FabSwingers.com forum: Holding a grudge!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you hold a grudge if someone pisses you off in some way, be that in 'real life' or on the forums?.

Does that depend on what they mean to you in the first place?.

I can hold a grudge if I'm honest, but it has to be something that gets my back up.

in case you was wondering, the domestic abuse thread brought this question, I hold a serious grudge towards a guy that hurts a friends mum.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do and i dont....

I dont waste anger and get all riled up on a daily basis..

But if someone has done me a major wrong, i will not forget and will totally blank them onwards .

WOuldnt do it on the forums though, lifes to bloody short .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont tend to hold grudges, but understand your stance about your friends mom.

If someone upsets me I try to sort it and move on if I can

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

no,but sometimes a situation where that may occur will cause me to walk away and be unable to return to it .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In real life, I very much do. Well I suppose it's not a grudge as such. If someone royally pisses me off, they simply cease to exist as far as I'm concerned. It's a bit like the block button on here, I guess I kind of have one in real life

Difference is, there's no unblock for the one out here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In real life, I very much do. Well I suppose it's not a grudge as such. If someone royally pisses me off, they simply cease to exist as far as I'm concerned. It's a bit like the block button on here, I guess I kind of have one in real life

Difference is, there's no unblock for the one out here

My sentiments entirely, in reality I use the block delete from my life approach. In the forums it's not personal so I usually just pass on it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dont tend to hold grudges, but understand your stance about your friends mom.

If someone upsets me I try to sort it and move on if I can

oh, he's in no doubt how I feel, lol

He shouts everyone down and tries to belittle and bully them, stoopid git tried it on me, I was well behaved and allowed him to throw the first punch, I was sitting with a child on my knee at the time, then I stood up, marched him out of the room, and let him know my feelings, he can't look at me now.

This is a couple of year ago mind.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends for me. If it is someone on line and they repeatedly try and wind people up on here I think what a pratt and I will avoid them. But if it gets personally nasty to me then I will hold a grudge and let them know it. In real life then its easier to see someone eye to eye and sort things out before it gets to that stage. It takes a bit to get me there but I am no different to most people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I might 'agree to disagree' or 'live and let live' however I rarely forget and whatever it is will rarely be far from the front of my mind when I see them or have to deal with them again.

This is in real life.

In forum land I generally get over it (or myself

) and move on more easily.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Yes I am a grudge barer… BUT you have to do something really god damn low to get me into grudge mode. Once someone gets themselves into my grudge book I never forget. There are probably fewer people in my grudge book than some may expect… like I said they have to do something really shite to get there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It all depends for me. If it is someone on line and they repeatedly try and wind people up on here I think what a pratt and I will avoid them. But if it gets personally nasty to me then I will hold a grudge and let them know it. In real life then its easier to see someone eye to eye and sort things out before it gets to that stage. It takes a bit to get me there but I am no different to most people."

Yes its easier to reason face to face isnt it? I like to look the person in the eye who is having a go at me to see if theyre worth having any form of emotion over

You're right online prats can get your goat until you put it into perspective which means I can't hold a grudge really, as theyre obviously lacking something if they need to be an online prat. I too avoid them and also never acknowledge they exist if they try to get in my face. I just sit and observe their behaviour for a while and you see the same pattern emerging on this and other sites.

It usually involves people behaving a little like sheep with an obvious ringleader that these puppet sheep are trying to please. Therefore its not personal if youre on the receiving end, you just happen to be this weeks victim. But it is a form of bullying and I don't like to see it. Grudges are a waste of emotion because I believe what goes around comes around and as you rightly say, most people think your (our) way, which I'd much rather make note of, as it has a positive effect to know others have an independent opinion online and dont need approval to interact.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

on line i just forget and let it pass

but in the real world i tend to get even in the long run

my ex boss in the garage still does not know how the vat and tax man found out about his scams

they went back years cost him a fortune

teach him to shit on me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"on line i just forget and let it pass

but in the real world i tend to get even in the long run

my ex boss in the garage still does not know how the vat and tax man found out about his scams

they went back years cost him a fortune

teach him to shit on me "

Like yer thinking! and ha ha on him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah cant be arsed with grudges they waste my time, if someone pisses me off to the extent that I would wanna hold a grudge they cease to exist in my thinking.

At my age I have to be carefull how many brain cells I use and wont waste them on people I dont like.

Friends and people make mistakes, just like me, stop think, do I want to lose thier friendship, no then forgive and forget.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Nah cant be arsed with grudges they waste my time, if someone pisses me off to the extent that I would wanna hold a grudge they cease to exist in my thinking.

At my age I have to be carefull how many brain cells I use and wont waste them on people I dont like.

Friends and people make mistakes, just like me, stop think, do I want to lose thier friendship, no then forgive and forget."

Agree totally with you on this one Jed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very long standing "friend" of mine and i use the term "friend" loosely..

Shat on me for years on and off.

I have got to the point now that i know longer care and do feel that what goes around comes around.

She is now friendless and ill and only her put upon daughter taking the brunt of it.

Im still chatting to daughter so know whats going on. and i dont have feelings either way.

Daughter also knows that IF her mom was to knock on my door seeking help, i would give it.

But then i would do that for anyone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

Holding a grudge is not healthy, all it does is fester away inside, eventually reaching boiling point, some people can be very cruel with their words / actions, the art is not allowing them to get under one's skin.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A very long standing "friend" of mine and i use the term "friend" loosely..

Shat on me for years on and off.

I have got to the point now that i know longer care and do feel that what goes around comes around.

She is now friendless and ill and only her put upon daughter taking the brunt of it.

Im still chatting to daughter so know whats going on. and i dont have feelings either way.

Daughter also knows that IF her mom was to knock on my door seeking help, i would give it.

But then i would do that for anyone.

I know where youre coming from. Sometimes arguments are so long ago you cant even recall with any clarity where it went wrong. Just that youve fallen out. The last time I saw someone I hadnt spoken to for years because of some long forgotten spat, I just simply said hello how are you and smiled (we couldnt avoid it really because we were both out for a walk and approaching each other rapidly, enough to gather thoughts of how to handle it) however she totally ignored me!! Oh dear.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ishful.thinkingWoman
over a year ago

east london

For the most part I don’t have the emotional or physical energy for it and apart from that I rarely remember what it was about in the first place.

It can become difficult especially when some time has passed to make things right. Fell out with my best friend a year ago over something stupid and left it so long that I now don’t know how to make it right, she tried I sulked and now I miss her every day – sad no?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to think I didn't hold grudges but I do alas. Bobby Stokes, 1976, FA Cup Final, Manchester United -v- Southampton. Bastard. He died a few years ago. Twat. hehehe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Do you hold a grudge if someone pisses you off in some way, be that in 'real life' or on the forums?.

Does that depend on what they mean to you in the first place?.

I can hold a grudge if I'm honest, but it has to be something that gets my back up.

in case you was wondering, the domestic abuse thread brought this question, I hold a serious grudge towards a guy that hurts a friends mum. "
too fecking right i do........

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you hold a grudge if someone pisses you off in some way, be that in 'real life' or on the forums?.

Does that depend on what they mean to you in the first place?.

I can hold a grudge if I'm honest, but it has to be something that gets my back up.

in case you was wondering, the domestic abuse thread brought this question, I hold a serious grudge towards a guy that hurts a friends mum. too fecking right i do........

Cowers, thinking there's more to that comment than meets the eye.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dear old dad never spoke to his brothers and sisters for about 20yrs over something so bloody silly.

I doubt he could have told you what it was all about. ?

He was a good hearted kind and respectful man who never wished harm on anyone but he was the most stubborn man i ever met.

When he dies not one of them was at his funeral because they didnt think he would have wanted it.

How sad is that eh.

I see my relatives all the time and the one regret they all have is that they would have made amends.

then it was to late.

And.got a brother who is doing exactly the same bloody thing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Difference is, there's no unblock for the one out here

Same here really, if someone 'crosses me' or upsets me or mine, I’ll not have anything to do with them again, very black and white. I would never actively seek out revenge as such, but I don't forget, and if the opportunity to get even arose just through normal happenings, be it a day, month, year whatever later, then I would take it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"My dear old dad never spoke to his brothers and sisters for about 20yrs over something so bloody silly.

I doubt he could have told you what it was all about. ?

He was a good hearted kind and respectful man who never wished harm on anyone but he was the most stubborn man i ever met.

When he dies not one of them was at his funeral because they didnt think he would have wanted it.

How sad is that eh.

I see my relatives all the time and the one regret they all have is that they would have made amends.

then it was to late.

And.got a brother who is doing exactly the same bloody thing

I haven't spoken to my brother for 8 years and I've got two nieces I've never seen.

I hold a grudge and I'll admit it....... but it takes a huge amount of being shit on, to push me to that limit.

Otherwise, I just get pissy and plot my revenge quietly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

revenge is a dish best served cold

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Do you hold a grudge if someone pisses you off in some way, be that in 'real life' or on the forums?.

Does that depend on what they mean to you in the first place?.

I can hold a grudge if I'm honest, but it has to be something that gets my back up.

in case you was wondering, the domestic abuse thread brought this question, I hold a serious grudge towards a guy that hurts a friends mum. too fecking right i do........

Cowers, thinking there's more to that comment than meets the eye.

"
why should you cower?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughty_kittyWoman
over a year ago

finger licking good

forum or real life, if ya have pissed me off i aint gonna lick arse and forgot. i find it much more fun annoying that person or in my case personS

the reactions i get on the forum for even daring to post sometimes makes me laugh... and why? cos i aint a sheep i do my own thing, if i row i row i dont i dont.

but lick arse and make up when someone has disrespected me? naaaaa i dont like the easy life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

I read an interesting quote by John Prescotts wife after she found out he had an affair. She said she handn't forgiven him as to forgive would be to condone.

I think if someone had done something to me in the heat of the moment i would forgive, but if it was premeditated then maybe i would bear a grudge, as i have with a few people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you hold a grudge if someone pisses you off in some way, be that in 'real life' or on the forums?.

Does that depend on what they mean to you in the first place?.

I can hold a grudge if I'm honest, but it has to be something that gets my back up.

in case you was wondering, the domestic abuse thread brought this question, I hold a serious grudge towards a guy that hurts a friends mum. "

Life is too short so i just smile at the pc warriors as they are not worth bothering with. In real life though you have to stand up for your self or you get walked all over.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"In real life though you have to stand up for your self or you get walked all over."

Not always, depends on who one comes onto contact with

not everyone is an ar*ehole

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you hold a grudge if someone pisses you off in some way, be that in 'real life' or on the forums?.

Does that depend on what they mean to you in the first place?.

I can hold a grudge if I'm honest, but it has to be something that gets my back up.

in case you was wondering, the domestic abuse thread brought this question, I hold a serious grudge towards a guy that hurts a friends mum. too fecking right i do........

Cowers, thinking there's more to that comment than meets the eye.

why should you cower?

I dunno, just got a shiver down my spine when I read your post.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

online i dont care!

in real life i can hold a grudge really well but it takes a lot to get me to that stage but when you do it aint pretty!!

it can be petty as the time in a loo and heard the dulcet tones of a cow i worked with sayin to her pal she was goin to have the shits as her tummy was dodgy.....

so i took the toilet roll out the holder and put it in my bag and walked out!! simple but effective!!! xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may be able to forgive, however, I seldom forget!

I prefer to walk away and not to look back whenever possible.

Life is too short to waste my valuable time and energy on people that I do not care much about!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"online i dont care!

in real life i can hold a grudge really well but it takes a lot to get me to that stage but when you do it aint pretty!!

it can be petty as the time in a loo and heard the dulcet tones of a cow i worked with sayin to her pal she was goin to have the shits as her tummy was dodgy.....

so i took the toilet roll out the holder and put it in my bag and walked out!! simple but effective!!! xx

LMAO

Like it......

nearly wrote lik it then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"online i dont care!

in real life i can hold a grudge really well but it takes a lot to get me to that stage but when you do it aint pretty!!

it can be petty as the time in a loo and heard the dulcet tones of a cow i worked with sayin to her pal she was goin to have the shits as her tummy was dodgy.....

so i took the toilet roll out the holder and put it in my bag and walked out!! simple but effective!!! xx

LMAO

Like it......

nearly wrote lik it then

I'm sure there must be someone on here who would lick it lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you hold a grudge if someone pisses you off in some way, be that in 'real life' or on the forums?.

Does that depend on what they mean to you in the first place?.

I can hold a grudge if I'm honest, but it has to be something that gets my back up.

in case you was wondering, the domestic abuse thread brought this question, I hold a serious grudge towards a guy that hurts a friends mum. "

I used to be terrible at holding grudges and the smallest thing could set me off ignoring people for weeks. Then I decided that life was far too short to worry about such things, so these days I either ignore whatever it was or get even

And the latter is SOOOO much more fun most of the time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have done, i once worked with a guy that had one of those weird sense of humours, dry or sarcastic, i could never tell whether he was being serious or joking, he drove me mad as he seemed to constantly ridicule me, when he left, all the staff went for a meal but i refused to go.

I also hold grudges towards all those nasty people that think making fun, name calling people is a great joke and that cos i aint Miss World, it doesnt matter

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guy hit me over the head with a bottle 27 years ago and I will get him back one day, no doubt about it.

So I suppose the answer to your question is yes!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well it takes far too much energy to hold a grudge, energy that could be put too much better use.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"I guy hit me over the head with a bottle 27 years ago and I will get him back one day, no doubt about it.

27 years is a long time to hold a grudge, it's natural reaction to harm those who've hurt us, but 27 years, gee, that is some grudge

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

Love the question is so soooooooooooooo interesting what people have put and what others have avoided putting. Would i? Well its more fun finding out I always think when you meet someone you have pissed of. Nothing like a bit of excitement and an adrenalin rush

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guy hit me over the head with a bottle 27 years ago and I will get him back one day, no doubt about it.

27 years is a long time to hold a grudge, it's natural reaction to harm those who've hurt us, but 27 years, gee, that is some grudge

I like to take my time, that way he won't associate it with me when he gets battered!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"I guy hit me over the head with a bottle 27 years ago and I will get him back one day, no doubt about it.

27 years is a long time to hold a grudge, it's natural reaction to harm those who've hurt us, but 27 years, gee, that is some grudge

I like to take my time, that way he won't associate it with me when he gets battered!"

Violence breeds violence, if it gives you some sort of satisfaction, so be it, I never have and never will understand thuggish violence

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guy hit me over the head with a bottle 27 years ago and I will get him back one day, no doubt about it.

27 years is a long time to hold a grudge, it's natural reaction to harm those who've hurt us, but 27 years, gee, that is some grudge

I like to take my time, that way he won't associate it with me when he gets battered!

Violence breeds violence, if it gives you some sort of satisfaction, so be it, I never have and never will understand thuggish violence

Well seeing as it's taken 27 years already I think you can assume I may wait another 27.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

[Removed by poster at 15/02/10 23:17:25]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"I guy hit me over the head with a bottle 27 years ago and I will get him back one day, no doubt about it.

27 years is a long time to hold a grudge, it's natural reaction to harm those who've hurt us, but 27 years, gee, that is some grudge

I like to take my time, that way he won't associate it with me when he gets battered!

Violence breeds violence, if it gives you some sort of satisfaction, so be it, I never have and never will understand thuggish violence

Well seeing as it's taken 27 years already I think you can assume I may wait another 27......."

Please don't be offended the following comment is not intended to be, I just hope you can find it within yourself to move on, some people really don't deserve having energy wasted on them, honestly, they really don't, however, each to their own

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"I guy hit me over the head with a bottle 27 years ago and I will get him back one day, no doubt about it.

27 years is a long time to hold a grudge, it's natural reaction to harm those who've hurt us, but 27 years, gee, that is some grudge

I like to take my time, that way he won't associate it with me when he gets battered!

Violence breeds violence, if it gives you some sort of satisfaction, so be it, I never have and never will understand thuggish violence

Well seeing as it's taken 27 years already I think you can assume I may wait another 27......."

The problem is if your about to what the geezer and be nops you with a bottle again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guy hit me over the head with a bottle 27 years ago and I will get him back one day, no doubt about it.

27 years is a long time to hold a grudge, it's natural reaction to harm those who've hurt us, but 27 years, gee, that is some grudge

I like to take my time, that way he won't associate it with me when he gets battered!

Violence breeds violence, if it gives you some sort of satisfaction, so be it, I never have and never will understand thuggish violence

Well seeing as it's taken 27 years already I think you can assume I may wait another 27.......

No offence taken and I am not a violent man, I just can't believe I let him get away with it for so long, hey ho!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It always makes me smile when people say they don't hold a grudge on a PC when it is obvious for all to see that it does.

But for me, someone would have to do something really bad to me before I held a grudge and I have never found anyone who has yet.

On the other hand if someone did something really bad to one of my kids ( adults really) the grudge would probably be held for a long time.

Mr R is so laid back, there is no way he would hold a grudge.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

"I may be able to forgive, however, I seldom forget!

I prefer to walk away and not to look back whenever possible.

Life is too short to waste my valuable time and energy on people that I do not care much about!

"
well said

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

"on line i just forget and let it pass

but in the real world i tend to get even in the long run

my ex boss in the garage still does not know how the vat and tax man found out about his scams

they went back years cost him a fortune

teach him to shit on me "

Lets hope he's not a Fabswinger!!!!! cos he will now if he is D'oh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my brothers not spoke to me over an argument I then apologized for nearly 20 years ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread