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Question for the women of fab

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By *rytomakelifefun OP   Man
7 days ago

Leeds

So this is a question surrounding flirting in person - assuming it's non fab flirting.

If a guy is on his own in a social setting - bar, cafe, pub ect, and he's obviously laying it on, is it weird if he's on his own?

Eg, is a guy who has popped down to the bar or pub for whatever reason a wierdo, red flag, especially if he's flirting with people, or is it just a case of, let people be themselves?

I'll caveat this with - assuming the person isn't drinking themselves silly, and also knowing that everyone has their own take on this.

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By *hickthighs26Woman
7 days ago

your hotlist

I think it comes down to context and the venue.

If he's in the middle of greggs leering and shouting to every woman that walks past "oooh you would get it love" it would be a no from me.

If he approaches in a pub makes a conversation to start and throws a bit of flirting in i wouldn't think that was weird.

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By *estructionDollyWoman
7 days ago

Manchester

A guy on his own in a bar/pub who starts chatting me up gives me red flag energy, particularly late at night.

Comes off a bit predatory and that he's only there to find a woman to have sex with. Especially if he started coming on strong or he hands around the dance floor scoping "targets". I've come across enough creeps on nights out that I'm wary.

If it was daytime and he was being friendly, I might be a bit more receptive.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
7 days ago

Liverpool


"A guy on his own in a bar/pub who starts chatting me up gives me red flag energy, particularly late at night.

Comes off a bit predatory and that he's only there to find a woman to have sex with. Especially if he started coming on strong or he hands around the dance floor scoping "targets". I've come across enough creeps on nights out that I'm wary.

If it was daytime and he was being friendly, I might be a bit more receptive."

Yeah this would be my take as well. Unless he was perhaps in a hotel bar away on business or about to meet friends, I would be a bit wary too.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
7 days ago

East Sussex

Honest answer? It would depend how attractive I found him

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By *anderingWelshGuyMan
7 days ago

Swansea


"I think it comes down to context and the venue.

If he's in the middle of greggs leering and shouting to every woman that walks past "oooh you would get it love" it would be a no from me.

If he approaches in a pub makes a conversation to start and throws a bit of flirting in i wouldn't think that was weird."

Ah bugger I thought wolf whistling whilst chewing a steak bake was the height of romance 🙈

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By *he KakapoMan
7 days ago

A nice rock

Flirting with people 🚩

Flirting with one person not as much

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By *hams123Man
7 days ago

London


"Honest answer? It would depend how attractive I found him "

That seems to be the bar for acceptable behaviour.

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By *hams123Man
7 days ago

London

I'm definitely noticing more single men just hanging out on their own (me included). Not necessarily interacting with anyone, just enjoying their solitude in public.

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By *s Little SecretWoman
7 days ago

Harlow

I think body language is important here, if she is giving you eye contact (not through fear) then maybe it's more welcome. I don't think a solo guy is that strange, unless you're in the girls loos 🤣🤣

It's difficult because each girl is different, but you can only try and I'm sure you will within 5 mins know where you stand... From either her saying or body language

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By *ustyT85Man
7 days ago

Swarthmoor

Note to self !! 📝 No telling women they would get it , whilst in Greggs. Gotcha !! 🤓

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By *hams123Man
7 days ago

London


"I think body language is important here, if she is giving you eye contact (not through fear) then maybe it's more welcome. I don't think a solo guy is that strange, unless you're in the girls loos 🤣🤣

It's difficult because each girl is different, but you can only try and I'm sure you will within 5 mins know where you stand... From either her saying or body language "

I don't understand eye contact. I don't know what it means. 👀

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By *lirtyFilthWoman
7 days ago

Barnstaple

I find that if a man is stood on his own at the bar and I’m buying myself a drink then I will 99% of the time engage him in conversation. I’m a natural flirt and don’t always realise that I’m doing it. I’m always happy to talk to others. I’m not worried about going into a busy local pub on my own. I’m lucky because I live in a town and not the city. Maybe this makes a difference?

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By *rytomakelifefun OP   Man
7 days ago

Leeds


"I think it comes down to context and the venue.

If he's in the middle of greggs leering and shouting to every woman that walks past "oooh you would get it love" it would be a no from me.

If he approaches in a pub makes a conversation to start and throws a bit of flirting in i wouldn't think that was weird."

Damn, that's where I've been going wrong. I guess tonguing the friday treat doughnut whilst giving come to bed eyes would be creepy too?

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By *rytomakelifefun OP   Man
7 days ago

Leeds


"A guy on his own in a bar/pub who starts chatting me up gives me red flag energy, particularly late at night.

Comes off a bit predatory and that he's only there to find a woman to have sex with. Especially if he started coming on strong or he hands around the dance floor scoping "targets". I've come across enough creeps on nights out that I'm wary.

If it was daytime and he was being friendly, I might be a bit more receptive."

Completely get that, this is what I was worried about

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By *rytomakelifefun OP   Man
7 days ago

Leeds


"Honest answer? It would depend how attractive I found him "

Completely get that, I've learnt to trust my gut on first appearances and first impressions, and sometimes that weird extra sense is worth listening to

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By *omeotherguyMan
7 days ago

Sheffield/London/Derbyshire


"A guy on his own in a bar/pub who starts chatting me up gives me red flag energy, particularly late at night.

Comes off a bit predatory and that he's only there to find a woman to have sex with. Especially if he started coming on strong or he hands around the dance floor scoping "targets". I've come across enough creeps on nights out that I'm wary.

If it was daytime and he was being friendly, I might be a bit more receptive.

Yeah this would be my take as well. Unless he was perhaps in a hotel bar away on business or about to meet friends, I would be a bit wary too. "

For contrast, in the US, it is very common to head to a bar on your own and start chatting with strangers in the evenings and at night.

But I totally understand your point of view, however.

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By *rytomakelifefun OP   Man
7 days ago

Leeds


"Flirting with people 🚩

Flirting with one person not as much"

Yeah I can see that.

One gives, I'm going my thing but you've caught my eye vibes. Whilst the other gives lads on a night out just trying to score, vibes

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By *rytomakelifefun OP   Man
7 days ago

Leeds


"I'm definitely noticing more single men just hanging out on their own (me included). Not necessarily interacting with anyone, just enjoying their solitude in public."

I mean one of my little treats is to get a latte or two and take a book to read in a coffee shop.

But I don't think that's weird, I think seeking out a third space for a quiet hobby is normal

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By *hickthighs26Woman
7 days ago

your hotlist


"I think it comes down to context and the venue.

If he's in the middle of greggs leering and shouting to every woman that walks past "oooh you would get it love" it would be a no from me.

If he approaches in a pub makes a conversation to start and throws a bit of flirting in i wouldn't think that was weird.

Damn, that's where I've been going wrong. I guess tonguing the friday treat doughnut whilst giving come to bed eyes would be creepy too?"

No id be IN

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By *atinaChica54Woman
7 days ago

Marlborough

I live in a small village & there are a number of single guys of different ages, having a drink, chat, laugh etc. I don't find it weird if they're striking up conversations with myself or other women in the pubs here. This may involve a little flirting (I've been known to partake in this myself) & just feel, leave them be. If a guy flirts with me & I'm not attracted to them, as in, I just don't fancy them, but we're having a great chat & a laugh, I have no qualms in telling them that I'm enjoying their company, but make it clear that it'll be nothing more than that. If it's someone whom I am attracted to, then I'll be flirting back in hope that it could culminate in some naughty fun somewhere down the line😉.

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By *ellinever70Woman
7 days ago

Ayrshire

What's the obsession with flirting? I'd be a lot more inclined to just engage in a chat with someone who wasn't obviously being flirty.

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By *uckMe12FreeMan
7 days ago

(User no longer on site)

What's wrong with men going out by themselves? I do it quite regularly. Due to my working shift pattern, I find myself going out midweek for a few pints and a cheeky flirt. Not everyone has the luxury of getting bladdered on say a Tuesday night. 😁

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By *ate2theparty808Man
7 days ago

Erdington

I find it much easier to flirt with someone I have no chance with, knowing it’s not going anywhere it’s just a bit of banter, obviously not with someone I don’t know from a hole in the ground, I have a rule for interacting with women I don’t know well,

“never say anything to a woman you don’t know that you wouldn’t want to hear from your cell mate on your first day in prison”

But I do like a good flirt, especially if she can make me blush

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By *rytomakelifefun OP   Man
7 days ago

Leeds


"What's the obsession with flirting? I'd be a lot more inclined to just engage in a chat with someone who wasn't obviously being flirty. "

I actually agree with this, but I think it's figuring out what responds to what?

I'm far more confident when it comes to chatting about topics of interest and letting flirtations come from that

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By *rytomakelifefun OP   Man
7 days ago

Leeds


"I think it comes down to context and the venue.

If he's in the middle of greggs leering and shouting to every woman that walks past "oooh you would get it love" it would be a no from me.

If he approaches in a pub makes a conversation to start and throws a bit of flirting in i wouldn't think that was weird.

Damn, that's where I've been going wrong. I guess tonguing the friday treat doughnut whilst giving come to bed eyes would be creepy too?

No id be IN"

Haha fancy a greggs coffee date? :P

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By *elightfulMan
7 days ago

Ipswich /Colchester


"I'm definitely noticing more single men just hanging out on their own (me included). Not necessarily interacting with anyone, just enjoying their solitude in public."

Yes, definitely. I love my own company, having a coffee, going for a walk or just reading the paper somewhere. If I can interact with a lady and do a bit of flirting its a bonus.

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
7 days ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

There have been times when I’ve gone to the bar for us both and I’ve been flirted with and I flirted back but as we are a couple it’s very rare a man will approach us outside of a club setting. We’re not very good at reading signals so even if some bloke was trying it on unless he made it 100 per cent clear we would be oblivious!

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By *oyoteUglyWoman
7 days ago

Somewhere dark and gloomy

Any guy chatting me up in person is a red flag, he obviously has very poor standards.

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
7 days ago

Chester


"I think it comes down to context and the venue.

If he's in the middle of greggs leering and shouting to every woman that walks past "oooh you would get it love" it would be a no from me.

If he approaches in a pub makes a conversation to start and throws a bit of flirting in i wouldn't think that was weird."

Dunno TT26 you're selling the Greggs scenario to me 🥵

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
7 days ago

Central

I expect people to flirt, as it's natural life . I'm happy with men flirting to me and my response will depend on whether I fancy him and how he's engaging.

Don't stop flirting! For God's sake, please. People are disconnected from each other too much, as it is.

Inappropriate behaviour is disrespectful behaviour, including much more than flirting

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By *ustyT85Man
7 days ago

Swarthmoor


"Any guy chatting me up in person is a red flag, he obviously has very poor standards. "

I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near you in person

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
7 days ago

Leeds

Flirting with people as in lots of people - red flag.

Walks upto one person general polite introduction and a little flirt - not red flag.

Mrs

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By *olo180Man
7 days ago

Greater London


"What's wrong with men going out by themselves? I do it quite regularly. Due to my working shift pattern, I find myself going out midweek for a few pints and a cheeky flirt. Not everyone has the luxury of getting bladdered on say a Tuesday night. 😁"

Some of the thread topics and responses over last couple of days have just got me thinking that it’s a waste of time doing anything. Don’t go to a bar on your own, don’t chat someone up too late, don’t give women a compliment….🙄🙄

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By *iaisonseekerMan
7 days ago

Liverpool

This very scenario is the premise of Roxy Music's chef d'oeuvre, Love is the Drug. Not that it's ever really served me as a blueprint for pulling given my limited chops on the dancefloor.

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By *estructionDollyWoman
7 days ago

Manchester

I think this is another example of men and women's lived experiences being very different.

Obviously not all men who are on their own in a late night bar or club are up to anything dodgy, but I have been approached by enough creepy men in those places on nights out that it makes me wary 🤷🏻‍♀️

My comment was directed more at the types of blokes who are going round chatting to all and every woman in the vacinty and following them around which *does* happen. I've been followed round and groped by enough of these predatory types on nights out.

I'm obviously *not* saying that all men are like this and I am just talking about my own feelings (as asked by the OP).

If women are wary of men on their own in this environment it's probably best to bear in mind this is probably down to their experience of the behaviour of other men.

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