FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

If you don't respond to this !!! Please .Thankyou . No Thanks.

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

.... then you are not behaving as the rose tinted spec wearers expect you to.

I've come across another thread today which suggests that good manners are in decline whilst also lamenting modern behaviour.

I usually just ignore them or do the general thing of giving advice , much as people have done today.

TODAY tho I felt DIFFERENTLY! I am so bewildered as to why people think that manners are in decline. I'd argue that they are not.

I do feel that people tend to latch on to a cliche and let it run without any true consideration of the subject or any knowledge; not even a molecule of thought and analysis.

Does everyone truly believe that in Victorian society the populace smiled sweetly at every other member and bade them good day? Do some forum posters overlook the injustices of class and divisions of snobbery not to mention indifferent cruelty.

Sometimes when i read posters whines I have a giggle thinking of neanderathals clubbing ( not pikeys at a disco you eeejuts ) a catch to death and grunting phrases like 'after you!' 'No my good fellow after you!'

I'll never forget Gengis Khans departing words to me. 'Thankyou and remember me to your mother!' such a nice man.

Consider this quote. It is attributed to Hesiod almost three thousand years ago. "I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the

frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise (by which he meant disrespectufl ) and impatient of restraint"

There are other quotes and gems the most famous being from Socrates and Plato who talk of the decline of respect and manners but I c.b.a to type them up at the moment. Probably because I lack the manners.

So over to you. Are manners really so bad? Do you care how your children behave toward others? Or are manners just something to boost your ego when you make them say please to YOU? What are your manners like? Who taught you manners and what manners do you exhibit that you have picked up yourself as being important ?

Tra xx Gran xx

P.S. What are good manners anyway? Words or actions ? Ever pushed into a queue and said hoitily . EX CUUUUZE ME! or snatched something from someone and said THANK YA OO ! Maybe people not replying IS good manners. Maybe just maybe they are avoiding telling you something you really DON'T want to hear.

Tra again xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus


".... then you are not behaving as the rose tinted spec wearers expect you to.

I've come across another thread today which suggests that good manners are in decline whilst also lamenting modern behaviour.

I usually just ignore them or do the general thing of giving advice , much as people have done today.

TODAY tho I felt DIFFERENTLY! I am so bewildered as to why people think that manners are in decline. I'd argue that they are not.

I do feel that people tend to latch on to a cliche and let it run without any true consideration of the subject or any knowledge; not even a molecule of thought and analysis.

Does everyone truly believe that in Victorian society the populace smiled sweetly at every other member and bade them good day? Do some forum posters overlook the injustices of class and divisions of snobbery not to mention indifferent cruelty.

Sometimes when i read posters whines I have a giggle thinking of neanderathals clubbing ( not pikeys at a disco you eeejuts ) a catch to death and grunting phrases like 'after you!' 'No my good fellow after you!'

I'll never forget Gengis Khans departing words to me. 'Thankyou and remember me to your mother!' such a nice man.

Consider this quote. It is attributed to Hesiod almost three thousand years ago. "I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the

frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise (by which he meant disrespectufl ) and impatient of restraint"

There are other quotes and gems the most famous being from Socrates and Plato who talk of the decline of respect and manners but I c.b.a to type them up at the moment. Probably because I lack the manners.

So over to you. Are manners really so bad? Do you care how your children behave toward others? Or are manners just something to boost your ego when you make them say please to YOU? What are your manners like? Who taught you manners and what manners do you exhibit that you have picked up yourself as being important ?

Tra xx Gran xx

P.S. What are good manners anyway? Words or actions ? Ever pushed into a queue and said hoitily . EX CUUUUZE ME! or snatched something from someone and said THANK YA OO ! Maybe people not replying IS good manners. Maybe just maybe they are avoiding telling you something you really DON'T want to hear.

Tra again xx "

Thank you Granny for those words of wisdom so early on a Sunday. I am bewildered with the complexity of it all but I do have to say....... Yes, would love to meet you, no your not a minger and yes, I'll happily fuck anything that moves

I love your cheery smile first thing in the morning and you delight me with your witicisms etc. etc. etc.

Or should I say what I was first thinking?

WTF????

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmmm, interesting topic Granny, may be a bit too heavy for a lazy Sunday morning, but who cares!

IMHO, and my own opinion alone, please feel free to agree or disagree, however, please do not jam your opinions down my throat blah blah blah...

I believe having good manners is a sign of respect for the individuals, and such respect should be taught from a very young age.

For examples:

Having good table manners is to show respect for other diners at the table.

Holding the door for the next person is a sign of respect for him/her.

Giving up your seat for people in need is a sign of respect for their needs being greater than yours.

Saying please and thank you is a sign of respect for bothering the other person.

etc...

IMHO, society is becoming more and more selfish, and people are having less consideration for others.

For instance:

Leaving a trolly in the middle of the car park signals "I am not returning this trolly to the trolly park, as they are peeps employed to collect trollies".

Throwing rubbish on the ground signals "I am keeping the road sweepers busy".

Pushing into front of a queue signals "I am more important than the rest of you muppets".

etc. etc...

Good manners come from the heart, IMHO, and can't be faked.

And yes, a person with good manners is more desirable to me than one that has no manners.

And I am not talking about good manners to me. It is good manners to everyone irespective of their race, religion or vocation, as I believe everyone deserves respect.

I do not like peeps who are mean to the so-called "little people" like those in the service industry. They too deserve our respect. Servicing other people is a tough job, try doing it yourself and see!

And I believe good manners does not relate to one's level of education or wealth, as I have encountered some wealthy and educated peeps with the manners of a pig.

As for replying to unsolicited messages?

I have it in black and white, right at the top of my profile that I do not have time for more playmates, or phone chat, or MSN chat, teas and coffees etc...

Yet, people still contact me out of the blue and ask me this and that. Some would even be so bold to insist on a reply!

My immediate reaction is usually in the line of "you can't have read my fecking profile that diligently so you can p1ss off!", and I would then press the delete button without remorse.

Rightly and wrongly, this is what I do. If peeps don't like it, you can bite me. However, you have to catch me first!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I agree with every word you say Pearl and I don't think people HAVE to reply to messages to prove they have manners.

My question was more of a general one about the supposed decline of manners though and not so much about swinging and this site.

Your ability to reply respectfully and lack of ego in your message is proof of your manners. xx Ta for that. Gran

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otswoldMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I can't resist a bit of boasting here because I can actually claim to be "verified as polite"!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ullo Madchick

I didn't quote cos it's too long.

I too am bewildered. Where did the meet me im a minger thing come from? I am smiling. Usually am. I have no idea what you were first thinking

x gran x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I can't resist a bit of boasting here because I can actually claim to be "verified as polite"! "

Well im going for a look at that!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So you are! A gentleman and polite.

So you tip your top hat whilst wiping on the curtains .

It's all subjective innit really x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree with every word you say Pearl and I don't think people HAVE to reply to messages to prove they have manners.

My question was more of a general one about the supposed decline of manners though and not so much about swinging and this site.

Your ability to reply respectfully and lack of ego in your message is proof of your manners. xx Ta for that. Gran "

.

Awwww, thank you, that's very kind of you!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

heavy topic or what!!!!!! and yes i do think manners are in decline.....takes no effort from me to be pleasant to ppl, some never had manners to begin with, but as they say takes all sorts, i just put it down to down right ignorance on their behalf and dont associate with ppl who dont have manners...... makes the world a brighter place to live in i think. nothing like a lovely smile to great you xxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

interesting post gran, thankyou !

I dont think manners today are any worse than at any other period in history. There will be those with, and those without ..but one major difference is the use of the media, particularly when wanting to (mis)represent sections of society. For example we get the reports all over the front pages of a lad urinating on a war memorial, but nothing about the girl in the same town whose been giving up her weekends to volunteer at the local day centre for the past 3 years.

i've tried to instill manners into my own children in the hope that they will grow up to be appropriately respectful to others ( not just those older than them ). I think its an important part of my role as a parent.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"heavy topic or what!!!!!! and yes i do think manners are in decline.....takes no effort from me to be pleasant to ppl, some never had manners to begin with, but as they say takes all sorts, i just put it down to down right ignorance on their behalf and dont associate with ppl who dont have manners...... makes the world a brighter place to live in i think. nothing like a lovely smile to great you xxxx "

Hi, Great answer. I don't socialise with those who lack manners either but I don't believe that manners are in decline merely that people maybe should extend the way they express their dislike of poor manners. It's an assumption that there was some kind of halcyon era where the whole time was spent bowing and curseying. Ha! I'd love to see that brought back. Haaaaa as if.

I don't think the topic is heavy at all. Maybe I just put it a little toooooooooooooo...whatever it is people find deep. It's crystal to me Thanks again for your response x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to think that my 3 children have been instilled with manners from an early age, they may not always show them to me but I can be confident that they show them to others.

Whenever any had sleep overs my friends usually said how good and polite they were.

Even my little grandson is a nice 'polite' little boy, there is always a place for good old fashioned family values.

I have found that if you treat a child with fairness and manners yourself they absorb, without even knowing they are being 'taught', it's a way of life.

If you expect a please, a thank you, or a may I? from children it's only fair to let them expect the same from you.

If a youngster were to offer me a seat on a bus I would accept it, not that I need it, but to affirm my appreciation of them showing good manners to me.

I am all for equality feminism etc. but to me, refusing a seat on a bus is not advancing or retarding the female liberation or encouraging oppression, it's just that, a seat on a bus and an affirmation of manners.

Nice post granny, good to get the little cells sparking and made me thankful for the lovely family I have, two of whom are now wonderful adults. xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

... Flame-proof clothing on!

Interesting point re: parental guidance raised by sprite.

Perhaps the need to work nowadays means less time for the parent(s) to spend with his/her/their children, which in turn, leads to decline in manners and possibly moral standards too!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"interesting post gran, thankyou !

I dont think manners today are any worse than at any other period in history. There will be those with, and those without ..but one major difference is the use of the media, particularly when wanting to (mis)represent sections of society. For example we get the reports all over the front pages of a lad urinating on a war memorial, but nothing about the girl in the same town whose been giving up her weekends to volunteer at the local day centre for the past 3 years.

i've tried to instill manners into my own children in the hope that they will grow up to be appropriately respectful to others ( not just those older than them ). I think its an important part of my role as a parent.

"

Fantastic and heartwarming reply Sprite! There can't be a more important role in society than being a parent and being a good example of respectful behaviour is paramount to harmonious living. Doesn't cost money to show kids how to have dignity does it?

Many thanks Sprite x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I like to think that my 3 children have been instilled with manners from an early age, they may not always show them to me but I can be confident that they show them to others.

Whenever any had sleep overs my friends usually said how good and polite they were.

Even my little grandson is a nice 'polite' little boy, there is always a place for good old fashioned family values.

I have found that if you treat a child with fairness and manners yourself they absorb, without even knowing they are being 'taught', it's a way of life.

If you expect a please, a thank you, or a may I? from children it's only fair to let them expect the same from you.

If a youngster were to offer me a seat on a bus I would accept it, not that I need it, but to affirm my appreciation of them showing good manners to me.

I am all for equality feminism etc. but to me, refusing a seat on a bus is not advancing or retarding the female liberation or encouraging oppression, it's just that, a seat on a bus and an affirmation of manners.

Nice post granny, good to get the little cells sparking and made me thankful for the lovely family I have, two of whom are now wonderful adults. xxx"

Great feelgood reply Laine! x I'm feeling really positive that manners are not at all in decline. With the oontent of these posts it seems there are many people carrying on the tradition of transmitting what is acceptable and what isn't.

Thanks for taking the time to share your views Laine. ( I still decline the 20 tho xxx )

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"... Flame-proof clothing on!

Interesting point re: parental guidance raised by sprite.

Perhaps the need to work nowadays means less time for the parent(s) to spend with his/her/their children, which in turn, leads to decline in manners and possibly moral standards too! "

Nice thinking Pearl. Long working hourse = moral decline? Devil's advocate here ... What was the average working day in Victorian times ? Help me! Just WHEN were the days when people haven't worked long hours?

Brilliant alternative view but I don't think it can be held up statistically. x Thanks again Pearl x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone


"... Flame-proof clothing on!

Interesting point re: parental guidance raised by sprite.

Perhaps the need to work nowadays means less time for the parent(s) to spend with his/her/their children, which in turn, leads to decline in manners and possibly moral standards too! "

maybe pearl, tho i've always worked full time and my younger son has autism too. With him its like teaching him a set of rules as he doenst always understand the meaning behind an action ( for example its a demonstration of respect etc ) He also struggles when other people dont follow the "rules" ..and i have to say the people most likely to let a door slam in his face, or not thank him for holding one are middle aged women, not other kids !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"... Flame-proof clothing on!

Interesting point re: parental guidance raised by sprite.

Perhaps the need to work nowadays means less time for the parent(s) to spend with his/her/their children, which in turn, leads to decline in manners and possibly moral standards too! "

My daughter is now a single parent, she works full time and pays exorbitant nursery fees for her child to allow her to work, but her time with my grandson really is quality time.

He has the same enduring family values she was raised with in a two parent family. They learn what they live with. xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooooft too much reading for my Sunday d*unken blinkers but all i can manage to say is manner cost nothing.

Now i am away back to my bed!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So over to you. Are manners really so bad? Do you care how your children behave toward others? Or are manners just something to boost your ego when you make them say please to YOU? What are your manners like? Who taught you manners and what manners do you exhibit that you have picked up yourself as being important ?

"

I don't think manners are bad, I do care how my child behaves,good manners do not boost my ego.

My manners are what I would describe as average, no better no worse. I learned manners from society, specifically my parents, my peers, and a tiny part from school (had I paid attention at school possibly more).

The last question I'll attempt to explain thus; The manners I exhibit come from by belief that we should treat others as we would expect to be treated ourselves, and as such I value the person I'm dealing with in a respectful and valuable way, as I would hope they would respect and value myself. If you dont value the person you are interacting with then it perhaps says more about yourself than them. The easy way to feel comfortable with using what society dictates as "good manners" is to imagine that you are on the receiving end and as such how would you feel?

If you don't value yourself then why would you expect others to be any different?

I feel sorry for those that display a lack of selfworth, by deliberately allowing the impression they give of themselves as an ignorant lout with no manners.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone


"I like to think that my 3 children have been instilled with manners from an early age, they may not always show them to me but I can be confident that they show them to others.

Whenever any had sleep overs my friends usually said how good and polite they were.

Even my little grandson is a nice 'polite' little boy, there is always a place for good old fashioned family values.

I have found that if you treat a child with fairness and manners yourself they absorb, without even knowing they are being 'taught', it's a way of life.

If you expect a please, a thank you, or a may I? from children it's only fair to let them expect the same from you.

If a youngster were to offer me a seat on a bus I would accept it, not that I need it, but to affirm my appreciation of them showing good manners to me.

I am all for equality feminism etc. but to me, refusing a seat on a bus is not advancing or retarding the female liberation or encouraging oppression, it's just that, a seat on a bus and an affirmation of manners.

Nice post granny, good to get the little cells sparking and made me thankful for the lovely family I have, two of whom are now wonderful adults. xxx

Great feelgood reply Laine! x I'm feeling really positive that manners are not at all in decline. With the oontent of these posts it seems there are many people carrying on the tradition of transmitting what is acceptable and what isn't.

Thanks for taking the time to share your views Laine. ( I still decline the 20 tho xxx ) "

totally agree with the point about affording young people the same respect and manners you expect from them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oooooft too much reading for my Sunday d*unken blinkers but all i can manage to say is manner cost nothing.

Now i am away back to my bed! "

It's 'I'm away to my bed. Thankyou!'

The Q was Are manners in decline. Not how much are they. Regards to your father xx Gran xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

as far as littering goes, my lads soon learnt for each piece i saw them drop they had to pick ten up ! Was quite effective

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oooooft too much reading for my Sunday d*unken blinkers but all i can manage to say is manner cost nothing.

Now i am away back to my bed!

It's 'I'm away to my bed. Thankyou!'

The Q was Are manners in decline. Not how much are they. Regards to your father xx Gran xx "

He he you make me laugh

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have seen parents using their need to work long hours to justify the wayward behaviours of their children. However, they are usually the ones that blame others for their own failings.

There are those who would do whatever they can, making huge sacrifices themselves, in order to provide the best environment for their children, and those parents are truly commendable, and I take my hat off to them!

Like the likes of sprite, laine, Granny etc...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

So over to you. Are manners really so bad? Do you care how your children behave toward others? Or are manners just something to boost your ego when you make them say please to YOU? What are your manners like? Who taught you manners and what manners do you exhibit that you have picked up yourself as being important ?

I don't think manners are bad, I do care how my child behaves,good manners do not boost my ego.

My manners are what I would describe as average, no better no worse. I learned manners from society, specifically my parents, my peers, and a tiny part from school (had I paid attention at school possibly more).

The last question I'll attempt to explain thus; The manners I exhibit come from by belief that we should treat others as we would expect to be treated ourselves, and as such I value the person I'm dealing with in a respectful and valuable way, as I would hope they would respect and value myself. If you dont value the person you are interacting with then it perhaps says more about yourself than them. The easy way to feel comfortable with using what society dictates as "good manners" is to imagine that you are on the receiving end and as such how would you feel?

If you don't value yourself then why would you expect others to be any different?

I feel sorry for those that display a lack of selfworth, by deliberately allowing the impression they give of themselves as an ignorant lout with no manners."

Thanks for that Nom. I really do feel good about you from what you are saying. And a bit dirty too

Sorry ! Great reply x your neighbours are fortunate x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

Strange isn't it I am always respectful and have brought up my kids to be the same. But like you say todays youth have different morals.

At work (NHS doh!) If approached by members of the public, I always refer to them as sir or madam if they appear to be in excess of 35 yrs old or so. The younger crowd can go fuck themselves. Too many times have I responded to Oi! wheres the +++++++++ only for them to be walking away as I am trying to give directions. But to get back to the question.

I always care to think of the quote 'manners maketh the man' and try to abide by it at all times.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have seen parents using their need to work long hours to justify the wayward behaviours of their children. However, they are usually the ones that blame others for their own failings.

There are those who would do whatever they can, making huge sacrifices themselves, in order to provide the best environment for their children, and those parents are truly commendable, and I take my hat off to them!

Like the likes of sprite, laine, Granny etc... "

Thank you Pearl.

For many working parents today a television becomes a 'nanny' while mum and dad are busy, I feel hours spent with the goggle box should be restricted and replaced, in part with 'parent time' and no that doesn't mean all sitting 'Royle family style' in front of the telly lol.

Can some of the trash they watch today be blamed for declining manners.... just a thought. xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always use manners, especially around our little one, and encourage him to use manners also.

The look on the elderly ladies faces when our little un says excuse me please when wanting to pass them, and thank you once he has tells me two things. 1) It delights them to see young children use such manners, and 2) IMO, Manners are not used by younger children so frequently now.

I say this because, there have been a good few elderly people pass our little un a coin, or offer us the coin, adding, 'oh it is nice to see young children use manners like that, I don't remember the last time I heard manners like that from a child'.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston

Hi all, interesting subject.

I believe that manners are directly linked to class, not social standing, but class. The sad fact is that having good manners takes effort, as does having class, and both are always in short supply when they are most needed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would agree entirely that whilst manners themselves are not any more or less prevalent than any other time, altruism and selflessness are in decline.

However I would suggest that the period between the end of WW1 and the 1980s where people seemed to have a greater sense of social repsonsibility was a blip rather than the norm and what we see in society now is humanity reverting to type.

I may be branded as a cynical and jaded old socialist but thank you for listening all the same

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Strange isn't it I am always respectful and have brought up my kids to be the same. But like you say todays youth have different morals.

At work (NHS doh!) If approached by members of the public, I always refer to them as sir or madam if they appear to be in excess of 35 yrs old or so. The younger crowd can go fuck themselves. Too many times have I responded to Oi! wheres the +++++++++ only for them to be walking away as I am trying to give directions. But to get back to the question.

I always care to think of the quote 'manners maketh the man' and try to abide by it at all times."

Thankyou for this response x ' The youngsters can go fuck themselves.' No one can disagree that with that example to follow we will get the society we worked for. xx Bless you for that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would agree entirely that whilst manners themselves are not any more or less prevalent than any other time, altruism and selflessness are in decline.

However I would suggest that the period between the end of WW1 and the 1980s where people seemed to have a greater sense of social repsonsibility was a blip rather than the norm and what we see in society now is humanity reverting to type.

I may be branded as a cynical and jaded old socialist but thank you for listening all the same "

Great insights Butternut! Thankyou for drawing the distinction between manners and altrusim to our attention. The intra/inter and post war period blip you speak of is an illustration painted by social historians. Futher evidence suggests that 'neighbours' would push past each other and indeed push each other out of air raid shelters to get a safe space. Altruism is at it's greatest when it can be afforded. A fantastic alternative view and food for thought though. Nice chest xx Gran xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Strange isn't it I am always respectful and have brought up my kids to be the same. But like you say todays youth have different morals.

At work (NHS doh!) If approached by members of the public, I always refer to them as sir or madam if they appear to be in excess of 35 yrs old or so. The younger crowd can go fuck themselves. Too many times have I responded to Oi! wheres the +++++++++ only for them to be walking away as I am trying to give directions. But to get back to the question.

I always care to think of the quote 'manners maketh the man' and try to abide by it at all times."

Sorry I have to respectfully disagree with you saying 'the youngsters can go fuck themselves'

I understand that working in NHS as you do may be a stressful and sometimes thankless job.

But it has been my experience that rowdy uncouth youths can often be quelled and 'brought to heel' with an overdose of politeness!

It seems to dredge up from who knows where some form of grudging manners from them in response!

Many over thirty-fives can be equally offensive, especially when d*unk and their baser actions come to the fore. xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The selfish, up their own arse educated and/or wealthy pigs I was referring to, were all over 35s!

And I know quite a few good kids under 30, all kids of my friends.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham


"The younger crowd can go fuck themselves"

One wonders why we have such a breakdown in society with communication

Some” people need educating, meaning someone has to take the lead, your opinion on some people is a fine example to follow.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The younger crowd can go fuck themselves

One wonders why we have such a breakdown in society with communication

Some” people need educating, meaning someone has to take the lead, your opinion on some people is a fine example to follow."

Dear Bi one Get one, May I respectfully draw your attention to the 'sarky I don't mean what i'm saying smily' best used for speaking through clenched teeth. Thankyou ever so much for your succinct yet welcome contribution. Every good wish for the fuckture xx Gran xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you aren't born with manners you are taught them.

My children were brought up knowing the difference between right and wrong the same as every body else's kids

At the same time they were also taught manners to say yes please, no thanks, all what we term the old fashioned value's

There are always going to be ungracious people always have been always will be it's a sad fact of life,

Just bring your kids up the way you where and I dont think they can go wrong.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all, interesting subject.

I believe that manners are directly linked to class, not social standing, but class. The sad fact is that having good manners takes effort, as does having class, and both are always in short supply when they are most needed.

"

I'm a born and raised council kid from some of the worst housing estates in Scotland, my two hard working parents had class by the bucketload.

I thank them for their patience and foresight with myself and my siblings, it lives on in their grandchildren and great grandchild. xxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham


"the 'sarky I don't mean what i'm saying smily' best used for speaking through clenched teeth"

Greeting grandma some phrases just happen to catch one's attention more than others

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmmm, I do not believe class has much to do with good manners IMHO, as I have come across those who are supposed to have class, yet, they belittle the little people!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all, interesting subject.

I believe that manners are directly linked to class, not social standing, but class. The sad fact is that having good manners takes effort, as does having class, and both are always in short supply when they are most needed.

I'm a born and raised council kid from some of the worst housing estates in Scotland, my two hard working parents had class by the bucketload.

I thank them for their patience and foresight with myself and my siblings, it lives on in their grandchildren and great grandchild. xxxx"

Laine, your parents did an excellent job.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

I believe manners are learnt, pure and simple. They are taught by parents and peers. If a child is brought up without these teachings how is he/she to know what is expected in society.

In my line of work I have to work/deal with the lowest to the highest forms of character. Guess what......I have found generally that, the lowest expect assistance without gratitude AND the highest expect assistance without gratitude. This has never altered over the last 30yrs I have been doing my job. So in answer to your question, NO I don't think manners are in decline BUT I do think respect for other people is but that is another subject.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I.M.NVH.O The poster who says manners are related to class doesn't mean a class system or hierarchy but the simple fact that classy people are mannsers savvy. They don't say that the upper class have them and the underclasses don't. Just that manners are CLASS .... That's the way I read it anyway ...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

[Removed by poster at 21/02/10 13:35:59]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance


"Hi all, interesting subject.

I believe that manners are directly linked to class, not social standing, but class. The sad fact is that having good manners takes effort, as does having class, and both are always in short supply when they are most needed.

I'm a born and raised council kid from some of the worst housing estates in Scotland, my two hard working parents had class by the bucketload.

I thank them for their patience and foresight with myself and my siblings, it lives on in their grandchildren and great grandchild. xxxx"

A BIG UP to them and yourself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I.M.NVH.O The poster who says manners are related to class doesn't mean a class system or hierarchy but the simple fact that classy people are mannsers savvy. They don't say that the upper class have them and the underclasses don't. Just that manners are CLASS .... That's the way I read it anyway ... "

hmmmmm, Interesting point Granny, is it possible to have no manners and yet have class, is it possible to have no class and yet have manners?

It brought to mind a book I read on the Kray twins, they had an obsession regarding manners. I would still suggest they had manners but skewed in such a way as to fit their temperaments.

In the very narrow confines of the "class" (psychotic criminals) do others in that class regard them as classy? Perhaps.

Class without manners, I cant think of an example of that,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance


"I.M.NVH.O The poster who says manners are related to class doesn't mean a class system or hierarchy but the simple fact that classy people are mannsers savvy. They don't say that the upper class have them and the underclasses don't. Just that manners are CLASS .... That's the way I read it anyway ...

hmmmmm, Interesting point Granny, is it possible to have no manners and yet have class, is it possible to have no class and yet have manners?

It brought to mind a book I read on the Kray twins, they had an obsession regarding manners. I would still suggest they had manners but skewed in such a way as to fit their temperaments.

In the very narrow confines of the "class" (psychotic criminals) do others in that class regard them as classy? Perhaps.

Class without manners, I cant think of an example of that, "

Some, not all of the arrogant rich

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I.M.NVH.O The poster who says manners are related to class doesn't mean a class system or hierarchy but the simple fact that classy people are mannsers savvy. They don't say that the upper class have them and the underclasses don't. Just that manners are CLASS .... That's the way I read it anyway ... "

.

If I read it your way, then yes, I too agree classy people have better manners, as classy people know how to respect other people. IMHO of course!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I decry my parents for many things they did when I was a child that I feel was wrong and I refused to do the same when I had my children, but some things I do agree on is "manners cos nothing but bring big rewards" and "please will get you almost anything" also "treat others as you wish to be treated"

I had my eldest child at 18 I worked long hours and was often shattered when I got home BUT I still have 2 very polite and well mannered children, why?? cos I spent time teaching them and treating them the way I wanted them to treat me.

I get backchat (name me a parent who doesnt??) BUT when out and about my girls know better than to show me up cos I will show them up much worse than anything they can do, they will hold open doors say please and thank you excuse me, will not barge past someone, no matter the other persons age or gender, they do not scream obsenities not swear. And they have a healthy fear of what will mum and dad say if I was caught doing that so dont do it!!!

We are lucky to live in a small town where everyone knows who you are and who your parents are so that does help, cos if my girls were to do something they arent allowed to do I know I will be told before they have finished doing it.

People also know if they come to my door saying my child has done something (and can prove it) I will deal ith it properly not just stand there saying naff off and get a life - even tho some do need to get a life and not spy on all the neighbours

I think thats where we (parents) have been going wrong we do not value our neighbours and family and friends, in their role of helping us become who and what we would rather become in life.

I could go on but I have to take my youngest to a party where I know the parents will be harrassed but happy with all the well mannered and polite children

Shona

x x x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Class without manners, I cant think of an example of that,

Some, not all of the arrogant rich"

I don't equate money with class, I know some very very wealthy people who have no class, I also know some very very classy people who have little or no money.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My parents were very strict with us when we were growing up, and we were not allowed to attend social functions until we knew how to behave ourselves and had sufficient social grace to do so.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Class without manners, I cant think of an example of that,

Some, not all of the arrogant rich

I don't equate money with class, I know some very very wealthy people who have no class, I also know some very very classy people who have little or no money."

Hmmmmm I can see you fitting snugly into one of those categories Nom...... ufortunately for you I'm afer cash !!

Next !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Class without manners, I cant think of an example of that,

Some, not all of the arrogant rich

I don't equate money with class, I know some very very wealthy people who have no class, I also know some very very classy people who have little or no money."

.

Agree totally!!!

I doubt many people who call Jordan/Katie Price or Heather Mills classy!!! MEOW!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its been recorded by those who investigated horrendous crimes that serial killers etc were polite, had good manners etc..

Im presuming that it was to further their crimes.

Its much easier to obtain what you want with good manners.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Class without manners, I cant think of an example of that,

Some, not all of the arrogant rich

I don't equate money with class, I know some very very wealthy people who have no class, I also know some very very classy people who have little or no money.

Hmmmmm I can see you fitting snugly into one of those categories Nom...... ufortunately for you I'm afer cash !!

Next ! "

awwwwwwwww,Are you suggesting I have no class ???

*** inconsolable tears ***

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Class without manners, I cant think of an example of that,

Some, not all of the arrogant rich

I don't equate money with class, I know some very very wealthy people who have no class, I also know some very very classy people who have little or no money.

Hmmmmm I can see you fitting snugly into one of those categories Nom...... ufortunately for you I'm afer cash !!

Next !

awwwwwwwww,Are you suggesting I have no class ???

*** inconsolable tears *** "

Awwwwwwwww hugs plums

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Awwwwwwwww hugs plums "

Thanks sexy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston


"I.M.NVH.O The poster who says manners are related to class doesn't mean a class system or hierarchy but the simple fact that classy people are mannsers savvy. They don't say that the upper class have them and the underclasses don't. Just that manners are CLASS .... That's the way I read it anyway ... "

Absolutely, Granny that is exactly what I meant.

As for the comments about the Krays and other criminal psychotics, class and manners have nothing to do criminality, nor does money or social class. Although I would suggest that intelligence and education (which are different to schooling) probably are.

I would further say that there is a simple reason for the “blip” in social conscience from the end of the First World War and the 80’s.

That is that during that period the merchant princes of the capitalist world realised that in order to keep power (power is money is power) that they needed to give the rest of us the illusion of sharing in their wealth in order to destroy the threat to their position of dominance that was the USSR. By the late 70’s early 80’s it was obvious that the USSR its satellites and client states had failed and were in their death throws and therefore the merchants could reclaim the wealth and power that they had leant to the rest of us.

But I digress, sorry Granny, please forgive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

manners to me personally were taught in the home in the very first stages of socialisation.

if we asked for something we had to say please or thanks ie haw maw can i get a biscuit?? please? and thanks maw. simple ones but still use them to this day and have done the same with my kid.

we had to wash our hands before we sat down to dinner still do!! and use the correct cutlery and manners ie haw pass the salt!

outside the home it was the usual ones holdin doors , givin up seats on buses for elderly disabled infirm or pregnant ladies ! it was just the way we were we were poor but had manners!!

i still say hello to checkout operators waiters or bar staff and please and thanks or excuse me and make sure kiddo does same!

basic manners cost nothing even if the person you holding the door for stands on your bloody foot!! xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"manners to me personally were taught in the home in the very first stages of socialisation.

"

.

Just like pets, IMHO!

My dog was well socialised from an early age, and he is a gentleman.

Not sure if my cat was well socialised or not when she was young, as I had her when she was 2 and half years old, and already had a litter of kitten. She is definitely a lady though!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"manners to me personally were taught in the home in the very first stages of socialisation.

if we asked for something we had to say please or thanks ie haw maw can i get a biscuit?? please? and thanks maw. simple ones but still use them to this day and have done the same with my kid.

we had to wash our hands before we sat down to dinner still do!! and use the correct cutlery and manners ie haw pass the salt!

outside the home it was the usual ones holdin doors , givin up seats on buses for elderly disabled infirm or pregnant ladies ! it was just the way we were we were poor but had manners!!

i still say hello to checkout operators waiters or bar staff and please and thanks or excuse me and make sure kiddo does same!

basic manners cost nothing even if the person you holding the door for stands on your bloody foot!! xx"

I would normally say 'haw pass the salt please'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"manners to me personally were taught in the home in the very first stages of socialisation.

if we asked for something we had to say please or thanks ie haw maw can i get a biscuit?? please? and thanks maw. simple ones but still use them to this day and have done the same with my kid.

we had to wash our hands before we sat down to dinner still do!! and use the correct cutlery and manners ie haw pass the salt!

outside the home it was the usual ones holdin doors , givin up seats on buses for elderly disabled infirm or pregnant ladies ! it was just the way we were we were poor but had manners!!

i still say hello to checkout operators waiters or bar staff and please and thanks or excuse me and make sure kiddo does same!

basic manners cost nothing even if the person you holding the door for stands on your bloody foot!! xx

I would normally say 'haw pass the salt please'

"

see you are clever you picked up the deliberate mistake!!!

gold watch to that man please!! thanks!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I.M.NVH.O The poster who says manners are related to class doesn't mean a class system or hierarchy but the simple fact that classy people are mannsers savvy. They don't say that the upper class have them and the underclasses don't. Just that manners are CLASS .... That's the way I read it anyway ...

Absolutely, Granny that is exactly what I meant.

As for the comments about the Krays and other criminal psychotics, class and manners have nothing to do criminality, nor does money or social class. Although I would suggest that intelligence and education (which are different to schooling) probably are.

I would further say that there is a simple reason for the “blip” in social conscience from the end of the First World War and the 80’s.

That is that during that period the merchant princes of the capitalist world realised that in order to keep power (power is money is power) that they needed to give the rest of us the illusion of sharing in their wealth in order to destroy the threat to their position of dominance that was the USSR. By the late 70’s early 80’s it was obvious that the USSR its satellites and client states had failed and were in their death throws and therefore the merchants could reclaim the wealth and power that they had leant to the rest of us.

But I digress, sorry Granny, please forgive.

"

Young man everything is forgiveable except a Google x Good reply. I disgaree with you and agree with the poster who juxtaposed the norms and mores of the criminal world with respect and manners. Such men as the Krays believe themselves to be honourable gentleman who would cut you down for so much as forgetting your p's and q's in the presence of their mothers. Gran xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"manners to me personally were taught in the home in the very first stages of socialisation.

if we asked for something we had to say please or thanks ie haw maw can i get a biscuit?? please? and thanks maw. simple ones but still use them to this day and have done the same with my kid.

we had to wash our hands before we sat down to dinner still do!! and use the correct cutlery and manners ie haw pass the salt!

outside the home it was the usual ones holdin doors , givin up seats on buses for elderly disabled infirm or pregnant ladies ! it was just the way we were we were poor but had manners!!

i still say hello to checkout operators waiters or bar staff and please and thanks or excuse me and make sure kiddo does same!

basic manners cost nothing even if the person you holding the door for stands on your bloody foot!! xx

I would normally say 'haw pass the salt please'

see you are clever you picked up the deliberate mistake!!!

gold watch to that man please!! thanks! "

See am no just a pretty face. I may come across as a daftie but i do have a brain too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Class without manners, I cant think of an example of that,

Some, not all of the arrogant rich

I don't equate money with class, I know some very very wealthy people who have no class, I also know some very very classy people who have little or no money.

Hmmmmm I can see you fitting snugly into one of those categories Nom...... ufortunately for you I'm afer cash !!

Next !

awwwwwwwww,Are you suggesting I have no class ???

*** inconsolable tears *** "

Nooooooooooo you numpty ( respectfully numpty ) I meant you were penniless

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston


"Young man everything is forgiveable except a Google x Good reply. I disgaree with you and agree with the poster who juxtaposed the norms and mores of the criminal world with respect and manners. Such men as the Krays believe themselves to be honourable gentleman who would cut you down for so much as forgetting your p's and q's in the presence of their mothers. Gran xxx "

Hi again Granny, I think this may be a case of crossed wires due to semantics.

I would respectfully suggest that the Krays use of violence and the reasons that no matter how trivial that would cause such outbursts when not related to “business”, ie your example of dropping a social faux pha in front of their mother, is to do with their twisted moral code and way of thinking rather than their class and manners.

I would further suggest that there have been many cases through history of people who have used their innate class and good manners to control their violent urges. Of course this is only my opinion.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughty_kittyWoman
over a year ago

finger licking good


"Young man everything is forgiveable except a Google x Good reply. I disgaree with you and agree with the poster who juxtaposed the norms and mores of the criminal world with respect and manners. Such men as the Krays believe themselves to be honourable gentleman who would cut you down for so much as forgetting your p's and q's in the presence of their mothers. Gran xxx

Hi again Granny, I think this may be a case of crossed wires due to semantics.

I would respectfully suggest that the Krays use of violence and the reasons that no matter how trivial that would cause such outbursts when not related to “business”, ie your example of dropping a social faux pha in front of their mother, is to do with their twisted moral code and way of thinking rather than their class and manners.

I would further suggest that there have been many cases through history of people who have used their innate class and good manners to control their violent urges. Of course this is only my opinion.

"

talking of the Krays i was in the pub and was speaking to one of their cuz (or some sort of relaiotn forgot)he was well old and very nice tho. said he wished he was 30 years younger lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston


"

See am no just a pretty face. I may come across as a daftie but i do have a brain too "

One careful owner, good condition for its age, low mileage and good bodywork!

LoL

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top