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"No, this seems absurd. Does not wanting to date a lesbian make you homophobic? " It does if you’re a woman looking to date women | |||
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"Not wanting to date bi or gay men isn't homophobic. Rattling off abuse at bi or gay men is homophobic. It's the phobic part of it that counts, as in fear or hatred. I don't have any problem with straight guys who aren't interested sexually, but a big one with anyone who actively tries to diss my or anybody else's choices. " This 👆 | |||
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"It probably is homophobic, if it’s a blanket no to all bi men. It is also a preference that some people have. They need to own that it’s probably a homophobic preference." How is it homophobic to not want to date someone you don’t want to date ? Isn’t that a basic right? Ridiculous statement. | |||
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"Not wanting to date bi or gay men isn't homophobic. Rattling off abuse at bi or gay men is homophobic. It's the phobic part of it that counts, as in fear or hatred. I don't have any problem with straight guys who aren't interested sexually, but a big one with anyone who actively tries to diss my or anybody else's choices. " A heterosexual man not wanting to date or have sex with gay or bi men is in no way homophobic. It’s not their sexual interest. But a woman looking to date or have sex with men who refuses to do so with bisexual men is expressing, imo, a homophobic preference. | |||
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"It probably is homophobic, if it’s a blanket no to all bi men. It is also a preference that some people have. They need to own that it’s probably a homophobic preference. How is it homophobic to not want to date someone you don’t want to date ? Isn’t that a basic right? Ridiculous statement. " I have explained further in another reply. I think it is homphobic for women looking to date men to refuse all bisexual men on the basis of their sexuality | |||
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"A heterosexual man not wanting to date or have sex with gay or bi men is in no way homophobic. It’s not their sexual interest. But a woman looking to date or have sex with men who refuses to do so with bisexual men is expressing, imo, a homophobic preference." What about gay men who don't want to date or have sex with bisexual men? Is that a homophobic preference even though the preference is for homosexuals? 🤔 I think if it's examined properly then the roots will often be found embedded in some form of internalised homophobia, but not necessarily always. And telling someone their sexual preferences are morally unsound is unlikely to be received as useful advice that they can work on 💜 | |||
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"A heterosexual man not wanting to date or have sex with gay or bi men is in no way homophobic. It’s not their sexual interest. But a woman looking to date or have sex with men who refuses to do so with bisexual men is expressing, imo, a homophobic preference. What about gay men who don't want to date or have sex with bisexual men? Is that a homophobic preference even though the preference is for homosexuals? 🤔 I think if it's examined properly then the roots will often be found embedded in some form of internalised homophobia, but not necessarily always. And telling someone their sexual preferences are morally unsound is unlikely to be received as useful advice that they can work on 💜" I agree. We use homophobic too widely perhaps because there is an equivalent bias at play when a lesbian won’t have sex with any bi woman or a gay man won’t have sex with bi men. I’m not trying to tell anyone that their preferences are morally unsound and I know I sure as hell won’t change their mind. Maybe one person might look a little deeper at their reasoning for a blanket no and that would be a good thing. | |||
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"(or women I guess but women tend to be far more accepting anyway)" Accepting of rights yes as has been studied and polled globally in many countries but lifestyle equality and acceptance versus dating are very different things on the ground . Most women I know personally would actively avoid any bisexual men for relationships as it would be an immediate no to them on a romantic level unless they themselves were bisexual . | |||
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"(or women I guess but women tend to be far more accepting anyway) Accepting of rights yes as has been studied and polled globally in many countries but lifestyle equality and acceptance versus dating are very different things on the ground . Most women I know personally would actively avoid any bisexual men for relationships as it would be an immediate no to them on a romantic level unless they themselves were bisexual . " Luckily I'm married to one of those rarities  | |||
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"A heterosexual man not wanting to date or have sex with gay or bi men is in no way homophobic. It’s not their sexual interest. But a woman looking to date or have sex with men who refuses to do so with bisexual men is expressing, imo, a homophobic preference. What about gay men who don't want to date or have sex with bisexual men? Is that a homophobic preference even though the preference is for homosexuals? 🤔 I think if it's examined properly then the roots will often be found embedded in some form of internalised homophobia, but not necessarily always. And telling someone their sexual preferences are morally unsound is unlikely to be received as useful advice that they can work on 💜 I agree. We use homophobic too widely perhaps because there is an equivalent bias at play when a lesbian won’t have sex with any bi woman or a gay man won’t have sex with bi men. I’m not trying to tell anyone that their preferences are morally unsound and I know I sure as hell won’t change their mind. Maybe one person might look a little deeper at their reasoning for a blanket no and that would be a good thing." Fair. My understanding comes down to it often relating to them devaluing homosexual relationships themselves. Gay women have told me there's no point dating me because obviously I'll eventually settle into the heteronormative life because I can do that and it's easier than being openly gay. Or when I was younger because I'd obviously want kids eventually and they'd never be enough for me in the long run. It's really kinda sad. I've also heard a woman say that they don't want a bi man because they know they can offer everything a woman has, but they can't compete with a penis, and they'd always feel less than and like it was basically okay if the boyfriend fucked other guys because she could never compete with that even though they wanted a monogamous relationship. Which came up more sad than homophobic to me 💜 | |||
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"Have seen a number of profiles which states they don't want to meet bi guys . Don't know if this is a male thing? I am bi but can play straight if the male is not interested. " Lol "play straight" | |||
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"I definitely know a lot of straight women who date/married to bi men. For them its about how someone shares their romantic interests. For us in swing, its probably a bit murky because we mainly deal with the sexual side of 'relationships'. Some women will be thinking of sexual health (without thinking str8 men are the main ones to spread sti's). I dont even think bi women in swing are open to bi men, but I think in kink its better. A lot of ts/tv/cd enjoy str8 men in secret but most of these men would ignore them in public. So really, morally we all in the same boat." We personally don’t care about someone’s sexuality so long as it aligns with our boundaries ,what we mean by that is , if we were to play with a bi man we would just want to ensure he respected beasts boundaries that beast is straight. Wouldn’t stop me playing with the man just because he’s bi. Same goes for straight women, I’m bi but I can totally respect the woman doesn’t want to play with me so I don’t touch her and let her and beast enjoy. We have spoken to a few couples that refuse to get with bi blokes and it’s only because the men they have played with in the past haven’t respected the fact the male half of the couple was straight and has tried to touch him hence they now put off by any bi men so not to experience that again and I do feel lots of bi men don’t mention it on their profile for this reason. I could be wrong. | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather?" Tbh no However it does depend a little on the reasons why you won't | |||
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"See also the men and women who don't want to date my bisexual ass. And yes, that is both men and women that have expressed discomfort with my sexuality that turns them off. It's not exclusively women that have the preference. I know gay men that don't date bisexual men too 💜" Yes and lots of lesbians who look down on bi women as well | |||
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"Next daft question please." Any suggestions? | |||
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C x | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather?" No it makes you who you are with your own values. As for a bigger pool, there are definitely more guys messaging guys than woman on here for sure. In the six years I've been on here I've met 5 women, and possibly had another 6 messages that fizzled out. I rejoined a couple of months ago, not had any replies from the hundreds of women I've sent tailored messages to. And over a thousand messages from guys. | |||
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"No. It's a preference. Whatever that preference is rooted in may come from a place of internalised homophobia, but not necessarily 💜" This It can be, (and I think it very often is), but it isn’t always. Either way preference is a preference and should be respected. | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather?" no I'm straight | |||
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"I find this interesting. Ive met a few older men who have become bi/curious later in life. Ive wondered if they dabbled in all sorts that their excitement has died so now they explore the other sex." Many older men are sexless / widowed / divorced and at a stage in life where they have nothing to prove / be shamed about so will branch out into same sex. Gay sex is inherently more fluid than heterosexuality at getting pickups etc with no baggage attached . Plus it’s easy to hide / keep discreet if they need. This is what majority of older men 60+ I have come across tell me over the years socially and at saunas / clubs etc | |||
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"I find this interesting. Ive met a few older men who have become bi/curious later in life. Ive wondered if they dabbled in all sorts that their excitement has died so now they explore the other sex. Many older men are sexless / widowed / divorced and at a stage in life where they have nothing to prove / be shamed about so will branch out into same sex. Gay sex is inherently more fluid than heterosexuality at getting pickups etc with no baggage attached . Plus it’s easy to hide / keep discreet if they need. This is what majority of older men 60+ I have come across tell me over the years socially and at saunas / clubs etc " So, its like Logans run but for cock. | |||
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"its like Logans run but for cock. " Lol im too young for that reference  | |||
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"I find this interesting. Ive met a few older men who have become bi/curious later in life. Ive wondered if they dabbled in all sorts that their excitement has died so now they explore the other sex. Many older men are sexless / widowed / divorced and at a stage in life where they have nothing to prove / be shamed about so will branch out into same sex. Gay sex is inherently more fluid than heterosexuality at getting pickups etc with no baggage attached . Plus it’s easy to hide / keep discreet if they need. This is what majority of older men 60+ I have come across tell me over the years socially and at saunas / clubs etc " Ah yes, but the oldies are fitter than the young ones now. There some grandpa's id shag! | |||
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"its like Logans run but for cock. Lol im too young for that reference "Show off, but are you ageist if you won't fuck someone who gets that reference. | |||
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"its like Logans run but for cock. Lol im too young for that reference Show off, but are you ageist if you won't fuck someone who gets that reference. "Oh deffo! I rather be ageist than a homophobe. Oldies go be with each other in your nursing homes, collecting stirs! Haha | |||
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"Seems a lot of people dont want to reflect in their opinion of bi men comes from a place of insecurities/ hatred etc. Noone is saying prefence is wrong. Its about questioning our thought process towards bi men. Is there a stigma. Why would having sex with a bi man be any different? Its just sex. So why are they excluded? We are a swing site after all. If they meet your physical requirements? So it really isnt just preference. Theres a stigma. " If it's just sex I could fuck someone who believes women shouldn't have any rights. But I don't find that attractive in a person, so I wouldn't have a sexual drive towards that person regardless of how pretty they may be. It's just sex. But I only want to have sex with people I am sexually attracted to. And that comes down to a lot more than just the physical appearance and act itself. I also don't tend to sleep with people who don't like dogs. Does that affect the actual of sex in any way? Absolutely not. But people who dislike dogs are just fucking weird to me. And it puts me off. With rejecting bisexual men it could come down to penis envy, insecurity, perceived risk of STDs and promiscuity, all sorts of things. Maybe they like their partners to be the traditional dominant masculine type and find the idea of them with another man not their idea of masculine and ruins that feeling for them. Most times people won't even know why something turns them off. I don't bang scousers 😂 If something turns me off someone, I don't want to have sex with them. For clarity, my most important comet is a bisexual man, I have no issues with bisexuality myself. But there are many people I've rejected over the years for reasons that are absolutely irrelevant to the actual physical act itself and often not anything that should matter, they just did or said something that turned me off them 💜 | |||
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"Seems a lot of people dont want to reflect in their opinion of bi men comes from a place of insecurities/ hatred etc. Noone is saying prefence is wrong. Its about questioning our thought process towards bi men. Is there a stigma. Why would having sex with a bi man be any different? Its just sex. So why are they excluded? We are a swing site after all. If they meet your physical requirements? So it really isnt just preference. Theres a stigma. If it's just sex I could fuck someone who believes women shouldn't have any rights. But I don't find that attractive in a person, so I wouldn't have a sexual drive towards that person regardless of how pretty they may be. It's just sex. But I only want to have sex with people I am sexually attracted to. And that comes down to a lot more than just the physical appearance and act itself. I also don't tend to sleep with people who don't like dogs. Does that affect the actual of sex in any way? Absolutely not. But people who dislike dogs are just fucking weird to me. And it puts me off. With rejecting bisexual men it could come down to penis envy, insecurity, perceived risk of STDs and promiscuity, all sorts of things. Maybe they like their partners to be the traditional dominant masculine type and find the idea of them with another man not their idea of masculine and ruins that feeling for them. Most times people won't even know why something turns them off. I don't bang scousers 😂 If something turns me off someone, I don't want to have sex with them. For clarity, my most important comet is a bisexual man, I have no issues with bisexuality myself. But there are many people I've rejected over the years for reasons that are absolutely irrelevant to the actual physical act itself and often not anything that should matter, they just did or said something that turned me off them 💜" I would there is a stigma towards bi men. Ive seen women have lower standards but see a bi men and now they have preferences. Thats why I say stigma is something that comes to play. Bi male stigma yet a lot of "straight" be playing in secret and risking their health bur because their profile says StR8 then women are all good. So maybe its not homophobia. Maybe its stigma. I use to worry that bi men dont play safe. That there's a greater chance of me getting an STI if I play with a bi man. Ive learnt that I need to show the same discernment I would a straight guy, to any man I plan to open my legs to. | |||
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"It is a preference, for me I am not attracted to men, but in my circle of friends I have lots of bi and gay men, they are people first" Sooo being gay or str8 or bi is a preference?? Wuuut | |||
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"its like Logans run but for cock. Lol im too young for that reference Show off, but are you ageist if you won't fuck someone who gets that reference.
Oh deffo! I rather be ageist than a homophobe.
Oldies go be with each other in your nursing homes, collecting stirs! Haha"Quietly but ever so slowly, picks up his medication and walking stick and makes his way to the exit, as his hips and knees give way to age. | |||
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"I find this interesting. Ive met a few older men who have become bi/curious later in life. Ive wondered if they dabbled in all sorts that their excitement has died so now they explore the other sex. Many older men are sexless / widowed / divorced and at a stage in life where they have nothing to prove / be shamed about so will branch out into same sex. Gay sex is inherently more fluid than heterosexuality at getting pickups etc with no baggage attached . Plus it’s easy to hide / keep discreet if they need. This is what majority of older men 60+ I have come across tell me over the years socially and at saunas / clubs etc Ah yes, but the oldies are fitter than the young ones now. There some grandpa's id shag! " Nice to hear 🤣🤣 | |||
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"its like Logans run but for cock. Lol im too young for that reference Show off, but are you ageist if you won't fuck someone who gets that reference.
Oh deffo! I rather be ageist than a homophobe.
Oldies go be with each other in your nursing homes, collecting stirs! Haha Quietly but ever so slowly, picks up his medication and walking stick and makes his way to the exit, as his hips and knees give way to age. "Collecting STI's not stirs. Jeez I don't event want to look back at my autocorrect mistakes. Thats 500K per hip replacement gramps! | |||
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"I find this interesting. Ive met a few older men who have become bi/curious later in life. Ive wondered if they dabbled in all sorts that their excitement has died so now they explore the other sex." Or maybe their sexuality has just broadened… As they have matured maybe the social norms which inhibited their sexual boundaries as younger men have become less of a pressure and they’ve been able to overcome a reluctance to explore sexuality. I think there’s an aversion to meet bi men due to a belief that their masculinity has been somewhat affected and a suspicion that they won’t play straight, there’s also a worry that there would be an increase in the risk of contracting an STD from sex with a Bi man (unfortunately statistically true)… and all the while the women in the couples that won’t meet bi men are mostly declared as bi-curious / bisexual… it’s a distinct Lifestyle/ Fab characteristic that bi women outnumber straight women. It’s rooted in phobia but it’s also just an acceptable preference. There are however men, women and couples that love the fluidity of sex without boundaries so bi men shouldn’t complain- just find the right people to meet, go to parties and club events which cater for bisexuality. | |||
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"its like Logans run but for cock. Lol im too young for that reference Show off, but are you ageist if you won't fuck someone who gets that reference.
Oh deffo! I rather be ageist than a homophobe.
Oldies go be with each other in your nursing homes, collecting stirs! Haha Quietly but ever so slowly, picks up his medication and walking stick and makes his way to the exit, as his hips and knees give way to age.
Collecting STI's not stirs. Jeez I don't event want to look back at my autocorrect mistakes.
Thats 500K per hip replacement gramps!"Grab my pension book I'm feeling reckless. | |||
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"It is a preference, for me I am not attracted to men, but in my circle of friends I have lots of bi and gay men, they are people first Sooo being gay or str8 or bi is a preference?? Wuuut" No, my preference | |||
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"A lot of women and straight men seem to make the assumptions that all bi men are riddled with STI/D's and that does come across as a bit homophobic if that's the reason you won't meet bi men. There are other reasons people won't meet bi men, though. As long as someone gets tested right vefore meeting me and they show proof of clear teat results then u don't have an issue. This goes for straight men and straight or bi women too. I will do the same in return." Statistically, they are the highest risk group with a much higher incident rate. This doesn't mean that all of them are riddled, but the information is there to make an informed decision. Am I more concerned about my promiscuous bisexual partners' testing cycles than I am the straight guy who only sees me? Yes. But I trust the individual well enough to not actually worry. And all of my regular partners are tested regularly 💜 | |||
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"Seems a lot of people dont want to reflect in their opinion of bi men comes from a place of insecurities/ hatred etc. Noone is saying prefence is wrong. Its about questioning our thought process towards bi men. Is there a stigma. Why would having sex with a bi man be any different? Its just sex. So why are they excluded? We are a swing site after all. If they meet your physical requirements? So it really isnt just preference. Theres a stigma. " Maybe they don’t fancy having to suck a cock that’s been up another man’s hairy arse? 🤷🏻♂️ | |||
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"I use to worry that bi men dont play safe. That there's a greater chance of me getting an STI if I play with a bi man. Ive learnt that I need to show the same discernment I would a straight guy, to any man I plan to open my legs to. " I'm told by a sexual health professional at my local clinic that due to a lot of gay/bi men being on PrEP (prevents you contracting HIV and ultimately AIDS) taking doxycycline after condomless sex (highly effective against contracting chlamydia and syphilis) and having the two jabs that are to prevent you getting meningitis but a side effect is they give you up to 40% protection against gonorrhea, they're finding it's the straight folk that are outnumbering the gay/bi men when it comes to contracting sexually transmitted diseases. The obvious conclusion is that it's safer for women to fuck bi men  | |||
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"Seems a lot of people dont want to reflect in their opinion of bi men comes from a place of insecurities/ hatred etc. Noone is saying prefence is wrong. Its about questioning our thought process towards bi men. Is there a stigma. Why would having sex with a bi man be any different? Its just sex. So why are they excluded? We are a swing site after all. If they meet your physical requirements? So it really isnt just preference. Theres a stigma. Maybe they don’t fancy having to suck a cock that’s been up another man’s hairy arse? 🤷🏻♂️" Would presume its been washed since 🤣 | |||
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"Seems a lot of people dont want to reflect in their opinion of bi men comes from a place of insecurities/ hatred etc. Noone is saying prefence is wrong. Its about questioning our thought process towards bi men. Is there a stigma. Why would having sex with a bi man be any different? Its just sex. So why are they excluded? We are a swing site after all. If they meet your physical requirements? So it really isnt just preference. Theres a stigma. Maybe they don’t fancy having to suck a cock that’s been up another man’s hairy arse? 🤷🏻♂️ Would presume its been washed since 🤣" You never know 🤣 | |||
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"No, this seems absurd. Does not wanting to date a lesbian make you homophobic? " I'd like to date a lesbian | |||
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"Why is it always people who love to fuck bi people who have such a hardon for those who don't? Why so eager to soapbox against those just peacefully going about their lives choosing sexual partners as pleases them and doing no harm. There seems to be a whole lot of antagonism here and I don't think bi people would appreciate having this torch lit on their behalf. Of course there's an ism for some. They're in all things to a certain extent. But don't villanise the majority because of a minority. Are we supposed to weaponise sexuality now? What are we to feel guilty about next? The type of underwear we choose? How dare you all not love gstrings! Get your asses out and start flossing "100% this. Always the same aswell its like its ok to be anything but straight and want to meet straight people lately. I personally couldnt give a shit what any person who is irrelevant to me thinks about my sexual preferences its only ever them who seem to have an issue. I also couldnt give a hoot who other people wanna fuck or the reason why or why not tbh. | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather?" As so many others have said it is about preference, which can work both for and against you. Rejection can hurt, but it is better to find your place and your people, rather than focusing on those who don’t want you. | |||
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"Seems a lot of people dont want to reflect in their opinion of bi men comes from a place of insecurities/ hatred etc. Noone is saying prefence is wrong. Its about questioning our thought process towards bi men. Is there a stigma. Why would having sex with a bi man be any different? Its just sex. So why are they excluded? We are a swing site after all. If they meet your physical requirements? So it really isnt just preference. Theres a stigma. Maybe they don’t fancy having to suck a cock that’s been up another man’s hairy arse? 🤷🏻♂️" Except not all bi men engage in anal, the same as not all heterosexual couples don't either. Anatomically there's no difference between a man and a woman's arsehole, so if that argument was the reason then women would also have to discount any straight guy that's had anal with a woman, surely? So that argument doesn't really hold water. Which brings things back to the 'stigma' concept again. 🤷♂️ Obi | |||
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"Why is it always people who love to fuck bi people who have such a hardon for those who don't? Why so eager to soapbox against those just peacefully going about their lives choosing sexual partners as pleases them and doing no harm. There seems to be a whole lot of antagonism here and I don't think bi people would appreciate having this torch lit on their behalf. Of course there's an ism for some. They're in all things to a certain extent. But don't villanise the majority because of a minority. Are we supposed to weaponise sexuality now? What are we to feel guilty about next? The type of underwear we choose? How dare you all not love gstrings! Get your asses out and start flossing
100% this. Always the same aswell its like its ok to be anything but straight and want to meet straight people lately.
I personally couldnt give a shit what any person who is irrelevant to me thinks about my sexual preferences its only ever them who seem to have an issue.
I also couldnt give a hoot who other people wanna fuck or the reason why or why not tbh.
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather?" Calling someone homophobic because they won't date you is a bit like calling someone anti-Italian because they ordered Chinese. Preferences aren't personal attacks. | |||
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"Seems a lot of people dont want to reflect in their opinion of bi men comes from a place of insecurities/ hatred etc. Noone is saying prefence is wrong. Its about questioning our thought process towards bi men. Is there a stigma. Why would having sex with a bi man be any different? Its just sex. So why are they excluded? We are a swing site after all. If they meet your physical requirements? So it really isnt just preference. Theres a stigma. Maybe they don’t fancy having to suck a cock that’s been up another man’s hairy arse? 🤷🏻♂️ Except not all bi men engage in anal, the same as not all heterosexual couples don't either. Anatomically there's no difference between a man and a woman's arsehole, so if that argument was the reason then women would also have to discount any straight guy that's had anal with a woman, surely? So that argument doesn't really hold water. Which brings things back to the 'stigma' concept again. 🤷♂️ Obi" What doesn’t hold water is people trying to force a negative label on someone because it’s not what they want to do. If a lady doesn’t want to sleep with a bi man, it’s their choice. It’s not homophobia. If they were saying that men shouldn’t sleep with men then that is obviously different. People are entitled NOT to do something just as much as someone that wants to do it. | |||
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"What doesn’t hold water is people trying to force a negative label on someone because it’s not what they want to do. If a lady doesn’t want to sleep with a bi man, it’s their choice. It’s not homophobia. If they were saying that men shouldn’t sleep with men then that is obviously different. People are entitled NOT to do something just as much as someone that wants to do it. " I don't want to sleep with monogamous people. Does it affect the actual of sex or direct physical attraction? No. Does it affect whether or not I want to engage with them? Yes. Is it me saying monogamous people are bad and wrong? No. Just that I don't want to fuck them. If someone doesn't want to have sex with me, that's pretty much all that matters. The why is utterly irrelevant. And hounding people to justify why they don't want to fuck someone is exactly why most women on here just block instead of saying no thanks 💜 | |||
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"Seems a lot of people dont want to reflect in their opinion of bi men comes from a place of insecurities/ hatred etc. Noone is saying prefence is wrong. Its about questioning our thought process towards bi men. Is there a stigma. Why would having sex with a bi man be any different? Its just sex. So why are they excluded? We are a swing site after all. If they meet your physical requirements? So it really isnt just preference. Theres a stigma. Maybe they don’t fancy having to suck a cock that’s been up another man’s hairy arse? 🤷🏻♂️ Except not all bi men engage in anal, the same as not all heterosexual couples don't either. Anatomically there's no difference between a man and a woman's arsehole, so if that argument was the reason then women would also have to discount any straight guy that's had anal with a woman, surely? So that argument doesn't really hold water. Which brings things back to the 'stigma' concept again. 🤷♂️ Obi What doesn’t hold water is people trying to force a negative label on someone because it’s not what they want to do. If a lady doesn’t want to sleep with a bi man, it’s their choice. It’s not homophobia. If they were saying that men shouldn’t sleep with men then that is obviously different. People are entitled NOT to do something just as much as someone that wants to do it. " Of course people can choose who they want to have sex with. I wasn't disagreeing with that nor would I debate it. I was just pointing out that the example you chose to express wasn't a particularly strong argument and was one that's pretty commonly linked to negative connotations of bi men. 🤷♂️ Obi | |||
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"Seems a lot of people dont want to reflect in their opinion of bi men comes from a place of insecurities/ hatred etc. Noone is saying prefence is wrong. Its about questioning our thought process towards bi men. Is there a stigma. Why would having sex with a bi man be any different? Its just sex. So why are they excluded? We are a swing site after all. If they meet your physical requirements? So it really isnt just preference. Theres a stigma. Maybe they don’t fancy having to suck a cock that’s been up another man’s hairy arse? 🤷🏻♂️ Except not all bi men engage in anal, the same as not all heterosexual couples don't either. Anatomically there's no difference between a man and a woman's arsehole, so if that argument was the reason then women would also have to discount any straight guy that's had anal with a woman, surely? So that argument doesn't really hold water. Which brings things back to the 'stigma' concept again. 🤷♂️ Obi What doesn’t hold water is people trying to force a negative label on someone because it’s not what they want to do. If a lady doesn’t want to sleep with a bi man, it’s their choice. It’s not homophobia. If they were saying that men shouldn’t sleep with men then that is obviously different. People are entitled NOT to do something just as much as someone that wants to do it. Of course people can choose who they want to have sex with. I wasn't disagreeing with that nor would I debate it. I was just pointing out that the example you chose to express wasn't a particularly strong argument and was one that's pretty commonly linked to negative connotations of bi men. 🤷♂️ Obi" I wasn’t really using it as a strong arguement, more tongue-in-cheek, but if that was the reason someone used, they are totally entitled and validated to use it. It wouldn’t make them homophobic to have that reason it’s just their own preference not to do something. I think TT is right, there’s a lot of bashing straight people just because they want to sleep with other straight people. | |||
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"Seems a lot of people dont want to reflect in their opinion of bi men comes from a place of insecurities/ hatred etc. Noone is saying prefence is wrong. Its about questioning our thought process towards bi men. Is there a stigma. Why would having sex with a bi man be any different? Its just sex. So why are they excluded? We are a swing site after all. If they meet your physical requirements? So it really isnt just preference. Theres a stigma. Maybe they don’t fancy having to suck a cock that’s been up another man’s hairy arse? 🤷🏻♂️ Except not all bi men engage in anal, the same as not all heterosexual couples don't either. Anatomically there's no difference between a man and a woman's arsehole, so if that argument was the reason then women would also have to discount any straight guy that's had anal with a woman, surely? So that argument doesn't really hold water. Which brings things back to the 'stigma' concept again. 🤷♂️ Obi What doesn’t hold water is people trying to force a negative label on someone because it’s not what they want to do. If a lady doesn’t want to sleep with a bi man, it’s their choice. It’s not homophobia. If they were saying that men shouldn’t sleep with men then that is obviously different. People are entitled NOT to do something just as much as someone that wants to do it. Of course people can choose who they want to have sex with. I wasn't disagreeing with that nor would I debate it. I was just pointing out that the example you chose to express wasn't a particularly strong argument and was one that's pretty commonly linked to negative connotations of bi men. 🤷♂️ Obi I wasn’t really using it as a strong arguement, more tongue-in-cheek, but if that was the reason someone used, they are totally entitled and validated to use it. It wouldn’t make them homophobic to have that reason it’s just their own preference not to do something. I think TT is right, there’s a lot of bashing straight people just because they want to sleep with other straight people. " I don't necessarily think it's bashing, more questioning. We all like different things. We all have individual preferences and tastes. And that's absolutley correct. It just seems though that some people are either less able, or less keen to share their own thought processes on certain subjects, this being one of them and others such as race/ethnicity commonly being ones where the default answers are simply 'because it's my choice' or 'because I can'. Nobody ever seems to have any problems expressing why they like/dislike certain foods, music, sports, holiday destinations, cars or a myriad of other topics. But whenever this question is asked (and it happens a lot) the answers are often more vague, avoiding or brief and few ever stand on the parapet and give clear personal reasons. Which of course is also fine. Nobody is obliged to share anything or justify their choices. It often seems there's an unwillingness to be seen to express personal choices on these subjects, which makes any form of debate or discussion somewhat pointless. If the answer to every question asked in the forums was just 'because I can' or 'it's my preference' they'd be a pretty dull place. Obi | |||
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"A lot of women and straight men seem to make the assumptions that all bi men are riddled with STI/D's and that does come across as a bit homophobic if that's the reason you won't meet bi men. There are other reasons people won't meet bi men, though. As long as someone gets tested right vefore meeting me and they show proof of clear teat results then u don't have an issue. This goes for straight men and straight or bi women too. I will do the same in return. Statistically, they are the highest risk group with a much higher incident rate. This doesn't mean that all of them are riddled, but the information is there to make an informed decision. Am I more concerned about my promiscuous bisexual partners' testing cycles than I am the straight guy who only sees me? Yes. But I trust the individual well enough to not actually worry. And all of my regular partners are tested regularly 💜" This is the kind of view I would take. I'd look at the individual rather than rejecting someone solely for being bi. With both sexes and straight and bi men I worry a lot don't get tested regularly enough:n especially after reading comments from those that regularly attend clubs that there seem to be a lot who go thar don't use protection. I'm aware some will have spoken beforehand though, and provided proof and not everyone will forego condoms, but it does make me worry a bit. | |||
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*random user name used for illustrative purposes only, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather?" It’s a tough one for me because it’s a preference I suppose. Also though if the only reason you wouldn’t meet someone is because of there sexual orientation then I can also see that as phobic. | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather?" I'm not sure how you could know if they did not tell you that they were Bi. Many keep it secret. A lot of apparently straight men are really Bi. | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather? It’s a tough one for me because it’s a preference I suppose. Also though if the only reason you wouldn’t meet someone is because of there sexual orientation then I can also see that as phobic. " Agreed. | |||
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"I don’t like eating butternut squash. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like people who do like eating butternut squash. " Not really a similar comparison though is it | |||
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"Surely the phobia in question should be biphobia and not homophobia? I can confirm as an openly bi man, ticking the box that says bisexual does limit the pool of people wanting to meet us. People make choices and I am not interested in trying to change their mind, much better to find those that want to meet/chat than those who don’t. I do think that there needs to be a distinction between men who have sex with men and bisexuals when banding about STD statistics about though. Openly bisexual and bicurious men are more likely to get regularly tested and take the appropriate precautions than the straight identifying men who love nothing more than getting bummed whilst the wife is at work. Most of the offers I get on here are from straight identifying profiles, a high number of which are wanting bareback, don’t want verifications from men and have visible verifications from women and couples that are most likely unaware that ‘bigbullforhotwives69’* was taking anonymous loads in the back of a transit van on the A38 just hours before gifting the wife a cream-pie whilst hubby wanks off in the corner. Life’s too short to worry about who won’t shag you, focus on those that will. Mr CC
*random user name used for illustrative purposes only, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. "Interesting. I do see a lot of m4m men use prep etc, I wonder if the same be for openly bi men. | |||
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"Crikey....so we should consider fucking people with different sexual preferences to avoid the homophonic card being thrown at us. For a society of people that are so keen to avoid labels, they don't half get thrown around when people have preferences that dont align. " I haven't seen all the replies to this post, but I definitely don't have that view, even if my comment made it seem that way. I just think with regards to people worrying about STD's when meeting bi people there shouldn't be any blanket judgements made. It's better to make a decision based on the individual. People are of course always allowed preferences, though and it doesn't make sense to meet people you aren't comfortable meeting. I tend to be attracted to athletic or slim men. That could be seen ad fat phobic by some, but it's purely just something I like from a visual perspective. I'd be friends with anyone regardless of appearance. I notice lots of people have racial preferences. I've never been a fan of race fetishes on here, but I giedd it's the same as having a preference for a certain hair or eye colour. | |||
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"Surely the phobia in question should be biphobia and not homophobia? I can confirm as an openly bi man, ticking the box that says bisexual does limit the pool of people wanting to meet us. People make choices and I am not interested in trying to change their mind, much better to find those that want to meet/chat than those who don’t. I do think that there needs to be a distinction between men who have sex with men and bisexuals when banding about STD statistics about though. Openly bisexual and bicurious men are more likely to get regularly tested and take the appropriate precautions than the straight identifying men who love nothing more than getting bummed whilst the wife is at work. Most of the offers I get on here are from straight identifying profiles, a high number of which are wanting bareback, don’t want verifications from men and have visible verifications from women and couples that are most likely unaware that ‘bigbullforhotwives69’* was taking anonymous loads in the back of a transit van on the A38 just hours before gifting the wife a cream-pie whilst hubby wanks off in the corner. Life’s too short to worry about who won’t shag you, focus on those that will. Mr CC
*random user name used for illustrative purposes only, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Interesting. I do see a lot of m4m men use prep etc, I wonder if the same be for openly bi men.
"There's a guy I've chatted to on here who's openly bi and states on his profile that he takes PrEP. I don't know about other bi men, though. | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather? no I'm straight " Then the question isn’t aimed at you, of course it’s not homophobic for a straight man not wanting to meet a bi man. If on the other hand you wouldn’t meet a bi women and that decision was based solely on the fact of her sexuality then that could easily be seen to be phobic | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather? It’s a tough one for me because it’s a preference I suppose. Also though if the only reason you wouldn’t meet someone is because of there sexual orientation then I can also see that as phobic. " The term biphobic would be more accurate. | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather?" No, it just means you have a preference | |||
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"The question in itself doesn't have a lot of nuance to it, so the immediate answer would be "No"...but society tends to ignore that many people's preferences are based or embedded in discrimination. A man can say " I prefer fit/slim women" which makes it a preference, but another can say "I'd never have sex with a fat bi**h" which would make it fat phobia. We like to see the best in people... but many of those people would think "I'd never date a n***** / I'd never have sex with a fa**** / I'd never kiss a di🧼ty Pakistani or a sm👃lly jew" ...but they would never say it outright, and they will always use "it's just my preference " as a shield to fall back on" Really took it there lol | |||
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"The question in itself doesn't have a lot of nuance to it, so the immediate answer would be "No"...but society tends to ignore that many people's preferences are based or embedded in discrimination. A man can say " I prefer fit/slim women" which makes it a preference, but another can say "I'd never have sex with a fat bi**h" which would make it fat phobia. We like to see the best in people... but many of those people would think "I'd never date a n***** / I'd never have sex with a fa**** / I'd never kiss a di🧼ty Pakistani or a sm👃lly jew" ...but they would never say it outright, and they will always use "it's just my preference " as a shield to fall back on Really took it there lol" 🐻👈...🏃🏻♂️➡️ | |||
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"The question in itself doesn't have a lot of nuance to it, so the immediate answer would be "No"...but society tends to ignore that many people's preferences are based or embedded in discrimination. A man can say " I prefer fit/slim women" which makes it a preference, but another can say "I'd never have sex with a fat bi**h" which would make it fat phobia. We like to see the best in people... but many of those people would think "I'd never date a n***** / I'd never have sex with a fa**** / I'd never kiss a di🧼ty Pakistani or a sm👃lly jew" ...but they would never say it outright, and they will always use "it's just my preference " as a shield to fall back on Really took it there lol 🐻👈...🏃🏻♂️➡️" Are you animal phobic? | |||
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"The question in itself doesn't have a lot of nuance to it, so the immediate answer would be "No"...but society tends to ignore that many people's preferences are based or embedded in discrimination. A man can say " I prefer fit/slim women" which makes it a preference, but another can say "I'd never have sex with a fat bi**h" which would make it fat phobia. We like to see the best in people... but many of those people would think "I'd never date a n***** / I'd never have sex with a fa**** / I'd never kiss a di🧼ty Pakistani or a sm👃lly jew" ...but they would never say it outright, and they will always use "it's just my preference " as a shield to fall back on" Your point is good however calling someone names like them is just nasty in my opinion | |||
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""Biphobic" thats the term I was looking for. I think there's more reverence for bi-women and straight women being around them with no pressure. I think we have a stigma towards bi men. As for it hurt their dating/sexual pool, who knows. Are they being hunted down and k*lled, no. I still think kinksters are more open-minded than us swingers re bi men. " It applies to women too. I've encountered straight couples who wouldn't engage with the old couples profile because I'm bi and they didn't want any girl on girl stuff happening. It affects their dating pool the same way that height, weight, race, and personality do. If someone isn't into the idea of sex with someone, that's okay 💜 | |||
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"We won't look at bi guys. Whilst I (male) am perfectly comfortable around other guys, the issue is mostly of promiscuity. With straight guys on here, we can only take whatever cues we can from their profile, but bi guys are likely on other sites as well. Just our preference. There's more than enough single (apparently) guys on here to not have to take an extra risk. It might be unfair to categorise ALL bi men this way, but we know all guys will tell whatever lies they need to seal the deal. Its surprising how many guys didn't realise they had bi curious on their profile until we pointed it out 🤣 Happy hunting though guys, no phobia just not for us" Maybe not so surprising is the fact that many men with straight profiles on here also have bi profiles on other sites/apps. They're well aware of the attitudes towards bi men, so play straight on this site to improve their chances. | |||
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" Maybe not so surprising is the fact that many men with straight profiles on here also have bi profiles on other sites/apps. They're well aware of the attitudes towards bi men, so play straight on this site to improve their chances." Pisses me that they do this, it’s so deceitful. I don’t want to have sex with bi men or liars. I generally block any men who claim to be straight on their profile but admit on the forum to meeting or playing with men. | |||
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" Maybe not so surprising is the fact that many men with straight profiles on here also have bi profiles on other sites/apps. They're well aware of the attitudes towards bi men, so play straight on this site to improve their chances. Pisses me that they do this, it’s so deceitful. I don’t want to have sex with bi men or liars. I generally block any men who claim to be straight on their profile but admit on the forum to meeting or playing with men. " Anyone that doesn't disclose full information about themselves to a potential sexual partner is withholding information which allows the other person to give fully informed enthusiastic consent ... it is not ok. | |||
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"The main reason I struggle to date bi guys is mostly because we tend to be at different places with coming out. I've tried a few times (and currently am) seeing a non out bi guy. It's pretty tiring, even if you come to really like them. You also come across the whole 'im not attracted to men, I just like cock' crowd that reduce you to a body part." I hate being reduced to a body part by those type of guys. They really don't have any respect, are often very toxic and can be abusive. I now try to avoid them. | |||
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"The main reason I struggle to date bi guys is mostly because we tend to be at different places with coming out. I've tried a few times (and currently am) seeing a non out bi guy. It's pretty tiring, even if you come to really like them. You also come across the whole 'im not attracted to men, I just like cock' crowd that reduce you to a body part. I hate being reduced to a body part by those type of guys. They really don't have any respect, are often very toxic and can be abusive. I now try to avoid them." Personally, I couldn't date a closeted guy. As someone in his mid-30s who came out when he was 13, I'm too old for that added hassle now. | |||
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"Personally, I couldn't date a closeted guy. As someone in his mid-30s who came out when he was 13, I'm too old for that added hassle now. " Same here. I've been out as Bisexual for over 35 years and have no interest in spending quality time with someone who doesn't accept my sexuality. No time for that these days. | |||
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"🤚 Question(s) ❗ If a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman that has sex with bisexual men, is it "something...phobic"? If bisexual men are more likely to have or carry STD's (as so many women in this thread have stated), should the women that have sex with bisexual men, be looked at with the same concerns/cautions? Should women that have sex with bisexual men state that on their profile? And if not...why the f... not? If the main reason for not having sex with bisexual men is potential health risks, should women that have sex with bisexual men not carry the same responsibilities? " Good questions. I think people may be surprised at how many women have unknowingly slept with a bi man. Especially considering only about 15% of bi men are out of the closet, compared to around 80% of gay men. | |||
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"We won't look at bi guys. Whilst I (male) am perfectly comfortable around other guys, the issue is mostly of promiscuity. With straight guys on here, we can only take whatever cues we can from their profile, but bi guys are likely on other sites as well. Just our preference. There's more than enough single (apparently) guys on here to not have to take an extra risk. It might be unfair to categorise ALL bi men this way, but we know all guys will tell whatever lies they need to seal the deal. Its surprising how many guys didn't realise they had bi curious on their profile until we pointed it out 🤣 Happy hunting though guys, no phobia just not for us Maybe not so surprising is the fact that many men with straight profiles on here also have bi profiles on other sites/apps. They're well aware of the attitudes towards bi men, so play straight on this site to improve their chances." Thus is same at clubs though. Many guys visit clubs in swinging scene but are not in swinger sites. Equally they visit gay saunas etc. In a club environment the whole concept of knowing someone’s history is moot tbh | |||
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"As for the "straight" guys who want to meet TV/TS. I think someone needs to explain things to them. R." Ooohh I wonder about this one too. If its a TS who feels they were born in the wrong body, I treat that person in the body they want to be in (on fab, its generally MtF.) TV/CD, I feel thats part time. So that male with male play. I think fab should seperate those terms | |||
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"Saw this question online. Do you agree/disagree? Is "homophobic" the right term? Bi men, is the pool smaller if you were to be straight or gay rather?" Simple answer no, it definitely does not. It's a preference | |||
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"Openly bisexual men are more likely to get tested! Watch out for closeted straight men!" Closeted bisexual men actually face a higher risk for recent STIs than gay men. | |||
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"if the only reason you wouldn't date a bi guy is because you think its weird or gross or whatever that he's been with men then yeah, homophobic. Sorry to all those who want to hide behind "preference!", as if preferences can't be prejudiced." It's not being homophobic at all!! What you are describing is preference end of. Preferences only feel prejudice when you the one they don't have a preference towards and you feel resentful because you are not what they are looking for. Free choice and all that jazz! Maybe look up the word homophobic too | |||
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"if the only reason you wouldn't date a bi guy is because you think its weird or gross or whatever that he's been with men then yeah, homophobic. Sorry to all those who want to hide behind "preference!", as if preferences can't be prejudiced. It's not being homophobic at all!! What you are describing is preference end of. Preferences only feel prejudice when you the one they don't have a preference towards and you feel resentful because you are not what they are looking for. Free choice and all that jazz! Maybe look up the word homophobic too "As someone who gayish (homoflexible), I completely agree with you. It's not homophobic. People have preferences. For example, I prefer dating gay men, but I'm open to dating bi men who have a preference for men. I wouldn't date anyone who is closeted, or a bi man who leans towards women. I also couldn't date a woman because I love men too much, and the relationship would be a complete disaster because although I have some sexual attraction to women, I'm romantically gay. Words like homophobia and biphobia are overused these days. | |||
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"I would say a very large number of guys on here are bi. The amount of “straight” or “not looking for single men” guys just want physical intimacy with another person. In my experience guys say they get rejected at home and then on here, when I offer my body to be used I don’t get many refusals. I guess my point is you wouldn’t know anyway. " Call me old-fashioned, but surely it's dishonest for bi men to mislead those who they have sex with? People have boundaries and shouldn't be lied to just to get a shag. If a woman's boundary is to only sleep with straight men, then a bi man’s silence isn't privacy, it's a calculated move to bypass her veto. By withholding this, he denies her the right to informed consent, forcing her into a dynamic she explicitly rejected. | |||
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"I would say a very large number of guys on here are bi. The amount of “straight” or “not looking for single men” guys just want physical intimacy with another person. In my experience guys say they get rejected at home and then on here, when I offer my body to be used I don’t get many refusals. I guess my point is you wouldn’t know anyway. Call me old-fashioned, but surely it's dishonest for bi men to mislead those who they have sex with? People have boundaries and shouldn't be lied to just to get a shag. If a woman's boundary is to only sleep with straight men, then a bi man’s silence isn't privacy, it's a calculated move to bypass her veto. By withholding this, he denies her the right to informed consent, forcing her into a dynamic she explicitly rejected." 100% this. | |||
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"🤚 Question(s) ❗ If a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman that has sex with bisexual men, is it "something...phobic"? If bisexual men are more likely to have or carry STD's (as so many women in this thread have stated), should the women that have sex with bisexual men, be looked at with the same concerns/cautions? Should women that have sex with bisexual men state that on their profile? And if not...why the f... not? If the main reason for not having sex with bisexual men is potential health risks, should women that have sex with bisexual men not carry the same responsibilities? " I'm not sure many people who have this criteria have thought about it this hard. There are probably a lot more risk factors than just a guy's sexuality... Eg a bi curious guy who's orally played once and has slept with 5 gals is probably much lower risk than a straight guy who's slept with 200 gals. It's probably more a post rationalised position for many. I get that for some the idea gives them the ick, even if they havent explored why. However there are lots of icks out there. Yet this is the one people care about. How many people screen for sc at experiences say? | |||
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"🤚 Question(s) ❗ If a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman that has sex with bisexual men, is it "something...phobic"? If bisexual men are more likely to have or carry STD's (as so many women in this thread have stated), should the women that have sex with bisexual men, be looked at with the same concerns/cautions? Should women that have sex with bisexual men state that on their profile? And if not...why the f... not? If the main reason for not having sex with bisexual men is potential health risks, should women that have sex with bisexual men not carry the same responsibilities? I'm not sure many people who have this criteria have thought about it this hard. There are probably a lot more risk factors than just a guy's sexuality... Eg a bi curious guy who's orally played once and has slept with 5 gals is probably much lower risk than a straight guy who's slept with 200 gals. It's probably more a post rationalised position for many. I get that for some the idea gives them the ick, even if they havent explored why. However there are lots of icks out there. Yet this is the one people care about. How many people screen for sc at experiences say? " Closeted bisexual men statistically carry higher rates of undiagnosed STIs than out gay men because they test less frequently and are less likely to disclose their full history to doctors. While you argue for judging individual history, most people don’t have the time to audit a partner’s entire sexual past. In practice, avoiding men with same-sex experience is a pragmatic shortcut based on the reality that closeted behaviour correlates with higher, unverified risk. Since you are bisexual yourself, do you believe your own bias affects your opinion on this topic? | |||
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"🤚 Question(s) ❗ If a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman that has sex with bisexual men, is it "something...phobic"? If bisexual men are more likely to have or carry STD's (as so many women in this thread have stated), should the women that have sex with bisexual men, be looked at with the same concerns/cautions? Should women that have sex with bisexual men state that on their profile? And if not...why the f... not? If the main reason for not having sex with bisexual men is potential health risks, should women that have sex with bisexual men not carry the same responsibilities? I'm not sure many people who have this criteria have thought about it this hard. There are probably a lot more risk factors than just a guy's sexuality... Eg a bi curious guy who's orally played once and has slept with 5 gals is probably much lower risk than a straight guy who's slept with 200 gals. It's probably more a post rationalised position for many. I get that for some the idea gives them the ick, even if they havent explored why. However there are lots of icks out there. Yet this is the one people care about. How many people screen for sc at experiences say? Closeted bisexual men statistically carry higher rates of undiagnosed STIs than out gay men because they test less frequently and are less likely to disclose their full history to doctors. While you argue for judging individual history, most people don’t have the time to audit a partner’s entire sexual past. In practice, avoiding men with same-sex experience is a pragmatic shortcut based on the reality that closeted behaviour correlates with higher, unverified risk. Since you are bisexual yourself, do you believe your own bias affects your opinion on this topic?" I’m not saying women shouldn’t sleep with bi men—that’s entirely up to them to decide. But do you have a problem with bi men deceiving a woman into thinking he is straight just in order to get a shag? Because that deception is exactly what prevents women from making an informed choice. | |||
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"🤚 Question(s) ❗ If a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman that has sex with bisexual men, is it "something...phobic"? If bisexual men are more likely to have or carry STD's (as so many women in this thread have stated), should the women that have sex with bisexual men, be looked at with the same concerns/cautions? Should women that have sex with bisexual men state that on their profile? And if not...why the f... not? If the main reason for not having sex with bisexual men is potential health risks, should women that have sex with bisexual men not carry the same responsibilities? I'm not sure many people who have this criteria have thought about it this hard. There are probably a lot more risk factors than just a guy's sexuality... Eg a bi curious guy who's orally played once and has slept with 5 gals is probably much lower risk than a straight guy who's slept with 200 gals. It's probably more a post rationalised position for many. I get that for some the idea gives them the ick, even if they havent explored why. However there are lots of icks out there. Yet this is the one people care about. How many people screen for sc at experiences say? Closeted bisexual men statistically carry higher rates of undiagnosed STIs than out gay men because they test less frequently and are less likely to disclose their full history to doctors. While you argue for judging individual history, most people don’t have the time to audit a partner’s entire sexual past. In practice, avoiding men with same-sex experience is a pragmatic shortcut based on the reality that closeted behaviour correlates with higher, unverified risk. Since you are bisexual yourself, do you believe your own bias affects your opinion on this topic? I’m not saying women shouldn’t sleep with bi men—that’s entirely up to them to decide. But do you have a problem with bi men deceiving a woman into thinking he is straight just in order to get a shag? Because that deception is exactly what prevents women from making an informed choice." If more bi men actually came out like gay men do, visibility would be way better and more women might be interested in having sex with them. Right now, the lack of out bi guys makes it to look like they’re hiding something sketchy. When men are open, it normalises things. and lets women decide based on real people instead of just assumptions. The secrecy just feeds the fear. | |||
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"🤚 Question(s) ❗ If a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman that has sex with bisexual men, is it "something...phobic"? If bisexual men are more likely to have or carry STD's (as so many women in this thread have stated), should the women that have sex with bisexual men, be looked at with the same concerns/cautions? Should women that have sex with bisexual men state that on their profile? And if not...why the f... not? If the main reason for not having sex with bisexual men is potential health risks, should women that have sex with bisexual men not carry the same responsibilities? I'm not sure many people who have this criteria have thought about it this hard. There are probably a lot more risk factors than just a guy's sexuality... Eg a bi curious guy who's orally played once and has slept with 5 gals is probably much lower risk than a straight guy who's slept with 200 gals. It's probably more a post rationalised position for many. I get that for some the idea gives them the ick, even if they havent explored why. However there are lots of icks out there. Yet this is the one people care about. How many people screen for sc at experiences say? Closeted bisexual men statistically carry higher rates of undiagnosed STIs than out gay men because they test less frequently and are less likely to disclose their full history to doctors. While you argue for judging individual history, most people don’t have the time to audit a partner’s entire sexual past. In practice, avoiding men with same-sex experience is a pragmatic shortcut based on the reality that closeted behaviour correlates with higher, unverified risk. Since you are bisexual yourself, do you believe your own bias affects your opinion on this topic?" everyone's own experience and background creates bias. I try and step back from that but it's impossible. I don't deny it's pragmatic. But if safety is a concern then there are probably other heuristics that are pragmatic. It's interesting that it's the closeted behaviour you called out. I wonder if a world that is more accepting of guy on guy activities would reduce the shame and so reduce the risk. Is there a vicious circle here ? | |||
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"🤚 Question(s) ❗ If a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman that has sex with bisexual men, is it "something...phobic"? If bisexual men are more likely to have or carry STD's (as so many women in this thread have stated), should the women that have sex with bisexual men, be looked at with the same concerns/cautions? Should women that have sex with bisexual men state that on their profile? And if not...why the f... not? If the main reason for not having sex with bisexual men is potential health risks, should women that have sex with bisexual men not carry the same responsibilities? I'm not sure many people who have this criteria have thought about it this hard. There are probably a lot more risk factors than just a guy's sexuality... Eg a bi curious guy who's orally played once and has slept with 5 gals is probably much lower risk than a straight guy who's slept with 200 gals. It's probably more a post rationalised position for many. I get that for some the idea gives them the ick, even if they havent explored why. However there are lots of icks out there. Yet this is the one people care about. How many people screen for sc at experiences say? Closeted bisexual men statistically carry higher rates of undiagnosed STIs than out gay men because they test less frequently and are less likely to disclose their full history to doctors. While you argue for judging individual history, most people don’t have the time to audit a partner’s entire sexual past. In practice, avoiding men with same-sex experience is a pragmatic shortcut based on the reality that closeted behaviour correlates with higher, unverified risk. Since you are bisexual yourself, do you believe your own bias affects your opinion on this topic?everyone's own experience and background creates bias. I try and step back from that but it's impossible. I don't deny it's pragmatic. But if safety is a concern then there are probably other heuristics that are pragmatic. It's interesting that it's the closeted behaviour you called out. I wonder if a world that is more accepting of guy on guy activities would reduce the shame and so reduce the risk. Is there a vicious circle here ? " Of course, I am going to call out closeted behaviour. It's not only physical health it affects. How do you explain gay men willing to come out in far greater numbers? One cannot deny that visibility has helped create a better environment for gay people. As such, I don't subscribe to the vicious circle argument. You are talking to someone who came out 23 years ago, when times were more difficult. | |||
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"🤚 Question(s) ❗ If a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman that has sex with bisexual men, is it "something...phobic"? If bisexual men are more likely to have or carry STD's (as so many women in this thread have stated), should the women that have sex with bisexual men, be looked at with the same concerns/cautions? Should women that have sex with bisexual men state that on their profile? And if not...why the f... not? If the main reason for not having sex with bisexual men is potential health risks, should women that have sex with bisexual men not carry the same responsibilities? I'm not sure many people who have this criteria have thought about it this hard. There are probably a lot more risk factors than just a guy's sexuality... Eg a bi curious guy who's orally played once and has slept with 5 gals is probably much lower risk than a straight guy who's slept with 200 gals. It's probably more a post rationalised position for many. I get that for some the idea gives them the ick, even if they havent explored why. However there are lots of icks out there. Yet this is the one people care about. How many people screen for sc at experiences say? Closeted bisexual men statistically carry higher rates of undiagnosed STIs than out gay men because they test less frequently and are less likely to disclose their full history to doctors. While you argue for judging individual history, most people don’t have the time to audit a partner’s entire sexual past. In practice, avoiding men with same-sex experience is a pragmatic shortcut based on the reality that closeted behaviour correlates with higher, unverified risk. Since you are bisexual yourself, do you believe your own bias affects your opinion on this topic?everyone's own experience and background creates bias. I try and step back from that but it's impossible. I don't deny it's pragmatic. But if safety is a concern then there are probably other heuristics that are pragmatic. It's interesting that it's the closeted behaviour you called out. I wonder if a world that is more accepting of guy on guy activities would reduce the shame and so reduce the risk. Is there a vicious circle here ? Of course, I am going to call out closeted behaviour. It's not only physical health it affects. How do you explain gay men willing to come out in far greater numbers? One cannot deny that visibility has helped create a better environment for gay people. As such, I don't subscribe to the vicious circle argument. You are talking to someone who came out 23 years ago, when times were more difficult." Shame? I don't see anything to be ashamed of. It's down to bi men to work on their own internalised homophobia/biphobia. We live in a time when acceptance and tolerance has never been higher. | |||
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"🤚 Question(s) ❗ If a man doesn't want to have sex with a woman that has sex with bisexual men, is it "something...phobic"? If bisexual men are more likely to have or carry STD's (as so many women in this thread have stated), should the women that have sex with bisexual men, be looked at with the same concerns/cautions? Should women that have sex with bisexual men state that on their profile? And if not...why the f... not? If the main reason for not having sex with bisexual men is potential health risks, should women that have sex with bisexual men not carry the same responsibilities? I'm not sure many people who have this criteria have thought about it this hard. There are probably a lot more risk factors than just a guy's sexuality... Eg a bi curious guy who's orally played once and has slept with 5 gals is probably much lower risk than a straight guy who's slept with 200 gals. It's probably more a post rationalised position for many. I get that for some the idea gives them the ick, even if they havent explored why. However there are lots of icks out there. Yet this is the one people care about. How many people screen for sc at experiences say? Closeted bisexual men statistically carry higher rates of undiagnosed STIs than out gay men because they test less frequently and are less likely to disclose their full history to doctors. While you argue for judging individual history, most people don’t have the time to audit a partner’s entire sexual past. In practice, avoiding men with same-sex experience is a pragmatic shortcut based on the reality that closeted behaviour correlates with higher, unverified risk. Since you are bisexual yourself, do you believe your own bias affects your opinion on this topic?everyone's own experience and background creates bias. I try and step back from that but it's impossible. I don't deny it's pragmatic. But if safety is a concern then there are probably other heuristics that are pragmatic. It's interesting that it's the closeted behaviour you called out. I wonder if a world that is more accepting of guy on guy activities would reduce the shame and so reduce the risk. Is there a vicious circle here ? Of course, I am going to call out closeted behaviour. It's not only physical health it affects. How do you explain gay men willing to come out in far greater numbers? One cannot deny that visibility has helped create a better environment for gay people. As such, I don't subscribe to the vicious circle argument. You are talking to someone who came out 23 years ago, when times were more difficult." I'm not denying it's better. I wouldn't say that we are where we could be though. I also fear that male bisexuality still creates discussion and debate that homosexuality no longer does. Which is why many bi men are closested in the way gay men aren't. And I think this works at all ends or the bisexuality spectrum tbh. I know outwardly gay men who harbour metro curiosity yet haven't "come out" in the same way I know outwardly straight men who are homo-curious. | |||
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