...;-) "
both work for me.ambidextrious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well have to say my love found me before i found him. but it was not on a site but at place of work.

so think love can be found any where. it comes when least expect it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol @ bad and saucybad enough for the whip,please

Thought you were dominant...;-) both work for me.ambidextrious

Does dextrious refer to the hands? I am beginning to lower my expectations and feeling safe again...;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!"

about a year and a half ago I introduced my fuck buddy to fab and he started chatting to someone and they met, and fell in love...so was the end of my fuck buddidom (yes I just made that word up lol)with him and they are together to this day...lol...lost a bloody good fuck buddy too...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

NO you DON'T!!!

well il have the black and white shoes then.....? hehehehehehe

ann summers got a black and white feather duster xxi went in and they hadnt, i dont want a lil thing i want one that can really tickle...i mean dust!!!

I have just the thing Femme

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

NO you DON'T!!!

well il have the black and white shoes then.....? hehehehehehe

ann summers got a black and white feather duster xxi went in and they hadnt, i dont want a lil thing i want one that can really tickle...i mean dust!!!

I have just the thing Femme

Oooo don't you dare she will use it in bad bad ways !

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

NO you DON'T!!!

well il have the black and white shoes then.....? hehehehehehe

ann summers got a black and white feather duster xxi went in and they hadnt, i dont want a lil thing i want one that can really tickle...i mean dust!!!

I have just the thing Femme

"
I think i need to speak to Mr R

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

look femme

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"look femme

"
biatch!!!! lol

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"lol @ bad and saucybad enough for the whip,please

Thought you were dominant...;-) both work for me.ambidextrious

Does dextrious refer to the hands? I am beginning to lower my expectations and feeling safe again...;-)"
get back up there

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"look femme

O.M.G!!! you wouldn't!!!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

;-)

I might lend you it, Bigbad seems to get the shakes when it is mentioned !

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

UPDATE: I said that I know two couples who have found love in this website well one of them are serious swingers while the other are just beginners with one perhaps more experienced than the other person. Well the serious swinger couple agreed on an exclusive relationship because he was jealous and she surprisingly accepted something that she did not think ever to happen to her in 3 years she had been swinging. Well he left on Saturday and on Sunday he went already to a meet so now she is very upset to say the list. My question to you is how could a serious swinger woman get upset if she did not have feelings for him? And I could not agree with her more - how could someone with deep feelings forget about everything only the day after? - Of course he has been honest because he is a true swinger while a beginner would have lied for his own selfish purpose!

To be continued.....

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

";-)

I might lend you it, Bigbad seems to get the shakes when it is mentioned !"

Too right i am! You have no idea what she has threatened!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IMHO, honesty is of paramount importance. Without it, trust goes out of the window, and the relationship is doomed for failure.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

";-)

I might lend you it, Bigbad seems to get the shakes when it is mentioned !

Too right i am! You have no idea what she has threatened!!!

Oh I can imagine, and I would normally say I hope we get to see the pics, but in this case, maybe not

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"IMHO, honesty is of paramount importance. Without it, trust goes out of the window, and the relationship is doomed for failure.

"
the best relationships,are built on lies and deception.youve just got to be good at it.

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"IMHO, honesty is of paramount importance. Without it, trust goes out of the window, and the relationship is doomed for failure.

I agree but then again honest people are vulnerable because as they do not lie themselves are also more likely to believe what is being told to them and they get hurt poor them! Also when you lie once and you have been caught how can you trust that person again?

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"IMHO, honesty is of paramount importance. Without it, trust goes out of the window, and the relationship is doomed for failure.

the best relationships,are built on lies and deception.youve just got to be good at it.

I would not care how bad you have been in the past nor how many partners you have had: - there is no future in the past! - but the minute we start a relationship only honesty could be the most important ingredient to "True Love" also as nobody is perfect we can all make a mistake but if you havent got the guts to apologise and tell the truth that would not be a mistake! Anything can be repairable but if lie you would not get another chance with me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definition of love is also a complex topic. Need to think about this one as for me it has changed as I got older, my priorities have changed in what I am seeking from the other person.

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"Definition of love is also a complex topic. Need to think about this one as for me it has changed as I got older, my priorities have changed in what I am seeking from the other person. "

Can you explain that? I hope you are not looking for someone to lie to you as you fear knowing the truth!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definition of love is also a complex topic. Need to think about this one as for me it has changed as I got older, my priorities have changed in what I am seeking from the other person.

Can you explain that? I hope you are not looking for someone to lie to you as you fear knowing the truth!? "

Serious answer : Not at all. I would always seek the truth no matter what, and I would always tell the truth. It is a Mantra of mine and I consider it an abuse of language not to. I will concede though as I did on another thread earlier that there is rarely a single truth, because your perception of a situation, an issue depends on your perspective. So a handful of people who witnessed an accident may well give as many different versions of the event and still be telling the (their) truth. It is the phenomenology of perception, a personal interest of mine.

Light-hearted : I desperately need a cup of tea and that is my truth for tonight... night night to you all xx

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

[Removed by poster at 20/04/10 10:00:58]

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"Definition of love is also a complex topic. Need to think about this one as for me it has changed as I got older, my priorities have changed in what I am seeking from the other person.

Can you explain that? I hope you are not looking for someone to lie to you as you fear knowing the truth!?

Light-hearted : I desperately need a cup of tea and that is my truth for tonight... night night to you all xx"

I appreciate that there are many unusual situations of relationships and sometimes it makes you wonder how they can survive. The only answer I could give is that there are always 3 versions of the truth: 1) her version 2) his version 3) the real version…

In this case however we are talking about two people who have feelings for one another and that they are trying to build a relationship, they both decide to be exclusive to each other, she is exclusive to him and he is only telling her he is but in fact he is not!!!! Once again this is a mutual agreement…. Surely that cannot be right and particularly at the beginning of a relationship so I wonder how can you build something solid from cheating!

Swinger do not cheat, they don’t have to! they are totally open about sex and that is why I like this site; far too many problems emanate from cheating in normal “vanilla” relationships so I would like to think that once there are good communication skills and we are open about sex, what could it possibly go wrong? Well it is not that some people lie…. It’s just they do not know how to tell the truth!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that to a swinger there is no need for the lies that non-swingers feel the need to create in order to satisfy their urges.

Put it this way, I might find someone I want to have sex with. In a traditional (vanilla?) relationship, I have to either suppress that desire, or if I decide to pursue then I have to lie/hide.

I define my status as a swinger to be that I am open about my desire and intention to have sex with other people. My wife knows I want to do this and therefore I have no need to pretend otherwise. This prevents our marriage being affected by this most common of ills, lying and cheating.

Ultimately, if you say you're going to do something you ought to do it. If you say you're not going to do something, you ought not to do it. Sure, there is sometimes some fun with white lies, being secretive etc., but generally the route to a happy life and lasting relationships is in being honest and trustworthy.

Let me put it this way - I have a friend who has never cheated but his girlfriend thinks he does and doesn't trust him. Unhappy. By contrast I do have sex with other people, entirely openly, and my wife does trust me completely - she has no reason not to. Happy.

I agree, if someone breaks a promise, it's so very hard to go back. Decide what you're going to do, say what you're going to do. Whatever that thing is - you've complied with your word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To follow up on the previous post and in answer to a question I received by text from Carlo - "Would you be faithful to her if she did not allow you to play?".

My answer is based on "she is who she is". If she didn't understand me deeply and see no harm in me playing, then she wouldn't be that same person I've fallen for, therefore the question is flawed. My wife wouldn't disallow me playing, therefore I don't have an answer that applies.

However, if she didn't understand me and we didn't have the relationship we have, would I cheat? Well, I have to say we only started talking about the topic while I was thinking about cheating (sex only) years ago. So in that case, I clearly thought I would cheat at the time.... but I learned an amazing lesson in faith in and from a good woman.

When I came close to cheating, we truly looked into ourselves, asked and answered a lot of questions that we may never have asked - and became so very much closer as a result.

My desire to swing comes and goes. Sometimes I can't get enough, others I can't be bothered. My wife wouldn't like it if this hobby took up all of my time any more than she would if my car maintenance took all of our weekends. We still want time for each other and we still reserve 'love making' as our own. She understands the difference between loving and fucking very well...... and occasionally we 'fuck' too

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"To follow up on the previous post and in answer to a question I received by text from Carlo - "Would you be faithful to her if she did not allow you to play?".

When I came close to cheating, we truly looked into ourselves, asked and answered a lot of questions that we may never have asked - and became so very much closer as a result.

Thank you for sharing this experience with us that meant a lot to me and it makes perfectly sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To follow up on the previous post and in answer to a question I received by text from Carlo - "Would you be faithful to her if she did not allow you to play?".

When I came close to cheating, we truly looked into ourselves, asked and answered a lot of questions that we may never have asked - and became so very much closer as a result.

What a balanced view on swinging - it does not appear to rule your life, rather adds a bit of adventure and spice. We go through phases where we meet a lot of (swinging) people socially, we may do things like get into the hot tub with them but not necessarily have sex - it just so depends how we feel on the night and with the people involved. We have had amazing times swinging and socialising in the swinging world. The crucial things are honesty with each other about how we feel about each other, about swinging, about a specific meet etc.

I cannot imagine ever giving up the life style because it is so liberating and empowering and so much fun

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"When we met on another site the VERY last thing we wanted or expected was to fall in love. In fact we were both very of the opinion "Hey, I'm a player, you better be damn good to impress me. I'm emotionally sorted, not needy and can walk away any time." But impress oneanother we did. We had tons in common in and out of bed. We spent more and more time with eachother. Then both realised it was more than just playmates, it wasn't infatuation or just lust. We are both old enough to know the difference.

Love wasn't what we set out to find but are both damn glad it's what resulted. In order to receive love you have to give it. Unconditionally. And accept the possibility that you may get hurt.

We've both hurt others and been hurt ourselves.

But now we have both found safe harbour.

If that's not for you, then cool. Have fun and enjoy NSA. We've just been lucky. Hopefully everyone else will be as lucky whichever path they choose to take."

and a very well done to both of you... bless you!

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"Please keep your personal issues away from the forums.

No please!!! Any more stories like that one?

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"I wonder how many people have actually found love through a meeting from this website!

Yes but was just a fuck buddy for you or would you say there was something more special? Also do you feel jealousy or simply sad for the lost of a very good fuck buddy?

In a few words, when two meet in this website and decide to see one another more often because they get on and they have fantastic sex together... when would you say you stop fucking with that person and in fact feeling much more for that person?

If you now miss it surely there must have been something special as a good fuck can always be replaced in a website like this one but finding someone you feel comfortable with... that is truly something else!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not on this website, but by a chance that my (now) wife, looked through the member profiles on AOL, found mine, contacted me for a chat becuase we both lived near each other (and she thought that I was an 'old man' !!) - we met, a week later she moved in with me, a year later we married and the rest is history

Never looked back - either of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feeling comfortable with somebody is the operative word. There is nothing quite like being 100% at ease in somebody's company - from that stance of feeling un-judged and welcome alone anything is possible. Guess it is called trust?

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

CONCLUSION: Love can be manifested in many different forms or ways and indeed it often arrives when you least expect it, including in a swinger site! Passion is the foundation of precision… precision without passion is CHAOS therefore loyalty, good communication, being open minded and understanding are ways that can take a relationship to a much higher level even if there is a certain amount of risk, but then again there is no better way to find out how two beautiful minds came together to stay together if it was meant to.

I believe in fate and life is just a journey in the combination of pain and joy, but it is in fact through the problems and sorrows that we become more understanding and better people who can only appreciate even better those moments of happiness. I have often lost some very good opportunities in my life as I kept my emotions under control for fear of making a fool of myself, I have now learned to speak freely my thoughts, as you only live once (or at least in this life) and we should enjoy every day as if it was your last one… I would hate to feel one day – “I wish I had done that” – I am happy to say I have very few regrets.

The only people who know best about a relationship are those who are involved in it and letting your emotions go is the only way to discover “True Love”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"CONCLUSION: Love can be manifested in many different forms or ways and indeed it often arrives when you least expect it, including in a swinger site! Passion is the foundation of precision… precision without passion is CHAOS therefore loyalty, good communication, being open minded and understanding are ways that can take a relationship to a much higher level even if there is a certain amount of risk, but then again there is no better way to find out how two beautiful minds came together to stay together if it was meant to.

The only people who know best about a relationship are those who are involved in it and letting your emotions go is the only way to discover “True Love”.

"
Your posts are beautiful and full of passion and I seriously do not want to have the last word on this thread.... but just wanted to say you are so right, that the "relationship" only ever is between two people, swinging and fun and playtime happens outside the relationship.

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

[Removed by poster at 26/04/10 08:10:46]

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"[Removed by poster at 26/04/10 08:10:46]"

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It is in fact listening to these stories that I find fascinating as a confirmation that Love indeed is blind, no matter how much you try to ovoid it or stay away from it, it does happen when you least expect it and when it happens, you should grab your chance!

Timing is also very important, the story I am referring to is in fact on 2 particular situations of two different women: one is a vanilla woman who joins this site for curiosity and sexy fun, the other one a serious swinger with 3 years experience in swinging… both of them definitely NOT looking for a relationship BUT they find (through this website) 2 very nice guys who fall in love with her almost simultaneously, who are offering her the world on a plate and both are guys that she have strong feelings for… a decision has to be made… one way or the other (far from swinging!!) There are so many things she would do differently if she had the chance - but no-one can re-write the past - even the very recent past… someone has to get hurt!

Could this be avoided? Of course not… nobody of us intended or had the slightest idea that this would happen, NOT in a swinger website… so I am so happy to hear stories of those who have been so lucky to have had the time to work on what they thought it was a friendship worth pursuing, I know that feelings have to be high to be able to consider a relationship, it does not matter how many partners someone may have had prior to getting emotionally involved with someone or whether we are swingers or not! THERE IS NO FUTURE IN THE PAST!!!!

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"[Removed by poster at 18/04/10 14:27:48]

Pressed the send button too early, whoops...wanted to say this :

Perfect harmony and that is nice… but would you say for a first timer, is it wise to start swinging or going for the first time in a swinger club immediately after the end of a relationship? Swinging is all about having fun with people who do not judge you, but what if you use the scene as a “vendetta” or a way of reclaiming your own freedom would it be the best way to start?

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Let's just hope that the number of people who met and fell in love on here remains an even number...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's just hope that the number of people who met and fell in love on here remains an even number..."

A true mathematician

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's uneven... I self love every night!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"it's uneven... I self love every night!

Way to go girl!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Let's just hope that the number of people who met and fell in love on here remains an even number...

A true mathematician

Not at all, that's illogical.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's just hope that the number of people who met and fell in love on here remains an even number...

A true mathematician

Not at all, that's illogical."

how very dare you question me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i do that thing where I reply on the sent message thingy and message myself ...... I think... WOW ... I like her!!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"When i do that thing where I reply on the sent message thingy and message myself ...... I think... WOW ... I like her!!"

or him. It happens to him's as well. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love wasn't what we set out to find but are both damn glad it's what resulted. In order to receive love you have to give it. Unconditionally. And accept the possibility that you may get hurt.

We've both hurt others and been hurt ourselves.

But now we have both found safe harbour.

If that's not for you, then cool. Have fun and enjoy NSA. We've just been lucky. Hopefully everyone else will be as lucky whichever path they choose to take."

Thats exactly how it happened for us, we had both been hurt in our marriages but found happiness through another site. We have been together almost 3 years, moved in together after 6 months and got engaged last year.

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By *arlitos Way OP Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

Love wasn't what we set out to find but are both damn glad it's what resulted. In order to receive love you have to give it. Unconditionally. And accept the possibility that you may get hurt.

We've both hurt others and been hurt ourselves.

But now we have both found safe harbour.

If that's not for you, then cool. Have fun and enjoy NSA. We've just been lucky. Hopefully everyone else will be as lucky whichever path they choose to take.

Well done to both of you and congratulations! I like to hear of stories like that... any more please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When i do that thing where I reply on the sent message thingy and message myself ...... I think... WOW ... I like her!!

or him. It happens to him's as well. lol"

No you flat headed vegetable. If I message me ..it's HER.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When i do that thing where I reply on the sent message thingy and message myself ...... I think... WOW ... I like her!!

or him. It happens to him's as well. lol

No you flat headed vegetable. If I message me ..it's HER. "

He is no ordinary mushroom - he is an M & S mushroom - be appreciative, Granny

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"When i do that thing where I reply on the sent message thingy and message myself ...... I think... WOW ... I like her!!

or him. It happens to him's as well. lol

No you flat headed vegetable. If I message me ..it's HER.

He is no ordinary mushroom - he is an M & S mushroom - be appreciative, Granny

glad that was a typo, don't want everyone to know about our, oops i mean my, S & M tendencies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When i do that thing where I reply on the sent message thingy and message myself ...... I think... WOW ... I like her!!

or him. It happens to him's as well. lol

No you flat headed vegetable. If I message me ..it's HER.

He is no ordinary mushroom - he is an M & S mushroom - be appreciative, Granny

glad that was a typo, don't want everyone to know about our, oops i mean my, S & M tendencies"

you grow - I harvest?

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