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Rate your own dick or fanny

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By *eximus Maximus OP   Man
1 week ago

Up North

Like an Amazon style review

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By *hickthighs26Woman
1 week ago

funky town

100/10

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By *Effy-Woman
1 week ago

Scotland

Like right now or on a good day?

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By *mf123Man
1 week ago

with one foot out the door

My c9ck is not south american

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By *eximus Maximus OP   Man
1 week ago

Up North


"Like right now or on a good day? "

Right now

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By *ensuallover1000Man
1 week ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Amazing product! Would recommend wholeheartedly!’

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By *Effy-Woman
1 week ago

Scotland


"Like right now or on a good day?

Right now "

Oh.

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By *asty tatsyMan
1 week ago

london

Currently at low with mine flop leaning left, need some maintenance 3/10 😁

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By *ouplususCouple
1 week ago

Cheshire

Exceptional — Exceeded Expectations

Upon arrival, the product displayed excellent symmetry and a delightful aroma. The skin was velvety, the colour was inviting, and the overall presentation suggested that like paint it does exactly what it says on the tin 🤣

Pros:

Perfect balance of sweetness and tanginess

Soft and juicy

Impossible to ignore

Cons:

May inspire poor decision-making

Difficult to discuss in public

Durability:

Seems indefatigable and impossible to break… 😜

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By *enk15Man
1 week ago

Evesham

Better than a Temu cock.

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By *imonleedsfunMan
1 week ago

leeds

Perfectly adequate, arrived and despatched on time, not the biggest in the world but would recommend seller. A+

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By *iddle aged and chubbyMan
1 week ago

Shefford

Nice and compact, works very well

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By *mf123Man
1 week ago

with one foot out the door

Its like an old classic supercar car old pretty to look at full of power but too expensive to run

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By *Effy-Woman
1 week ago

Scotland

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have owned this product for 31 years and I can confidently say it's never let me down. Clean, sleek style that fits neatly in a thong. If you turn it fully on, it does leak quite a bit. Some see that as a con. It fits comfortably around other compatible products and has been known to induce an eye roll or two.

I recommend giving it a go.

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By *apmeupagainMan
1 week ago

St Neots

6.5 uncut. Does the job

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By *ickshawedCouple
1 week ago

Wolverhampton

3/10

Might be made in England but resembles cheap Chinese tat. Don't waste your money

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
1 week ago

South Wales

10/10…..tip top condition, would recommend xx 😘 😄

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By *estinysswingersCouple
1 week ago

Worsley

[Removed by poster at 04/06/26 16:11:30]

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By *WB85Man
1 week ago

Staffordshire

The pictures don't do the item justice.

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By *estinysswingersCouple
1 week ago

Worsley

Amazing. Never had better. Reaches places others have struggled to reach. Would buy again.

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
1 week ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

7/10 does the job but there are better on the market. Reliable and durable, been known to leak.

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By *etwife8230Couple
1 week ago

Newport

👌 perfect

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By *arco_pMan
1 week ago

Hednesford

Like a good old vintage wine or brandy.

Always worth a try

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By *loydyMan
1 week ago

British

Not massive but a good girth

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By *ust want fun 888Man
1 week ago

nearby

People have said, comes highly recommended, 7 out of 10 pussies that they provided it

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By *issBellaWoman
1 week ago

Flintshire

Roadkill kebab -1000

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
1 week ago

In a galaxy far far away

Found a note in the packaging calling me a pervert. May take legal action.

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By *ee04Man
1 week ago

Essex

This item is enthusiastic always rises to the occasion fits multiple different sockets without any fuss. Sometimes been known to spit, however not a problem if hooded correctly. The original real deal

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By *heJam84Man
1 week ago

Manchester

i mean i like mine when i see it inside something as for other times, its just a dick.

love a nice looking vagina though, one if i see it i am like can i eat it

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By *tubbleandtroubleCouple
1 week ago

Hogwarts

Arrived in faulty packaging, returned for a full refund and will be looking to upgrade to the more aesthetically pleasing version as soon as possible.

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By *leeds82mMan
1 week ago

Leeds, York, Halifax, West Yorkshire area....


"⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have owned this product for 31 years and I can confidently say it's never let me down. Clean, sleek style that fits neatly in a thong. If you turn it fully on, it does leak quite a bit. Some see that as a con. It fits comfortably around other compatible products and has been known to induce an eye roll or two.

I recommend giving it a go. "

Wowsers - sounds incredibly delightful!!

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By *parklingeclipseWoman
1 week ago

Lincolnshire

I hate the word fanny 😂

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By *actile TensionMan
1 week ago

Sussex


"⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have owned this product for 31 years and I can confidently say it's never let me down. Clean, sleek style that fits neatly in a thong. If you turn it fully on, it does leak quite a bit. Some see that as a con. It fits comfortably around other compatible products and has been known to induce an eye roll or two.

I recommend giving it a go. "

👏🏻👏🏻

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By *lex123456052360Man
1 week ago

Stourbridge


"I hate the word fanny 😂"

What do you call yours lol

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By *Effy-Woman
1 week ago

Scotland


"⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have owned this product for 31 years and I can confidently say it's never let me down. Clean, sleek style that fits neatly in a thong. If you turn it fully on, it does leak quite a bit. Some see that as a con. It fits comfortably around other compatible products and has been known to induce an eye roll or two.

I recommend giving it a go.

Wowsers - sounds incredibly delightful!!"

It is, on a good day.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
1 week ago

Herts/Leeds

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Excellent. I was so impressed I showed my neighbours, who were also very impressed, so much so they have asked the local police to come and see it too. Wish it came in a multipack now, hence only 4 stars but I guess neighbours and police can order if still in stock.

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By *r.ZeusMan
1 week ago

Basgiath War College

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5

Verified Purchase

I've owned this product for decades and can confidently say it has held up exceptionally well. The finish remains attractive, the dimensions are generous without being impractical, and overall performance continues to meet or exceed expectations.

Pros:

✔️ Premium appearance

✔️ Excellent reach and coverage

✔️ Solid build quality

✔️ Reliable response time

✔️ Frequently complimented by independent reviewers

Cons:

❌ Can be difficult to keep a hat on

❌ Occasionally overconfident after receiving positive feedback

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By *carlettsWoman
1 week ago

Harpenden

Smooth as fuck although due to age a little rough round the edges.

Will go the extra mile. Good under pressure, performs well.

Not bad for the price

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By *acko452Man
1 week ago

maldon

Average I guess

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By *igBeardyDanMan
1 week ago

Bilston

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

5 stars would recommend

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By *asualConnectionsMan
1 week ago

bristol

5 / 10

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
1 week ago

IPSWICH

Only available on Prime. Comes quicker than most which is handy when need it in a hurry.

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By *wcoMan
1 week ago

West Midlands

Its the best one I've ever had, wouldn't be without it. The colour is perfect too. It matches the rest of my body but at the same time, it doesn't look out of place with any other skin tones it's encountered.

It's amazing really.

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By *luebell888Woman
1 week ago

Glasgowish

It's not in bad shape considering the poundings it has had over the years

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By *atbaz28Man
1 week ago

wendover

2/10

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
1 week ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)


"⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5

Verified Purchase

I've owned this product for decades and can confidently say it has held up exceptionally well. The finish remains attractive, the dimensions are generous without being impractical, and overall performance continues to meet or exceed expectations.

Pros:

✔️ Premium appearance

✔️ Excellent reach and coverage

✔️ Solid build quality

✔️ Reliable response time

✔️ Frequently complimented by independent reviewers

Cons:

❌ Can be difficult to keep a hat on

❌ Occasionally overconfident after receiving positive feedback"

This so by far the best review !

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By *ussylicker50!Man
1 week ago

Gateshead

Had no complaints or rejects from this product so far, seems to be relatively popular to those who have tryed and tested, sometimes may have to purchase lube or plenty of foreplay before applying this product if you are fairly new to using or are quite petite. Hugely recommend this great product!!

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By *ilmour98Man
1 week ago

Fethiye

Could’ve been thicker but perfect size(long) and performance I’d say

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By *ysteriousGirlOGWoman
1 week ago

Birmingham

Good grippage, tight fit, cervix that needs a rest.. 8/10

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By *assage4yourpleasureMan
1 week ago

canterbury

Looks better out of the packaging !

Works well when turned on!

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By *rchie300Man
1 week ago

Hamworthy

I think I got a pretty one , it works , and like my nipples it tastes like malteaser truffles 😉

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By *oddess_MelissaTV/TS
1 week ago

wilts

Never a single complaint & alway makes them moan

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By *arolTVTV/TS
1 week ago

Norwich

Cock currently in a cage so a 10.

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By *r1dayMan
1 week ago

Middlesbrough

Rigid with life like feel,touch activated twitch action,compliant with multi female adapters and comes with own lubricating fluid.

10 customers gave a 4 star rating

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By *D666KellyTV/TS
1 week ago

drogheda

Not too big, not too small, but pretty

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By (user no longer on site)
1 week ago

Compact,extremely neat and smooth

5*

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By *hisIsMe58Man
1 week ago

Winchester

Perfect in every way. 10/10

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By *ate2theparty808Man
1 week ago

Erdington

It’s a 10/10.

I can’t leave it alone

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By *F25Man
1 week ago

kent

10/10 i am obsessed with it lol

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By *tannersMan
1 week ago

stanley

This product has been recalled by the manufacturer, please contact us for a refund 😂😂

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By *lim_funMan
1 week ago

Hebden bridge

8"/10 happy with size and girth although it's abit curved. Not an issue, not freaky and honestly an advantage at hitting certain spots given certain twists in position.

Not a total monster but I've found a lot of women would actually prefer smaller even with lube and foreplay it can be hard to take it all. Just means I gotta build the pressure start slow before going balls deep. Would like someone to deep throat it without vomiting though

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By *arathonMan86Man
1 week ago

Essex


"⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have owned this product for 31 years and I can confidently say it's never let me down. Clean, sleek style that fits neatly in a thong. If you turn it fully on, it does leak quite a bit. Some see that as a con. It fits comfortably around other compatible products and has been known to induce an eye roll or two.

I recommend giving it a go. "

31 years of flawless service? That’s some serious quality engineering.

Love the sleek design, the perfect thong compatibility, and that signature leak when fully operational

Might have to book a test drive… purely for research purposes, of course.

How’s the waiting list looking?

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By *eximus Maximus OP   Man
1 week ago

Up North

Good reviews guys

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By *arathonMan86Man
1 week ago

Essex

Been stuck with this handsome black cock for 40+ years and wow… what a trooper.

Sleek, thick, and blessed with ridiculous stamina — shows up for multiple long rounds like it’s trying to prove a point.

Leaves them eye-rolling, toe-curling, and dramatically breathless.

No leakage problems on my end (unlike some models).

10/10, would recommend if you can handle elite performance.

This thing is tragically overqualified.

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By *arrychiilMan
1 week ago

all over

I can make the text any smaller to help haha

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By *Effy-Woman
1 week ago

Scotland


"⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have owned this product for 31 years and I can confidently say it's never let me down. Clean, sleek style that fits neatly in a thong. If you turn it fully on, it does leak quite a bit. Some see that as a con. It fits comfortably around other compatible products and has been known to induce an eye roll or two.

I recommend giving it a go.

31 years of flawless service? That’s some serious quality engineering.

Love the sleek design, the perfect thong compatibility, and that signature leak when fully operational

Might have to book a test drive… purely for research purposes, of course.

How’s the waiting list looking?

"

There currently is no waiting list.

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By *olvesxcoupleCouple
1 week ago

Round the bend

Id give myself one

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By *amCutMan
1 week ago

east Midlands

5/10

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By *iaisonseekerMan
1 week ago

Liverpool

So many dicks fail to live up to the hype that my expectations of this one were not exactly sky-high. It's a classic uncircumcised model, very traditional in look and feel. The glans has so far retained its shine despite intensive use and it boasts a highly efficient semen delivery system. Overall, not the most flamboyant example of this kind of hardware but a reliable performer. 4/5.

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By *ubzero116Man
1 week ago

London

6.5/10

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By *eardofVampiresWoman
1 week ago

Lancaster

Just like a neatly packed ham butty...or so someone say

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By *lim_funMan
1 week ago

Hebden bridge


"Just like a neatly packed ham butty...or so someone say

"

I'm vegetarian but cruelty free ham exists. Would try.

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By *arathonMan86Man
1 week ago

Essex


"⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have owned this product for 31 years and I can confidently say it's never let me down. Clean, sleek style that fits neatly in a thong. If you turn it fully on, it does leak quite a bit. Some see that as a con. It fits comfortably around other compatible products and has been known to induce an eye roll or two.

I recommend giving it a go.

31 years of flawless service? That’s some serious quality engineering.

Love the sleek design, the perfect thong compatibility, and that signature leak when fully operational

Might have to book a test drive… purely for research purposes, of course.

How’s the waiting list looking?

There currently is no waiting list. "

Excellent news — no waiting list means I can book that test drive immediately.

Just promise not to blame me when the eye-rolls start and the neighbours file a noise complaint… So, when are you free for the first extended test session

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By *orkguyMan
1 week ago

york

Still in excellent condition despite its age. Was regularly used for many years by a careful lady owner, but been sat idle for a while. Probably still works with a bit of tinkering

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By *cnugatugMan
1 week ago

Chatham

★★★★ 4.0 out of 5 stars

Exceeded Expectations, Surprisingly Durable

I wasn't sure what to expect when this arrived, but after extensive testing, I can confidently say it performs exactly as advertised. Setup was quick and straightforward, responsiveness was impressive, and overall build quality feels solid.

Pros:

Reliable under pressure

Generates strong reactions from select focus groups

No batteries required

Cons:

Occasionally overconfident

User manual appears to be missing

Performance may vary depending on audience

Would recommend to anyone in the market for a multifunctional personal accessory. Looking forward to future updates and feature enhancements.

Mrs B S

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By *uckMe12FreeMan
1 week ago

(User no longer on site)

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

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By *evilinDavina1Man
1 week ago

Bristol

Eco friendly

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By *econdtimelucky101Man
1 week ago

Near Birmingham.


"⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have owned this product for 31 years and I can confidently say it's never let me down. Clean, sleek style that fits neatly in a thong. If you turn it fully on, it does leak quite a bit. Some see that as a con. It fits comfortably around other compatible products and has been known to induce an eye roll or two.

I recommend giving it a go. "

Great review, I can see it being popular.

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By *0ng0 furyMan
1 week ago

Birkenhead

11

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By *eximus Maximus OP   Man
1 week ago

Up North

Where he fanny hole reviews 🤷🏻‍♂️

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By *vaRoseWoman
1 week ago

Ankh-Morpork

⭐⭐⭐☆☆ (3/5)

Verified Owner

Home grown model approaching its sell by date.

Pros:

* Surprisingly powerful internal clamping mechanism. Industrial grade grip strength.

* Despite being attached to a plus-sized owner, it remains the only part of the system that appears to maintain a dedicated fitness regime.

* Generally reliable and capable of impressive performance under the right guidance.

* Multi-orgasm compatibility is a nice premium feature that I was not expecting from the standard package.

.

Cons:

* Suffers from a recurring monthly software update that introduces red rage and inexplicable emotional outbursts in its owner.

* Maintenance requirements are excessive… hair removal requires contortions

* Operating instructions were not included.

* Visual appeal is very much in the eye of the beholder, but with a colour like discounted mince you’ve got to be weird to like it

.

Overall:

Solid piece of equipment with excellent build quality and impressive grip strength. Loses two stars for unpredictable monthly behaviour and aappearance like meat on the turn.

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By *ouncilcuntMan
1 week ago

London

5 out of 10 atm

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By *wkwardly yoursMan
1 week ago

Tighnabruaich

Im a good 6 on a warm day

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By *utoftheBluexWoman
1 week ago

Bot Farm

Pre-loved like new

7/10

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By *orthwestladinbrumMan
1 week ago

erdington

1/10 shocking

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By *layer3Man
1 week ago

Around


"⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have owned this product for 31 years and I can confidently say it's never let me down. Clean, sleek style that fits neatly in a thong. If you turn it fully on, it does leak quite a bit. Some see that as a con. It fits comfortably around other compatible products and has been known to induce an eye roll or two.

I recommend giving it a go. "

I think I've seen your reviews on Amazon. Are you a trusted reviewer?!

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By *ookieMonsterMan
1 week ago

B’stoke

⭐️ 1 out of 5

Now Don’t go looking for it in my pics…

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By *layer3Man
1 week ago

Around


"⭐⭐⭐☆☆ (3/5)

Verified Owner

Home grown model approaching its sell by date.

Pros:

* Surprisingly powerful internal clamping mechanism. Industrial grade grip strength.

* Despite being attached to a plus-sized owner, it remains the only part of the system that appears to maintain a dedicated fitness regime.

* Generally reliable and capable of impressive performance under the right guidance.

* Multi-orgasm compatibility is a nice premium feature that I was not expecting from the standard package.

.

Cons:

* Suffers from a recurring monthly software update that introduces red rage and inexplicable emotional outbursts in its owner.

* Maintenance requirements are excessive… hair removal requires contortions

* Operating instructions were not included.

* Visual appeal is very much in the eye of the beholder, but with a colour like discounted mince you’ve got to be weird to like it

.

Overall:

Solid piece of equipment with excellent build quality and impressive grip strength. Loses two stars for unpredictable monthly behaviour and aappearance like meat on the turn."

I laughed way more than I should have at this. Then checked the pictures.

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By *anGuy4funMan
1 week ago

Belfast

1 previous owner. Slightly modified from original but a good all rounder. Would recommend to a friend. 6/10

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By *oiluvfunMan
1 week ago

Birmingham

I’d say mine is a solid 8.

It’s 8 when it’s solid anyway…..😋

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
1 week ago

SW1A1AA

0/10 Well past its sell by date

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By *ookieMonsterMan
1 week ago

B’stoke


"0/10 Well past its sell by date "

Some people like vintage …. 😇

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By *ornylad877Man
1 week ago

local

3/10

Slightly disappointed would be an understatement

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By *pace cowboy05Man
1 week ago

wales/london/ southwest

5/5 great product, which is growing on me everytime I use it. Would recommend to other users although buyer beware needs regular lubrication yo maximise longevity and performance. Probably alternatives available with different features but this one has never had a bad review

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By *outhLondonSmileMan
1 week ago

London

Four stars or if five. I held one back because there is always room for improvement.

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By *lue Eyed JokerMan
1 week ago

Always on the move

1/5, Asked to be left in safe space but instead was thrown over the fence and left in the rain at the back door

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By *ee1967Man
1 week ago

rickmansworth

I'd give my dick 8 out of 10. It is, on a good day, it's 7 and a half inches. It's very smooth and it cums a lot, and I've been told it tastes very nice

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By *ampireWolvesMan
1 week ago

Essex

10/10. Always there for me he. I need it. Does what is says.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
1 week ago

SW1A1AA

Bet you would sooner me

rate

your

covkf

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By *b1980Man
1 week ago

Burnley

5/5 for me

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By *iver78Man
1 week ago

barton upon humber

Does.the job it's designed to

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By *otyouraverage1Man
1 week ago

enfield

Not huge but you wouldn't want it as a nose

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By *ellylovesto69TV/TS
1 week ago

newcastle

He's my best friend and I ( probably a bit too much) often shake it life out of him..so I'd give him 10/10😊

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By *inkymjMan
1 week ago

Kidderminster

Good size and does the job.

4/5

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By *acktolookaboutmaybeMan
1 week ago

Cc

3.5 stars

Quality construction though likely to not work as expected in cold conditions. Bit overpriced for what it delivers. newer models may get job done faster but less longevity.

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By *atinaChica54Woman
1 week ago

Marlborough

Presents well. Slight wear & tear but that's to be expected due to its age. Overall satisfied with its durability & you certainly get more bang for your buck!

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By *lfonzoMan
1 week ago

Aberystwyth

Not bad, a little smaller than expected but does the job

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By *he Gentleman 84Man
1 week ago

North East

I’m going a confident 10/10 🤣👌🏻

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By *utoftheBluexWoman
1 week ago

Bot Farm


"Looks better out of the packaging !

Works well when turned on! "

😀🙌

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By *uin80Man
1 week ago

Fareham

Bit like Ronseal, does exactly what it says on the tin. Good longevity

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By *eautifully TwistedWoman
1 week ago

Telford

Works well under the right direction

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By (user no longer on site)
1 week ago

Good size and shape and apparently tastes great

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By *otandDashCouple
1 week ago

farnham

Average at 6.5 inches , It's keeps the wife happy so , I'm not unhappy with what I've got ..

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By *ll-Knight-longMan
1 week ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)

Came as part of the complete package & considered as a well worn but still working vintage item. Fully serviced regularly & no electronics tool to break down. Has a patina that comes with a maturity & patience of this craftsman with a skill achieved through dedication

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By *arrenhertsmanMan
1 week ago

Hatfield

6 inch and decent girth …. Works fine and repeat offender !! and has in the past received compliments…..

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By *umbleweed.Man
1 week ago

Naas

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Have owned this product for many years and still in excellent working order, no mains/battery required as it has its own internal charging system which when full can last up to 8 hours with mini-recharges at regular intervals although a longer charge maybe required now and again,

Touch activated and can inflate quite quickly and still works extremely well no matter how wet it gets

I'm sure there are newer and bigger ones on the market but as with all modern tech they'll need replacing after a short time (Beware of the cheap ones on Temu)

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By *eximus Maximus OP   Man
1 week ago

Up North

Great rating guys ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

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By *ildatheart01Man
1 week ago

Petersfield

Bigger than I thought. Would use again.

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By *r interestedMan
1 week ago

near the lough

Surprisingly compact but extends to pleasing size . Suitable for travel and performs well in wet conditions

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By *heExcommMan
1 week ago

llantrisant

I'd give it a 7/10. Above average but not perfect

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By *t198sixMan
1 week ago

Dunstable

Can we enter negativity numbers out of 10🤔😭😅

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By *hat.coupleCouple
1 week ago

Kent

9/10 can hold a large load if needed. Very durable, can handle a pounding. Has an amazing taste apparently.

Mrs x

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By *reeman69Man
1 week ago

Leeds

Mi gusta 🙂

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By *eenALongTime.....Man
1 week ago

......

Likes to hide in warm wet holes but doesn't happen very often

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
1 week ago

In a galaxy far far away

[Removed by poster at 05/06/26 22:08:10]

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
1 week ago

In a galaxy far far away

Didn't have instructions but came as advertised

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By *icci65Man
1 week ago

warrington

7/10 nice thickish hand full

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By *ionandleopardCouple
1 week ago

Norwich

1* - never ordering from temu again

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By *otopaxiMan
7 days ago

nostalgia

Meh - won’t order again

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By *otopaxiMan
7 days ago

nostalgia


"[Genitalia removed by poster at 05/06/26 22:08:10]"

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By *effdelightMan
7 days ago

Grimsby

Haha I'll give myself a solid 7

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By *ullrunMan
7 days ago

Bradford

4*- not been in use for a while. Made in pakistan

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By *effdelightMan
7 days ago

Grimsby


"4*- not been in use for a while. Made in pakistan"
sure it's worth more than a 4 but we don't know because we can't see it 🤣

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By *etmebeinurefantasiesMan
7 days ago

witney

I think my cock is ok, but what does everyone else think?

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By *eenALongTime.....Man
7 days ago

......


"1* - never ordering from temu again "

I'll take hef off your hands

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By *lim_funMan
7 days ago

Hebden bridge


"I think my cock is ok, but what does everyone else think?"

The cock ring hand makes me laugh but I'm probably not the right demographic

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By *ikejones111Man
7 days ago

Peterborough

I generally like mine , if I could change anything though would get rid of tight foreskin

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By *urious178Man
7 days ago

Stockport

I might not have the biggest nail but ill try my best to hammer it in x

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By *uiffyMan
7 days ago

llandudno

Rate mine a good 7

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By *ifferent2000Man
7 days ago

Watford

Still got to grow yet...

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By *er and Him LookinCouple
7 days ago

Glasgow

Arrived with a piece missing 🤔🤣

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By *myKnightCouple
7 days ago

London

6, too tight

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By *ungryhammerMan
7 days ago

preston

“INSOMNICOCK”

As my head hits the pillow he jumps up like a hyped up Hard man,ready to take on the world.

I’ve tried choking him to death but still he stands tall……🤔

I’ve had late night showers to calm him but still he’s throbbing like a powerlifters bicep…🤣

And even when do get some sleep 😴…

I wake up to him holding my double duvet high above his head like I’m sleeping in a fucking tent….🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Any tips to calm him down ???

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By *etshavesomefun2Man
7 days ago

Callington

I'll let someone else rate it...

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By *aughty NMan
7 days ago

Birmingham

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By *l chapo123Man
7 days ago

Costa del sol

Cute

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By *effdelightMan
7 days ago

Grimsby


"6, too tight "
can't see?

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By *owman500Man
7 days ago

Hove

Nuclear weapon, large and powerful but never used!!

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By *ilf EnthusiastMan
7 days ago

Highgate

A decent 6

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By *ere4playMan
7 days ago

Darwen

8/10 *I'm white, we have a limit

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By *ean34Man
7 days ago

Cleveland

I would give mine an 8 not a monster but does the job

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By *amCutMan
7 days ago

east Midlands

Hard to rate yourself but I'd say that I'm a 6/10

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By *ullrunMan
7 days ago

Bradford


"4*- not been in use for a while. Made in pakistan sure it's worth more than a 4 but we don't know because we can't see it 🤣"

It's reserved for women only that's why unfortunately

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By *ill6969willMan
7 days ago

Dumbarton

7 I'll say

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By *couseBaldyMan
7 days ago

Liverpool

5.0 out of 5 Stars

"Reliable and Reuseable for those eco warriors – Would Rate It 6 Stars If Amazon Let Me"

Verified Usage: My Hand, Multiple Times

Pros

Reliability: More uptime than Facebook. Zero performance anxiety.

Build Quaity: It's like it was forged in the heat of a Sheffield steel works.

Recharge: Come with it's own set of pillows to sleep on

Compatability: Comes with a Universal setting to fit all holes

Cons

Sometimes it malfunctions and stands to attention in public or during the night like it's standing on standing on the parade square.

Like subway, it was sold as a 12 inch but against scrutiny it always measures less.

Didn't contain a choking hazard warning label ...

I took wayyy too long writing this haha

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By (user no longer on site)
7 days ago

recieved slightly warped and stained colouring but does the job. mostly reliable but needs warmed up in cold weather.

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By *ady And The MonocleCouple
7 days ago

Halifax, Leeds, West Yorkshire

4/5 Looks good visually but once activated can be even more appealing , slippery and a nice firm fit so perfect when used and definitely long lasting too.

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By *outhman15Man
7 days ago

southampton

Average

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
7 days ago

Stratford upon Avon

Nice and tight but too many frilly bits lol

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