FabSwingers.com forum: Manners

By *antsman22 OP Man
2 days ago

Hampshire

How many people message a simple no thanks if they are not interested

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By *ildSilkCouple
2 days ago

Nr Bridgend

"How many people message a simple no thanks if they are not interested "

We used to but so many men can’t take no for an answer and get abusive so we stopped. Nothing to do with manners as the site rules say, no reply means a polite “no thank you”.

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By *antsman22 OP Man
2 days ago

Hampshire

"How many people message a simple no thanks if they are not interested

We used to but so many men can’t take no for an answer and get abusive so we stopped. Nothing to do with manners as the site rules say, no reply means a polite “no thank you”."

That's true I just always reply

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By *uicy_peach79Woman
2 days ago

Edinburgh

The faq says a no answer means no thanks. Many of us reply but a lot of the time just get abuse and nasty names thrown back so it's easier to just delete

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By *ermanentlyHorny8082Couple
2 days ago

North West

"How many people message a simple no thanks if they are not interested "

We try to, but so many folks see this as an open invitation to try to change our mind - at which point the manners go out of the window, they get the full extend of our (my!), wrath, and an instant block! I think that’s why so many don’t reply to politely decline - it’s not worth the aggro!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 days ago

Carlisle usually

Not often these days.

It was too often an opening to 'but why' conversations which were irrelevant and wasting more of our time, or being told I'm a rude cunt for rejecting them out of hand.

I much prefer the relative peace of a delete and move on 💜

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By *rinceless PrincessWoman
2 days ago

Glos

If the original message I get is polite then I will. However I quite often get loads of abuse back when I politely say no. So starting to think that maybe I’ll just delete and not respond.

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
2 days ago

Round the bend

We don't. Not unless someone's gone to a lot of effort in their message. I'm not wasting half of my day replying to a bunch of 'hey', 'you ok?', 'wanna meet?' messages.

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By *rinceless PrincessWoman
2 days ago

Glos

"If the original message I get is polite then I will. However I quite often get loads of abuse back when I politely say no. So starting to think that maybe I’ll just delete and not respond. "

Let me also add I’ve been back on the site less than 24 hours and already had a load of abuse from guys who can’t take no for an answer.

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By *antsman22 OP Man
2 days ago

Hampshire

I have just had to use the block button after a no was not taken

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan
2 days ago

belfast

Yawn. Nothing to do with manners.

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By *uicy_peach79Woman
2 days ago

Edinburgh

"If the original message I get is polite then I will. However I quite often get loads of abuse back when I politely say no. So starting to think that maybe I’ll just delete and not respond.

Let me also add I’ve been back on the site less than 24 hours and already had a load of abuse from guys who can’t take no for an answer. "

Just delete and forget about it, it's much easier than getting abuse

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By *rad670Man
2 days ago

South Lakes

"How many people message a simple no thanks if they are not interested "

Very few answer and I understand from couples I speak to that many men see any kind of reply as fair game to continue pestering so I no longer think of it as being ignorant, I always finish a message saying if I don't hear back I won't pester and sometimes I do get a not for us or not our type.

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By *gly duck cdTV/TS
2 days ago

middlesbrough

"Not often these days.

It was too often an opening to 'but why' conversations which were irrelevant and wasting more of our time, or being told I'm a rude cunt for rejecting them out of hand.

I much prefer the relative peace of a delete and move on 💜"

Exactly this

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By *alkolmBMan
2 days ago

Burghead

Yeah, I don’t ever expect an answer and don’t take it as bad manners at all. The women and couples I know have shown me the volume of messages they get and even aside from the abuse (which is real and horrible) they would often have to hire an admin assistant to be able to respond to everyone.

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By *rinceless PrincessWoman
2 days ago

Glos

"If the original message I get is polite then I will. However I quite often get loads of abuse back when I politely say no. So starting to think that maybe I’ll just delete and not respond.

Let me also add I’ve been back on the site less than 24 hours and already had a load of abuse from guys who can’t take no for an answer.

Just delete and forget about it, it's much easier than getting abuse "

Think I will from now on, last time I was here it was not this bad!

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By *cott45hullMan
2 days ago

Hull

I really must learn to say no once in a while 🤣😜

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By *vaRoseWoman
2 days ago

Ankh-Morpork

I ran an experiement once replying to every message, never again.

On top of the abuse, the questions, the whinging, and the polite “ok”

It also means all of those guys can message me again, my filters mean nothing because the site recognises we’ve had a conversation.

So I’m afraid I don’t reply to all messages

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By *xSirenaxxWoman
2 days ago

Gloucestershire

I’m really clear in my profile that I only reply if I’m interested, so I don’t respond to every message. Someone messaging me doesn’t automatically mean they’re entitled to a reply.

I used to reply out of politeness, but that just led to dealing with fragile egos and abuse, often from people who hadn’t even read my profile or sent something crude to begin with.

Also, once you reply, it can bypass your filters, and then blocking becomes the only option anyway. So I stick to my boundaries. It’s not rude, it’s just practical.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
2 days ago

Cheshire

Imagine all of these comments are messages in your inbox Op, now are you going to answer to every single comment posted.

Or does that seem to be a waste of your time and energy ?

Or maybe a no reply to these comments is easier.

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By *WB85Man
2 days ago

Staffordshire

I've never had an issue when politely declining a lady.

My partner on the other hand gets a whole load of abuse from men that can't handle the rejection. So now she doesn't reoly.

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By *iverman2024Man
2 days ago

Darlington

Never been easier to reply to people - we're not using pen & paper after all are we - yet most cannot find the humanity to be civil.

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By *iddle aged and chubbyMan
2 days ago

Shefford

Always nice to get a reply, even a no thank you.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 days ago

Carlisle usually

"Never been easier to reply to people - we're not using pen & paper after all are we - yet most cannot find the humanity to be civil.

You can read any of the responses above and know why we don't, and it's nothing to do with our civility 💜

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By *cott45hullMan
2 days ago

Hull

I think it’s hard for us average men who get one or two messages a month to comprehend the volume of messages women get and how difficult to reply to them all it must be

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By *ew1231000Man
2 days ago

Hullbridge, Essex

"Never been easier to reply to people - we're not using pen & paper after all are we - yet most cannot find the humanity to be civil.

From seeing what people have put, its more the amount of messages and then the abuse that comes after, no one should get abuse, so it becomes more about the person thats received the message rather than the sender.

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By *ildSilkCouple
2 days ago

Nr Bridgend

"Never been easier to reply to people - we're not using pen & paper after all are we - yet most cannot find the humanity to be civil.

Find it amazing that people can’t read, understand and empathise with the lived experience of other humans even when it’s written down in front of them.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
2 days ago

The Big Smoke

"How many people message a simple no thanks if they are not interested "

If you reply then even when your filters are locked down that person can message you. It’s not rude to ignore, delete, block yada yada - it’s even in the site FAQs

Hope this helps 🌈

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan
2 days ago

belfast

"Never been easier to reply to people - we're not using pen & paper after all are we - yet most cannot find the humanity to be civil.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 days ago

Carlisle usually

"Never been easier to reply to people - we're not using pen & paper after all are we - yet most cannot find the humanity to be civil.

Find it amazing that people can’t read, understand and empathise with the lived experience of other humans even when it’s written down in front of them."

Maybe they'll only bother to read it if it's written using pen and paper? 💜

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By *dstefiMan
2 days ago

Solihull

"How many people message a simple no thanks if they are not interested "

It depends on how the original message is framed. If it looks like somebody has read my profile and put some thought into writing an intro, I'll usually give a polite no thanks if they don't interest me.

Zero effort HRU type stuff gets no reply.

If something skeeves me out about their profile it's no reply and block.

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By *otandDashCouple
2 days ago

farnham

"We don't. Not unless someone's gone to a lot of effort in their message. I'm not wasting half of my day replying to a bunch of 'hey', 'you ok?', 'wanna meet?' messages. "

Precisely

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By *ittlebirdWoman
2 days ago

The Big Smoke

"Never been easier to reply to people - we're not using pen & paper after all are we - yet most cannot find the humanity to be civil.

Interesting thoughts here.

I like a good old fashioned, well thought out letter. Similarly I prefer a well thought out message or e-mail.

A “fuck now” message or similar is none of these. Neither is a message when my profile says quite clearly I’m not meeting. It’s not me being “uncivil”

Hope this helps 🌈

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
2 days ago

Round the bend

"Imagine all of these comments are messages in your inbox Op, now are you going to answer to every single comment posted.

Or does that seem to be a waste of your time and energy ?

Or maybe a no reply to these comments is easier.

Exactly this.

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By *F25Man
2 days ago

kent

i try to reply and be polite the best i can

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
2 days ago

Kent

No. Most of the time they think that's opening up an avenue to continue the conversation.

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By * L RipleyWoman
2 days ago

Buckinghamshire

If I'm not interested I delete the message without a reply, and I state this at the top of my profile.

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By *igBeardyDanMan
2 days ago

Bilston

I'll let you know when someone messages me

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
2 days ago

In a galaxy far far away

"How many people message a simple no thanks if they are not interested "

It depends on the message.

If it's a daft one liner or pure filth then I don't. (Unless I'm d*unk then I might play along) 🤣

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By *onin25Man
2 days ago

Durham

If its someone who is polite and has said a bit more than just hi, or they actually meet my preferences then I'll respond politely with a no thanks if I'm not interested. If it's a single male that's just said hi, or has been a bit vulgar then it's an instant delete. I used to reply to every message but if they aren't going to make the effort to read my profile then I'm not making the effort to reply.

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By *oul_Man-MedwayMan
2 days ago

Rainham / Gillingham

I sometimes get a very polite 'no thank you' which is appreciated because at least I know they read the message and it's clear I'm not what they're looking for.

I certainly don't expect it though.

If I was getting 100s of messages, I'd just concentrate on the ones of interest and delete the rest.

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By *actile TensionMan
2 days ago

Sussex

I do. Only because my inbox isn't overwhelmed and I am able to easily manage the flow

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By *naswingdressWoman
2 days ago

Manchester (she/her)

Manners are not fixed, they're also situational.

It's also polite to consider the pressures on others and the context in which you find yourself.

Which is why I find the "I'm polite, I always reply" threads to demonstrate entitlement and rudeness from those who insist on replies.

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By *hitetornadoMan
2 days ago

Rotherham

Always message that

It’s just basic courtesy

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 days ago

East Sussex

No, we always assume that the person who has messaged us will have the manners to have read the site FAQ and will understand that no reply means 'no thank you'.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
2 days ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t. Delete and block if not interested

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By *tormQueenWoman
2 days ago

All over the place

I dont...because i normally have filters up 🤷‍♀️

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By *eroLondonMan
2 days ago

Mayfair

"How many people message a simple no thanks if they are not interested "

•

Very rarely these days. Probably attributed to the fact that I'm always interested. Well, most of the time anyway; this gentleman sometimes needs to catch his breath.

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By *parkle1974Woman
2 days ago

Leeds

I'm polite until I don't need to be polite....then it's gloves off 🤣🤣

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By *4bimMan
2 days ago

Farnborough Hampshire

i use to always reply nice and politely but people just dont read.

often the message timeline is below so they can see ive made my position clear but they try and try again. i dont change my mind so instead of another reply i just delete it.

cant be arse with idiots.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
2 days ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Manners don't cost anything, as the site says no reply is a reply, yes it is nice to get a reply, even if it's a no thanks, but I would never question why I got a no thanks, no means no what ever way you look at it

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
2 days ago

Coventry

"How many people message a simple no thanks if they are not interested "

No I don’t have time to reply to a hundreds of messages. No reply is their answer as stated by fab rules.

I woukd be better if fab had automated replies with deleted or declined at least people get some text back if they get upset at ignored though they will turn cry they get automated replies

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By *tannersMan
2 days ago

stanley

I think it’s easier for most men ( I’m sure a special few get loads of messages) as we don’t get hundreds of messages. So replying to 4 or 5 a day is low effort, replying to 50, 60 or more per day takes time and effort . Also many women have had abusive messages back when they have replied “ no ty” . So prefer not to take the risk

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